Russian Women Discussion
RWD Discussion Groups => Introductions and Ice-Breaker => Topic started by: Intrepid Traveler on February 28, 2021, 07:45:51 PM
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Since everyone is warm and welcoming and a moderator has accommodated my request to fix my name (I had a lowercase "i" as the first letter in Intrepid), I thought I should be neighborly and introduce myself.
Quick Background
I am a single male in my late 50s. I have no kids and, aside from work, no real obligations.
Although I have a technical background, I enjoy communications. I took a course two years ago that provides me with credentials to teach English as a second language. Prior to taking the course, I have helped dozens of people from lesser developed countries on the internet with some of their important correspondence, most often university entrance letters. Most of the people that I helped were women from FSU countries. Over that time, I have developed a few permanent friendships but nothing romantic.
Plans
I would like to go to Saint Petersburg to learn Russian for a year. While attending classes, I would like to find a special person to share my life with. When I read about Saint Petersburg, it seems that men are in demand. Of course, I am sure that depends upon the guy. I am reasonable looking and in reasonable shape.
Why learn Russian? It gives me an additional reason to stay in Saint Petersburg for an extended period. I would like to immerse myself in its history and culture. And if I meet someone special, it gives both of us an opportunity to see each other over a longer period to help ensure that we're a good fit for each other.
What steps am I actively doing to move to Russia for year or meet someone special. The honest answer is nothing. That is why I plan to be in lurking mode for a while.
Until COVID-19 is over and my finances are in strong shape again, I am not making any definitive plans. And because I am not making any definitive plans, there is no point initiating contact with women.
I already have an outstanding offer from one of my former "students," who is an attractive doctor in her late 30s in Moscow. She implores me to come and visit, so I also plan on visiting her when I do make my way to Russia.
Women
I am not big on a lot of correspondence with women prior to meeting them face-to-face. Emails, Skype, or whatever might go very well, and then when you meet, not so well. So I would prefer to either set something up and let her know I am coming soon or just meet women when I am there.
My doctor friend always flirts with me, and we laugh a lot together when we have our Skype calls. We often chat for a couple hours at a time, and we usually chat every two or three months. Even though we get along great, we do see some things in life differently. And because she has lived and studied in Europe, she does not have much interest in traveling to a different country to live there. She is a Muscovite and wants to remain so. That said, she will remain one of my closer friends and will always have a place in my heart.
How Serious am I?
Going to Russia has been a dream for a while. Although my desire is there, until I actually make physical moves, I have not done anything substantive. We all know people who talk a great game but never deliver. So until I am ready to put my plans into action, I am not that serious.
So I hope to learn from others so that I can avoid some pitfalls and make faster progress when I do get moving.
Regarding my name "Intrepid Traveler," that, too, is aspirational. If everything comes together as hoped, I can be a nomad if I so choose.
I hope you enjoyed this introduction.
One last comment: even though I enjoy communications, I often skip words when writing quickly. I apologize in advance for any further typos.
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You have the perfect plan, follow it!
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You have the perfect plan, follow it!
+1
Nothing to add here but, Russia is a great country. I am currently considering to locating there with my Russian wife after retiring in a couple of years. I have been many times (16 times if my math is correct) and the direction the US is currently going, I think it might be a good decision. I love St. Pete and if you're prepared, you will too. We've all got to be some place and the world isn't the same as it was when I started this path.
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I would like to go to Saint Petersburg to learn Russian for a year. While attending classes, I would like to find a special person to share my life with. When I read about Saint Petersburg, it seems that men are in demand. Of course, I am sure that depends upon the guy. I am reasonable looking and in reasonable shape.
St. Petersburg was my favorite city to visit in Russia. I'm not sure Russia is going to want you for a year straight though. Depending on your visa, you may have to leave Russia after so many days or months.
There's so many things to learn in life, a new language is not on my list. Many of the girls over there will judge you on other factors. Some men come here and lack social skills and think learning a language will help them. I recommend they communicate with and date as many girls locally to improve their social skills first if they want to be successful with the ladies.
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Good plan, go for it. And do not let people scare you about how bad Russian politics are.
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St. Petersburg was my favorite city to visit in Russia. I'm not sure Russia is going to want you for a year straight though. Depending on your visa, you may have to leave Russia after so many days or months.
There's so many things to learn in life, a new language is not on my list. Many of the girls over there will judge you on other factors. Some men come here and lack social skills and think learning a language will help them. I recommend they communicate with and date as many girls locally to improve their social skills first if they want to be successful with the ladies.
Billy is right, but if you can combine both, language and social skills you are a winner...
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You have the perfect plan, follow it!
It is more of a dream than a plan. IT said he is 'not that serious yet'
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St. Petersburg was my favorite city to visit in Russia. I'm not sure Russia is going to want you for a year straight though. Depending on your visa, you may have to leave Russia after so many days or months.
It would be minimum of one day to reset 6 months. My friend in Moscow has been in Russia for 6 years now. He got an education visa so didn't have to leave!!!
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You have the perfect plan, follow it!
Thank you for the ringing endorsement. I hope my plan comes to fruition.
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+1
Nothing to add here but, Russia is a great country. I am currently considering to locating there with my Russian wife after retiring in a couple of years. I have been many times (16 times if my math is correct) and the direction the US is currently going, I think it might be a good decision. I love St. Pete and if you're prepared, you will too. We've all got to be some place and the world isn't the same as it was when I started this path.
The world certainly is changing, isn't it? And wow, sixteen times. You must consider Saint Petersburg a second home already. At the gym, I know some retired folks who chose to reside in Central America for several years. But they came back to Canada because of health care considerations. What are your thoughts concerning health care?
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St. Petersburg was my favorite city to visit in Russia. I'm not sure Russia is going to want you for a year straight though. Depending on your visa, you may have to leave Russia after so many days or months.
There's so many things to learn in life, a new language is not on my list. Many of the girls over there will judge you on other factors. Some men come here and lack social skills and think learning a language will help them. I recommend they communicate with and date as many girls locally to improve their social skills first if they want to be successful with the ladies.
Great comments, BillyB.
When I looked a year or two ago, it was possible for Canadians to get a one-year, multiple-entry visa. The person had to fulfill certain criteria, though. When I looked at some of the language schools, it seemed that most mentioned renewable three-month visas. If I were unable to get a one-year visa, then I would have to make a trip to one of the Baltic countries or somewhere else every ninety days. It's not a showstopper.
Learning Russian is not on on everyone's to-do list. I enjoy learning learning new things. While good with numbers and logic, I also know that I am slower than average in learning languages. To compensate, I plan on having one-on-one instruction so that I can move along at a comfortable pace. I also have the luxury of not needing to achieve a certain level by a certain date.
I understand and agree completely that those who lack social skills will still find life challenging in Russia. While no Casanova, I am not your stereotypical, shy introvert, though I am an introvert. I am comfortable talking to and being with women. Once you get to know women, regardless of how beautiful they are, you find that they are just people with their own challenges, just like the rest of us. Once I get beyond the second or third date, things tend to progress smoothly. And even the first couple of dates usually go well, too. I find those the most challenging because I am trying to read the other person while making sure I am providing a positive impression. Once some of the uncertainty is removed, the situation becomes easier.
I used to work in a northern location that was heavily dominated by men. So I may not be as practiced as others who have more experience. But I am comfortable that I will be to navigate around potential relationships. That said, one can always improve, regardless of how skilled or experienced.
I also plan to be busy in Saint Petersburg immersing myself in cultural activities. And I might even tutor one or two people in English. So I am sure that I will come across many women.
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The world certainly is changing, isn't it? And wow, sixteen times. You must consider Saint Petersburg a second home already. At the gym, I know some retired folks who chose to reside in Central America for several years. But they came back to Canada because of health care considerations. What are your thoughts concerning health care?
I've only been to St Pete once. Spent almost 2 weeks that time and loved it. I do plan on going back for another visit sometime. Health care in Russia sucks, to put it plainly and simply. That said, money takes care of all problems healthcare wise in Russia. The care is available at a price. That may or may not be a deal breaker for us in the future
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Good plan, go for it. And do not let people scare you about how bad Russian politics are.
I plan to steer clear of politics. I know from my Russian-doctor friend, that the political situation is not great and that many are unhappy.
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I plan to steer clear of politics. I know from my Russian-doctor friend, that the political situation is not great and that many are unhappy.
That has been true for the last 200 years. :P
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Billy is right, but if you can combine both, language and social skills you are a winner...
While I might not be a winner, I hope learning Russian increases my odds of finding a great partner. Even if it doesn't, I am sure I will enjoy the process.
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It is more of a dream than a plan. IT said he is 'not that serious yet'
You're correct. I tend not to suffer fools gladly, and I am cautious about those who talk a great game but don't deliver.
Until I taken meaningful steps, it is a dream. By meaningful steps, I mean that there is a serious commitment of time and money. Until then, this is a dream.
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That has been true for the last 200 years. :P
And perhaps even longer.
For those that might be interested, Robert K. Massie wrote Nicholas and Alexandra, Catherine the Great: Portrait of a Woman, Peter the Great: His Life and World, The Romanovs: The Final Chapter. I thoroughly enjoyed his books because they were fun to read while providing an historical understanding of the country's recent developments.
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It would be minimum of one day to reset 6 months. My friend in Moscow has been in Russia for 6 years now. He got an education visa so didn't have to leave!!!
Yes, I am sure that there are ways around the visa issue.
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I've only been to St Pete once. Spent almost 2 weeks that time and loved it. I do plan on going back for another visit sometime. Health care in Russia sucks, to put it plainly and simply. That said, money takes care of all problems healthcare wise in Russia. The care is available at a price. That may or may not be a deal breaker for us in the future
Some advice that is given to Canadians is to buy health insurance from a Canadian bank. The four or five large Canadian banks tend dominate everything financial in Canada. And if we do not require to US heath care, then the cost of insurance goes down considerably, perhaps as much as 40 percent. If a Canadian is happy with the health care in Germany or one of the Scandinavian countries, then perhaps not having access to US health care could reduce the cost.
It's another item I need to investigate further.
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Some advice that is given to Canadians is to buy health insurance from a Canadian bank. The four or five large Canadian banks tend dominate everything financial in Canada. And if we do not require to US heath care, then the cost of insurance goes down considerably, perhaps as much as 40 percent. If a Canadian is happy with the health care in Germany or one of the Scandinavian countries, then perhaps not having access to US health care could reduce the cost.
It's another item I need to investigate further.
Good insurance may or may not be the answer. I suspect that depends on exactly where you happen to be and when you happened to require excellent healthcare. I do know that concerning healthcare in Russia cash on the barrel can be helpful. Again depending on when and where you are. Standard HC in Russia can kill you. The promise of payment from an insurance company might be as bad. I personally do not know as I've never needed to test it. I have some first hand experience through some members of my wife's family but of course they are Russian. There are health insurance companies in Russia that might prove a better option. I will be looking closer at this in the future though. For your visit I would suggest a good insurance company and make sure they will pay for expenses out of country and Russia specifically. Just in case have a medical slush fund in case you need it
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Here is my generic advice for Newbies
WARNING FOR ALL NEWBIES GOOD STUFF FOR ALL TO READ BELOW
My first piece of advice is to do a ton of research, read until your eyes bleed.
Here are some good places to start.
1. Read the Ten Commandments
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=1740.0
2. Read the thread Pursuing FSUW 101
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0
3. Read the Free EBook
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=47
4. Read all the trip reports you can. You can find mine here
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=3432.0
Second piece of advice
As you read you will have questions, you can either use the search function or
you can come back here to this thread and ask them. When you ask questions
you will get a lot of free advice. Some of this advice will be excellent, some will
be good and some will be more dubious.
Your job is to NOT GET OFFENDED and sift through the advice using what would
be helpful for you, your goals, your personality and your situation and then ignore
the rest. You are relatively anonymous here (my advice is to keep it that way) and
nobody knows anything about you except what you write here.
Udachi! (that means good luck in Russian)
Bill
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:welcome: IT
I suggest preparation is the best thing you can do for the moment. Travel is still going to be difficult and probably unwise for the next few months till enough of the vaccine gets around. Until then try learning the language through self learning methods, check out the thread Camera Guy has started for suggestions on resources for that. Like yourself I'm not great at picking up on learning a language so breaking the back off it by learning a little bit before you go will help you to avoid struggling in class while there. It should also make travelling easier and feeling more comfortable there as although a fair number around St. Pete' s will be able to speak English not all will and some things will be easier knowing a little basic Russian.
If you can get into teaching English over there then you will have a source of income as well. Otherwise you'll need a fair amount of savings and/or an independent source of income. For most Russian women a guy who can provide is off importance so that can be a bigger pull than knowing the language as it's the way society is geared up that way over there these days. I think that you have read up on Russian history is good as it gives you a good context about the country and no doubt gave even more interest in it. Keep us in touch with your progress :)
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Good insurance may or may not be the answer. I suspect that depends on exactly where you happen to be and when you happened to require excellent healthcare. I do know that concerning healthcare in Russia cash on the barrel can be helpful. Again depending on when and where you are. Standard HC in Russia can kill you. The promise of payment from an insurance company might be as bad. I personally do not know as I've never needed to test it. I have some first hand experience through some members of my wife's family but of course they are Russian. There are health insurance companies in Russia that might prove a better option. I will be looking closer at this in the future though. For your visit I would suggest a good insurance company and make sure they will pay for expenses out of country and Russia specifically. Just in case have a medical slush fund in case you need it
A friend from the gym who used to live in Central America as a retiree until he came back to Canada because of easier access to health care suggested the following: if you plan on living abroad in a country where you don't like or trust its medical system or services, arrange with a air ambulance company in advance of getting sick. You don't want to be negotiating when you have other pressing concerns.
I agree that more work is required for addressing medical insurance. I am more inclined to use a Canadian or American insurance company that provides international health insurance. This is a to-do item.
Thank you for your comment.
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A friend from the gym who used to live in Central America as a retiree until he came back to Canada because of easier access to health care suggested the following: if you plan on living abroad in a country where you don't like or trust its medical system or services, arrange with a air ambulance company in advance of getting sick. You don't want to be negotiating when you have other pressing concerns.
I agree that more work is required for addressing medical insurance. I am more inclined to use a Canadian or American insurance company that provides international health insurance. This is a to-do item.
Thank you for your comment.
In St Pete it may not be as big of an issue but the bigger question is where you are when you need healthcare, will they accept the insurance? I've always had insurance when traveling abroad but I also quietly questioned that if something happened to me health wise would they actually pay.
I had to file on some travel insurance once. I called them at the time of the incident, they told me to pay and I would get reimbursed. Needless to say it didn't quite work out that way
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Here is my generic advice for Newbies
WARNING FOR ALL NEWBIES GOOD STUFF FOR ALL TO READ BELOW
My first piece of advice is to do a ton of research, read until your eyes bleed.
Here are some good places to start.
<snip>
Thank you for your post, Bill. I look forward to reading your trip report.
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:welcome: IT
I suggest preparation is the best thing you can do for the moment. Travel is still going to be difficult and probably unwise for the next few months till enough of the vaccine gets around. Until then try learning the language through self learning methods, check out the thread Camera Guy has started for suggestions on resources for that. Like yourself I'm not great at picking up on learning a language so breaking the back off it by learning a little bit before you go will help you to avoid struggling in class while there. It should also make travelling easier and feeling more comfortable there as although a fair number around St. Pete' s will be able to speak English not all will and some things will be easier knowing a little basic Russian.
If you can get into teaching English over there then you will have a source of income as well. Otherwise you'll need a fair amount of savings and/or an independent source of income. For most Russian women a guy who can provide is off importance so that can be a bigger pull than knowing the language as it's the way society is geared up that way over there these days. I think that you have read up on Russian history is good as it gives you a good context about the country and no doubt gave even more interest in it. Keep us in touch with your progress :)
Getting to know some Russian before beginning my language training in Russia would definitely be helpful. I saw the Camera Guy's thread earlier and looked at some options.
While teaching would provide an income, language teachers are not paid well. I plan on living on my savings for a year. In perusing some of the posts in this forum, I noticed that some guys have paid over $100K in their search. That is serious money, at least to me. That said, I expect when I factor in my costs for living abroad for a year and other costs, it'll likely come around that amount.
I believe women everywhere want to ensure that their man can provide for himself. And if she is emigrating from her country to ours, she is going to expect that he can provide for both, at least until she can contribute.
Thank you for your comments.
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In St Pete it may not be as big of an issue but the bigger question is where you are when you need healthcare, will they accept the insurance? I've always had insurance when traveling abroad but I also quietly questioned that if something happened to me health wise would they actually pay.
I had to file on some travel insurance once. I called them at the time of the incident, they told me to pay and I would get reimbursed. Needless to say it didn't quite work out that way
That's worrisome that we cannot count on insurance companies to honor their agreement. When the time comes, I will definitely be asking more questions.
Thank you.
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If you're not enrolled in a course starting in September then I call "bullshit". You've got six months to turn a dream into reality. That's enough time if you get cracking now (and have the funds).
I'd recommend you sign up for a multi-year university course, even if you don't plan to finish it. It will provide a pathway for TRP/residency if you wish to pursue it. I'm not sure you can work on a study visa, you'll have to DYOR.
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In St Pete it may not be as big of an issue but the bigger question is where you are when you need healthcare, will they accept the insurance? I've always had insurance when traveling abroad but I also quietly questioned that if something happened to me health wise would they actually pay.
I had to file on some travel insurance once. I called them at the time of the incident, they told me to pay and I would get reimbursed. Needless to say it didn't quite work out that way
I can say from experience that they do. However they may request you to go to a specific doctor or hospital that they are allied with. In St Petersburg you can be sure there is such a place.
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Financially stable men are in demand, remember that and tell yourself that often when dabbling with women considerably younger than yourself.
If russian language helps with your income , then great , if not , forget it and work on your income . At your age women expect you to be financially strong already.
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Health Insurance Companies pay off two ways:
1) They reimburse you for medical expenses you have paid.
2) They make direct payments to health care providers.
In USA, health care providers often will agree to method 2 for well known insurers, with you paying the remaining 20% (or whatever) to them.
Outside of USA (and maybe Canada) the health care providers 99% of the time are going to want 100% of the money from you. Then you can try to get reimbursement from insurance.
There is virtually no such thing as them 'accepting' your insurance policy. They will 'accept' your money and perhaps a well known credit card or debit card.
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If you're not enrolled in a course starting in September then I call "bullshit". You've got six months to turn a dream into reality. That's enough time if you get cracking now (and have the funds).
I'd recommend you sign up for a multi-year university course, even if you don't plan to finish it. It will provide a pathway for TRP/residency if you wish to pursue it. I'm not sure you can work on a study visa, you'll have to DYOR.
You can call it whatever you want. You can even use more creative words than bullshit, if you want. The reality is that I am marching to my drumbeat, not yours or anyone else's.
As I stated, until I make a meaningful commitment, it's a dream. If and when that situation changes, it becomes a plan.
I can guarantee you this much though: I won't be there by September. I suffered a major financial hit with COVID-19. So it ain't happening as quickly as I would like. But that's life.
And I am sure not planning to sign up for a "multi-year university course" in Russia. Even diplomats posted to Russia don't sign up for a "multi-year university course."
My goal is not to become fluent in Russian. Instead, it is to be to converse at a reasonable level. As I stated in prior comments, I have the luxury of not having to attain a certain level of proficiency by a certain date.
This trip will be an adventure for me, not a means to an end where I have another degree.
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Financially stable men are in demand, remember that and tell yourself that often when dabbling with women considerably younger than yourself.
If russian language helps with your income , then great , if not , forget it and work on your income . At your age women expect you to be financially strong already.
Financially (and mentally) stable people who have integrity and are smart are always demand.
And the Russian language definitely won't help with my income. Instead, it will be an expense. But it is part of the reason why I want to go. It's going to be a fun challenge to learn something new and difficult.
Regarding financial stability, I am confident that there have been scores of successful men that have gone to FSU and found their partner with far less funds than I have. These men are still happily married today. And others, like myself, want to ensure that we have sufficient funds set aside to weather future storms. So we're more cautious. It all depends on your future desired lifestyle.
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You can call it whatever you want. You can even use more creative words than bullshit, if you want. The reality is that I am marching to my drumbeat, not yours or anyone else's.
As I stated, until I make a meaningful commitment, it's a dream. If and when that situation changes, it becomes a plan.
I can guarantee you this much though: I won't be there by September. I suffered a major financial hit with COVID-19. So it ain't happening as quickly as I would like. But that's life.
And I am sure not planning to sign up for a "multi-year university course" in Russia. Even diplomats posted to Russia don't sign up for a "multi-year university course."
My goal is not to become fluent in Russian. Instead, it is to be to converse at a reasonable level. As I stated in prior comments, I have the luxury of not having to attain a certain level of proficiency by a certain date.
This trip will be an adventure for me, not a means to an end where I have another degree.
Why don't you take a trip to Russia for a week or two and get a feel for the land before actually going there for your extended period? That could be done later this year.
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Getting to know some Russian before beginning my language training in Russia would definitely be helpful. I saw the Camera Guy's thread earlier and looked at some options.
While teaching would provide an income, language teachers are not paid well. I plan on living on my savings for a year. In perusing some of the posts in this forum, I noticed that some guys have paid over $100K in their search. That is serious money, at least to me. That said, I expect when I factor in my costs for living abroad for a year and other costs, it'll likely come around that amount.
I believe women everywhere want to ensure that their man can provide for himself. And if she is emigrating from her country to ours, she is going to expect that he can provide for both, at least until she can contribute.
Thank you for your comments.
That's probably serious money to most people lol.
I think that most likely relates to guys that go back and forth to the FSU (Former Soviet Union) over a number of years most likely from the US. So it's costs of flights, accommodation, etc, some like to spend big and throw money at it using various methods. Some will pay agencies thousands of dollars/pounds to put them up in accommodation and bring women straight to them that are on their books. Some will spend thousands on tours where they can meet many women in a room, and scammers. Some will spend out lots of money on the girls they meet hoping it will persuade them.
I personally try to do it as frugally as possible :D Budget airlines can get you there cheaper, looking around for good but cheap hotels & apartments can save a fair amount of money.
I think it might be worth your while also considering Ukraine, it tends to be cheaper than the big Russian cities of Moscow & St. Pete's and most western nations get visa free stays, in the case of the UK 3 months free visa stays in every 6 months roughly I think it is. Check with your Country for the exact info though of course. Kiev as you no doubt know was an important Russian city and most of the population still speak Russian today in Ukraine. Accommodation can be had real cheap. In anywhere in the FSU make sure you are not paying way over the odds for accommodation because you are a foreigner. You'll pay some more of course but some will try to rip you off if they think you are not aware of what a local would pay.
Teaching English can be a good way to meet FSW and subsidise your living costs so money doesn't flow out too quickly. You don't have to do it all the time just a bit here and there. I would do it myself but my English is not all that great myself and for me I think it would be too much bother to me especially as I probably wouldn't make a great English teacher.
I personally think it is great you are willing to take the time to build up to this venture. Some people jump straight in but I think spending time preparing in different ways can be time well spent. Being over there a long time instead of quick fly in visits is a much better way around it if finances allow.
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Why don't you take a trip to Russia for a week or two and get a feel for the land before actually going there for your extended period? That could be done later this year.
That might happen. In my earlier posts, I mentioned a doctor living in Moscow. She would like me to visit, and it would be great to see her in person. And a week or two would be a great introduction to the country with no pressure of having to accomplish anything or attempt to find that special someone. So we will see.
After this COVID-19 pandemic, we could all use a vacation.
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That's probably serious money to most people lol.
I think that most likely relates to guys that go back and forth to the FSU (Former Soviet Union) over a number of years most likely from the US. So it's costs of flights, accommodation, etc, some like to spend big and throw money at it using various methods. Some will pay agencies thousands of dollars/pounds to put them up in accommodation and bring women straight to them that are on their books. Some will spend thousands on tours where they can meet many women in a room, and scammers. Some will spend out lots of money on the girls they meet hoping it will persuade them.
I personally try to do it as frugally as possible :D Budget airlines can get you there cheaper, looking around for good but cheap hotels & apartments can save a fair amount of money.
I think it might be worth your while also considering Ukraine, it tends to be cheaper than the big Russian cities of Moscow & St. Pete's and most western nations get visa free stays, in the case of the UK 3 months free visa stays in every 6 months roughly I think it is. Check with your Country for the exact info though of course. Kiev as you no doubt know was an important Russian city and most of the population still speak Russian today in Ukraine. Accommodation can be had real cheap. In anywhere in the FSU make sure you are not paying way over the odds for accommodation because you are a foreigner. You'll pay some more of course but some will try to rip you off if they think you are not aware of what a local would pay.
japtats stated, "Financially stable men are in demand, remember that and tell yourself that often when dabbling with women considerably younger than yourself."
So I thought I would mention the $100K value that I have seen floating around here on the forum.
Let's dig into "financially stable" a bit deeper.
The median value for family income in the US in 2019 was about $59K. The median value means that half will earn more and half will earn less. Now, if we consider average or mean income, the value shoots up considerably to about $106K. Again, this is for families. A lot of families—almost 30 percent—consist of just one person.
Now, let's look at net worth. The median value in 2019 was about $122K. The average or mean is much higher at $747K.
In both income and net worth, a few high-value outliers will help bring up the average. But there are a lot of wealthy people in the US.
For example, to be in the top decile in the US in terms of wealth, a family needs $5.7 million. That's a respectable value. To be in the 75th percentile, a family needs $704K. And to be in the 50th percentile, a family needs $236K.
So when we consider the $100K value mentioned earlier spent searching for your beautiful bride, you should be comfortably in the top of half of society.
I have included several attachments with this post. I hope that they come through. I am still learning how this board functions.
Teaching English can be a good way to meet FSW and subsidise your living costs so money doesn't flow out too quickly. You don't have to do it all the time just a bit here and there. I would do it myself but my English is not all that great myself and for me I think it would be too much bother to me especially as I probably wouldn't make a great English teacher.
Yes, Ukraine is an interesting country with a lot of history. I have read of some people retiring there to enjoy a comfortable lifestyle on not much money. I have not investigated the pros and cons of living in Ukraine or Russia on a permanent basis. I like where I live now because we have a good lifestyle and almost everything works as it should.
I agree that teaching English is a great way to meet FSW. But the pay is not that great, unless, of course, you specialize in some form of English. I could easily teach business English or something like that. But to be honest, I am not sure that I would enjoy teaching on a full-time basis. I enjoy one-on-one interaction with a student. But having a class of people might be more challenging.
Some activities are fun and enjoyable as hobbies or interests. But if forced to do them as an occupation, the fun and enjoyment might disappear. That is how I feel about teaching. Now, I might surprise myself and really enjoy it. But at the moment, it is not my top priority.
I personally think it is great you are willing to take the time to build up to this venture. Some people jump straight in but I think spending time preparing in different ways can be time well spent. Being over there a long time instead of quick fly in visits is a much better way around it if finances allow.
Regarding japstats' comments, I have some sympathy. I suspect that one in ten or one in twenty guys who talks about going to an FSU country actually goes. So some are skeptical of others until they have actually gone to a FSU country. The reality for me is that it does not matter what others think. You can't or shouldn't spend your life worrying about what others think of you. Life is too short for that.
I need to rebuild my assets, and I am enjoying my work right now. I am doing important work that will help others. So I am happy with life. Once the pandemic lifts across the globe, though, I will want to at least have a foreign vacation. As mentioned in a prior post, I may visit my friend in Moscow as a gentle introduction to the country.
While I think preparation is smart and wise, too much analyses can lead to paralysis. Every person has to decide for himself how much preparation he wants or needs. Some will jump in headfirst and do just fine. Others will come back with war stories about how they were taken advantage of.
There is probably no perfect way to approach going to an FSU country in search of someone special. Yet there lots of wrong approaches. I hope to avoid those.
Thank you for your comments.
Here's my data sources:
For income and net worth, please see the Federal Reserve. Here's one link:
http://tinyurl.com/m5yf6vyf
For single person families, I used the US Census: http://www.census.gov/library/visualizations/2019/comm/one-person-households.html
Even though I am from north of the border, I tend to rely on US statistics. The statistics for us is likely less attractive. I expect that Americans are wealthier than Canadians.
I hope that there are not too many typos.
I hope my five png and one jpg attachments show up. These are just graphical files. If they do not show in this post, can someone tell me how to make them accessible?
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Financially stable is different from being a wallet on legs.If you wish to attract someone who has dirty nails from the digging for gold, just spend your money in public. You will not have to wait long to get someone idolizing your $$$$$.But for a sincere woman, financial stability means you can support your family o live in comfort without throwing money at every issue.
It is up to you what you want to have. A trophy that will shine while you spend, or a partner that will care for you until the end.
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Financially stable is different from being a wallet on legs.If you wish to attract someone who has dirty nails from the digging for gold, just spend your money in public. You will not have to wait long to get someone idolizing your $$$$$.But for a sincere woman, financial stability means you can support your family o live in comfort without throwing money at every issue.
It is up to you what you want to have. A trophy that will shine while you spend, or a partner that will care for you until the end.
I agree with everything you wrote. I am not looking for a trophy wife. For me, that would be draining financially and emotionally. Instead, I will be looking for someone who has a sense of adventure, sense of humor, a kind heart, and a curious mind. She also has to enjoy being physically active.
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I think you have a good take on the situation IT without having actually had experience in the venture which is very impressive indeed. I'm guessing you picked up a fair amount of experience in life and so know how things are in many aspects of life.
I'm not sure if you mean $100k as total overall wealth built up including assets such as a house or $100k as savings and money to spend in the bank. If it's money in the bank is there any assets in addition to it?
I think a journey to the FSU could be handy beforehand as a holiday as to acclimatise yourself. It will likely make the move easier if you decide to do it. One option may be to visit Minsk in Belarus, many western countries get a 30 day visa free visitation period there now. It would only be a short flight for your Doctor friend to visit you there and you'd avoid having to get a Russian visa.
I think Japs probably thinks you're an all talk kind of guy. I don't think there is anything wrong with a considered approach with out any commitment though after all we aren't all built the same and I think some just want to see how it goes and there's nothing wrong with that. Most members here know I talk a lot on this forum with perhaps less do, but when I know the time is right and have decided In make my move for better or worse (figuratively speaking I mean). I've visited the FSU several times, last time in Kiev in summer 2019 for a few days. Apart from the odd ups and downs its overall often fun to visit there and get away from the scene at home for a bit. So I would definitely go only if to get out of western society for a bit and into a place where the men still have value :)
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I think Japs probably thinks you're an all talk kind of guy.
I mean men in FSUW's eyes (Majority), are men who can provide. Men who make them feel safe, i have a friend where her bf told her he wants to split the hotel bill 50/50 (came out of nowhere, he was waiting to show his colours). SHe flipped, and now is coming down to visit me and my gf for the weekend. I had a woman (young) screaming outside my apartment at her boyfriend 'you promised me', she was mad that she is living with his mother, whilst she is pregnant.
Secret is men promise a lot of things, and cannot deliver. This is what women mean when men don't deliver, a lot of talking. FSUW is the land of talk, women talk about love, men talk about delivering, rarely do either do any of it.
Stop messing with poetry, work on your income, work on the way you look, go to the gym, if you got enough energy, work on your income some more. Don't come to FSU playing fairy tales
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I think you have a good take on the situation IT without having actually had experience in the venture which is very impressive indeed. I'm guessing you picked up a fair amount of experience in life and so know how things are in many aspects of life.
“A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.” – Muhammad Ali
I hope I haven't wasted all these years and have learned a few things along the way. In fact, I hope we all have.
I'm not sure if you mean $100k as total overall wealth built up including assets such as a house or $100k as savings and money to spend in the bank. If it's money in the bank is there any assets in addition to it?
I am not sure of your question, so I am going to guess at my answer.
I seem to recall reading in the forum that some men have spent about $100K in their search. That includes agencies, trips, accommodation, and whatever fees are associated with bringing their brides back to their country.
To be successful and comfortable in your search, I believe you should have much more than $100K in liquid assets, unless, of course, you're in your late 20s or early 30s when you are still building your net worth.
My own thought process is that I need enough to be comfortable and to leave enough behind so that she's comfortable when I am gone. This is on the assumption that she is five to fifteen years younger than me and may live longer than me.
I think a journey to the FSU could be handy beforehand as a holiday as to acclimatise yourself. It will likely make the move easier if you decide to do it. One option may be to visit Minsk in Belarus, many western countries get a 30 day visa free visitation period there now. It would only be a short flight for your Doctor friend to visit you there and you'd avoid having to get a Russian visa.
As mentioned in a prior post, I am more likely to visit my friend in Moscow. She would kill me if I went to Eastern Europe just to say I've been there without visiting her. And she would be right to do so. But I am sure that there are lots of great places to visit and people to meet.
I think Japs probably thinks you're an all talk kind of guy. I don't think there is anything wrong with a considered approach with out any commitment though after all we aren't all built the same and I think some just want to see how it goes and there's nothing wrong with that. Most members here know I talk a lot on this forum with perhaps less do, but when I know the time is right and have decided In make my move for better or worse (figuratively speaking I mean). I've visited the FSU several times, last time in Kiev in summer 2019 for a few days. Apart from the odd ups and downs its overall often fun to visit there and get away from the scene at home for a bit. So I would definitely go only if to get out of western society for a bit and into a place where the men still have value :)
As mentioned, I don't care what others think. Life is too short.
When people are caustic toward you, ignore it. Most importantly, do not take it personally. Let it pass right through you. Their attitude is a reflection of them, and it says nothing about you.
As a mental exercise, think of people you know who have been caustic or mean toward you. I bet those individuals are more caustic or mean than typical people are. They is just the way they are. That's their identity.
Similarly, think of people who have gone out of their way to help you. I bet those individuals are typically kinder than your average person. They look for opportunities where they can help others. They like to pay it forward. That, too, is their identity.
For the record, I didn't find Japs caustic. He was maybe a little opinionated, but not definitely not caustic. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion.
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I seem to recall reading in the forum that some men have spent about $100K in their search. That includes agencies, trips, accommodation, and whatever fees are associated with bringing their brides back to their country.
Those guys were either spending like a drunken sailor or they couldn't buy a women in prison with a fist full of pardons. In the two years I dated my wife I made 5 trips. Spared no expense but didn't needlessly blow money either. 30K tops. Some I understand did it for half that and they may have, that's just not my style
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Those guys were either spending like a drunken sailor or they couldn't buy a women in prison with a fist full of pardons. In the two years I dated my wife I made 5 trips. Spared no expense but didn't needlessly blow money either. 30K tops. Some I understand did it for half that and they may have, that's just not my style
I think 30k is on the money during the search and visa costs. One of my close friends did it for a lot less 3 years ago .... I’ve convert his costs to USD and haven’t included engagement and wedding costs.
He met a wonderful woman on a free site and then spent a month in Yekaterinburg on his first trip which cost approximately $3500 US including flights. A few months later he spent another month with her for another $3500 and proposed on that trip. He started the visa process which cost approximately $7000. He flew back for back for another month ($3500) while the visa was approved and then paid $700 for her flights to start their new life together.
Total cost :- $18,200 USD.
Lots of guys who claim to spend huge amounts of money are falling victim to the scam PPL sites.... one guy spent $300,000+ and never met the “woman” he was writing too. There’s a YouTube video interview with him if anyone’s interested in seeing how gullible some men are.
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Those guys were either spending like a drunken sailor or they couldn't buy a women in prison with a fist full of pardons. In the two years I dated my wife I made 5 trips. Spared no expense but didn't needlessly blow money either. 30K tops. Some I understand did it for half that and they may have, that's just not my style
That's great. I suspect those that spent $100K wasted a fair amount on scam agencies.
You obviously spent wisely to have made five trips and only spent $30K. Six thousand dollars per trip isn't cheap but isn't wasteful either.
Thank you for your comment.
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I think 30k is on the money during the search and visa costs. One of my close friends did it for a lot less 3 years ago .... I’ve convert his costs to USD and haven’t included engagement and wedding costs.
He met a wonderful woman on a free site and then spent a month in Yekaterinburg on his first trip which cost approximately $3500 US including flights. A few months later he spent another month with her for another $3500 and proposed on that trip. He started the visa process which cost approximately $7000. He flew back for back for another month ($3500) while the visa was approved and then paid $700 for her flights to start their new life together.
Total cost :- $18,200 USD.
Lots of guys who claim to spend huge amounts of money are falling victim to the scam PPL sites.... one guy spent $300,000+ and never met the “woman” he was writing too. There’s a YouTube video interview with him if anyone’s interested in seeing how gullible some men are.
I wonder if the cost for Europeans is less because travel costs, though plane fare is not that much for economy. If you want a better class, then the cost savings may be more.
I can't watch a YouTube video about a guy who spent $300K on his search. Surely, he should have known that he was on a path to ruin. That is too much money to lose because of ignorance. While some people might enjoy the Schadenfreude, I just feel sorry for the dude. I hope he has a sense of humor about his misadventures.
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That's great. I suspect those that spent $100K wasted a fair amount on scam agencies.
You obviously spent wisely to have made five trips and only spent $30K. Six thousand dollars per trip isn't cheap but isn't wasteful either.
Thank you for your comment.
I'm guessing 5-6K of that was on K-1 visa. I could have been much more frugal than I was but why? I bought gifts, we ate well, went places, sometimes had to pay for lodging. Each trip was 12-15 days. I point this out for your information. It's doable without spending a fortune and still enjoying the ride. Your dream sounds like a good plan in the making. Stick with it
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I'm guessing 5-6K of that was on K-1 visa. I could have been much more frugal than I was but why? I bought gifts, we ate well, went places, sometimes had to pay for lodging. Each trip was 12-15 days. I point this out for your information. It's doable without spending a fortune and still enjoying the ride. Your dream sounds like a good plan in the making. Stick with it
I agree. This is an adventure to be enjoyed. So there's no point in being extremely frugal.
Thank you for your comments.
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I wonder if the cost for Europeans is less because travel costs, though plane fare is not that much for economy. If you want a better class, then the cost savings may be more.
I can't watch a YouTube video about a guy who spent $300K on his search. Surely, he should have known that he was on a path to ruin. That is too much money to lose because of ignorance. While some people might enjoy the Schadenfreude, I just feel sorry for the dude. I hope he has a sense of humor about his misadventures.
My mates from Australia.... Flights were very affordable before covid $1200-$1500 aud return if you book a few months out, but we pay more than most for a spouse / fiancé visa. A reasonable apartment cost him $500-$600 aud for the month. The trip I took a while back cost me a touch over 4k aud for almost a month and we ate out a lot and did a did a few tourist things. My flights were very cheap @ $1100 aud, but I booked 6 months in advance.
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http://youtu.be/MacOp3zypMc
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I can't watch a YouTube video about a guy who spent $300K on his search. Surely, he should have known that he was on a path to ruin. That is too much money to lose because of ignorance. While some people might enjoy the Schadenfreude, I just feel sorry for the dude. I hope he has a sense of humor about his misadventures.
I watched it, its the old pay per letter writing scam with pictures, stickers, sending expensive gifts - iPhones which tend to be the old hold the gift (used to be flowers or teddy bear) for a photo then put it back on the shelf, all that costing more. The iPhone he paid as a gift ended up being a photo of her with her existing phone lol, the screen lit up unnoticed by her when the photo was taken and it had a number by the email icon (49 Emails) so could be seen it was not a new phone. The girls were in on it but just stepped in when needed, hairy Boris was doing the rest.
Apparently the guy has got $70,000 through charge backs from one credit card company so now is down only around $230,000. He's trying to do the same with the other two credit card companies he uses and hopes to pretty much get it all back. Even so it's an ordeal to do all the paperwork and prove he was being unfairly charged/ripped off. He's lucky that there is charge backs now but even if hen it is hard and no guarantees necessarily.
He seems a nice enough guy so it's pleasing to see he got/getting money back. I don't really understand how he didn't have a reality check when the credit card bill came in the early months with $12k etc. Whether he has really learnt from this and will be more perceptive next time idk. Could be a case that he's so wealthy that it led him to not scrutinize and take a good hard look at paying a lot out but in reality not really seeing any concrete result for it.
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http://youtu.be/MacOp3zypMc
Davo, that was an interesting video, thanks for highlighting it for us. I never thought that someone would be taken for as much as $300k on the ppl scam.
I think it brought up an interesting point that a little t of girls can almost be scammed themselves in partaking in it, they tend to get the smaller portion of the money while the agency owner makes a mint. I think BillyB's point is important here in that these girls (assuming they are not already married) wreak their chances of finding a guy for a decent LTR as once they partake in a scam it becomes part of their character.
So in reality some of those girls wreak themselves over in what may be in many cases really quite insignificant sums in the long run for them.
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I went to the YouTube to look at the comments, hoping to find a something that would be insightful. The comments go on forever. And surprisingly, many of the comments are from women. I thought this story would appeal to men only.
In any event, I can't watch it. I feel bad for the dude. As I said before, I hope he has a sense of humor about his situation.
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He met a wonderful woman on a free site and then spent a month in Yekaterinburg on his first trip which cost approximately $3500 US including flights. A few months later he spent another month with her for another $3500 and proposed on that trip. He started the visa process which cost approximately $7000. He flew back for back for another month ($3500) while the visa was approved and then paid $700 for her flights to start their new life together.
Total cost :- $18,200 USD.
Davo, you are missing a lot of costs here . . . the ones incurred 'after' the gal arrives in country.
English lesson to make her proficient.
New wardrobe.
Car
Driving lessons.
Redo her education, gain certifications, etc.
Dental work.
Insurance for her; she may not qualify for employer plan or guy might not have an employer plan. In USA, it would cost $15,000 a year for insurance for my wife.
Etc., etc., etc.
Money to for her to travel back home X times a year.
Money to send to her parents to replace what she had been providing them.
Education costs for her children.
Others . . . add to this list.
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A FSW that wants a lot of stuff like this is the worst. Nothing but a constant outflow off money, money being spent quicker than you can earn it. Feels like being a cash dispenser with one request following another. If a girl seems like this while dating her as I have had consider more frugal girls :)
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As I said before, I hope he has a sense of humor about his situation.
To me the guy seems to have a lot of money floating around. I assume he already owns a house. It certainly seems the sort of money that could be spent on a decent house. I think anyone who hasn't had money come easy to them and any regard for it wouldn't be feeling humour with this sort of loss, maybe he's a high earner idk.
If he's able to reclaim pretty much all of it I guess humour may then come. Till then if it were me I would be pretty cheesed off. If he's wealthy enough not for it to have a particularly punishing effect on his life then I guess it may not be quite as bad for him.
Apparently, according to him he has found they are now using software that learns people's behaviour based on questions you get asked in letters. That's used to try and scam more money out of you and keep you on the hook. Hence another reason to stay clear of ppl agencies as they are probably all getting onto that. I still think that the guy while stable looking enough probably was a bit neive in character overall. Red flags were there, he found them, chose to ignore them or accept bs explanations over them. He could have looked on the internet, come here to ask but his mind didn't want to accept the truth.
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Stop messing with poetry, work on your income, work on the way you look, go to the gym, if you got enough energy, work on your income some more. Don't come to FSU playing fairy tales
I missed your post, japtats. Here's some news for you: I don't care what you think.
If you are going to try to insult or badger me, try to at least show some creativity. Your comments are lame.
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Davo, that was an interesting video, thanks for highlighting it for us. I never thought that someone would be taken for as much as $300k on the ppl scam.
The guy made a thousand mistakes,
1. Never send money to someone you have never met.
He spent money on gifts for women he never met.
2. Always have a back-up plan.
3. Work to eliminate any agency from your communications.
He didn't do this
4. Always get the lady's home address and home phone number as early as possible.
He didn't do this
5. Verify the ladies you are writing to are real.
He didn't do this
6. Do not fall in love with photos!!
7. Always be yourself. Show the ladies the real you. Be truthful. Use current photos.
8. Do not rush into this! Take your time and be methodical, not impulsive, about this process.
9. Treat international dating the same as dating someone from your home country.
The biggest difference is the cost (travel, phone. etc). This is an expensive process.
Don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise.
10. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MAIL-ORDER BRIDE! They do not exist.
11. GET YOUR BUTT ON A PLANE
He didn't do this
He dumped money into a chatting fantasy rather than moving things along.
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The guy made a thousand mistakes,
It just shows that our biggest enemy can be ourselves and our fantasies.
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It just shows that our biggest enemy can be ourselves and our fantasies.
He could have flown to the FSU 30 times for ten grand each but he decided
to pay keyboard Romeo instead? I only watched bits and pieces of the video
because I can't watch him talk about it. His continued departure from reality
for such an extended time is just weird to me.
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The guy made a thousand mistakes,
1. Never send money to someone you have never met.
He spent money on gifts for women he never met.
2. Always have a back-up plan.
3. Work to eliminate any agency from your communications.
He didn't do this
4. Always get the lady's home address and home phone number as early as possible.
He didn't do this
5. Verify the ladies you are writing to are real.
He didn't do this
6. Do not fall in love with photos!!
7. Always be yourself. Show the ladies the real you. Be truthful. Use current photos.
8. Do not rush into this! Take your time and be methodical, not impulsive, about this process.
9. Treat international dating the same as dating someone from your home country.
The biggest difference is the cost (travel, phone. etc). This is an expensive process.
Don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise.
10. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MAIL-ORDER BRIDE! They do not exist.
11. GET YOUR BUTT ON A PLANE
He didn't do this
He dumped money into a chatting fantasy rather than moving things along.
That's an excellent analysis Bill. That guy made even way more mistakes than me lol. I think too that guy fell down on a few rudimentary mistakes as you've listed and he's only got himself and his own shortcomings to blame for that more than any issue he raised with computer behaviour learning program. I think as you've put whatever way a scam goes down it really comes down to a guy making rudimentary mistakes. I think for me the fact that he spent so much without actually going there and actually seeing a person, that he couldn't quantify that he wasn't getting anything in the slightest substantial for his spend out is one of the biggest clangers for me. Even if the virus is stopping that then it should have been a case of leave it and go do something else. There are free dating sites for the FSU out there that he could have used and spent nothing and had real ladies to communicate with but he never took the time to look into the FSU dating world even on a brief Google search and find out about it first.
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When seeing the scams I always am compelled to tell that most of the scammers are not the women in the picture, and in most cases they are even unaware.In the past a very large part of the dating scams were done by criminal organizations, based in or near university campus. That gave them a large supply of pretty girls who would be happy to have their pictures taken with promise of a modeling career.The rest was sending form letters and collect money, the girls were not involved.
This is also why this type of scam has faded, as to invest time and money in to video conversations and app communication is not profitable for these organizations.
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I missed your post, japtats. Here's some news for you: I don't care what you think.
If you are going to try to insult or badger me, try to at least show some creativity. Your comments are lame.
You're fantasizing. He was just being direct.
Have you ever lived abroad before?
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That's an excellent analysis Bill. That guy made even way more mistakes than me lol.
You and he probably make the same amount, it's just you don't make so many
mistakes involving your money.
Normally this is where I would point out your various faults and mistakes but
I am trying to stop doing that.
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You're fantasizing. He was just being direct.
Have you ever lived abroad before?
And you're obtuse. I don't have to answer your questions or accept your demands to attend a "multi-year university course" by a certain date. That's just weird, man.
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Here is my generic advice for Newbies
WARNING FOR ALL NEWBIES GOOD STUFF FOR ALL TO READ BELOW
My first piece of advice is to do a ton of research, read until your eyes bleed.
Here are some good places to start.
1. Read the Ten Commandments
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=1740.0
2. Read the thread Pursuing FSUW 101
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0
3. Read the Free EBook
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=47
4. Read all the trip reports you can. You can find mine here
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=3432.0
Second piece of advice
As you read you will have questions, you can either use the search function or
you can come back here to this thread and ask them. When you ask questions
you will get a lot of free advice. Some of this advice will be excellent, some will
be good and some will be more dubious.
Your job is to NOT GET OFFENDED and sift through the advice using what would
be helpful for you, your goals, your personality and your situation and then ignore
the rest. You are relatively anonymous here (my advice is to keep it that way) and
nobody knows anything about you except what you write here.
Udachi! (that means good luck in Russian)
Bill
I am reading through your trip report (point 4) and am on page 8 of 52. You write well. But reading about this antidate stuff is blood curdling.
Although I am going to keep reading through the rest of posts, I just wanted to comment that I am enjoying your trip report and highly recommend it others. It's an eye-opener.
Addendum: I will be starting page 17 on my next visit.
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I am reading through your trip report (point 4) and am on page 8 of 52. You write well. But reading about this antidate stuff is blood curdling.
Although I am going to keep reading through the rest of posts, I just wanted to comment that I am enjoying your trip report and highly recommend it others. It's an eye-opener.
Addendum: I will be starting page 17 on my next visit.
I have actually met the women from Antidate. They were not at all that bad. At the time many women who denied a man were labeled as scammer, and Antidate decided to give an opposite opinion, labeling men who would not commit as sex tourists.
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I have actually met the women from Antidate. They were not at all that bad. At the time many women who denied a man were labeled as scammer, and Antidate decided to give an opposite opinion, labeling men who would not commit as sex tourists.
I know a few of them as friends too. The website had the potential to do so much
good and as individuals I got along with many of them just fine but when they got
together as a group, they became like a coven of necromancers each drawing out
the worst of each other.
I soon realized that there was no profitable reason to continue engaging with that group.
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Hmm. I read antidate, and I don't think the women brought out the worst in each other. I think their forum was very Soviet in its outlook. There was another forum, U.S. based, which also gave a lot of advice, both to FSUW who had settled in the US, and to women in the FSU who were looking for/had found American husbands. It could be very interesting, particularly in some of its more mercenary discussions.
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I missed your post, japtats. Here's some news for you: I don't care what you think.
If you are going to try to insult or badger me, try to at least show some creativity. Your comments are lame.
I don't think he was trying to insult you. On the contrary, actually, although I disagree with his advice.
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I don't think he was trying to insult you. On the contrary, actually, although I disagree with his advice.
Young people sometimes give me unsolicited advice. I usually listen politely
and move on. I rarely take offense to what they say because, they don't even
know what they don't know.
They have such a small amount of experience to draw from that it limits what
they see as options and/or solutions. They tend to believe everything is black
or white but it's because their lack of life experience to draw upon.
I would advise the OP to read everything and not take offense. The advice is
free and some advice will be better than others.
Udachi!
Bill
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Young people sometimes give me unsolicited advice. I usually listen politely
and move on. I rarely take offense to what they say because, they don't even
know what they don't know.
I take a different approach. All advice I take at face value, regardless of who gives it. When I disagree I will give my arguments.While this can lead to discussion, it works better than ignoring the advice given.
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I take a different approach. All advice I take at face value, regardless of who gives it.
When I disagree I will give my arguments.While this can lead to discussion, it works
better than ignoring the advice given.
A young person once told me that my now Russian wife (then fiancée) is
only interested in me as a means to be allowed into the USA and will
leave me very soon after she arrives.
I have limited time in my day and very little interest in the opinions of
youngsters with no knowledge of the situation and even less of a desire
to argue with them about that which they know not.
If I had more time, maybe I would have engaged with them.
There was a woman my age or a little older behind me trying to get my attention
while standing in a ridiculously long line at the post office sending my passport
off for a Russian visa.
Upon learning that I was going to Russia she warned me about the perils
of possibly meeting Russian women. She suggested that I should be interested
in her daughter standing next to her with a newborn baby. The daughter flashed
a smile at me.
I was stuck in a barely moving line and I still had no desire to argue with them or
ask why a woman with a newborn baby was available romantically for any reason
in North Dakota. I asked her how many times has she visited Russia, how well could
she speak Russian (zero on all counts).
I kindly explained that Russians just like American's weren't all the same and that
there were many cool things to see where I was traveling. There was no advantage
that I could see to debate anything with her. I went into friendly banter mode instead.
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. . . or ask why a woman with a newborn baby was available romantically for any reason
in North Dakota.
Very simple . . . the bears were in hibernation.
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Very simple . . . the bears were in hibernation.
The young woman was probably not a good judge of character or she
wouldn't have a newborn AND be interested in me romantically. She
was also twenty plus years younger than I was, her mother was my
age (and did not age well).
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her mother was my age (and did not age well).
I would hate to have to date a woman my age.
Now if she were one of the Walton heirs . . .