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Author Topic: Trench's Questions and Philosophies  (Read 459292 times)

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Offline BillyB

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #225 on: August 04, 2017, 11:38:58 PM »
I don't doubt there is the dumpsk factor where she is and I think she is looking to get out of it. She has kind of reflected this in her messages to me.


Doesn't matter if her city is a dumpsk. A real man would say "I(Trench) am coming to visit you in Dumpskville", buy the tickets and see how good of a hostess she is while you're in town. Trench, you're still learning about this woman and if she makes things too difficult, you need to move on. Keep in mind, if you're projecting yourself to be a less than desirable catch, women aren't going to bend over backwards to please you. If you are in the top 10% of men, women would be thrilled to be with you and are much less likely to say or do anything to upset you. If you're lower on the totem pole compared to other men, the ladies will shit on you more often.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #226 on: August 05, 2017, 02:26:03 AM »
Essentially I might as well keep her in the frame for the time being, I don't want another re-attempt this year.

Just how stupid are you?  Really?  Sure, don't "re-attempt" this year - but don't waste one more second of your existence on this girl.

If you have no intention to build a relationship with her, drop her.  It's unfair to her.

Forget about it being unfair to the girl - it's unfair to us to have to put up with this continuous crap!  Trenchcoat has raised the same half dozen red flags in just about every post concerning this girl (I refuse to call her a woman, because that would imply that she has some maturity), and admits that her behaviour is full of red flags, and yet he STILL fantasizes about her possibly being the future love of his life.

I would get moderated off the board if I posted what I really think, as I'm sure would several others, but his behaviour is beyond insane.  There's just one excuse after another, EVERY DAY, for a girl who exhibits the standard traits of any twenty-something who's just out for the best time that she can have, with the least inconvenience to her real life.  I don't know (or care) if she has a boyfriend or husband back home, or if there's some other reason why she doesn't want Trenchcoat to see her home town, but you wouldn't put up with this from a local girl - why on earth would you do so for someone who lives in another country?

Offline Nightwish

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #227 on: August 05, 2017, 03:00:38 AM »
Just how stupid are you?  Really? Sure, don't "re-attempt" this year - but don't waste one more second of your existence on this girl.

Forget about it being unfair to the girl - it's unfair to us to have to put up with this continuous crap!  Trenchcoat has raised the same half dozen red flags in just about every post concerning this girl (I refuse to call her a woman, because that would imply that she has some maturity), and admits that her behaviour is full of red flags, and yet he STILL fantasizes about her possibly being the future love of his life.

I would get moderated off the board if I posted what I really think, as I'm sure would several others, but his behaviour is beyond insane.  There's just one excuse after another, EVERY DAY, for a girl who exhibits the standard traits of any twenty-something who's just out for the best time that she can have, with the least inconvenience to her real life.  I don't know (or care) if she has a boyfriend or husband back home, or if there's some other reason why she doesn't want Trenchcoat to see her home town, but you wouldn't put up with this from a local girl - why on earth would you do so for someone who lives in another country?

Trenchie was allowed to put his penis in her, so now every time he thinks of her or speaks with her, he gets a full boner and only thinks with the little head.  I have some suspicion this was the first girl ever letting him getting to that part, so no there is no logic involved, only a cheap mind and a full blown boner doing the thinking.
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Offline ML

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #228 on: August 05, 2017, 07:46:56 AM »
full blown boner . . .

Certainly better than partially blown.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #229 on: August 05, 2017, 10:56:31 AM »
Essentially I might as well keep her in the frame for the time being,

Attention Newbies, Trench is making a classical mistake read this
post to ensure you don't do the same.



Wrong, wrong, wrong.

You have time, money and emotions tied up with a girl who isn't
the future Mrs Trench, so you rationalize stringing the relationship
along wasting both of your time, primarily because she looks good
and likes a nice pony ride, which I am a fan of as well, who doesn't
enjoy pony rides? 

BUT, you are doing both of yourselves a disservice.

That girl is seeking a future mate and you are keeping her away from
finding him. Likewise there is the future Mrs Trench out there walking
around completely oblivious that you exist. Once you discover that a
girl isn't the future Mrs_____________ (your name here) dump her
immediately and work at trying to find the future Mrs_____________
(your name here)

That's my advice and philosophy about that. You could argue but you
would be wrong.
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline Boethius

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #230 on: August 05, 2017, 10:56:52 AM »
JForget about it being unfair to the girl - it's unfair to us to have to put up with this continuous crap!  Trenchcoat has raised the same half dozen red flags in just about every post concerning this girl (I refuse to call her a woman, because that would imply that she has some maturity), and admits that her behaviour is full of red flags, and yet he STILL fantasizes about her possibly being the future love of his life.

I don't know if I'd call them red flags.  I think they just demonstrate a particular mindset. 

The problem with many WM is they look for, even seek "red flags".  Don't go fishing in a poor country.  Then you won't have to worry about red flags.
« Last Edit: August 05, 2017, 12:38:07 PM by Boethius »
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #231 on: August 05, 2017, 10:57:19 AM »
Essentially I might as well keep her in the frame for the time being,

If you have no intention to build a relationship with her, drop her.  It's unfair to her.

Just how stupid are you?  Really?  Sure, don't "re-attempt" this year - but don't waste one more second of your existence on this girl.


Attention Newbies, Trench is making a classical mistake read this
post to ensure you don't do the same.


Advice to Trench who won't follow and for Newbies who might

You have time, money and emotions tied up with a girl who isn't
the future Mrs Trench, so you rationalize stringing the relationship
along wasting both of your time, primarily because she looks good
and likes a nice pony ride, which I am a fan of as well, who doesn't
enjoy pony rides? 

BUT, you are doing both of yourselves a disservice.

That girl is seeking a future mate and you are keeping her away from
finding him. Likewise there is the future Mrs Trench out there walking
around completely oblivious that you exist. Once you discover that a
girl isn't the future Mrs_____________ (your name here) dump her
immediately and work at trying to find the future Mrs_____________
(your name here)

That's my advice and philosophy about that. You could argue but you
would be wrong.
« Last Edit: August 05, 2017, 11:13:36 AM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline Boethius

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #232 on: August 05, 2017, 11:52:32 AM »
Most of you don't know how desperate things are in some parts of Ukraine.  The country is now awash in guns.  An acquaintance goes back to her small town in Western Ukraine every year, to visit her children and grandchildren.  She said that now (past two years), she is followed everywhere.  In the past, as someone with access to cash, she was bothered by drunkards and criminals, now, it has stretched to beyond that.

One of our neighbours went to her cousin's wedding in Ukraine.  There were six Canadians there.  The groom held them hostage at gunpoint, and stole their cash and credit cards.  They were being held hostage in a barn.  There was a shoot out with police.  Thankfully, no one was injured and, instead of enjoying his wedding night, the groom was arrested.

Recently, a Ukrainian was arrested in Italy.  He was an officer in the army, and shot an Italian journalist near the front (Ukrainian zone).  The reason?  To steal his camera and related equipment.  A female French journalist was spared because she didn't have anything to steal.  The Italians investigated, as the Ukrainian army didn't care.  Italy tried to have him extradited but again, Ukraine didn't care.  So, Italian investigators lured him to Italy.  This just demonstrates the cynicism in Ukraine today.  Life there is cheap.

Kherson is a small city not far from the war zone.  It was a dump during Soviet times, and no doubt is a dump now.  There are no jobs.  There is one long main street.  Go blocks from the city, and goats and chickens are running around.  So, a girl brings a foreigner and shows him around.  He leaves, and she still has to deal with all of those who believe she has money/goods.  Open season on her, including from the police.  She doesn't want to be somewhere where she has to worry about who comes to her door in the middle of the night.  From this perspective, asking to see England, and a "normal" life, makes sense.  Trench, you go home.  She stays there.

Our family has had shakedowns in the past because of receiving money.  This was before WU and moneygram, when Meest delivered money to the door, and it was never more than $200.  Now, at the relatives' request, we send only very small amounts, as we've been told "you don't know who will follow you home".  And this is in Kyiv, not some small city near some current Ukrainian hotspots.

Bigger cities are much safer, and foreigners, generally, are safe because they are a source of revenue.  But they are not immune, as the stories above demonstrate.

Trench, your paranoia won't end.  It will only grow.  You probably have the same paranoia with WW. 
« Last Edit: August 05, 2017, 12:01:20 PM by Boethius »
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #233 on: August 05, 2017, 12:46:08 PM »
Certainly better than partially blown.

For those of you who are single and don't know what partially
blown is, all you need is a beautiful wife and a two year old
child to find out.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #234 on: August 05, 2017, 01:33:20 PM »
I don't know if I'd call them red flags.  I think they just demonstrate a particular mindset. 

The problem with many WM is they look for, even seek "red flags".  Don't go fishing in a poor country.  Then you won't have to worry about red flags.

We don't have a choice, if we could get women in our home country (or at least one we wanted) or even a reasonably wealthy country we would be doing it. Russia for example may be a better bet though its only a bit more prosperous than Ukraine and that probably depends if you are in one of the big touristy cities as well. There are few easy choices in life so even fishing in a poor country can reap better rewards than trying at home. Its just a case of getting stuck in, learning along the way and doing what you can I think.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Boethius

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #235 on: August 05, 2017, 01:38:44 PM »
I'm calling BS on not having a choice.  Whenever I see that, I know a man is either lying (largely to himself) or delusional.  So, which is it?
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #236 on: August 05, 2017, 01:45:13 PM »

Attention Newbies, Trench is making a classical mistake read this
post to ensure you don't do the same.


Advice to Trench who won't follow and for Newbies who might

You have time, money and emotions tied up with a girl who isn't
the future Mrs Trench, so you rationalize stringing the relationship
along wasting both of your time, primarily because she looks good
and likes a nice pony ride, which I am a fan of as well, who doesn't
enjoy pony rides? 

BUT, you are doing both of yourselves a disservice.

That girl is seeking a future mate and you are keeping her away from
finding him. Likewise there is the future Mrs Trench out there walking
around completely oblivious that you exist. Once you discover that a
girl isn't the future Mrs_____________ (your name here) dump her
immediately and work at trying to find the future Mrs_____________
(your name here)

That's my advice and philosophy about that. You could argue but you
would be wrong.

Generally I agree, though it is not the case here, guys wanting just sex & girls out to scam waste each others time all the time when they could be finding Mr or Mrs Right. I care about the girl and if she made some compromise then things could work out. I did see her as a Mrs Trench but there is this obstacle she has brought into the relationship. She may not be sincere and I will no doubt find that out if so. From my point of view I need to replenish money, sort out my life in terms of making sure I can offer a girl a good level of stability/provide for her. I also want to approach this venture with a new method, for me the messaging girls from a distance over Skype, etc is just not for me. I don't want to waste endless hours of my precious time writing messages to women that might be a fruitless cause to me I see it as a mugs game. I want to be down there on the street in girls home city calling them up there and then. Then as soon as I find one get into a domestic situation with her and have a 'real relationship'. Rather than wondering if a girl just put on an act for a week to get what she can out of me. Whether my girl did that I don't know, I do know when I will be back in the game roughly if she doesn't come around. If her time is being wasted as a result then its her fault for not having sincere intentions in the first place.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Boethius

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #237 on: August 05, 2017, 01:52:40 PM »
If her time is being wasted as a result then its her fault for not having sincere intentions in the first place.


You don't know if she doesn't have sincere intentions.  You're guessing at that.  So, Bill is right.


Tell her that you doubt her sincerity because she doesn't want you to go to Kherson.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #238 on: August 05, 2017, 02:01:27 PM »
Most of you don't know how desperate things are in some parts of Ukraine.  The country is now awash in guns.  An acquaintance goes back to her small town in Western Ukraine every year, to visit her children and grandchildren.  She said that now (past two years), she is followed everywhere.  In the past, as someone with access to cash, she was bothered by drunkards and criminals, now, it has stretched to beyond that.

One of our neighbours went to her cousin's wedding in Ukraine.  There were six Canadians there.  The groom held them hostage at gunpoint, and stole their cash and credit cards.  They were being held hostage in a barn.  There was a shoot out with police.  Thankfully, no one was injured and, instead of enjoying his wedding night, the groom was arrested.

Recently, a Ukrainian was arrested in Italy.  He was an officer in the army, and shot an Italian journalist near the front (Ukrainian zone).  The reason?  To steal his camera and related equipment.  A female French journalist was spared because she didn't have anything to steal.  The Italians investigated, as the Ukrainian army didn't care.  Italy tried to have him extradited but again, Ukraine didn't care.  So, Italian investigators lured him to Italy.  This just demonstrates the cynicism in Ukraine today.  Life there is cheap.

Kherson is a small city not far from the war zone.  It was a dump during Soviet times, and no doubt is a dump now.  There are no jobs.  There is one long main street.  Go blocks from the city, and goats and chickens are running around.  So, a girl brings a foreigner and shows him around.  He leaves, and she still has to deal with all of those who believe she has money/goods.  Open season on her, including from the police.  She doesn't want to be somewhere where she has to worry about who comes to her door in the middle of the night.  From this perspective, asking to see England, and a "normal" life, makes sense.  Trench, you go home.  She stays there.

Our family has had shakedowns in the past because of receiving money.  This was before WU and moneygram, when Meest delivered money to the door, and it was never more than $200.  Now, at the relatives' request, we send only very small amounts, as we've been told "you don't know who will follow you home".  And this is in Kyiv, not some small city near some current Ukrainian hotspots.

Bigger cities are much safer, and foreigners, generally, are safe because they are a source of revenue.  But they are not immune, as the stories above demonstrate.

Trench, your paranoia won't end.  It will only grow.  You probably have the same paranoia with WW.

Thank you for that Boethius, above stories are truly shocking and I often find myself underestimating how dirt poor and poverty stricken many Ukrainians are. The little of this I have come into contact with surprises me. Yes hearing stories like this demonstrate the general issue of dating in Ukraine as there are a lot of people after easy money. I think this type of character in the stories you've stated find there way frequently across the Ukrainian dating scene. It’s why I question if I will spend much time there in future or in another FSU country.

I've got a pretty good idea what Kherson is like and it being a bit of a dump. It doesn't bother me, I've been to rough areas in UK and know the scene. When I choose to I can merge into the background quite well. I could understand her not wanting me to be in Kherson if this is the reason but she hasn't really offered up a reason at all when I question her. She either doesn't get back to me on it, talks of something else or (normally) goes back onto the UK visa thing. She won't even accept a compromise of another EU country with a decent economy as an short-medium term solution while we get to know each other in a domestic setting.

"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #239 on: August 05, 2017, 02:03:28 PM »
I'm calling BS on not having a choice.  Whenever I see that, I know a man is either lying (largely to himself) or delusional.  So, which is it?

Ok, there are the fat chicks but they are the ultimate turn off, it might as well be a bloke your trying to get with that's how most heterosexual males feel about fat chicks.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Boethius

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #240 on: August 05, 2017, 02:05:05 PM »
Not every woman in the UK is fat, and certainly not all young women.


If all you can attract is fat women, then the problem is you, not the women.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline jone

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #241 on: August 05, 2017, 03:24:15 PM »
Most of you don't know how desperate things are in some parts of Ukraine.  The country is now awash in guns.  An acquaintance goes back to her small town in Western Ukraine every year, to visit her children and grandchildren.  She said that now (past two years), she is followed everywhere.  In the past, as someone with access to cash, she was bothered by drunkards and criminals, now, it has stretched to beyond that.

One of our neighbours went to her cousin's wedding in Ukraine.  There were six Canadians there.  The groom held them hostage at gunpoint, and stole their cash and credit cards.  They were being held hostage in a barn.  There was a shoot out with police.  Thankfully, no one was injured and, instead of enjoying his wedding night, the groom was arrested.

Recently, a Ukrainian was arrested in Italy.  He was an officer in the army, and shot an Italian journalist near the front (Ukrainian zone).  The reason?  To steal his camera and related equipment.  A female French journalist was spared because she didn't have anything to steal.  The Italians investigated, as the Ukrainian army didn't care.  Italy tried to have him extradited but again, Ukraine didn't care.  So, Italian investigators lured him to Italy.  This just demonstrates the cynicism in Ukraine today.  Life there is cheap.

Kherson is a small city not far from the war zone.  It was a dump during Soviet times, and no doubt is a dump now.  There are no jobs.  There is one long main street.  Go blocks from the city, and goats and chickens are running around.  So, a girl brings a foreigner and shows him around.  He leaves, and she still has to deal with all of those who believe she has money/goods.  Open season on her, including from the police.  She doesn't want to be somewhere where she has to worry about who comes to her door in the middle of the night.  From this perspective, asking to see England, and a "normal" life, makes sense.  Trench, you go home.  She stays there.

Our family has had shakedowns in the past because of receiving money.  This was before WU and moneygram, when Meest delivered money to the door, and it was never more than $200.  Now, at the relatives' request, we send only very small amounts, as we've been told "you don't know who will follow you home".  And this is in Kyiv, not some small city near some current Ukrainian hotspots.

Bigger cities are much safer, and foreigners, generally, are safe because they are a source of revenue.  But they are not immune, as the stories above demonstrate.

Trench, your paranoia won't end.  It will only grow.  You probably have the same paranoia with WW.

Kherson is not a dump, at least not all of it.  Fabrika is a major, regional shopping center that attracts both tourists and high-end shoppers.  It is located in, you guessed it, Kherson.

http://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g303931-d8552263-Reviews-Fabrika-Kherson_Kherson_Oblast.html

When I lived in Mykolaiv for a month, a couple of years back, I traveled to Fabrika to do some really nice shopping.  It is not fair to describe Kherson in such polarizing terms.  Kherson was the lynch pin for travelers going to Krim from other parts of Ukraine, and I am sure, since the Russian takeover, things have diminished.  But like any Ukrainian city, it does have its high points.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #242 on: August 05, 2017, 03:53:29 PM »
Not every woman in the UK is fat, and certainly not all young women.


If all you can attract is fat women, then the problem is you, not the women.

Not all, but many, some research reports up to around 40 percent. Off the non-fatties competition among men are fierce for them.
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Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #243 on: August 05, 2017, 05:12:35 PM »
...I care about the girl and if she made some compromise then things could work out...

Why??????  As I wrote above, you complain about her EVERY DAY, and keep on about the things she has done which you don't like.  What on earth is wrong with you?

...From my point of view I need to replenish money, sort out my life in terms of making sure I can offer a girl a good level of stability/provide for her. I also want to approach this venture with a new method, for me the messaging girls from a distance over Skype, etc is just not for me. I don't want to waste endless hours of my precious time writing messages to women that might be a fruitless cause to me I see it as a mugs game. I want to be down there on the street in girls home city calling them up there and then. Then as soon as I find one get into a domestic situation with her and have a 'real relationship'.

This doesn't make any sense at all!  First you say you need to replenish your money, etc.  Then, you don't want to waste any effort writing messages or talking on Skype, all of which takes some precious time, but is FREE.  Instead, you want to fly off to another country and jump feet first into a relationship with someone about whom you don't have the slightest clue because you've picked her up in the street or at a café, and who doesn't even speak your language as their native tongue (leading to endless misunderstandings which, with your mindset, will be totally misconstrued).

Does that sound about right?

Rather than wondering if a girl just put on an act for a week to get what she can out of me. Whether my girl did that I don't know, I do know when I will be back in the game roughly if she doesn't come around. If her time is being wasted as a result then its her fault for not having sincere intentions in the first place.

That's rubbish.  It's your fault for continuing this ridiculous excuse for a "relationship."

To everyone else who's looking at this - I'm guessing that Trenchcoat has put me on "Ignore."  There's no other possible reason for not responding to what I've written, when everyone else is getting answered.  :sad:

Offline Davo

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #244 on: August 05, 2017, 06:12:04 PM »
Hello all.....
Over the last 8 months I've followed this forum, read a majority of starting out, experienced and married. I feel like I know most of the regular members here. 

I've taken it all on board, the pit falls, the red flags, members despair their successes . I've read most of your advice Trench and  I've cheered for you , felt your pain and also shook my head in disbelief, please don't take offence. 

I probably come from a different back ground to you Trench. I'm in my early 40's, I'm a novice to international dating, but I'm quite successful dating locally, from speed dating, online dating and approaching women face to face. I've been in a relationship of some form since my early teens, including a long term marriage with children, that  fell apart almost 3 years. My divorce was finally settled just last week.

While I've only taken the first initial steps in the journey, I'll tell you my story and maybe it will give you a fresh perspective, from an un-clouded mind.

I quite by accident stumbled into this, having no idea about, dating fsuw and really no intention to travel down this road, all I was looking for was an interesting exchange of cultures, basically a pen pal. This is how I portrayed myself on a free dating site . I contacted  several woman my own age, all quite honest and seemingly  genuine. One woman didn't  particularly engage me like the others as she was not on the site as regularly, but she was the first to suggest talking on Skype.

From our first face to face chat, we found we had been through an almost identical situation in our past marriages, we formed an instant friendship and bonded due to this. Over the next following week our friendship progressed, from chatting every couple of days to chatting daily. Although I was only looking for  friendship, this woman intrigued me, she was so  positive, always happy and was very open with her experiences in life, both good and bad. She was everything the typical stereotype of a fsuw was portrayed as. Over time I started developing genuine feelings for her and she did also, but we didn't make this obvious to each other and maintained our relationship on a strict friendship basis. It was enjoyable to talk to a woman and not feel I had to advance our conversation into a dating situation.

Over the following 6 months we chatted daily sometimes up to 12 hours a day, as she was able to message during work. We talked about everything and anything, from our dreams and aspirations, to the chances of life on other planets and every other topic in between. There was never one moment where we were lost for something to say. A conversation would seamlessly merge into many directions, far from our original thoughts.  We shared our lives through many hundreds of pictures, videos and thousands of messages.  We shared our daily activities from simple shopping trips, her amazing cooking, to special moments like birthdays,  family weddings and family  outings. She sent the most amazing, heartfelt birthday wishes to both my children and I. We both expressed our appreciation for the time we gave each other everyday. I would compliment her stunning pictures of herself and it was her that gave me a reality check " its just a picture " and " I'm a simple woman ". I bought her a birthday present, but had some issues with mailing it. Her reply... " l'm not a child, I don't need anything from you, but your friendship. Please don't send me anything" she's not materialistic at all.

Several months ago we finally expressed our true feelings for each other, we both knew we felt this from early on, but didn't want to affect the great friendship we had, for so many months. Our online relationship has gone from strength to strength, over each month that passes, our Skype calls are filled full of non stop laughter and incredibly deep conversations.  I have her in fits of laughter every day at work and her colleagues, thinks she going crazy. We greet each other with lovely messages, every day when we wake and when we go to bed. I realise we have never met and I am realistic, we may not have the same connection when we meet, but by taking our time and really getting to know each other, we have given it the best chance there is to have a successful relationship in the real world, if not we have developed a friendship that will last a lifetime. At this point in time,  It's everything I expected when I read about what a genuine relationship with a fsuw can be.

 I'm planning a holiday to visit her in her home town and it will be anther 3 months until this occurs. The total time we will have corresponded will be 11 months. I might be naive and this may not be the norm of  "get on a plane as soon as you can"  but I'm  glad I didn't follow that advice, this feels for me the right way to progress.

Trench from a complete novice  ( myself ) to someone who has much more experience, the lessons I've learn are this and bare in mind I've only conversed with one amazing woman .....

 Choose someone your own age, you will have much more in common and will be in the same stage in life ( no offence to the guys who have younger wives ).

Don't rush things, I made that mistake in my first  marriage, she was slim and attractive, but we didn't suit each other, we didn't take the time to really know each other, before making a commitment.

There are women out there that don't exhibit any red flags, don't settle for less. Your only concern will be trying to fathom, why the seeming perfect woman is interested in me.

When I meet this woman, as I do locally, I will pay for the regular things a man does, when he's dating, but a genuine woman will never ask for you to spend money on her, she will find happiness in  your company and not material things, from this happiness you won't mind giving gifts to show how much you care for her.   

Lastly, don't over analyze her behaviour or the relationship, you know in your heart when it feels right.

Many of you can probably point out many mistakes in my thought process, I guess I'll find out soon :)





Offline jone

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #245 on: August 05, 2017, 06:25:15 PM »
Hello all.....
Over the last 8 months I've followed this forum, read a majority of starting out, experienced and married. I feel like I know most of the regular members here. 

I've taken it all on board, the pit falls, the red flags, members despair their successes . I've read most of your advice Trench and  I've cheered for you , felt your pain and also shook my head in disbelief, please don't take offence. 

I probably come from a different back ground to you Trench. I'm in my early 40's, I'm a novice to international dating, but I'm quite successful dating locally, from speed dating, online dating and approaching women face to face. I've been in a relationship of some form since my early teens, including a long term marriage with children, that  fell apart almost 3 years. My divorce was finally settled just last week.

While I've only taken the first initial steps in the journey, I'll tell you my story and maybe it will give you a fresh perspective, from an un-clouded mind.

I quite by accident stumbled into this, having no idea about, dating fsuw and really no intention to travel down this road, all I was looking for was an interesting exchange of cultures, basically a pen pal. This is how I portrayed myself on a free dating site . I contacted  several woman my own age, all quite honest and seemingly  genuine. One woman didn't  particularly engage me like the others as she was not on the site as regularly, but she was the first to suggest talking on Skype.

From our first face to face chat, we found we had been through an almost identical situation in our past marriages, we formed an instant friendship and bonded due to this. Over the next following week our friendship progressed, from chatting every couple of days to chatting daily. Although I was only looking for  friendship, this woman intrigued me, she was so  positive, always happy and was very open with her experiences in life, both good and bad. She was everything the typical stereotype of a fsuw was portrayed as. Over time I started developing genuine feelings for her and she did also, but we didn't make this obvious to each other and maintained our relationship on a strict friendship basis. It was enjoyable to talk to a woman and not feel I had to advance our conversation into a dating situation.

Over the following 6 months we chatted daily sometimes up to 12 hours a day, as she was able to message during work. We talked about everything and anything, from our dreams and aspirations, to the chances of life on other planets and every other topic in between. There was never one moment where we were lost for something to say. A conversation would seamlessly merge into many directions, far from our original thoughts.  We shared our lives through many hundreds of pictures, videos and thousands of messages.  We shared our daily activities from simple shopping trips, her amazing cooking, to special moments like birthdays,  family weddings and family  outings. She sent the most amazing, heartfelt birthday wishes to both my children and I. We both expressed our appreciation for the time we gave each other everyday. I would compliment her stunning pictures of herself and it was her that gave me a reality check " its just a picture " and " I'm a simple woman ". I bought her a birthday present, but had some issues with mailing it. Her reply... " l'm not a child, I don't need anything from you, but your friendship. Please don't send me anything" she's not materialistic at all.

Several months ago we finally expressed our true feelings for each other, we both knew we felt this from early on, but didn't want to affect the great friendship we had, for so many months. Our online relationship has gone from strength to strength, over each month that passes, our Skype calls are filled full of non stop laughter and incredibly deep conversations.  I have her in fits of laughter every day at work and her colleagues, thinks she going crazy. We greet each other with lovely messages, every day when we wake and when we go to bed. I realise we have never met and I am realistic, we may not have the same connection when we meet, but by taking our time and really getting to know each other, we have given it the best chance there is to have a successful relationship in the real world, if not we have developed a friendship that will last a lifetime. At this point in time,  It's everything I expected when I read about what a genuine relationship with a fsuw can be.

 I'm planning a holiday to visit her in her home town and it will be anther 3 months until this occurs. The total time we will have corresponded will be 11 months. I might be naive and this may not be the norm of  "get on a plane as soon as you can"  but I'm  glad I didn't follow that advice, this feels for me the right way to progress.

Trench from a complete novice  ( myself ) to someone who has much more experience, the lessons I've learn are this and bare in mind I've only conversed with one amazing woman .....

 Choose someone your own age, you will have much more in common and will be in the same stage in life ( no offence to the guys who have younger wives ).

Don't rush things, I made that mistake in my first  marriage, she was slim and attractive, but we didn't suit each other, we didn't take the time to really know each other, before making a commitment.

There are women out there that don't exhibit any red flags, don't settle for less. Your only concern will be trying to fathom, why the seeming perfect woman is interested in me.

When I meet this woman, as I do locally, I will pay for the regular things a man does, when he's dating, but a genuine woman will never ask for you to spend money on her, she will find happiness in  your company and not material things, from this happiness you won't mind giving gifts to show how much you care for her.   

Lastly, don't over analyze her behaviour or the relationship, you know in your heart when it feels right.

Many of you can probably point out many mistakes in my thought process, I guess I'll find out soon :)

Actually it is quite refreshing.  Welcome to the forum.  Keep us informed.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline Davo

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #246 on: August 05, 2017, 06:51:04 PM »
Thanks jone,
I will update after my trip : )


Offline BillyB

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #247 on: August 05, 2017, 06:54:30 PM »
I'm planning a holiday to visit her in her home town and it will be anther 3 months until this occurs. The total time we will have corresponded will be 11 months. I might be naive and this may not be the norm of  "get on a plane as soon as you can"  but I'm  glad I didn't follow that advice, this feels for me the right way to progress.


I think things will work out well for you Davo when you visit her based on how you two click together. Most regulars would not recommend waiting too long before getting on a plane. We recommend getting on a plane as soon as a guy finds a woman he clicks well with. We seen too many guys get hot and heavy corresponding with a lady for months only to see things end because she got tired the man couldn't make things happen fast enough. You beat the odds. Your lady has a limit to how much she'd correspond with you. She may have waited for a few more months or maybe even years. Only she knows. Good thing you didn't hit her limit.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Davo

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #248 on: August 05, 2017, 07:16:01 PM »
Thanks Billy,
It wasn't particularly by choice, my divorce has been  a long and drawn out affair. It's been hard on my children and I couldn't leave them for two weeks and feel comfortable about it.
She had stated that she will wait as long as it takes as my children must come first. It's been an attraction for her that I'm a very committed single father.
Interestingly enough, her friend conversed with a foreign man for a year before they met, so I don't think this has been a major issue for her, but I am surprised that our online relationship has intensified even during the last few weeks,  maybe because it's getting closer to meeting.
« Last Edit: August 05, 2017, 07:37:35 PM by Davo »

Offline BillyB

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #249 on: August 05, 2017, 07:49:25 PM »
Thanks Billy,
It wasn't particularly by choice, my divorce has been  a long and drawn out affair. It's been hard on my children and I couldn't leave them for two weeks and feel comfortable about it.
She had stated that she will wait as long as it takes as my children must come first. It's been an attraction for her that I'm a very committed single father.
Interestingly enough, her friend conversed with a foreign man for a year before they met, so I don't think this has been a major issue for her, but I am surprised that our online relationship has intensified even during the last few weeks,  maybe because it's getting closer to meeting.

She must be very patient and trusts you a lot to be waiting till you finish a divorce. Most women have a policy of not dating a man until he's free. Some people here won't approve of you searching for a woman before the divorce is final but truth is some men and women have checked out of the marriage long before the final paperwork is signed and are emotionally ready to move on.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

 

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