USA Guy looking for info before I take the plunge and travel to Ukraine

[theNWKI]

Hello Im probably the worlds stupidest guy romantically but, tired of USA dating sites where women dont answer you back or seem to be FEMINAZI's that are single for a good reason....after getting scammed by a Russian lady and sick of charges on sites like Victoria Hearts....Im looking for advice here....Thanks in advance Eric

[DaveNY]

Hi Eric. Welcome to RWD.

My first piece of advice is to learn a little Russian. Most/many women in eastern Ukraine will speak Russian as their first language. If they're 30+ and for sure if they're 40+ Russian will probably be their first language. The Ukrainian language is enjoying a revival in some areas so some of the under 30 crowd might lean more to Ukrainian than Russian especially if they live in the west of the country.

If you think Ukrainian women are less likely to scam you than Russian women you're going to be disappointed. Take a look on AFA or other popular websites and the number of Ukrainian women far outstrips Russian women. The reasons why are obvious. War and the economy in Ukraine.

Another piece of advice is to go to Ukraine for a vacation if you have the time and money. Not looking for women but just to visit the country. See if you like the country, people, the culture and the food. My wife is Russian. I lived and worked in Moscow for years. We visit regularly. If you marry a Ukrainian woman you will probably be visiting the country every few years. You'll end up living the culture and food at home to some extent. This is something you should learn to accept.

A little about my life married to a RW to show you what might be your future. I was visiting Russia on business in the late 90s when I meet her. Didn't speak more than a few words and phrases of Russian. Married her after a year of dating and when I was bought out moved to Moscow. Lived and worked there for 6 years before returning home.

Now have 2 kids. We tend to speak Russian at home due in part to raising our kids as bilingual. Eat lots of Russian food although my wife can cook American staples such as meatloaf and mashed potatoes, steak and lasagna. Since there is a large FSU community in NYC we have a number of Russian friends as well as those from other parts of the FSU. Your life will change if you end up marrying someone from a different culture. This is something you must be prepared for if you want your marriage to succeed.

 

[krimster2]

theNWKI

my "Bona Fides"

had MANY Russian/Ukrainian girl friends before marriage
married 19 yr to a Ukrainian woman
we have two daughters now in their teens
i've lived over three yr in Kyiv and Sevastopol
I speak Russian but not fluently, but both my children and obviously wife does

first thing to say to you
you'd better  "wise-up" or these people are going to "eat you alive man"
you are dealing with a whole different mind set

ok, now, here's the devil's bargain I will make with you
and here it is
if you're an idiot, I'm going to freaking tell you that you're an idiot!
I pull no punches with  anyone, ever

if I tell you that you're an idiot, you're going to get offended
and we'll quarrel about it
i'd rather not do that

and instead of jumping to a conclusion
I will assume you are merely ignorant
of which I can find no crime in that
my knowledge of this culture came at a steep price, believe me!!

so before you ask your question, and if you're willing to take the devil's bargain
than here is what I need from you

age
previous marriage/children
how much spare time/money do you have
do you want to "play" or have a family?
profession
part of country you live in
how well do you "click" with women in general



P.S.
I hope you're not one of these "this is my first time with a girl, I'm not quite sure of some things" kinda guy, now are ya?
You have SOME experience in being with and pleasing a woman sexually right?

because either way you cut it, for play or for family, you are going to have to "seal the deal" at some point.
so hopefully, you are at LEAST past this point in your life, right and it's not a problem?
otherwise, fix that problem first...

[jone]

Welcome to the forum.

 

There are countless posts on this forum that will take some reading to get you educated.  But the time is well spent if you're serious.

Dave gave you good advice.  But don't take it too seriously.   I suggest that you do some elementary stuff, like learning the Russian alphabet. 

Here's a good website for that:

MasterRussian.com

It even gives you tests to make sure you're getting it. 

My experience is that you can communicate okay online with Russian/FSU women through translation software.  I would suggest Translate.Google.com.

So, where would you go to get started and not wind up spending your life savings?  I would go to a subscription service.   Typically, for me, this means ElenasModels.com.

Most of the women on here are actually looking for significant others.  In Russia that means HUSBANDs.

You will find plenty of posts here about what to put in a profile, what to say. 

You will have to determine if you are a visit one type guy or visit many.

Finally, and above all, get on a fricking airplane.  Don't be a keyboard Romeo.  If you hit it off with someone, get on a plane.  Don't wait.  Even if it is for a long weekend.  And I would do so within the first month of corresponding with someone. 

By visiting, it is the best way of showing your intentions are real.

As Brother Bill would say:  Udachi!

[msmob]

Welcome the NWKI

All the advice you are getting is good.

I just want to make an observation. If you are not doing well at home, you may find it harder in Ukraine.

You should know

Why you want to go

You will face sterner questions that you've seen here.

Udachi means good ..

The person normally using that phrase would tell you dating a FSU W is not for the faint heated, but he had fun and pain before finding Mrs Right for him.

If you are ready, buckle up for a bumby ride!

[Trenchcoat]

Hello Im probably the worlds stupidest guy romantically but, tired of USA dating sites where women dont answer you back or seem to be FEMINAZI's that are single for a good reason....after getting scammed by a Russian lady and sick of charges on sites like Victoria Hearts....Im looking for advice here....Thanks in advance Eric

Hi Eric

Well I know where you're coming from, the dating scene is much the same in the UK. I've been there too, lots of hammering out messages on Match and the like only to fire off into the void of no return.

Good news is you'll find the whole FSU dating scene for Western Men a whole lot more responsive. You'll likely get dates in Ukraine or elsewhere in the FSU. That's the good news, but aside from that/from that it usually becomes a lot less straight forward unless you get lucky.

Some girls you'll come across will be outright scammers, out to separate you from your money. Even many of the more sincere girls will likely have an agenda why they are looking abroad. In general there is a kind of being street smart attitude across the most of the population I get the impression. If you're not seen as street smart, an easy going guy that looks easily taken you can be. I'm not saying that they are all out to take you for a ride, there are some very decent people out there but you need to be aware some will help you out others will help you out of your money. So it's handy to have your wit's about you and be aware, try to read people as best you can. Most Ukrainians are friendly, most girls especially so and soft & feminine too

Plus side is that for the most part any mistakes made out there won't usually cost a lot unless you've gone crazy and she's talked you into buying expensive jewellery, lol. Those are the type if girls to avoid. Their currency is in the doldrums has been for some years now and inflation is up. That doesn't look set to change any time soon so your $ will go a decent way.

Some people say that if you can't get a date at home easily then there may be a reason(s) for that - lacking in social skills, wealth, physical form, looks, etc, etc. So although you could get dates in Ukraine where you wouldn't at home easily you could face difficulties in your Ukraine relationships that guys that can pick up readily at home may not. I think there is something in that and always room to look at oneself and improve I think. However, I would still go and I think you should too. It's a chance to grow and date beautiful women that you don't get to back home and unless you're in it as they say you can't win it, good luck

[Bee Farmer]

What are you looking for?

What do you have to offer?

Ie, do you have realistic expectations?  Do you have unrealistic fantasies that some supermodel hot 20 year old is going to fall head over heels in love with a fat 45 year old guy who still lives in his mom's basement?

There are great women in America.  There are some whackos too.  There are some great women in Ukraine.  There are some whackos too.

Personally, if someone is divorced, I recommend they fix themselves before thinking about ruining someone else's life.  Meaning that if they have tried marriage and failed, it's probably best they never marry again.  (The chances of divorce are 1.5 times higher if you have been divorced before.  People don't learn from divorce.)

Expect to pay $20,000 out of pocket to build a relationship with a FSU girl...if everything works out.
Expect to pay many thousands more for every girl you visit that doesn't work out.

[BillyB]

Hello Im probably the worlds stupidest guy romantically but, tired of USA dating sites where women dont answer you back or seem to be FEMINAZI's that are single for a good reason....after getting scammed by a Russian lady and sick of charges on sites like Victoria Hearts....Im looking for advice here....Thanks in advance Eric

Welcome to the forum Eric. Wearing your heart on your sleeve made you vulnerable. Scammers and scam agencies will take advantage of you. Plenty of sharks out there looking to take advantage of the naïve and those blindly looking for love. If you're the kind of guy that makes too many mistakes, normal FSU women will reject you. Do lots of reading here and you'll be better prepared.

[rwd123]

Generic advice such as learning Russian is helpful, but more targeted advice requires more info on personal circumstances (age, marital status, kids, financial position, work commitments, language ability, any physical or mental impairments, physical appearance, etc.).

[LAman]

Generic advice such as learning Russian is helpful, but more targeted advice requires more info on personal circumstances (age, marital status, kids, financial position, work commitments, language ability, any physical or mental impairments, physical appearance, etc.).

A more targeted advice would be to look into a mirror and ask. " What the F**KIN hell am I doing ???"

[JayH]

A more targeted advice would be to look into a mirror and ask. " What the F**KIN hell am I doing ???"

 

[msmob]

.and Udachi means good ( LUCK)

[theNWKI]

Thanks for the replies Im hoping I have a couple of potential matches right now off of Victoria Hearts....Im not some defective human being....I was happily married for 25 of my 27 years of marriage to a great overachiever lady who after I worked my ass off while putting her through college....she made her career successful through hard work and efforts and was finally rewarded for her hard work and efforts with a corporate directorship in a big medical device company. Her devotion and primary focus became her job.....I walked away from a very dangerous Union building trade with a medium retirement plan and after assessing our marriage relationship decided it was time for changes. I'm a guy who is deeply devoted and supportive to my partner. Maybe I had too much time on my hands but I grew tired of romantic neglect and lack of taking off time for our relationship....the "work slave" corporate culture is SICK in modern companies....

Maybe I wont find my soul mate in the areas Im looking but, Im tired of hearing about Hillary Clinton "Butthurt" from USA ladies even my Ex-wife  DESPISED the corrupt EVIL candidate that Hiltlery was.....Thank GOD she wasn't elected!

To those that reached out and tried to give me advice thank you I might need some more especially if I decide to make the trip to Ukraine to see my future potential mates. Thanks again....Eric B



   

[ML]

. . . targeted advice requires more info on . . . mental impairments . . .

Isn't it redundant to ask if any of the guys here have this condition?

[SteveInBoston]

I'm assuming you mentioned Ukraine because you don't need a visa to visit, versus thinking Ukrainian women are less likely to be scammers?  Heed DaveNY's post - scammers can be found in both countries.

I also assume you are late 40 to 50 years old.  And the 2 potential "matches" off Victoria Hearts are in their 20's or 30's?  I give you less than 0.0001% chance they are the real deal.  Slightly better chance they are real women leading you on, especially if they message you with "I would love to chat with you at 11 - 2 tonight..."  Great chance they are just photo assets used by hired chatters.

Victoria Hearts is great.  As virtual chat entertainment with pretty, pretty pictures.

If you are serious about meeting a real woman in Ukraine or Russia or Belarus, etc., get on a subscription dating site (single monthly membership fee for unlimited access).  There's a sticky post with recommended sites, like Elena's Models, Ukraindate and dmnotify.   

Some recommend using FSU social media sites/apps.  Some will recommend you just get on a plane and go there, and use your skilz to chat up ladies on the street. 

Your call.

[msmob]

I'm assuming you mentioned Ukraine because you don't need a visa to visit, versus thinking Ukrainian women are less likely to be scammers?  Heed DaveNY's post - scammers can be found in both countries.


Victoria Hearts is great.  As virtual chat entertainment with pretty, pretty pictures.

Has this site changed - it was DEFO not one I would have recommended?

recommended sites, like Elena's Models, Ukraindate and dmnotify.   

Elena's - I thought that was a shadow of it's former self ?

Some recommend using FSU social media sites/apps. 

Hence many FSU ladies made their profiles hidden ...  I admit using this route  to find my beloved, but then she had had profiles on dating sites ... 'Good luck' with this route not speaking a fair smattering of Russian.

Some will recommend you just get on a plane and go there, and use your skilz to chat up ladies on the street. 

Your call.

'Skillz' in Russian  ?

You forgot fdating

Public health warning

I haven't used a dating site in anger for nearly 6 years

[BillyB]

Thanks for the replies Im hoping I have a couple of potential matches right now off of Victoria Hearts....

Your first post said you were sick of that agency. Type in Google "Victoria Hearts scam" and check out reviews. Many say they were scammed there. You don't know if you're writing to the woman in the photo or trading love letters with Boris, the employee of the month.

http://www.sitejabber.com/reviews/victoriahearts.com

I was happily married for 25 of my 27 years of marriage

Many men who entered into this endeavor was in your shoes and are inexperienced talking to women although they lived with one most of their adult life. I'm sure some of the messages you're getting on that agency aren't from real women because it's not how they write. The dreamy romantic letters from that scammer that got you is definitely how a sincere woman writes.

List is recommended sites below. Don't waste your life and money on a questionable site.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0

[LAman]

List is recommended sites below. Don't waste your life and money on a questionable site.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0

Yes, let's keep recommending sites from a thread made 6 1/2 years ago. Some sites aren't even around anymore. But does that matter?

[2tallbill]

Yes, let's keep recommending sites from a thread made 6 1/2 years ago. Some sites aren't even around anymore. But does that matter?

That thread has a ton of good advice and has been updated from time to time.

[ML]

Yes, let's keep recommending sites from a thread made 6 1/2 years ago. Some sites aren't even around anymore. But does that matter?

OK you 'up to date guys'  please provide a listing of those sites that are not even around anymore.

Then, we can see if a moderator can go into the thread and delete those.

[LAman]

OK you 'up to date guys'  please provide a listing of those sites that are not even around anymore.

Then, we can see if a moderator can go into the thread and delete those.

ML, it is more than just that. Even if a site is still around, over time it may turn bad or irrelevant. There are guys here speaking about sites they used years ago and recommending them to newbies. And I keep seeing this site (thread) given to anyone who is new to dating as if it is the 11th  Commandment. It is mostly irrelevant and outdated. There are some posts later in thread that are relevant but they are hidden pages in the back.


It cracks me up to give newbies dating advice from years ago. Just in the last couple years, lots have changed.

[BillyB]

 Even if a site is still around, over time it may turn bad or irrelevant.

 If nobody reports a website as bad or irrelevant then it's not bad or irrelevant is it? There are many companies out there that have the same reputation or better today than they did six years ago.

 I'd be skeptical of these new name dating sites and marriage agencies that is touted as the latest and greatest thing. Many, if not most, of those new sites are bad agencies that had to change their name because their old name has been reported as a scam agency too many times in online reviews

[JayH]

ML, it is more than just that. Even if a site is still around, over time it may turn bad or irrelevant. There are guys here speaking about sites they used years ago and recommending them to newbies. And I keep seeing this site (thread) given to anyone who is new to dating as if it is the 11th  Commandment. It is mostly irrelevant and outdated. There are some posts later in thread that are relevant but they are hidden pages in the back.


It cracks me up to give newbies dating advice from years ago. Just in the last couple years, lots have changed.

Quote from: LAman on Today at 02:37:32 PM
It is funny reading here about some posts describing their 'style' in pursuing FSU women years ago.


Intro letters, pages 1,2,3 ? Writing emails? It is mostly now about conversations on apps on phones with video when possible. Every year English language and western culture is more ingrained into society in FSU.

More and more girls are on Facebook and Instagram. I don't bother with vk anymore.[/b][/color]
End QUOTE


JayH replied -

I know you are one person that has agreed frequently with  me about guys persisting in handing out very dated "advice"
It does not seem to matter to some that they continue doing it -- and then scream they are "helping" guys.

Things change in the world - sometimes quickly. Viber went from nothing to everything in a very short time is an example.Sure -the principle is the same as Skype -- but Skype never had the all encompassing penetration via the spread of the smartphone age -- it changed a lot in a short time.

Instead of guys with yesteryear exposure getting cut when it is pointed out -- they should learn from it an adapt a principle of "their" time on the ground . As an example of a really entertaining ( but from an earlier time)e  TR of Donholio which still deals with the basics of relationships . The actual methodolgy is only relevant today in the widest terms.

[Trenchcoat]

Things have moved on quite a lot over the past couple of years or so but in many ways the game is  much the same. Whether a girl wishes to message on dating site, email, message on apps or video chat through apps seems to vary these days from girl to girl.

Some girls want to filter through messages first, others want to move to messaging on apps quickly and an odd few want to go pretty much to video chat straight away. There's really no guessing that all girls will chose to mainly do one communication method or the other. I've found that trying to second guess that most girls will want to go to apps almost straight away has not worked out. So its kind of made it all a bit more complex it a way than a few years back when it was mainly dating site messaging & email with a video chat down the way.

I think the advice ML & 2tallbill gives as such is still relevant on this even though the advancement of apps etc has changed things a little. I think it's still easier to ignore any requests from women to use the apps and just carry on emailong, etc.  If they are interested in you they will carry on communicating. End of the day writing is writing whether on app or email. I think if it's just a short term burst of communication as ML suggests then no need to worry about girls that want to communicate on the apps, after the couple of messages are done then you're supposedly pretty much sorted anyway.

If it's just one girl you're after though then apps etc may cone more into play but it's nothing to get jumpy about.

[BillyB]

I think the advice ML & 2tallbill gives as such is still relevant on this even though the advancement of apps etc has changed things a little.

People can have the best of both worlds. Mamba.ru is the most used dating site in the FSU. It is the #2 overall app and #1 dating app in the FSU.