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Author Topic: Update - 13 years later  (Read 212936 times)

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Online northkape

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #525 on: January 10, 2014, 08:51:53 AM »
Shadow
Why so,, I would consider the first two, to be the best women, doing exactly what I consider to be the smart way to find your one and only.
The third are the largest majority of women, they prefer a man of their own nationality, for a lot of different reason.
Better, in what context,,, ?? I can't actually remember any woman using that word when telling me, that I wasn't the one for her.
But whatever the context, i am fully aware that there are men better than me in all possible ways, wherever the geographical place.
It doesn't matter as long as I find the one I'm looking for. And whatever "worst" she might be for another man, she can still be my "best",,,,, smile

Gator,,, didn't you read, or maybe it wasn't clear enough,, it's the face of lovely Kirhovorad32,,, smile

Dave
They were of course aware that I was in Ukraine before and after. I always told the truth about my stay,
in case they for one reason or another would look at my passport.
And all women I met with had an university degree or better, so they weren't stupid either, but sometimes a little out on the naive side.
I felt very sorry for Zap32, even though I did suspect her to be a little unrealistic from reading her letters.
A very beautiful and honest woman with nothing to hide, but naive in her understanding of Internet dating.
She was so disappointed that her profile now appears to be close to dead, inactive for more than three weeks.
More later about her.


Offline Patagonie

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #526 on: January 10, 2014, 11:28:15 AM »
We saw on forums, especially after 40, some women having a pristine way of dating. I suspect that they are not acquainted also with the web.
It can work, unfortunately against them because they can offer a lot.
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

Offline Shadow

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #527 on: January 10, 2014, 01:42:41 PM »
Shadow
Why so,, I would consider the first two, to be the best women, doing exactly what I consider to be the smart way to find your one and only.
The third are the largest majority of women, they prefer a man of their own nationality, for a lot of different reason.
Better, in what context,,, ?? I can't actually remember any woman using that word when telling me, that I wasn't the one for her.
But whatever the context, i am fully aware that there are men better than me in all possible ways, wherever the geographical place.
It doesn't matter as long as I find the one I'm looking for. And whatever "worst" she might be for another man, she can still be my "best",,,,, smile
NK, the post was a reply in jest, as there are men who expect the women to sit and wait until they arrive. There are unrealistic expectations on both sides, and for both sides the key is to find someone who matches in expectations and character.

In the debates I always mention there is no "best" way, only a most effective one for the person who is searching.
When travel distance is long, meeting more than one candidate is a possibility. However to make it a fair chance for all that you will meet is a challenge not many men can handle, and I include myself among the ones who can not.
Luckily I had a short travel distance making it possible to do a first meeting of 3 days dedicated to a single woman. Short enough not to need backups, long enough to know if we wanted to meet for a longer time.
No it is not a dog. Its really how I look.  ;)

Offline JayH

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #528 on: January 10, 2014, 04:46:25 PM »
NK---is your K32 Amazone  Galya? :D
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline ML

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #529 on: January 10, 2014, 06:26:10 PM »
The "worst"women are those who:
* are corresponding with and meeting other men while they are corresponding with you
* do not tell you about it
* tell you the other guy they met was better than you.... and he is RUSSIAN.

I wouldn't agree with this.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Online northkape

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #530 on: January 12, 2014, 03:48:28 AM »
Shadow
I see, and definitely agree about there being no "best way"...
It's for everyone to decide for themselves, what they feel comfortable with, and to accept or not the outcome..... smile

Jay,, if you are asking about her name being Galya,,,, no it's not.

Offline Gator

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #531 on: January 12, 2014, 08:28:38 AM »






Quote
  The "worst"women are those who:
* are corresponding with and meeting other men while they are corresponding with you
* do not tell you about it
* tell you the other guy they met was better than you.... and he is RUSSIAN.

I wouldn't agree with this.


ML,

Shadow examined your criteria for what you described as the "best women" and took the completely opposite view.  By deduction these contrarian criteria would define the "worst women."

Maybe Shadow is having a little fun and making a point without belaboring the explanation.

Anyway, I  believe its best to not date women who make an issue about a man traveling 7000 miles and possibly meeting other women.  I took it as a sign of a desperate woman,  a woman with no dating life, or a woman with some issues (e. g. controlling, highly emotional, no self-esteem, etc.). 

IMO most of the better women were not staying home alone before a Western man got on a plane to meet her.

Offline missAmeno

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #532 on: January 12, 2014, 12:20:27 PM »
Anyway, I  believe its best to not date women who make an issue about a man traveling 7000 miles and possibly meeting other women.  I took it as a sign of a desperate woman,  a woman with no dating life, or a woman with some issues (e. g. controlling, highly emotional, no self-esteem, etc.). 

IMO most of the better women were not staying home alone before a Western man got on a plane to meet her.

Why straight away think women have issues and not to consider those women believe guys who travel to meet many women have issues? Which actually closer to the way they look on the matter. Of course those women are not staying at home alone without any kind of personal life. And of course they know guys do not stay at home alone either. It is one thing to meet someone special and decide to go meet that particular person even if that person is abroad and other thing to think guy in order to meet women have to go abroad therefore has some issues with meeting women locally.  8)

Offline Gator

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #533 on: January 12, 2014, 02:47:52 PM »
Why straight away think women have issues and not to consider those women believe guys who travel to meet many women have issues? Which actually closer to the way they look on the matter.

Who has the most issues, men or women?   I would agree with you that not a small number of men contacting FSUW seem to have issues.   I have no data other than the number of comments made by RW about some of the strange men they encountered.   

Considering only men who make the trip, I assert the percentage with issues drops significantly.   Yet some weird men still make the trip (as told to me by one agency owner). 

Are the FSUW they meet free of issues?  I met a few RW who seemed to have an issue.  Exactly what was the issue in each case?  I don't know, yet it was strong enough to signal me to "stay away."

Having an issue does not necessarily mean he or she is psychotic.  I use the term "issue" to signify a FSUW who would be difficult to live with (more specifically, to live with me  :D). 



Quote
Of course those women are not staying at home alone without any kind of personal life.


A good looking, intelligent  RW is of course very attractive to RM.

Quote
It is one thing to meet someone special and decide to go meet that particular person even if that person is abroad and other thing to think guy in order to meet women have to go abroad therefore has some issues with meeting women locally.  8)

Yes, entirely too different categories,  a light-year apart.  Begs the question of why would a FSUW meet with a man she believes is so unworthy that he can not get a date with women from his city.    OK, OK!  I will read the exploitation thread again.  :)   

Offline missAmeno

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #534 on: January 12, 2014, 05:51:23 PM »
I am actually quiet intrigued now about what would have been your thoughts, guys, if you would have ended up being put in same position.

So ... you met online woman from different country who informs you she is seeking husband. She for one or another reason doesn't like men from her own country and wants to find husband from your country. She is planning to visit your country shortly and offers you meet for cup of tea to see if there is any chemistry between you two. While she is visiting your country she is planning to do such meetings as with you as with many men as possible in order for her to find the best potential husband. Do you meet her or not? Will you think she could be the one for you or you would wonder why on earth she needs to get on the plane to have a cup of tea with random guys? Would your mind do not play with idea she has some issues otherwise she would not have trouble to date in her own country?

 :devil:  :devil:  :devil:

Offline jone

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #535 on: January 12, 2014, 06:35:27 PM »
missA,

I personally agree with you.  I have never been much of a WMVM type guy.  But, to each their own.

If I knew that a woman was gonna meet with a whole bunch of guys, I'd wonder what diseases she carries.

And I will say this:  I still wonder what types of problems women might have that want to meet with me in the first place.  Are they desperate or what?  I mean, if you've seen my mug, there are some much better looking guys out there.  Why can't she land one of them?  Why does she have to settle for me?

(Believe it or not, I actually have these thoughts.)
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline Gator

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #536 on: January 12, 2014, 06:39:22 PM »
I am actually quiet intrigued now about what would have been your thoughts, guys, if you would have ended up being put in same position.

This would indeed be odd, far more odd than the issue of the "hunter" becoming the "hunted."  I will speculate.

Personally I would be honored IF the woman were attractive, smart and interesting.  Would I meet her?  Hell yes!  Even if I knew she had many other men to meet.   

Now the critical issue.  Let's assume I like her based on the meeting.  There is some chemistry, YET not enough for her to cancel the planned meetings with other men and spend more time with me.  If so, I would then wish her well and go on with my life, not expecting her to call again. 

Would I be offended?  No.    I probably would send her a brief email after one month, saying I was thinking of her and asking if she was planning to return to America soon.

Offline Misha

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #537 on: January 12, 2014, 06:45:44 PM »
So ... you met online woman from different country who informs you she is seeking husband. She for one or another reason doesn't like men from her own country and wants to find husband from your country. She is planning to visit your country shortly and offers you meet for cup of tea to see if there is any chemistry between you two. While she is visiting your country she is planning to do such meetings as with you as with many men as possible in order for her to find the best potential husband. Do you meet her or not?


If I were single, why wouldn't I meet with her?


I would have nothing to lose. Just as long as she does not ask me for money before meeting, then I would not refuse a chance to meet with her. What is the worst that could happen?!? A boring date? Not really a big loss in the greater scheme of things and at the very least I might have a nice conversation and learn something new about her country.


Thus, given that there would be close to zero cost, and the risks would be insignificant, I would meet with her in a heartbeat even if she were planning to meet dozens of men. 

Offline missAmeno

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #538 on: January 12, 2014, 06:48:01 PM »
And if there is some chemistry but she wishes to proceed with her meetings schedule as planned just in case she meets better candidate. Also in meantime she wishes to keep contact (you know in case there is no better option). 

Offline Gator

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #539 on: January 12, 2014, 06:56:44 PM »
And if there is some chemistry but she wishes to proceed with her meetings schedule as planned just in case she meets better candidate. Also in meantime she wishes to keep contact (you know in case there is no better option).

Great.  Meanwhile,  I am not cancelling Saturday's date with a divorcee from my bank.  And if she suggests a future meeting date that conflicts with a planned golf trip to Ireland, I still go golfing. 

The only aspect that gives me cause MissAmeno is the fact she is evaluating everyone as a husband rather than dating, having fun,  and seeing what develops.  That is what is weird (and risky IMO) about the truncated MOB dating process.

Offline missAmeno

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #540 on: January 12, 2014, 06:57:44 PM »
Gator/Mish, you both commented only that you would meet but said nothing if you would question (even if at least in your mind) why she has to travel so far for dating. Good looking woman without issues should not have a trouble finding someone locally and here you are meeting good looking girl who instead of dating locally setting up number of dates abroad. Your mind will just blank out that fact? 

Offline Gator

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #541 on: January 12, 2014, 06:59:32 PM »
Gator/Mish, you both commented only that you would meet but said nothing if you would question (even if at least in your mind) why she has to travel so far for dating. Good looking woman without issues should not have a trouble finding someone locally and here you are meeting good looking girl who instead of dating locally setting up number of dates abroad. Your mind will just blank out that fact?

No!  It certainly would be a point of discussion sometime at our meeting.  I would not phrase it as "There must be something wrong with you."   I would try to be subtle.

Offline missAmeno

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #542 on: January 12, 2014, 07:04:03 PM »

The only aspect that gives me cause MissAmeno is the fact she is evaluating everyone as a husband rather than dating, having fun,  and seeing what develops. 

Gator  :blowkiss:

I never understood 'I am looking for wife/husband'. In my mind you meet someone first, then build relationship to the point when you want to spend the rest of your life with that person and only then think about marriage. When I found these forums I was shocked there are people who decide to marry first and only then start to search whom they should marry.  This concept for me is backwards from what I see as natural process.

Offline missAmeno

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #543 on: January 12, 2014, 07:11:21 PM »
No!  It certainly would be a point of discussion sometime at our meeting.  I would not phrase it as "There must be something wrong with you."   I would try to be subtle.

Even if you do not say to her anything at all about it, it is something that you will think about and try to understand the reasons behind her actions.

Same with FSUW when guys offer them meeting for cup of tea while they are in the country to meet as many women as possible. Some FSUW will agree to meet and ask more questions, some will decide it is waste of time because more likely something is wrong with a guy in a first place.

Offline missAmeno

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #544 on: January 12, 2014, 07:19:06 PM »
missA,
I mean, if you've seen my mug, there are some much better looking guys out there.  Why can't she land one of them?  Why does she have to settle for me?

Jone, I did see your mug  :P

Women do not form opinion about men just by their mugs.

Offline jone

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #545 on: January 12, 2014, 07:21:46 PM »
Oh, for gosh sake.

We live in a time where we refuse to be called a number.  If a woman wants to buy me dinner and is coming all the way from the FSU to take me out, sure I'd say yes.  But the reality is, that if I knew she was meeting many other men, I wouldn't put any stock in it. 

Anyone who claims the opposite is not being real.

Now if she said:  I have other obligations to meet with men I've contacted but I am no longer interested, then you have a meeting and chemistry AND action on the part of the woman.  But the OP in this thread had made meeting many women (and sleeping with some) a journey to many kingdoms.   ::)

missA made a point and I don't think people are getting it.  I did from the first time she brought it up.  And the correlation to this thread is EVIDENT.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline Gator

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #546 on: January 12, 2014, 07:22:54 PM »
Gator  :blowkiss:

I never understood 'I am looking for wife/husband'. In my mind you meet someone first, then build relationship to the point when you want to spend the rest of your life with that person and only then think about marriage. When I found these forums I was shocked there are people who decide to marry first and only then start to search whom they should marry.  This concept for me is backwards from what I see as natural process.

You got it.  However, not everyone has the time and money for multiple trips.  So what to do?  Forget about that beautiful, intriguing  woman or take a chance. 

It can work if there is some magic in the beginning and both are committed, patient, and flexible.  Also important, having aligned sense of humor, goals and values.     

Gosh, that's a lot.  I don't know if I have ever had all of those qualities in any relationship.   Certainly not all the time.  That reminds me - also important conflict resolution skills  :D.

My wife and I lack a couple of these ideal qualities.  However, we are working on our differences.  Plus, I have never been loved so passionately and deeply in my life, and that goes a long way, a very long way.

Offline Gator

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #547 on: January 12, 2014, 07:26:21 PM »
But the OP in this thread had made meeting many women (and sleeping with some) a journey to many kingdoms.   ::)

Sleeping with some or one?  Northkape is discrete about sex and what little he has revealed suggests very little sex.

And if he had sex with more than one woman, so what.  He is a grownup as are the women he meets.  Sex is wonderful with the right person at the right time. 

Offline fathertime

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #548 on: January 12, 2014, 07:27:21 PM »
I am actually quiet intrigued now about what would have been your thoughts, guys, if you would have ended up being put in same position.

So ... you met online woman from different country who informs you she is seeking husband. She for one or another reason doesn't like men from her own country and wants to find husband from your country. She is planning to visit your country shortly and offers you meet for cup of tea to see if there is any chemistry between you two. While she is visiting your country she is planning to do such meetings as with you as with many men as possible in order for her to find the best potential husband. Do you meet her or not? Will you think she could be the one for you or you would wonder why on earth she needs to get on the plane to have a cup of tea with random guys? Would your mind do not play with idea she has some issues otherwise she would not have trouble to date in her own country?

 >:D >:D >:D


Within this scenario, it would appear 'I' would have been on a 'singles' relationship website probably an international one .. If that is the case, and a woman decided she wanted to meet with me...yes I would meet her if she were attractive and appeared to be normal...  Could she be the one for 'me'?  Perhaps, it would depend on how our time together went....   As far as assuming somebody has issues...I wouldn't make that assumption, if she were to write something weird or she gave me that impression during our time together then I probably make a judgement


... If she doesn't like men in her own country, that in itself would not be a problem for me...but I would try to ascertain what it was that left her feeling that way and decide if I am pretty much the same thing she doesn't like...   


Bottom line if a beautiful young woman wanted to meet me while single...I'd almost certainly do so just to see where it went. 


Fathertime!
I just happened to be browsing about the internet....

Offline Gator

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #549 on: January 12, 2014, 07:29:45 PM »



... If she doesn't like men in her own country, that in itself would not be a problem for me...but I would try to ascertain what it was that left her feeling that way and decide if I am pretty much the same thing she doesn't like...   


Good answer!

 

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