What sort of improvement in living locally are FSW looking for in their lives?

[Trenchcoat]

They may look decent enough on the inside but they are often small meaning cramped accommodation for the occupants. Outside they often stoll look grim concrete blocks, no cladding  ( though possibly a good thing). They are also getting on in years. Probably still last a fair while longer but guessing their structure & concrete will only hold together well enough for so long.

[Boethius]

I don't mean you lack personality. I don't know if that's true but being low key is not a negative, in my view.

I mean you are naive in a way Ukrainians will exploit ruthlessly. You won't know what hit you. Your relationship with your girl proves my point. A UW playing the long game will still be able to manipulate you. Moving there will change nothing.

[Boethius]

I think you should hire Eduard for a three way conversation with your girl. Let him tell you what he thinks of her. He will see the cultural cues you are missing. Tell her you are hiring an interpreter as you want no misunderstandings.

You would also save money hiring him to screen women for you. In the interests of full disclosure, you should also ask him to read all your posts. I read a few of them to the better half. He asked what sort of family life "a degenerate and a slut" can create, and why am I asking him such silly questions.  I'm still giving you the benefit of the doubt. But your views on women and their role in a relationship need to evolve. Substantially.

[2tallbill]

This was a big mistake as it appears she just mainly wanted to do shopping and she took the p*ss.

There are a lot of men who don't get laid a lot and when they do, they find it difficult to
kick a girl to the curb. I don't know if this is you or not, but it looks like you need to dump
her cute little @ss and find another girl. The longer you wait the more, time, money and
energy you waste.

[msmob]

Living in a country that is more in my control could be preferable to avoid this. Cyprus I'm not sure if they are enough Russian women that would match what I am looking for- plus the weather in summer is scorchingly hot for my more more fairer skin.

Cyprus IS having a hot summer, this year !  - Wise Cypriots, Brits and Russians have a pad in the mountain forests!  If you didn't note the numbers of FSU  W living there then your 'radar' is faulty ... in Limassol - there are 1000s of 'em

[Trenchcoat]

I don't mean you lack personality. I don't know if that's true but being low key is not a negative, in my view.

I mean you are naive in a way Ukrainians will exploit ruthlessly. You won't know what hit you. Your relationship with your girl proves my point. A UW playing the long game will still be able to manipulate you. Moving there will change nothing.

For a guy being 'low key' as you put it is more of a negative than for a girl - at least here in the west, its the guys that are all extrovert and know naturally how to talk, who light up a room when they walk in that get the most women and have it easy with women, etc. For a girl in the west being 'low key' is not as much of a problem, girls are seen as naturally being more quieter and of course they can have children that guy want so they overlook many issues a girl may have. Perhaps it is different in Ukraine and girls are less concerned about this being a more cultural country. Obviously someone who has the means to survive (Money) may at least at first come in preference to Personality score.

Well I'm not an idiot I essentially come from a working class background though I'm quite comfortably off now, but I know when people are trying to pull a fast one. Yes I see now that the girl was/is trying to manipulate me but having slept with me and seem into me I took this as a sign that she was ok, this it seems was a mistake. Like I've said I went along with buying her clothes as she seemed to have a need and I thought the relationship could go somewhere so did not want to foul it up by being too tight, another mistake of mine but it was unchartered territory for me. I think she fouled up to in that see thought she could play both the short game and the long game but in playing the short game in showing her interest was in what she could get out of me and her lack of caring for my financial wellbeing/wasting money she messed up the long game as it raised suspicions that otherwise would not have been raised.

I still think we are saying pretty much one and the same thing that Ukraine is full of women that just look at western men as someone to exploit rather than real relationship prospects. I'm sure a few guy make it with a decent woman there but its like swimming in shark infested waters.

[Trenchcoat]

I think you should hire Eduard for a three way conversation with your girl. Let him tell you what he thinks of her. He will see the cultural cues you are missing. Tell her you are hiring an interpreter as you want no misunderstandings.

You would also save money hiring him to screen women for you. In the interests of full disclosure, you should also ask him to read all your posts. I read a few of them to the better half. He asked what sort of family life "a degenerate and a slut" can create, and why am I asking him such silly questions.  I'm still giving you the benefit of the doubt. But your views on women and their role in a relationship need to evolve. Substantially.

Well I like sluts No I don't think I need Eduard to tell me things with this girl aren't right. Her mannerisms belay how she feels I think, she often seems frustrated, sighs a lot, also she looks away a lot out of the corner of her eye, yes she focuses on me and smiles and her eyes glisten but I think she does that a lot regardless, it is not difficult for her. When I brought up how we were going to be together (before I mentioned Cyprus and she assumed it would be the UK) her eyes moved excitedly from side to side. I see such corner eye movements as signs of deception, hidden intention. I excused her from it in the first trip as though it could be cultural difference/my misreading/misunderstanding of her, she seemed into me so I thought I don't want to get too focused on every little thing that may mean nothing. Now I'm thinking she really is frustrated when with me as she's just playing along (although she is a brat so perhaps just impatient for stuff to happen) and her quick glancing corner movements/looking away a lot are signs she is facially leaking her true intent of deceiving me.

In any case I don't have the sort of money Eduard is after. I know how he sources woman and its not a bad technique and one I will attempt  to try perhaps. I think I am better equipped now to get this right next time. As 2tallbill says I need to have her heart - for me this is made more difficult by searching from afar - I need to be there if not Ukraine & Russia then another place.

[Trenchcoat]

There are a lot of men who don't get laid a lot and when they do, they find it difficult to
kick a girl to the curb. I don't know if this is you or not, but it looks like you need to dump
her cute little @ss and find another girl. The longer you wait the more, time, money and
energy you waste.

Believe me Bill I won't be wasting any more money on this girl. I need to replenish my money, regroup and take my time to get it properly together for my next move. I'm going to spend this winter converting my house to take in a couple of lodgers. This will make it possible for me to live in an FSU (or similar) country for as long as I need. My job is no great loss and I'll be able to pick up another when I return. For me I do not wish to waste more time going down the same old track of doing this from afar, it takes up loads of time anyway and I can't see the results being much better by using that method again. I need to actually be there to read the woman in her home environment.

[Trenchcoat]

Cyprus IS having a hot summer, this year !  - Wise Cypriots, Brits and Russians have a pad in the mountain forests!  If you didn't note the numbers of FSU  W living there then your 'radar' is faulty ... in Limassol - there are 1000s of 'em

Wise until there's a forest fire, lol Yes I can see the bonus of having trees for shade there. I sought the shade often but still got a bit burn't. I know there are load of Russian girls in Limassol . Actually my thought is the shopping Mall on the outskirts is probably not a bad place to find them. Possibly they can be sourced online as best place as just walking around well some were over aged, some were ugly/not my type etc. Thanks Moby I will do an online search. I'm thinking that I would prefer a base where woman can't screw me in the divorce courts anyway. Yes I know what 2tallbill is saying if you have her heart she won't anyway but I think like a lot of guys sometimes you just want to buy into whatever appears to be there even if its not true. I need to safeguard myself against this as I think I'm quite vulnerable to it.

[msmob]

No I don't think I need Eduard to tell me things with this girl aren't right. ....In any case I don't have the sort of money Eduard is after. I know how he sources woman and its not a bad technique and one I will attempt  to try perhaps.

Really !?  I seriously doubt it - given your lack of Russian lang skills ...  If you can't afford Ed,  that is honest, looking back - the money I spend failing  - might have been better in his pocket ! ( Failing - to me is not - did I score?, btw)

I think I am better equipped now to get this right next time. As 2tallbill says I need to have her heart - for me this is made more difficult by searching from afar - I need to be there if not Ukraine & Russia then another place.

1/ You've admitted you can't afford to live there without an income and

2/ not knowing the lingo - you probably can't do it .. without help .... *I* need help, constantly -  and I speak Russian FAR better than you

3/  You seem to lack a basic communication / listening 'gene' and wherever you date - you are watching for negatives ...  Sorry - but you have much to learn and mistakes cost

I still think we are saying pretty much one and the same thing that Ukraine is full of women that just look at western men as someone to exploit rather than real relationship prospects. I'm sure a few guy make it with a decent woman there but its like swimming in shark infested waters.

..and I still say - Boethius has you summed up on the naivety front .   Those with UA long-term wives will be rolling their eyes...    'shark infested waters'  - learn the danger signs  -  you've had more than enough help to spot them )

[Trenchcoat]

My wife prefers to own big house, land, white picket fence, dogs and cats, and 2.5 kids. Although Ukraine will always be close to her heart, she prefers the American dream.

So how come she doesn't go for the 50% or more? (near 100% I'm guessing if there her kids) Many guys would be bricking it if they had a big house that the woman they got with would soon be hitting them in the divorce courts after she obtained her Green Card.

[lyndontom]

So how come she doesn't go for the 50% or more? (near 100% I'm guessing if there her kids) Many guys would be bricking it if they had a big house that the woman they got with would soon be hitting them in the divorce courts after she obtained her Green Card.

Trench, I have to agree with everyone else here and you're question above underlines it; you're coming at this from completely the wrong angle. You say you will take your time to re-group and get yourself together properly for your 'next move'. More than just saving your money, you need to re-think what you're looking for and your strategy.


You show paranoia at every opportunity, yet when the red flags are waving in your face with your lady you are seemingly ignoring them. I don't want to seem harsh, but I agree with Boethius, I think living in Ukraine you would be eaten alive.


Take some time away, write to Mila and go to Kharkov. One thing is for sure, she will guide you and won't introduce you to the wrong sort. It is a nice city, especially at this time of year, with some wonderful ladies and plenty to do if things don't work out for you on the FSUW front.

[Trenchcoat]

Trench, I have to agree with everyone else here and you're question above underlines it; you're coming at this from completely the wrong angle. You say you will take your time to re-group and get yourself together properly for your 'next move'. More than just saving your money, you need to re-think what you're looking for and your strategy.


You show paranoia at every opportunity, yet when the red flags are waving in your face with your lady you are seemingly ignoring them. I don't want to seem harsh, but I agree with Boethius, I think living in Ukraine you would be eaten alive.


Take some time away, write to Mila and go to Kharkov. One thing is for sure, she will guide you and won't introduce you to the wrong sort. It is a nice city, especially at this time of year, with some wonderful ladies and plenty to do if things don't work out for you on the FSUW front.

Believe me I am not going ahead with the girl I am presently with (when I was with her) I have a liking for her in some ways but the idea of her coming here first to the UK is a no-go when she is refusing to see me if I come to her. I'm presently replenishing my cash. This will take a month or two, I don't like it just going down & down. When the money is back on the up then I will go out there again. You are right in suggesting a move away from my present situation. My paranoia I prefer to keep its a necessary early warning system in this venture. Present girl did not flag up early enough as she's not a professional scammer but I will be more aware of the variety of 'situations' that can occur in next time.