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Author Topic: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?  (Read 56781 times)

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Offline IamMaiC

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if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« on: November 25, 2015, 03:09:44 PM »
ok, I'm new here...my first question.  I have been writing this woman for a short period of time.  she travels with her "work"     she says she is interested in me.   she just recently came to the US.   she "worked" in miami and NYC.     she  is a DJ,  and is able to travel.    according to her,  she has been to many countries. 40 to be exact. 

well,  My question is this....is it normal for a FSU woman to want to meet right away?    or do I need to worry about this...or am I pretty lucky?  I've read some horror stories on this site.  she has been a DJ for the past 6 years.  and she plans to make 2016,   her last year in doing so.   according to her. 

thanks for the advice.   :)

Offline supraman

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2015, 04:01:21 PM »
You can answer almost every question you have -- Video skype .. , --- I did say "almost "  .
  But it sounds a bit suspect to me , and the way you ask the questions would seem you have your own doubts ? 
 Google searches  i feel may reveal your answer very quickly also .
Good luck. :)
   

Offline jone

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2015, 04:11:29 PM »
Welcome to the forum. 

There are so many questions that you have asked and so many questions that need to be asked of you.  Since we can't do the former without the latter, let's pursue the former by answering the latter.

How did you happen to meet this woman?  Where is she from?   Did you contact her or did she contact you?

Is she in the United States now?  Has she asked you for any money?  What is her age?

While it is important to meet someone early in a correspondence relationship, is she proposing to come to you?

We look forward to your answers.

Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline mendeleyev

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2015, 04:11:51 PM »
A DJ in the FSU isn't the highest paying job on the block, nor does it come with travel privileges typically, but it is usually a sign of someone who is young and a part of the party scene. Hint: not very high maturity/marriage potential.  It could be that she wants a DJ job in Miami, and that would pay spades more than in Russia, so she would need a husband in order to obtain some sort of permanent residency status.

As mentioned, use Skype, and don't be hurried along in the process. Those in a hurry often have a reason for the rush, and that reason is seldom in your best interest.

Ask for some flyers from jobs where she has worked. Those will tell you volumes, and don't buy a "we don't have flyers" excuse because that is the main form of advertising (outside social media) for Russian nightclubs and radio stations--both in the FSU and the USA.

As for a DJ traveling to some 40 countries, there is only rare demand for DJs at that level of travel--and the few who do don't need the Internet for marriage options. Tell her that you know someone who is in Russian media (me), and you'd enjoy knowing the names of stations and cities in the FSU where she has worked.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2015, 04:20:49 PM by mendeleyev »
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Offline Slumba

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2015, 04:36:53 PM »
ok, I'm new here...my first question.  I have been writing this woman for a short period of time.  she travels with her "work"     she says she is interested in me.   she just recently came to the US.   she "worked" in miami and NYC.     she  is a DJ,  and is able to travel.    according to her,  she has been to many countries. 40 to be exact. 

well,  My question is this....is it normal for a FSU woman to want to meet right away?    or do I need to worry about this...or am I pretty lucky?  I've read some horror stories on this site.  she has been a DJ for the past 6 years.  and she plans to make 2016,   her last year in doing so.   according to her. 

thanks for the advice.   :)

By definition her work is unusual and she is not living a "normal" life.  If she is legit, fine. 

If she is not legit, she will make plans to visit you, then send you a sob story a day before her arrival telling of a visa problem or some other issue, that requires you to send her money right away, so she can make her flight.

Per Mendey's comment, she should have an Instagram or VKontakte.com (vk.com) account to promote herself. 

If you ask for her Instagram, that is normal, especially if you have already set one up yourself and have a few photos on it - there are few privacy settings on Instagram and the whole purpose is to show your photos to other people and get publicity.

Example:  a guy in Moscow named Igor Rogachev - his Instagram:  http://www.instagram.com/roga4ev/   his VK (you might need to create an account): vk.com/dj.roga4ev

( Note that the the number 4 looks very much like the "ch" consonant in Russian, "Ч" which is why he used it)
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Offline LAman

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2015, 04:38:59 PM »
Simple.....just ask her next time she comes to US, that you'll meet her. In meantime, just get to know her . It's not like your spending cache on her, right?

Just this year I had a girl from Russia come to visit me after 3 months of sporadic writing. Once she was coming to visit we spoke most everyday on viber.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2015, 04:42:31 PM by LAman »
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Offline BillyB

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2015, 05:24:28 PM »

If she comes, she comes. Just watch out for a story she's short on money before being able to come.
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Offline ML

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #7 on: November 25, 2015, 05:28:32 PM »
If she comes, she comes.

Billy, you should know; they call it finishing.
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Offline BdHvA

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #8 on: November 25, 2015, 05:29:27 PM »
If I am not mistaken another poster is both Russian (commercial) on RWD and a DJ, living in Florida. Not sure how active he is anymore.

As noted Skype is your friend.

As Mendy comments DJ's even in Western Europe do NOT earn that much money, my son does it from time to time for clubs and he is happy if he can recoup his out pocket expenses. With that noted I seem to remember an event with A. van Buuren and some long leggy blonde from Russia on Queens Day. She mixed allot of lounge & chill jazz and it was good.

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Offline alex330

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #9 on: November 25, 2015, 05:37:29 PM »
It could be that she wants a DJ job in Miami, and that would pay spades more than in Russia, so she would need a husband in order to obtain some sort of permanent residency status.

We live in South Florida and this is a concern with many of the FSUW down here. Not saying this is the case with the woman you are speaking to. Some do marry for the GC end up staying with the guy anyways as well. We know of quite a few in the scene down here that have gone that route.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2015, 05:39:10 PM by alex330 »

Offline IamMaiC

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #10 on: November 25, 2015, 05:58:18 PM »
Welcome to the forum. 

There are so many questions that you have asked and so many questions that need to be asked of you.  Since we can't do the former without the latter, let's pursue the former by answering the latter.

How did you happen to meet this woman?  Where is she from?   Did you contact her or did she contact you?

Is she in the United States now?  Has she asked you for any money?  What is her age?

While it is important to meet someone early in a correspondence relationship, is she proposing to come to you?

We look forward to your answers.



I started writing to the DJ after I met a neighbor of my mother and father.  their son.  who was married to a woman from the ukraine.    they have been married a little over a year.   well,  she made dinner for all of us one night.   while sitting around the dinner table,  I thought she was pretty.   and the conversation came down relationships.  as a joke,  I said I was looking.  (which wasn't a joke)  she took me seriously,  and asked for my email.  she told me a friend of mine will contact you...I thought she was joking.   

the dinner above was about a month ago,  well a few days after the dinner.  I see a strange email address,  so I click on it.  it's the DJ I mentioned.  I said what!!  wow...she introduced herself and even sent a picture.   so I wrote to her.  and every few days we would write back and forth.   one email she mentioned she was a DJ and she travelled alot with her job.   and she would be coming to the US,  to do shows in miami and NYC.  she asked me if I could meet her in miami.   she told me the date,  but I could not make it  due to my work.  which may have been a mistake.    she  was in miami for a short time.  then went to NYC. 

she asked me again,  is it possible to meet her in NYC.  I couldn't.   I asked her to send me an email that she arrived safely in the ukraine.   she did.   that was maybe two weeks ago.   her most recent email,  she told me she was tired of being a DJ and travelling,  she had been to 3 places in such short period of time.   baku,  miami and NYC.   she wanted to start a relationship with someone and then asked if I was interested.  I told her  I would like to learn more about you.  she told me ok....

then I started my investigation,  I got her last name from her email.  and did a google search.  her name came up.  I found some pics that she is an actress,  she told me about that..also pics that she is half of DJ Duo  Husky....it's her and a dark haired girl.   a DJ team,  I guess.    well,  as a test.   I searched for other ukraine DJ's  and I found one   DJ natasha phoenix.    then I wrote her back.  and included a picture of natasha phoenix.  I did not mention her name.   I just asked do you know this DJ?    she said yes,  that is natasha phoenix.  I use to work with her and I know her well.   the truth?   unknown. 

I also found a facebook page of dj duo husky,  a page of DJ alina.  that is her name.  and I also found both instagram accounts for DJ Duo Husky and her own account.   looked through pics and found none with her and another man,  but that does not mean she does not have a BF.   ;)

this is the situation as it stands.   


Offline BdHvA

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #11 on: November 25, 2015, 06:17:35 PM »
First, Welcome to RWD.

Your additional information adds truth and makes it entirely plausible. Looking on line gives further credence.

What is your musical taste?

What do you offer this woman?
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Offline IamMaiC

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #12 on: November 25, 2015, 06:37:07 PM »
First, Welcome to RWD.

Your additional information adds truth and makes it entirely plausible. Looking on line gives further credence.

What is your musical taste?

What do you offer this woman?


thanks for the invite,    my musical tastes range from heavy metal,   rock to classical.  I like music.  I even listen to some pop music.  I actually have been listening to her music,  she told me she was on sound  cloud.com   she makes pretty good dance/ club music.   what can I offer her?   I have my own business.    but nothing is set in stone with her yet,  we of course are just beginning.   take one day at a time.  but she will be comfortable with me.   I am a mature man,   46.   

it just surprised me that she would want to meet so soon after writing only for a few weeks at the most.   half a month?      main reason for my initial question.    I am just glad that she had info on the internet that I could check,  I'm sure it is hard for guys when they have nothing to fall upon.   just trust the woman they are writing. 

Offline jone

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #13 on: November 25, 2015, 06:51:43 PM »

thanks for the invite,    my musical tastes range from heavy metal,   rock to classical.  I like music.  I even listen to some pop music.  I actually have been listening to her music,  she told me she was on sound  cloud.com   she makes pretty good dance/ club music.   what can I offer her?   I have my own business.    but nothing is set in stone with her yet,  we of course are just beginning.   take one day at a time.  but she will be comfortable with me.   I am a mature man,   46.   

it just surprised me that she would want to meet so soon after writing only for a few weeks at the most.   half a month?      main reason for my initial question.    I am just glad that she had info on the internet that I could check,  I'm sure it is hard for guys when they have nothing to fall upon.   just trust the woman they are writing.

You have a built in information source.  I would contact the gal that gave her your info and ask for a recommendation, if you feel comfortable.  If not from her, from her husband.  After understanding the way you met, it would be silly not to meet her.  Obviously her friend gave you the introduction. 

To answer your direct question, no time is too soon.  Especially if you have no risk in that she would be visiting you.    However, you have an assignment.  Start reading.  This forum, in particular.  Know what an FSU woman expects, how to treat them and subtle signs that give her true intentions.    You did not mention her age.

Are you prepared for a relationship? 
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline IamMaiC

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #14 on: November 25, 2015, 07:15:03 PM »
You have a built in information source.  I would contact the gal that gave her your info and ask for a recommendation, if you feel comfortable.  If not from her, from her husband.  After understanding the way you met, it would be silly not to meet her.  Obviously her friend gave you the introduction. 

To answer your direct question, no time is too soon.  Especially if you have no risk in that she would be visiting you.    However, you have an assignment.  Start reading.  This forum, in particular.  Know what an FSU woman expects, how to treat them and subtle signs that give her true intentions.    You did not mention her age.

Are you prepared for a relationship? 

I already thanked the woman married to my parent's neighbor's son.   I did not expect alina  (dj)  I was expecting an average woman.   I was very surprised.    yes,  I will start reading the info you supply about FSU women.    alina is 24.      I wasn't expecting that either.   she said she plans to come back next year to the US.   not sure yet working as a DJ or on her own.   but yes,  when she does return  I am definately meeting her.   unless during the time between now and then.   I could visit the ukraine. 

yes,  I'm prepared for a relationship.  but as i said before it is only beginning. 

Offline IamMaiC

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #15 on: November 25, 2015, 08:33:04 PM »
A DJ in the FSU isn't the highest paying job on the block, nor does it come with travel privileges typically, but it is usually a sign of someone who is young and a part of the party scene. Hint: not very high maturity/marriage potential.  It could be that she wants a DJ job in Miami, and that would pay spades more than in Russia, so she would need a husband in order to obtain some sort of permanent residency status.

As mentioned, use Skype, and don't be hurried along in the process. Those in a hurry often have a reason for the rush, and that reason is seldom in your best interest.

Ask for some flyers from jobs where she has worked. Those will tell you volumes, and don't buy a "we don't have flyers" excuse because that is the main form of advertising (outside social media) for Russian nightclubs and radio stations--both in the FSU and the USA.

As for a DJ traveling to some 40 countries, there is only rare demand for DJs at that level of travel--and the few who do don't need the Internet for marriage options. Tell her that you know someone who is in Russian media (me), and you'd enjoy knowing the names of stations and cities in the FSU where she has worked.

thanks for the info,    I will mention I "know" you if things turn for the worse.

Offline ML

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #16 on: November 25, 2015, 09:27:43 PM »
Given that she was 'introduced' to you by a friend of a friend, I think you are worrying too much about her.

I think she is a lot 'safer' than probably most of the gals that guys here get hooked up with.

A worry could surface however, if you find/hear some 'dirt' on the friend of a friend that introduced you two.  If you can find out more about the relationship she has with her  AM, that would give you a good understanding of what type of gals the two of them are.

i.e. This gal already in USA might be a Green Card gal herself.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #17 on: November 25, 2015, 10:39:32 PM »
 :welcome: Stephen, but please stop calling it "THE" Ukraine!  :cluebat:

It seems to me that this young lady appears pretty genuine, given that you've been able to find out so much about her AND that she comes recommended from someone that you know personally.  My only hesitation would be the age difference - 22 years is tough enough anyway, but she's only 24 now.  That's a very long way away from the comfort zone of just about everyone on here, regardless of their own personal circumstances.  BillyB is one exception - he's about the same amount older than his wife, who was 19 when they married three years ago.

You're obviously a long, long way away from marriage at this stage - just take it as it comes, and spend the next few months trying to get to know Alina as well as you can.

Offline JayH

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #18 on: November 26, 2015, 12:09:59 AM »
First off-- stop attempting to check on her in her world.There is enough real life info for you to see.
As it happens-- I know a few DJ's from Ukraine( & US).
I disagree about earnings comments above-- by Ukraine standards they can earn good money( FULL STOP)
Often they have the opportunity to travel on fully paid gigs.So-nothing that unusual in visiting 40 countries . Good looking Ukrainian girls as DJ's makes sense to me! Ukrainians are pretty good partiers too!
It also goes without saying that these girls will not have lacked male attention everywhere--that means nothing more than the words used-it is not a comment on girls morality in any way.
What it can equal- is many opportunities to move west-if they chose to.
In your case-- it may be that her friend saw you and your world as attractive in the long term as a serious candidate-- it may be as simple as that.
In the bigger picture-- meeting a real life person who is a "celebrity"( at least in her world) thru a mutual friend is a good way to get introduced --but in the end- it comes down to meeting in real life situation.
Stop trying to add 2 + 2 to =10 at this stage.


ps   is she working anywhere this week?
« Last Edit: November 26, 2015, 12:15:08 AM by JayH »
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
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 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline jone

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #19 on: November 26, 2015, 07:52:27 AM »
I already thanked the woman married to my parent's neighbor's son.   I did not expect alina  (dj)  I was expecting an average woman.   I was very surprised.    yes,  I will start reading the info you supply about FSU women.    alina is 24.      I wasn't expecting that either.   she said she plans to come back next year to the US.   not sure yet working as a DJ or on her own.   but yes,  when she does return  I am definately meeting her.   unless during the time between now and then.   I could visit the ukraine. 

yes,  I'm prepared for a relationship.  but as i said before it is only beginning.

If you grow to be serious about this woman, do not hesitate to get on a plane and go to find her.  One thing Ukrainian women appreciate - a man who can make up his mind and be decisive.  Especially about going to meet her. 

I would suggest going if it is even only for a long weekend.  You will know before the weekend is over whether there is chemistry. 

On another note:  22 years of age difference is not huge to many FSU women.   From personal experience, I can tell you that many women in their mid twenties appreciate a more mature man.    You have to be able to relate to her at her age.  If you can do that, you can form an effective partnership.

The biggest hindrance to this relationship, as I see it, is your job responsibilities and an inability to travel (as stated in your OP.)  You will need to create windows of opportunity to grow together.  It helps if she has a US Visa.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline BillyB

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #20 on: November 26, 2015, 08:30:55 AM »
.  she asked me if I could meet her in miami.   she told me the date,  but I could not make it  due to my work.  which may have been a mistake.    she  was in miami for a short time.  then went to NYC. 

she asked me again,  is it possible to meet her in NYC. I couldn't.   I asked her to send me an email that she arrived safely in the ukraine.   she did.   that was maybe two weeks ago.   her most recent email,  she told me she was tired of being a DJ and travelling,  she had been to 3 places in such short period of time.   baku,  miami and NYC.   she wanted to start a relationship with someone and then asked if I was interested.  I told her  I would like to learn more about you.  she told me ok....



Under normal circumstances you should've lost this woman. She comes to America and is practically at your doorstep and you couldn't meet her the rest of the way. I think the only reason she's hung on to you this long is because her friend probably told her you're a good man. Remember the old saying "Nice guys finish last"? That's what's going to happen here if you don't get more aggressive chasing her. Opportunity has presented itself to you. The door isn't going to stay open forever. I wouldn't doubt she's already looking elsewhere right now for a man that can instead of can't. Do you want her or not? If you want her, find a solution to visit her or fly her to your city.


On another note:  22 years of age difference is not huge to many FSU women.   From personal experience, I can tell you that many women in their mid twenties appreciate a more mature man.   



I've dated FSU women in their 20's that refuse to date men under 30. Some of these women over there grow up fast to survive and maturity and stability is sexy.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline jone

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #21 on: November 26, 2015, 08:34:43 AM »

Under normal circumstances you should've lost this woman. She comes to America and is practically at your doorstep and you couldn't meet her the rest of the way. I think the only reason she's hung on to you this long is because her friend probably told her you're a good man. Remember the old saying "Nice guys finish last"? That's what's going to happen here if you don't get more aggressive chasing her. Opportunity has presented itself to you. The door isn't going to stay open forever. I wouldn't doubt she's already looking elsewhere right now for a man that can instead of can't. Do you want her or not? If you want her, find a solution to visit her or fly her to your city.



I've dated FSU women in their 20's that refuse to date men under 30. Some of these women over there grow up fast to survive and maturity and stability is sexy.

+1

I did not want to seem strident about your (supposed) lack of interest when she was in your city.  But Billy punched your ticket.  And you should take note.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline IamMaiC

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #22 on: November 26, 2015, 08:45:01 AM »
:welcome: Stephen, but please stop calling it "THE" Ukraine!  :cluebat:

It seems to me that this young lady appears pretty genuine, given that you've been able to find out so much about her AND that she comes recommended from someone that you know personally.  My only hesitation would be the age difference - 22 years is tough enough anyway, but she's only 24 now.  That's a very long way away from the comfort zone of just about everyone on here, regardless of their own personal circumstances.  BillyB is one exception - he's about the same amount older than his wife, who was 19 when they married three years ago.

You're obviously a long, long way away from marriage at this stage - just take it as it comes, and spend the next few months trying to get to know Alina as well as you can.

Thanks for the advice,  I'll remember it's just Ukraine... :)

Offline Gator

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #23 on: November 26, 2015, 09:40:04 AM »
This woman seems genuine enough to pursue.  One way to lose a genuine UW is to question her genuineness.   Another way is to be indecisive.  Get on your horse and pursue this woman. 

Visiting her in Ukraine is good because not only you can meet her, you will see her friends, family, and culture.  Such is very valuable in developing a good understanding of her.

As you talk on Skype, I suggest you resolve some issues that would concern me:

Although  the MOB agency hype claims RW like older men, and some men here at RWD are married to much younger women, this is not normal in Russian culture.  Has she had much experience in dating older men.

Age 24 and has visited 40 countries.  Unless she really had a high-paying job or her parents are wealthy, men likely financed her trips.  This is normal in the FSU, but is it normal and acceptable  to you?

Women with her looks  are in demand in Ukraine.  Why would she not want to be with a Ukrainian man?  If she says all UM are bad because of this or that, be very careful. 

This woman has obviously  traveled in the fast lane.  She poses  too provocatively for my tastes (but that could be a job requirement).  Is that your style?   

Are you well above average?  (answer the question to yourself only, not here). 

Also, a 24-yo will probably want children in the future.  Do you?




Offline jone

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Re: if a woman wants to come and meet a man?
« Reply #24 on: November 26, 2015, 10:19:33 AM »
Yeah, Gator,

If you are evaluating whether a woman would be attracted to a man, there is no reasonable answer to this.  After all, both of our women have poor taste in men.  (What were they thinking?!?!?)
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

 

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