Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff

[msmob]

According to the poll, there is two Trenches on this forum. Will the real Trench stand up? The poll has an error margin of +/-  3%.

There's THREE, now; )

[JayH]

?)

As I see it - it's a tie - 4 folks think your a dreamer and 4 think you're their dating hero)

Moby -- the only thing obvious from the is that he is not the only complete idiot on the forum !

[Maxx2]

my single brothers...

early neolithic farmers learned how to separate the wheat from the chaff at harvest time
and if you’re expecting any kind of harvest in Ukraine, you need to learn how to do the same
that is, separate the women who will sleep with you, from those who won’t...

now, let me begin with a disclaimer here, so the religious righty-right won’t have the usual knee-jerk reaction.  all women should be treated respectfully, they are truly one of the most beautiful things in the universe.  any kind of physical coercion of a woman is despicable, period, and frankly unnecessary.  psychological coercion is fair game by me, since women use it on men constantly, what’s good for the goose...

so my brothers, let me show you my little “thresing machine”
it works like this:

you meet a woman on the street in Kyiv, and you invite her to lunch
at lunch you invite her to diner
at diner, you mention that the Spanish word for bathroom is “banyo” and you heard the Russian word “banya” is that the same as “bathroom”?
No, it isn’t!
after she explains it to you, you say with enthusiasm that you want to go, but then with some hesitation, “not by yourself...” and let your voice trail off...
if she has any interest in you at all, she’ll volunteer herself as your companion...
if not, you finish diner, tell her good night, and “move on"
all the 5 star hotels in Ukraine will have a banya in the ground floor or basement
now, the next part is the part that requires some “finesse” on your part
your joint banya experience will go one of two ways, either you go into separate saunas and showers or you share one...
obviously you want to share one, since this will mean being naked with her!
I personally have never had separate saunas with a woman in Kyiv, even if I had only known her over diner...

ok?

i’ve taken you this far...
the rest is up to you...

So you invite them to share a public toilet with you? Am I missing something?

[Sting23]

Moby -- the only thing obvious from the is that he is not the only complete idiot on the forum !

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

[BillyB]

There are now 5 Trenches on this forum according to the poll which make Trench himselves(plural) tied for the lead. What is the new margin for error on this poll?

[msmob]

Trench must be pleased so many members want to BE him

[Hammer2722]

Moby -- the only thing obvious from the is that he is not the only complete idiot on the forum !

or maybe it just tells you how silly this poll is, lol

[msmob]

or maybe it just tells you how silly this poll is, lol

 

[krimster2]

"So you invite them to share a public toilet with you? Am I missing something? "

a Russian banya is a sauna and not a toilette
In the Soviet Period, “Physical Culture” was heavily emphasized in the CCCP, so masses of Russians exercising at the beach, jumping into the Black Sea in the middle of winter, etc are all normal.  some Soviet traditions have not been diminished by time...

the sauna is a part of that (though obviously predates the Soviet period, the Soviet Period accelerated it), every Russian woman knows what a banya is...
as I said earlier, easier to cut “with the grain” of social traditions, than to cut “against” it

if the two of you go to a banya together (after the 3rd data rule)
you will go together to the same banya and not separate
you will have to disrobe in the changing room together
you will have to go to a small wooden room that if you’re lucky is 10x10‘
and while you are completely naked you will sit next to your GF who is also completely naked!
ok, that’s the “objective description”
what about the subjective?
what do you feel when you see a woman naked for the first time?
young Ukrainian women have
well toned bodies, flawless glistening(in the sauna) skin, the women I took to banyas were all 9s
some blond/blue eyes, pale skin
some dark hair/eyes but because they were into “physical culture” had all-over tan
all of them looked like olympic athletes
sitting naked next to you!

this is what I call the “presentation phase”
and this is where it can get interestin’
subtle provocative poses, both you and her
you want to ‘escalate’ into maybe not so subtle

second phase is the “shower phase” to wash off the sweat!
you both get into the shower together
if you have a washcloth, it is very gentlemanly to hold in you hand
and use it to lightly scrub her back and torso and legs and ‘other’ places

third optional phase (because not all banyas will have this) is the “pool phase”
hopefully the pool will have steps in the corners
if it does, descend a few steps and sit
choose a step that lets “part” of you be out of the water while you’re reclined
heaven........

the reason this works is because the banya “outwardly” is asexual, familes do banyas together in Russia, so it starts out this way, but it quickly becomes ‘subverted’ or is better to say ‘perverted’?

OK, got it now?

[krimster2]

one aspect of Russian physical culture is the beach scene
VERY different from the American beach scene
swim suits can be anything in Russia, I’ve seen plenty of adults wade into the water wearing their underwear!!!  pre-pubescent children, even older ones!  are allowed to run around the beach sans clothing!  my 2 daughters took a keen interest in this when they noticed boys their own ages running naked on the beach.

Oh malchiki!!!!
daddy, can we go play with those boys?
umm, well, actually I’d prefer...
thanks daddy!
malchiki! idisooda!

"chips off the block, these two..."
cadets are doomed!

[Trenchcoat]

Krimster your knowledge of sauna/banja culture in the FSU on here is golden I've enjoyed hearing every moment of it and areas where I might improve my banja technique. If it were left to Mobers we would all be thinking a banja experience is wearing a cloth dunce hat while some gay dude beats you with a broom, lol.

[alex330]

Be careful, Krimsters knowledge is a bit outdated. The banya scene in Moscow is more on the gay side these days.

[krimster2]

and he's right as well about what he describes!
it's a different kind of banya, like the family banya
which can be a very relaxing and enjoyable day at the dacha
like I said, this is more my speed now
it's very "earthy"

but the seduction banya is also a real thing as well
expanding on the "psychology" of why this works...
Russian women have this thing about not being perceived as "cheap"
this is why they were terrified of the matrons on the 5 star hotels in kyiv
they've been "conditioned" to think this way
to seduce a Russian woman you have to treat her like she's a princess
do that and the rest is simple...

[krimster2]

"The banya scene in Moscow is more on the gay side these days."

well, your lucky day then!!!
not that there's anything wrong with that

[msmob]

If it were left to Mobers we would all be thinking a banja experience is wearing a cloth dunce hat while some gay dude beats you with a broom, lol.

'We' would all be more realistic about Banyas ....but you can continue to dream on ...

[Trenchcoat]

'We' would all be more realistic about Banyas ....but you can continue to dream on ...

Ha, ha, ha, so old Trenchy here has experienced a side of FSU life that Mobers did not know about nor have access too, lol.

I can tell you its there Mobe, from someone the other side of the fence. Its a world of seduction & temptation you have not yet transcended too. To you our forum 'authority' on everything FSU this will remain a hidden side to FSU society you are not privy to nor believe even exists!

[Trenchcoat]

but the seduction banya is also a real thing as well

Absolutely

to seduce a Russian woman you have to treat her like she's a princess
do that and the rest is simple...

Tell me more, teach, impart me you're wisdom

What sort of stuff do I do to treat her like a princess?
I may already be doing some of this stuff but just in case I'm missing anything important.

[Boethius]

a Russian banya is a sauna and not a toilette
In the Soviet Period, “Physical Culture” was heavily emphasized in the CCCP, so masses of Russians exercising at the beach, jumping into the Black Sea in the middle of winter, etc are all normal.  some Soviet traditions have not been diminished by time...

the sauna is a part of that (though obviously predates the Soviet period, the Soviet Period accelerated it), every Russian woman knows what a banya is...
as I said earlier, easier to cut “with the grain” of social traditions, than to cut “against” it

if the two of you go to a banya together (after the 3rd data rule) . .
the reason this works is because the banya “outwardly” is asexual, familes do banyas together in Russia, so it starts out this way, but it quickly becomes ‘subverted’ or is better to say ‘perverted’?

Hmm, not certain I agree with the "physical culture" of the USSR.  My FIL was a former athlete, in great shape, and he did swim in the Dnipro in winter.  He was very much an outlier in this.

The better half is also very athletic, and he used to jog in the park near our apartment.  He was deemed "an idiot" for this activity.  He even ran in forests when he was stationed at Chernobyl'.  No one could understand why he would waste his time running.

There was very much a culture of mineral baths, mineral waters, spas, and such.  Banyas, at least in Ukraine in Soviet times, were single sex only, or family.  One would be required to provide proof of marriage if going to a family banya.

[krimster2]

c'mon msmob
you must've been exposed(sorry) to this at some point
every big Russian\Ukrainian 5 star hotel has this
5 star hotel banyas are pretty much guys with their girl friends
and NOT family banyas

i've heard that Irishmen are shy and reserved, it's OK, man...
my wife loves that Pierce Brosnan fella

the beauty of this is the way you work the ambiguity of "banya"

if not the banya?
your recommendation?

[Sting23]

Krimster your knowledge of sauna/banja culture in the FSU on here is golden I've enjoyed hearing every moment of it and areas where I might improve my banja technique. If it were left to Mobers we would all be thinking a banja experience is wearing a cloth dunce hat while some gay dude beats you with a broom, lol.

what the hell is a "banja"? hahahhaah

[krimster2]

BO, when you were younger and lived in Kyiv did you ever go to one of the “beaches” long the Dnipro on a hot day, there’s a large famous one, but I can’t remember the name now

when I was there there was this big “exercise culture” thing going on at this spot
hundreds of people, exercising in various ways
in the USA you’d get volleyball and that’s about it
also your husband’s “polar” swimming, although it’s not like everyone does it, but it’s not a small number either

I’m surprised you never encountered this

I call it “Physical Culture” because it reminds me of the various “State Academies of Physical Culture” located throughout Ukraine like in Kharkiv, Ukraine has a lot of people associated with this..

c’mon Bo, you can’t be one of those people who believed “There is no sex in the Soviet Union”
it’s OK if you want to be coy (with me...)

you're human to, share with us, you had to see some interesting things...

[Boethius]

Yes, Hydropark was very popular.  But there was no discernible exercise culture there in Soviet times.  There were gyms, and there were, for example, bodybuilders, but it's not like it is there now.

It was far more difficult to have sex if unmarried, because people generally did not live alone, although of course there were exceptions, and they could not rent hotel rooms in their cities, and if in other cities, no guests of the opposite sex were allowed if unmarried.  So, one would have to find a time when family members were out, or resort to outdoor sex (which was quite common, at least in Ukraine). 

[krimster2]

"Yes, Hydropark was very popular. "

that's the name!!! yes, exercise culture is very popular now!!!!

yeah the lack of opportunity problem was solved in creative ways
I was doing "midnight archeology" one night under a full moon in Chersonese
had to give up and go home because too many people were there trying
to look for a secluded spot to have a sex
and one couple almost fell into the hole I dug!!!

[Boethius]

I should have qualified, by unmarried, I meant young couples, not divorcees.  Divorcees were a completely different story.  They usually lived alone and were what the better half would describe as "sexually disturbed", he said you could see it in their eyes.  He used to get hit on all the time.  It was never direct, usually on the pretense of needing something repaired in her apartment.  He always said no, but he would direct them to men he worked with who he knew would be willing to "do the job".

There were areas of Kyiv you could go to, to find a partner for the night, the area just off Khreshchatyk near the Opera House being one (still the same), another area if you were a woman looking for two men, yet another if you were a man looking for two women, another if you only wanted to perform oral, etc. - any variation you can think of.  All of these places are still active.

The public bathrooms on Khreshchatyk were well known for gay sex. 

[Trenchcoat]

what the hell is a "banja"? hahahhaah

Its the kinky form of Banya