Going solo?

[Nikolos]

I have a 10 day trip planned to Saint Petersburg the 3rd week in October, I posted in this section about my unsuccessful trip the last time where I corresponded with a lady for 7 months, I learned from that and now I'm making a second attempt.. I tried the online thing for months on 2 different sites and just couldn't connect with anyone very well, I have a few phone numbers of ladies but nothing serious and no commitments made, so I'm basically going solo, I booked a nice hotel just off Nevsky Prospect, I was thinking of getting together with the ladies I corresponded with and if they don't work out, I have quite a lot of time to roam the city and hopefully meet someone. I didn't know before booking the hotel, but theirs a huge shopping mall just across the street .... For reference, I'm 56, 5-8, 140, physically fit and above average in looks, other than the language barrier I shouldn't have a problem... I'm interested in a lady in her late 30's or early 40's, attractive to me is all I want, not looking for a super model.

I don't know if what I'm doing is the right approach, or perhaps it is and I need to improve on it..... I would appreciate your thoughts.  Thanks!

[Patagonie]

I have a 10 day trip planned to Saint Petersburg the 3rd week in October, I posted in this section about my unsuccessful trip the last time where I corresponded with a lady for 7 months, I learned from that and now I'm making a second attempt.. I tried the online thing for months on 2 different sites and just couldn't connect with anyone very well, I have a few phone numbers of ladies but nothing serious and no commitments made, so I'm basically going solo, I booked a nice hotel just off Nevsky Prospect, I was thinking of getting together with the ladies I corresponded with and if they don't work out, I have quite a lot of time to roam the city and hopefully meet someone. I didn't know before booking the hotel, but theirs a huge shopping mall just across the street .... For reference, I'm 56, 5-8, 140, physically fit and above average in looks, other than the language barrier I shouldn't have a problem... I'm interested in a lady in her late 30's or early 40's, attractive to me is all I want, not looking for a super model.

I don't know if what I'm doing is the right approach, or perhaps it is and I need to improve on it..... I would appreciate your thoughts.  Thanks!

Why do you want to connect and click on internet?
The real life happens when you are with the ladies.
Get more contacts, try to sort them, call them on phone or by skype, but not too much,
and when you will be in the city try to see as many ladies as possible. Invite them for a drink and lets see what the chemistry is saying.

[Nikolos]

Why do you want to connect and click on internet?

Looking back I realize what a mistake it was, I think I wanted to establish some kind of relationship and have more background as compared to approaching multiple women in public..  The online thing has really proven a waste of time, there are too many insincere women and the ones who are sincere, play the field just like we do.
 

The real life happens when you are with the ladies.
Get more contacts, try to sort them, call them on phone or by skype, but not too much,
and when you will be in the city try to see as many ladies as possible. Invite them for a drink and lets see what the chemistry is saying.

Agree, this is exactly what I'm planning on doing..  When I was in Saint Peter I wanted to approach some ladies but I was in the company of another woman, couldn't do it then, now I'll have my chance Thanks for the advice.
 

[ML]

Sorry, but with this plan of yours, you are going to have another wasted trip . . . with respect to women at least.

[Boethius]

The ones who are sincere, play the field just like we do.

Why is this a problem? 

[ML]

Because only men are supposed to 'play the field.'

It is written somewhere.

[Trenchcoat]

I have a 10 day trip planned to Saint Petersburg the 3rd week in October, I posted in this section about my unsuccessful trip the last time where I corresponded with a lady for 7 months, I learned from that and now I'm making a second attempt.. I tried the online thing for months on 2 different sites and just couldn't connect with anyone very well, I have a few phone numbers of ladies but nothing serious and no commitments made, so I'm basically going solo, I booked a nice hotel just off Nevsky Prospect, I was thinking of getting together with the ladies I corresponded with and if they don't work out, I have quite a lot of time to roam the city and hopefully meet someone. I didn't know before booking the hotel, but theirs a huge shopping mall just across the street .... For reference, I'm 56, 5-8, 140, physically fit and above average in looks, other than the language barrier I shouldn't have a problem... I'm interested in a lady in her late 30's or early 40's, attractive to me is all I want, not looking for a super model.

I don't know if what I'm doing is the right approach, or perhaps it is and I need to improve on it..... I would appreciate your thoughts.  Thanks!

I think you have made this decision to do this trip more out of frustration then anything. I can well understand this as many of these foreign online dating websites are a hard task turning up anything fruitful even if response rate is better than native online dating such as Match. I was getting frustrated with foreign online dating sites when I went on my 2nd trip to the Ukraine. The Ukraine is cheaper & quicker to get to than the US so not so bad.

Best thing you are likely to gain on this trip of yours to St. Petersburg is experience in terms of the cultural difference which takes a few days to get used to. That and hopefully like I gained on my second trip a better insight into how to go about the dating scene in FSU. Odds are you will not be successful - you will not know if the women you are hitting on are married, available, open to dating a foreigner or even speak English until you are talking to them. That said you will know if there is chemistry or just a friendly person you are talking to. The danger is that you end up getting with a friendly girl where there is no chemistry but you're want for a relationship makes you believe there is something there. Shopping Malls can be decent places to meet girls, but there are no guarantees. Odds are you will end up meeting no-one unless you are real good at talking to women on the fly.

So the approach is generally regarded as the wrong approach (mine was), but you never know, people have gone in with the wrong approach before and come up shining. The problem is after any sight seeing you then have to either meet girls through pick up or call them up from the dating sites. 10 days is probably enough for them to find a spot to see you in their schedule and send correspondence back & forth, but it doesn't give you a leisurely time to really work the field which I think is really what is required these days.

Anything two weeks or less is a flying visit in & out and doesn't give you a lot of time to accomplish anything, you have to be realistic with what a short visit is likely to garner which is often not very much. Put it this way, the longer you have around there the more likely you are to bump into someone where there is chemistry and to really get to know them. Women I think are going to be better pre-disposed to talking to a guy that is going to be around a while than gone next week.

I think odds are the tracks are already lain in your situation so do the trip, get acclimatized and learn what you can, take it easy and treat it as a leisure trip. Call up girls from the dating websites while you are out there and who knows. Perhaps someone here might know of a good trustworthy marriage agency you might visit in St. Pete's?   

[Nikolos]

I think you have made this decision to do this trip more out of frustration then anything. I can well understand this as many of these foreign online dating websites are a hard task turning up anything fruitful even if response rate is better than native online dating such as Match. I was getting frustrated with foreign online dating sites when I went on my 2nd trip to the Ukraine. The Ukraine is cheaper & quicker to get to than the US so not so bad.

Best thing you are likely to gain on this trip of yours to St. Petersburg is experience in terms of the cultural difference which takes a few days to get used to. That and hopefully like I gained on my second trip a better insight into how to go about the dating scene in FSU. Odds are you will not be successful - you will not know if the women you are hitting on are married, available, open to dating a foreigner or even speak English until you are talking to them. That said you will know if there is chemistry or just a friendly person you are talking to. The danger is that you end up getting with a friendly girl where there is no chemistry but you're want for a relationship makes you believe there is something there. Shopping Malls can be decent places to meet girls, but there are no guarantees. Odds are you will end up meeting no-one unless you are real good at talking to women on the fly.

So the approach is generally regarded as the wrong approach (mine was), but you never know, people have gone in with the wrong approach before and come up shining. The problem is after any sight seeing you then have to either meet girls through pick up or call them up from the dating sites. 10 days is probably enough for them to find a spot to see you in their schedule and send correspondence back & forth, but it doesn't give you a leisurely time to really work the field which I think is really what is required these days.

Anything two weeks or less is a flying visit in & out and doesn't give you a lot of time to accomplish anything, you have to be realistic with what a short visit is likely to garner which is often not very much. Put it this way, the longer you have around there the more likely you are to bump into someone where there is chemistry and to really get to know them. Women I think are going to be better pre-disposed to talking to a guy that is going to be around a while than gone next week.

I think odds are the tracks are already lain in your situation so do the trip, get acclimatized and learn what you can, take it easy and treat it as a leisure trip. Call up girls from the dating websites while you are out there and who knows. Perhaps someone here might know of a good trustworthy marriage agency you might visit in St. Pete's?   

I appreciate all the advice Trenchcoat, great advice I might add...

 I do agree that part of my decision was indeed out of frustration over online dating sites, but it was also made because of first visit to the FSU,  I made a lot of plans with a Woman and the relationship went nowhere, but I wasn't going to leave her, I liked her and I couldn't do that.. This time around I have the freedom to see whoever I want and go where I want.. It will be a very casual trip as you say, a trip of leisure with no high expectations or mandate.

I also agree it not a lot of time, but if I can meet one, two or 3 ladies on this trip, I can build on one of those relationships from abroad and return another time, I have the ability to do that... And who knows, I may even get lucky and sit next to someone on the plane, where we hit it off,  traveling and getting out definitely increases the odds.

I'm optimistic about most things, but I'm also realistic, If this turns out to be a flop, I'll plan for 3 weeks in the Ukraine next July

I'll be leaving this coming Thursday from LAX, when I return I'll post my experience   Thanks again!



   

[LAman]

I appreciate all the advice Trenchcoat, great advice I might add...

 I do agree that part of my decision was indeed out of frustration over online dating sites, but it was also made because of first visit to the FSU,  I made a lot of plans with a Woman and the relationship went nowhere, but I wasn't going to leave her, I liked her and I couldn't do that.. This time around I have the freedom to see whoever I want and go where I want.. It will be a very casual trip as you say, a trip of leisure with no high expectations or mandate.

I also agree it not a lot of time, but if I can meet one, two or 3 ladies on this trip, I can build on one of those relationships from abroad and return another time, I have the ability to do that... And who knows, I may even get lucky and sit next to someone on the plane, where we hit it off,  traveling and getting out definitely increases the odds.

I'm optimistic about most things, but I'm also realistic, If this turns out to be a flop, I'll plan for 3 weeks in the Ukraine next July

I'll be leaving this coming Thursday from LAX, when I return I'll post my experience   Thanks again!



   

You do know it will rain most days on your trip??

I am not sure what you have in mind meeting ladies 'on the street', the language barrier is a big obstacle. BTW, who doesn't find approachable ladies while in the company of another lady???? By definition, I think that happens to everyone!!! If you are alone.......the approachable women are never around!!

Hope you join a trip advisor forum for Russia, you can find much information on what you can see/do in St Pete's.
If you were in Moscow, I think you would find plenty of things to do!!!

[Trenchcoat]

I appreciate all the advice Trenchcoat, great advice I might add...

 I do agree that part of my decision was indeed out of frustration over online dating sites, but it was also made because of first visit to the FSU,  I made a lot of plans with a Woman and the relationship went nowhere, but I wasn't going to leave her, I liked her and I couldn't do that.. This time around I have the freedom to see whoever I want and go where I want.. It will be a very casual trip as you say, a trip of leisure with no high expectations or mandate.

I also agree it not a lot of time, but if I can meet one, two or 3 ladies on this trip, I can build on one of those relationships from abroad and return another time, I have the ability to do that... And who knows, I may even get lucky and sit next to someone on the plane, where we hit it off,  traveling and getting out definitely increases the odds.

I'm optimistic about most things, but I'm also realistic, If this turns out to be a flop, I'll plan for 3 weeks in the Ukraine next July

I'll be leaving this coming Thursday from LAX, when I return I'll post my experience   Thanks again!

I agree with LA Man in that when your looking it tends to happen that you don't come across anyone, its weird. When you're busy with something or with someone is when they pop up, lol.

On planes I find I'm rarely with someone either in the right gender, age range, single status or interested. It can be a boring journey if going by yourself on long flights, short flights are ok, particularly if hot stewardesses to oggle and not those past their sell buy date. Could try getting a seat right near the stewardess area just in case

Enjoy the trip as much as you can but the strategy probably isn't right in terms of bearing much fruit, but you never know. Three weeks is probably better but I think at least four is preferable, gives plenty of time to stray across the right girl by whatever means during the stay, agency, pick up, connections, etc. Removes that intensity of 'having to find a girl within a certain period as I'm going back shortly' sort of mentality. I would go back in a jiffy if I could and spend a prolonged period out there, but need to get the money to fund it from somewhere, lol. Next year (in a few months) I should be far better placed both with more time to hand and better prepared as I'm serious about finding a girl out there - they are lovely, particularly the English speaking ones, they are like women should be - interested in men, pleasing men, being reasonably happy with life and feminine. Here in the UK that would be a hard find, there are still some good girls going but they are often in heavy demand and a real hard task to get.

Anyway, good luck with your trip, its exciting to get away, would be good to hear how you get on.

   

[tfcrew]

...... the ones who are sincere, play the field just like we do.
 

 

That doesn't make any sense.

[Nikolos]

That doesn't make any sense.

If you misinterpret what "playing the field" means, I can see where it wouldn't make sense.

[Nikolos]

You do know it will rain most days on your trip??

Yes,  And I think the High and Low will be 40/35,  I was actually thinking how great it would be to travel in December, to get the real Russian feel of it... One Russian Woman I met made a good point, When it's hot or warm outside, theirs nothing you can to do to cool down, but when it's cold, you can get warm by dressing warm.

I am not sure what you have in mind meeting ladies 'on the street', the language barrier is a big obstacle.

I know some basic Russian, Vy govorite po-angliyski?  If they answer "net", it''s onto the next

Hope you join a trip advisor forum for Russia, you can find much information on what you can see/do in St Pete's.

I've been to Moscow and Saint Petersburg once this year, this is my 2nd visit... I actually found a lot more things to do is Saint Petersburg, many more places to visit. And unlike Moscow, the city is more English friendly, the station names in the Metro are spelled out in both Cyrillic and English, and a lot more Restaurants have English Menus and English speaking Waitresses I met one on my last trip and I plan to re-visit there, I would have spoke to her more but I was in the presence of another Woman at the time.

I have several phone numbers of Women I briefly corresponded with, I don't plan on being alone very much, but in the event that I am, I'll try my luck as the lost foreigner who needs directions

[BorisS]

Some of my bests trips with serious women were when the temperature started to fall. I went one year over New Years and it was a blast. Visiting peoples houses. Listening to the President of Russia and the President of Ukraine give speeches. Shooting off fireworks in the snow.


I would avoid winter trips if you are just trying to casually meet women.

[BillyB]

Some of my bests trips with serious women were when the temperature started to fall.

With warm weather, there's more activities one can do outside. In cold weather, if I see the lady a little cold or she makes comment she's cold, I'll bring her in close and tell her I'll warm her up.

[ML]

With warm weather, there's more activities one can do outside. In cold weather, if I see the lady a little cold or she makes comment she's cold, I'll bring her in close and tell her I'll warm her up.

Wow, I bet the women have never heard that line before !!

Reminds me of my days in US Navy as a very young man (actually only 17 years old).

When I was in Japan, my main bar gal asked me what my 'line of sheeeeet' was.

I was totally new at this, so I told her the truth . . . that I had no line of sheeeeet.   

Thereafter it became quite funny in that she and the other gals referred to me as the guy whose LOS was that I had no LOS.

A lot of good memories.  I remember many times where . . . whhhoooppps can't tell that.


And oh those deep tissue and vigorous massages where they beat the sheeeeet out of you.

[BillyB]

One can call it a line but if the girl likes you, she won't resist.

[ML]

One can call it a line but if the girl likes you, she won't resist.

Or she might say:  "If you were a real man; you would buy me a fur coat."

[CaptB]

My first trip was just to visit Russia.....not look for a RW. But circumstances dictated that looking for an RW.....did become part of the first visit.  My thread "13 years.......and a small story" explains in detail why. Although I went the agency for my first two trips......I did the wovo for subsequent trips. I found my wife by wovo. In retrospect.....after 8 trips to Russia.....I would have to say the agency route "could" be the best method. I think many guys (myself included) who don't have a lot of disposable cash......try do do it all themselves.....to "save money". If you pick any long thread on this forum....and scroll-down on the left-hand side.....you will find many folks with 10 or more trips under their belt. An agency may initially cost more.....than a do-it-yourself trip.....but will be more efficient in providing meetings with FSU/W that meet "your" criteria for a partner.
You can meet in one trip (agency) a larger number of FSU/W........than in 6, 8, 10 or more do-it-yourself visits. There is a problem with my hypothesis though.......finding a good, honest agency. It was a problem in 2000.....when I made my first visit.....it is a more acute problem today. I used Lifetime Partners (American owned) with an office in California.....and in Tver, Russia. This is the only agency (of the 3 I mention)....that still exists. They have made many, many successful matches. Another great agency was MAKSIM in Yoshkar-Ola, Russia (not very far from Kazan....one of Russia's oldest cities). "Max" was the owner. Wheelchair-bound.....but unlimited energy....he just passed away a few years ago....and the agency disappeared shortly after his dearth. A great guy who really cared about the "people"...men and women clients. Many, many successful matches. Commodore Steve's agency was the other "great agency". I do not remember the name of his agency.....because we always called it "Commodore Steve".....his own self-title. Steve was an American expat. He had offices in a half dozen or so Russian cities (Stavropol, Saratov, Samara, Moscow and a couple more). His website was so entertaining....that my friend Chuck and I "tuned in" every Friday night....as if it were a TV program. I actually met Steve in 2003.....when he was winding-down his business to fully retire. He was helping a young 21 y.o. Russian man.....to find a RW. He and his Mother were visiting Stavropol.....from Arizona. His Mother had live in Arizona and Alaska for over 22 years....and was originally from Stavropol. "SHE"!!!!....had decided that her son would find a nice "Russian girl" for a wife :-)


I wrote 16 introductory letters about 5-6 weeks before I departed for Tver. I was not really looking for a wife.....but maybe a few dates....so I would not be a third-wheel...when going out with Chuck and his girlfriend. My letters were brief (two short paragraphs). Half about myself....and the other half questions directed at her.....abour her life.....or anything she would like to tell about herself. I received 14 replies.....and met all of them. If I hadn't been so overwhelmed in meeting I.....I should have followed the agencie's advice (a very common problem with clients) and had several dates with each before focussing in on one. Although I have a very wonderful wife now.....I can see that sticking to your guns.....and meeting many multiple times before choosing.....one. This way the RW get to meet many also.


Meeting a few on a trip.....by chance.....seems like a long shot (the majority of the time). Some are married, some have a boyfriend, some are happy right where they are. Socials are not much better. You have too many coming for the "party", some off the street are invited by the agency so they can advertise a 10 to 1 ratio (RW to WM). After you remove the "invited off the street" RW, those from a too big...or too small city, too old, too young etc etc etc......it does not leave many left. With an agency....you spend a little more (initially).....but you get to choose "many" who meet your criteria.....and who are chosen by the agency because they have expressed the desire to "possibly" relocate to another country....with the right man. They.....as are you.....focussed on the possibility.......of a foreign life partner.


Theoretically.......an agency could be the cheapest (in the long run), and most "focussed" option out there.....in find an FSU/W. But here is "the rub".......finding "good" agency.
Out of the three I mentioned......only one (LifeTime Partners in Tver, Russia)......still exist. Maybe others here can relate other good agencies they have used.


Capt B

[rwdartie]

My two cents. My opinion and not necessarily for Nikolos but for all who decide to take that first step on that journey.

The forum is not always helpful. It can be but usually not, especially if you're time-restraint. Not everyone has the time to scour the forum for good information. Ideally, you want responses with solid, current information based on recent experiences. It's mostly miss and sometimes hit. I know I'm not revealing anything new. "Intelligence" from the field, based on trips not more than 1 year old, or detailed information focused on your specific situation will likely lead to better results. This isn't meant to disparage the forum because its overall value is useful and solid. It's simply a critique. Furthermore, opinions on how you "approach" an FSU woman can be helpful but usually not. My experience with women from multiple countries are the extraordinary similarities they have not the differences. Their needs and their attractions are similar throughout the world but culturally different. With previous Ru gfs, I was amazed how similar they were with past gfs from other countries, including American women. I simply wouldn't focus too much on the "approach". Although important, it is less so as you grow with age. It becomes more of a numbers game. Besides, it's likely your personal "approach" is so ingrained that the best advice would be wasted due to so many factors.

Ok, now for some field intelligence:
I was in Spb in mid-September for 8 days. It was my first time. I spent most of my time with single women who I established online relationships with prior to visiting.  However, I also made efforts to meet women when I was by myself. During these occasions, I mostly walked through many of the city's beautiful parks, visited churches, the museum and hung out at restaurant-bars and cafes. I later realized the theater would be a great place to meet local women. There were teams of women everywhere at the theater (including restaurants and cafes). I would make sure to attend a show that attracts the locals and not the tourist (i.e. Tchaikovsky Sleeping Beauty). I went to sleeping beauty and it felt more like Disneyland due to so many tourists. I then went to another musical but it was the exact opposite experience, entirely made of locals, and single women everywhere, young and old. As for the cafes/restaurant-bars, I had friendly conversations with single women who were sipping their coffee or I would have conversations with the staff (who were women). When I could, I tried to be a regular with the intent of building a friendly connection, usually with the same people. It helped when I provided a generous (but not outrageous) tip. When I was on my own, my goal would be to have fun seeing the sights and build friendships when I could. If the person showed interest (and many did), I would then engage more.


1. I liked Gorokhovaya street, a bit more bohemian and far less touristy than say Nevsky.  I enjoyed eating/drinking at Jagerhaus, chatting with the bartender and manager. They're friendly and interested in what you had to say. The girls who work there are cute but the crowd tends to be couples or mixed parties larger than 3. Mickey's and Monkeys cafe had many more single, attractive women, young and old.

2. Nevsky Prospect requires more time (and money) to find your place due to so many establishments. I would recommend a few places but totally forgot their names. I was on this street with my dates and had fun at many places here. I do know if you were going solo, this is one street with plenty of foot traffic to meet single ladies not to mention practice how you would approach them. 

3. I tried looking for a gym or yoga studio but simply didn't have the time. I did go to the gym next to where i stayed but not worth mentioning.

4. I would call all the agencies in town, including speed dating ones and/or look for them on fb, vk and Yandex. I would also ask the locals for help. I would use the dating apps in Spb. I would guess the response rate will be higher once they know you're in town and that you invite them for coffee and cake or drinks or dinner, depending on what you feel like and the vibe you feel. Maybe contacting the ex-pat communities could help but haven't done that.

5. I would try to have a mindset based on Fun and Friendship and NOT on Scoring a home run. Seek friendships, not a wife. Friends also help friends and can introduce you to available single ladies. Incidentally, it's also my experience to NOT focus exclusively on Ru and/or the Ukr.  Europe (east and west) in general, is a great place to meet beautiful, friendly woman no matter what age you are. Keep in mind it has roughly a population of under 400M women in all 50 countries, including RU and the UKR. So, don't get hung up on trying to "connect" with someone. If it ain't there, move on. 

6. I also explored Spb using my personal and professional interest to meet people. This gave me authenticity and purpose. I visited several craft pubs and had good conversations with people who had a shared interest. 


Best Wishes to you and all who seek


 

[ML]

rwdartie, thanks for your nice write-up.

However, I

eally cringe when I read of this approach to meeting gals.

I can only envision almost a total waste of time.

Sure you can strike up a conversation with a nice gal in FSU somewhat easier than you can in USA.  The 8-10 gals there will talk with you whereas in USA they would turn away, or worse, summon a policeman.

But what will these interesting conversations lead to?
Most likely, very little.
Or, you can spend time talking, and maybe even arrange for a second 'meeting' and she may even agree to show you around, etc.

But after spending a day or two with her, she is likely to tell you . . .

"Oh, by the way, I am engaged to local guy.  He is away on business trip now.  I hope you didn't think I was interested in you romantically.  Just thought it would be interesting to talk to someone from another country, practice my  English, etc."

This and other such wasted time can be mostly  avoided by extensive vetting before you arrive in the particular city.

Cast a very wide net numbers wise, filter initial contacts down over several messages/conversations, have a lot of meetings arranged with many gals before you even get on the airplane.

[Yes]

rwdartie, thanks for your nice write-up.

However, I

eally cringe when I read of this approach to meeting gals.

I can only envision almost a total waste of time.

Sure you can strike up a conversation with a nice gal in FSU somewhat easier than you can in USA.  The 8-10 gals there will talk with you whereas in USA they would turn away, or worse, summon a policeman.

But what will these interesting conversations lead to?
Most likely, very little.
Or, you can spend time talking, and maybe even arrange for a second 'meeting' and she may even agree to show you around, etc.

But after spending a day or two with her, she is likely to tell you . . .

"Oh, by the way, I am engaged to local guy.  He is away on business trip now.  I hope you didn't think I was interested in you romantically.  Just thought it would be interesting to talk to someone from another country, practice my  English, etc."

This and other such wasted time can be mostly  avoided by extensive vetting before you arrive in the particular city.

Cast a very wide net numbers wise, filter initial contacts down over several messages/conversations, have a lot of meetings arranged with many gals before you even get on the airplane.

Or not.

You never know unless you try. Sure, the girl might be enaged to a local guy, but most girls will tell you very quickly that they are taken in some way, i.e. they have a boyfriend or are married, even though they're friendly to you.

There are many more girls who are not taken and would find meeting a foreigner interesting, especially as a friend. I have met Russian girls over the years just by saying hi whom are still friends and could have been more had I chose to go down that road.

Sorry, but I really cringe when I read this kind of advice.

[Boethius]

Or not.

You never know unless you try. Sure, the girl might be enaged to a local guy, but most girls will tell you very quickly that they are taken in some way, i.e. they have a boyfriend or are married, even though they're friendly to you.

There are many more girls who are not taken and would find meeting a foreigner interesting, especially as a friend. I have met Russian girls over the years just by saying hi whom are still friends and could have been more had I chose to go down that road.

Sorry, but I really cringe when I read this kind of advice.

You're living there, no?  If so, that is a very different dynamic from someone who will only be on ground a couple of weeks.
 

[Yes]

Yes, but it hasn't always been the case until recently.

I had been visiting Russia since the late 90's. At that time I used agency sites to meet/introduce myself to women before I arrived. However, I did so to make sure I wasn't alone during my initial visits. with most visits less than a month.

I quickly came to realize that I could easily meet other women more naturally simply by talking to them in normal social settings, e.g., internet cafes, bars, restaurants, clubs, and the few cafes that existed back then while I was out and about during my free time in whatever city I happened to be visiting. And they (FSUW) were in most cases a much better quality of woman than I had met through any agency.

After my first few visits I stopped using agencies complately and would mostly come and wing it with good success. Meeting women in the FSU has always been as easy as saying hi.

Agencies are all but dead now and I wouldn't trust one still operating these days. The average guy is better off arranging meetings through social networks, internet apps like Tinder or sites like Mambu and Badoo, etc., or by other means such as a firend of a firend type of introduction. This is not so easy IMO, even for someone who lives here.

So yes, of course it's different if you live here, but I'm looking at it from the angle of a visitor. A guy searching will be lucky to get a girl or three to agree to meet beforehand "these days” and actually show up. It would be a disservice for a guy not to explore his options while his feet are on the ground.

The level of English is much better now than 10 years ago, much better,, especially in cities like Kiev, Kharkov, St. Petersburg, Kazan and Moscow to name a few, so the ability to strike up a conversation in English is much more prevalent (I meet women this way currently). There are still many eligible women in the FSU, and agencies are not a good option, and meeting a lot of girls beforehand that will actually meet you is not as easy as it once was 5-10 years ago IMO.

Girls are also a lot more guarded these days in these parts and have become much more savvy about foreigners and the West. Even if they say they will meet you, many will flake for whatever reason. Things in the FSU have changed considerably over the years and what was viable back then isn't viable now, or certainly not the best way to approach this endeavor.

My main point though is that there is no one size fits all and a well-prepared traveller needs to use all his resources these days to get a FSUW to fall for him. Vetting, as one poster put it, doesn't guarantee a thing these days and IMO is a bigger waste of time.

There are still plenty of women here who will consider a relationship with a foreigner; as many as ever. In my experience as a tourist, the best quality women were met on the spur of the moment in normal settings by me taking advantage of what was in front of me at the time and using my charm, humor and wit .

I also don't agree that bars are a bad place to meet a woman as some have suggested. I would rather take my chances with a girl I meet at a bar than through an agency.

My American friend, well acquaintance really, met a girl in Russia in a bar and they have been together for 7 years and have recently married.

He was in Russia on business, they had never had contact before, and it was simply a chance meeting. I have another friend here who met an Australian man by chance while he was in town visiting and she just moved to Australia to be with him; they married a year ago and no prior "vetting' happened.

It's 2016, not 2005 and much has changed.

[Trenchcoat]

I think the FSU dating scene probably does change over time, back when I last looked 7-8 years ago FSU countries were seemingly getting more wealthier to the point where a rich westerner didn't have as much financial pull as he used to. Then the financial crash in the west happened & many us westerners looked to our own financial circumstances rather risk wasting money on meeting a woman abroad. Then Russia/Ukraine's economy went south as ours picked up re-establishing the old financial pull of the western man. Skype was just coming in back then also as a way of vetting a woman, now it is widely used but perhaps not seen as the be all and end all it once was.

Vetting I think was a big thing years back and doing your due diligence is still important, but I think with wide spread knowledge of scams and how the process works these days its much quicker and perhaps more obvious if someone there for reasons that are purely money driven.

'Yes' is somewhat right beyond knowing that a girl is probably decent enough to meet & not a habitual out & out lier, vetting will only tell you this and not whether there is any go in a relationship romantically. Seeing if there is genuine chemistry (not faked) is probably the best vetting there is in any case. If a girl is falling for you she is unlikely to want to do you over is my thoughts anyway.

I think good preparation before a visit is key along with a decent length of stay. This is what I am doing at the moment, preparing well so I'm not taking pot shots at a woman or few women each journey.