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Author Topic: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...  (Read 6371 times)

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Offline ML

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #75 on: May 24, 2018, 12:33:36 PM »
ML you're way off. When I was in grad school, MSC (Physics) back when dinosaurs still walked the Earth we were required to have reading proficiency in at least one foreign language. Some universities required two. Don't know if this applies in the UK.

Does knowledge of a second language have anything to do with career potential? Yes for instance learning Mandarin Chinese is popular in some grad schools simply because of the varied areas of research coming out of China and because China is the most likely country to challenge the US. If the OP is in any of the STEMs learning Russian or Chinese would certainly be desirable. 

Dave, I know that most here cannot read clearly.

But I was surprised coming from you, given your profession and the need to read details clearly.

I wrote:  "Now of course, it is certainly true that learning a foreign language (or several) can be useful to those who NEED such in their career path."
I still like Ike.

Offline Boethius

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #76 on: May 24, 2018, 12:35:58 PM »
For a PhD, one should learn a language that will be most useful for the area of study - i.e., a language in which a significant amount of useful research is done.


Also, in most PhD programmes, one need only learn to read a second, or third language.  There is no requirement to speak it.
« Last Edit: May 24, 2018, 01:03:27 PM by Boethius »
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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #77 on: May 24, 2018, 12:44:10 PM »
I think you missed the part where this gal regularly gives herself orgasms at age 18.
She is fully awake sexually and is actually probably in the top 10-20% of women with regard to interest in sex.
Even today, many girls and women do not give themselves orgasms and many have never even had one such.
Many teenage girls simply have not felt the urge to provide themselves with an orgasm, even as they have romantic thoughts of princes on white horses, etc.

I am not quite sure regarding the concept of what providing orgasms to ones self does for women with respect to lessening the desire to have sex with someone or increasing the desire to have sex with someone.  I suspect the latter.

When I was with my last girl on the first week together in Kiev the first night or two I could hear her kicking with her leg on the mattress and she started moving across the mattress towards my side. Think it was on the second night she pulled me around and stuck her tongue in my mouth and gave me a long deep snog (she kept to the 3 night sex rule though). It's only later it occurred to me that she was almost certainly masturbating :D She followed up one of those times by having the kiss with me and I think later on sex also. So I think its could well be the latter also that it increases the desire to have sex with someone.   

Online DaveNY

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #78 on: May 24, 2018, 12:45:15 PM »
Dave, I know that most here cannot read clearly.

But I was surprised coming from you, given your profession and the need to read details clearly.

I wrote:  "Now of course, it is certainly true that learning a foreign language (or several) can be useful to those who NEED such in their career path."

ML that's just it the OP is still in university he's far from chosen his career path. When I went to university I took math and physics and I literally had planned on being an astronaut or working on the moon or Mars. Seriously these were valid career options for me at the time. I've been a lawyer for 40 years. Things change especially in grad school when you learn more about your career options and grad school burnout. 

Offline ML

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #79 on: May 24, 2018, 01:31:33 PM »
ML that's just it the OP is still in university he's far from chosen his career path. When I went to university I took math and physics and I literally had planned on being an astronaut or working on the moon or Mars. Seriously these were valid career options for me at the time. I've been a lawyer for 40 years. Things change especially in grad school when you learn more about your career options and grad school burnout.

I assume he is well into his path since he is doing research.  So, if he needed a FL for his degree, he would already know about it and probably be done with it.

I too was going to major in physics so, even as undergrad, I took German as I knew it would be required for grad school.
But I switched majors, twice . . .
I still like Ike.

Online DaveNY

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #80 on: May 24, 2018, 02:05:52 PM »
I assume he is well into his path since he is doing research.  So, if he needed a FL for his degree, he would already know about it and probably be done with it.

I too was going to major in physics so, even as undergrad, I took German as I knew it would be required for grad school.
But I switched majors, twice . . .

German and French for me. German because of the science and grad school and my hero was and still is Albert Einstein. French because of a g/f who was studying French.

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #81 on: May 24, 2018, 05:25:08 PM »
I think I stated already that I believe that the aptitude for foreign languages, almost regardless of age while of course easier when young, depends on personal brain structure - like the aptitude in other areas like mathematics, arts, athletics, etc. etc.

I speak 4 languages rather well and can manage to form some sentences in other half a dozen 'weird' others, from Greek to Arabic to Japanese, studied in my advanced 60s. The first thing I acquire speedily is their sounds, probably due to a certain musical ear of mine - again another brain ability.

Becoming fluent is another matter, it requires regular exposure and practice.
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Online msmob

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #82 on: May 24, 2018, 11:46:16 PM »
It has nothing to do with being a clever chap.

Au contraire - it has EVERYTHING ... I not only meatn that Kyn is bright - he is wise for his age

Life is about learning through practicalities as well as academia. If learning another language is a diversionary  pleasure - so be it .

Somebody telling another it is a 'waste of time' is plain insane - to each their own, surely ?
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Offline myrddin

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #83 on: May 25, 2018, 07:45:22 AM »
I think I stated already that I believe that the aptitude for foreign languages, almost regardless of age while of course easier when young, depends on personal brain structure - like the aptitude in other areas like mathematics, arts, athletics, etc. etc.

I speak 4 languages rather well and can manage to form some sentences in other half a dozen 'weird' others, from Greek to Arabic to Japanese, studied in my advanced 60s. The first thing I acquire speedily is their sounds, probably due to a certain musical ear of mine - again another brain ability.

Becoming fluent is another matter, it requires regular exposure and practice.

I've seen this, too, and there is growing evidence that neuroplasticity doesn't fade as quickly as once thought.

I know someone (from Sandro's part of the world, actually) who spoke a few languages beforehand and when he met his russian lady he went from zero to native Tolstoy in a few months. A musical type, too, without much of an accent (at least in English).

I would say it's worth trying to learn as much of the language as you possibly can.
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein

Offline Sting23

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #84 on: May 25, 2018, 08:47:13 AM »
I've seen this, too, and there is growing evidence that neuroplasticity doesn't fade as quickly as once thought.

I know someone (from Sandro's part of the world, actually) who spoke a few languages beforehand and when he met his russian lady he went from zero to native Tolstoy in a few months. A musical type, too, without much of an accent (at least in English).

I would say it's worth trying to learn as much of the language as you possibly can.

Native Tolstoy probably not! but conversationally fluent perhaps.  Even if you heard the language 24/7 a few months is too short a time to be fluent.  That has been proven by polyglots.

Europeans like the Swiss, Dutch and Scandinavians seem to pick up English very well as a 2nd or 3rd language.  Russians not so much.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #85 on: May 25, 2018, 09:48:40 AM »
Well we're really talking about the other way around here Sting, i.e she & her Mum have asked Kyn to learn Russian. She is Russian and apparently knows English pretty fluent. On that basis I think it's even more of a luxury to learn Russian well - if she had trouble learning English as some Russians do then I might see why. Personally   my thought is maybe she could mix in the odd word of Russian in an otherwise English sentence when she talks to or messages with Kyn to help him learn Russian & make it more fun learning. He can guess or she can explain what the word is. Then gradually over time up the number of Russian words used.

Kyn is Singaporean by decent apparently so I'm not sure if that will make it easier or harder for him to learn a language, I'll guess easier. If he was an English guy by descent then I would say most English guys find learning a foreign language particularly hard, I'm certainly no exception. English girls and probably women I general I think pick up languages more easily, not all but many. I think this is probably down to the difference in how the female brain works, which side they think with some researchers have said.

I would love to learn Russian but so far fluency in other languages have alluded me when I learnt them years ago. I've tried learning Russian with all sorts of self learn materials but it's a tough task and one I've only got so much time for. So I'm down to the few badly pronounced words if I so wish to torture a Russian recipient with them :) Learning a bit more Russian would no doubt make me feel more comfortable when abroad though and be less of an outsider.

Online msmob

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #86 on: May 27, 2018, 02:27:52 AM »
Our Trench just doesn't GET it ..

Wishing Kyn to learn some Russian is a mark of respect and interest in  - in particular, the elder family members want to understand him.

IF you try to converse in their language it is so pleasing to them and rewarding for you

IF such learning is burdensome and unpleasurable  - this is possibly another clue as to as to Trench's suitability for this venture

So many guys expect their wives to come to another country - learn the lingo nd customs and NEVER go back to their home country - during visits home - rather sad

« Last Edit: May 27, 2018, 02:29:33 AM by msmob »
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Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #87 on: May 27, 2018, 07:18:17 AM »
Europeans like the Swiss, Dutch and Scandinavians seem to pick up English very well as a 2nd or 3rd language.
The Swiss are taught 3 languages at school (German, French, Italian) corresponding to the 3 cultures in their country.


The native languages of the Netherlands, Denmark, Norway and Sweden belong to the Germanic family like English, which mostly explains their citizens' ease in acquiring the latter ;).
« Last Edit: May 27, 2018, 12:23:07 PM by SANDRO43 »
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Online BdHvA

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #88 on: May 27, 2018, 07:33:39 AM »
When I was with my last girl on the first week together in Kiev the first night or two I could hear her kicking with her leg on the mattress and she started moving across the mattress towards my side. Think it was on the second night she pulled me around and stuck her tongue in my mouth and gave me a long deep snog (she kept to the 3 night sex rule though). It's only later it occurred to me that she was almost certainly masturbating :D She followed up one of those times by having the kiss with me and I think later on sex also. So I think its could well be the latter also that it increases the desire to have sex with someone.

Excuse me. No male with common sense, a member (dinkle docker, Peter, wicked willy. . .) or intuition could possibly be so clueless.
Experierence is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you. A. Huxley

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #89 on: May 27, 2018, 12:46:32 PM »
The Swiss are taught 3 languages at school (German, French, Italian) corresponding to the 3 cultures in their country.


The native languages of the Netherlands, Denmark, Norway and Sweden belong to the Germanic family like English, which mostly explains their citizens' ease in acquiring the latter ;).

I must say I found German more natural to learn & easier to pick up than French. I think if I had put a but of time into furthering my knowledge of German post GCSE & spent a bit of time out there, I could probably obtain a decent conversational grasp of it without a lot of trouble/huge effort. That said I really had no need for it though. Fun to learn at the time but I find particularly the more foreign languages not an easy task for me. Probaby not the way my mind is geared towards languages like some, stuff like music I found even more baffling to understand.

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #90 on: May 27, 2018, 05:25:02 PM »
I must say I found German more natural to learn & easier to pick up than French.
Are you surprised :o? French is a Latin-derived language, you Dumbkopf :(.
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Offline kynrazor

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #91 on: May 31, 2018, 09:46:55 AM »
It was mostly cultural with her, so I can imagine that your girls surrounding religious upbringing also have a big impact.
I chalked that down in my - mistakes book - and learned from it. And it seems, so have you :)

Perhaps this was what happened with Girl1. It was hard for me to decide for sure, but I couldn't be bothered to be left hanging, especially when I still needed to consider other prospects. Maybe I misjudged but well, in hindsight, one can always think of what might've or could've been.

I think four days is a bit soon to expect a young girl to give you indications of her feelings.  She probably didn't know what her feelings were.  I just think what you did was very unfeeling.  In your shoes, I would send her an apology about how you told her.  There is nothing wrong in deciding she's not the one for you, for whatever reason.  But you could have done it in a far more sensitive manner.

Perhaps I was going too fast. Or perhaps, she wanted someone different. I think it is always hard to make the decision, given the limited information I had garnered over Girl1. Be it sensitive or not, I think it was only right for her to know the truth, fully. At the very least, we can move on and not shed more tears in the process if it was prolonged and dragged out. Should I have spoken to her in person about it? I probably would've, if it were not my first time in an unfamiliar city, faced with unfamiliar societal norms and language barriers. I do hope though, that we shall retain a decent friendship.

Now, I need to say something to the OP about #3.  She has a lot of temptation in front of her.  She's only 18 and is a pretty gal.  When she goes away to college she will not have her parents to answer to.  Keep the relationship alive, to be the best of your ability, but don't be surprised if she takes a fork in the road. Neither you, nor she, are ready to be married yet.  If she remains steadfast, then you have a good woman.  But at 18, I know few women who went to college that were ready to be in a relationship that would last a lifetime.  (And here I should say especially a gal who is as sexually charged as she seems to be.)

I have to agree with Nightwish.  While you didn't get the vibe you were looking for from #1, I believe that she was probably the most ready to start a life with a man.  Just sayin.

Not sure about Girl1 man. I think in hindsight, she really took care of me very well and went out of her way to make sure I was comfortable and safe. The slight language barrier and the frequent misunderstandings didn't do much to help though.

I agree about Girl3. Anyway, if she leaves me, I can at least take solace in the fact that I may still be in my late twenties, ready to start afresh again, hopefully the wiser. The hope is that indeed, she shall remain steadfast, and the young relationship shall last. A baptism of fire is what it shall be, for sure.

When I got home I sent her a long email explaining how much I had enjoyed her company, and how much I had learnt by being with her (all true), but that it was very clear that we didn't have enough in common to commit to a life together.  I would never, EVER end a relationship, even one that short, by anything other than a personal meeting - but maybe that's just me and the way I was brought up.

I think it's what I've found to be true in this trip alone. Sharing common values, beliefs, activities, morals etc these are the very foundations without which a long-term relationship would be almost next to impossible to have. Hindsight is perhaps easier to see but I thought that was the best decision during my trip, to have closure in the least painful way. The girl would think I wouldn't have been worthy to be her man at all and her self-esteem would be intact.
« Last Edit: May 31, 2018, 11:45:19 AM by kynrazor »
Sincerely,
Kyn

Offline kynrazor

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #92 on: May 31, 2018, 10:21:42 AM »
Yeah girl 3 did look a bit of the randy type :D

I think though  take the situation with girl 3 as the very good news it appears to be at the moment and run with that :)

Haha, fingers crossed mate. I hope I'll be able to keep up with her needs in the near future :D Anyway, I'm happy we share the same values and I hope that alone will suffice :)

Kyn, could easily have told the lass - before he left. Quite practical.

Very true. I'm hopeful, that bravery increases with age so that I'll be brave enough, if there ever is a next time.

I've never had these issues on home turf though.

Keep being honest with girl3 about your life's game plan and how she'll fit in. The wait to bring her over there is going to test you both. Time and distance can push people apart. visit her as much as you can. She probably won't ask you for anything but if you can spare $50 or $100 a month, send her some so she can buy some nice things for herself. Sending her some lets you know you care about her and that you value her. The little that you'd send is still cheaper than taking a girl out on 4 dates a month at home.

Yes indeed. It'll be a baptism of fire. I've had this thought in my mind that, if our relationship actually survive such challenging times so far away from each other, we'll be able to overcome anything.

She has never really asked me for anything :'( other than more time to be spent with me old self. And more time, is what I struggle to find for now, at least till I graduate in the next year for sure.

Kyn is a student and hardly a big earner, yet..  Lot's of steady relationships during Uni  years break up and even re-start after a time.

Billy's advice is more applicable to a guy with a regular income. Sending some money to an intended life partner is hardly daft...

I think it is quite true but I am not sure as to the reasons for break-ups for Uni relationships. I'm of the firm belief that Girl3 and I are of strong enough conviction to tide over this, but who knows.

She has never asked for material things or money for that matter though who knows things might change when she starts University. Her mother has been supporting her for a long time and will probably continue to do so for her University too.

Well Kyn, not meaning to pick apart matters, I think it seems like most women in the FSU dating scene seem to come with at least one caveat, pitfall, call it what you will. Here there is the time issue, as opposed to a woman the other side/towards the end of Uni that would be all ready to go. Admittedly its probably best not to get married overnight and a bit of time to build the relationship is not bad I guess to see how you both feel over time. Caveat here of course is that it will have to go the distance on a long distance relationship, which if it goes south a fair amount of time will be lost. Though at least you've got time on your side at the moment to play with. Sounds like you're going to have to get all in with this one for a while though and see how you both feel.

Th other one of course is that she seems heavily religious, if its a case that you can exist in relationship without feeling this too oppressive and over the top then it fine, otherwise it may take its toll after a while is my thoughts. Either way I guess you've got plenty of time to find out at least :)

I think it's fair to say it'll be a baptism of fire, for sure.

Regarding caveats/pitfalls, I think it is inevitable. Given enough time, I am sure one will almost always be able to find flaws in your close person. As the search goes on and on, it probably reaches a point where one must ask oneself:"Does she share a strong-enough connection? Am I satisfied? Why can't I settle? Is she not good enough for me?"

I think the trick is loving the person, despite his/her flaws though paradoxically, mutual love can only happen if there are shared common values.

I knew I would be facing the difficulties of a long distance relationship, long before I embarked on my long journey to find my FSU woman. And sure enough, these challenges are constantly reminded to us everytime we sleep next to an empty bed, unable to feel the presence of the significant other save for our own lucid imaginations.

I can only try to do my best and what will be, will be. If it ends up unsuccessful, I'll chalk it up to experience.
« Last Edit: May 31, 2018, 12:01:02 PM by kynrazor »
Sincerely,
Kyn

Offline kynrazor

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #93 on: May 31, 2018, 11:33:53 AM »
Hey, kynrazor

Thanks for the TR!  You strike me as a reflective type of guy, so there's a kind of kynship, so to speak  :P.  You also sound like a serious guy capable of both taking advice and being honest with yourself, which is great. Prerequsiite, even.

I do have to say that I think many people, especially in the West, try to downplay religious issues in relationships.  I think that's a mistake because there are fundamental values in question. 

It sounds like she is a much more serious believer than you, if you are at all.  This will be something you need to deal with.  How you do so is between you and your lady, just don't let it sit on a back burner until something dramatic happens.  Even Marge Simpson said "Don't make me choose between my man and my god!"


My wife and I are not religious, but certain Orthodox traditions (other than actually going to church  ;) ) are a part of her history and her culture, and now a part of our family.

Best of luck!

Hi myrddin! Thank you for your kind words :)

I've actually gotten around to reading your TR and indeed, I feel that we share many things in common, both being such expressive and reflective writers. I've found writing is one of the best ways I can share my thoughts, trials and tribulations best in its entirety. At times, it feels like therapy even XD

Also, I agree. I think that religion can be a big issue, especially if the significant other chooses for it to be so. However, she has accepted my stance as an agnostic at present and I have no qualms about carrying out or joining in certain orthodox traditions if she so chooses to do them. Though one does not know our eventual future, one is optimistically hopeful at present.

Seeing as you've been having a great time, enjoying life together with the wife, family and all, it truly gives us rookies much reason to be hopeful :) It may or may not be a success yet, depending on the yardstick but I firmly believe your story is already an achievement in its own right, that deserves to be celebrated.

This would be a very foolish thing to do.

Your priorities should be:

1) Finish PhD
2) Get beginning job as Assistant Professor (or whatever the title in different countries).
3) Research, and Publish, publish, publish to get tenured and promotion to Associate Professor.
4) Research, and Publish, publish, publish to get promotion to Full Professor.
5) This will take you 12-15 years down the road.
6) Then, if you want to forego all merit raises for the rest of your career and only receive cost of living raises (if any), you can cut back on your research and publication efforts and spend time learning a foreign language.

Even if you are not pursuing a PhD and a teaching career, the same advice holds; just change the duties and promotion path around to correspond with the job category.

The above assumes you and your gal will be living in an English speaking country.

Of course if you plan to live full time forever in another country; then yes, learn the language of that country.

Indeed, Girl3 and I do plan to live in an English-speaking country for the fore-seeable future. However unproductive it may seem, the mama still insists on her daughter finishing her university in Moscow. As such, I agree it would be seemingly useless to learn Russian for me, especially from a career perspective. It is largely on Girl3's encouragement, that I am willing to at least give it a try. I have reasons to believe this might lead to a better understanding and appreciation of her culture.

In regards to my academic career, I am sitting on the fence at the moment. Part of me wants to go into industry right after I finish my Masters but part of me likes the process of applying the scientific method and applying oneself to research as well. If I can fulfill both, that would be the dream.

She is fully awake sexually and is actually probably in the top 10-20% of women with regard to interest in sex.
Even today, many girls and women do not give themselves orgasms and many have never even had one such.
Many teenage girls simply have not felt the urge to provide themselves with an orgasm, even as they have romantic thoughts of princes on white horses, etc.

I am not quite sure regarding the concept of what providing orgasms to ones self does for women with respect to lessening the desire to have sex with someone or increasing the desire to have sex with someone.  I suspect the latter.

Well, she still possess quite conservative values, still. I hope that will suffice for her to control herself and make herself available to be loved, only by one man.

She has certainly been quite jealous and possessive when I was there with her. I remembered every single time my phone beeped up with a message, she will ask who it is from. You can just imagine her eyes wide awake when she found out one was from a former classmate who wanted to meet up.

"I do not want you to see her. Promise me you won't ever see her without me" said the lass. :rolleyes:

If an academician spends takes ANY time away from research and publication, he/she will achieve much less in terms of promotions, MONEY, and jobs at prestigious positions/universities than if they stick to the research and publications.

So yes, any of us (clever or less clever) can spend time learning something which has nothing to do with our career path . . . if we understand and are willing to accept the lower achievement of our career.

Now of course, it is certainly true that learning a foreign language (or several) can be useful to those who NEED such in their career path.

The time I wasted on the 3 foreign languages could have been used to further enhance my earnings and advancement of my actual career.

If you're talking about needs, then it is very true that it is not necessary, ML. I will agree with that. Learning Russian has NOT been and NEVER could be a professional endeavour thus far. I've been trying to learn it with however much free time I have left, though I can readily admit not much progress has been made relative to the 4 weeks since I started receiving free lessons.

This is besides the point but it used to be the case that learning German could be helpful and useful for the average research chemist, since the Germans were the only ones who kept a great catalogue/record of all the scientific chemical research that has ever been carried out before. Today, everything has been translated and is available online, and it no longer becomes a necessity.

ML you're way off. When I was in grad school, MSC (Physics) back when dinosaurs still walked the Earth we were required to have reading proficiency in at least one foreign language. Some universities required two. Don't know if this applies in the UK.

Additionally, even today many grad students will learn a foreign language on their own, some take a semester or more off and go and live in another country to do this. There are actually scholarships, grants, bursaries, etc to do this. Some grad students who have some degree of knowledge of another language will go abroad and take courses in that language to improve their knowledge of the language. Again this is American grad schools don't know if applicable to the UK.

Does knowledge of a second language have anything to do with career potential? Yes for instance learning Mandarin Chinese is popular in some grad schools simply because of the varied areas of research coming out of China and because China is the most likely country to challenge the US. If the OP is in any of the STEMs learning Russian or Chinese would certainly be desirable. 

As for taking time away from research it happens all the time as a student. I took courses in grad school out of curiosity that had nothing to do with my area of study. My undergrad is a double honors in math and physics, a popular combination at the time for entry into grad school. By the time I graduated I had at 8 courses more than needed to graduated. They were taken out of curiosity and personal interest.

Today this is encouraged because many grad students burn out because of the mantra of "Publish or Perish". The push to publish as many articles as possible is real and is not sustainable over many years. Grad students are encouraged to have interests other than research and publishing papers.

Hmm, much food for thought. Wow, you certainly seemed to have had lots of interests Dave. :D I think it isn't directly evident though, that learning Russian would contribute to and help with scientific research for sure, unlike German, Japanese, Chinese or French etc. Quite unfortunate

Kyn what is your subject btw?

I research into Bio-Inorganic Chemistry. Specifically looking into (investigating) the mechanistic pathways of the molecules of interest in different strains of a particular enzyme to figure out how it all works. Isolating chemical intermediates helps in this process.

For most courses the idea will be that the person specializes in what ever they qualify in this country, to concentrate on their subject. I think the branching out into other disciplines/areas during studies is more an American thing, major/minor, choose after first year, have electives, etc, etc. We tend to have a much more rigid system here, at best you will be able to elect from a choice of modules a module from a similar field but these are mostly listed which ones you can do, if its not on the list then its a no-go.

Most jobs though in the UK just ask for the specialism.

I think Kyn could learn a few words of Russian and see if he can pick it up along the way as something to do in the odd few moments here and there rather than spend good quality time on it. I use 'Before You Know It' - a free internet program that also has a handy app so you can learn it with earphones in on mobile phone. Good enough for a few basic words, though I don't think learning the whole language is likely from it. I've always been wanting to get to proper in class language learning classes but the nearest ones are miles away from me and never on the times/days that fit in with my schedule, a real pain.

Whilst I would agree with you that we do tend to specialise quite early on at the undergrad level (in a UK vs US comparison), you would find most cutting-edge research increasingly multi-disciplinary and the lines between various scientific disciplines getting increasingly blurry even.

For the time being, I'm just taking things slower at a more comfy pace, learning Russian from my girl. I do not have any expectations. It is not my priority at the moment though I am sure Girl3 will want to see some hint of progress at least.
Sincerely,
Kyn

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #94 on: May 31, 2018, 11:59:19 AM »
I think I stated already that I believe that the aptitude for foreign languages, almost regardless of age while of course easier when young, depends on personal brain structure - like the aptitude in other areas like mathematics, arts, athletics, etc. etc.

I speak 4 languages rather well and can manage to form some sentences in other half a dozen 'weird' others, from Greek to Arabic to Japanese, studied in my advanced 60s. The first thing I acquire speedily is their sounds, probably due to a certain musical ear of mine - again another brain ability.

Becoming fluent is another matter, it requires regular exposure and practice.

You're a legend Sandros. My respect! :clapping:

Like music, practice makes perfect. And in actuality, like learning the piano makes it easier for you to pick up the saxophone, I find that learning a language seems to get a little easier the more languages you know.

I have oftentimes pondered over the connection between language and music. For instance, is music a subset of language or is it the other way around? :D

Native Tolstoy probably not! but conversationally fluent perhaps.  Even if you heard the language 24/7 a few months is too short a time to be fluent.  That has been proven by polyglots.

Europeans like the Swiss, Dutch and Scandinavians seem to pick up English very well as a 2nd or 3rd language.  Russians not so much.

I think it's generally true for most folks. Don't think I have seen anyone who can go from zero to fluent within a couple of months anyway.
Sincerely,
Kyn

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #95 on: May 31, 2018, 12:22:41 PM »
Yes indeed. It'll be a baptism of fire. I've had this thought in my mind that, if our relationship actually survive such challenging times so far away from each other, we'll be able to overcome anything.

She has never really asked me for anything :'( other than more time to be spent with me old self. And more time, is what I struggle to find for now, at least till I graduate in the next year for sure.



Helping her out with a little allowance will show you're investing in her and you're willing to take care of her. During the courtship phase, you have to prove you're marriage/husband material. Girl3 thinks the world of you now but if you don't act like the man she envisions you to be, she will have doubts and your relationship will deteriorate.


I agree it would be seemingly useless to learn Russian for me, especially from a career perspective. It is largely on Girl3's encouragement, that I am willing to at least give it a try. I have reasons to believe this might lead to a better understanding and appreciation of her culture.



Girl3 is young and her advice may not be wise. You have only some much capability to learn. Near 100% of your ability to learn should be focused at the university. Get solid grades and get a great job. The learning of a new language can come later after you obtain financial security which will allows you to build a life together with Girl3.
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #96 on: June 03, 2018, 01:29:06 PM »
Haha, fingers crossed mate. I hope I'll be able to keep up with her needs in the near future :D
Note to the less experienced:

No man can ever keep up with females who are highly interested in frequent sex and repeated sex during the same sessions.
That is . . . if keeping up means erections and orgasms.

Women, unlike men, do not undergo a 'refractory period' and thus can experience an unlimited number of orgasms with no loss of sexual arousal.

But if you are willing . . . and the woman is satisfied with . . . then you can use other of your body parts to give her the virtually unlimited number of orgasms she is capable of.

The vast majority of men are not willing to do this . . . after (and even before) they have had their one and only.
And many women will first state that they don't wish to partake if the man can not 'finish' again also . . . but once they give it a try . . . they will never decline again.
I still like Ike.

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #97 on: June 19, 2018, 09:31:38 AM »
Note to the less experienced:

No man can ever keep up with females who are highly interested in frequent sex and repeated sex during the same sessions.
That is . . . if keeping up means erections and orgasms.

Women, unlike men, do not undergo a 'refractory period' and thus can experience an unlimited number of orgasms with no loss of sexual arousal.

But if you are willing . . . and the woman is satisfied with . . . then you can use other of your body parts to give her the virtually unlimited number of orgasms she is capable of.

The vast majority of men are not willing to do this . . . after (and even before) they have had their one and only.
And many women will first state that they don't wish to partake if the man can not 'finish' again also . . . but once they give it a try . . . they will never decline again.

 :shock:
I readily admit I'm not very experienced in this department ML. Then again, she has told me her past ex-boyfriend could never satisfy her emotional needs, though physical-wise (kissing, etc) it was fine.

I will see how far this relationship can go. I'm feeling lucky.  :thumbsup:
Sincerely,
Kyn

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #98 on: June 19, 2018, 09:35:44 AM »
Helping her out with a little allowance will show you're investing in her and you're willing to take care of her. During the courtship phase, you have to prove you're marriage/husband material. Girl3 thinks the world of you now but if you don't act like the man she envisions you to be, she will have doubts and your relationship will deteriorate.

Sometimes, I've asked whether she needed anything, but all she would usually say is her parents can support her and it was all good, though she has given me her body measurements on the off chance that I might buy lingerie for her to dress in order to "satisfy" her man. :-[ What a lass :popcorn:

Girl3 is young and her advice may not be wise. You have only some much capability to learn. Near 100% of your ability to learn should be focused at the university. Get solid grades and get a great job. The learning of a new language can come later after you obtain financial security which will allows you to build a life together with Girl3.

Very true. It is what I thought too. Hence my less than satisfactory progress in my efforts to learn Russian in the girl's opinion.  :rolleyes: I think I'm doing alright though.
« Last Edit: June 19, 2018, 09:38:09 AM by kynrazor »
Sincerely,
Kyn

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Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
« Reply #99 on: June 19, 2018, 09:47:56 AM »
Sometimes, I've asked whether she needed anything, but all she would usually say is her parents can support her and it was all good,


That's what a good girl says. They won't ask for money but they do expect their man to be responsible enough to take care of the family. In your case it's a potential future family. If you can send her $50 or $100 a month, do it. Tell her its waiting for her at Western Union. It's enough to let her know you want to take care of her but not too much as if you're trying to buy her love. But make sure you are able to save up for another trip.
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

 

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