fsu dating advice please

[Trenchcoat]

No, that’s not a valid comparison.

The UK was never a society in which informants ran the system, or in modern times, where fealty to the state determined your career and social standing. The UK didn’t starve millions of its citizens to death because they belonged to the wrong ethnicity or didn’t wish to be told how they must live.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

There will be differences as it's a different society several thousand miles apart.

Some of what you say to varying degrees and with a different slant is true in the UK. There was no starvation but on council estates more than other strata of society people will stab you in the back as a means to advance themselves. Not all will and other strata of society do it also but it is far more common there. Other strata in UK society don't tend to do it as much as the higher you go up the more important connections become. You act underhand to one connection and the whole lot may abandon you. Plus the connections exist to elevate each other so it would not be a goid idea to turn on each other. In the UK there is still what is called 'the establishment' basically the higher strata of society with connections. These people/families have held themselves in power for generations. The different generations take up different positions over time but they all remain wealthy and with influence to get what they want. They go to the posh public (private) schools, live in the same neighbourhoods and socialise in the same circles. Think of the crowd that buy and read Tatler magazine, I never had, lol. The Monarchy  is part and parcel of the establishment.

So in the UK it may be more concealed but unless you are particularly extraordinary, talented or just plain lucky most are still largely confined to their social strata and likewise jobs/careers doesn't matter what qualifications you have. Yes it was different in the FSU the way you describe in a somewhat worse sense. The situation remains though that most girls these days will have only grown up or recall growing up post USSR and their reality will be closer to council estate Britain.

[Boethius]

How many men on council estates had suitcases packed and always standing ready, in case a black Chaika came in the middle of the night to take them away?  How many people on council estates had to list for the government all their relatives living abroad?  How many people from council estates had government deciding whether they would go to school, and where?  How many people on council estates lived in barracks, usually for years, until a home was built for them?  How many people from council estates required government permission to move to another town or city?

To suggest there are similarities just proves you don’t understand FSU society at all.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

[Jamesukjames]

Trench you have never had to fear the state unless you were a radical extremist.   Even normal 30 year old Belarus and Ukrainians are still wary of the state.  To use msmobs example I have a 18 year old son who is happy with UK women and a 17 year old son who wants to date fsu having dated UK.  And a 13 year old son who will tell you that my f s u girlfriends  have been kind to him where as my UK girlfriends tried to push him out the way.

[Jamesukjames]

People will do you over what ever walk of life you come from it's not called the rat race for nothing.  Big business is no different .

[msmob]

The UK didn’t starve millions of its citizens to death because they belonged to the wrong ethnicity or didn’t wish to be told how they must live.

Hi Boethius

Irish kids are taught that the British DID starve the indigenous population of the island

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Famine_(Ireland)

But otherwise your point re differences was well-made by our resident 'historian'... 

If he has such a degree - it proves my long held belief that history is about having an opinion based on dodgy facts / opinions of others - with agendas and one picks the stance one wishes ;(

[Boethius]

Trench you have never had to fear the state unless you were a radical extremist.   Even normal 30 year old Belarus and Ukrainians are still wary of the state.  To use msmobs example I have a 18 year old son who is happy with UK women and a 17 year old son who wants to date fsu having dated UK.  And a 13 year old son who will tell you that my f s u girlfriends  have been kind to him where as my UK girlfriends tried to push him out the way.

LOL.  How many girls has your 17 year old son dated to come to this definitive conclusion while still wet behind the ears?  My son's first girlfriend (at age 15) dumped him, breaking his heart.  I, OTOH, couldn't see the back of her head fast enough.  I expressed my concern about her character to the better half when they first got together, and he said "Why are you concerned?  They're 15.  They'll be broken up in 3 months."  Sure enough, they were. He's had 3 or 4 girlfriends since, break ups either commonly decided or he dumped them.  Now, he's on his own, and he's very much like his father, so his personal life is his, none of my business. 

My husband has told him (and his brother) to avoid FSUW at all costs. 

As for the FSUW who are kind to your son, of course they are.  They aren't stupid.  I know a man in Ukraine who was dating a woman with a child.  He had custody of his two children.  She was wonderful to them in front of him.  After they married, she remained wonderful when he was in sight or earshot, but when he was at work, she used to lock his children in a barn (they lived on a dacha just outside Kyiv), and didn't feed them, while her child ate well and ran around freely.  When they told their father this, he didn't believe his children.  Then, one day, he came home at noon, and his children were locked up.  So he divorced her.  He lived with another woman who was equally horrible to his children, but didn't marry her, and dumped her as well.  He ended up marrying a coworker who'd never been married when his children were grown.  She has always been wonderful to his children, and they now have a child together.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

[Jamesukjames]

My 17 who is now nearly 2 meters tall now has been living the life of a man since 14.  One of the bad effects of broken families.  As has his elder brother since 15. 

[Boethius]

But he's not a man.


It's funny how some men here extol the virtues of FSUW and their devotion to "family', while failing to walk the talk.  (This is a general comment, not directed at any one poster, despite the juxtaposition).



This post was composed without the aid of google.

[Jamesukjames]

Boethius another cold shower from you.  So what's your wife hunting advice please

[Jamesukjames]

If you know how to stop young men following nature please advise me.

[Boethius]

Boethius another cold shower from you.  So what's your wife hunting advice please

1.  Stay out of Ukraine.  Although all the Slavic republics of the FSU are culturally similar, Ukraine is destroyed financially, run by a government that doesn't care about the life or death of its citizens, and many (not all, but many) are individuals who can't make it there, or get to the West on their own merits.  Separating the wheat from the chaff can be done, but it requires time and a wisdom that relatively few here possess.

2.  Look at who her family is.  If her family were party members, she can be a good wife, but there is often a duplicity, or unreasonable expectations. 

As I posted in the past, and will repeat, the better half meets a lot of FSU individuals, probably because he's out and about a lot (fishing, mostly, as lots of people walk or have picnics beside our river).  The first thing he's asked by FSU individuals when he tells them they can speak Ukrainian/Polish/Russian/Serbo-Croation/Czech, etc., to him is whether he is from "here" or "there".  He said he realized, once he started saying "here", that this was because they would lie to him - things he, as a FSU citizen, knew were outright lies, and they wanted to know whether these lies would fly.

3.  Register at a site that is not geared to FSU meeting WM, but rather, FSUM.  Some women will reject you outright, but others won't.

4.  Stay fairly close within your age range.  As I assume you are around 45 or so, 35 and up - the older you get, the bigger the gap (it stays static at 35).   

The better half's advice is to use your heart, not other organs in your search.  But, he's the world's last romantic.

If you know how to stop young men following nature please advise me.

I'm not referring to dating/sleeping with girls.  17 year olds are not exactly mature in all aspects of life, and need direction.  IMHO, most men don't grow up until age 25 or 30.  It's tough, because they don't want your advice, but you need to be there to guide them.  One of our sons always listened to his father's advice.  The other needs to learn things in his own way, but I still watch out for him. 

Coming from a broken home, they need you more than do children from intact homes.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

[krimster2]

but Bochik’,
these are ACTUALLY the reasons to GO to Ukraine!!!

the majority of the people in Ukraine don’t posses either the job or language skills or have the financial resources to make it to the west on their own

poor and uneducated, geographically isolated, poor...
but also young and beautiful....

I frankly can’t imagine a more fertile hunting ground than this...

the ONLY thing I find baffling about these threads is how guys manage to fail in Ukraine...

I seriously DO NOT understand how someone fails in Ukraine...

[Boethius]

but Bochik’,
these are ACTUALLY the reasons to GO to Ukraine!!!

the majority of the people in Ukraine don’t posses either the job or language skills or have the financial resources to make it to the west on their own

poor and uneducated, geographically isolated, poor...
but also young and beautiful....

I frankly can’t imagine a more fertile hunting ground than this...

the ONLY thing I find baffling about these threads is how guys manage to fail in Ukraine...

I seriously DO NOT understand how someone fails in Ukraine...

I don't think Ukrainians are uneducated.  The better half says many are "obscure", but that doesn't necessarily mean uneducated. 


Why would you want to go to a country to find someone who is using you as a passport? 


This post was composed without the aid of google.

[krimster2]

please allow me to “deconstruct” the FSUW and their devotion to "family' myth...

it is stated incorrectly, here’s the truth...
in the lower strata of Russian society, mothers train their young daughters to be their domestic servants, and the girls grow up conditioned to be obsessive compulsive about cooking and cleaning...  that’s it, no devotion to family, just cooking and cleaning...

ok...

Bochick’
in a global economy you better have a global education
or it’s the same as having none at all
good for you that you can recite all of Taras’s poetry
but don’t how to write a weekly progress report correctly

“Why would you want to go to a country to find someone who is using you as a passport? “

it’s called “quid pro quo”
and it’s a pretty sweet deal (at least for me)

[Boethius]

The rate of divorce in FSUW/WM marriages is as high as Western or FSU marriages.  So, marrying someone because she must "rely" on you is no guarantee she will stay with you.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

[krimster2]

frankly, I could spend a lot of time “waxing nostalgic” over the merits of Ukrainian agricultural villages, with their tiny 2 room shacks...

if any of these villagers have young daughters, they’ll be out in the garden sweating away in the hot sun digging up kartoshkie, etc.
strong robust, hardy farm girls...
hmmmm......

photo provided of course...


"So, marrying someone because she must "rely" on you is no guarantee she will stay with you."

human relationships don't come with warranties or guarantees
a relationship is like a plant, give it the right nutrients and it thrives
otherwise it withers and dies
just like this, a relationship thrives or it doesn't
my one and only marriage to a Ukrainian village girl
going on 20 yr now, and I couldn't be any happier with the choices I made!
I have provided her with plenty of nutrients
and have reaped a full harvest...

[rwd123]

1.  Stay out of Ukraine. 
2.  Look at who her family is.
3.  Register at a site that is not geared to FSU meeting WM, but rather, FSUM. 
4.  Stay fairly close within your age range. 
The better half's advice is to use your heart, not other organs in your search. 

Agree with this except #3. Online dating sucks, meet women in country instead.

Krimster has a point if you want to "go shopping". Ukraine's economy has basically collapsed and never recovered since the fall of the USSR. But I think there are better places.

[lyndontom]

I inadvertently watched this link (I'm on DC mailing list) and couldn't help but cringe at it and found it uncomfortable viewing. Apologies if that offends anyone, or if Keith comes here - it's only my opinion and no disrespect intended.



Still, it shows there is hope yet for Trench!

[GQBlues]

I inadvertently watched this link (I'm on DC mailing list) and couldn't help but cringe at it and found it uncomfortable viewing. Apologies if that offends anyone, of if Keith comes here - it's only my opinion and no disrespect intended.






Still, it shows there is hope yet for Trench!

These types of matches are far more prevalent than many would honestly admit. Hell, I’m likely the ugliest mofo that ever stepped off the FSU tarmac. The MOB in recent past till today was designed for these types of union. Ukraine is currently one of the center of this universe because of its current economy. I won’t be surprised to learn the guy in the video is at least a second dipper.  At least. They’ll give you a reason it is because FSUWs are just the bomb! It doesn't matter how badly they got snookered by the previous one, they'll come back again and again because, well the 'real' truth is - it is their only means for companionship. Temporary as that may be for the vast majority.

Yes, TC have a better than a good chance landing a Ukrainian babe.

[Jamesukjames]

Move over Jason Stratham.....keith my new role model.....another reason to regret last nights mcdonalds

[lyndontom]

Trench has been quiet for a few days...

[Jamesukjames]

maybe we should ask trench out for a pint.  msmob would probably spend the evening correcting us.

[The Natural]

Hell, I’m likely the ugliest mofo that ever stepped off the FSU tarmac.

Surely not? Of course not as handsome as the Brad Pitt lookalike in this video, but I'm sure you're ahead of many here, hehe

[Jamesukjames]

my claim to fame some friends took brad pitt to the same pub in uk for a week , he wore a hat , no one noticed him , 

[John Gaunt]

maybe we should ask trench out for a pint.  msmob would probably spend the evening correcting us.

Trench never leaves his basement......