Wow this is awkward..

[GoodOlBoy]

It maybe sounds petty, but the bloke doesn't have a pot to piss in, he is a forklift driver and still is living with his mum (he is 38 y.o). We had a really good time together, but before we seal our connection with the passionate act of love I want to make a desision about the possibility of our potential future together. I am very ambitious person with the demand for certain life style. I am very confused 

Don't be confused Velena, shag away.
Go ahead with the "passionate act of love" and see how things work out from there!
Just don't do it in Mum's bed. :evil:


GOB

[SANDRO43]

I have a very good career and I am earning twice as much as he does. The life style we are living now is very different, our desires and expectations from life are different. I wonder if it can become a problem in a longterm.

I'd guess that'll become a HUGE problem in the SHORT term, unless either/both of you change dramatically your outlook since mutual chemistry (attraction) seems to work OK .

In other words, it all sounds alright on the physical plane, but the mental one kicks in, sooner or later . Is he going to upgrade, are you going to downgrade, or could you both meet halfway?

[GQBlues]

He doesn't have to provided it. I have a very good career and I am earning twice as much as he does. The life style we are living now is very different, our desires and expectations from life are different. I wonder if it can become a problem in a longterm.
P.S. I am Russian, but livung and working in UK. He is English.

Everything seems to be perfect, but there is one thing that I am worried about. It maybe sounds petty, but the bloke doesn't have a pot to piss in, he is a forklift driver and still is living with his mum (he is 38 y.o).

Therein lies the 3 components I spoke about....

Consumate the relationship and I'll give you less than 2 years (tops) till the time everything completely unravels and you'll find yourself in the same state you are in today. The only thing you stand to lose is 2 years of your life....

He simply threw you a pound and a half of the 3rd...women are really pretty easy.

If he satisfies your lust, have a full bowl, even seconds; but do so in a platonic relations so you're not in an expectant mode. Make sure you suppress your 2nd. Either one of you will soon reach a point and tire of each other and all will still be good.

Have fun with him and make sure he understands where you're at....

[Boethius]

He doesn't have to provided it. I have a very good career and I am earning twice as much as he does. The life style we are living now is very different, our desires and expectations from life are different. I wonder if it can become a problem in a longterm.
P.S. I am Russian, but livung and working in UK. He is English.

How are your desires and expectations in life different?  Some things are important (expectations of each other, children), some are not (career goals).

If you are having doubts this early, that's not a good sign.  Is it doubt, or just being overly analytical?

[Velena]

Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero
 Well, I suppose I can have some fun........ I am not in the mood to look for someone else now at all. Illusion will soon fade and I will find myself searching on the same old web site...... How sad it is!

[GQBlues]

Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero
 Well, I suppose I can have some fun........ I am not in the mood to look for someone else now at all. Illusion will soon fade and I will find myself searching on the same old web site...... How sad it is!

Dang right! I'm sure you can use a little R&R  Enjoy it to the fullest....just make darn sure you control your emotions...

[Shostakovich]

There are instead books like "The Enneagram" that prefer to classify people by personality type rather than by gender ...

Ya, that Mars/Venus biz is pretty lame: pop psych that paints with too broad of a brush.  But lo, an Enneagram fan on RWD.  Fan of Riso?  5w4 here.  Myer-Briggs type indicator (MBTI) is useful too as are Jung's concepts of the anima and animus projection.  If you really want to stir the pot then read the essay by the genius misogynist Schopenhauer: "On women".  The hipster gibberish these days tells that men and women are the same animals with different plumbing.  If it were just the different plumbing than that would be enough to propel men into different psychological spaces as the fact of pregnancy and birth presents one with an entirely different set of life experiences to contend with which precipitates different trends in mind.  But even science now catches up with what anyone with any sense has always known.  I think it was Time that presented recent finding showing significant differentials in mental potential that are divided by sex.  It would be interesting to study two MBTI or enneatypes for example my guess is that you'd find significant differences divided by sex.       

[Shostakovich]

If you really want to stir the pot then read the essay by the genius misogynist Schopenhauer: "On women". 

Read 'em and weep:

http://www.heretical.com/miscella/onwomen.html

Note the little symbol up on the web addr.

 

[ML]

Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero
 Well, I suppose I can have some fun........ I am not in the mood to look for someone else now at all. Illusion will soon fade and I will find myself searching on the same old web site...... How sad it is!

Someone else posted some sage advice in another thread, maybe based on some sociological studies, maybe just based on common sense observations.

This idea goes something like this:

Men will marry down in social status, education, wealth, etc., but rarely in looks.

Women will marry down in looks, but rarely in social status, education, wealth, etc.

So Velena, for the long haul, you will be facing thousands of years of genetic and environmental headwinds.

But I would certainly go for the short term pleasures before reality shows up.

Just remember for safety: always buckle your seatbelt and bring condoms; not to be used concurrently.

[Velena]

How true this is!!! Probably I will simply walk away from it and wait for my ugly but rich prince Charming!

[Chelseaboy]

Hello Velena,
                Your ugly but rich prince charming may never come along,and rich men can have their pick of women for fun,including 20 year old bikini babes.There  aren't enough wealthy men available for all the women that want them...fact.
My brother was working-class,living in a caravan, when he met his wife,university educated who earns very good money,and they have been happily married for ten years now.
If you both love each other,maybe you should follow your heart,and not worry so much about what he hasn't got ?
At least the man has a job,so you know he's not a lazy good-for-nothing.A man who has everything today can have nothing tomorrow,so it's the person that counts,not his lifestyle.

[Zeke0123]

UPDATE::

Well I did and didnt take advice from here...Im stubborn and figure I am smarter than the average bear..I felt that the "one" I was chasing might be one of the few legitimate women on that site "HRB" well I was wrong and just a tad lighter in the pocket for pursuing it..I have a good job so it was a mere pittance to me probably 100 or so bucks over 2 months but I found a few things id like to share with the community despite the embarrassment it may cause me.

The "one" is quite good probably a translator with great writing skills after 50 or so more emails back and forth (none of the sexual fantasy type) finally one night she says the will be on cam in a few hours so I figure WTF this may provide me with definitive proof of scam or not so I go for it and of course she is there looking very nice and very distracted by a cell phone call and looking back and forth between what I guess are some agency workers..I am typing away looking at her and I can tell no one is asking her any questions at all I would have expected some sort of  Q and A to happen but she is just sitting there looking very bored the answers come very slowly and with no detail at all she doesn't acknowledge anything I am typing when it is done.. no email asking about anything.. just a generic one that ive seen before about needing me and missing me.. so of course I am pretty upset I have allowed myself to get scammed this long..bummer but affairs of the heart leave you vulnerable.

but the one that REALLY pissed me off was another women that I had spoken with at length..I had decided long ago she was to young for me but she was nice and we had kept up some correspondence...mostly about day to day and stuff relating to pets..very smart girl with proficient english.. I had told her about my feelings that the site was a large land-mine with a lot of scams..she told me she was going to cancel her account because she had heard some similar stuff and I believe she did..well lo and behold I get a chat request from her right around the same time..so I accept and want to tell her what was going on..right away I ask her a question about her pet..something we had discussed at LENGTH before.. she not only failed to know the answer but she misspelled her pets name.. something that would NEVER happen and she  misspelled it multiple time and told me something about her being a maiden with a short memory or some such...not at all what this girl was like then she sent me a flirty email again something said girl would never do...So I am guessing she quit and now her account is some Zombie account being used to scam even more..very sad and disheartening.

anyways I guess its now time for me to give up for a bit..again thanks for all the advice and the support from this site..I appreciate it.

[Vova]

Don't give up, just try a better website that don't have as many scams.

[facetrock]

  Zeke its not hard at all to meet real women on the net, that is if your realistic. Stay away from the pay per letter sites and try the pay by the month sites. Once you get to know a few invite them to skype, its free. It amazes me that men would actually pay by the minute to chat with some gal on video.

[Eduard]

UPDATE::

Well I did and didnt take advice from here...Im stubborn and figure I am smarter than the average bear..I felt that the "one" I was chasing might be one of the few legitimate women on that site "HRB" well I was wrong and just a tad lighter in the pocket for pursuing it..I have a good job so it was a mere pittance to me probably 100 or so bucks over 2 months but I found a few things id like to share with the community despite the embarrassment it may cause me.

The "one" is quite good probably a translator with great writing skills after 50 or so more emails back and forth (none of the sexual fantasy type) finally one night she says the will be on cam in a few hours so I figure WTF this may provide me with definitive proof of scam or not so I go for it and of course she is there looking very nice and very distracted by a cell phone call and looking back and forth between what I guess are some agency workers..I am typing away looking at her and I can tell no one is asking her any questions at all I would have expected some sort of  Q and A to happen but she is just sitting there looking very bored the answers come very slowly and with no detail at all she doesn't acknowledge anything I am typing when it is done.. no email asking about anything.. just a generic one that ive seen before about needing me and missing me.. so of course I am pretty upset I have allowed myself to get scammed this long..bummer but affairs of the heart leave you vulnerable.

but the one that REALLY pissed me off was another women that I had spoken with at length..I had decided long ago she was to young for me but she was nice and we had kept up some correspondence...mostly about day to day and stuff relating to pets..very smart girl with proficient english.. I had told her about my feelings that the site was a large land-mine with a lot of scams..she told me she was going to cancel her account because she had heard some similar stuff and I believe she did..well lo and behold I get a chat request from her right around the same time..so I accept and want to tell her what was going on..right away I ask her a question about her pet..something we had discussed at LENGTH before.. she not only failed to know the answer but she misspelled her pets name.. something that would NEVER happen and she  misspelled it multiple time and told me something about her being a maiden with a short memory or some such...not at all what this girl was like then she sent me a flirty email again something said girl would never do...So I am guessing she quit and now her account is some Zombie account being used to scam even more..very sad and disheartening.

anyways I guess its now time for me to give up for a bit..again thanks for all the advice and the support from this site..I appreciate it.

HRB is an aggregator providing video chat and other technologies to hundreds of small local agencies in Ukraine to connect them with WM. From what I've heard, these local agencies are the ones who are running scam for the most part, so since HRB only provides the technology and doesn't initiate the actual scamming you can't really touch them. All the bad stuff is happening on Ukrainian soil. Your story is not unique. I've heard it many times from different men. Good thing is that you figured out what's what fairly fast.
Ed

[Vinnvinny]

HRB is an aggregator providing video chat and other technologies to hundreds of small local agencies in Ukraine to connect them with WM. From what I've heard, these local agencies are the ones who are running scam for the most part, so since HRB only provides the technology and doesn't initiate the actual scamming you can't really touch them. All the bad stuff is happening on Ukrainian soil. Your story is not unique. I've heard it many times from different men. Good thing is that you figured out what's what fairly fast.
Ed

Surely not Ed? I thought the due diligence team 'elsewhere' had reported that HRB had comprehensive audit and enforcement procedures to stop this kind of thing happening? 

[Jumper]

zeke-

your thread title was a bit foretelling?
awkward indeed, as now after asking advice on what you already felt was odd,
 you pursued what 2 pages  told you was something very questionable, and outlined why ,and outlined the other far more reasonable means to go about this.

Thanks for sharing your mistakes to help others..
it's a pattern oft repeated here and new guys should see it.

1.freshly divorced 30 to 50yo man finds a site like  RusskibabezRhot.wow
2.knows something is likley not legit ,does some research and finds some forum ... asks advice.
3. ignores advice ,and losses a few hundred to a few thousand , or makes a trip to find the woman/girl or agency  is only playing games.


It's understandable to be turned off by the experience,
but if the local sleazy used car salesmen tried to sell you a lemon.
would you stop looking for car?
or simply use a better means,or methods to find one..



good luck whatever you decide !

[kievstar]

Vinnyvinny, the guy doing the due diligence was not qualified.  How he got selected is comical.  

Lets give you a free trip and look at my operation.  Lets also select someone with less than 15 years in investigative auditing.  What do you expect the results to be.  

  

[Ravens9273]

HRB and Anastasia will stay in business no matter what others here write. many who come to this forum are using their services even though they do not want to admit it.
With that said,
For those who are using their services jooky had mentioned the website http://vkontakte.ru/
which is the Russian Facebook.
You can also get to the site by using VK.com

The main thing to understand with using those sites is to get communication going away from the site as soon as possible with the lady.
Here Vkontakte can be your best friend.
You have about a 90% chance you will find your lady there and the great thing is the site has a great search feature.
There is enough information in a ladies profile to find her without knowing last name. Vkontakte has a detailed search feature. You can search by first name, then city, age, birthday etc....

If the lady you are writting to is real then she will respond to you on Vkontakte and will not mind writting to you outside of HRB and Anastasia.
For anyone using those sites once the ice is broken in a few letters you need to take the other route.

[Zeke0123]

Well I guess my point was that at least as I read it the MAIN scam was the cam girls and old farts chatting emailing flirty dirty type stuff...In my time there I spent a grand total of less than 10 minutes on the cam BS..I probably have 4000 or so emails with about 3500 unopened..

My scam "radar" immediately went off when these young model types started chat request and emailing I never bothered...I looked for women closer to my age with children...I figured it would be worth negotiating through the "trash" If I connected..not so.. not at all.

I guess I am just a little shocked that it goes to that level just for that little bit of money.. but I guess maybe they were trying to set a bigger hook and get me to go out there etc...pretty *snip*ed up.

[Zeke0123]

zeke-

your thread title was a bit foretelling?
awkward indeed, as now after asking advice on what you already felt was odd,
 you pursued what 2 pages  told you was something very questionable, and outlined why ,and outlined the other far more reasonable means to go about this.

Thanks for sharing your mistakes to help others..
it's a pattern oft repeated here and new guys should see it.

1.freshly divorced 30 to 50yo man finds a site like  RusskibabezRhot.wow
2.knows something is likley not legit ,does some research and finds some forum ... asks advice.
3. ignores advice ,and losses a few hundred to a few thousand , or makes a trip to find the woman/girl or agency  is only playing games.


It's understandable to be turned off by the experience,
but if the local sleazy used car salesmen tried to sell you a lemon.
would you stop looking for car?
or simply use a better means,or methods to find one..



good luck whatever you decide !

Thanks AJ...I guess I figured since my intentions werent to meet some 25 year old toy it was a little different for me.. but it seems they target all types..my bad .

[Zeke0123]

  Zeke its not hard at all to meet real women on the net, that is if your realistic. Stay away from the pay per letter sites and try the pay by the month sites. Once you get to know a few invite them to skype, its free. It amazes me that men would actually pay by the minute to chat with some gal on video.

Thanks I will certainly be looking at alternative dating methods .

[facetrock]

Zeke. On sites like HRB and Aweb there is alot more money for them if you pay to read letters and watch a cam than there ever is if you come and visit. If you come to visit they can usually only scam you once but if you dont visit the scam can go on for years.
  
I agree with Ravens that these companys will be here forever.

[Jumper]

Thanks AJ...I guess I figured since my intentions werent to meet some 25 year old toy it was a little different for me.. but it seems they target all types..my bad .

zeke-
hey its all understandable-you dint spend anything really ,so no worries at all?

each place or method you try will have various degrees of risk.
It's simply much higher at agencies with this type of business model.

The thing you missed is that it is NOT personal, "they" or the particular RW (of whatever age) isnt out to bilk you or scam you in the classic sense, or looking for a big payout.
The agency makes dollars be thousands of guys like you spending just a little bit..
to the girls , it's often just as job (any age)
It is a business, you are one of thousands of men writing, and it generates decent income in the big picture,
(no need for individual scams ,and it would never be tolerated) 
and yes some girls, are indeed looking for a foriegn man as well.
Also the agencies involved are not stupid.. they know men look for both youth and beauty,and also for more mature women..
so you cant set somwe rabdom parameter to be safe, but it can decrease the risks..
unfortunantly at such websirtes the risk is only lowered slightly


While ravens lays out the way to search thru and find them,
the truth is you'd need to commit to some time and money spent there finding a serious person initially.
writing one opr two and having a couple of chats just isnt going to get you any results or find you anyone to contact directly thru VK etc.

you'd have to  fully commit to using that service ,by simply visiting in person,(as kievstar outlined)  or
by spending time and money to finding legitmate contacts able to move forawrd with, to other ways of direct communication.
   
in the meantime , you could simply use many other means and have likely as good of chance of hitting it off with someone without the extra hassles involved. (but you cant avoid the risks, only limit their frequency )

I have used such agencies, i knew the game well when i did so.
knowing going in allows you to sort thru and recognize some sincerity a bit faster ,but these type websites,
are just a very poor choice of websites to start out on.



There are a lot of good valid reasons to not pursue this ,
but getting a few thousdand "test" letters thru such an agency shouldn't jade you.
It should simply educate you a bit,on how to go about things better.. 

[Chelseaboy]

I disagree with AJ's comment.I think it is personal.What these agencies and agency women do is reprehensible,in that they play with men's emotions,and mislead them.
As Zeke said earlier,these must be some cold-hearted women,and it doesn't say much for FSU women in general,when so many of them are happy to scam foreign men,financially and emotionally. : (
Sure,not all the men contacting these women are nice guys,but a lot of genuine,sincere men are getting hurt by these agencies and their women.