4 dates via Agency in Odessa last week - have I been scammed, or is she legit?

[Gator]

My, my . . . such a cruel man to a woman in need.

I realize you are making a joke when you may be thinking I was not cruel, just stupid.   

She  had never been to second base.    Yet she was attractive with D-cups.   Her past dates were young and jumped to first base, and it turned her off.   

 
Her innocence and upper class aura  were so much I did not feel passionate.   I just wanted to talk.   However, I could have taught her something and I would have been caring.   If I were not dating other women at the time (1970s) my hormones perhaps would have trumped my conscience so much I may have been the same as the men before me.   

[ML]

I realize you are making a joke when you may be thinking I was not cruel, just stupid.   

In this case, I was not being 'round about.'

I actually think you were being cruel to the woman.

She wanted physical.  Because she was special, she needed a special touch for her first time.  You were much more experienced and smooth than the average younger man she would likely come into contact with.

There used to be a tradition with upper class young men in Europe (so I have read) wherein the father, or uncle or a close family friend would arrange for the young man to meet with and get 'lessons' from older experienced women (courtesan).

I think it was a good system, and one which would benefit young women also.

[Gator]

I actually think you were being cruel to the woman.

I admit I could have taught her much without taking her treasure, which was even more sacred in those years.   And we could have stopped at any point along the journey. 

Probably should have helped her.   That is why I was tormented by my thoughts for some time afterwards.   It had not crossed my mind in years, and being reminded by Muzh's post I asked him if he had second thoughts. 

Let me guess ML - you have never turned down sex.  Not being critical, just suggesting everyone is different. 

[ML]

Let me guess ML - you have never turned down sex.  Not being critical, just suggesting everyone is different.

One instance comes to mind.  Not that it was a definite sex, but . . .

A graduate student was working with one of my small companies.  Age 23 or so.  I was at least 30 years older at the time.

I had known her for several years before employing her; can't remember how we first became acquainted.

She liked the outdoor life and had grown up on a large farm, even as her father was a medical doctor.

Once, when I bought several wooded acres in the area, she said she wanted to go visit with me.

She had told a few weeks before how her parents were starting divorce procedures, and she was sort of caught in the middle and they both were using her to convey messages to the other, etc.  It was quite stressful to her and she had shown 'breakdown emotion' at work a couple of times that I had observed.

Anyway, out in the woods we had to cross over some small creeks, fallen trees, etc.  Can't remember which, but I took her hand to help her over in those cases.  After one such incidence she kept holding onto my hand, pulling it into her body and said . . . why don't we just stay here for awhile.

The thing I remember is that I immediately thought that this was all due to her stress and she just wanted someone to be close with, and perhaps even intimate . . . and that it had nothing to do with any real attraction to me.

So based on the 'no real attraction' and her distressed state of mind, I just kept us walking along.

I think in this situation the appropriate call was to take no  action.  I think in your (Gator's) situation the appropriate call  was to take action.

[Boethius]

I appreciate the fact you are a lawyer, and a FSU woman yourself.

To clarify, I am not an FSUW.  I am of Ukrainian descent, and lived in Kyiv for a time.


The issue with marrying a woman with a child is the one you encountered - an ex who wants joint custody or visitation with his child.  He may be sincere in that desire, or it may be to spite his ex.  But either way, it puts a wrench in your plans.