Where to find nice, friendly, caring, heavenly girls ?

[sprotz]

I like Russian girls, but since I moved here to St. Petersburg, I have been having trouble finding a girlfriend. Most of the girls are cold, aggressive and uncaring and they don't even look at me even though I'm a hot guy. The people are also generally rude, so being new, I don't have friends to help me out or anyone to turn to, can't find anyone willing to help, so I've been home alone crying continuously. I was thinking somewhere else, maybe Moscow could have friendlier girls, or some other smaller towns. Anyone who's been to Russia, please advise.

[Boethius]

In a city of 4 million, you can't find one decent girl?  No offense, but the problem lies within you, not the Russian women.

[sprotz]

I spotted a few but they are  like 1% of the population, quite rare.

[Boethius]

So? That's still thousands of women from whom to choose. How many women do you need to date?

[tfcrew]

... since I moved here to St. Petersburg ...

Just curious...Why did you move to St Pete?

[BillyB]

I'm a hot guy.

I've been home alone crying continuously.

You're a hot guy yet so lonely you've been non stop crying. Doesn't make sense.

[Trenchcoat]

I like Russian girls, but since I moved here to St. Petersburg, I have been having trouble finding a girlfriend. Most of the girls are cold, aggressive and uncaring and they don't even look at me even though I'm a hot guy. The people are also generally rude, so being new, I don't have friends to help me out or anyone to turn to, can't find anyone willing to help, so I've been home alone crying continuously. I was thinking somewhere else, maybe Moscow could have friendlier girls, or some other smaller towns. Anyone who's been to Russia, please advise.

You sure your not in the UK, lol

Hi Spotz, I've been to Moscow but only on a sightseeing tour. Bounder (another forum member) who several months ago decided to live in Moscow is correct when he says there are many women there, there are literally everywhere in Moscow & seem to heavily outnumber the men. They are of course attractive looking, but you still need to find the attractive looking one that is right for you. Attractive looking girls that are wrong for you i.e are not into you - are no good for you, they are just attractive looking & are pretty meaningless. Few girls on the street will look at a guy its just their culture in Russia, it not the done thing. I think perhaps less so in Ukraine. So don't take it personally. Their ways about dating are different to the west. If you go into some bars with females in you may have more response to your presence than on the street where indifference is the norm.   

Personally, I have no problem with Russian culture, their society & city of Moscow seem fair & fine enough. Like any place you will meet friendly & less so friendly people. I think it is fair to say though that Muscovites some/perhaps many Muscovites tend to have a initial response to strangers that could be perceived as rudeness/unfriendliness. I think it is more their default mannerism of dealing with strangers they don't know rather than deliberately setting out to be rude though of course it may look like that. I just didn't pay much attention to it/place any value on it & just set about what I was doing. From what I tended to notice if you persist in engaging them in talk on whatever level many will become less rude/distant.

I would say however that I much prefer dealing with Ukrainian people, again not all are friendly and some are rude/distant in public. However, I find that often they are much more easy going and easier to get along with. I found a better sort of response say when ordering a drink in a bar than I did when I was in Moscow. So you may prefer to look in the Ukraine as a bit different character type.

In Moscow, it is mainly Red Square (& surrounding streets) & nearby Gorky Park that are the places worth hanging around. I've never been to St. Petersburg but I once looked up on the internet speed dating event for foreigners. Think the women were supposed to be local though. So you could try looking that up, think it was along their main road in the city centre. That or do the usual and keep hitting the online dating sites to see if any women want to meet up with you. If you're not getting any action in terms of trying to line up women & just mopping around then you won't feel good & will place more value on the reactions of strangers to you than you should. Getting you're own life is whats going to help you out a lot out there and that means getting a woman or at least meeting some.

I know Bounder was using Tinder surprisingly with some success so you could give that a try although apparently a chance meeting is where he struck lucky last I heard, you may want to pm Bounder & see if he can help you out at all seeing as like yourself he's out that direction and I would imagine quite experienced by now. He'll no doubt be able to tell you a lot more about it all & how it is out there. 

[Boethius]

Few girls on the street will look at a guy its just their culture in Russia, it not the done thing. I think perhaps less so in Ukraine. So don't take it personally. Their ways about dating are different to the west. If you go into some bars with females in you may have more response to your presence than on the street where indifference is the norm.   

That is not true, but men for the most part, pursue women.  Russian and Ukrainian culture, in this respect, are no different.

I have been to Moscow nine times.  I never found the people cold or unfriendly, just busy, in the way people in large cities are.

BTW, men I know who have traveled very widely say the warmest/most hospitable peoples they have ever encountered are Arabs.  I can't personally vouch for that, as I've never traveled to an Arab country, but they had no reason to lie.

[sprotz]

Thanks for the reply, Trenchcoat.  You mention that Bounder can help. Is he in st. Petersburg? I could really use some help now.

[sprotz]

Just curious...Why did you move to St Pete?

Long story,  but in short, I was born there, raised elsewhere, made some fatal mistakes in my life, and ended up back there. I don't have the ability yet to move wherever I want.

[sprotz]

You're a hot guy yet so lonely you've been non stop crying. Doesn't make sense.

I don't have natural courtship skills, lack social skills,very quiet and shy,few friends in my past , never had a girlfriend, and grew up in isolation from hot girls.

[msmob]

Thanks for the reply, Trenchcoat.  You mention that Bounder can help. Is he in st. Petersburg? I could really use some help now.

sprotz

Trench's suggestion to try Ukraine is BOLLOX - pure and simple ...   

Boethius is bang on ....   The mentality is so similar as to be indistinguishable

I lived in Russia nearly half the year last year and just under 1 third of this year, so far.   Not Piter - but I know plenty of lasses from there who are attractive, open and friendly.

Big city life can be lonely and FSU folk are charming hosts - even if they seem unfriendly in the street ( or behind the wheel )

Have you tried meeting locals who speak English - want to improve their English ?   In the city where I live, I enjoy speaking my mother tongue and have made many friends  / contacts.

Personally speaking, I prefer Piter to Moscow - but then I'm not a big city person

[sprotz]

sprotz

Have you tried meeting locals who speak English -

Yes, I met a friend online who speaks English, then met him once, but like everyone else, he's busy so we haven't hung around much yet.
Why would Trenchcoat be lying ? I have a hunch that Ukraine would be friendlier.

[msmob]

Yes, I met a friend online who speaks English, then met him once, but like everyone else, he's busy so we haven't hung around much yet.

You're seeking female company, yes ?    You need to meet REAL people - not make online contacts - you are there.

Why would Trenchcoat be lying ? I have a hunch that Ukraine would be friendlier.

I didn't say he was lying - I'm saying his 'opinion / advice' is bollox - based on is VERY  limited amount of experience.

[mhr7]

Yes, I met a friend online who speaks English, then met him once, but like everyone else, he's busy so we haven't hung around much yet.
Why would Trenchcoat be lying ? I have a hunch that Ukraine would be friendlier.

Having lived and worked in both countries, I have to agree with mob that Ukraine is not friendlier. Try these -

http://www.facebook.com/groups/St.PetersburgExpats/

or mamba.ru

In a city the size of SPB you should be able to find many English speakers. Don't be passive when trying to meet girls. Be bold and make the first move, that's what they're waiting for.

[sprotz]

Thanks for the help. This made me feel a bit better.

[Trenchcoat]

Long story,  but in short, I was born there, raised elsewhere, made some fatal mistakes in my life, and ended up back there. I don't have the ability yet to move wherever I want.

Then you'll have to accept the situation in St. Petersburg, like I say I've never been to St. Petersburg which was funny since that is the first place I intended to go 18 months ago when I started this journey, lol. but then I got sidetracted on dating sites by women messaging me from all over the place and ended up going to Kiev (yes I should have hidden my profile & just messaged them but then I would have probably missed out on girl I'm now with).

Kiev to me on the first visit was a very alien city to me, literally after setting me down at my hotel in the city centre I had no idea about the city of Kiev or its inhabitants, culture, etc. I learnt as the days went by and it got more comfortable and less strange to me.

It can take a while to get acclimatized to a city & culture, it does for me. Hanging out with local girls if only for a short time can really help. They can show you around the city and you'll get to know it well and relate more to the place & its people plus have memories of the experiences of being shown around to attach to the certain places in the city.

Try also to have a regular routine of places to visit, I found in Moscow a little convenience store not too pricey around the corner from where I was staying. They seemed a tad moody in there at first but once they got familiar with me visiting they became more friendlier in disposition. I find this with Russians so its a case of them building up familiarity with you since you are as alien at first to them as they are to you. You don't really need to be real extrovert in communication, just show up regularly, go about usual routine of buying, ordering drink, esquire about something everyday you genuinely don't know about and you'll find there disposition to you ease. Even if they have a slight negative vibe/attitude about foreigners/tourists/westerners etc they can come around fairly quickly. My communication skills are not wonderful either so you don't have to be real great at communication. Its just a case of breaking the ice.

Well Bounder lives in Moscow a train ride from you, I don't know if he's ever lived in St. Pete's but he's worth a go - he may at least have some ideas over Russian culture & tips to help you out. There are lots of girls out in Russia & maybe less scam prone than Ukraine so its probably a good enough place to meet a girl. All places have their ups & downs so I wouldn't get too hung up over location. Just try & get comfortable with the vibe of the area. If I may ask how are you planning to support yourself while out there?   



   

[Boethius]

I think, sprotz, you need to make contacts where you live.  Start with the expat group mhr7 has provided.  If you have any hobbies or interests, pursue those so you can meet people locally.  As you describe yourself as shy, you need to step out of yourself and force yourself to make contact with others.

[sprotz]

If I may ask how are you planning to support yourself while out there?   

My family owns real estate that we rent out here, also I will do some Forex trading. 
I fear going out too often because, seeing all these couples walking, holding hands, and kissing and cuddling, is heart wrenching. Stuff that I always wanted to do but seems 100% impossible for me.

[Boethius]

If you have the aptitude to do so, tutor Russians who want to learn English for free on weekends, or just meet with them and speak to them in English so they can improve their English.  You'll build goodwill and meet locals, who may include you in their network.

[jone]

Holy Smokes, Sprotz,

It sounds like you would be a great guy for many of the women that show up on dating sites.  Surely you have reached out to a couple??  Do you look like Quasimodo?

If nothing else, create friendships.  I will tell you that any self respecting Russian lady reads that you've been crying at home will absolutely laugh her ass off.  As Edna Moe says to Elasti-Girl in the Incredibles:  Pull yourself together!

I belong to a couple of group chat sites.  These sites have plenty of women from Peter.  They would all jump at the chance to go out for a meal or have some tea with a westerner.  If you let your plight be known to a couple of Babushkas, they will have you meeting their granddaughters and nieces and everyone else they can think of.

But Russian women have no time for namby pamby guys.  Make connections with people.  Not women, people.  They, in turn, will help you to meet women when the time is right.

[BillyB]

I fear going out too often because, seeing all these couples walking, holding hands, and kissing and cuddling, is heart wrenching. Stuff that I always wanted to do but seems 100% impossible for me.

If you believe it's 100% impossible, you should give up the pursuit of women. By focusing on being alone, you will have a 100% success rate and by being successful, you'll be happy instead of depressed.

[sprotz]

you will have a 100% success rate and by being successful, you'll be happy instead of depressed.

Success in what ?  Giving up on girls means everyone leaves me to shrivel up and die. My family wouldn't let that.

[Trenchcoat]

Success in what ?  Giving up on girls means everyone leaves me to shrivel up and die. My family wouldn't let that.

Sprotz I know the outlook without a woman long term is not a happy future. You surrounded by beautiful single women where you are. Most men would kill to be in your shoes, lol. Take advantage of the opportunity of being in a location where many woman would be interested in meeting a man such as yourself. It sounds like you have means to support yourself without work even if not raking it in a FSW will still see you as a possibility. This is your chance to grow in life and it can be done easily just by contacting women for meet ups (which is nothing intense) from reputable online dating sites.

[ML]

I can't really relate much to the situation of guys who are shy around women.
But I don't think  the answer for such guys is to go to places and mingle with women.
The guy just will look and feel terrible and the gals will be turned off.
Seems this is a situation in which a good relationship coach could help.
Not necessarily the PUA that have been talked about, at least in the beginning, but more just a how to talk to gals coach.
Maybe later the PUA coach could help.