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[Misha]

Well that is a rather nasty thing to say at the end there...Thanks Misha for the translation. 

I agree, and I did suggest that such things are best not posted on an open forum    Oh well, I presume that nobody expected that I could translate it.

[fathertime]

I have an extra question: Does the Columbian have her GC yet? Citizenship?

A college degree/ god job/professional qualifications/own business?

Ha! 


You gals sure have a lot of questions!  I usually share information as it comes up in conversation.  Given what you said earlier in this thread about my wife and what you are hoping for in our relationship, I don't feel like sharing with you gals would be worthwhile at this time.  If you are unable to handle a differing opinion without making nasty comments, then we will be unable to communicate effectively, but that doesn't mean we can't try!


Fathertime! 

[Ranetka]

Well that is a rather nasty thing to say at the end there...Thanks Misha for the translation. 


Yes I agree that I wanted a younger and beautiful wife, and I highly preferred she not have children of her own.  I'm entitled to choose!    We have had children of our own as well. 


It appears that these ladies took offense to me expressing truthfully what I wanted and perhaps the fact that i got it!   Heck I was barely 40 when I met my 23 year old wife, I still had lots of options.   


We went quad running today close to Calmissile's house, not a motorcycle, but close enough!  I hope none of this is considered offensive.  I'm curious why the post they referred to on the other thread was considered so offensive?  I think it is not abnormal for men to go for younger attractive women..within reason. 


Fathertime!

You could say she has a fantastic personality, you understand each other without words, you could chat for ages, her family is in love with her....you had many options...you only thought about prettiest ass you can get, if you you thought of anything else you never mentioned it so likely you did not care. Most men think of 100s different things when choosing a partner, i can see in my circle of acquaintances....only mob-ers go for the youngest ass they can get ....regardless of what is connected to the ass...

[Ranetka]

I agree, and I did suggest that such things are best not posted on an open forum    Oh well, I presume that nobody expected that I could translate it.

Nah, you just like a bit of shit steering, and why not.

[Ranetka]

Ha! 


You gals sure have a lot of questions!  I usually share information as it comes up in conversation.  Given what you said earlier in this thread about my wife and what you are hoping for in our relationship, I don't feel like sharing with you gals would be worthwhile at this time.  If you are unable to handle a differing opinion without making nasty comments, then we will be unable to communicate effectively, but that doesn't mean we can't try!


Fathertime!

Seems like no then.

[fathertime]

You could say she has a fantastic personality, you understand each other without words, you could chat for ages, her family is in love with her....you had many options...you only thought about prettiest ass you can get, if you you thought of anything else you never mentioned it so likely you did not care. Most men think of 100s different things when choosing a partner, i can see in my circle of acquaintances....only mob-ers go for the youngest ass they can get ....regardless of what is connected to the ass...

Well this is interesting, at least in my case I could have gone quite a bit younger if I chose to, but 23 was plenty young. 


As far as the choice process went...I dated the prettiest women I could, and among those ladies i found one that i felt I clicked with on a few levels, such as humor/and life's goals.


As far as 'chatting for ages'...I don't think that was that big a priority FOR ME.  If I wanted a woman that I could 'chat for ages' with, I could have found a lady my own age here in America...I could have easily settled for a life of sitting on the porch and drinking beer, but I wanted something different, in addition to some additional adventure.  Nobody has been harmed, in fact lives have been improved and created.   






All that being said, although I might disagree with how you decided to choose your husbands, I wouldn't make a statement such as 'I hope her husband shows her what great misfortune is".  That shows some real hostility, and you have taken my earlier statements personally... 


Fathertime!

[Ranetka]

I did not make a statement of wishing your marriage ill. I chose to reply to your question of what's offensive in your comment.

[fathertime]

I did not make a statement of wishing your marriage ill. I chose to reply to your question of what's offensive in your comment.

 Well going by Misha's translation obviously something was pretty nasty was said...maybe it was the other lady.


I'm still not seeing what was offensive about the point of view I gave earlier, which was genuinely my viewpoint and perhaps the viewpoint of a few others. 


I'm open to hearing where we differ, because from what i'm reading you didn't like that one of my criteria was that I found the most attractive, childless,  woman I could..I think you should understand that men and women are entitled to choose how they feel like choosing, and not according to another person's strict criteria. 

I'm still seeing no reason to 'hope for great marital misfortune'...as was said earlier.

[size=78%]  [/size]


Fathertime!

[jone]

Ranetka,


You'll just be going around in circles. This one poster represents  the typical thinking and "denial" of a typical MOB-er  - "I want as young and beautiful toy as I can possibly get so that I can satisfy my last several years of being sexually active, that's what is best for me. I don't give a damn whether this is best for her, if she comes out of it with anything positive or of I'll ruin her chances for real family in the future. The 20 y.o. made the choice, and everyone else can kiss my ass". This is the mantra in his head and you have no chance of switching this, no matter how many circles you go through 

Once again this woman has absolutely no idea what she is talking about.  She makes opinions as if they were fact.  Ranetka was responding to me.  And you know NOTHING of my opinions except that they stand in stark contrast to your own.

My age is probably close to or even younger than your husband, dear Pitbull (although I am not gonna whip it out for you to compare).  As for my plans:  I plan to have children.  Does that offend you?  As to my choice in age, I would seek out someone close to my own age group, although I could dip quite young in age without robbing the cradle, so to speak.  My romantic notion of love is what you cannot and will not acknowledge.   As for my future plans for my wife's lifestyle?  She will make them.  We'll discuss them.  I will encourage her to have her own pursuits and will hope that she makes good choices.  It would be wrong to exercise control over anyone, most importantly the woman who is the center of your life.  After all, the man may be the head, but the woman is the neck.

I lived in Ukraine this summer.  Funny thing.  I spent much time in the company of a lovely lady of 25.  Her daughter is 9.  She is finishing her degree in psychology.  We were not romantically inclined as her ex husband (she was married at the age of 16) was very involved in her daughter's life.   I could not imagine bringing such a lady to the States and imposing on her daughter's relationship with her father.  But I did ask her:  How long were you married?  "7 years."   Were you in love with him or was it your child that brought you together?  "I was very much in love.  We had a wonderful relationship.  Then he started drinking."  Who can gauge this woman's former happiness?  Certainly not me!

The simple fact is that people fall in love.  It dominates their entire existence.  In most cases it supplants their religion, their employment and their close family.  True love does happen.  It even happens in their second marriage - sometimes their third.  Call me an optimist - maybe a romantic, but I believe in love that can take your breath away.

I would guess you have come to this site to disparage the idea that men and women of all ages can be attracted to each other.  My take is just the opposite.  People can and will fall in love at their own convenience, with their own devices and using different dynamics.  And I wish them well, even while tempest fugit.  We live on this earth for such a short period of time that I don't begrudge any relationship that anyone has.

I have many friends that have years of age between spouses and they live together and are happy.  Of course, where I live, most men are of means and able to readily provide for a wife and family.  That makes things much easier.

Your vinegar in your evaluations only makes me wonder what point of view you come from?  Certainly the glass is not half full from your writings.  Maybe it is in real life, but it doesn't transpose well onto your computer screen.

I think, since you are dispensing such sour advice, without a kernel of encouragement, perhaps you would like to give your utopian image of what love should be like?  And don't spare the mustard.  We'd like to know where we are wrong, and, of course, where we fall short.

[Misha]

 Well going by Misha's translation obviously something was pretty nasty was said...maybe it was the other lady.

It was pitbull who posted the long statement that I translated. The meaning of the saying почём фунт лиха is nicely discussed here: [size=78%]http://dic.academic.ru/dic.nsf/ogegova/177218[/size].

[Ranetka]

It was pitbull who posted the long statement that I translated. The meaning of the saying почём фунт лиха is nicely discussed here: [size=78%]http://dic.academic.ru/dic.nsf/ogegova/177218[/size].

You are slightly missing here because of context. Because this expression is archaic in every day conversation it no longer has all the negative connotation you implied. In this context it's sarcastic.

[Misha]

You are slightly missing here because of context. Because this expression is archaic in every day conversation it no longer has all the negative connotation you implied. In this context it's sarcastic.

Backtracking a bit I see    Even if it is interpreted as simply "sarcastic" it is hardly complimentary either 

[Ranetka]

Backtracking a bit I see    Even if it is interpreted as simply "sarcastic" it is hardly complimentary either 

Of course it's not complementary lol. Backtracking - no, just correcting your translation for the sake of truth .

[Ranetka]

Jone, how old was the child father?

[pitbull]

I agree, and I did suggest that such things are best not posted on an open forum    Oh well, I presume that nobody expected that I could translate it.

Good job translating, Mishenka. Возьми с полки пирожок 


Your next lesson: Study all nuances of meaning of the following phrase: "Показать где раки зимуют" 

[fathertime]

 It appears to me that there is a small group of FSU gals who are rather uncomplimentary and judgmental of many men on this site.  It actually comes across as bitterness.  A person is free to choose his/her spouse in the manner he wishes, within the law. I would speculate that the perspective coming from this small group of women is coming from an inner fear that they might be next to lose what they have to a 'pretty young thing', although I can already hear the fierce denials. Knowing that this where they are coming from may help in discounting or having empathy with their POV.   The ladies that appear most secure in their relationships, usually offer their opinions, sometimes dissenting in a way that doesn't attempt to injure or insult the recipient. From all my readings in various venues, western men (among others) often travel abroad and try to woo a pretty young darlings...that has been happening shortly after the days of Colombus!  It shouldn't upset ladies, if they are truly secure...although it must be acknowledged that it isn't entirely fair to the ladies...but very little is fair the world around..and then life ends.


 Fathertime!

[Faux Pas]

Really, we're not coming back to the same circles even though I feel like I am repeating myself. However, I'll breakdown this post just for the sake of clarity so you'll hopefully understand my point.

We're coming back to the same point i made earlier. A woman kn her early 20s we are talking 18 - 25 knows little about  it really unless she has a habit of dating/cohabiting with daddies.

Again, one size does not fit all. You and pit can claim to speak for all FSUW but, you don't. Even though I agree with you in general terms concerning age gap. The fact of the matter is, people do fall in love despite what you  or I think they should be doing or not doing. 18-25 year old women do fall in love with 40-50 year olds and even older men. How much they are prepared or not for it is not for either you or I to decide. That is their choice. I don't agree with it for me but, my decisions do not have any bearing on their life.

Renetka, you've always struck me as an intelligent well read woman on these boards. You made a choice marrying your Brit and you have dealt with the consequences of that choice. Do you now claim ignorance in making that choice or, did you marry for all the wrong reasons or an escape? Were you ever in love? No answer is needed as the question, it's academic

Man, on the other hand in his mid years should have a bit more life experience, a bit more understanding of people , a bit more powerful personality then her. So he is the party most responsible for the outcome. He should realize young girl might want kids in future, she likely never been in love properly etc etc......guys seriously its very egotistical from a man not to think about it

Not as much as you want to think. Men and women are hard wired completely different, no matter the nationality. Sure some men in this pursuit have nothing but nefarious intentions of finding the youngest, hottest sex machine they can find. They are out there. There is also the green card seeking gold diggers out there, too and, both come in all ages. To read a few threads on a forum and deem, this marriage or that marriage was a failure and the woman wasted her youth as a result, she has no value because she married an older foreigner is basically bullshit. If you can't see that, perhaps I've given you too much credit?

[Faux Pas]

Once again this woman has absolutely no idea what she is talking about.  She makes opinions as if they were fact.  Ranetka was responding to me.  And you know NOTHING of my opinions except that they stand in stark contrast to your own.

My age is probably close to or even younger than your husband, dear Pitbull (although I am not gonna whip it out for you to compare).  As for my plans:  I plan to have children.  Does that offend you?  As to my choice in age, I would seek out someone close to my own age group, although I could dip quite young in age without robbing the cradle, so to speak.  My romantic notion of love is what you cannot and will not acknowledge.   As for my future plans for my wife's lifestyle?  She will make them.  We'll discuss them.  I will encourage her to have her own pursuits and will hope that she makes good choices.  It would be wrong to exercise control over anyone, most importantly the woman who is the center of your life.  After all, the man may be the head, but the woman is the neck.

I lived in Ukraine this summer.  Funny thing.  I spent much time in the company of a lovely lady of 25.  Her daughter is 9.  She is finishing her degree in psychology.  We were not romantically inclined as her ex husband (she was married at the age of 16) was very involved in her daughter's life.   I could not imagine bringing such a lady to the States and imposing on her daughter's relationship with her father.  But I did ask her:  How long were you married?  "7 years."   Were you in love with him or was it your child that brought you together?  "I was very much in love.  We had a wonderful relationship.  Then he started drinking."  Who can gauge this woman's former happiness?  Certainly not me!

The simple fact is that people fall in love.  It dominates their entire existence.  In most cases it supplants their religion, their employment and their close family.  True love does happen.  It even happens in their second marriage - sometimes their third.  Call me an optimist - maybe a romantic, but I believe in love that can take your breath away.

I would guess you have come to this site to disparage the idea that men and women of all ages can be attracted to each other.  My take is just the opposite.  People can and will fall in love at their own convenience, with their own devices and using different dynamics.  And I wish them well, even while tempest fugit.  We live on this earth for such a short period of time that I don't begrudge any relationship that anyone has.

I have many friends that have years of age between spouses and they live together and are happy.  Of course, where I live, most men are of means and able to readily provide for a wife and family.  That makes things much easier.

Your vinegar in your evaluations only makes me wonder what point of view you come from?  Certainly the glass is not half full from your writings.  Maybe it is in real life, but it doesn't transpose well onto your computer screen.

I think, since you are dispensing such sour advice, without a kernel of encouragement, perhaps you would like to give your utopian image of what love should be like?  And don't spare the mustard.  We'd like to know where we are wrong, and, of course, where we fall short.

Well stated there jone. Good post

[Misha]

Good job translating, Mishenka. Возьми с полки пирожок 


Your next lesson: Study all nuances of meaning of the following phrase: "Показать где раки зимуют" 

Certainly an interesting folk saying based on the hardships, and occasional death, associated with the fishing for crayfish in the winter. So who exactly do you believe should be punished or taught a lesson?


Source: [size=78%]http://sueverija.narod.ru/Pogovorki/Pogovorki_006.htm[/size]

[Ranetka]

Re my marriage. I was 32 for crissake....not 19.

I see your reasoning but can not see how it negate my point.

[Ranetka]

To read a few threads on a forum and deem, this marriage or that marriage was a failure and the woman wasted her youth as a result, she has no value because she married an older foreigner is basically bullshit. If you can't see that, perhaps I've given you too much credit?

I base my opinion on what i read on forum. Have i had a crystal ball it would have been different. All may be wrong...you give me credit based on what i write, you may be wrong too.

[Turboguy]

There are some assumptions the ladies are making that I don't agree wholly with.


One key assumption is that when a 21 year of woman marries a 45 year old foreign man that she is giving up her most valuable childbearing years.  Aside from the fact that she is making that choice of her own free will, just as he is, my guess is that most 45 year old men marrying a young women don't expect her to give up her chances of motherhood.   Most hope they will have a family together.  I have seen many, many RWD couples over the years that married a younger woman and they had kids.  I can actually think of only two who married a younger woman with the intention of NOT having kids.  I am not saying it is ideal for a guy who marries at 45 to want kids but it happens a lot.   


Back in the stone ages when I was getting married for the first time women would graduate from High School at 18 and their goal was to marry, have kids and be a housewife.  Most married in the 18-21 year age range.  My first wife was 19 when we married.  From what I understand people now are waiting longer to marry and most marry in their late 20's.   So, if that is the case is there that much difference if a 19-21 year old woman marries on old codger of 40-45, divorces after 5-10 years and looks for a father for her kids.  She is still about the same age as that at which American women marry these days.   Lots of women have children in their late 30's and early 40's.  There isn't any reason she could not find a new man and have kids before 35.  There also seem to be lots of women these days who when they decide to have kids don't seem to worry that much about if they are married or not and are happy to have some dude be a sperm donor.


It is a nice goal to save the world.  Young people make lots of bad decisions.  They decide to try drugs and end up hooked and ruin their life.  They decide to drive drunk and kill someone.  They decide to have unprotected sex with someone and end up with aids or pregnant.  Most women who marry some old codger do so of their own free will.  They don't want to be saved.  There are worse choices they could make.  We all make bad choices and must either resolve the issue or live with the choices we make.  It is all part of being human. 

[Faux Pas]

Re my marriage. I was 32 for crissake....not 19.

I see your reasoning but can not see how it negate my point.

Ah, I see. So your years of value had already eclipsed? How did you compensate your old codger for the difference 

Again, I'll stress my point; the 20's are the most valuable if you're living them. If your living the 40's then, they are. People (women) make choices in their 20's that they live to regret. Some choices they don't. It's part and parcel of life. Her 20's are most valuable to her and one would have to expect she made the choices that were best for her. It's not the old farts fault she if she chose him. Nor are her "valuable years" more valuable than are his. How valuable years for either of them were, would be determined by the quality of the marriage, wouldn't it?

I base my opinion on what i read on forum. Have i had a crystal ball it would have been different. All may be wrong...you give me credit based on what i write, you may be wrong too.

True, that's what we forum dwellers do, form an opinion based on such little information in a very small snapshot of time. Luckily some of you peeps can tell every mi'nute detail of woman's life and also see well into the future for what's ahead of her with such little information. I am amazed

[northkape]

Misha - Jones - FT - FP - Turbo

Good postings,,

From where could such thoughts about happiness in life ever emanate from, it's not a given, but for everyone to create by their own means.

There is no single winner or loser in a close relationship....
If one is unhappy, the relationship is unhappy, with both parties losing "quality of life"

At the end of a relationship, it can't be rationalized that the one with the most of "whatever" is the winner... at least not of "happiness in life"

And what else do we have to strive for in our shorts lives than the moments of happiness, where we are feeling totally satisfied with all that life has given us.

[Ranetka]

True, that's what we forum dwellers do, form an opinion based on such little information in a very small snapshot of time. Luckily some of you peeps can tell every mi'nute detail of woman's life and also see well into the future for what's ahead of her with such little information. I am amazed

And?