Russian/Ukranian women - views on sex before marriage?

[newjason]

After hearing stories like this one, It makes me begin to wonder if some guys even have a thought process at all ..
All the logic you can shake a stick at is going to do you 1 iota of good when it comes to women.

Let your brain  ...

no never mind that.

 

Just  do what comes naturally, otherwise you are acting out of your character and not being yourself.
At the end of the day, that's all that you can do, just be yourself.

[CDW]

I have known a girl who do not kiss before marriage!!! 

[newjason]

because you married this girl?

[Daveman]

I have known a girl who do not kiss before marriage!!!

... and then you woke up??   

[ML]

On the third date, I explained that I would like to kiss her. 

A kiss is not something you explain about or ask permission.

A kiss is something you do.

Where do you guys come from???   

I only talk about kissing when there is some humor involved.  Like . . .

I want to kiss you, but I can't decide on which lips.
 

[newjason]

I agree ML.

If a kiss is that awkward that a guy needs to ask permission , then
I don't imagine sex will be anything resembling fun   LOL

Life is Supposed to be Fun people!
stop making it so hard for yourself.

[Eduard]

A kiss is not something you explain about or ask permission.

A kiss is something you do.

very true. Less talk more action would work better.

[CDW]

She wasn't my ex-gf or something like that.  We just wrote each other, and I stopped continuing.  It was many years ago.      If a girl does not believe kiss before marriage, then we do not have chemistry!!  So, no point continuing.

   

[jone]

Is that really how a kiss happens?  You don't ask before you kiss the woman?  Oh, my gosh! Where have I been all my life?

For all of you funny guys out there, there are women who don't want to have to get penicillin after being with you on a first date.  These women are simply a little more conservative and need coaxing.  Initial reluctance is not necessarily the indicator of a frigid relationship.  (Did you watch "Friends with Benefits" and the five date rule?)   My observation in creating the aforementioned post is that if it aint happening, and you want it to, it is better to confront the issue and move on. 

Now, I am happy to be with some women just as friends.  The chemistry might be alot stronger if you don't push the intimacy issue immediately.  And sometimes it never happens and then you get to meet her girlfriends.  But, then, if it does develop, there is the basis for a relationship.

But, to each his own (or her own).

-j

[ML]

Is that really how a kiss happens?  You don't ask before you kiss the woman?  Oh, my gosh! Where have I been all my life?

For all of you funny guys out there, there are women who don't want to have to get penicillin after being with you on a first date.  These women are simply a little more conservative and need coaxing.  Initial reluctance is not necessarily the indicator of a frigid relationship.

Exactly correct.  I have never asked before kissing a woman.

But . . . that doesn't mean that I quickly kiss every woman, or that I have even eventually kissed every woman I have been with.

However . . . I have kissed some women within 10-20 minutes of a first meeting.

It is all in the reading of the situation;  how things are progressing,  how much she is smiling, laughing at my silly jokes, sitting ass cheek to cheek rather than at some distance, leaning into me, if she tells me a sexy joke, if she is very forward in her talking.  It can be a million and one things.

But regardless; I never ask.   I have had very few turn to receive kiss on the cheek.

And your penicillin reference is not very valid.  In the absence of open sores or some such; a person can never tell if they might catch something from someone after a kiss.  So even after X + 1 dates, the kiss recipient may or may not need a shot of penicillin.

[Eduard]

Is that really how a kiss happens?  You don't ask before you kiss the woman?  Oh, my gosh! Where have I been all my life?

For all of you funny guys out there, there are women who don't want to have to get penicillin after being with you on a first date.  These women are simply a little more conservative and need coaxing.  Initial reluctance is not necessarily the indicator of a frigid relationship.  (Did you watch "Friends with Benefits" and the five date rule?)   My observation in creating the aforementioned post is that if it aint happening, and you want it to, it is better to confront the issue and move on. 

Now, I am happy to be with some women just as friends.  The chemistry might be alot stronger if you don't push the intimacy issue immediately.  And sometimes it never happens and then you get to meet her girlfriends.  But, then, if it does develop, there is the basis for a relationship.

But, to each his own (or her own).

-j

Jon, I have to admit that I've never asked a woman if it was OK to kiss her either. Somehow I just knew that it was OK by reading a woman's body language and feeling the chemistry. I did get a cheek instead of the lips on one or two occasions, but I got over that!  I'm more of a "go with the flow" guy, not aggressive, but asking a woman if it was OK to kiss her could get very confusing IMO, since many women might say "no" when they actually mean "yes". Such is women's nature 

[jone]

Ed,

You have a pretty good idea of who I am.  If I am asking a woman to kiss her, it is looking into her eyes and with my soul bared.    Have I done this?  Absolutely.  Has it ever failed?  No.  Maybe it's the presentation?

The post previous, that seemed to activate responses was simply the observation that because I had to ask about a woman's intentions I knew it was time to move on.  That seemed to be in line with the ongoing theme of these posts.

I am a one woman, one bride, one wife, type of guy.   I don't kiss many women.  I am neither a speed dater or a player.  And I don't talk about my conquests.  Hopefully I am the type of man that a woman would be proud to introduce to her family.

ML, as far as my penicillin comment, that was simply humor.  My humor might not be what it used to be, but everyone looking over my shoulder laughed.  I'm happy that you can get some women to kiss you after 10-20 minutes.  I don't, particularly agree with this M/O, but if it works for you, congratulations.

Hope you guys all have a great day!

-j

[Eduard]

Ed,

You have a pretty good idea of who I am.  If I am asking a woman to kiss her, it is looking into her eyes and with my soul bared.    Have I done this?  Absolutely.  Has it ever failed?  No.  Maybe it's the presentation?

The post previous, that seemed to activate responses was simply the observation that because I had to ask about a woman's intentions I knew it was time to move on.  That seemed to be in line with the ongoing theme of these posts.

I am a one woman, one bride, one wife, type of guy.   I don't kiss many women.  I am neither a speed dater or a player.  And I don't talk about my conquests.  Hopefully I am the type of man that a woman would be proud to introduce to her family.

ML, as far as my penicillin comment, that was simply humor.  My humor might not be what it used to be, but everyone looking over my shoulder laughed.  I'm happy that you can get some women to kiss you after 10-20 minutes.  I don't, particularly agree with this M/O, but if it works for you, congratulations.

Hope you guys all have a great day!

-j

Jon, yes we spoke on the phone and I got a very good vibe from you. I think if we met and spent time together we'd really hit it off and become real good friends. Just to clarify, I wasn't criticising you or your method, I was just sharing my personal experience. We all do what works best for us, learn and adjust as we go in life.

[Vasilisa]

I haven't read the whole thread, the first post only, from what I've heard so far she sounds very much like me and you sound very much like my ex husband, and the part about how important your friends' opinion to you proves that. Which makes me think, if you needed a thread you feel you are different, so leave her alone and move on.

[CDW]

You all are missing the point.  I don't ask women to kiss.   When I wrote her letter ending with "kiss", she replied that she doesn't believe in kissing before marriage.     

WHY DO YOU ASSUME I ASK WOMEN IF I CAN KISS HER????  Did I mention I ask women????

[ML]

You all are missing the point.  I don't ask women to kiss.   When I wrote her letter ending with "kiss", she replied that she doesn't believe in kissing before marriage.     

WHY DO YOU ASSUME I ASK WOMEN IF I CAN KISS HER????  Did I mention I ask women????

CDW, you were not the OP for  this thread.

And, the asking for kissing comments were directed toward Jone, not you.
Try to keep up here!!   

[It worked for me]

dont think, just do it

when i meet a girl for the 1st time i kiss her..

its quite normal,

obv followed by "wow you look fantastic!"

eta proster )) j

[jone]

that's a kiss, not a KISSSSSSSSSS!  The late, great, Robert Heinlein once wrote that kissing some women is better than getting laid by other women.  Women I have talked to say the same about some men.  Heinlein's character, Valentine Michael Smith, would empty everything from his mind but the woman he was kissing.  I've always tried to use this standard with the women I kissed.  For that reason, I am not a casual kisser.

But if you're in Odessa in November, I'll drop by and introduce myself and throw one back with you.

-j

"Kissing girls is a goodness, it beats the hell out of card games."

[Gator]

Where is GQ?   He gets a big laugh from "how to kiss" threads.

[2tallbill]

Also, I get the feeling that she is very conservative about sexual matters because:

Seriously? you thought that you would bring it up here and not with her
the ten thousand times you chatted, exchanged letters or spoke face to
face?

What else have you not discussed?

You need to talk to this girl about sex! I would have brought it up before I met her
the first time. I would have told her to take extra vitamins and lots of juice, to to
go to yoga at least a week before the trip to give her strength for when I arrive.

If there is anything else you haven't discussed, do that too!!

[ML]

FSU gals will NOT have sex before marriage.

[Trenchcoat]

Seriously? you thought that you would bring it up here and not with her
the ten thousand times you chatted, exchanged letters or spoke face to
face?

What else have you not discussed?

You need to talk to this girl about sex! I would have brought it up before I met her
the first time. I would have told her to take extra vitamins and lots of juice, to to
go to yoga at least a week before the trip to give her strength for when I arrive.

If there is anything else you haven't discussed, do that too!!

I would be careful about how or if if is brought up before meeting, with some girls such talk could be an early sign to her that you are a sex tourist. She may go into hitting you for buying her stuff on arrival especially if she doesn't like you all that much. Even humourous talk on sex may start her thinking the wrong way.

After a while I got to raising the topic of sex this way with FSW before seeing them. I would talk about my sexual status as being clean and my preference for using protection, etc. Again need to be a little careful as sone girls might still get the wrong impression or feel a little embarrassed, but it puts it on a more serious footing and tactfully done avoids you associating her directly with having or expecting sex from her, but merely reassures her that you would hopefully seek to take sex in a safe enough manner were it to happen. Any FSW of any note would seek to take sex in a serious and safe manner if they have any sense in my opinion.

[ML]

Any FSW of any note would seek to take sex in a serious and safe manner if they have any sense in my opinion.

As I have written here before . . . I interacted with a few FSU gals who did NOT want me to use condoms.

I am pretty sure they did not want to become pregnant (probably on birth control) and they were highly educated in professional (not hooker) jobs.

They said it lessened their pleasure.  I said, "lessened my pleasure maybe, not yours."

One of them said: "No, how would it feel to you if I wore gloves while  stroking your arm?"

Anyway, they were outliers in this regard.

[krimster2]

she wasn't 'stroking your arm"
she was "pulling your leg"

this joke is #63 in the catalog of Russian Prison Humor

[Trenchcoat]

As I have written here before . . . I interacted with a few FSU gals who did NOT want me to use condoms.

I am pretty sure they did not want to become pregnant (probably on birth control) and they were highly educated in professional (not hooker) jobs.

They said it lessened their pleasure.  I said, "lessened my pleasure maybe, not yours."

One of them said: "No, how would it feel to you if I wore gloves while  stroking your arm?"

Anyway, they were outliers in this regard.

I think for sure wearing a condom can lessen the pleasure for both men and women and make sex harder as sensitivity and feeling is decreased.

Up to now been the only way to be sure enough to avoid bad STD's but now you can get self test STD kits to use prior to having sex. They even do an HIV one which is a great idea I think. I personally wouldn't put total faith in them even though they are supposed to be highly effective just in case but they can remove a kit of worry. Even with a condom on having sex with a woman that you have no idea of her sexual past can be off putting even if she seems a careful type.

Great that technology keeps improving to make stuff like self tests possible prior to having sex. I wouldn't want to have sex without doing a self HIV test done first for both me and the woman so we are both more relaxed I think.