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Author Topic: Hi there!  (Read 7155 times)

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Offline iceshaft07

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Hi there!
« on: September 13, 2014, 10:13:21 AM »
Hey everyone! I'm new to this website. I recently joined a few Russian dating sites, and I've been doing a lot of research on the subject matter.

I have a long history with dating websites. This message will be long, but it's a good and informative read.

I have reverse engineered a number of dating websites, and plugged it into an artificial intelligence (ChatScript) to automatically message people with profile-specific comments on my behalf. That means, the messages I send look like I read your profile and I'm asking questions. If my A.I. sees you like country music, it asks about it.

I've been on E-Harmony, OkCupid, PlentyOfFish, Match.com. Pretty much, anything that exists I've been on it. Romaniakiss.com, sentimente.com...

I used to do the process manually... But I found it was a waste of time, given the small success rate, and being a software engineer, I decided to automate it.

But now I'm faced with a new issue.

Because of my lack of success at dating in the United States, Canada, and Romania, I have decided to move my search to Ukraine / Russia.

At first, I was excited that people on anastasiadate.com and loveme.com were actually talking back to me-- something Americans tend not to do (or they are severely obese, and I'm not interested... one or the other). Yet, I realized what it was, and I am further along in my researches with Ukrainian and Russian women. Namely, I am moving over to free sites.

However, I'm faced with a new issue. I don't think I have it in me to message women on these other websites. I'm concerned that joining these numerous other dating websites is going to lead me to the same experiences I've had on the American dating websites. I'm concerned that this is going to be another way to waste my time, and not get any success.

And, worse... I can't move my search elsewhere. I'm pretty much at the end of the line with the Ukrainian / Russian dating website. I have been steadily increasing my search radius to find the right person... but unfortunately, Earth is the only planet with humans on it, so I can't do some sort of interplanetary dating service.

Some questions I guess I have are...

Are these Ukrainian / Russian women really looking for an American man?

Is everything I've been reading true? Apparently there is a 5/4 ratio of women to men in the region. I've also read that the men there tend to be abusive alcoholics. And, I've also read that there is a 80% success rate with international marriages.

On top of all of that... these women are pretty, and they are smart. And they seem to be committed to raising a family. I'm not asking for much, but it seems like I'm searching for a unicorn (and I have robots assisting me in the search).

This literally seems all too good to be true. And I sort of don't know what to expect either... Like, I'm 27, 6'3", 220lbs. I'm a software engineer, good salary.

Part of me, thinks that women in Ukraine would be attracted to someone their own age. Part of me thinks that I'm unique because I'm younger. I also wonder if Ukrainian / Russian women perfer to date older, and that I should actually look for people younger than me.

But, when I joined singles.ru, I saw some of the other men posting on these sites. I instantly felt a sense of hopelessness.

I guess I'm just looking for some advice... on anything you care to share with me about the endeavor.

Thanks,
-Rob


Offline Drew

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2014, 10:27:40 AM »
I don't see your problem.
Your method is giving you a lot of leads.
Use your computer skills to keep weeding and weeding, and you should come up with some very good prospects.
Follow up on them.

Who cares what someone else might think about why several women are showing interest in you.

Go for it.

Offline Lily

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2014, 10:32:50 AM »
Hello Rob,

 :welcome:

Why is it a surprise for you that Russian women are looking for an American man? We don't restrict ourselves locally. If someone is fluent in English, or wants to be fluent at some point of her life, or does not mind relocating to Northern America - why not?

Regarding whether everything you read in the profiles is true - depends a lot. There are all kinds of people out there. If in doubt, just ask.

As far as the ratio of men and women is concerned, my opinion is that it is not just the numbers of men vs. women. It basically comes down to the ratio of eligible and available men and women, as well as the supply and demand of them.

Regarding the age - I'd say we don't prefer dating older men. Essentially, it would rather be about dating someone who is established in their life, has a solid job, house, you name it. The adage about Russian women dating older men would rather come from people who work in the so called 'mail order bride' business, in order to give hope to the more older guys.

And there is no 'should-do's' when it comes to finding a life partner. Follow your heart and your idea of happiness, but at the same time listen to your gut feelings when it comes to being reasonable.

« Last Edit: September 13, 2014, 10:40:25 AM by Lily »
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Offline BillyB

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2014, 11:08:28 AM »

I have reverse engineered a number of dating websites, and plugged it into an artificial intelligence (ChatScript) to automatically message people with profile-specific comments on my behalf. That means, the messages I send look like I read your profile and I'm asking questions. If my A.I. sees you like country music, it asks about it.

I've been on E-Harmony, OkCupid, PlentyOfFish, Match.com. Pretty much, anything that exists I've been on it. Romaniakiss.com, sentimente.com...

I used to do the process manually... But I found it was a waste of time, given the small success rate, and being a software engineer, I decided to automate it.



Forget about what people say in profiles. You're missing out on a lot of quality women because your software program will skip over them. Choose a woman with your eyes first, then learn more about her without the help of a computer program. You can easily write thousands of women with a cut an paste introduction on singles.ru.


Part of me, thinks that women in Ukraine would be attracted to someone their own age. Part of me thinks that I'm unique because I'm younger. I also wonder if Ukrainian / Russian women perfer to date older, and that I should actually look for people younger than me.



You're overthinking. Not good.


But, when I joined singles.ru, I saw some of the other men posting on these sites. I instantly felt a sense of hopelessness.



Lack of confidence is going to keep you single for a long time. If you feel you can't beat your competition, fix the problem, don't give up.


I guess I'm just looking for some advice... on anything you care to share with me about the endeavor.



Do lots of reading here and you'll pick up on some good stuff. Lots of political topics clustering up the forum lately so you may have to look back some to find topics that are valuable to you.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2014, 04:27:53 PM »
I guess I'm just looking for some advice... on anything you care to share with me about the endeavor.
You might benefit from a look at our free E-book "Men of the West - Women From the East" (http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=47).

It's a bit dated (2007) but still contains some valid information for a newby to the FSUW scene ;).
Milan's "Duomo"

Offline calmissile

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2014, 05:52:15 PM »
You might benefit from a look at our free E-book "Men of the West - Women From the East" (http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=47).

It's a bit dated (2007) but still contains some valid information for a newby to the FSUW scene ;).

Other than advising to duck your head when the bullets are flying, it is still a very good source.   Good job Sandro. for putting it together.
Doug (Calmissile)

Offline iceshaft07

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2014, 09:09:16 AM »
Hey everyone, thanks for the replies. I think I'm off to a good start so far.

Part of the reason why I think a RW would be good for me is the cultural differences, and part of my exploration is to see if that makes a difference in my dating life. Part of me thinks it will, albeit a very expensive endeavor.

A really good question that I have is this:

I own guns. I enjoy shooting. If I've met someone, when should I tell them?

I live in Massachusetts... And I've told some people I've met on a first date and they seem to suddenly get really scared of me. Is the reaction different for FSUW?

Thanks,
-Rob

Offline Munshidasmanohar

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #7 on: September 14, 2014, 10:48:59 AM »
Mriceshaft07, my advising you, pls ask a questions on other foums. Here peoples not so good frendly advising. Many insultings. Giving good wishes you for success finding russian lady in marriage. I having same dream.

Good frendlys you, from Mrmunshidasmanohar from India.
my wife most sexy lady. She turning me super on.

Offline alex330

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #8 on: September 14, 2014, 10:56:40 AM »
I own guns. I enjoy shooting. If I've met someone, when should I tell them?

I live in Massachusetts... And I've told some people I've met on a first date and they seem to suddenly get really scared of me. Is the reaction different for FSUW?

It is not something I would mention right off the bat or on a first date. My wife (and several others on this forum) do like to shoot though so you can mention it in small talk at some point to feel the situation out.

Offline Munshidasmanohar

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #9 on: September 14, 2014, 11:06:41 AM »
It is not something I would mention right off the bat or on a first date. My wife (and several others on this forum) do like to shoot though so you can mention it in small talk at some point to feel the situation out.

Mralex30, no problems having shootings. I also shooting all dirty dogs from streets outside home.
my wife most sexy lady. She turning me super on.

Offline calmissile

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #10 on: September 14, 2014, 11:14:57 AM »
It is not something I would mention right off the bat or on a first date. My wife (and several others on this forum) do like to shoot though so you can mention it in small talk at some point to feel the situation out.

Very good advice.  Since it is important to you, it would be a good idea at some point to feel her out on the topic.  It would not be pleasant to marry a woman that detests guns since it is your hobby.

I guess I was fortunate.  On one of my visits to my wife, she mentioned guns and showed me her weapons.  It turned out she had some kind of military training when she was young and became a marksman.  I was pleased that we are on the same page and it was not an issue.

I don't know about the average Ukraine woman's view on the topic, but have ran into a lot of American women that freak out just to hear the term 'gun'.    :D

Doug (Calmissile)

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #11 on: September 14, 2014, 11:17:02 AM »
Mriceshaft07, my advising you, pls ask a questions on other foums. Here peoples not so good frendly advising. Many insultings. Giving good wishes you for success finding russian lady in marriage. I having same dream.

Good frendlys you, from Mrmunshidasmanohar from India.

If this forum isn't meeting your needs, why are you here? There are plenty of forums that will tell you what you want to hear. Folks here tend to tell you what you need to hear. Some folks can't handle the truth. If you don't like RWD, please move on. Nobody is twisting your arm to stay and don't let the door hit you, where the Good Lord split you  ;D

Offline Munshidasmanohar

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #12 on: September 14, 2014, 11:33:57 AM »
If this forum isn't meeting your needs, why are you here? There are plenty of forums that will tell you what you want to hear. Folks here tend to tell you what you need to hear. Some folks can't handle the truth. If you don't like RWD, please move on. Nobody is twisting your arm to stay and don't let the door hit you, where the Good Lord split you  ;D
Mrfauxpas, you exactly fine example of mine telling. Why for you scolding? You not knowing how being gentlemans? My arm very fine straight thanks you and sorry you talking hocus pocus for doors closing/opening.
Very easy be internet hero man .
my wife most sexy lady. She turning me super on.

Online Faux Pas

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #13 on: September 14, 2014, 12:21:17 PM »
Mrfauxpas, you exactly fine example of mine telling. Why for you scolding? You not knowing how being gentlemans? My arm very fine straight thanks you and sorry you talking hocus pocus for doors closing/opening.
Very easy be internet hero man .

I'm not scolding you. I'm asking you, why are you here if this forum is bad? You are attempting to run off a new member by disparaging this forum. If you don't like this forum, find yourself another. If you need your information sugar coated, buy a donut. The information here is like gold for those looking for it. If you can't handle the delivery of the information, deal with it or find a place where you can handle it. Everybody doesn't agree. Suck it up Cupcake

Offline iceshaft07

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #14 on: September 14, 2014, 03:47:36 PM »
So at this point, I've read everything except the appendix. I see no reason why I shouldn't try this-- higher marriage success rates, smarter, and prettier people live there.

As I said, I've had a lot of experience dating on U.S. dating websites. I've nearly tried them all.

In the book, there is a simple formula for sending out a message to a woman you like & intend to visit. It goes something like:
Why you are interested in communicating with here
Aspects of here personality
Aspects of my personality
What we may have in common

With my experiences on U.S. dating websites, this seems like a formula for failure. Does it really work? Has anyone here sent out introductory messages like this?

For example, here is a message I sent someone on fdating.com:
----
Your red hair caught my attention. But then I saw you work in Higher Education, and speak English. I also work in Higher Education, so I thought we might have some things in common.

I also saw that you are looking for a reliable, loyal, and kind person, and I'm pretty sure that's me. Also, I'm practicing learning Russian, but I'm not very good at it yet. I've only been at it for a few weeks.

Can you tell me more about yourself?

I hope to hear from you!
----

Now, I was previously criticized for being unconfident. However, I do not think this is the case. Based on what I've read, the above message sounds appropriate. Would you agree?

Thanks,
-Rob

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #15 on: September 14, 2014, 04:41:02 PM »
So at this point, I've read everything except the appendix. I see no reason why I shouldn't try this-- higher marriage success rates, smarter, and prettier people live there.

As I said, I've had a lot of experience dating on U.S. dating websites. I've nearly tried them all.

In the book, there is a simple formula for sending out a message to a woman you like & intend to visit. It goes something like:
Why you are interested in communicating with here
Aspects of here personality
Aspects of my personality
What we may have in common

With my experiences on U.S. dating websites, this seems like a formula for failure. Does it really work? Has anyone here sent out introductory messages like this?

For example, here is a message I sent someone on fdating.com:
----
Your red hair caught my attention. But then I saw you work in Higher Education, and speak English. I also work in Higher Education, so I thought we might have some things in common.

I also saw that you are looking for a reliable, loyal, and kind person, and I'm pretty sure that's me. Also, I'm practicing learning Russian, but I'm not very good at it yet. I've only been at it for a few weeks.

Can you tell me more about yourself?

I hope to hear from you!
----

Now, I was previously criticized for being unconfident. However, I do not think this is the case. Based on what I've read, the above message sounds appropriate. Would you agree?

Thanks,
-Rob

I won't go the no self confidence road but I will tell you this; at some point and very quickly after there is the initial interest from you both, you have to move away from the date site's communication and it turns into one on one, boy meets girl. Are you prepared for that? From your introduction you appear to have went to great lengths to avoid direct communication with prospective ladies. There is no substitute for direct communication. In essence, it is the same as meeting and dating at home. You have to use a few tools to facilitate for the distance. Computers being one of them.

Yes, your initial contact "note" is fine. Keep it brief and to the point. If/when she responds, set up a time to skype/phone and get to the intro stage.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2014, 04:43:03 PM by Faux Pas »

Offline AC

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #16 on: September 14, 2014, 04:46:05 PM »
I won't go the no self confidence road but I will tell you this; at some point and very quickly after there is the initial interest from you both, you have to move away from the date site's communication and it turns into one on one, boy meets girl. Are you prepared for that? From your introduction you appear to have went to great lengths to avoid direct communication with prospective ladies. There is no substitute for direct communication. In essence, it is the same as meeting and dating at home. You have to use a few tools to facilitate for the distance. Computers being one of them.

Yes, your initial contact "note" is fine. Keep it brief and to the point. If/when she responds, set up a time to skype/phone and get to the intro stage.

Although I initially (and sometimes still do) liked the concept of internet dating, I found in the end that there is simply nothing better than meeting someone in person and proceeding from there, if possible bypassing the web entirely.

Offline iceshaft07

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #17 on: September 14, 2014, 05:22:00 PM »
Ok.

As I've said, I have gone to great lengths, and I strongly feel that self confidence has nothing to do with my decision to search for FSUW.

I'm at the point, where I think it is the people around me, and not my personality. But I wanted to verify this by showing you all a sample message of the countless number of messages I've sent women on U.S. sites. If I were to send the message to a woman on a U.S. site, I would likely not get a reply.

So, I am somewhat excited to see the results of using a free international dating website. I'm very curious what the differences will be.

For example, in the past 24 hours, I've already recieved a couple of messages from peoples profiles whom I did not visit. I'm skeptical of course. Yet, at the same rate, I'm wondering if this is because of a difference in cultures.

As I observe some of the photos of other members on this website-- I'm not much different from you. Part of me wonders if all of you guys realized you should date internationally before I did. Maybe I'm just slow is all.

At any rate, I'll keep you all posted. I'm curious what fruits will come from this.

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #18 on: September 14, 2014, 06:40:12 PM »
Ok.

As I've said, I have gone to great lengths, and I strongly feel that self confidence has nothing to do with my decision to search for FSUW.

I'm at the point, where I think it is the people around me, and not my personality. But I wanted to verify this by showing you all a sample message of the countless number of messages I've sent women on U.S. sites. If I were to send the message to a woman on a U.S. site, I would likely not get a reply.

So, I am somewhat excited to see the results of using a free international dating website. I'm very curious what the differences will be.

For example, in the past 24 hours, I've already recieved a couple of messages from peoples profiles whom I did not visit. I'm skeptical of course. Yet, at the same rate, I'm wondering if this is because of a difference in cultures.

As I observe some of the photos of other members on this website-- I'm not much different from you. Part of me wonders if all of you guys realized you should date internationally before I did. Maybe I'm just slow is all.

At any rate, I'll keep you all posted. I'm curious what fruits will come from this.

Nothing at this stage in the game is the "difference in cultures". Many FSUW tend to be more direct, sometimes much more blount but, do not write off anything as cultural differences. Bad behavior or rudeness  is bad behavior no matter where they are from.

As I mentioned earlier, this is basically, boy meets girl. The same mating dances you do at home with the local ladies you'll do for inter-cultural relationships. You get no free passes because it starts out online and you didn't run into her at the grocery store.

Good Luck

Offline iceshaft07

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #19 on: September 14, 2014, 07:10:15 PM »
Hey :-)

I would say being more direct is a cultural difference :-).

But I did have another question. Do FSUW look poorly upon people who play videogames? For example, I once read a book that once said while dating on match.com, or okcupid, one should not mention anything about videogames at anypoint.

This is particularly difficult for me, because I love them so much. So much that I went to college to learn how to write them, and I am actively making home-made video games right now for android and PC. I used to mention it because I thought it would give off a signal that I am a smart person and can support a family. However, in my older age, it seems that my main interest has backfired on me, and it is actually perceived as a negative trait if one likes videogames.

Are videogames frowned upon by FSUW?

Edit:
Also, I should also note: I am a very polite gentleman. I just find it very difficult to date people here in the U.S. and I'm curious if it is any different elsewhere. I'm just tired of the way things are going as far as dating in the U.S. Part of me thinks that a renewed sense of enthusiasm for dating FSUWs is exactly what I need.

« Last Edit: September 14, 2014, 07:13:18 PM by iceshaft07 »

Offline Doll

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #20 on: September 14, 2014, 07:20:29 PM »
Frowned

Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #21 on: September 14, 2014, 07:33:09 PM »
...But I did have another question. Do FSUW look poorly upon people who play videogames? For example, I once read a book that once said while dating on match.com, or okcupid, one should not mention anything about videogames at anypoint.

This is particularly difficult for me, because I love them so much. So much that I went to college to learn how to write them, and I am actively making home-made video games right now for android and PC. I used to mention it because I thought it would give off a signal that I am a smart person and can support a family. However, in my older age, it seems that my main interest has backfired on me, and it is actually perceived as a negative trait if one likes videogames.

Are videogames frowned upon by FSUW?

First,  :welcome: iceshaft, and good luck in your endeavours.

I would warn you, though, that video gaming was a substantial factor in the near ending of one marriage on here not too long ago!  :cluebat:

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #22 on: September 14, 2014, 09:38:12 PM »
Hey :-)

I would say being more direct is a cultural difference :-).

But I did have another question. Do FSUW look poorly upon people who play videogames? For example, I once read a book that once said while dating on match.com, or okcupid, one should not mention anything about videogames at anypoint.

This is particularly difficult for me, because I love them so much. So much that I went to college to learn how to write them, and I am actively making home-made video games right now for android and PC. I used to mention it because I thought it would give off a signal that I am a smart person and can support a family. However, in my older age, it seems that my main interest has backfired on me, and it is actually perceived as a negative trait if one likes videogames.

Are videogames frowned upon by FSUW?

Not if she is a video games programmer herself. If you look far and wide you might be able to settle for one who actually likes and shares your *cough* enthusiasm for video games

Quote
Edit:
Also, I should also note: I am a very polite gentleman. I just find it very difficult to date people here in the U.S. and I'm curious if it is any different elsewhere. I'm just tired of the way things are going as far as dating in the U.S. Part of me thinks that a renewed sense of enthusiasm for dating FSUWs is exactly what I need.

No, it's not any different elsewhere. If you have these problems at home, you'll have them in Russia. Polite is good but, no woman is going to like you, bed you or marry you because you are polite. You'll find some women willing to date you in the FSU. The more you post, the more you indicate that actually dating a woman has been a problem for you. The FSU is no place for an amateur although many do try it. Many get their ass handed to them, too.

I'm not trying to bust your chops here guy but, how long has it been since you've been on a date?

Offline I/O

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #23 on: September 14, 2014, 09:49:22 PM »
Where's the 'troll ignore' button?

Offline mendeleyev

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Re: Hi there!
« Reply #24 on: September 15, 2014, 01:50:22 AM »
Quote
I own guns. I enjoy shooting. If I've met someone, when should I tell them?


There is a thread that I put some work into, somewhere on the forum, about guns in Russia. Search for it.

Short story: Most citizens don't own guns because of restrictive laws. It is a five-year process to legal gun ownership.

Real story: Compulsory military conscription has allowed for lots of folks to have guns at home, even if not legally.

Interesting story: Younger Russians love those paint ball games and play with air guns. You might find a lady to be more interested that at first imagined. Just be sure that if she points something in your direction that it is fill with paint.
The Mendeleyev Journal. http://mendeleyevjournal.com Member: Congress of Russian Journalists; ЖУРНАЛИСТЫ.RU (Journalist-Russia); ЖУРНАЛИСТЫ.UA (Journalist-Ukraine); ЖУРНАЛИСТЫ.KZ (Journalist-Kazakhstan); ПОРТАЛ ЖУРНАЛИСТОВ (Portal of RU-UA Journalists); Просто Журналисты ("Just Journalists").

 

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