romance tours

[Dave]

yea i think i will stick to the russian ladies. just wanted to see what you thought of latin. i think latin ladies are probably more exotic but id rather have the rw values and personality.

[jb]

maybe you have enough money so you can travel 6-7 times but for me,

Actually, Dave, I think at last count, I've been to the FSU 18 times now with another trip "back home" planned for this summer.

Once you get married the trips do not stop, your wife will want to go home to see family and friends from time to time.  Just thought you'd like to know.

[BC]

..its going to be a little strain on the wallet.

The strain on the wallet won't settle until a couple of years down the road.  Trips home, communications, clothing, books, entertainment, language and all the hoops you have to jump through add up quickly.

Don't underestimate the costs in this venture even after she arrives.. it's not cheap.  IMHO if you are thinking about loans, maxed cards etc to get there it's better to wait until you can finance it up front. Struggling to survive day by day is one thing but struggling to survive to meet payments caused her needs is another as she may feel 'responsible' for those debts.
 
Don't put your RW in a bad financial situation as she indeed may quickly feel (and rightly so) that it was better back home.

[jb]

BC, quite right.

Heck, I think all the BCIS fees for petitions filed after my wife got here would have paid for at least half another trip.

This is not something to be done on a shoestring, Dave.  I know one guy who did it all on his MasterCard and by the time his bride got here he was $50,000 in debt.  The thing you ought to do, IMHO, is access your financial situation carefully, decide how much disposable income you have to play with, and plan to visit the FSU with that disposable income, not debt.  Personally, I wouldn't go until I had my 6 month cushion, plus the $2-3K for the trip in the bank.  I think it's foolish to spend your cushion money because there have been lots of guys who get fired from good jobs the minute their employer learns he married one of them "gawddamned communists".
 
There are, you will learn, some very narrow minded people in this world.

[BC]

 I think it's foolish to spend your cushion money because there have been lots of guys who get fired from good jobs the minute their employer learns he married one of them "gawddamned communists".

Not to mention the women that get fired once wedding plans are 'leaked' and the employer knows she will be leaving anyway, adding support difficulties until she is able to leave.

What jb says may seem a bit remote, but being a small business employer myself it gets tough when someone seems very distracted at work, asks for unpaid leave and frequently comes up with various 'personal problems' because he needs time away to get his new family acclimatized and fully functional.

All in all it took me about 6 months after our wedding to get back to a normal business routine.. and the visa/immigration process was very quick-she arrived only two months after our wedding. My office is in my home which helped a lot during the initial adjustment phase.

Don't underestimate the time factor as well.

[jb]

Not to mention the women that get fired once wedding plans are 'leaked' and the employer knows she will be leaving anyway, adding support difficulties until she is able to leave.

This happened in our case and my wife lost her job in Moscow.  I had to support her during the time it took for the USBCIS to process her visa,,,, and that took 14 months from start to finish~!  It was like paying for the running of two households.  

As BC said, this ain't cheap.

[Bruno]

Of course it is not cheap but it is not a big problem...

The problem is to plan everything before... and search the cheap solution... when my first wife have come live with me, my income have rise a little ( not so much tax because of wife and children : two person who don't work )... i have find a course of Dutch and a professional course pay by the gouverment ( integration )...

The only problem i have not think about was health problem... when they have come in Belgium, the children was ill and she have no insurrance... for the 3 week hospital, i have pay almost 10000$... one half year work...

Now, i have a special insurrance... good for me and all the family who live at the same address... hospital are fully pay back ( only the first 150$ need to be pay by myself )...

NO, it is not expensive but you need to be ready and think about all can happend...

By example, if you have not one, take a insurrance about the loose of your work... if you loose you work, you have a loon pay each month during the first year... take a life insurrance... you don't know what can happen and stay a newcomer from russia without nothing will be not easy for her....

[Dave]

Of course it is not cheap but it is not a big problem...

The problem is to plan everything before... and search the cheap solution...

i couldnt have said it better myself. this is exactly what im trying to do. seems like some people(not you bruno) seem to want to give me financial advice that i never asked for though lol.

 

[jb]

Dave,

..its going to be a little strain on the wallet.

You wrote that, not me, or anyone else who might have chimed in with a try to help you understand the economics of this process.  And... in the context of that post, you were referring to the paltry sum of $3,000.  If you aren't able to cough up that sum, times 5, then you are going to get burned.  You will need something to the tune of $10,000 - 15,000 bucks in the bank, free and clear, you can spend this money chaseing skirts in the FSU, or going to Vegas and dropping it on the craps tables, I don't care which.  Be prepared to shell out a lot of cash if you are going to go into this.  Further, be prepared to spend vacation days, or unpaid leave, flying across the pond to bring the relationship to a point where you are comfortable asking someone to spend the rest of her life with you.  That's how high the stakes are in this game.  Do not think it's an easy thing, or take it lightly.  Many guys go over to Russia or Ukraine many times and come home empty handed, ask anono...

We tried to gently tell you that this isn't the inexpensive way to find a mate.  I wouldn't presume to give you financial advice, but I will tell you how much you can expect it to cost, the decision is ultimately yours.  

It's up to you to find the ways and means to chase your rainbows.

[Turboguy]

I will agree that this is not a cheap process.    I think when I head back to Russia in a month that is my 5th trip in a year, and I have more trips ahead of me.   You can travel a lot cheaper once you get past the stage where you need to go to socials and travel all over the place meeting this one and that one.    Apartments in the more out of the way places run $ 50-60 and in Moscow and St Petersburg run in the $ 100 +/- range.   Airfare is not bad if you are not going in the peak season and shop around. 

I think there used to be a saying about two being able to live as cheaply as one but whoever said that was a little nieve.

[ConnerVT]

5 trips in 12 months for me, totaling close to 3 months of time.  Last trip included airfare for three (my wife, my son, and me).  I've had a 15 month reprieve from the 10 hour ride in the silver tube, but now I'm again needing tickets to head back in June (when prices go up) so I'm scrambling for greenbacks again.

Ten RT airfares BTV to SVO easily have cost me $7000.  Throw in a half dozen visa at about $150 a pop (after fees and FedEx).  Damn!  Still haven't packed a suitcase, or found a room yet.  Listen to jb on this one, it's not an inexpensive proposition.

[jb]

Fred,(ConnerVT) brings up a valid point.  Since I live somewhere in the middle of the country, I just assume everyone has to pay same the airfares I do.  If a man lives on the east coast near NYC, he will pay a lot less than us schmucks in the middle do.  When I read he was able to make 10 trips for $7,000, I thought there was something wrong with his math because 10 trips for me is a lot more money, closer to $10-11K.

In any case its still a chunk of a guy's disposable income, and usually that means more no fun trips to Cancun or even Disney World while doing the FSUW thingy.

Even with the higher cost of fuel, surprisingly, airfares have not escalated too much.  My step-son just made a R/T via Moscow/Frankfort/Houston and return, for a shade under $800 with his student discount.  So the trips are still do-able, but it is an off season time of the year to travel, you just need someone to visit.  Waiting to travel during the peak summer months will run the cost up accordingly.  If a man wants to get more bang for the buck, I'd suggest buying a ticket for Feb-Mar travel if possible.

[ConnerVT]

Yeah, it took me a few moments to come up with that 'guessimate'.  $49 JetBlue fares to JFK, traveling mostly during the off-season (Does the sun ever shine there?), and a few great discount fare discoveries along the way has helped keep the cost under $10K.

Right now, it looks like we will need to pull our son from school a week early, but it will make the difference between three tickets at $850 vs. $1200 each.  The grand I'll save will help offset the cost of the new dining room table we need...

[jb]

help offset the cost of the new dining room table we need...

Did that happen to you too?  I had some pretty nice stuff in my house when she got here, but everything had "ghosts" from another life force that had lived here.

The first thing to go was the bed, then the kitchen stuff, then the old dining room furniture, next on the list is the sofa and love seat.  Thank God the TV and stereo was brand new.

Chalk up another area for money needed to settle a RW bride into your home.  If you have anything in the house that is obviously older than your divorce decree, it will probably need to be replaced with new stuff.   Don't ask me how they know, but they are somehow able to decern if another woman has ever slept in that bed, or cooked with that pot, or served guests at that table, or maybe cuddled with you on that sofa, trust me, those ghosts need to go.

[Goombah]

Ah good, one less problem for me to deal with...

I bought a new house and picked out all my furniture - without my future-ex's involvement.  It wasn't the plan, but she never moved in, so no "ghosts". <smile>

Kevin

[jb]

You are lucky, but you can imagine my chagrin when I chopped up the old dining room table and converted it to fire wood.

Nothing less would have worked.

[KenC]

jb,

You ol softie!!!  I still have my original bed.  LOL  (I told Lena that the bed was virgin to good sex)

KenC

[jb]

well, Ken, at least I killed all those ghosts

[Vaughn]

KenC:

I still have my original bed.  LOL  

Mine's long gone, as are the kitchen table & chairs, and practically all furniture. I have this Scottish elm dough box, circa 1780, fine piece, very elegant. She hates it! A month ago, we had friends over. That night, she whispers, "Vaw-gun, Natasha say me she think the old box looks like how you say? - child's CASKET! On LEGS!! The smart part of me knows that dough box is soon to be history - a mere consignment in an antique shop.

[ConnerVT]

help offset the cost of the new dining room table we need...

Did that happen to you too?[/quote]
 

I actually survived that pretty well.  No ex-wives (at least in the legal sense) to haunt my possessions.  The old counch and loveseat are history, and I'm actually enjoying their leather covered replacements.  The bed stayed, but then, it was a top of the line king.  Sure beats the pull out couch in our Russian apartment.