Trip report - 1st day

[Trenchcoat]

That's some great advice GQBlues for Wall, I too am planning to ratchet down a little on the 'dating' to 'meeting' this time. No sending flowers or whatever in advance. If there's no chemistry then to be honest the last thing you want is a load of dates already set up with said lady. Myself I'll be starting my month over there with a WMVO to start with and on this basis a few dates I won't mind to get used to the city. If there's chemistry then I can always say that I've managed to arrange it so I can stay much, much longer. This will no doubt impress her that I've chosen to stay longer for her If no chemistry then I will enjoy her company (hopefully) as a friend for as long as it seems fit to go on doing the tour with her. Of course, expediency would suggest not to go on that long if no chemistry present. This is where I would switch from visit one to visit many - I'll use the online dating sites and other resources to bring up some women for numerous 'meets' as you've suggested GQBlues. However, if the first girl shows promise chemistry wise or another girl along the way I'll stick with/go to visit one only departing from this if things look like they might take a downturn.

From what I've learned that is the way to make sense of the situation since as Wall stated earlier is it seems silly to meet each girl 'specifically' on a 1:1 basis with little other strategy to switch to other than calling up another girl on a real short term basis like within a few days before leaving. Only thing I would say Wall as GQBlues correctly allures to is make sure you and the lady know where you're both at in terms of 'date' or 'meet' in an upfront honest way - rather than one think its a date and the other a meet. In other words, decide in advance whether what your doing at a particular time frame is dating or meeting. So for me I am planning to date at the beginning then if it doesn't work out, switch to 'meeting' women, if one of these turns into a date situation then I'll ease off/can the meets - which seems reasonable way to proceed to me.

My only thoughts so far is that girl you were interested in where it went south might have been put off because you weren't willing to commit to her - she knew this even though you didn't directly tell her. My thoughts are you could be in danger of this happening with the other girls you are going to see if they think you are playing them. So be careful how you organise it and set it up so its either meeting the girls or a date with just one of them, not a date with all within the same time frame      

[wallm]

[quote author=Trenchcoat link=topic=21360.msg454228#msg454228 date=1484093358
My only thoughts so far is that girl you were interested in where it went south might have been put off because you weren't willing to commit to her - she knew this even though you didn't directly tell her. My thoughts are you could be in danger of this happening with the other girls you are going to see if they think you are playing them. So be careful how you organise it and set it up so its either meeting the girls or a date with just one of them, not a date with all within the same time frame    
[/quote]

2tallbill gave me great advice earlier in this thread. I wish I knew it before I went to see her. She was the one. I screwed it up by seeing others. I didn't tell her I was planning to see anyone else. It is also possible that she got cold feet about leaving her country and coming here.

We had some amazing things in common. Not the usual "I love to travel." For example, we both loved Aviation History, Aviation museums and Air Shows. That is quite a coincidence.

I have to move on.

WMVM vs. WMVO.......a conundrum. Apparently FSUW do like VO.

http://blogs.elenasmodels.com/en/make-russian-ukrainian-woman-feel-like-destiny/

[Trenchcoat]

[quote author=Trenchcoat link=topic=21360.msg454228#msg454228 date=1484093358
My only thoughts so far is that girl you were interested in where it went south might have been put off because you weren't willing to commit to her - she knew this even though you didn't directly tell her. My thoughts are you could be in danger of this happening with the other girls you are going to see if they think you are playing them. So be careful how you organise it and set it up so its either meeting the girls or a date with just one of them, not a date with all within the same time frame    


2tallbill gave me great advice earlier in this thread. I wish I knew it before I went to see her. She was the one. I screwed it up by seeing others. I didn't tell her I was planning to see anyone else. It is also possible that she got cold feet about leaving her country and coming here.

We had some amazing things in common. Not the usual "I love to travel." For example, we both loved Aviation History, Aviation museums and Air Shows. That is quite a coincidence.

I have to move on.

WMVM vs. WMVO.......a conundrum. Apparently FSUW do like VO.

http://blogs.elenasmodels.com/en/make-russian-ukrainian-woman-feel-like-destiny/

They would but then there not spending X amount of money and time going to other person/country. I did a visit one last year for my first visit, but the chemistry was unfortunately not quite there although we got on very well together. Even she said to me at the end that she could she why guys would meet many girls (particularly US guys - due to travel time & cost) and would be fine with this, i.e understandable but that she would only accept it first time around not on second meeting with same guy.

I had a similar scenario in reverse, a girl on EM said she was coming over here to London on a 'business trip' she worked in a bank. She suggested a meet up, I agreed but let things slide as I realized that she didn't really suit me (she was into motor bikes and I'm not sure she looked like the type I would go with), I would have to travel up to London 100 mile journey, time out, etc. This was in the early days of my search when I cast a wide net encompassing those that would fall into the maybe column in order to be comprehensive in my search. The search was undisciplined and scattergun - I could have ended up in any city for a visit, my original plan of going to St. Petersburg went off track. I ended up skyping witha girl I liked and got on well with so I visited her for my first visit on a vo. I followed what Elena suggests but it did not work out - there was no chemistry there just likability. I enjoyed my time with her but it was not why I was there but I guess things could have worked out worse.

Anyway, point being is the girl I blew off on her London visit I guess there was a fair amount of 'well she's trying to turn the tables and meet as many guys as she could' - I don't blame her its the same as some of us do in reverse, but for a girl who was just in my maybe column I could not be assed to visit her to be one of many. Perhaps I didn't like the fact also that she was trying to gain power/dominance over the situation - I would have probably forgiven her if she was real hot looking though Difference is though if she was a frontrunner of my selection of girls I would have gone to meet her in London whatever, but she was not she was also ran. Perhaps she would have just met me, I would have no way of knowing so like girls in the reverse situation I assumed she would be meeting others.

So for sure a girl is likely to be less keen if she thinks you are meeting many, even if you tell her you are I think its probably little better. Better I think is to bring them up one at a time whether for a 'date' or a 'meet' then they literally are the only one 'at that time' but allowing for sufficient timescale and resources/strategy if there is no chemistry there, hence my strategy above. I think many girls will stick with a guy for a number of days even if there is no chemistry, but a girl who thinks she is not the only one and there is also no chemistry won't hang around long, hence why the second girl I met left after just the first date/meet.

I think the likelyhood of making mistakes the first time out is high, I made a few but I'm not use that it would have made a difference for me. I think Elena works on the 'doing everything a certain way' which is fine but if the chemistry is not there then it will not matter anyway I think. I think your in a bit of a situation Wall in that you seem to be looking or agreed to meet several girls in the same time frame on your second outing. I'm not sure if there is a way out of this, you may just have to go with the flow and learn from it and enjoy what's there. If there was chemistry with the girl you messed up with and you held onto all your cards for too long for fear of giving up the lesser cards then I'm not sure whether this can be rectified now. Others on her might be able to help out on this though I suspect they might say its a lost cause now. I think you're best of going forth and try and make the best of the situation what you can.

[msmob]

She was the one. I screwed it up by seeing others. I didn't tell her I was planning to see anyone else. It is also possible that she got cold feet about leaving her country and coming here.

We had some amazing things in common. Not the usual "I love to travel." For example, we both loved Aviation History, Aviation museums and Air Shows. That is quite a coincidence.

I have to move on.

WMVM vs. WMVO.......a conundrum. Apparently FSUW do like VO.

http://blogs.elenasmodels.com/en/make-russian-ukrainian-woman-feel-like-destiny/

Wallm

If you truly felt this way..

TELL her.

If you think she is worth it..GO there and tell her.. 'I screwed up'

[ML]

About Last Night... (1986)
Demi Moore and Rob Lowe

This is a perfect movie to watch for those who think they screwed up with a gal and want to get another chance with her.

We watched this some time ago.
It is a really good story . . . an actual love story.

The guy turns the gal out, then wants her back when he realized she was the best ever.

She rebuffs him twice . . . even when he tells her he really, really loves her; but in the end she goes back to him.

[wallm]

Wallm

If you truly felt this way..

TELL her.

If you think she is worth it..GO there and tell her.. 'I screwed up'

I will pass. She has been completely unresponsive. Ignored my messages for the last 6 weeks after telling me "we need to be patient." Ignored my new year wishes. If she wants me, she can pursue me.

The last message from her said this, word for word.

"how are you how is work?"
I responded "great. I miss you."
She says "I really miss you my dear. we need to be patient."

That was the last conversation. I think she prefers a local guy and views me as a backup plan at best.

ML might say "she is out of your league."
That is right. She is out of my league looks wise. Gorgeous. A 10. In everything else, I am out of her league.

While I want a woman who is attractive, as I get older I desire emotional compatibility just as much.

[msmob]

Well, I can see you have figured out that she wasn't 'the one'.. You wised up...

Good luck

[Trenchcoat]

I think she prefers a local guy and views me as a backup plan at best. Fuk that.

ML might say "she is out of your league."
That is right. She is out of my league looks wise. Gorgeous. A 10. In everything else, I am out of her league.

That's the problem I guess I was thinking of when I brought up my other thread, 'Are some girls too hot to be true?' that those that are straight 10's in the looks department, well I doubt they are going to be short of decent local guys, that's before you get to those men with 10's in some area from abroad. Chances are though she is going to be inundated with attention from local guys too much to have much time for foreign guys. Occassionally it might happen but I think their lifestyle would likely subjugate most foreign guys down the list a fair way if indeed they can even get a look in, in the first place.

[BillyB]

that those that are straight 10's in the looks department, well I doubt they are going to be short of decent local guys, that's before you get to those men with 10's in some area from abroad. Chances are though she is going to be inundated with attention from local guys too much to have much time for foreign guys.

Lots of beautiful ladies out there consider marrying foreign men. They will have lots of attention from local men. This is not a problem if you beat your competition. Beautiful ladies can be just as faithful as the ugly ones when they decide on one man.

[Trenchcoat]

Lots of beautiful ladies out there consider marrying foreign men. They will have lots of attention from local men. This is not a problem if you beat your competition. Beautiful ladies can be just as faithful as the ugly ones when they decide on one man.

Could be true, I guess if an attractive girl is used to guys hitting on her its nothing special but an unattractive one with two guys hitting on her it might go to her head and start messing around. Of course the attractive girl is more likely to get other guys up with chemistry on a more frequent basis, but if she settles on you first and is the loyal type then maybe.