Interesting interview with Ukrainian wife in US

[naigalina]

They are not much different from women the world over in that regard. "Most" 20s, 30s somethings+ women are not looking for a 60+ older man. That's not to say that some are not. I'd guess that is exactly what "some" are looking for, for various reasons. Even those, are not looking for the older yet "youthful appearance", fit body for a man in his 60's or his viagra fueled insatisable sexual prowess. "Most" of those likely have ulterior motive. To deny that would seem to be living in a large degree of denial IMHO

I would agree on that. It's not just in Ukraine, it's universal- women are usually not actively looking for men much older then them. And of course the idea of young FSU women available in a snap of a finger has been oversold by the international dating industry over many years. 

The reality is that a young woman can be truly attracted to someone much older then her, only if they share the same views, interests; have physical attraction, emotional connection, and the same long term goals. It's the entire package.
Remember, that physical attraction is part of that mystique chemistry; mutual interests are a key to mental attraction; spiritual connection creates emotional comfort with each other; and combination of all the above leads to love and mutual respect. There are no shortcuts here!
So, as long as you are realistic about yourself and are looking for a loving, caring and reliable woman, instead of some trophy to take back home- you can try to build a relationship with a younger lady. Cases like mine are rather the exception than the rule IMO.

[LAman]

I would agree on that. It's not just in Ukraine, it's universal- women are usually not actively looking for men much older then them. And of course the idea of young FSU women available in a snap of a finger has been oversold by the international dating industry over many years. 

The reality is, that a young woman can be truly attracted to someone much older then her, only if they share the same views, interests; have physical attraction, emotional connection, and the same long term goals. It's the entire package.
Remember, that physical attraction is part of that mystique chemistry; mutual interests are a key to mental attraction; spiritual connection creates emotional comfort with each other; and combination of all the above leads to love and mutual respect. There are no shortcuts here!
So, as long as you are realistic about yourself and are looking for a loving, caring and reliable woman, instead of some trophy to take back home- you can try to build a relationship with a younger lady. Cases like mine are rather the exception than the rule IMO.

That's fine and dandy to bring a couple together......but staying together is different. As people age they change....sometimes it is together , sometimes apart....it is the 'growing' together that determines if you stay married longterm. And that is everyone's intention!!
I don't know anyone that got married knowing they were going to get divorced. So everything is hunkydorry in the beginning...and in time....the change happens...IMHO

[Gator]

That's fine and dandy to bring a couple together......but staying together is different. As people age they change....sometimes it is together , sometimes apart....it is the 'growing' together that determines if you stay married longterm. And that is everyone's intention!!
I don't know anyone that got married knowing they were going to get divorced. So everything is hunkydorry in the beginning...and in time....the change happens...IMHO

Yes, change does happen.  That is a key reason why the divorce rate is 50%.
 
Besides the type of changes you imply, there is an even more dramatic change (two of the three "d's")  - death, sometimes preceded by a long disease.  Thus,  I am  happy for my time on earth and for any time with someone who is a joy, even if it were just an extemporaneous weekend.

Before you think me too casual, I do consider that marriages planning to have babies should have utmost concern about longterm compatibility, alignment of goals, etc.  Bringing a child into this world carries a huge responsibility that endures for 20 years if not more.  Divorce clearly is bad for a child.   There is also the oddity of being 20 years older than other fathers at your kid's social and athletic events, but IMO that would matter little in comparison to being a divorced father.

[Shadow]

I would agree on that. It's not just in Ukraine, it's universal- women are usually not actively looking for men much older then them. And of course the idea of young FSU women available in a snap of a finger has been oversold by the international dating industry over many years. 

The reality is that a young woman can be truly attracted to someone much older then her, only if they share the same views, interests; have physical attraction, emotional connection, and the same long term goals. It's the entire package.
Remember, that physical attraction is part of that mystique chemistry; mutual interests are a key to mental attraction; spiritual connection creates emotional comfort with each other; and combination of all the above leads to love and mutual respect. There are no shortcuts here!
So, as long as you are realistic about yourself and are looking for a loving, caring and reliable woman, instead of some trophy to take back home- you can try to build a relationship with a younger lady. Cases like mine are rather the exception than the rule IMO.

I think that you are right in describing your case as an exception. That is why you found some strong opposition to your case in the first pages, as the OP of this thread is seeking confirmation of the case not being an exception.

We try to give information on the process, and that does include bursting a few bubbles here and there. Your contributions to this could be interesting, but you will be challenged by both your female compatriots and males who became experts after reading the agency websites and a week on the ground.

I am aware that Ukrainian women are usually strong enough to stand their ground, and are used to endure very straight communication. From your initial posts it is clear that you do not wish to react in anger, even if you disagree and that is something not seen often. Many times the knee-jerk reaction seems to be preferred over giving it some time and then giving a thoughtful reply.

[Faux Pas]

I would agree on that. It's not just in Ukraine, it's universal- women are usually not actively looking for men much older then them. And of course the idea of young FSU women available in a snap of a finger has been oversold by the international dating industry over many years. 

No fault of the man or woman but, there is a stigma already attached to FSUW/WM relationships. That stigma is amplified with the larger age disparity. The larger the disparity, the higher the amplification. 

The reality is that a young woman can be truly attracted to someone much older then her, only if they share the same views, interests; have physical attraction, emotional connection, and the same long term goals. It's the entire package.

I agree with this. I am guessing here as I have no direct personal knowledge but, the farther apart the ages, the views/interests carry as much separation as age, as does attraction and emotional connection. They are different. It is difficult for a man to view a woman, as young as his daughter as an equal. It is just as difficult for a woman to view a man as old as her father as anything less than a father figure. There is a generational dynamic that can't be removed. Although, two special people could over come it. IMHO It would seem to me for those two special people, it is yet more pressure on an already pressure packed marriage. Marriage is hard enough, it is even harder when the couple takes on more negatives to the marriage.

Remember, that physical attraction is part of that mystique chemistry; mutual interests are a key to mental attraction; spiritual connection creates emotional comfort with each other; and combination of all the above leads to love and mutual respect. There are no shortcuts here!
So, as long as you are realistic about yourself and are looking for a loving, caring and reliable woman, instead of some trophy to take back home- you can try to build a relationship with a younger lady. Cases like mine are rather the exception than the rule IMO.

I agree whole-heartedly with this. naigalina, in no way am I referring to your marriage specifically. Only the test of time can be the judge of that. Hopefully yours does prove to be the exception and not the rule. However, what we generally witness in the large age gaps is the rule

[TomT]

With each additional decade of age gap, one's dating pool shrinks precipitously and the number of years that must be spent in the search increases. The aged are left to choose between spending their last years with a woman who is a decade or two older than they would prefer or spending them in the search. As Scott Jay once wrote, if she is strong enough to push your wheelchair then everything is fine.
Unfortunately, as FSU women approach their fifties, many become less adaptable to a new [to them] country whether they are strong enough to push your wheelchair or not.

[Fashionista]

I am an infrequent guest, but wow! what a tread 
 
I am kinda curious, have any of you guys ever had dealings, been associated directly or indirectly with advertisement business or any sort of retail?
 
For many years of living in the West I don't remember once an ad on TV saying "Coke... a sugary drink that promotes diabetes", or "Subway... packed with nitrites and good for your tumour" or "Pepsi... when there is no Coke"
 
Maybe in another universe... 

[jone]

I am an infrequent guest, but wow! what a tread 
 
I am kinda curious, have any of you guys ever had dealings, been associated directly or indirectly with advertisement business or any sort of retail?
 
For many years of living in the West I don't remember once an ad on TV saying "Coke... a sugary drink that promotes diabetes", or "Subway... packed with nitrites and good for your tumour" or "Pepsi... when there is no Coke"
 
Maybe in another universe... 

You bring up a VERY GOOD point.  There are nice ways to say things and there are not so nice ways to say things.  Even if we disagree, we should have the ability to say things to each other that are not scathing in content.  I, for one, will endeavor to follow your line of thinking in the future.

[BillyB]

For many years of living in the West I don't remember once an ad on TV saying "Coke... a sugary drink that promotes diabetes", or "Subway... packed with nitrites and good for your tumour" or "Pepsi... when there is no Coke"

Besides that, there are many many other bad things for your health. Too numerous to count. What nobody is telling you is that our life expectancy is going to be better than our forefathers who didn't have all that crap in their diet.

[calmissile]

Besides that, there are many many other bad things for your health. Too numerous to count. What nobody is telling you is that our life expectancy is going to be better than our forefathers who didn't have all that crap in their diet.

The irony is that we are living longer than our forefathers even while eating all the crap (not that I recommend it).

[Shadow]

Besides that, there are many many other bad things for your health. Too numerous to count. What nobody is telling you is that our life expectancy is going to be better than our forefathers who didn't have all that crap in their diet.

Very simple, the crap we eat is full of things that make the food spoil slower. As we get it in our system, we spoil slower as well. Has been the real explanation for the longer life of women already a long time...

[Daveman]

Very simple, the crap we eat is full of things that make the food spoil slower. As we get it in our system, we spoil slower as well. Has been the real explanation for the longer life of women already a long time...

AND the reason why all we western men look so much younger than our actual ages... 

[jazztropy]

I think you'd look even younger if you didn't eat all that stuff.

[Turboguy]

 
I am kinda curious, have any of you guys ever had dealings, been associated directly or indirectly with advertisement business or any sort of retail?
 

With a few of the guys here that thought could be a little scary.  I can see it now.  A big ad saying something like "Buy my widgets.  The are the best widgets in the world.  I know that for a fact because I am smarter than everyone else and those morons who tell you theirs are better are fn idiots and if you buy theirs you are a moron"
I used to spend a big part of my time creating ads for my business so to some extent I was involved in advertising.   

[Muzh]

With a few of the guys here that thought could be a little scary.  I can see it now.  A big ad saying something like "Buy my widgets.  The are the best widgets in the world.  I know that for a fact because I am smarter than everyone else and those morons who tell you theirs are better are fn idiots and if you buy theirs you are a moron"
I used to spend a big part of my time creating ads for my business so to some extent I was involved in advertising.

Finally, someone who got what Fashionista was saying. Or was it?

I really don't know if the topic went over their heads OR they conveniently 'steered' the conversation away from the topic.