36yo looking for a wife

[Bobimy]

hello,
I'm single 36  years old guy, never-married, tech-emplyed from italy. Looking for a wife. I registered here because I need some advices on how to move for the best and avoid scams. I'm planning a trip to Eastern Europe /Russia and would like to have some info. Do you have some suggestions on how to create some contacts in Russia? Online chats are okay?
Thank you very much! 

[Gator]

Bobimy,

Welcome to RWD! 

I am an old-timer with a son your age.  I found my true love years ago through a free introduction service.  The other option is to pay a fee to REPUTABLE agencies and contact women from their catalogues.

DO NOT work with any agency where you pay by the letter.  That is a big "NO NO!"

Read the RWD Ten Commandments: 

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=34

Some of the younger men who are currently endeavoring to meet and date RW will have specific suggestions for websites.

[BillyB]

Welcome to the forum Bobimy. Two prolific posters here are living in Italy, BC and Sandro. I've touch a little Italian products last weekend. Bought Fiocchi ammo and fired it from my .38 special.

It's okay to have online chats as long as you're not doing it through an agency. If you are thinking about using some agency, tell us the name and we can let you know if it's good or bad. Do lots of reading here before spending your money. We may save you thousands.

Many of the women who you will be writing too may think there is a problem with you. Being 36 yo and never married is an indication to them that no woman wants you or that you are a playboy and can't make a commitment to marriage. Be prepared to have some explaining to do.

[dragonkid]

Being 36 yo and never married is an indication to them that no woman wants you

Just say you just didn't find the right person, you don't want to rush marriage, you want to just ensure the person you marry will be your last. "I like to be cautious at times when dating abroad, but if i meet the right person, i would happily proceed and give my time, energy, and emotions to the right person".

Your age is perfect i am in my early 20's, and the women don't believe i want to get married. You need to ensure they know you are serious, do this by being deep, but at the same time show your flaws, like how you are cautious, they will be constantly looking for what is wrong with you. Give off minor ones, and misdirect their attention, otherwise like billy said, they will probably sum you up as a Casanova in your younger days, what changed now? Being cautious tells them you just didn't meet the right person, tell them what the right person is for you, go deep.

[msmobyone]

Welcome

Bobimy!

Gator got in first with good advice.

As a fellow European, with plenty of trips to Former Soviet Union( FSU)  nations, you start with an advantage.... Italians are seen as classy by many Russian speaking wonen.

Good luck.

[msmobyone]

Being 36 yo and never married is an indication to them that no woman wants you or that you are a playboy and can't make a commitment to marriage. Be prepared to have some explaining to do.

????!!!!!

Nonsense.. My intended is nearer to fifty than she cares to remember and never married.

Not being wanted was certainly NOT a reason for not settliing down ))

[BillyB]

Not being wanted was certainly NOT a reason for not settliing down ))

It takes two to make a decision to settle down. If Bobimy looks like a model or has a great personality, he won't have a problem to settle down. Then the ladies will assume he could be a playboy and not serious. One of the best reasons he can give a woman is that in his younger days he was focused on education and career. There's even a flaw with that excuse. Regardless of what a man is busy with during his younger days, if he's not trying to get into women's pants, ladies my assume his equipment may not be working properly. I would have the same questions on my mind about women that didn't have relationships or date much in their younger years.

[ML]

Regardless of what a man is busy with during his younger days, if he's not trying to get into women's pants, ladies my assume his equipment may not be working properly. I would have the same questions on my mind about women that didn't have relationships or date much in their younger years.

I used to think that (your women reference) also.

Then I came across a couple of women who said they had virtually zero interest in sex until they were over age 30.  And then (over time) they turned into almost sex addicts.

[BillyB]

Then I came across a couple of women who said they had virtually zero interest in sex until they were over age 30.  And then (over time) they turned into almost sex addicts.

Hormones can change and make a woman who has little interest in sex in her younger days into a nympho in her later years and vise versa. For men, their sex drive usually goes downhill after their 20's.

[msmobyone]

It takes two to make a decision to settle down. If Bobimy looks like a model or has a great personality, he won't have a problem to settle down. Then the ladies will assume he could be a playboy and not serious. One of the best reasons he can give a woman is that in his younger days he was focused on education and career. There's even a flaw with that excuse. Regardless of what a man is busy with during his younger days, if he's not trying to get into women's pants, ladies my assume his equipment may not be working properly. I would have the same questions on my mind about women that didn't have relationships or date much in their younger years.

That's a lot of words when, ''I made one hell of a sweeping generalisation'' would suffice

[ML]

Hormones can change and make a woman who has little interest in sex in her younger days into a nympho in her later years and vise versa. For men, their sex drive usually goes downhill after their 20's.

Yes, I know most women become best at sex in age range 35-50 or so.

But I was talking about women who really had zero interest in sex in their younger years . . . not just lower interest.  There is a big difference.

[BillyB]

That's a lot of words when, ''I made one hell of a sweeping generalisation'' would suffice

"no woman wants you or that you are a playboy" isn't exactly "one" sweeping generalization. Smart people do try to read a person's past history when evaluating them. All I'm saying is Bobimy needs to understand and prepare for that. I can't remember one woman I've dated that didn't ask about previous women in my life.

But I was talking about women who really had zero interest in sex in their younger years . . .

I know two women that had zero interest in sex in their younger years but loved it after their first child is born. They told me it was because of hormonal changes. In another case one woman told me she loved sex when young but lost her sex drive after her first child was born.

[LiveFromUkraine]

????!!!!!

Nonsense.. My intended is nearer to fifty than she cares to remember and never married.

Not being wanted was certainly NOT a reason for not settliing down ))

It doesn't matter, what Billy said is true for the most part.  If someone hasn't been married by 30, it's typically looked at as if something is wrong with the person.

[Boethius]

But the OP could explain that in his culture, it is not unusual for men to remain single if they have not met their other half.  He could say that is why he is looking abroad, as he's been unable to find his other half in his own country, and he has no intention of marrying twice.

[LiveFromUkraine]

But the OP could explain that in his culture, it is not unusual for men to remain single if they have not met their other half.  He could say that is why he is looking abroad, as he's been unable to find his other half in his own country, and he has no intention of marrying twice.

I agree, a reasonable answer should be enough for most people.  I didn't marry until after 30.  I was asked but I just said I worked and traveled too much for a family when younger. 

[SANDRO43]

But the OP could explain that in his culture, it is not unusual for men to remain single if they have not met their other half.

It was not in our culture until comparatively recently, when unemployment swelled the ranks of stay-at-home sons considerably. In my time (Jurassic? ) our implicit cursus honorum was: finish your studies, get a job, and get married.

[fathertime]

But the OP could explain that in his culture, it is not unusual for men to remain single if they have not met their other half.  He could say that is why he is looking abroad, as he's been unable to find his other half in his own country, and he has no intention of marrying twice.

I agree, a reasonable answer should be enough for most people.  I didn't marry until after 30.  I was asked but I just said I worked and traveled too much for a family when younger. 

Both of these make perfect sense.   I think many, if not most women would get this, and if the corresponding actions of the man involved align with a man looking for a genuine long term relationship or marriage, then the woman would get over initial concerns she may or may not have.


Fathertime! 

[msmobyone]

"no woman wants you or that you are a playboy" isn't exactly "one" sweeping generalization.

''Being 36 yo and never married is an indication to them that no woman wants you''

THAT is what you said...  THAT is why I picked you up on such nonsense

If you had posted,

 ''Smart people do try to read a person's past history when evaluating them. All I'm saying is Bobimy needs to understand and prepare for that. I can't remember one woman I've dated that didn't ask about previous women in my life.''...

I wouldn't have bothered....


Personally speaking, I ran my own biz and worked long hours - then sailed at weekends....I never met someone that excited me enough to settle down or they weren't interested enough in me.  I married at 31.


Not 'being wanted' didn't appear - to me - to be a factor    I was content to the 'best man' - 13 times.

[LiveFromUkraine]

''Being 36 yo and never married is an indication to them that no woman wants you''

THAT is what you said...  THAT is why I picked you up on such nonsense

If you had posted,

 ''Smart people do try to read a person's past history when evaluating them. All I'm saying is Bobimy needs to understand and prepare for that. I can't remember one woman I've dated that didn't ask about previous women in my life.''...

I wouldn't have bothered....


Personally speaking, I ran my own biz and worked long hours - then sailed at weekends....I never met someone that excited me enough to settle down or they weren't interested enough in me.  I married at 31.


Not 'being wanted' didn't appear - to me - to be a factor    I was content to the 'best man' - 13 times.

I don't even know what you're arguing about any longer.   Is there a Moby rant translation app we can download?


What he said was true.  Don't tell me, if he had used the word "something something" you wouldn't have bothered but since he used "something something" you had issues and decided to argue. 

Really, Moby, no one here believes you didn't have enough time to meet women.  I can only imagine the amount of forums you argue on.  Or should I say trying to "win" on. 

[LiveFromUkraine]

Both of these make perfect sense.   I think many, if not most women would get this, and if the corresponding actions of the man involved align with a man looking for a genuine long term relationship or marriage, then the woman would get over initial concerns she may or may not have.


Fathertime!

It's strange to me.  It's better to be divorced than never married.  If you're divorce you had at least someone willing to marry you.  Being single means something is wrong with you since no one wanted to marry you.   What is it like in Colombia?


I don't think Bobimy will have a problem.  At least he is aware it may come up.

[fathertime]

It's strange to me.  It's better to be divorced than never married.  If you're divorce you had at least someone willing to marry you.  Being single means something is wrong with you since no one wanted to marry you.   What is it like in Colombia?


I don't think Bobimy will have a problem.  At least he is aware it may come up.

...and there is some additional validity to what billy said....many guys 30 or 35+ are perfectly content and well adjusted for whatever life throws at them..... but there are also a good percentage of guys that never married that do have genuine character issues that might make them a bad bet for a marriage minded woman.   So in that sense it is probably good that a woman exercise reasonable caution to try to determine who is who. 


 I have several friends in their late 40's now who have never married, to this point they each have things about them that would make marriage a tough sell and tough from them to handle.  I used to mention South America, Asia, or FSU to them, but I finally realized that there are certain guys that just aren't likely to match up well with a woman...they are better left to sleep in, drink their beer, and do exactly what they want, when they want...actually doesn't sound too bad!


Fathertime!   

[Trenchcoat]

hello,
I'm single 36  years old guy, never-married, tech-emplyed from italy. Looking for a wife. I registered here because I need some advices on how to move for the best and avoid scams. I'm planning a trip to Eastern Europe /Russia and would like to have some info. Do you have some suggestions on how to create some contacts in Russia? Online chats are okay?
Thank you very much!

Well I'm a similar age to you, and when ask the question why am I looking for a foreign woman I just state that women are career minded these days in the UK and not brought up to be interested in family, which is essentially the truth.

To your question I would say they are some pay monthly sites you could join and though many of these are the choice and far cheaper than PPL don't expect them to be free from scammers doing a scam of their own back. NEVER SEND ANY MONEY TO A GIRL OR YOU WILL NOT KNOW IF SHE IS INTO YOU OR JUST WANTS YOUR MONEY. For Example if she asks for travel money to travel to see you in FSU when you are there send her the train tickets (not any planes) as you can order them online nowadays. Make sure these scammer women know the days of pulling all these regular scams are over. Also, no clothes shopping trips until you are both serious or she is paying.

Now the one to watch for is women after freebies like a free holiday, even in their own country until you are serious about her (a soft scam gaining in popularity). Even though something is cheap to you it is likely worth more to her as Russia/Ukraine is dirt poor. Take any form of money or value out of the equation as much as possible until your certain she's genuine and serious. Ukraine is full of women that see WM as easy prey for money, be aware of that, Russia somewhat also. Some guys in here met there wives years ago when there was less of a scamming business, now it is rampant because many WM don't realise the true worth of money out there. Research every girl you get seriously interested in (VK etc). It takes a few months to really get to know what your dealing with and for me learning from there.

[BillyB]

''Being 36 yo and never married is an indication to them that no woman wants you''

THAT is what you said...  THAT is why I picked you up on such nonsense

You remove the "or" and everything else following out of the quote and say I made one sweeping generalization. It's your fault you're upset with what I said. Nobody else here has a problem with it.

[ML]

Well I'm a similar age to you, and when ask the question why am I looking for a foreign woman I just state that women are career minded these days in the UK and not brought up to be interested in family, which is essentially the truth.

I think you are kidding yourself if you don't think the FSUW aren't the same.

Sure they want to have a child, but then it is typical that the grandmother watches the child while the mother returns to work fairly quickly.

And they don't all work just out of necessity either, although it may be a necessity in many (most) cases.

My spouse and I don't need additional money, and she is in her 40s . . . and she still wants to work.

[msmobyone]

I don't even know what you're arguing about any longer.   

I am unable to help someone if even the bold text quoting of BillyB's initial sweeping statement...which he subsequently qualified...is beyond you.

What he said was true.

In response to my querying his first post... YES!


 

Really, Moby, no one here believes you didn't have enough time to meet women.  I can only imagine the amount of forums you argue on.  Or should I say trying to "win" on.

Fair enough! Your record re interpreting my life continues to be 'spot on'