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Author Topic: Update - 13 years later  (Read 212972 times)

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Offline Gator

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #250 on: December 15, 2013, 09:39:46 AM »
Possible.
You're right- the facts are not presented.

Facts are presented about Northkape's explanation, omitting the personal reasons for a divorce (which we do not need to know, do we).  However, you present no reasons much less facts to explain that she was forced, other than your intuition and your opinion that no FSUW moves away from her children. 

Doll, you have given a good demonstration today of one aspect of RW mentality. 

Offline calmissile

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #251 on: December 15, 2013, 09:44:52 AM »
Facts are presented about Northkape's explanation, omitting the personal reasons for a divorce (which we do not need to know, do we).  However, you present no reasons much less facts to explain that she was forced, other than your intuition and your opinion that no FSUW moves away from her children. 

Doll, you have given a good demonstration today of one aspect of RW mentality.

I doubt it's RW mentality.  It is more like WW feminist mentality.  Attack the men regardless of the facts.     ;D
Doug (Calmissile)

Offline Gator

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #252 on: December 15, 2013, 09:53:24 AM »
Doll, We are all speculating as all the facts are not present.

That's always the case, so that is why we play detective.   

Quote
Here is an alternate theory. Lena gets work in Oslo. She falls in love with another man. Northkape is depressed and expresses suicidal thoughts. He constantly begs for her to come back. She feels guilt and looks for the best way to move on.

I am not buying the suicidal part.  I never felt suicidal in the same situation.  I felt down on several occasions (over 20 years of marriage).  In my case my wife is clinically depressed so any down days for me were mild in comparison. 

I am buying the guilt on her part.  She feels more guilt for leaving her children and less guilt for leaving Northkape. 

If he is indeed a family man, and if Lena is as glorious as Norhkape described her, he did oppose strongly the idea of a divorce.  Did he beg or just became obstinate about her not leaving?  I say the latter.  She would still have felt guilt without his begging.  She might have felt less guilt if he had begged.   

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How do you explain that he was welcomed by her parents?

Excellent point, and something I forgot.

Offline Gator

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #253 on: December 15, 2013, 09:55:42 AM »
I doubt it's RW mentality.  It is more like WW feminist mentality.  Attack the men regardless of the facts.     ;D

 :)

Offline Doll

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #254 on: December 15, 2013, 09:56:12 AM »
Doll, you have given a good demonstration today of one aspect of RW mentality.
Sure, this is who I am- RW  8)

Offline Doll

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #255 on: December 15, 2013, 10:00:53 AM »
Ok, no fighting guys)))
Speaking of "facts".
What are FACTS in NK story? He is still married,he is dating many Ukrainian women, he is keepkng the kids while Lena moved out.
 
Let's consider all these "facts"
 
(BTW I didn't ask to comment on the way I post here, ok?)

Online Faux Pas

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #256 on: December 15, 2013, 10:01:02 AM »
Faux, can you please explain a dumb Russian woman (me) what lesson he is teaching his sons?

Seriously? I would think it is pretty obvious but, built on pure speculation like every other post here. He's teaching his sons that the family unit is quite expendable based on the needs and desires of the mother and father. Basically, the kids well-being is secondary to the whines of the parents. This is assuming that the split is 50/50 fault of them both. Wrong lesson for such young impressionable minds. The family unit, the love of the parents for each other and for them is all the kids know. NorthKape is destroying that albeit, as gently as he possibly can but the end result is the same.

Offline Doll

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #257 on: December 15, 2013, 10:10:40 AM »
Guys, helloooooooo! What are you doing here if you have problems with FSU women's mentality?
Welcome to China then  :D

Offline Doll

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #258 on: December 15, 2013, 10:13:56 AM »
Faux, I knew the answer, I just was  facetious.

Offline jone

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #259 on: December 15, 2013, 10:16:29 AM »
Any real man would put years into raising his children instead of being so obsessed with finding his next temporary love interest.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline Doll

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #260 on: December 15, 2013, 10:22:10 AM »
Any real man would put years into raising his children instead of being so obsessed with finding his next temporary love interest.
Hey, you, Russian feminist! HAHA
I agree 100%.
Or he will share the kids with their mother.

Offline Boethius

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #261 on: December 15, 2013, 10:27:22 AM »
Seriously? I would think it is pretty obvious but, built on pure speculation like every other post here. He's teaching his sons that the family unit is quite expendable based on the needs and desires of the mother and father. Basically, the kids well-being is secondary to the whines of the parents.


Exactly.  BTW, the children are 10 years old, not teens.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline calmissile

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #262 on: December 15, 2013, 10:29:36 AM »
Seriously? I would think it is pretty obvious but, built on pure speculation like every other post here. He's teaching his sons that the family unit is quite expendable based on the needs and desires of the mother and father. Basically, the kids well-being is secondary to the whines of the parents. This is assuming that the split is 50/50 fault of them both. Wrong lesson for such young impressionable minds. The family unit, the love of the parents for each other and for them is all the kids know. NorthKape is destroying that albeit, as gently as he possibly can but the end result is the same.

Lets turn the speculation around a bit and look at it from a different perspective....
The mother abandoned her children.
The father wants a maternal substitute for the children and keep the family together.
It would be better for him to stay a bachelor and have no maternal influence of the children?  I don't think so!

In all this speculation about someone being at fault.........perhaps no one is at fault!  The parents for whever reason choose to not stay together.  Not the best solution for the children, but a loving new or modified family is better than two non-loving warm bodies staying together for the sake of the children.   I have seen this miserable scanario before.

The fact that the mother is not angry or hostile is a good sign that she wants the father to raise the kids.

Some of you have a strange outlook on terminated relationships.  Some couples can have friendly endings and maintain respect for each other.  My ex and I are a good example.  We dated for 10 years after our divorce.   In fact, she offered to do the wedding plans for Larissa and I.  Not all couples have to hate each other just because a marriage did not last forever.   I can remember many nights in the hot tub with my ex-wife remembering the good times we had together.  It does not mean that either party was wrong or someone got screwed over.  Sometimes adults simply realize they cannot be compatible living together any longer.

Unless I missed something, the mother of these children is seeking what she believes is best for them.  End of story!
Doug (Calmissile)

Offline BillyB

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #263 on: December 15, 2013, 10:31:23 AM »
What "no way"? Lena willingly left her sons? BS. It is 0.0000000% chance.

Only something horrible can force the FSU woman out of her family and away from her kids.



 Ask yourself if you were in the same situation where the ex husband gets the kids and living in Norway. You would fight for your kids and I'm sure in Norway you would win and put a restraining order on your ex if he did do something horrible. I'll bet you're a lady with a passion for your kids and would never give up.....but FSU women aren't the same when it comes to kids. Some kids are well taken care of, some spoiled, some neglected and some put in orphanages and unless things have changed in the last few years, most kids are aborted.


If I had to guess with the story presented, I would say Northcape's ex is less into kids than most women because she's not putting up much of a fight for custody.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Gator

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #264 on: December 15, 2013, 10:33:11 AM »
Basically, the kids well-being is secondary to the whines of the parents.

Divorce is not good, but living happily in loving homes is far better for kids than living together in an unhappy home with no love.   


Quote
The family unit, the love of the parents for each other and for them is all the kids know.

Family unit - The kids will still have a family unit, them and each of their parents.

Love of parents for each other - Gone, can not be restored.    So it is now better to show the kids that their parents are in love, albeit with a stepfather and stepmother.

Love of children by parents - That is  most important, and hopefully it still exists.




Quote
NorthKape is destroying that albeit, as gently as he possibly can but the end result is the same.

What should he do differently given that Lena is gone and is not coming back.   He easily could have told Lena to take the kids with her to Oslo because he wants to be free to chase skirt from near and far.  He stayed, and that speaks volumes.

Offline BillyB

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #265 on: December 15, 2013, 10:34:13 AM »
Any real man would put years into raising his children instead of being so obsessed with finding his next temporary love interest.


To be fair to Northcape, he is taking care of his kids more often than divorced men with less custody. His kids should be his #1 priority but his #2 priority should be taken care of too whether it be love or sex and it's better to get that from a wife than a rent a woman.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Doll

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #266 on: December 15, 2013, 10:49:58 AM »

To be fair to Northcape, he is taking care of his kids more often than divorced men with less custody. 
Because he is keeping the kids at his home!

Offline BillyB

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #267 on: December 15, 2013, 10:52:39 AM »
Because he is keeping the kids at his home!


With the mother's permission or against her will? If it's against her will, I'm sure she would win in a custody battle but she has to have the will to fight if it's that important to her.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline jone

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #268 on: December 15, 2013, 10:56:20 AM »

To be fair to Northcape, he is taking care of his kids more often than divorced men with less custody. His kids should be his #1 priority but his #2 priority should be taken care of too whether it be love or sex and it's better to get that from a wife than a rent a woman.

I don't know the situation with this particular individual.  This is the internet.  We only know what people post here.  But he has relayed various facts that have me believing that this task of finding a new 'wife' is consuming him.  He goes and buys a car for driving around Ukraine so he can impress the women.  He enlists everyone, ex-wife, inlaws, this forum, to be his moron moral supporters.  Yet nowhere do I see anything that relates to the true aspects of divorce.

Divorce is the biggest financial hardship many of you will ever experience.  It takes a family income and divides it in half.   Now, add to that, expectations of a new wife, a short shelf life for earnings years left before retirement, and possibly a new stepson or daughter. 

Ultimately the ones who suffer are the kids.  Some of you on here, Gator, for instance, have sufficient funds that a divorce is simply a change of living arrangements with emotional toil thrown in.  But for most, divorce is a hellish situation made worse by a severely decreased income.

If NorthKape handles his business affairs the way he has handled his emotional relationships (as described to us) then he certainly is not stable enough to support two families (not his proposed ex-wife) of his two children and whatever his future wife brings as far as needs.  She will not be working when she moves to Norway.

Keep in mind that he has, probably, around 12 years left that he will be making money - maybe more if he's lucky.   He is extremely fortunate to have children that are growing up in his household.  That should be his focus.

I would have much more respect for the man if he actually got a divorce, settled himself into a new life without parading around Europe advertising to have someone come in to replace his not yet ex-wife.  Then he could give the children time to adjust to the new reality without a shotgun to their heads introducing them to a new step mother, who will be living with them.

It is a tough thing to do, especially with 60 staring you in the face, but no one guaranteed that life promises you a loving wife if you can't keep the one you chose.  Again, the children come first.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline TS

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #269 on: December 15, 2013, 11:05:48 AM »
He sounds like a lot of men who go through a divorce and they want to show off to ex wife.  From his actions and what he writes you can tell he wishes they did not get a divorce and thinks by making her jealous she may want him back. 
In a couple years his head will be straight again and maybe he will get married again. 

Offline Doll

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #270 on: December 15, 2013, 11:08:09 AM »
Agree to Jone 100%

Offline missAmeno

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #271 on: December 15, 2013, 11:17:13 AM »
Northkape, I find it unusual that you come back 13 years later to post all of these details of you and your wife after you profess that it is over between you. Certainly, you don't need encouragement that you are doing the right thing.  Relationships end all the time for many different reasons and you are clearly a man who is confident he knows best how to live his own life.  But I believe that your wife might value her privacy more than you value her privacy during this difficult time.  I want to be clear, after 13 years, this break up is more difficult on her than you.  Even if there is fault on both sides, she might see this as a much more significant failure than you.  So why drag her through the mud in a seemingly positive post from your perspective? 

Fitabout62, Northkape will not give direct answer, he doesn't do that if he feels any criticism towards him. He will come up with some general your attitude/your reading/etc. In his story he told us his wife asked for certain things to be changed and that he didn't thought she would actually go for divorce. Have you seen many people who after break up from happy long marriage immediately started to seek new wife/husband? And I mean those who did such thing and had everything alright with .. err .. umm ... (sorry Northkape can't find better way to phrase this) ... their head? If I had to guess the reason in this case I would go with anger. That he is angry with her decision and therefore pics of her in bikini on net and him in her face trying to replace her ASAP. Of course it is nothing more than a guess on my behalf. I doubt Northkape will tell real reasons to us and I doubt he even will be able to admit them to himself.

The major point in this story, she asked for something to change. That something was big enough for her to divorce. Northkape for whatever reasons couldn't (or wouldn't as we do not know) change that.


Offline fathertime

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #272 on: December 15, 2013, 11:19:38 AM »
This story is VERY interesting...


The wacky twists some of you put on this guy are strange though...


I think Faux pax analysis is most reasonable and worthwhile...


I don't buy the implications some of you are making about:  the (ex)wife living in fear or something like that...nor do I buy Gator's very optimistic scenario...because going around europe or Ukraine  actively looking for a wife right now doesn't seem appropriate given there are young kids that should be almost all consuming...at least right now...


some of you guys are just taking cheap shots at the guy now though...he probably isn't THAT bad a guy...maybe just a little desperate for some female company while he still has a sliver of mojo left in the tank...


Yeah those that are complaining about how the children will be ruined...I think that is a little overblown...but definitely needs to be a strong consideration....Faux Pax's lesson about what they will learn is likely true though...for better or worse.


Fathertime! 
I just happened to be browsing about the internet....

Offline missAmeno

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #273 on: December 15, 2013, 11:26:18 AM »
Some comments have been made that perhaps she found someone new. I do not think it is fitting in the story Northkape told us. She wouldn't have been saying that one day she could return. Again if I had to guess I would go with career as one of the things she wanted and therefore some changes to their lives (may be relocating as example). From the way NorthKape described her I picture young ambitious women who wants to achieve something on her own. Baring in mind she stated she doesn't want to re-marry again I think she was hoping Northkape could make the changes she wanted and there is still feelings involved. Her driving 100km forth and back indicates that it is harder for her to move on with her life than she thought it would. That is the reason I think Northkape should have never involved his wife in seeking new SO.

I am not sure from where started comments about abandoning children. Northkape was clear kids will be with mum on weekends and holidays but due to her work through school weekdays will be with him.
I am not sure either why custody was mentioned. From Northkape comments it is obvious neither of them planning (or even considering) this, they have found amicable solution.

Offline Boethius

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #274 on: December 15, 2013, 11:32:35 AM »
I am not sure from where started comments about abandoning children. Northkape was clear kids will be with mum on weekends and holidays but due to her work through school weekdays will be with him.
I am not sure either why custody was mentioned. From Northkape comments it is obvious neither of them planning (or even considering) this, they have found amicable solution.

Nobody has posted that either parent is abandoning the children.  What has been pointed out is that northkape is considering himself and his needs, while using his 10 year old sons as a justification for finding a new mother, because he believes they need to be a "close family unit".
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

 

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