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Author Topic: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?  (Read 44962 times)

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Offline vwrw

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #100 on: July 22, 2016, 05:50:54 AM »

Frankly, the major thing that alienated American women was the fact that my pockets were empty. No offense. And the main reason why they were empty 'cos I was out of status. Of course, not just that... I simply didn't have much in common with them. I don't smoke, don't drink, don't like baseball, don't know or care about US celebrities like Howard Stern etc. etc. If I had a Green Card and a steady job, it might have been different, who knows. Meaning that women I dated would've overlooked the differences. But who cares? It's an ancient history now.
Anyhow, it won't add anything of a value to the readers of this forum.


Although your empty pockets might play a role in alienating  AW, I doubt it was the major thing. In 40% of the US households, women earn more money than men do and the house husband phenomenon is becoming more frequent in the US. So there are many AW who could consider getting involved with a not bread winner guy. Yet your attitude that is reflected  in the structure of  opinions would be very annoying to them.
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Offline Boethius

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #101 on: July 22, 2016, 05:52:32 AM »
I understood papakota's moniker without his explanation, and I don't speak any Turkic language. Papa is rather universal.

I disagree that there is no FSU mentality. Further, papakota, there are tens of millions of dating age AW. Not all of them smoke, drink, care about sports,  or celebrity culture. So your past failures were the result of you looking for the wrong thing.
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Online Faux Pas

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #102 on: July 22, 2016, 06:01:56 AM »
Faux Pas,
Figures vary and you can't pinpoint the exact amount of $$$ needed for the whole process from start to finish. But the point is that it's in 10's of thousands of dollars. I went to Ukraine in 2005 with about $3 000 in my pocket hoping to conquer the world. After being there for 3 months and meeting with a few dozens of local women, I achieved pretty much nothing (except for having sex on a few occasions). Knowing Russian as my mother tongue didn't help much. My story isn't applicable here, 'cos my circumstances are too different. Also I don't want all Internet to know too much about me. I reside in Russia and I'm a permanent resident here and plan on staying here and my Russian citizenship application is pending. I was born and raised in Soviet Union (in one of its Southern republics), so I'm kinda local in Russia. Not exactly, but pretty close. While living in the US and dating US women, I was alien to them (alien not in a legal sense, but social). That's why my relationships with US women didn't progress into something meaningful. In the eyes of Russian women I'm not really a foreign man from a Western country, but a local emigrant, who after over two decades became an immigrant and is not yet in a possession of local passport. So my interaction with Russian women might be totally different from yours. Let alone that in Soviet school back in 80's I used to have higher grades in Russian language and literature than most other pupils had in our class. So how is my story could be helpful here? Interesting, but irrelevant.

I think for "most" guys that go to the FSU they realize it isn't a cheap endeavor. Certainly nobody wants to spend more money than they need. The lifestyles of the various members and posters here are all over the scale and so too, it is reflected in how much they'll spend per visit. Personally I spared no expense on any of my trips and I treated each of them as though it was my last. I had no hesitation of spending whatever I needed to have a safe, pleasant  and enjoyable time. Sometimes for a 2 week trip that was only $1K in pocket cash and sometimes that was $3K. Of course I always had credit if needed but, that's not so much an option in Russia anymore.

There is basic needs as in food, shelter and transportation for the foreigner. That comes at a basic cost. Some guys subside on that others, need a better time and more extravagance.  On the relocation of my wife from her home in Russia to here and a good summation of all costs in say, the first 2 years of acclimation I would say $30K was easily the low side. I spent $20-$25K in trips while we dated. That's $55K on the low side and doesn't include the big ticket items after that first 2 years. Certainly I could have done it cheaper but what I did do wasn't extravagant.

papa, whether you believe it or not, there are probably some other guys who have a situation that mirrors yours. It's not unusual for that to happen. It would be quite unusual for it not to. But hey, keep your cards close to your chest if that floats your boat. Total or any personal disclosure is completely optional.

Welcome to RWD  :welcome:

Offline vwrw

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #103 on: July 22, 2016, 06:02:18 AM »
So your past failures were the result of you looking for the wrong thing.


I would say his past failures were the result of him attributing his failures to wrong causes.
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Offline papakota

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #104 on: July 22, 2016, 06:18:01 AM »
On this forum, very few people could be expected to make a reference to pishiq in Turkic language to decipher your nickname even if they used their imagination.
Do you speak English? I didn't say that. I just mentioned it as an example for a language that is totally different from English. I'm not gonna waste my time on this silly argument.
« Last Edit: July 22, 2016, 06:32:12 AM by papakota »

Offline papakota

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #105 on: July 22, 2016, 06:23:07 AM »

Although your empty pockets might play a role in alienating  AW, I doubt it was the major thing. In 40% of the US households, women earn more money than men do and the house husband phenomenon is becoming more frequent in the US. So there are many AW who could consider getting involved with a not bread winner guy. Yet your attitude that is reflected  in the structure of  opinions would be very annoying to them.
You DO NOT know me, so stop expressing your opinion that's not worth much to begin with. Most women I dated in the US were poor/below average people. Again, there were lots of reasons (incl. my health issues), but who cares now? It's been over a decade.

Offline papakota

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #106 on: July 22, 2016, 06:28:31 AM »
I understood papakota's moniker without his explanation, and I don't speak any Turkic language. Papa is rather universal.

I disagree that there is no FSU mentality. Further, papakota, there are tens of millions of dating age AW. Not all of them smoke, drink, care about sports,  or celebrity culture. So your past failures were the result of you looking for the wrong thing.

Who said anything about a Turkic language? It's Russian and English. Re-read what I wrote.

You have a right to disagree. So what? You have to prove what you say. Otherwise, it's not worth much.
My past failures were a mixture of lot of things. But my opinion is that if I were established in the US, my chances there would've been very different.

Offline vwrw

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #107 on: July 22, 2016, 06:46:37 AM »
Again, there were lots of reasons (incl. my health issues), ....


I can agree with that....I communicated with you for a very short time; but nevertheless, you have managed to show  your rather nasty demeanor. Get well!
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Offline Boethius

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #108 on: July 22, 2016, 07:18:22 AM »
Who said anything about a Turkic language? It's Russian and English. Re-read what I wrote.

You have a right to disagree. So what? You have to prove what you say. Otherwise, it's not worth much.
My past failures were a mixture of lot of things. But my opinion is that if I were established in the US, my chances there would've been very different.

Re Turkic-see replies 97 and 99.

No, your chances were about you, not the women.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline papakota

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #109 on: July 22, 2016, 07:51:08 AM »

I can agree with that....I communicated with you for a very short time; but nevertheless, you have managed to show  your rather nasty demeanor. Get well!

As they say in Russian - Что посеешь, то и пожнешь. Don't personally attack strangers online, then you won't be put in your place. I didn't come here to listen to nobody criticizing my love life and my character.

Offline Slumba

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #110 on: July 22, 2016, 11:14:10 AM »
I understand where papakota is coming from, in a way ...

Much of American dating takes place via consumption. 

Go to even a less expensive restaurant - $30 with taxes and tip, before drinks. 

Go see a movie - $20 for 2 tickets.  Right there is $50 without any sort of transportation... and in reality, that is bare-bones for regular dating.

Conversation is likely to be shallow; if deeper, it will involve the girl challenging you to prove your worth to her; she will try to figure out how much you make each year.

When I was getting to know "L" in Russia we did the following over 3 dates:

1. Met for tea at a cafe. I offered repeatedly to get her some food, she would only have a bit of cheese from the cheese plate I ordered (we shared). I made sure to handle refilling her teacup ))

2. Walked (she loved to walk) and went to the city park, where we went on the ancient USSR-era Ferris Wheel, complete with the automated wheel - but with babushka there to make sure you handed in your ticket!

3. Walked in a different city park, sat on a park bench.

I couldn't get her to go anywhere with me that cost much money. Maybe that is an anomaly,  I am not sure...

While I kept the conversation somewhat light, there were more serious moments. And, she read books other than "Twilight" and "50 Shades".  Money never came up in the conversation, from what I can recall.

James Thurber:  "American women are like American universities: they have dull, half-dead faculties."
Me gusta ir de compras con mi tarjeta verde...

Offline BillyB

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #111 on: July 22, 2016, 11:21:58 AM »

No money, no honey. Not all women need to eat at 5 star restaurants though. I've dated dozens of FSU women living in America. I take them to restaurants that may end up costing me $30-$40 and then I'd take them for a walk in a park or somewhere else nice. Most girls enjoy it enough to give me more dates. Some girls may not enjoy it. Had one girl from Belarus tell me she doesn't want a serious relationship but needs financial help for college. She made a proposal for me to give her the money I'd spend dating her in exchange for sex. She didn't consider me marriage material but would consider me as a friend with benefits.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Hammer2722

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #112 on: July 22, 2016, 11:25:36 AM »
No money, no honey. Not all women need to eat at 5 star restaurants though. I've dated dozens of FSU women living in America. I take them to restaurants that may end up costing me $30-$40 and then I'd take them for a walk in a park or somewhere else nice. Most girls enjoy it enough to give me more dates. Some girls may not enjoy it. Had one girl from Belarus tell me she doesn't want a serious relationship but needs financial help for college. She made a proposal for me to give her the money I'd spend dating her in exchange for sex. She didn't consider me marriage material but would consider me as a friend with benefits.

That right there seems to me the very definition of a prostitute.....LOL
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Offline Boethius

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #113 on: July 22, 2016, 04:25:25 PM »
I understand where papakota is coming from, in a way ...

Much of American dating takes place via consumption. 

Go to even a less expensive restaurant - $30 with taxes and tip, before drinks. 

Go see a movie - $20 for 2 tickets.  Right there is $50 without any sort of transportation... and in reality, that is bare-bones for regular dating.

Conversation is likely to be shallow; if deeper, it will involve the girl challenging you to prove your worth to her; she will try to figure out how much you make each year.

When I was getting to know "L" in Russia we did the following over 3 dates:

1. Met for tea at a cafe. I offered repeatedly to get her some food, she would only have a bit of cheese from the cheese plate I ordered (we shared). I made sure to handle refilling her teacup ))

2. Walked (she loved to walk) and went to the city park, where we went on the ancient USSR-era Ferris Wheel, complete with the automated wheel - but with babushka there to make sure you handed in your ticket!

3. Walked in a different city park, sat on a park bench.

I couldn't get her to go anywhere with me that cost much money. Maybe that is an anomaly,  I am not sure...

While I kept the conversation somewhat light, there were more serious moments. And, she read books other than "Twilight" and "50 Shades".  Money never came up in the conversation, from what I can recall.

James Thurber:  "American women are like American universities: they have dull, half-dead faculties."


I believe your dating experiences in the US reflect your age.  If you are through school, most women are going to want to know what you do.  It does not necessarily mean they are trying to gauge your income level.

What makes you think Russians are better read than Americans?  Have you ever considered it is where you are looking?

BTW, I believe your Thurber quote is inaccurate.  That is attributed to Edward Albee, who stated
"American critics are like American universities.  They both have dull and half-dead faculties."
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline Slumba

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #114 on: July 22, 2016, 04:42:09 PM »

I believe your dating experiences in the US reflect your age.  If you are through school, most women are going to want to know what you do.  It does not necessarily mean they are trying to gauge your income level.

What makes you think Russians are better read than Americans?  Have you ever considered it is where you are looking?

BTW, I believe your Thurber quote is inaccurate.  That is attributed to Edward Albee, who stated
"American critics are like American universities.  They both have dull and half-dead faculties."

I don't claim my experience is universal, just my personal anecdotes and observations. 

It seems that Thurber is credited with some versions of the quote, Albee with others. e.g. a published book has Thurber saying "American students are like American colleges. Both have half-dead faculties."   

Which is not exactly the same quote as either of us quoted.

http://books.google.com/books?id=ANv-5xpfa-kC&pg=PT225&lpg=PT225&dq=james+thurber
+full+half+dead&source=bl&ots=dC7T_bR_6V&sig=lHuiiQLjFjFzigb2xIUlrir6PTs&hl
=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiyzarfnojOAhVj64MKHRgaA-wQ6AEINTAD#v=onepage&q=james%20thurber%20full
%20half%20dead&f=false

(sorry for the crazy link).
« Last Edit: July 22, 2016, 04:46:35 PM by AnonMod »
Me gusta ir de compras con mi tarjeta verde...

Offline Boethius

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #115 on: July 22, 2016, 04:44:59 PM »
Your link will have to be divided, as it changes the reading pane. 


Here is a link to the Albee quote, and the link will also have to be changed -

http://books.google.ca/books?id=h4qDCgAAQBAJ&pg=PT447&lpg
=PT447&dq=american+critics+are+like+American+universities.
+They+both+have+dull+and+half-dead+faculties.&source
=bl&ots=mkIyku_eJq&sig
=jISE5nJTzh6k9VaLWaAfSJS0Cu8&hl
=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiq0IT
_n4jOAhUk8IMKHdXPDtUQ6AEIMjAE#v
=onepage&q=
american%20critics%20are%20like%20American%20universities.
%20They%20both%20have%20dull%20and%20half-dead%20faculties.&f=false
« Last Edit: July 22, 2016, 04:48:25 PM by AnonMod »
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Offline ML

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #116 on: July 22, 2016, 07:56:34 PM »
That right there seems to me the very definition of a prostitute.....LOL

But it is a very pleasant type of prostitution.

When I was a young US Navy man, it was nice the way Japanese bar gals plied their trade.

They asked for no money up front or even when you were in bed with them.  But in the morning, they would softly mention how they needed X amount of Yen to get a dress from the dry cleaners, buy some food, pay for rent, etc.

Made you feel almost like a 'regular' boyfriend.
Particularly naive teenage boys just off the farm.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline BillyB

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #117 on: July 22, 2016, 11:08:29 PM »
But it is a very pleasant type of prostitution.

When I was a young US Navy man, it was nice the way Japanese bar gals plied their trade.

They asked for no money up front or even when you were in bed with them.  But in the morning, they would softly mention how they needed X amount of Yen to get a dress from the dry cleaners, buy some food, pay for rent, etc.

Made you feel almost like a 'regular' boyfriend.
Particularly naive teenage boys just off the farm.

You were a naïve young sailor. After sex with Japanese girls you're supposed to softly mention that you need x amount of dollars to dry clean your uniform and to buy some food.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline BC

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #118 on: July 23, 2016, 01:08:10 AM »
Back a bit more on topic, I think that financial problems may play a bigger role in WM FSUW marriages than in marriages with domestic partners. http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=8660.0

Not because FSUW have more interest in money than domestic partners, but that the initial outlays by WM are huge in comparison to local dating, maybe even going into debt to support the venture.

Better to budget more of your savings for the venture and not spend it all than start a marriage that is drowning in debt.

If you don't have enough expendable savings in the bank, don't go.  Layaway doesn't work.

 
« Last Edit: July 23, 2016, 07:23:18 AM by BC »

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #119 on: July 23, 2016, 05:00:38 AM »
Back a bit more on topic, I think that financial problems may play a bigger role in WM FSUW marriages than in marriages with domestic partners. http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=8660.0

Not because FSUW have more interest in money than domestic partners, but that the initial outlays by WM are huge in comparison to local dating, maybe even going into debt to support the venture.

Better to budget more of your savings for the venture and not spend it all than start a marriage that is drowning in debt.

If you don't have enough expendable savings in the ban, don't go.  Layaway doesn't work.

 

That is an excellent point. I would strongly advise to not go into debt to seek a foreign mate. Such as say borrowing money to finance it or use up your credit cards. The reason I say that is, it is never a sure thing and would make an unwise investment. If you don't already have the money or can handle the expenses already out of pocket. Save the money. If you can't save the money forget the idea. Once you are successful the expenses are never ending. It will take a considerable amount of time before she can contribute if she does at all.

If you don't have the money or can't save the money, chances are you can't pay the money back no matter the outcome.

Offline vwrw

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #120 on: July 23, 2016, 07:05:58 AM »
Back a bit more on topic, I think that financial problems may play a bigger role in WM FSUW marriages than in marriages with domestic partners. http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=8660.0

Not because FSUW have more interest in money than domestic partners, but that the initial outlays by WM are huge in comparison to local dating, maybe even going into debt to support the venture.

Better to budget more of your savings for the venture and not spend it all than start a marriage that is drowning in debt.

If you don't have enough expendable savings in the ban, don't go.  Layaway doesn't work.

 


Analyzing my own relationship and those of other RW and AM that I know, I would say that "not enough money" is a lesser problem than "arguments over money" or how money to be spent . Luckily for us, I and Ray have identical financial priorities, we did not have arguments over money when we had little of it, nor do we have them now.  Even if people have more than enough money, problem will arise if one wants to buy a fancy car or a new gun for the collection and another wants to invest, lets say,  to finance a child's education. These couple will resent each other even if they have discretionary financial resources.


We have a couple in our friends circle  where the man makes $300 a week and the women does not work at all. They are on a very tight budget, but it is not a problem for them because their financial priorities are identical. They both do not want to sacrifice their freedom to earn more and when they have money for discretionary spending, they want the same things.   


Ensuring similarity of financial priorities and values is paramount for people who want to get married.  The problem is that sometimes people are afraid to be honest about their financial priorities because they do not want to lose their new partners. Once it is established that financial priorities are similar, the next step is to make sure the partner has correct expectations about the future life style they would be able to afford. Some women can be alright with the fact that their men do not make much money. We have one couple in our circle wherein she has limited English, works 12 hours 6 days  a week, pays all the bills.  They are married 5 years or so and she is not planning to divorce him. She is used to having him in her life and she does not want to live alone.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2016, 07:09:37 AM by vwrw »
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Offline Turboguy

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #121 on: July 23, 2016, 08:05:57 AM »
Nice post and good points VWRW.  Reading your post made me curious about the idea would the divorce rate be higher for low income couples vs high income couples.  I did a bit of quick research and found some interesting things.  The divorce rate has been dropping and the old rule that half of all marriages end in divorce is no longer true.  It is now about 40%.  People marrying later in life have a much lower rate of divorce than those who marry in their early 20's  It is lower also for college educated people and the correlation with a higher rate for lower income people is somewhat influenced by a very high rate of divorce among minority women marrying in the teens.  The income doesn't seem to be as much a factor as age of marriage and education. According to what I read the commitment to a marriage does not seem to be different for various income levels. 


I do think similar financial goals are an important part of an enduring marriage.  Money, sex and children are probably the largest cause of divorce.  Not that a child causes problems but when it is from a different marriage it can put a strain on the relationship as both may have different parenting ideas.   


I do think when it comes to marriages between FSU women and AM that sometimes the differences in the way money works can lead to disappointment for the woman.   A woman in Ukraine knowing that the guy she is interested in learns 40 grand a year could easily think that the guy is rich since in Ukraine that would be a big income where here it is at best average.  It could lead her to have expectations that were not realistic and for her to be disappointed with the realities of her life.



Offline jone

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #122 on: July 23, 2016, 08:28:04 AM »
Some women can be alright with the fact that their men do not make much money. We have one couple in our circle wherein she has limited English, works 12 hours 6 days  a week, pays all the bills.  They are married 5 years or so and she is not planning to divorce him. She is used to having him in her life and she does not want to live alone.

Well, if she ever does, let me know.  It would be a great sacrifice on my part, but I would grudgingly take his place.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #123 on: July 23, 2016, 10:56:52 AM »
I hear about all the costs involved.  If you invested the same amount of money, time and energy into yourself wouldn't you be able to find a great American gal or Western lady? I mean there are tons of smart, educated and beautiful ladies on match.com and POF.  Money to dress better, money to wine and dine a date in our own locale at an upscale restaurant.

I know many of you already know that. Why the allure of RW women for you then? 

Some guys want to date and marry better than they can stateside - given. (maybe majority of them..us)

I stopped looking for RW when I found awesome gfs here but here I am again...I do ask myself why? It's so much harder, rules are so much different and it is costly. On the whole RW are more slender but then they don't join me in my allegiance to the Boys every Sunday or can we talk about cool 90's Boy Bands. You are restricted.

and come on guys..most of you don't even know the Russian language, history or politics that well.

I'm not attacking anyone. I'm part of that group so I ask myself and I ask you..

Ok, a few years back now, but I think many guys find themselves in this position at some point on here. The trouble to fly out to meet a girl, expense (not too bad for us UK guys perhaps towards £1K all in per trip unless going overboard) short time with the girl, chemistry? scammer? in a position to go with you? etc. Its difficult finding a girl you get on with, get to know her enough for her to take things further and then bring her over. A girl in home nation you could just date all the time, its easier on that front, but here in the UK many girls us guys no longer have access to - the ones that are single are either career driven, into travelling, not interested, no chemistry, obese, or ridiculously unrealistic expectations/materialistic, etc.

I've tried Match & POF and like many guy here in the UK found it a waste of time, girls are inundated with guys pounding the keyboard relentlessly - many girls have dubious reasons for being on there, some are just plain odd bods or fat/ugly - all the mentioned above. I would prefer to take my chances in the FSU than face a stony wall of silence on Match and a dispiriting time. I met 1 girl on there on all the couple of years I was on there and she contacted me, but unfortunately no chemistry -that's a slow return rate. Some other guys I know did far worse with a big fat 0 full stop. Yes I would take FSU dating any day - the realities I have encountered and I'm willing to push on and see my way through these realities and whatever ones I may not be aware of than go with the dire state of the dating situation for men in the UK.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: Investing $50K in you or a dream RW?
« Reply #124 on: July 23, 2016, 02:14:44 PM »
That is an excellent point. I would strongly advise to not go into debt to seek a foreign mate. Such as say borrowing money to finance it or use up your credit cards. The reason I say that is, it is never a sure thing and would make an unwise investment. If you don't already have the money or can handle the expenses already out of pocket. Save the money. If you can't save the money forget the idea. Once you are successful the expenses are never ending. It will take a considerable amount of time before she can contribute if she does at all.

If you don't have the money or can't save the money, chances are you can't pay the money back no matter the outcome.

More excellent points, which leads us back to what I (and others) have posted in the not so distant past:

Although he may not have expressed his reasoning clearly enough for many posters who are knocking his numbers, jone is on the right track with his figure of $100,000 annual income.  To prevent any arguments I would add that this is BEFORE income tax.  When I first joined this forum, more than five years ago, the accepted figure seemed to be $75,000, so a one-third increase in this period is not unreasonable to me.

Just as one example, house prices in Auckland have more than doubled in that time, with the median sale price now over $800,000.  That will buy you a reasonably nice three-bedroom house in an average suburb.  There are now more than 20 suburbs here with a median price over $1 million.  Forget trying to equate that with US prices ($NZ1 = $US 0.70), because the salaries in NZ dollars are fairly similar to yours in US dollars.

While, again, many posters have spouted at length how you can comfortably live on a lot less, I think most are forgetting some important points:

1.  Unless you are very young (which means you shouldn't be doing this for starters), you must own your own home.  Having a mortgage is fine, but why should a woman come from the FSU, where she quite possibly already owns her own home, and find that she has dropped back to the bottom of the property ladder?  It also needs to be a home that your lady will be comfortable living in, so you will need to be very clear about what the home itself (whether a house or apartment), the neighbourhood and your town or city are like.  You can't just do this with photos - they won't tell her if the house is warm in winter, for example, or that there is a high school 50 metres down the road.

2.   Everybody who has posted on this subject in the past has reiterated that, other than having a mortgage (preferably one that doesn't cripple you financially) you CANNOT be in debt (credit cards, hire purchase, etc.) before you start, or you will never get off the debt escalator.

3.  You will need to have tens of thousands of dollars available (in savings of some description) BEFORE you start this journey.  You need to pay for a trip or trips to the FSU; you need to pay thousands more (including visa, travel and possibly shipping costs for her stuff) to get your lady (and possibly her child or children, if any) to your country; you need (probably) to buy her a car, and pay for driving lessons so that she can get a local licence; you may need to pay for English lessons if her language skills need upgrading; you WILL need to pay for her (and the children) to return home every year or two to see family and friends (preferably you will travel with her, thus adding to those costs).

To succeed in all of these, you will have to be on a very good income - it's that simple.  You have to assume (worst case scenario) that she will be unemployed for at least a couple of years after she arrives, no matter what her language and employment skills are like.

If you can't fulfil ALL of these criteria, stop now - or, if you're still determined to try for an FSU wife, look for someone who already permanently lives in your country.  There are many, many, MANY of them around the world - and quite possibly one or more already lives in your street.

There are a lot of interesting posts in that thread, and that is but one of many on the subject.

 

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