It appears you have not registered with our community. To register please click here ...

!!

Welcome to Russian Women Discussion - the most informative site for all things related to serious long-term relationships and marriage to a partner from the Former Soviet Union countries!

Please register (it's free!) to gain full access to the many features and benefits of the site. Welcome!

+-

Author Topic: Why the sudden desire to open up?  (Read 27226 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Davo

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 535
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #75 on: October 07, 2017, 06:56:29 AM »
Trench, I can only give my perception and realise i'm a novice compared with most regulars. I'm fresh and not tainted by one bad experience. I've chosen an unusual method that to date hasn't failed me. My mate took my advice and was successful without a fraction of the knowledge you know, on his first attempt.

As far as the woman I'm talking to.... She's shared her life hour by hour for the last 9 months 1600 pictures in total 1900 hours of conversation. She has never not replied in more than 10 minutes. I've spent more time talking to her than my ex of 20 years. I've been on video link at all her family's events. Her parents just returned from a tour of Europe. we joke that the only culture difference is her child's happy meal has wedges and mine has fries. I'm not naive. I know there are big cultural  differences, but you have to trust that with not one red flag at all that she's as honest a woman as you will meet. You don't share your life the extent she has and hide things. My tip is don't treat these women with anymore scepticism, than local women. You need to start trusting as  99 percent are just normal women looking for what we are.

Think about what I've just said, I've captivated a woman I've never met for almost a year. We have had no real life experiences to fall back on in conversation and everyday it gets better. It's no fluke  It took me 5 short term relationships in 3 years, after a incredibly abusive marriage, to feel comfortable around  women, including being a paid fill in speed dater for 6 months where I talked to 500 women and 50+ follow up  dates. I hung out with some PUA guys and picked up some great tips on reading body language. This is very unusual, but  I befriended the wife of the guy my ex run off with and went out with her and her friends every weekend, I was one of the girls lol... This was a huge insight into what women are looking for, trust me they can be as dirty mined as men ;)
Building attraction and conversation skills with women isn't as easy as jumping on a plane and hoping for the best. You need to do your ground work at home, walk down the street and approach as many women as you can, when you can pick up several dates from a cold approach you are on your way.
Lastly think about what you actually want in life. Forget slim and good looking as your first priority, I made this mistake in my  marriage. Find a woman who lives a comparable life to you, financially secure, good English skills, morals that align with yours. Looks fade, sex becomes unimportant, compatibility and companionship is what a successful relationship is made of.

If I posted just the last hours conversation, you would change everything you're doing and your perception of who these women are.
 
« Last Edit: October 07, 2017, 08:34:55 AM by Davo »

Offline BdHvA

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 676
  • Country: nl
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #76 on: October 07, 2017, 06:59:55 AM »
Trench, UNTIL you have spent more time on the ground in Ukraine or Russia. I would suggest that you keep your 'insights, opinions and guesses' as little more that burps from your anal cavity. Make all the assumptions you wish, most are wrong. So much of what you write is just lacking any on the ground reality.

Feel free to be the ignorant troll, but I suspect you will be savaged by those who have done this endeavor before. vA
Experierence is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you. A. Huxley

Offline HoundDaddyLee

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 382
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #77 on: October 07, 2017, 09:02:05 AM »
Kyn, not bringig a girl a bunch of flowers or even one flower is a big faux pas over there.


Jesus H. Christ, Trench. Stop. It is not a faux pas to get off the plane without flowers. I get my woman flowers for special days (birthday, Valentines Day, Woman's Day). I bring a few small gifts for her and her daughter when I visit. Mostly chocolate. Stop speaking like you know what you are doing. In fact you should go to the other site and read about ChrisC's misadventures. He brought gifts, see where it got him.


If the girl/woman is sincere, she wants to meet you. She wants to see if there is a future. Why are giving such BS advice, Trench? You get angry when you have to put a crowbar in your wallet to pay for dinner.


 :wallbash:  While I rarely agree with Moby, I am with him on you. You give bad advice and I worry a newbie will think based on your post count that you know what you are talking about.


HDL

Offline HoundDaddyLee

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 382
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #78 on: October 07, 2017, 09:05:04 AM »
Trench, I can only give my perception and realise i'm a novice compared with most regulars. I'm fresh and not tainted by one bad experience. I've chosen an unusual method that to date hasn't failed me. My mate took my advice and was successful without a fraction of the knowledge you know, on his first attempt.

As far as the woman I'm talking to.... She's shared her life hour by hour for the last 9 months 1600 pictures in total 1900 hours of conversation. She has never not replied in more than 10 minutes. I've spent more time talking to her than my ex of 20 years. I've been on video link at all her family's events. Her parents just returned from a tour of Europe. we joke that the only culture difference is her child's happy meal has wedges and mine has fries. I'm not naive. I know there are big cultural  differences, but you have to trust that with not one red flag at all that she's as honest a woman as you will meet. You don't share your life the extent she has and hide things. My tip is don't treat these women with anymore scepticism, than local women. You need to start trusting as  99 percent are just normal women looking for what we are.

Think about what I've just said, I've captivated a woman I've never met for almost a year. We have had no real life experiences to fall back on in conversation and everyday it gets better. It's no fluke  It took me 5 short term relationships in 3 years, after a incredibly abusive marriage, to feel comfortable around  women, including being a paid fill in speed dater for 6 months where I talked to 500 women and 50+ follow up  dates. I hung out with some PUA guys and picked up some great tips on reading body language. This is very unusual, but  I befriended the wife of the guy my ex run off with and went out with her and her friends every weekend, I was one of the girls lol... This was a huge insight into what women are looking for, trust me they can be as dirty mined as men ;)
Building attraction and conversation skills with women isn't as easy as jumping on a plane and hoping for the best. You need to do your ground work at home, walk down the street and approach as many women as you can, when you can pick up several dates from a cold approach you are on your way.
Lastly think about what you actually want in life. Forget slim and good looking as your first priority, I made this mistake in my  marriage. Find a woman who lives a comparable life to you, financially secure, good English skills, morals that align with yours. Looks fade, sex becomes unimportant, compatibility and companionship is what a successful relationship is made of.

If I posted just the last hours conversation, you would change everything you're doing and your perception of who these women are.


Davo, Please do you take anything Trench says as gospel. He is completely clueless. Despite BillyB's defense of Trench, most everyone else here thinks he is bat-crap crazy.


Good luck in your pursuit.


HDL

Offline LAman

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2116
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #79 on: October 07, 2017, 09:57:38 AM »

Jesus H. Christ, Trench. Stop. It is not a faux pas to get off the plane without flowers. I get my woman flowers for special days (birthday, Valentines Day, Woman's Day). I bring a few small gifts for her and her daughter when I visit. Mostly chocolate. Stop speaking like you know what you are doing. In fact you should go to the other site and read about ChrisC's misadventures. He brought gifts, see where it got him.


If the girl/woman is sincere, she wants to meet you. She wants to see if there is a future. Why are giving such BS advice, Trench? You get angry when you have to put a crowbar in your wallet to pay for dinner.


 :wallbash:  While I rarely agree with Moby, I am with him on you. You give bad advice and I worry a newbie will think based on your post count that you know what you are talking about.


HDL

You talk about bad advice?? There is plenty here coming from all directions. Anyone should pick and choose what is appropriate for their situation. Ya got some here that are experts on any field/subject you can think of.....and get info from the internet........and we all know anything on the internet is true!!

Remember, anything said here is from experience, some with a little, some with more, some is outdated, some is more recent. You can only agree or disagree with any advice, it is poor taste to call anyone's advice bad.

Worry about newbie's, Hound? What about the 75% political talk on this forum??? It is what drives this forum!!!
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

Offline Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8322
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • 🇺🇦
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #80 on: October 07, 2017, 10:00:14 AM »
Guys I can only give my opinion based on what the guy tells me. If he tells me is only part of the situation then we find out the guy is actually holding out that he has a winning hand in some way then I am not to know. I can only go on what the guy says to date and assume all else I don't know is nothing other than regular. Davo has just told us that he has been a paid speed dater of substance and has learnt off decent PUA guys. That tells me that Davo excels in communication and social skills. That of course changes the whole outlook and his chances drastically and will push his chances through the roof with many a woman making this venture far easier for him than most. Most of us mere mortals don't possess his social prowress and likely never will, he no doubt has been good at it all his life even though he may be modest in admitting so. Unarmed with that knowledge on Davo until he just offered it no of course I could not realistically expect to have guessed he's a socializing god. Lets face it the majority of guys on this venture are not like you Davo most embark on it as we are not socially skilled enough to get women at home, yet in the FSU at least we get some attention & action even if it is problematic.
« Last Edit: October 07, 2017, 10:05:16 AM by Trenchcoat »
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16105
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #81 on: October 07, 2017, 10:08:52 AM »

Kyn, if she's calling you her darling, she'd be wanting to hear your voice often and of course seeing you often. Action speaks louder than words.


Despite BillyB's defense of Trench, most everyone else here thinks he is bat-crap crazy.



Where have I defended Trench or approved any of his advice? I've criticized the way he handed things before but I don't need to repeat myself a thousand times and follow him into every thread. Those who feel the are wiser than Trench should not feel insecure. If Trench tells a newbie to go left, and other posters tell the newbie to go right providing good logic on why to do so, a newbie should be able to evaluate which is the better advice. We can't hold newbies hands forever if they are incapable of distinguishing the good from the bad. I don't agree with a lot of advice myself but I don't get into the name calling, stalking, or get into attack mode in every thread with a poster I disagree with.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline HoundDaddyLee

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 382
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #82 on: October 07, 2017, 11:48:29 AM »
You talk about bad advice?? There is plenty here coming from all directions. Anyone should pick and choose what is appropriate for their situation. Ya got some here that are experts on any field/subject you can think of.....and get info from the internet........and we all know anything on the internet is true!!

Remember, anything said here is from experience, some with a little, some with more, some is outdated, some is more recent. You can only agree or disagree with any advice, it is poor taste to call anyone's advice bad.

Worry about newbie's, Hound? What about the 75% political talk on this forum??? It is what drives this forum!!!


LAMan,
Understand that people need to use their heads when looking at information from the internet. I personally don't care about the political stuff on here, don't read it. I just know that I used this site and the other site to get some good information when I was a newbie. It helped me to avoid some mistakes (of course I made many on my own :) )


HDL

Offline LAman

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2116
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #83 on: October 07, 2017, 12:51:38 PM »

LAMan,
Understand that people need to use their heads when looking at information from the internet. I personally don't care about the political stuff on here, don't read it. I just know that I used this site and the other site to get some good information when I was a newbie. It helped me to avoid some mistakes (of course I made many on my own :) )


HDL

Yes, people using their OWN heads and finding info THEY thought was good. Why rely of others saying somebody else's opinions are bad. Personally, I don't read many posters here, much is only rehashing or putting someone else down AND of course, tons of bickering(chest pounding).
If it's more than one paragraph it's not worth my time. Get to the point and move on!!!
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

Offline Davo

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 535
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #84 on: October 07, 2017, 02:10:11 PM »
Guys I can only give my opinion based on what the guy tells me. If he tells me is only part of the situation then we find out the guy is actually holding out that he has a winning hand in some way then I am not to know. I can only go on what the guy says to date and assume all else I don't know is nothing other than regular. Davo has just told us that he has been a paid speed dater of substance and has nearby off decent PUA guys. That tells me that Davo excels in communication and social skills. That of course changes the whole outlook and his chances drastically and will push his chances through the roof with many a woman making this venture far easier for him than most. Most of us mere mortals don't possess his social prowress and likely never will, he no doubt has been good at it all his life even though he may be modest in admitting so. Unarmed with that knowledge on Davo until he just offered it no of course I could not realistically expect to have guessed he's a socializing god. Lets face it the majority of guys on this venture are not like you Davo most embark on it as we are not socially skilled enough to get women at home, yet in the FSU at least we get some attention & action even if it is problematic.

Hhhaŕa Trench..... You kind of missed what I was saying. I'm far from your impression of me.... 3 years ago I was emotionally destroyed by a woman, more untrusting than you, obese, had no self-esteem, depressed, had a minor substance abuse problem, failing business and couldn't string two words together in front of a woman.......I was the loser you asked about in another topic.
All I was getting at is for many, including myself, it's hard to attract women . I was determined not to be alone and took at steps to change the way I approached dating  and my life. If you're not having much  success locally, work on yourself like I did and I think it will pay off in this endeavor.

I'm not having a go at you at all. If you put all the time you spend here into a term I hate using "your game" you probably wouldn't have to look for a woman any further than your street.
« Last Edit: October 07, 2017, 03:22:19 PM by Davo »

Offline Bounder

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 345
  • Country: ru
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #85 on: October 07, 2017, 02:14:03 PM »
Very re-assuring. Perhaps I should step up a notch and send better signals that I am capable of commitment. Perhaps it's simply paranoia from me for fear of being stringed along for the ride and played with by this 21 year old lass with admittedly mesmerizingly beautiful eyes gleaming with intellect.

It's not due to lack of approach that I've only ended up with her solely as the strongest prospect at the moment, enough to warrant a visit. It's simply because I haven't found others who have met my criteria manners-wise (no visible tattoos), chemistry-wise and to a lesser extent looks-wise, though I'll admit I fancy curvy types but no dealbreaker :rolleyes:

Oh btw, do you think she's serious about her Orthodox faith? She told me before she observes the Lent fast, where she had to control her emotions and refrain from meat etc.

Personally, I would've given up after the one word answers waiting several days in coming.  But now she is talking to you about her religion?  Maybe she is opening up.  But honestly, from what I've seen on this thread it doesn't sound like she's interested in you.  You're wasting your time with this one, IMO.

Offline BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16105
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #86 on: October 07, 2017, 02:38:47 PM »
I was determined not to be alone and took at steps to change the way I approached dating  and my life. If you're not having much  success locally, work on yourself like I did and I think it will pay off in this endeavor



Good job. A guy improving himself to increase his chances of success with ladies is the best thing you he can do. Most men go into this endeavor without any intention of self improvement. They want women to accept them the way they are. They forget they have competition to deal with.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Anotherkiwi

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4089
  • Country: nz
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #87 on: October 07, 2017, 04:13:24 PM »
Someone should mention the likes of Turbo to TMD .... 'period'..  I have a mate 62- married to a thirty-two year old wife- they have two beautiful daughters ...( OK that's not international ) ... there are ( lots ) of exceptions to the 'rule' - if one scratches the surface.

Of course the likelihood is that such marriages won't last - but there are plenty of exceptions to prove the rule.  I have friends who are 73 and 45 who have been together for nearly 25 years, and married for nearly 20; 53 and 28, together for 10 years, married for (I think) 7, with three lovely boys; and nearly 70 with a 50 year old wife, who've known each other for more than thirty years, but only got together romantically after his first wife died of cancer about 10 or 12 years ago.  And, even at 50, she is one of the physically most beautiful women I know.

Offline Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8322
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • 🇺🇦
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #88 on: October 08, 2017, 01:03:20 AM »
Hhhaŕa Trench..... You kind of missed what I was saying. I'm far from your impression of me.... 3 years ago I was emotionally destroyed by a woman, more untrusting than you, obese, had no self-esteem, depressed, had a minor substance abuse problem, failing business and couldn't string two words together in front of a woman.......I was the loser you asked about in another topic.
All I was getting at is for many, including myself, it's hard to attract women . I was determined not to be alone and took at steps to change the way I approached dating  and my life. If you're not having much  success locally, work on yourself like I did and I think it will pay off in this endeavor.

I'm not having a go at you at all. If you put all the time you spend here into a term I hate using "your game" you probably wouldn't have to look for a woman any further than your street.

Sure, but I kind of think that inherently you always had the genes there to be a good communicator/socialiser that because you were beaten down you were not your normal self and your low self worth at the time meant you thought that was all you were and could not change. Moving on from that, being able to date 500 woman as a paid speed dater and date 50 of those women i.E 10 percent is no mean feat. I have dated roughly 80 women speed dating as a paying customer and like most gus got a big fat zero. Why? Because like most of the guys there I am not socially skilled and where I live in particular being a middle class area women place great emphasis on the guy being socially skilled. I'm not fat, I have a got crop of hair, not greying and reasonably youthful looking and I would feel handsome for a guy in his very late thirties. Yet with women here that counts for not a great deal, they want someone good with social skills then all the rest. They have a big long tick box sheet and I don tick enough boxes particularly the main one which is having gift of the gab. FSW will at least give me time day and maybe women in a more down to earth part of UK might, say Wales or up north. Still I know that even with FSW its going to be a major disadvantage and make this all a lot harder for me. Yes you are right Davo it is something I am going to have to put way more time into but I think I am only likely to ever improve a little at best.

At the moment I am renovating my house as it looks a bit of a state. This will also give me the ability to improve inome by renting out a couple of rooms. I have also started to focus a little on improving myself a more muscular form though admittedly I will never be able to rival TMD ;D and other little aspects that may all add up. Socialising more I will try to work on when I have more time though admittedly it's always been an area I've struggled with so I don't think improving like you did Davo will be possible here. I also suspect Kyn may struggle on the social skills front. Anyway, thanks for your advice Davo I much appreciate it.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8322
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • 🇺🇦
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #89 on: October 08, 2017, 01:13:56 AM »
Personally, I would've given up after the one word answers waiting several days in coming.  But now she is talking to you about her religion?  Maybe she is opening up.  But honestly, from what I've seen on this thread it doesn't sound like she's interested in you.  You're wasting your time with this one, IMO.

Bounder man, how is it going? :D It's good to see you on here once again. It's been so long I thought you may have ended your days in Moscow. Last I heard you were Foreign language  teaching there and had just found a woman - is all still good there?

Anyway, I think you are right with the point you make to Kyn. Looking back I spent too long messaging girls who only gave one or a few word answers back. Seeing how much response you really need from a FSW to have a go of things such replies arent even in the ballast park of what seems to be needed.

Kyn I would keep up with this woman since you never know but spend less effort on her. Widen your search and try to find a woman that is more willing to communicate with you. You can visit all of them next time then chose your pick.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline msmob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10618
  • Country: ie
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #90 on: October 08, 2017, 06:56:05 AM »
Kyn,

I seriously recommend you listen to our long-term dating expert, Trench :)


Offline Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8322
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • 🇺🇦
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #91 on: October 08, 2017, 08:41:02 AM »
Kyn,

I seriously recommend you listen to our long-term dating expert, Trench :)

Thanks Mobers :D we'll have to get our double date sorted out in Sochi sometime. We could go see a movie :popcorn: you can hold the popcorn while I fondle SC's 38C's ;D
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline msmob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10618
  • Country: ie
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #92 on: October 08, 2017, 09:18:34 AM »
Yup, that's about the extent of your 'experience'  ...your imagination  :ROFL:

Offline Boethius

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3072
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #93 on: October 08, 2017, 01:01:40 PM »
Sir yes sir! But as a research student, I also have to juggle other commitments, sigh. One needs approval from the supervisor before one has the chance to even consider taking time off to visit her. Indeed, I am a slave of the financial system for the time being. The earliest window for now is April, and I guess she'll just have to wait  :'( I figure if she is into me, it won't matter how long she has to wait so long as I never break my promises.... right?

Nah I don't fit the bad boy stereotype at all. I try my best to rely on my past experience but I think I probably wasn't prepared well enough. I think the girl hinted that it's normal to receive a bouquet of flowers when boy meets girl (and I didn't give her any!)...  Do you think that is really the case?  :cluebat:

Indeed, without physical intimacy,  :-[ it is perhaps very difficult to seal the deal (or does this not matter much at all?). Hopefully future hug bots and virtual reality will solve this  :P . In the meantime.... what would you suggest I do? Skype more?

That would have been true Billy, until the last two weeks when she started becoming more intimate by using words eg. "my darling" not used before? Or does this mean she is simply working her way through potential suitors and have winded her numbers down? If indeed, she had so many guys flocking to her in the first place?

To be fair, she was informed two days prior to my arrival so it's not like it was too sudden, and plus she saw how much time and effort (visa, tickets etc for an originally month-long trip) I spent to make my trip happen, which must've hopefully meant something to her I guess?  :-\

Don't worry I'm not intimidated by the costs for the visits etc and I have not moved to the stage where I am asking her to come live with me already but work commitments do limit my travel time/window a lot  :'( The lass is working part-time jobs btw and she say she needs to save to consider travelling again so.... I guess this means I have to visit most of the time.

Yeah I think it works both ways and we are just testing each other up to see how serious we are.   :arguing:  , I am just afraid I am wasting my time, being strung along and joining a queue of hundreds of guys waiting for a chance to be with her and she is just playing with us.  :( SHe does have many admirers post on her wall, though she never replies to them :D

As of 2017, Tis Very True! Part of my reasons for venturing into Russia the first time.

Lol, such a player :D

If I'm not mistaken, I think you will find that typically, sincere women above 30 will play less games whilst my experience with the ladies under 24 (partly my criteria since I am 24), seems to show that they do not necessarily know what they want and often times there is a higher chance she is playing games to entice more demand from the guys. How was I so sure? I have been rejected and outright blocked by many ladies 30 and above when I tried to have conversation with them  :sad: :ROFL:
Quote:" No, you are too young..."  :rolleyes: :ROFL:

I agree, I do not think Elena's website is as popular nowadays. Haven't managed to meet any "interesting" ladies and on top of that, you really have to pay to play. Otherwise not much you can do over there. And the pool of ladies over there + how long the website takes to load a profile discouraged me from going further there.




She's 21.  You are just one of many options.  If she is a serious person (which based on your description, she seems to be), she is going to study and get a job.  You, at this point, are secondary because you are not there on a daily basis.  Any woman of quality would do the same at that age.  Education comes first.  I would hazard a guess her parents tell her that as well.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline Boethius

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3072
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #94 on: October 08, 2017, 01:20:41 PM »
Sure, but I kind of think that inherently you always had the genes there to be a good communicator/socialiser that because you were beaten down you were not your normal self and your low self worth at the time meant you thought that was all you were and could not change. Moving on from that, being able to date 500 woman as a paid speed dater and date 50 of those women i.E 10 percent is no mean feat. I have dated roughly 80 women speed dating as a paying customer and like most gus got a big fat zero. Why? Because like most of the guys there I am not socially skilled and where I live in particular being a middle class area women place great emphasis on the guy being socially skilled. I'm not fat, I have a got crop of hair, not greying and reasonably youthful looking and I would feel handsome for a guy in his very late thirties. Yet with women here that counts for not a great deal, they want someone good with social skills then all the rest. They have a big long tick box sheet and I don tick enough boxes particularly the main one which is having gift of the gab. FSW will at least give me time day and maybe women in a more down to earth part of UK might, say Wales or up north. Still I know that even with FSW its going to be a major disadvantage and make this all a lot harder for me. Yes you are right Davo it is something I am going to have to put way more time into but I think I am only likely to ever improve a little at best.


Rather than blaming the women, look at yourself and why you are striking out.  Don't assume that because you are inept with women in the UK, you'll be less inept in the FSU.  The problem is with you, not the women.


It's probably not social skills, it's likely you come across as lacking confidence.  All women want a man who is confident.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Online 2tallbill

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12413
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Living the dream
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #95 on: October 08, 2017, 02:08:44 PM »
Within that 6 month period, I did manage to arrange to meet her once in her city (Moscow)

Hi,

I am not trying to be negative, but basically you have been a Keyboard Romeo
for six months albeit one that she liked a bit. A single meeting in six months and
shes been acting noncommittal, that's not a surprise.

My # 1 advice is that you need to decide to either sh!t or get off the pot.
Either get on a plane and meet her for 10 days (or more) or tell her
to have good luck with her life and never bother the poor girl again.

If I was interested enough in a girl to spend that much time talking to her
then I would have gotten on a plane, romanced her, seduced her and curled
her toes.

If you decide to dump her, then do it and try to avoid wasting this much time
in the future. If you decide to pursue this girl then you need to pursue her as
if it was the most important thing that you will do in your entire life.
Because it is

If you do that, then she will mirror you. She will treat this as vastly important
and will drop other things to make sure that that building this relationship is her
first priority. (This is assuming that she is a good girl).

My #2 advice is to Dump her or get on a plane.

So she replied to that last week, and THAT ladies and gents, is where she ALL OF A SUDDEN, for some UNEXPLAINED REASON, became an energizer bunny and started sending me voice-mails like the first one (saying she hadn't heard from me for AGES  :-\) which I've attached below.

Then today, she started calling me "my darling"  :shock:

I am just trying to wrap my head around and understand why the sudden change? It really feels as if an emotional pipe in her has suddenly burst open. But....if so, why has it only burst after 6 months?

Have I been stringed along? If she wanted the chase, why make it so long? Was I being played games for almost half a year? I'm not sure what to make of it  :cluebat:

Maybe she caught the local guy she was banging, in bed with somebody else, so
she decided to kick start things to see if you were the real deal or not.

Who knows, you've been approaching this like plate tectonics and carbon dating and
she has been mirroring your efforts. 
 

« Last Edit: October 08, 2017, 02:21:47 PM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8322
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • 🇺🇦
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #96 on: October 09, 2017, 01:04:54 AM »

Rather than blaming the women, look at yourself and why you are striking out.  Don't assume that because you are inept with women in the UK, you'll be less inept in the FSU.  The problem is with you, not the women.


It's probably not social skills, it's likely you come across as lacking confidence.  All women want a man who is confident.

Thanks Boe, appreciate the advice. Well I would like to think I am not the worst around on social skills and am always looking to to improve. Some people I think perhaps even lack the ability to recognise they need impromenr in this area as it can kind of make them out of touch. Someone like BillyB and by the sounds of it Davo definitely have better social skills than me. Confidence, well I'm more than confident in my field of expertise but not at all confident socially. I'm ok one to one or even one to two but in social situations say like a party or with someone I don't know well I often don't know what to say or come across well. Some people for example can really engage well at parties with total strangers and really make a positive impact almost instantly.

With a girl where there is attraction I struggle to have the confidence to chat her up or ask her out. There often seems to be added pressure in such a situation of her expecting the guy to do it all. That is where FSU dating helps out as I can get dates with such girls (well potentially it's just a case of finding girl with chemistry) and the getting to know and asking out is pretty much done for me over messaging rather than in person. I also know the girl is single and looking to date. Plus as she is not someone I see day to day I do not lose face if there's a knock back. Ok you may think use local dating sites like Match but these have a far lower success rate in terms of even getting a girl to message you. They are inundated with guys on there trying to message them and most guys end up sending out loads of messages and getting no response so sites like Match are a pointless task.

I think I'm just probably best of going out to FSU meeting more women and hopefully things will improve after getting some more experience in.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8322
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • 🇺🇦
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #97 on: October 09, 2017, 01:07:53 AM »
I think 2tallbill is right. I sense Kyn may be quite heavily a very geeky type of guy and this is impacting he's chances here.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline BdHvA

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 676
  • Country: nl
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #98 on: October 09, 2017, 07:05:49 AM »
"It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God."  From the New Testament.

Trenchcoat your dispensing advice is quite rich.

For myself I can only say so far everything you have posted would not apply to my situation. Certainly share your opinions and thoughts, but consider most posters have more on the ground expierence than you do.

If your desire is a woman from the former Soviet Union the best way in my opinion send time in the region. You are not embarking of a fishing voyage or a hunting trip.
« Last Edit: October 09, 2017, 07:28:40 AM by BdHvA »
Experierence is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you. A. Huxley

Offline Boethius

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3072
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: Why the sudden desire to open up?
« Reply #99 on: October 12, 2017, 02:32:15 PM »
I think 2tallbill is right. I sense Kyn may be quite heavily a very geeky type of guy and this is impacting he's chances here.


No, she is just young and focusing her energy on studies.  Stable young women of quality focus their energies on getting educated, not on chasing a man.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

 

+-RWD Stats

Members
Total Members: 8883
Latest: Leroy14
New This Month: 1
New This Week: 0
New Today: 0
Stats
Total Posts: 541009
Total Topics: 20849
Most Online Today: 2013
Most Online Ever: 12701
(January 14, 2020, 07:04:55 AM)
Users Online
Members: 11
Guests: 1857
Total: 1868

+-Recent Posts

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Today at 02:48:08 PM

Re: What to do by krimster2
Today at 01:09:03 PM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by Trenchcoat
Today at 12:51:13 PM

Re: What to do by Trenchcoat
Today at 12:33:48 PM

Re: If you don't know what you are talking about, post away anyway by Trenchcoat
Today at 12:24:44 PM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Today at 11:16:08 AM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by ML
Today at 10:31:43 AM

Re: What to do by krimster2
Today at 09:47:10 AM

What to do by 2tallbill
Today at 09:37:41 AM

Re: If you don't know what you are talking about, post away anyway by 2tallbill
Today at 09:18:17 AM

Powered by EzPortal