Time for some Humor!!

[tfcrew]

Write your own caption----->


Vlad---Hey Xi ...did you get bottle of Stolichnaya Elite I sent  ....$3000 bottle USD
Xi [thinking]...还以为我给这家伙寄了一瓶2万美元的贵州茅台白酒  [And to think I sent this guy a $20,000 bottle of Kweichow Moutai]

[Faux Pas]

Write your own caption----->


"Pull my finger?"

[cameraguymn]

You made Trump cry too?

[ML]

What's important?

[ML]

For those FSU folks that don't believe

[Gator]

For those FSU folks that don't believe

That tickled my science funny bone. 

[GQBlues]

Seen on a license plate:

~ White privilege for sale. New, never used. All offers considered. ~

[ML]

~ White privilege for sale. New, never used. All offers considered. ~

But the blacks and their supporters would contend that White Privilege doesn't have to be 'used;' . . . it is just there.

Not sure they don't have a point.

But on the other hand . . . I have told family and friends several times . . . think who was most hated group in USA after WWII.

It was Japanese Americans.

So what did they do?

They kept their heads down, their mouths shut, excelled in education, worked hard, didn't try to push their culture or behavioral traits on the rest of us, didn't riot and destroy their own neighborhoods, and now are one of the most economically successful group in USA.

[BillyB]

Somebody had "COVID and my ex F'd everybody" on the back of their window.

[Gator]

The acronym CHL has different meanings.  One is the Canadian Hockey League.  Another is the nation Chile (ISO code). 

Texans know it as  Concealed Handgun License.  In Florida we call it a CWP.

To obtain a CHL, a gun owner must complete a  special class.  This is a radio ad for a CHL class in the heart of Texas.   The brief ad captures Texas sentiment about handguns. 

http://biggeekdad.com/2011/10/kellers-riverside-store/

[Grumpy]

Video chat IQ test

A couple of days ago I was video chatting with a gal when the conversation hit one of those inconvenient lulls. So I quickly improvised some conversation and I complimented her on her perfume. (Did I mention we were video chatting on the internet?)  While she was euphorically beaming and thanking me for the compliment, I was subtly moving her to the "B" list.

Contrary to some members' beliefs, the olfactory enhanced internet is yet to be invented. Any rumors different are just a conspiracy theory, but by all means keep showering before getting online, just in case.   

[tfcrew]

  I complimented her on her perfume.   

Maybe she thought you wanted to send her some. Maybe this....
 
A bit pricey [$300 on ebay] but she'll love it.

[2tallbill]

I've been trying to figure out a way to make a joke out of a quote
from Dave Barry,

"Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless
you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet."

Then I decided that the quote was strong enough on it's own.

[tfcrew]

Every time I start to do something...my wife has something for me to do 

[tfcrew]

  Probably...you have seen this snapshot before. I will let it caption itself.
But what I can't help but notice is.. how large Hillary's head is.

[ML]

  but notice is.. how large Hillary's head is.

But apparently it didn't develop from 'giving head.'

[GQBlues]

A man walks into his doctor’s office one day complaining about pain he’s experiencing.

Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Man: Doc, I have this searing pain down my backside lower entrance...
Doctor: Backside lower entrance? I don’t understand. What do you mean?
Man: (pointing at his butt) Right there, Doc...that lower entrance.
Doctor: (Glanced down momentarily at his butt, then looks at the guy and said) Well, I have to be honest, you keep calling it an ‘entrance’ then the pain will likely never stop.

[BillyB]

Since we are on the topic of entry holes, here's one for you.


When the court asks for the reason why your ex-boyfriend was stalking you - iFunny

[tfcrew]

[tfcrew]

[tfcrew]

He was wandering around the fairgrounds when he happened to see a fortune teller's tent.
Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down.
"Ah....." said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children." 
"That's what you think," he laughed. "I'm the father of FIVE children."
The woman grinned and said, "That's what YOU think!"   

[GQBlues]

Hahah! The lighter side of Andrew Cuomo's resignation (yeah, I know - another Democrat pervert).


I'm Italian, baby!

Considering resigning for the charges of sexual harassment, both Cuomo and media understands any criminal exposure he now faces is no more than just two misdemeanor offenses. This, despite his abuse of power, the criminal act of flasfying the # of COVID deaths, cancelling medic-aid in the heat of NY's pandemic, and of course, the worst of all, authorizing covid-infected patients into nursing homes and assisted-living facilities in addition to handing immunity to its facilities' executives.


Oh New York, New York....

[GQBlues]

[tfcrew]

Two guys are fishing and drinking beer. One says...'I'm thinking about divorcing the wife, she hasn't spoken to me in two weeks.'
The other one finishes his beer and then says 'You best think that one over a little more...a woman like that is hard to find.'
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The guy's wife growled 'You haven't been listening to a word I've said have you?'. He thought 'What a strange way to start a conversation'.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 A man tells the pastor 'I think my wife is trying to poison me.' 'Oh seriously?' replied the pastor. 'I'm very serious' said the man. 'She is being very secretive and I think she is hiding something to poison me with'.
The pastor then said 'Let me talk to her and I will find out what is going on and I will let you know.'
A week later the pastor calls and tells the man 'I spoke with your wife and must have talked with her for at least 3 hours..Now, do you want my advice?'
The man said yeah sure and the pastor replied 'Go ahead and take the poison.'

[ML]

Virtually everyone has heard of Karl, but he had a notable sister named Onya.

In fact she invented the 'Starter' pistol used in foot races.

The starter guys pay tribute to her at the beginning of each race by calling out her name just before firing the pistol.