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Author Topic: Second trip to Kharkov  (Read 4537 times)

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Offline osis

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #75 on: November 18, 2017, 03:13:23 AM »

As for the lady, I think if a man knows how to interest a lady she will go one a date with him without interpreter even with poor English..


Exactly,hence the scepticism.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #76 on: November 18, 2017, 05:03:17 AM »
In part I agree Mobe, it's a long way to go to experience a lottery but that is what you get with talking beforehand in Skype - you cannot easily tell if there is attraction over Skype as you can in real life, it is essentially what it is, a series of moving picture frames, i.e frame rate. So it is like looking at  a girls photo and trying to tell if there would be natural chemistry - I tried this with the second girl I went to meet and it did not go well as you know. All I would say you might be able to tell from a photo is whether she remotely looks your type and if she looks like she might complement you as Mrs ... Sure even on that you may get it wrong but odds are knowing the type of girl I generally like I would at least get the right type of girl up.

I personally don't see myself going out to visit one again even with back ups. I would rather meet many since even skyping beforehand you are still essentially getting a blind date. The first girl I got on like a house on fire over Skype and we got on well during our dates but she was closed off and uninterested in any physical contact, the natural chemistry just was not there. It's kind of pointless spending loaf's of time on messaging and Skype to keep hitting this problem, arriving and wanting to make it work with a girl that doesn't want it. It's not good for her or me.

As far ad Mila & Ed are concerned well Ed according to his website has a high record of success, one Mila as it sounds would be one for her to envy ;D No I think most people know a matchmaker cannot assure a match/success but I am dubious as to whether that is being aimed at here. I would have thought it to be elementary to facilitate more togetherness between a couple if the girl really did like the guy. After three meetings of both apparently liking each other and being there for the purpose of finding someone (supposedly) they were still at square one. Now apparently Ed charges a lot more than Mila but then again he is in the US where Mila is stuck out in Ukraine. As the article on rich Chinese going out to Ukraine highlighted it is possible to charge a lot out there but only if you have the girls available. This makes me wonder if Mila has much in the way of girls a viable or really knows how to go about this field after all her field of expertise is really as a terp. My thought is if Osis & others from what I have seen on here have the feeling that it's a path to avoid treading again then for many and indeed myself it is another avenue in which money and more importantly time & life chances could be wasted.

I will tell you now Mobers I am just getting started on a whole new strategy for my next attempt at all of this and I'm pretty confident of a good outcome this time :D

Offline kynrazor

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #77 on: November 18, 2017, 08:16:41 AM »
I may be disproving your point. I am about to visit a girl with 'basic' English skills. Very little video and a ton of viber messaging. Her English is veeeeeery bad but her 'looks' are exxxxxotic!!

Not for me. Neeeext!!  :D :rolleyes: Best of luck LAman, I'm looking forward to your TR :thumbsup:

I must say, the girl translates all messages. All messages between us are in English and I keep forgetting she cannot speak English.

Ah the miracles of the IT age. She can be a 10/10 but I just can't be bothered facilitating or teaching her english. She's going to need it anyhow when she gets imported into my home. :P
« Last Edit: November 18, 2017, 08:18:31 AM by kynrazor »
Sincerely,
Kyn

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #78 on: November 18, 2017, 08:37:26 AM »
Physical contact is over-rated imo, especially for the first date.
Yes, unless it is preceded by other signs, i.e. her body language ;).

Suppose you two are sitting at a table, and involuntarily:
- Her pupils become dilated (sign of attention)
- She leans towards you (sign of attention and no feel of 'threat')
- She touches her hair frequently (as if checking it is properly arranged)

These signs are all encouraging. However, they do not necessarily mean you have made a kill, yet ;D.

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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #79 on: November 18, 2017, 09:23:57 AM »
Ah the miracles of the IT age. She can be a 10/10 but I just can't be bothered facilitating or teaching her english. She's going to need it anyhow when she gets imported into my home. :P

You wouldn't necessarily teach her English as such. Basically you just keep the phrases simple, reuse the same basic words when you talk to her. So her English would gradually improve by basic conversations with you rather than you sat down giving English lessons. The context of where you are and what you are doing will help also. She will of course need some basic English to do though no doubt it has been done from scratch before with greater ordeal and difficulty. Yes in any case you will not for a while have deep & meaningful conversation or communicate all your wishes ^ desires through speech.

It's a difficult one I generally would of course prefer a girl to speak good English but whether she is into you is most important I think.

There are up & downsides to girls that know English well and those that don't. A girl that speaks English well can more easily get a job in UK/US and if she is pretty and has good social skills may then be very exposed to guys that may be better looking, earn more & more exciting social life/socially skilled than you. Even if she is facing deportation if she leaves you all she needs is an email address or mobile number of the guy and he can happily sort out marriage of himself to her knowing you have done all the donkey work unrewarded of finding her for him.

You see an apparent 'advantage' can quickly work out to be very detrimental.

Offline kynrazor

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #80 on: November 18, 2017, 10:01:43 AM »
Yes, unless it is preceded by other signs, i.e. her body language ;).

Suppose you two are sitting at a table, and involuntarily:
- Her pupils become dilated (sign of attention)
- She leans towards you (sign of attention and no feel of 'threat')
- She touches her hair frequently (as if checking it is properly arranged)

These signs are all encouraging. However, they do not necessarily mean you have made a kill, yet ;D.

When the giggling fits start coming in and she simply becomes increasingly more agreeable, is usually the moment when I know I'm more or less in the groove to score a great date. ;D

Blimey Sandro, I just noticed you're just a couple of years older than my dad! Very hands-on guy who used to work as a systems-control engineer and had his share of stories of working with programmers of which some were outright hilarious.  :popcorn:
Sincerely,
Kyn

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #81 on: November 18, 2017, 10:23:31 AM »


Ah the miracles of the IT age. She can be a 10/10 but I just can't be bothered facilitating or teaching her english. She's going to need it anyhow when she gets imported into my home. :P

If you find someone that clicks with you, wants to speak to you all times of day, shows they care........you can't be bothered facilitating or teaching English??? Look, I have been only dating girls with relatively good English for several years, while it was convenient, didn't proceed to more serious stages. Sometimes you need to have an open mind, who knows if your 'love' turns out not how you pictured!!!
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #82 on: November 18, 2017, 11:36:12 AM »
If you find someone that clicks with you, wants to speak to you all times of day, shows they care........you can't be bothered facilitating or teaching English??? Look, I have been only dating girls with relatively good English for several years, while it was convenient, didn't proceed to more serious stages. Sometimes you need to have an open mind, who knows if your 'love' turns out not how you pictured!!!

Exactly

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #83 on: November 18, 2017, 12:19:34 PM »
Blimey Sandro, I just noticed you're just a couple of years older than my dad! Very hands-on guy who used to work as a systems-control engineer and had his share of stories of working with programmers of which some were outright hilarious.
Well, I worked as a Systems Engineer at IBM Italy in the early 1970s, for 3 of my 30 years there and I, too, could tell a few funny stories about colleagues and customers ;D.
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Offline ML

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #84 on: November 18, 2017, 12:20:27 PM »
Mila, please address specifically the time when you and your husband charged a man here $20 for a 5 block trip with no waiting time.
And he didn't know about the amount until later.
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Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #85 on: November 18, 2017, 12:31:52 PM »
BTW, for those interested in additional bahavioural clues to emotional states, here is a page for further reading: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language.

An intriguing related area is that of mirror neurons: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror_neuron.
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Offline Mila

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #86 on: November 18, 2017, 01:33:50 PM »
By the way, I charged $20 total, which included one way to destination area and back, that is 10 + 10. It is fair enough, more than that, I picked up some time a lady from work and we all went to my client's place to pick him up and it is all was included in that price. Honestly, I see no point to argue over it, as it was all fair.


I am sorry you are not satisfied with your trip, but it has nothing to do with me. I only introduce people and I can't make decisions instead of them. Every person decides what is best for him/her. I can only suggest sometimes, but can't influence somebody's choice.

Offline Boethius

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #87 on: November 18, 2017, 09:44:33 PM »
You mean lady 1, well Osis said she agreed to a second meet initially but only if terp was present as though she had a level of English she was not confident with it. Only after Osis pushed a bit too hard for her did she back out - I think the compromise was a dinner with terp then they go on alone but this did not suit. So I assume she was interested as she originally accepted without excuses but perhaps this pushing stressed her out. Unless it was just a money generating exercise, perhaps Osis might like to give us his thoughts on whether he thought it was genuine attraction from the female/all above board?


You're missing completely what was going on.
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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #88 on: November 18, 2017, 10:57:49 PM »

You're missing completely what was going on.

Oh, perhaps you would care to enlighten us?

If you mean it might have been a set up in some way that is what I mean by a money generating exercise. Either with or without knowledge of the girl the guy is told she wants a terp present and/or the girl doesn't really like the guy but is just stringing him along to get more money out of him. I know I like a lot of people would wonder at this, after even first or second meeting it sounds dodgy but after third meeting I would start getting very suspicious. It may be coinsidence but it would leave many a man with the impression it was a set up and displeased. I personally can see no reason to have a terp there after first date, ok second I would have agreed with to see but third then a fourth! Like I say it may be innocent but the picture it builds up in most peoples minds is a dubious one regardless. I kind of get the impression from Mila's actions & responses that she has a rather cavalier attitude to the way her clients are dealt with and this would further raise suspicions. This is not to say her explanation for the taxi ride is not a reasoned one but more the way her clients seem to be dealt with in an offhand manner. Shows why using an agent is often not a good idea as client often has little way of knowing if they are straight up or not, particularly if things start to get a bit odd.

Offline civi68

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #89 on: November 19, 2017, 05:45:09 AM »
Mila made a good point about people making their own decisions. A good service provides interpreters, arranging meetings, and getting around town. After that, it is up to whether two people are interested in each other. Agencies/interpreters have to deal with people, whether it be frustrated/confused men, women not sure what they want, etc. It is a big decision on both parties to commit to a relationship or move to another country so it is common for some to back out when they can't see spending their life with someone. The fantasy of finding a Russian woman or American man often hits the road block of the reality of the specific person in front of them. Some women start out enthusiastic about you and then change their mind later.Including myself, I have seen men meet many women who appear sincerely interested in finding a man but it was not me or them they were looking for. No matter how hard you try to minimize this challenge, whether it be finding the best services, letter writing, Skype, meet many, etc, you can still come back from a trip empty handed.

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #90 on: November 19, 2017, 05:58:53 AM »
By the way, I charged $20 total, which included one way to destination area and back, that is 10 + 10. It is fair enough, more than that, I picked up some time a lady from work and we all went to my client's place to pick him up and it is all was included in that price. Honestly, I see no point to argue over it, as it was all fair.


I am sorry you are not satisfied with your trip, but it has nothing to do with me. I only introduce people and I can't make decisions instead of them. Every person decides what is best for him/her. I can only suggest sometimes, but can't influence somebody's choice.

Hello Mila, do you remember when your husband drove us from my apartment on Sumskaya to the Russian consulate last September? If I remember correctly, your husband drove us there and then we walked back. You charged me $20 for the ride without telling me in advance about this cost.

I don't mean to sound like I'm attacking you because I think you did a great job and would use you again in the future.
Be ready to change everything

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #91 on: November 19, 2017, 06:59:19 AM »
I personally don't think the $20 fee is the issue here. It sounds like to me Mila averages this out over the day to day meets. Sure it is not as cheap as most taxi's even probably the longer distances but it is arguing over a few coppers. Businesswise it may not be the best move to average out costs like this as customers don't understand easily as it skews the perception of cost to services rendered per journey.

I think the real problem here is perception guys get as a whole that they are being dealt with in a cavalier way and hence lacking respect. Not just not informing them of taxi rides up front but thoughts in whether the women are legit. If a guy is told the girl insists on terp being present for a series of dates but can speak basic to decent English then is told that she is backing out after already three dates because although she says she likes him she does not want to be alone with him yes I think many a man would wonder if it was a put up job.

No a guy can often go home empty handed but if he goes home with the impression he's been had on and dealt with as if he is a pawn in a game or in a cavilier way overall he is nothe going to think well of the visit. I would say on order to avoid similar happening again Mila should state to both man and woman and on her webpage too that unless the gut wants otherwise she will only attend for the first meet and girl should be accepting of this. I personally think though that it is always going too be a bit of an issue with agents whether it's legit or a put up job with many a guy being left unsure which it is.

Offline Mila

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #92 on: November 19, 2017, 02:06:04 PM »

We set our rates for driving based on the average use of our clients for the driver service.  The service is not just for driving, but for other services the client may require, such as translation, and ensuring safety.


I should have made this clear to those clients complaining about our fee before any clients used that service.  In the future, I will ensure customers know before they use our driving service what the fee will be, and what it includes.


I apologize to any clients who felt they were not provided a fair service.

Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #93 on: November 19, 2017, 05:17:31 PM »
We set our rates for driving based on the average use of our clients for the driver service.  The service is not just for driving, but for other services the client may require, such as translation, and ensuring safety.

I should have made this clear to those clients complaining about our fee before any clients used that service.  In the future, I will ensure customers know before they use our driving service what the fee will be, and what it includes.

I apologize to any clients who felt they were not provided a fair service.

This is why people recommend Mila (not me, because I've never been to Kharkiv and haven't used her services, although we have corresponded briefly in the past).  She listens to people's concerns, takes note, and does something about it to make her service better.  She's also the only person in her trade (except maybe Stirlitz? can't recall) who has actually apologised on this forum for something which appears to have arisen simply from a lack of communication, rather than as an outright attempt to rip people off (e.g. Anastasiadate, A Foreign Affair, nearly every other agency in the FSU...).

That she's prepared to do this in public, rather than just send the aggrieved person a PM, is a huge tick in my book.


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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #94 on: November 20, 2017, 03:07:28 PM »
I should have made this clear to those clients complaining about our fee before any clients used that service.  In the future, I will ensure customers know before they use our driving service what the fee will be, and what it includes.



Complaints hurt your business. Doing what you just said will help you reduce the complaints.
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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #95 on: November 21, 2017, 11:13:27 AM »
Well that clears up the taxi fiasco, it still leaves concern over whether the guy might be being led on by woman that want repeated terp time & drop out if refused, i.e the guy getting the perception he may be being led on. A solution to that may be needed also?

Offline GQBlues

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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #96 on: November 21, 2017, 11:39:36 AM »
Well that clears up the taxi fiasco, it still leaves concern over whether the guy might be being led on by woman that want repeated terp time & drop out if refused, i.e the guy getting the perception he may be being led on. A solution to that may be needed also?


Yeah. Be a f@#king adult and stop relying on someone else/blame someone else for your own fate!
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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #97 on: November 21, 2017, 01:30:17 PM »
Well that clears up the taxi fiasco, it still leaves concern over whether the guy might be being led on by woman that want repeated terp time & drop out if refused, i.e the guy getting the perception he may be being led on. A solution to that may be needed also?

Stop posting as if you are a f'n consumer 'expert' ... ;)
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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #98 on: November 22, 2017, 02:40:42 AM »
Never has so much fuss been made over a $20 taxi fare.

Regarding Mila I've never been to Kharkov so never paid to use her services..but i'd hazard a guess that the women she introduces to foreign men there are the same as women everywhere..if a man ticks all the right boxes then one or more of her friends will be seriously interested in him,if he doesn't it's bye bye.

Us men are exactly the same..we look for a woman who ticks all the right boxes too...it's a two-way street.

As for Mila herself..i travelled to meet a girl in Kiev years ago and I asked Mila for some advice over the ensuing communication between the girl and myself after i'd returned home....and Mila was most helpful in taking the time  to send me an email giving me her advice...i'd say she's one of the good ones.
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Re: Second trip to Kharkov
« Reply #99 on: November 22, 2017, 08:29:16 PM »
Never has so much fuss been made over a $20 taxi fare.

Then you are missing the point.  It is not about the $20 taxi fare.

e.g.  You hire someone.  Within the first week you discover he/she took $2 from the cash register.  You terminate the person.

Should you be criticised by those who say:  My God, it was only $2.
« Last Edit: November 22, 2017, 08:32:02 PM by ML »
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