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Author Topic: Trench's Questions and Philosophies  (Read 19869 times)

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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #300 on: November 19, 2017, 04:43:56 AM »
Classic, Trench



This is why you WILL fail again- your own hangups.. you are FAR too insecure... 

Plenty of pretty ladies seek a confident man who is happy in his own skin...

Initially yes, but remember Mobe the UK has a bigger shortage of hotties than it has a shortage of housing - a good way for Kyn to remember that one ;D

If Kyn goes for a girl who's a 10 or anywhere close and she's in her twenties she WILL have a load of guys chasing her if she goes anywhere near anywhere urban. I once knew a guy who went out with a hottie, he was confident and I would presume reasonably handsome. Every time he turned his back in a pub restaurant some geezer would be there chatting up his girl, whether he went up to order food or go for a pee. He then had the awkwardness off getting rid of the guy without creating a brawl.

Just last night as I drove down the hill where I live towards the town centre, a place full of young guys, many of them Jack the Lad types - Guys that are uber confident - why? Because they are pretty boys who are extrovert with naturally strong social skills and know if they will either have a load of women chase THEM the moment they walk into town/bar or they can quickly pull nearly any girl they wish. They spend an inordinate amount of time on grooming and going to the gym which I dont have and are quite possibly some rich kiddie. They are athletic looking with visible muscles especially the one I saw going down the hill while in my car. He was with his mates wearing a tight white t-shirt to show off his toned physic. Now remember it's chuffing freezing out there at the moment yet this guy heads into town in a t-shirt just to pull any girl he desires. Now I am 6ft tall and average body shape, not fat but athletic, I can talk to a girl fine and be happy in each others company. I'm guessing Kyn is not a lot different - but really though how long do you think either of us would last if we brought a hottie in her twenties back here and she saw all of that, particularly if she interacted with those guys at work or wherever. No I am not stupid enough to realise that we likely would not las long (and that is probably an understatement) before she dropped us. A girl in her thirties who was say a 6 or 7 maybe even an 8 here we could well hold onto. I'm a realist this is not being negative but saying 'ok it's natural to think I am the best/wonderful/believe in myself, after all it is me but nearly everyone does that, nearly everyone goes out there to win, most guys can get happily in a girls company, but am I really as good as I think I am' I may think we are happy in each others company but when you see how full on and quickly extrovert guys move in & entertain women then you realise that as wonderful as I am they would leave me and probably Kyn for dust, they would be racing away.

So back to the point Kyn made about a girl not speaking good English - well if she doesn't then she can't interact as well with other guys back here in UK, she also is unlikely to get a job, etc. By the time she figured out good English she could be pregnant with your kids Kyn in which case unless you're a real asshole to her she will almost certainly stick with you. I prefer women with good English but I would say it's easy to overlook the advantages of a disadvantage. After all who wants to do all the work getting & bringing home a FSW to be a George Mcfly and have some cock sure geezer start cutting in.

Online msmob

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #301 on: November 19, 2017, 02:24:40 PM »
Initially yes, but remember Mobe the UK has a bigger shortage of hotties than it has a shortage of housing

Utter twaddle, again .... Look - I CHOSE to find a FSU partner - having lived in Cyprus, learnt the lingo to a degree and customs .... There is no shortage of good UK divorcees ...


If Kyn goes for a girl who's a 10 or anywhere close and she's in her twenties she WILL have a load of guys chasing her if she goes anywhere near anywhere urban. I once knew a guy who went out with a hottie, he was confident and I would presume reasonably handsome. Every time he turned his back in a pub restaurant some geezer would be there chatting up his girl, whether he went up to order food or go for a pee. He then had the awkwardness off getting rid of the guy without creating a brawl.

 :ROFL:

Are you for real ? .... Look, SC is nearly 50 and gets chatted up by young studs half her age - who are FAR more handsome, fit and even might have more money ...   She stays on in Thailand when I'm working and 'gets offers' ...  She knows my ex-wife now lives 5 miles away - when I'm in the UK ...    I get more 'annoyed' by the stares she gets from other FSU women ...


So back to the point Kyn made about a girl not speaking good English - well if she doesn't then she can't interact as well with other guys back here in UK, she also is unlikely to get a job, etc. By the time she figured out good English she could be pregnant with your kids Kyn in which case unless you're a real asshole to her she will almost certainly stick with you. I prefer women with good English but I would say it's easy to overlook the advantages of a disadvantage. After all who wants to do all the work getting & bringing home a FSW to be a George Mcfly and have some cock sure geezer start cutting in.

OMG... do you REALLY believe getting pregant and having kids means a wife won't leave her husband ?

Do you think not speaking good English has been a barrier to guys getting into relationships and marrying ? 

Are you aware that to bring your wife to the UK she must be able to speak English to an acceptable level ?  ( Using the UK immigration route)

PLE-EASE, Trenchie...   STOP offering 'advice' when ALL it shows is your are in no position TO advise ...



« Last Edit: November 19, 2017, 10:26:30 PM by msmob »
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Online msmob

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #302 on: November 19, 2017, 03:13:57 PM »
In part I agree Mobe, it's a long way to go to experience a lottery but that is what you get with talking beforehand in Skype - you cannot easily tell if there is attraction over Skype as you can in real life, it is essentially what it is, a series of moving picture frames, i.e frame rate. So it is like looking at  a girls photo and trying to tell if there would be natural chemistry

Deep breath ..and sighs ... 


Trouble with your experience is that it was absolutely the opposite with me...  After skyping SC - we got to the stage were we even agreed it was daft to book into another apartment for my first visit .... 

So, in my experience - you 'advice' - below - SUCKS.....   you  just didn't do 'due diligence'

I personally don't see myself going out to visit one again even with back ups. I would rather meet many since even skyping beforehand you are still essentially getting a blind date. The first girl I got on like a house on fire over Skype and we got on well during our dates but she was closed off and uninterested in any physical contact, the natural chemistry just was not there.

 :deadhorse:

As far ad Mila & Ed are concerned well Ed according to his website has a high record of success, one Mila as it sounds would be one for her to envy ;D

Any 'endorsement' or 'black mark' from the likes of you is not going to enhance / ruin someone's biz... 


No I think most people know a matchmaker cannot assure a match/success but I am dubious as to whether that is being aimed at here. I would have thought it to be elementary to facilitate more togetherness between a couple if the girl really did like the guy. After three meetings of both apparently liking each other and being there for the purpose of finding someone (supposedly) they were still at square one. Now apparently Ed charges a lot more than Mila but then again he is in the US where Mila is stuck out in Ukraine. As the article on rich Chinese going out to Ukraine highlighted it is possible to charge a lot out there but only if you have the girls available. This makes me wonder if Mila has much in the way of girls a viable or really knows how to go about this field after all her field of expertise is really as a terp. My thought is if Osis & others from what I have seen on here have the feeling that it's a path to avoid treading again then for many and indeed myself it is another avenue in which money and more importantly time & life chances could be wasted.

I'm just not the type that wants my hand holding and like to learn by my mistakes - but I can see such services being useful to a busy business man...   


I will tell you now Mobers I am just getting started on a whole new strategy for my next attempt at all of this and I'm pretty confident of a good outcome this time :D

Already given up on trying to date not too local UK lasses ? .....   

Really,  you need to smarten up your attitude and 'sense of humour', first... 

Don't think - even if we were invited - that SC needs to rush out and buy a new hat any times soon until you do take heed...

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #303 on: November 19, 2017, 04:55:09 PM »
Look who's back lol. Trench when's the last time you had a girlfriend, let alone a date.  Being serious.

Offline Yes

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #304 on: November 20, 2017, 01:29:31 AM »
Deep breath ..and sighs ... 


Trouble with your experience is that it was absolutely the opposite with me...  After skyping SC - we got to the stage were we even agreed it was daft to book into another apartment for my first visit .... 

So, in my experience - you 'advice' - below - SUCKS.....   you  just didn't do 'due diligence'
Why does his advice suck, because it doesn't correspond to yours?

His advice corresponds to mine when I first came here and I did just fine meeting ladies. "Due diligence" can work or not, it depends on many factors. That it worked for you doesn't mean it works across the board. His advice (mine also) worked just fine for me. Matter of fact, I was meeting girls daily back then.

Again, what he said is right as far as I'm concerned, yet your overemotional attacks persist. You may have more experience than he does, but I'll stack my experience to yours any day.

I have often said that the best way to be successful in this endeavor is to come, spend time on the ground and meet ladies naturally. Sure, you can establish contact beforehand, but it guarantees nothing. I used to come for a month at a time and had no problem meeting ladies in various cities in Russia without any prior contact. Some of whom would have married me had I gone down that road.

I will also say that there are as many, if not more, women willing to move country and marry a man they love (will eventually love) than at the height of the MOB era. I have no doubt about this. The only difference is that they don't belong to any MOB site.

@Trench,

You do, however, as many have pointed out, need to work on your self-confidence. You also need to understand that when you win a good woman's heart you will never have to worry whether she strays or not; she won't. You job after is only to continue to make her the most important person in your life.





Offline Boethius

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #305 on: November 20, 2017, 03:42:00 AM »
Why does his advice suck, because it doesn't correspond to yours?


If you'd been reading the forum rather than trying to score points against mobe, you'd know that virtually every poster who is not living in Russia has said the same thing - get to know the women via skype.  Yes, it is imperfect, but a man won't be wasting time with a woman whose values/interests/temperament etc. are not what he is looking for, and vice versa.

Quote
@Trench,

You do, however, as many have pointed out, need to work on your self-confidence. You also need to understand that when you win a good woman's heart you will never have to worry whether she strays or not; she won't. You job after is only to continue to make her the most important person in your life.


He will never "get" that because of his attitude toward women, and that isn't going to change.
"Without religion there is no morality, and without morality there is no law." - Lord Denning

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #306 on: November 20, 2017, 06:01:21 PM »

If you'd been reading the forum rather than trying to score points against mobe, you'd know that virtually every poster who is not living in Russia has said the same thing - get to know the women via skype.  Yes, it is imperfect, but a man won't be wasting time with a woman whose values/interests/temperament etc. are not what he is looking for, and vice versa.


He will never "get" that because of his attitude toward women, and that isn't going to change.

I get what you & Mobe are saying that you know the girl is solid and can get on well together. Mobe for example was so solid that his girl let him stay at her place (presumably) rather than get an apartment. That's great, but he was still arriveing to a blind date even though they skyped a lot, there might have been no natural attraction. Now at his age Mobe is no doubt grateful for anyone to listen to his geriatric ramblings ;D whether she they turn out to be best mates or much more.

I do not find solid girls hard to meet through meet one method, yes my inexperience in international dating has led to a few miss-fires but I have learn't from that and now know what to look out for and how to go about matters, I'm not saying I'm an expert or won't make slip ups in future, but I'm pretty sure I've got a better grip at this FSU dating scene now. I would rather travel and find a girl FIRST where there was full on natural attraction/chemistry and do all the values/interests/temperament etc that I cannot see/assess online after. I'm a pretty easy going guy, for example I am not religious but if I girl I was into was then I would not have a beef with it, it would be up to her and I would let her please herself. I also realize that people don't see things as I do and I'm happy for them to be somewhat different - if it is vastly at odds like a material girl, then I am happy to look at options but in some cases no it may not work. That is a risk I am willing to take, I'm not looking for a perfect match I'm just looking for someone I can co-exist with and have a fulfilling relationship. Sure many people Skype first but why accept the default way as the only way. I have wasted much time in the past getting to know girls for it to not work out - that skype & messaging time is then wasted. It's not to say I didn't take some joy out of conversing with them but ultimately its wasted time. If I were to start messaging and Skyping girls now for example I would be starting down the same path and once on the railroad tracks as the say.... I would most probably end up at the same destination of random outcomes on meet with girl, no I just don't fancy doing that again. 

Online msmob

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #307 on: November 20, 2017, 06:58:14 PM »
Why does his advice suck, because it doesn't correspond to yours?

Hello, Danchik... which of us is in an long term relationship - that includes you .....? ( QED)

His advice corresponds to mine when I first came here and I did just fine meeting ladies.
"Due diligence" can work or not, it depends on many factors. That it worked for you doesn't mean it works across the board. His advice (mine also) worked just fine for me. Matter of fact, I was meeting girls daily back then.

You are still 'meeting ladies' - and whilst this may be your choice - you seem to forget that Trenchcoat isn't 'on the ground'  -  that most guys conduct their 'due diligence' from afar

Again, what he said is right as far as I'm concerned, yet your overemotional attacks persist. You may have more experience than he does, but I'll stack my experience to yours any day.

Your 'experience' is serial dating - and whilst that might be your idea of 'success' - I've actually read Trench's posts and he has always made it clear that he seeks a LTR...  Most confident guys have no trouble getting dates in the west - or in Moscow.


I have often said that the best way to be successful in this endeavor is to come, spend time on the ground and meet ladies naturally. Sure, you can establish contact beforehand, but it guarantees nothing. I used to come for a month at a time and had no problem meeting ladies in various cities in Russia without any prior contact. Some of whom would have married me had I gone down that road.

Danchik, not many would disagree with you - re spending time on the ground being infinitely superior. Especially, if serial dating is your bag...

I will also say that there are as many, if not more, women willing to move country and marry a man they love (will eventually love) than at the height of the MOB era. I have no doubt about this. The only difference is that they don't belong to any MOB site.

Once again, agree and your advice below is sound.

@Trench,

You do, however, as many have pointed out, need to work on your self-confidence. You also need to understand that when you win a good woman's heart you will never have to worry whether she strays or not; she won't. You job after is only to continue to make her the most important person in your life.
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Online msmob

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #308 on: November 20, 2017, 08:40:45 PM »
I get what you & Mobe are saying that you know the girl is solid and can get on well together.

No,  you didn't,  or you wouldn'the be posting daft like below...
Mobe for example was so solid that his girl let him stay at her place (presumably) rather than get an apartment. That's great, but he was still arriveing to a blind date even though they skyped a lot, there might have been no natural attraction.

You confused my point that the likes of Skype can be a great pre meeting in reality tool with the trust built up in a monogamous relationship.. ((

IF you took the time to read, properly..you'd realise there was no 'presumably' ....we just knew that my staying in another apartment to court the only woman I had come to meet was pointless. ...


Now at his age Mobe is no doubt grateful for anyone to listen to his geriatric ramblings ;D whether she they turn out to be best mates or much more.

Remind us, which of us is 'theorising' while the other lives the dream ? ;)

I do not find solid girls hard to meet through meet one method, yes my inexperience in international dating has led to a few miss-fires but I have learn't from that

I see no evidence of  either of your assertions in the above sentence based on your own posts.....

Below, you are simply theorising, again ...whilst trying to be some sort of devil's advocate? !....

That is a risk I am willing to take, I'm not looking for a perfect match I'm just looking for someone I can co-exist with and have a fulfilling relationship. Sure many people Skype first but why accept the default way as the only way. I have wasted much time in the past getting to know girls for it to not work out - that skype & messaging time is then wasted. It's not to say I didn't take some joy out of conversing with them but ultimately its wasted time. If I were to start messaging and Skyping girls now for example I would be starting down the same path and once on the railroad tracks as the say.... I would most probably end up at the same destination of random outcomes on meet with girl, no I just don't fancy doing that again.

Your time wasn't wasted...you just haven't  taken on board your mistakes...

We all make mistakes and I have made some howlers..the trick is to learn to listen to good advice ..
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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #309 on: November 21, 2017, 09:29:35 AM »
You confused my point that the likes of Skype can be a great pre meeting in reality tool with the trust built up in a monogamous relationship.. ((

Remind us, which of us is 'theorising' while the other lives the dream ? ;)

Your time wasn't wasted...you just haven't  taken on board your mistakes...

I disagree, from what I have seen whatever you gain with Skype Pre meeting comes with the cost off some negatives, mostly though that you end up putting all your eggs in one basket, you get stuck on the one girl (ok some may skype with several but they must have loads of time on their hands). You've then set yourself on the narrow railroad track towards meeting that one girl all because you wanted to Skype beforehand and see what she is like. I would prefer having had that experience to hold off on finding what she is like to meeting in person, only message her when in or imminently near time of being in country and be able to meet many. That way I can find out what many girls are like. I usually have an idea off what they are like from their profile and am happy to find out the rest on meeting as long as I take into account possible no-shows, don't get on, dates falling through, etc. and can bring up more women with plenty of time on hand to do so.

I've taken on board my previous mistakes and advice on this board and am moving forward. I'm not going out there until the new year, probably March/April time as its bloody cold out there now :o But I'm confident that when I do I will have a good result :)

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #310 on: November 21, 2017, 01:21:07 PM »
I disagree, from what I have seen whatever you gain with Skype Pre meeting comes with the cost off some negatives, mostly though that you end up putting all your eggs in one basket, you get stuck on the one girl (ok some may skype with several but they must have loads of time on their hands).

 :deadhorse:

Your horse is 'dead' because when lead to water  - it wouldn't drink - Like it's owner - it will never learn ((

You can 'disagree' all you like - I think you have more chance of winning the jack-pot at lotto ... 

« Last Edit: November 21, 2017, 01:40:06 PM by AnonMod »
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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #311 on: November 21, 2017, 08:52:28 PM »
Trench you are overthinking it with Skype.  Better to talk to them first to build rapport.  Sure I've met girls that turned out different in person from how they are on Skype, but building that connection counts.  You are far more likely to have a girl flake on you if all that you have done is exchange a few messages.

You don't seem to have much luck either way, maybe look in the mirror and see what you need to work on to be attractive to a woman first.

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #312 on: November 26, 2017, 04:40:05 PM »
Utter twaddle, again .... Look - I CHOSE to find a FSU partner - having lived in Cyprus, learnt the lingo to a degree and customs .... There is no shortage of good UK divorcees ...

 :ROFL:

Are you for real ? .... Look, SC is nearly 50 and gets chatted up by young studs half her age - who are FAR more handsome, fit and even might have more money ...   She stays on in Thailand when I'm working and 'gets offers' ...  She knows my ex-wife now lives 5 miles away - when I'm in the UK ...    I get more 'annoyed' by the stares she gets from other FSU women ...


OMG... do you REALLY believe getting pregant and having kids means a wife won't leave her husband ?

Do you think not speaking good English has been a barrier to guys getting into relationships and marrying ? 

Are you aware that to bring your wife to the UK she must be able to speak English to an acceptable level ?  ( Using the UK immigration route)

PLE-EASE, Trenchie...   STOP offering 'advice' when ALL it shows is your are in no position TO advise ...

TC, why on earth do you think this way?

Do you truly believe that to a normal woman in a good stable caring  relationship with a man she loves and admires, the  surrounding options are what  decides if she drops him?

Would you drop your wife, if some random hottie was available?

Relationships and marriages fail for a million reasons, but if you sweat the competition,  then it's a mental state of low self esteem, suppressed jealousy,  or any number if things that will certainly sour most any relationship over time.

Until you get past this thinking , you really will have a hard go of it. Women easily spot and sense things like that and it's  a huge turn off. One of the biggest.

I have no idea why my wife adores me,  but she does.
I never worry about other men,ever,  there is always someone more charming ,more handsome, more wealthy,  smarter, etc
If our relationship and marriage isn't a strong enough bond, that the mere existence of someone who *might* be a better match breaks it,then it wasn't much to begin with.

You really really need  to get past that thinking and mentality. It's extremely detrimental to any relationship.

I have never dated an insecure or overly jealous woman for that very reason. Its one of the worst traits to be involved with, and I don't need that in my life.
Most women, regardless nationality , feel the same way.





.

Offline 2tallbill

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #313 on: November 26, 2017, 06:52:08 PM »
I disagree, from what I have seen whatever you gain with Skype
Pre meeting comes with the cost off some negatives, mostly though
that you end up putting all your eggs in one basket,

NOTE: I am using the word Skype generically instead of messenger or
webcam chat etc. 

If you plan on meeting more than one girl then I agree don't Skype at
all until after you meet. All you want is an introduction letter, answer
a couple questions and get a meeting.

If you are going to meet one girl then Skype (or other messenger)
is a great tool, it's a force multiplier. You can read a girls eyes when
you are talking to her. If she seems bored then you are chasing the
wrong girl. You want an interested girl. You could never determine
this exchanging letters.

A girl can say anything in a letter true or false. Most girls aren't
very good saying false things in another language, it will usually
show on their face. 80% of communication is nonverbal. Think about
that for a minute. What they say is less important than how they say
it. Why would anyone throw away 80% of communication out the
window?

I think, I know the answer. If you aren't using it, it's because you don't
have the confidence in your ability to banter, make small talk etc*. It's
a learned trait. You can spend 5 minutes crafting a sentence to answer
a question, but you pretty much have to do it on the spot during a
messenger type call.

*Bantering 101: How to talk to pretty girls without puking on your shoes. 
1. Always have a small 30-60 second conversation figured out ahead
of time. Example: I saw your profile, liked your smile and thought I better
get hold of this girl before everybody else does. Yada, yada.

2. Always have some prepared questions. Do you want kids, what
things do you like to do in your spare time? How do I know you won't
try to make me eat holodetz? blah, blah, blah 

3. Limit the conversation to so many minutes. Decide if you want to see
this girl on Skype again or not.

4. If you want to see her again, tell her you have to go but that you want
to see her again and nail down a time and date. Get her phone number if
something comes up. Send her an SMS telling her you liked her
voice/accent/eyes/cute personality/bubbly laugh etc (don't say tits on the
first call even if they are truly spectacular)

5. If you run into a brain fart or can't think of something to say then turn it
around immediately. Say something like "You are so pretty, that I totally forgot
what I was going to say." "You make me feel like a schoolboy again" How is it
possible that you aren't married?!? are all the men in your city blind? etc.

You can also unplug the mike or the camera. Then fumble around hooking it
back up. Then ask what were we talking about? Oh yes, I remember we were
talking about how loud you are during sex and how thick the walls need to be.

Those will get you a shy smile 95% of the time and you've turned it completely
around from a negative to a positive.

80% of the girls I Skyped with, I did only once. I decided it wasn't worth my
time to continue. I was only interested in an exceptional girl, so all the so-so
girls got sent to find their love interest elsewhere. One mans coal is another
mans diamond. Lather, rinse and repeat. Don't hang on to a girl just because
she is hot!!! Never compromise on character.

You will get better and better at this with practice.

Udachi!

Bill
« Last Edit: November 26, 2017, 07:00:13 PM by 2tallbill »
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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #314 on: November 27, 2017, 09:29:08 AM »
Jumper I would say your wrong and many psychologists are a sham with their theories on when they say that jealousy and possessiveness Is destructive. That's where most people are incorrect about jealousy and possessiveness when it comes to a wife or a girlfriend. I think it's wonderful when girls get that way because it means you've displayed high level value and you set the standard that no man can match you. All other men cease to exist. They don't want to share you with anyone and who could blame them. Your everything they want in a man. They don't want any other girl even look at you.  I have seen many women that my friends have dated and that their woman supposedly trusts them if they go to the bar or show up late getting home, etc. It's because it's simple. She just doesn't love you as much as you think or she would want to do everything with you instead. Sure everyone needs their space but most women are like pack animals. They will go and follow wherever the leader takes them. they want to be with them always. One of the many examples with my wife was going to get her nails done and I just wanted to get wasted at a pub while waiting for her. So when she was getting up to go. She gave me my passport and her extra cellphone just to stay in touch. As soon as she started walking next door to the nail salon. The waitress walks instantly up to my table and says.. "so it didn't work out"... I was like huh? She seen my passport and said...Oh your from Canada and sat down at my table and started small talk. My wife turned around to wave at me and instantly seen what was transpiring and I laughed but her eyes turned almost satanic and she started coming back. As soon as she got to the table she said hello and that waitress made her exit quick and my wife said...I can't leave you for 2 minutes without some girl hitting on you. Then the next day she had an appointment for her hair because they have some crazy month or star days superstition just for haircuts... so I just said I'll bring my Nintendo switch to a pub and enjoy some booze and gaming. She then asked me how about I stay at the apartment because I have internet, we can go buy you beers and bring them here and if you go to a pub they might try and rip you off because your a Foreign. I just said that I won't pay the bill till you get done. When I got to the pub and we both sat down she said are you sure your not going to meet anyone If they flirt with you. I laughed and said never.  But that's fantastic as it displays massive levels of value because other women have taking notice too so they want in on the action. That's why women who have friends usually don't realize that their friends is their worst enemy. If they see that a man is good to their friend that they are dating and they are always having fun. Their friend the majority of the time try and seduce him covertly. I've experienced it many times in the past. The worst part is..your girl will say..ohh they are just flirty like that. I think if I wasn't such a good guy I would be able to take advantage of that situation and show you that they aren't flirting because they are just that way...they are trying to steal me away from you. But That's why the majority of Ukrainian and Russian women have no friends. They know even their own best friend would steal their man if they had a chance. Hell even their single mother would try to steal their daughters man if they had the chance. Russian and Ukrainian women are incredibly jealous and possessive girls but don't mistake it for insecurity. It means they want you all to themselves. What's so bad about that. I think women that are jealous and possessive tend to be the best types of girls to be with. It takes a whole 2 minutes to reassure them that you are into them always. Plus they do everything and I mean everything for you. Plus when they sexy and hot. Well...it's just the best.

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #315 on: November 27, 2017, 09:40:55 AM »
I think women that are jealous and possessive tend to be the best types of girls to be with.



There are people like yourself, men and women, that enjoy being with a jealous and possessive partner but Jumper is also correct that that for many, it can be destructive to the relationship.


I got men putting flowers and candy on my wife's car. Lots of guys want to introduce themselves to her. Some guys start a conversation saying she looks like Taylor Swift or ask if she does modelling. A cop got her license plate number and called her up. Surely he seen my name on the car title too but still made the call. I know a lot of guys look at my wife's ass. Not once did I feel like kicking ass to get guys to back off or getting the cop fired. I am not jealous or possessive or afraid my wife will leave me. She wouldn't like it if I were jealous and possessive. All women in my life are free to come and go as they please. There's always another woman out there for me but whoever is in my life, I take good care of them and I suspect that is why I'm an attractive man to women. By taking care of them, I don't mean just by financial means.
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #316 on: November 27, 2017, 01:50:25 PM »
Jumper I would say your wrong and many psychologists are a sham with their theories on when they say that jealousy and possessiveness Is destructive. That's where most people are incorrect about jealousy and possessiveness when it comes to a wife or a girlfriend. I think it's wonderful when girls get that way because it means you've displayed high level value and you set the standard that no man can match you. All other men cease to exist. They don't want to share you with anyone and who could blame them. Your everything they want in a man. They don't want any other girl even look at you.  I have seen many women that my friends have dated and that their woman supposedly trusts them if they go to the bar or show up late getting home, etc. It's because it's simple. She just doesn't love you as much as you think or she would want to do everything with you instead. Sure everyone needs their space but most women are like pack animals. They will go and follow wherever the leader takes them. they want to be with them always. One of the many examples with my wife was going to get her nails done and I just wanted to get wasted at a pub while waiting for her. So when she was getting up to go. She gave me my passport and her extra cellphone just to stay in touch. As soon as she started walking next door to the nail salon. The waitress walks instantly up to my table and says.. "so it didn't work out"... I was like huh? She seen my passport and said...Oh your from Canada and sat down at my table and started small talk. My wife turned around to wave at me and instantly seen what was transpiring and I laughed but her eyes turned almost satanic and she started coming back. As soon as she got to the table she said hello and that waitress made her exit quick and my wife said...I can't leave you for 2 minutes without some girl hitting on you. Then the next day she had an appointment for her hair because they have some crazy month or star days superstition just for haircuts... so I just said I'll bring my Nintendo switch to a pub and enjoy some booze and gaming. She then asked me how about I stay at the apartment because I have internet, we can go buy you beers and bring them here and if you go to a pub they might try and rip you off because your a Foreign. I just said that I won't pay the bill till you get done. When I got to the pub and we both sat down she said are you sure your not going to meet anyone If they flirt with you. I laughed and said never.  But that's fantastic as it displays massive levels of value because other women have taking notice too so they want in on the action. That's why women who have friends usually don't realize that their friends is their worst enemy. If they see that a man is good to their friend that they are dating and they are always having fun. Their friend the majority of the time try and seduce him covertly. I've experienced it many times in the past. The worst part is..your girl will say..ohh they are just flirty like that. I think if I wasn't such a good guy I would be able to take advantage of that situation and show you that they aren't flirting because they are just that way...they are trying to steal me away from you. But That's why the majority of Ukrainian and Russian women have no friends. They know even their own best friend would steal their man if they had a chance. Hell even their single mother would try to steal their daughters man if they had the chance. Russian and Ukrainian women are incredibly jealous and possessive girls but don't mistake it for insecurity. It means they want you all to themselves. What's so bad about that. I think women that are jealous and possessive tend to be the best types of girls to be with. It takes a whole 2 minutes to reassure them that you are into them always. Plus they do everything and I mean everything for you. Plus when they sexy and hot. Well...it's just the best.


Feeding on someone's emotions, or playing them, is a sign of obscurity.
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Offline JayH

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #317 on: November 27, 2017, 03:23:10 PM »
That's where most people are incorrect about jealousy and possessiveness when it comes to a wife or a girlfriend. I think it's wonderful when girls get that way because it means you've displayed high level value and you set the standard that no man can match you. All other men cease to exist. They don't want to share you with anyone and who could blame them.

Not all other men---- but -- all other women !
Women going near "her" man -- are excluded.
Jealousy is not healthy  nor "possessiveness" --it shows insecurity.
As for most of your post --  you are right at home here with a lot of our other misfits.
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #318 on: November 27, 2017, 05:44:27 PM »

Jumper I would say your wrong and many psychologists are a sham with their theories on when they say that jealousy and possessiveness Is destructive. That's where most people are incorrect about jealousy and possessiveness when it comes to a wife or a girlfriend. I think it's wonderful when girls get that way because it means you've displayed high level value and you set the standard that no man can match you. All other men cease to exist. They don't want to share you with anyone and who could blame them. Your everything they want in a man. They don't want any other girl even look at you.  I have seen many women that my friends have dated and that their woman supposedly trusts them if they go to the bar or show up late getting home, etc. It's because it's simple. She just doesn't love you as much as you think or she would want to do everything with you instead. Sure everyone needs their space but most women are like pack animals. They will go and follow wherever the leader takes them. they want to be with them always.

One of the many examples with my wife was going to get her nails done and I just wanted to get wasted at a pub while waiting for her. So when she was getting up to go. She gave me my passport and her extra cellphone just to stay in touch. As soon as she started walking next door to the nail salon. The waitress walks instantly up to my table and says.. "so it didn't work out"... I was like huh? She seen my passport and said...Oh your from Canada and sat down at my table and started small talk. My wife turned around to wave at me and instantly seen what was transpiring and I laughed but her eyes turned almost satanic and she started coming back. As soon as she got to the table she said hello and that waitress made her exit quick and my wife said...I can't leave you for 2 minutes without some girl hitting on you. Then the next day she had an appointment for her hair because they have some crazy month or star days superstition just for haircuts... so I just said I'll bring my Nintendo switch to a pub and enjoy some booze and gaming. She then asked me how about I stay at the apartment because I have internet, we can go buy you beers and bring them here and if you go to a pub they might try and rip you off because your a Foreign. I just said that I won't pay the bill till you get done. When I got to the pub and we both sat down she said are you sure your not going to meet anyone If they flirt with you. I laughed and said never.  But that's fantastic as it displays massive levels of value because other women have taking notice too so they want in on the action.

That's why women who have friends usually don't realize that their friends is their worst enemy. If they see that a man is good to their friend that they are dating and they are always having fun. Their friend the majority of the time try and seduce him covertly. I've experienced it many times in the past. The worst part is..your girl will say..ohh they are just flirty like that. I think if I wasn't such a good guy I would be able to take advantage of that situation and show you that they aren't flirting because they are just that way...they are trying to steal me away from you. But That's why the majority of Ukrainian and Russian women have no friends. They know even their own best friend would steal their man if they had a chance. Hell even their single mother would try to steal their daughters man if they had the chance. Russian and Ukrainian women are incredibly jealous and possessive girls but don't mistake it for insecurity. It means they want you all to themselves. What's so bad about that. I think women that are jealous and possessive tend to be the best types of girls to be with. It takes a whole 2 minutes to reassure them that you are into them always. Plus they do everything and I mean everything for you. Plus when they sexy and hot. Well...it's just the best.

For the love of god, write in short paragraphs, split it up so it makes what you've written actually manageable to read, like I have done here for you ;)

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #319 on: November 27, 2017, 06:14:06 PM »

There are people like yourself, men and women, that enjoy being with a jealous and possessive partner but Jumper is also correct that that for many, it can be destructive to the relationship.


I got men putting flowers and candy on my wife's car. Lots of guys want to introduce themselves to her. Some guys start a conversation saying she looks like Taylor Swift or ask if she does modelling. A cop got her license plate number and called her up. Surely he seen my name on the car title too but still made the call. I know a lot of guys look at my wife's ass. Not once did I feel like kicking ass to get guys to back off or getting the cop fired. I am not jealous or possessive or afraid my wife will leave me. She wouldn't like it if I were jealous and possessive. All women in my life are free to come and go as they please. There's always another woman out there for me but whoever is in my life, I take good care of them and I suspect that is why I'm an attractive man to women. By taking care of them, I don't mean just by financial means.

I get the impression you're quite a canny operator BillyB and your wife probably knows while she could cross you, you would almost certainly get the upper hand. Besides, if a woman has kids then as we know most FSW are very loyal to their children and if you're providing/doing a decent job as father then she is unlikely to leave, job done ;)

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #320 on: November 27, 2017, 06:34:55 PM »
Quote
if a woman has kids then as we know most FSW are very loyal to their children and if you're providing/doing a decent job as father then she is unlikely to leave


I can think of a dozen examples off the top of my head that disprove your theory.  Including Billy's first Ukrainian wife.
"Without religion there is no morality, and without morality there is no law." - Lord Denning

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #321 on: November 27, 2017, 06:45:41 PM »
NOTE: I am using the word Skype generically instead of messenger or
webcam chat etc. 

If you plan on meeting more than one girl then I agree don't Skype at
all until after you meet. All you want is an introduction letter, answer
a couple questions and get a meeting.


If you are going to meet one girl then Skype (or other messenger)
is a great tool, it's a force multiplier. You can read a girls eyes when
you are talking to her. If she seems bored then you are chasing the
wrong girl. You want an interested girl. You could never determine
this exchanging letters.

A girl can say anything in a letter true or false. Most girls aren't
very good saying false things in another language, it will usually
show on their face. 80% of communication is nonverbal. Think about
that for a minute. What they say is less important than how they say
it. Why would anyone throw away 80% of communication out the
window?

I think, I know the answer. If you aren't using it, it's because you don't
have the confidence in your ability to banter, make small talk etc*. It's
a learned trait. You can spend 5 minutes crafting a sentence to answer
a question, but you pretty much have to do it on the spot during a
messenger type call.

*Bantering 101: How to talk to pretty girls without puking on your shoes. 
1. Always have a small 30-60 second conversation figured out ahead
of time. Example: I saw your profile, liked your smile and thought I better
get hold of this girl before everybody else does. Yada, yada.

2. Always have some prepared questions. Do you want kids, what
things do you like to do in your spare time? How do I know you won't
try to make me eat holodetz? blah, blah, blah 

3. Limit the conversation to so many minutes. Decide if you want to see
this girl on Skype again or not.

4. If you want to see her again, tell her you have to go but that you want
to see her again and nail down a time and date. Get her phone number if
something comes up. Send her an SMS telling her you liked her
voice/accent/eyes/cute personality/bubbly laugh etc (don't say tits on the
first call even if they are truly spectacular)

5. If you run into a brain fart or can't think of something to say then turn it
around immediately. Say something like "You are so pretty, that I totally forgot
what I was going to say." "You make me feel like a schoolboy again" How is it
possible that you aren't married?!? are all the men in your city blind? etc.

You can also unplug the mike or the camera. Then fumble around hooking it
back up. Then ask what were we talking about? Oh yes, I remember we were
talking about how loud you are during sex and how thick the walls need to be.

Those will get you a shy smile 95% of the time and you've turned it completely
around from a negative to a positive.

80% of the girls I Skyped with, I did only once. I decided it wasn't worth my
time to continue. I was only interested in an exceptional girl, so all the so-so
girls got sent to find their love interest elsewhere. One mans coal is another
mans diamond. Lather, rinse and repeat. Don't hang on to a girl just because
she is hot!!! Never compromise on character.

You will get better and better at this with practice.

Udachi!

Bill

Well you're right Bill, I'm glad you agree that not Skyping is best when visiting many which is what I intend to do. This made sense to me also from my experience - I just don't have loads off free time to constantly Skype with woman. Plus I would prefer to meet in person. The last girl I was picking up a fair bit of non-verbal communication on Skype that she was attracted to me, whether it was genuine its perhaps harder to tell on Skype. Even during meeting I am not sure whether her interest was sincere or there to drive towards purpose of immigration visa, etc. Had I the experience I gained (& stuff learned from you guys on here ;) ) from that and the situation cropped up again I know how to handle it better.

Skype can be a pain, the reception is rarely as good in real life, the girl I was with had poor reception so even non-verbal communication though there well is kind of better to see in person I feel. Normally, with Skype I had a folded A4 sheet of paper with a load of short questions in block capitals to ask. I found with the first girl who had near perfect English this was  more of a fall back as we got chatting away and one topic lead onto another and time passed with ease - so she was easy to get on with but no chemistry, huh. The last girl her English was not that good - it improved by the end of the second (holiday) meet but on Skype I had to rely on the question sheet a lot. Some questions I even had to jump as she could not really understand them despite being reasonably straight forward. Responses tended to be fairly short as well. She also did not ask a lot of questions, again because of her poor English I believe. This mean't I often whipped through the question sheet quite fast and it only just about made do for the 15min to half hour we were on Skype. After that if she did not need to finish I often finished with some excuse as I had run out of stuff to say. She seemed to like Skyping with me though and I can see why some guys only go for good speaking English FSW but it kinds of cuts out girls where there can be the all important chemistry so I accept the negatives in favour of the positives.

I also spoke to another girl on Skype nearly 2 years back now - there was no chemistry and her English was not good either, it was an awkward session only interrupted by her cat intruding which was a thankful godsend since it was the only part of the session where I saw any emotion. Well I chose not to Skype with her again. I think you're right, banter I could do with improving so its not just an interview session, with poor level English FSW though much of this would be lost cause, short questions they may get anything else as I found will fall by unnoticed only to be met with a confused look.

Yeah to be sure I think I would really rather give meeting many a go and get a better first impression without the disembodied feeling I get on Skype. 

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #322 on: November 27, 2017, 06:46:43 PM »

I can think of a dozen examples off the top of my head that disprove your theory.  Including Billy's first Ukrainian wife.

He had a first wife!? What happened there?

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #323 on: November 27, 2017, 07:42:45 PM »
He had a first wife!? What happened there?

He probably couldn't find the model wife in the SeaPigeon land he lives in. ;D

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #324 on: November 27, 2017, 10:02:56 PM »
Quote from: boomstick
I think women that are jealous and possessive tend to be the best types of girls to be with. It takes a whole 2 minutes to reassure them that you are into them always. Plus they do everything and I mean everything for you. Plus when they sexy and hot. Well...it's just the best.


Plenty of completely secure women will do everything for a man they love.
That's not some trait only jealous possesive  women have.

If it only takes 2 minutes to reassure some jealous possessive women,that all is fine in the relationship,  she isn't nearly as jealous or possesive as I was referring too.
Yes those types can tend to be more  wild in bed,  but again they have no monopoly on that, and the rest of their drama isn't worth dealing with.

A hint of jealousy is likely normal, that's not what I was talking about.

As far as spending time together, or apart, that's never been an issue with anyone I've been with.
It would be a problem  with a truly jealous person.

For the record I love spending time with my wife and children, I have a lot of hobbies and interests,  but prefer to spend as much time with the family as I can. Clubs and such bored me to death in my twenties,I sure don't find them of any interest now, everyone has their priorities, mine are with my wife and kids.


TC has insecure traits seeming  a tad controlling,  , yet fears a hot babe will leave him for the first handsome guy with a wad of cash.
 .
That kind of controlling, insecure behaviour and thinking  is a self fullfilling prophesy .
It drives people away.

Then he will say, to himself, see? That's how women are.
In a circle of behaviour that causes a given outcome,  while confirming his preconceived notions , and would be hard to break out of.

I'm not saying he is doomed to that, it's just an easy thing to fall into, and I hope mentioning it makes him step back to evaluate if that might be something that occurs in his life.


 TC's self admitted  insecurities would  turn off most of the women i know.I'm trying to help him see that confidence is the key.
 
He has gotten a lot of advice on how to improve it, so I hope he tries it out.
Posting things like he did above, shows he still sweats some muscled local guy easily  swiping some woman he has a relationship with and brings to the UK.
That's not the mentality he needs to go into any relationship with,  much less a cross cultural, long distance one.

.

 

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