What makes you go 'all in' with a foreign man?

[Turboguy]

Turboguy, you are getting philosophical coming off as someone who have been away from the battlefield for quite a while, seeing that you have been married for 5-10 years. Unfortunately, in the battlefield things are still rather primitive:

Guy's perspective: Decent girl = Hot, plesant behaviour
Girl's perspective: Decent guy = Hot, rich, or both; must be at his prime age (25 - 40).

There is however a second paradigm for FSUW, which makes FSUW so sought after even to this day, given all the scams and risk. The paradigm I am talking about, is that some FSUW are willing to opt for a relationship with minimal love, but financially secure (the preferred term is strong man).  The way I see it, a man is considered decent if being with him, there will be tangible improvements to the women's life.The same paradigm also applies to Asian women which is why you see the same high demand from western men.

Mroz87, you have made some interesting posts here but I am not sure I agree with everything.  Yep, I have been out of the battlefield for a while and the armor is dusty and the sword rusty.  My marriage was nearly 7 years ago.  I was in the battlefield both here and abroad longer than most.  I guess my search spanned about 15 years and 25 trips.  I started in the catalog and snail mail days and ended before the days when Skype became a major tool.  Still FSU women still have two arms and legs and men still make trips.  I would say things are no more primitive now than them.

You said  "Guy's perspective: Decent girl = Hot, plesant behaviour"   

I am sure the hot women on the front page of dating sites does draw in a lot of guys dreaming of a hot girl.  I do think the motivation for men in finding a "Decent Girl" is more than just hot and pleasant.   I think some of it is less baggage, less craziness, and a higher priority on treating their husbands well.  Basically I have to agree with you to a great deal but rather than Hot I think most just want a woman who is more attractive than they can get here.  Sometimes that is hot and sometimes it is just better looking than the women they date in the USA.

"Girl's perspective: Decent guy = Hot, rich, or both; must be at his prime age (25 - 40)."

This one I am not so sure I agree with.  Needing to be between 25 & 40 would preclude most of the guys who are married on this forum.  Rich would also exclude a very large percent of the married guys I have met.  Hot would eliminate all but a handful of the ones I have met.  My impression has always been that FSU women place less emphasis on some things and look more for a man who they feel will be a good husband.  Most want to have a guy who will be a good husband, who makes enough money that they can have a normal life without financial worries and who isn't a drunk.  Sure there are a few who want a rich husband who will ply them with diamonds and have them driven around in limos' but those are the exception. 

You said "but financially secure (the preferred term is strong man)"  Perhaps I have misunderstood this term but I always took "strong man" to be something totally unconnected with "financially secure".   I have always interpreted that term to be someone with some alpha male characteristics.  Someone who isn't wishy washy.  Someone who can make decisions and take control of a situation.  Someone who acts like a man.

You said "The paradigm I am talking about, is that some FSUW are willing to opt for a relationship with minimal love, but financially secure (the preferred term is strong man).  The way I see it, a man is considered decent if being with him, there will be tangible improvements to the women's life.The same paradigm also applies to Asian women which is why you see the same high demand from western men. "

I have to agree that some women both from the FSU and Asia will marry a guy they think they can fall in love with.  I think the motivations are a little different between the two though.  I think AM in general are thought of as good husband material in some parts of the world. In the FSU the motivation is part for a better life, part because finding a good husband is hard, particularly if they have one or more kids, that FSU men tend to be a bit spoiled and tend to drink heavily.  I think with Asian women the poverty level there is worse and a husband who can provide a good life is not easy to find.  I think Asian women also are very family oriented and hope to marry abroad with the goal of being able to send money back to help their family.  FSU women tend to be appealing because they are often slender and shapely, attractive and value a husband.  Asian women tend to be submissive and are more traditional in that they are more content to be housewives and mothers.  Sometimes the men that are attracted to Asian women are not the kinds of men who really would be good husbands and if one of those married an FSU woman she would likely hand him his balls on a platter. 

[calmissile]

Good post Turbo.  I agree 100% with your comments.

[Slman]

I have been traveling all over the world by virtue of my work. With my friends various nationalities, we have been discussing the life in RELATIONSHIP. The conclusion is for Harmony in Relationship you need trust, respect, love, understanding and reliability. This is constant to all. Irrespective of Religion or location. Money is important for comfortable living but everyone cannot be rich. It does not have real affect. If you are happy for what you have. happiness is state of mind.

It is said that All that glitter is not Gold. Well there are many millionaire people around the world. What you think they are happy. No way. They are engulfed in there own depressions and problems. Worldly they look happy but in there heart they are suffering. This is very common with rich people.

Better to streamline your priorities in relationship. Then go for what you want to make your inner soul happy.

[ML]

It is said that All that glitter is not Gold. Well there are many millionaire people around the world. What you think they are happy. No way. They are engulfed in there own depressions and problems. Worldly they look happy but in there heart they are suffering. This is very common with rich people.

I think a better outlook is what Pearl Bailey once said, "I've been rich and I've been poor and rich is better."

[BillyB]

It is said that All that glitter is not Gold. Well there are many millionaire people around the world. What you think they are happy. No way. They are engulfed in there own depressions and problems. Worldly they look happy but in there heart they are suffering. This is very common with rich people.

 Money doesn't buy happiness but being poor doesn't bring happiness either.

[nic80b]

at least being poor makes you work harder and gives you hope that one day, you may be rich, or at least, less poor.

on the other hand, being born with a golden spoon in the mouth could easily make you lazy, and versatile regarding your choices in life.

 

[2tallbill]

 Money doesn't buy happiness but being poor doesn't bring happiness either.

Money can't buy happiness, but poverty doesn't buy anything.

Zsa Zsa Gabor