Are most girls parents/ family aware and supportive of the idea?

[YoungBuck]

How did the family react to you wanting to marry a foreign man and what perception did they have of such men? Are family members generally supportive or will it be a source of conflict?
How did your family-in-law treat you?

[Muzh]

Can't help you there. I was marrying a foreign woman.

Now, everything being equal, they received me well and when we married I became part of the family. Were they concerned for their daughter? Is the pope catholic?

[Faux Pas]

YB
There is no collective reaction to AM because the family folks are from the FSU. Not any different than they would be if the woman is from your country. Reactions differ just like they would at home. My first visit I was treated very well but, like a guest/visitor which many Russians welcome with open arms up to a point. Treating guests very well is a point of pride for many people in the region. Inviting or hoping you join the family is another matter of itself. That gets even more individualized as they become to know you which most will not from just one visit.

My MIL while very welcoming wasn't overly warm my first several visits. She knew there was a chance I'd be taking her daughter away and she wasn't warm to that idea at all. Could you blame her? Eventually she warmed to me and now 5-6 years later, one would do well not to say anything bad about her American SIL within her earshot. Be yourself, some people won't like you, some people will.

[Larry1]

With my first FSUW girlfriend her father was leery but her mother was not.  Her father was a Red Army paratrooper who had fought in Afghanistan.  Her mother was warm, vivacious, funny, charming, and welcoming.  Also extremely pretty.  It was easy to see where my girlfriend got her looks.  And nice to see they would likely be with her for decades to come.

[BillyB]

Are family members generally supportive or will it be a source of conflict?
How did your family in law treat you?

A lot of the answers you seek depend on YOU. My MIL was a very good host to me. She confessed later if I were not a suitable or good man to her daughter, she would not make my stay as enjoyable and do everything she could to influence her daughter not to marry me. Because I was a gentleman with excellent manners,and exhibited high intelligence during my visit, MIL thought I would make a good husband and father to children.


MIL preferred her daughter to marry closer to home no further than Western Europe. She also preferred her daughter to marry a man 7 years older. Not too young but not as old as I but MIL also knows it's hard to dispute what the heart feels and she understood her daughter. MIL confessed to me in her younger days that she was once in love with a man 20 years her senior. I'm not shocked. I think most of us in our younger days had a crush on someone much older such as a teacher.


Youngbuck you probably heard about the negatives things in the media and you're worried what people around you are going to think if you get into a relationship with a foreign woman. You are concerned what a lady's side of the family is going to think of you too. If you make a bad decision, you're going to look like you don't know what you're doing and have a lot of people say "I told you so". If you are a good choice as a man and you make a good choice in a woman, don't worry, you're going to look smart and you will gain the respect from those you want acceptance.

[Muzh]

A lot of the answers you seek depend on YOU. My MIL was a very good host to me. She confessed later if I were not a suitable or good man to her daughter, she would not make my stay as enjoyable and do everything she could to influence her daughter not to marry me. Because I was a gentleman with excellent manners,and exhibited high intelligence during my visit, MIL thought I would make a good husband and father to children.


MIL preferred her daughter to marry closer to home no further than Western Europe. She also preferred her daughter to marry a man 7 years older. Not too young but not as old as I but MIL also knows it's hard to dispute what the heart feels and she understood her daughter. MIL confessed to me in her younger days that she was once in love with a man 20 years her senior. I'm not shocked. I think most of us in our younger days had a crush on someone much older such as a teacher.

I see.

That is why she taught you Sex 101: Introduction on how to play with your plums.

[BillyB]

That is why she taught you Sex 101:

Don't ridicule sex talk. I've talked with many ladies about sex and they don't giggle and ridicule it. Sex may not be important to you if you're a sexual dud but for most people sex is an important part of a relationship. I'm going to talk to my kids about the importance of sex before they marry. If two people are far apart on the frequency of sex, one or both will suffer and so does the relationship.

[Misha]

My wife's mother was in shock, her colleagues at work warned her about sex slavery and her uncles pretty much interrogated me as they did not believe that I was who I said I was and told my now mother-in-law that she should not let her daughter go overseas to get married    Fortunately, my wife is the kind of woman who does not listen to others and makes her own decisions 

[Muzh]

Don't ridicule sex talk. I've talked with many ladies about sex and they don't giggle and ridicule it. Sex may not be important to you if you're a sexual dud but for most people sex is an important part of a relationship. I'm going to talk to my kids about the importance of sex before they marry. If two people are far apart on the frequency of sex, one or both will suffer and so does the relationship.

LMFAO
 
I mean tears coming out my eyes laughing.
 
I was not ridiculing sex.
 
That went Mach 2 over your head.

[alex330]

Neither side of our families were supportive at first. My mother and sister were worried she was going to use me for a green card or drain the bank account. My grandmother told me you cannot trust Russians. My brothers all told me I was crazy and could get any girl I wanted here in the US, why the hell was I looking overseas. All my friends thought I had gone nuts and told me to watch out.

Her family was worried I was some strange American trying to take advantage of her and take her away.
Her mother did not initially like me for unknown reasons. She did not tell her father how old I was until after we met so he would not have any preconceived notions.

After all the worrying and meetings everybody realized there was no reason for it. My brothers and my friends are interested in FSUW women now and my mother loves my wife. Her mother sees how much we are in love and how we take care of each other and is happy. After some shots of vodka I am ok in her fathers eyes. If I am good enough for her I am good enough for him he says.

[Vasilisa]

Which reminded me of:

[knighta]

Which reminded me of:

Could you or someone else translate please?  Thanks.

[Misha]

"Dad, when they come to ask for my hand [in marriage]
don't fall to your knees, don't say:
"You are our savior"
but [rather] quietly nod your head.

[YoungBuck]

"Dad, when they come to ask for my hand [in marriage]
don't fall to your knees, don't say:
"You are our savior"
but [rather] quietly nod your head.

Tell me it's a joke. I don't think any dad is happy to rely on another man in order to take care of his family. At least not my dad, and not me.

I would much rather have him say, "good luck buddy, you'll need it  ".

[Keyser Soze]

Well....I'm not married yet, but whanted to add my $.02 anyway.
Her the parents weren't wild about the idea at first, but over time warmed up to it quite a bit. She lives with them, and after a while her mother saw how her daughter feels about me and made some sort of "letting a bird fly free, and letting her go" comment, I forget what it was, but you know what I mean. They have seen her so unhappy for so long.....until I came into her life. Now I am in like Flynn so to speak, and they are happy for us.
Maybe they just want her the hell out of their house? :-p
Her brother and SIL were cautiously optimistic from the start. Her SIL is pretty much her best friend. They are all for it now as well.
My Ukrayinska also has a former classmate that married a WM, well, someone from Northern Europe I believe, that she has talked to quite a bit about everything and is very supportive.
 
My few close friends have been great because they know this is what I always wanted and are happy for me and supportive. My best buddy is close to jealous, and keeps asking me if she has any single friends. He keeps telling her she's too good for me too.
My not so close friends and what family I have haven't been all that great. Smart assed comments about me ending up dead in a ditch with the Russian Mafia and the like. Other than that, just concerned about me getting taken for a ride as that is ALL we hear about over here. They hear the EXACT opposite over there how WM sell them into sex slavery and turn them into domestic slaves for their man and whatnot. Really the opposite of what we hear. Surprisingly so.
The more time that goes by, the less anyone worries though.
What's real is real. People see that.

[Daveman]

Just bumping this back up there... it's an excellent topic but not much female input.  Perhaps they just don't want to admit exactly how MUCH their family hates their husbands/boyfriends???   


My wife's friends all supported her and, according to her, they all like me.  We all have a blast together when I'm there.  I stayed with one of her friends and her family (friend, friend's mom, friend's daughter, and cat) while I was Battling for Final Documents in Kiev. Wife's friend liked me a lot. Daughter really liked me.  Friend's mom liked me the most of all of them, apparently. Her friend told me "Mama said you are the best of the best".  That was rather touching and especially so considering the cat was completely indifferent.


Wife's family, however, was a very different story. They are from Zakapartia (transcarpathia). Dad was pretty pissed off that she was involved with a foreigner, and an older one to boot (11 year age difference).  Mom was glad she was finally settling down but was paranoid that I may be, or at least be related to, the devil himself (only very, very, very slightly exaggerated).  Brother thought it was a passing personal fad and had little interest.  This attitude was present pretty much up until I met them just about two years after we first began dating - everyone but Dad that is - who unfortunately passed away just a month prior to our zags/rags wedding in Donetsk.  His wake (not sure what they call it  - that 40 day period between death and final departure of spirit) was concluding as we arrived.  We had the final departure ceremony and then two days later everyone was back again for our wedding celebration which could not happen during that 40 days.  Everyone there liked me immediately, except for one skeptical aunt (Dad's sister, of course), and I really liked them too, even the skeptical aunt.  Her brother and I really got along well and her mom followed me around stuffing food in my mouth at every opportunity (I had to be very careful, a simple yawn would manifest a home grown chicken leg in the mouth).  After two days of narrow eyed staring at me the skeptical aunt even came around and since we couldn't really communicate much at all, she just kept hugging me and making "rock the baby" motions with her arms.


The keys to getting along, I think anyway, are just to treat everyone with honest respect and to get involved with them beyond "ochin priyatna".  Roll up your sleeves and twist off that chicken head... okay, maybe not that involved, but at least do a shot or 37 with the men, and give your best shot, pun obviously intended, communicating with everyone -- the understanding of the latter becomes much easier with the former anyway...


Admittedly though, my wife's take on her family/friends opinions could differ somewhat..    but no one can deny those friendly toasts they made to me "za durak!".. I'll never forget the way they laughed and had such a blast with each one...

[Chicagoguy]

I do not know what was going on at her home because we married before I met them. But on my first visit  2 years after marriage they were all loving. Mother had died some years before but father, 3 sisters and her 28 year old daughter were all happy. Most likely because they saw how happy she was. It was her first marriage at age 53. She couldn't stand Russian men.
My wife of 35 years died 2 years before we married. I had three grown daughters and were not delighted. Finally one said "I think I should meet  her before I form an opinion". Last Christmas she told me " I can't imagine our family without her". Sometimes I think they like her more than me .
My previous wife was the oldest of 11. When my new wife had been here  3 months the next oldest - a brother -  upon first seeing her walked up and put his arm around her and said "welcome to the family". Total acceptance by last wife's whole family.
Nobody anywhere has ever said anything to me about Russian wife and I suspect it is the same with her family and friends. I am going back this Sat. and father is anxious for my arrival.

[Aloe]

My parents were very happy with the general concept of finding a foreign man, cuz RM suck in their opinion.    My mom liked my hubby cuz hes pretty, so she assumed all the great qualities in him by default, without much talking. She just keeps rubbing her hands expecting pretty babies.
My hubby's family was happy to get hubby out of the house finally, i guess    His mom later confessed she thought he'd live with herforever! My hubby's grandma kept thinking im Thai because we met in Thailand for our first meeting, and kept warning hubby about those pesky thai girls 

[Lily]

Tell me it's a joke. I don't think any dad is happy to rely on another man in order to take care of his family. At least not my dad, and not me.

I would much rather have him say, "good luck buddy, you'll need it  ".

It looks like you did not got the meaning of the situation that was translated for you.
 
The idea is that the parents have a hard time to get their daughter married, therefore they still have a burden to feed, dress, entertain, in other words, to be responsible for the welfare of their daughter. Rather the opposite is the case here: someone just came and declared that from this day on, he is going to take care of his daughter. Dad is obviously tired of this responsibility He understand that from some point of life, women should not be relying on fathers but rather on their husbands. The problem was that the girl was single for too long. Why should he not be glad that someone will take care of his child instead of him?
 
Also, I don't think why Dad should believe that he wannabe husband needs some good luck. The girl is the story might be a good wife who will stand by her husband.

[mies]

Which reminded me of:

 

[GQBlues]

IMO:  'Aware' - more than likely. 'Supportive' - less likely.
 
My personal experience with wifey: Apparently the entire clan knew. Her sisters at the time were both married already and were living in Canada & Germany already although not via MOB. My wife, being the youngest of the three, decided to try her fate through the MOB and signed up with elenasmodels.She was very reluctant since she never really dreamed, much less thought, of ever leaving Russ.
 
When the suitors started piling in, she shared pics/emails with the clan and they pretty much 'voted' who they thought would be a great match for her.     It was a landslide    My biggest supporter was FIL, both her sisters, and ultimately won Mumski over. Mumski wasn't too comfy with the idea that I was one of the farthest suitor from Novo. Of course wifey was the ultimate decider, and fortunately for me she was already charmed by the time she got the general consensus from everyone else.
 
It is pretty humbling to see the 'others' (competitors) though...

[Zmejka]

My parents weren't supportive at all when i told them that i'm corresponding with a foreigner and he's going to visit me. It was the toughest time for me, we argued about his coming, my mother had all sorts of doubts - about him (why is he coming? why can't he find someone local? he's too young (24), may be he's sick, a spy', wants to play with you, whatever came to her mind then), about me (you have your crazy idea's, you make him spend his money for the travel for nothing). My father gave us 99% of failing. When he came he was greeted warm by my parents - it's like it was said above one can have any attitude but welcoming a guest is saint. My mother poured hondreds of questions on his head, in the end she said to me - he seems like a good boy. Now, 7 years later, while visiting they talk, laugh, my mother is defending him sometimes more, than me.
The family of my boyfriend knew he had interests in the girls from outside, before me he visited a girl in Russia, but with no continue. So they accepted this perspective - i heard only about then girlfriend of his brother was a bit suspicious that i'm for his passport etc. They welcomed me and i had never problems with them though we are not too close.