a good woman, just not a 10

[ScottinCrimea]

Okay, time to turn this thread around.  It's been claimed (with some truth) that men look to the FSU for wives because they want a younger model.  So why are the FSU women looking to the West?  Because they can't find a local man who can give them what they want, which in most cases is financial stability.  As many Western men as there are that want a hot young wife, there are just as many FSU women that want a rich husband of any age.  Many of these men are willing to settle for a 6-7 in looks and many of these women are willing to settle for a man with a "comfortable" income, but the fact remains that this is a factor, if not THE factor, in looking outside their own country.  How many of these FSU women would settle for an AM who was unemployed or working at minimum wage with no chance of things ever getting any better? My guess would be none, no matter how cute, understanding, intelligent the man might be, because he doesn't meet her desire/need for financial stability.  The only exception might be the financially well off woman who can provide that stability for herself, but they are still the exception in the FSU, and few if any would be willing to risk that on a man who cannot contribute equally.  So as much as men can be called shallow if they consider physically appearance as a factor,  women can also be considered shallow if they consider finances as a factor.

[Gator]

Scott,

Such women are shallow if money is their sole motivation.

[ScottinCrimea]

And such men are shallow if looks and youth are their only motivation.  I didn't think there was any debate on this.  The point was that this thread has been bashing men because this is a factor for them while ignoring the fact that money is a factor for women.  I don't think any man looking for a wife in the FSU cares how much money she makes or if she is even working, but you better believe it's a big issue with the women looking for husbands.  Now if looks or money is the ONLY factor, it's not only shallow, it's stupid, but neither side should be bashed for saying it is ONE of the factors.

[Elen]

Elen, you criticize older men who chase younger women.  Do you also criticize the young RW who choose such a man?   Today young RW have many choices, to include young men. 

Cases are diffrent but in majority cases I happened to see I pitied them Because such a choice was either because of pure calculation or because of "desperation"  due to some reason ( that reason which if there was no of it then a choice of husband would be another) Both cases deserved my pity. So that's pity not criticizing.

In some cases you will find shallow men who seek little more than youth and beauty.  Other men will demand more and will not accept a younger woman without certain added qualities, regardless of her beauty. 

 How nice of them to DEMAND something else from a young hot girls 
 Well may be that makes males in their own eyes more "deep" but I still count those males who refuse to "demand"    anything from a women if they are not young enough and not beauty enough like shallow. I hope you get a difference

 

Some men will stand in the way of his wife’s happiness.  Other men will guide her, assist her and do whatever else it takes to help her achieve what she wants in life.   And believe it or not Elen, some women are happy is such marriages even if you tell them they are unhappy.

<shrug> I do believe, why there would not be such women And I tell nothing to those women.
 
 It just THIS thread is about what is 47 years old good woman who is happened to be not not 10 ( shame on her for that) supposed to do if males wish to guide and help only young and beautiful women 

[Daveman]

okay, realizing I'm going way off topic with this...

I think something which is often overlooked is a more fundamental argument for a *woman’s* “shallowness”.  I have dealt with this one time and time again.  Most women like tall men.  It’s a simple fact.  You can hear them gleefully chatting about it with there friends when they meet someone new and begin to describe him “hehehehehe, well, he’s tallllllllll, etc etc etc.”

This is not a jab a tall guys, or really at the women who love them.  As far as I am concerned, it’s merely a preference.  But, go through profiles of women on any American dating site, most will always say “He must be tall…. Etc etc etc”, or say something like “over 5’10” (178cm), or something like that. Many even state “over 6’0” (183cm).

There was a chatroom on one of the sites of which I was a member for a while. I listened to guys talking about receiving a few or even many new letters each day.  I received about one new “flirt” or “email”, or positive response to my ‘flirts’ every two or three days, sometimes only 1 in a week.  Hmmmmmm, I had great photos, a great essay, everything about my “Ad” was absolutely top notch, with one single exception, I am 5’7.75  (172cm) so my profile listing showed 5’8 (172.72 cm) as that was the closest choice.  Obviously I am not a tall man. 

Just for the hell of it, I changed it one day to 6’1 (185cm) to see what would happen, and for the next week, I received at least 4 or 5,  new emails, “flirts” or positive responses to my “flirts” each day. Coincidence?  I don’t know. You tell me.

Of course not all women have this ‘requirement’ because I certainly did receive some replies, and I’ve had my share of relations over the years.  With my FSU relations, the first two ladies were both taller than me, the current one is not.  But, I do know it’s most definitely a factor for many women, and even my responses on Elena’s Models were far less than the normal number of responses for men.  I’m not complaining, because I certainly have nothing to complain about. I am simply stating the facts.

I also remember a conversation between a few waitresses at a bar where I worked as a bartender during my university years.  It was after hours and the girls we sitting at one of the tables near the kitchen (I was in the kitchen area and I could hear their conversation.  They actually began talking about me.  “He’s really cute.. etc etc… but he’s so short!! I could never marry a man unless he’s tall. I couldn’t take him seriously!. I want a real man.”  And the other girls all began making comments in agreement. I thought ‘what?’, I didn’t realize that I’m not a real man.

But, the truly funny part… a few minutes later, she began to talk about how *shallow* men are for wanting women with “big breasts”.  And again, they all agreed how shallow men are because of this!! (only one had “big” breasts, and she seemed quite proud of them)  I had to laugh at the irony.  I personally have a preference for smaller breasts. I really don’t want stretch marks around my lips and I think those big bouncy, floppy, bobbly, whoppy, whappy breasts just get in my way (though I agree, there *are* some good benefits).  Nevermind.

As for me personally, I don’t give a hairy rat’s rump what people want (though I admit, I don’t carry a bag of rat’s rumps around with me for those charitable moments), as long as they just go for it and don’t be pretentious about it.   

But, life is both comedy and tragedy, eh??  It *is* a splendid thing.

Dave

[Elen]

No Elen, it was my intention to say it twice. I meant that the woman who is going to compete on the dating market should work on her appearance and to make herself as attractive and interesting as possible. It seems to be of paramount importance.

By appearance I mean everything that appears out of her That would include not only body, face, hair, clothing, but also her demeanor, posture, manners, voice, conversation. She may still not make it to a 10, but a thourogh work on herself would definitely upgrade any woman in the looks department.

Ah I see  It's just I'm more big specialist in Photoshop than in competition for males' attention,  I just never did something special to win such a competition ( so no experience in that fight for a "prize" ) and I would fail for sure at this MARKET

[Elen]

okay, realizing I'm going way off topic with this...

I think something which is often overlooked is a more fundamental argument for a *woman’s* “shallowness”.  I have dealt with this one time and time again.  Most women like tall men.  It’s a simple fact.  Dave

I'm shallow in that matter as well But after all I'm only 164 so I "demand" not such many

[ScottinCrimea]

Daveman, staying off topic for awhile, I have to admit I have noticed this also.  I'm 5'9" so not much taller than you.  I did see many women's profiles with a preference for a tall man.  One time on my profile I listed that I preferred thin women and you should have seen the amount of letters from "BBW"S" blasting me about my shallowness and challenging me to try them out if I wanted to know what it felt like to be with a "real" woman.  It was interesting to see these women's own profiles as they had no problems expressing their preferences but took offense if a man's preferences were not a match for them.

I think I am like most men.  I have a certain range of age, looks, height, weight, education, etc within which I am willing to look for a partner.  for example, I have no preference as far as hair color, and height isn't an issue.  As long as they are tall enough to touch the ground, that's fine with me.  I don't care about boob size as long as they are roughly the same size. Some people's range is a lot narrower than others but I don't know at what point we call them shallow.  I think most of us tend to call someone shallow when we don't personally fit into their range for any particular attribute.

[Elen]

I think women"s "shallowness" in a case with a height comes from their own height at least while males' demand for youth-beauty-slim body and etc rare has something in common with their own appearences That's a difference

[Globetrotter]

OK, now I know I'm the oddball here.  10 years difference was almost too much for me and I told her I wished she was older or me younger.  Her response was that my parents were 8 years apart and were in love for almost 60 years.

If things don't work out with her, I'd look for someone older...48, 52 or my age.  I wanted to find someone who wants me, but doesn't need me, someone whose character was above reproach, who treated people with kindness and respect, a sence of humor, a high sex drive.  Fortunately she has all these qualities.  Whereby she's not rich, I'd say she's well off and likes her life as I like mine, basically a happy person.  I don't think there's any substitute for life experience with a few bumps along the road, and how you handle them.  She does nicely in all facets, as age, experiences and ones past performances do have benefits.  

I can't do it any other way or I'd be pissing up a rope.  She loves Russia.  Her 70 year old Mom doesn't want her to go, and she doesn't need to financially.  She likes Hondas, not BMW's or Bentleys.  I find myself telling her Mom that she can get a visa without even an interview, that her daughter can come home as often as she wants, that I'll set up a computer/webcam in her house, that my sister and her French husband and 2 kids live in Paris, and their relationship is certainly successful.  If these issues get sorted out, we are closer to pulling the trigger.  The only other thing is that we become best friends.  We're close but not there yet.  

I couldn't care less if she was a shop girl and she couldn't care less if I worked in an auto parts store.  I'm 6'1, and 180, been working out all my life, and some even think good looking.  

She's been here twice, I've been there 3 times.  She's made friends here, loves it here.  Everyone who has met her just adores her.  She'll get an office/library...her space, etc., etc.  Work as a doc, a research scientist, a stay at home Mom...or anything she wants to do, I would support.  She just needs to love me more than her "Motherland".  If she opts out, I'll understand.  Disappointed, but not devestated.  Our new plan is to see each other every 6 or 8 weeks.

Well, those are my "wife specs" and each to his own.  But if I was not with who I am, I'd certainly be interested in someone 47 or older.

Cheers        

[ScottinCrimea]

Elen, why should the woman's own height matter?  Is it such a big deal to have a husband shorter than her?  Why other than her concern about what others might think or say?  Still sounds kinda shallow to me.

[Elen]

Elen, why should the woman's own height matter?  Is it such a big deal to have a husband shorter than her?  Why other than her concern about what others might think or say?  Still sounds kinda shallow to me.

Sorry there is NO resonable explanation for such a phenomen But you don;t count to get anyting resonable from females do you?  It's just feeeeling that male MUST be taller than a woman (  ...on heels  - I mean WOMAN on heel  )

http://forum.antidate.org/index.php?showtopic=3402&hl=

3+ pages of discussion "height" problem at antidate forum if you wish 

[LEGAL]

Ah I see  It's just I'm more big specialist in Photoshop than in competition for males' attention,  I just never did something special to win such a competition ( so no experience in that fight for a "prize" ) and I would fail for sure at this MARKET

In a few years I will be 40y.o. woman. Does it mean that I will not do my best  to be always special woman for my husband? Since the beginning of time the women do something special to win a competition with time and fight with time for a "prize" to be special woman for her man but before she has to attract her male's attention. It is normal and it is great when a  woman has a desire to be always a woman and special woman. It is terrible when a woman forgets that she is the Woman...  

Russian proverbs says - one meets people by their clothes, and says farewell by their mind,  therefore the mind and soul of person have to be side by side with the person's appearance.

[Elen]

You missed a point I was speaking about COMPETITION for a male. I never did such a thing and am not going to do. 

[Vaughn]

Elen and Olga,

I went over to the antidate link on male height and ran across this
phrase, which appears to be an anecdote of sorts. Can either of
you help me understand the meaning or humor?

Мал клоп - да вонючь

Vaughn

[Elen]

  Chinch is little but produces a huge stench - that's about short males  who in many case have a lot of complexes which make them hard to dealing with

[Vaughn]

Спасибо, Elen.

[Elen]

BTW it is not "a joke" It's "folk wisdom" tested by centures

[LEGAL]

You missed a point I was speaking about COMPETITION for a male. I never did such a thing and am not going to do. 

Some women  eating doughnuts read  "The philosophy of Existentialism" and go to bed alone damning all men because they pay no heed to her bright mind... When this woman  looks at herself in the  mirror she pays no heed to  blackheads on her greasy  skin and big belly... and she is not going to do anything... only to damn the men who prefers the nice looking women...  

[Elen]

still missing a point 
taking care about own look and taking participation in competiton for males with a help of look are different things Anyway to each her own.

[LEGAL]

Elen and Olga,

I went over to the antidate link on male height and ran across this
phrase, which appears to be an anecdote of sorts. Can either of
you help me understand the meaning or humor?

Мал клоп - да вонючь

Vaughn

If we talk about politics:

Sometimes the "dirty" politicians use this ironical expression saying about an ordinary journalist who is saying  truth about dirty business of these politicians. Of course an ordinary journalist is just "small bug" for such "big" people and truth of this "small bug"  stinks...

or

a petty politician tries to make a big "hullabaloo" ...

Olga.

[Gator]

The Russian phrases you ladies use are rather colorful yet paint a disgusting picture.

Elen,

Pity?  If these younger women are happy, I see no reason why you would feel pity for them.  Pity would suggest that you know more about what they want than they do about themselves.   Unless a person is insane, I believe that they usually know what makes them the happiest.

Few of the RW I met would deserve or want your pity. I imagine the wives of RWD men are in the same category, although not all married much older men.

The RW I dated were not desperate, and had choices in men.  Yet they expressed an interest in me, probably the oldest man they knew.  Two became romantically involved with me, and there were other RW who quite possibly would have done the same if I had pursued it further.   All had choices.

Yes, to each his own.

[Daveman]

Sorry there is NO resonable explanation for such a phenomen But you don;t count to get anyting resonable from females do you?  It's just feeeeling

But I FEEEEEEEEL like i'm 190cm tall, so nothing else should matter.. does that count?? 



But.. THIS... THIS...... THISSSSSSSSSSS  is simply hitting below the belt!!! 

  Chinch is little but produces a huge stench - that's about short males    who in many case have a lot of complexes which make them hard to dealing with....

BTW it is not "a joke" It's "folk wisdom" tested by centures

Move over tall guys, here comes Napoleonic Dave!  Or is that one of the complex stenches? 


Dave

edit: removed  jokes which seemed disrespectful to the board and especially the ladies in this thread.  I apologize to anyone who had already read it.

[Elen]

Gator I said " cases were different" and I said "cased I happened to see " Also in other post I said why would not be such women how are happy with that
And I was answering at a question if I criticized such women ( if you are going to tell me there is NOTING to be a target for criticizing then you are some far from reality )

 When I meet your women your were dealing with I mabe be get somethig to tell about. Till that  happy for me times I answere to such question in that way according with that experience I dealt with.

Some else questions to ME ?  

[Kvinna]

who in many case have a lot of complexes which make them hard to dealing with

other version
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