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Author Topic: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating  (Read 53314 times)

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Offline msmob

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #25 on: January 30, 2018, 12:18:12 PM »
For those WITH a clue...  I invited my then future wife to Cyprus ( first)  - as it was warmer than Siberia - in December - and I went to visit her in Siberia in early Feb ( -25C to -30C )

I had never seen steaming rivers and so much snow, and the thrill of removing layers of clothes ...

Trench - why don't you consider hibernation ?  You don't seem to mind missing out on stuff


Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #26 on: January 30, 2018, 05:34:01 PM »
Just how much time do you think I have? I am not retired, I get some free time of course, but all the time I spend waffling onto women online is time I am not making money.

What sort of job do you have that you need to spend ALL of your time trying to make money?  And which is more important to you - the almighty pound, or potentially finding the future Mrs Trenchcoat?  I know you've told us that you want to build up your bank balance before heading to Russia, but most of us in paid employment (as distinct from those like BillyB who are self-employed) try to keep our working hours down to something reasonable, and then we have time for all the fun stuff - such as going on dates!

Messaging I can keep the messages short survey can have a few on the go and maintain it.

What the hell does this mean?  :cluebat: I don't care if you're not able to find a computer to write on, as distinct from your phone but, for the love of Mike, please try previewing what you've written BEFORE you hit POST.

Skype though I can only do one within a few hours at most. Why? Because if I overrun I can't mess things up with the following girl if I stand her up. I can also mess things up with the girl I'm talking to if we start hitting it off then I have to suddenly pull the plug. I may also become quite knackered after talking to one girl particularly if her English is not good or after work. So you see it is not that easy to talk to more than one girl unless you are retired or similar.

That's just another excuse to add to the list.  The whole of point of INITIAL Skype calls is to keep them short because you're looking for any excuse to kick the girl to the kerb (same as when buying a car) - as she is with you.  If there's ANYTHING which doesn't fit your search criteria you politely thank her for her time and end the conversation.  Even if you like her, and think that there's potential for a relationship, you still need to end the conversation if you have another one lined up.  There's nothing to stop you ringing back again the same day/night (depending on how late it already is where she lives) or the next day.

Now think, how many girl would I have to go through until I find one naturally attracted to me. I personally think 10 percent of girls would be way too much for me and most guys. I think nearer 5 percent would be nearer the mark judged on the number of women I come across where this seemed present in the UK (note they may of course had bf already so not necessarily available). So about 1 out of every 20 girls roughly would be the case and seems about right.

For crying out loud!  You only Skype the ones who have already passed your initial screening (whether by email or some other method)!  Of those, if you have any clue at all about what you want and/or are prepared to compromise on, you should have a strike rate way better than 5%.

To my mind I am better off going out there to do this. Why? Because otherwise I am potentially passing over girl I have chemistry with so unless I get lucky I am making the odds even longer.

There are thousands of potential Mrs Trenchcoats out there, and I would hazard a guess that a very big proportion of them live within an hour's travel of you - NOT in the FSU.  "Chemistry" is something which should be obvious to some degree even on Skype and, if you can't pick up any, you do as I wrote above - end the call and move on.

Being in the UK is a big bonus yes in terms of travel time & cost but if you are meeting one woman at a time it can still mount up with not necessarily any success to show either.

And how do you think the vast majority of people start dating?  Gee, they meet ONE woman at a time!  And a lot of them eventually end up married!

The guys that do seem to nearly always have success seem to be the ones that are willing to go out there and spend a good many weeks or months out there - that strategy can work well whether from the US, UK, Canada, Aus, etc as you don't often have to make the journey, you're there and it's done.

That's more bollocks.  Of course there are members here who have done that - but they are a tiny minority, and they speak Russian!  You don't.  Most have started the same way - take a trip for a week or two, or a month, meet a girl (or several) and, as 2tallbill says, rinse and repeat.  Although some get lucky and meet the girl of their dreams on the first trip, there are still all sorts of hurdles to overcome (time and money being of the essence) before they wind up happily married in suburbia.  Again, most men need to make several trips to get to that stage.

Most people only have a limited amount of vacation time, so they're constrained by that.  You don't seem to have that problem if you're talking about spending several months there, so why not do some groundwork and get ready to line up some dates before you go?  I'm not talking about contacting women now - start making a list of potential contacts now, save them as favourites on your dating site(s), and contact them when you're nearly ready to go.  Surely any preparation is better than none (and that includes learning a bit more than basic Russian if you're going to spend months there - assuming that you can get a visa to do so).

Offline Sting23

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #27 on: January 30, 2018, 08:02:06 PM »
You can't help those who don't want to be helped...

Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #28 on: January 31, 2018, 02:07:21 AM »
You can't help those who don't want to be helped...

I know, but I'm just a helluva nice guy! (Where's that angel emoticon when you need it?).  :devil:

Even if Trenchcoat doesn't take a blind bit of notice, which is on the cards, I'll pretend that I'm 2tallbill, and preface my remarks with "for the newbies and lurkers out there...," hoping like hell that my words of wisdom (along with everyone else's) will actually make a difference for SOMEONE.

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #29 on: January 31, 2018, 05:48:11 AM »
Quote
Most people only have a limited amount of vacation time, so they're constrained by that.  You don't seem to have that problem if you're talking about spending several months there, so why not do some groundwork and get ready to line up some dates before you go?  I'm not talking about contacting women now - start making a list of potential contacts now, save them as favourites on your dating site(s), and contact them when you're nearly ready to go.  Surely any preparation is better than none (and that includes learning a bit more than basic Russian if you're going to spend months there - assuming that you can get a visa to do so).

:D You have stubbled upon my strategy Kiwi. This is what I have been doing. I took three cities, Minsk, St. Petersburg & Sochi and made a favourite folder for each one. I then looked up a whole load of women and everytime I got to one that looked like I could see her with me I added her to the list. If she had kids already she got kicked to the curb as apart from preferring without I don't want any more complications than the usual on all this which is usually enough in itself. The women were all between 29-34 years old as I felt any younger would unlikely serve me well while much older and her having kids might start becoming an issue. Well, of the three cities Sochi was hardest going - there seemed to be lots of attractive women but they nearly all had kids, leaving the less attractive who did not. Minsk was next best, lots of women without kids but not that many attractive women. So St. Petersburg came top, lots of attractive women without kids, they just seem to keep coming up and up here, lol. Sochi by contrast was a tough game searched loads and the same deal, if she was hot she normally also had a kid, why this is so I guess is propably down to girls wanting to hook up with wealthy guys then them dumping them.

Anyway, so St. Pete's was the way to go it seemed, Minsk I could always stop off for five days on the way and bring up the best girls but to get a visa and be confined to there seemed stupid. If I ever got fed up with St. Petersburg or it got too cold a business visa could let me travel anywhere. I did not do Moscow as already been there but from what I hear from other posters the hit rate is probably similar to St.Pete's so another possibility. To be hobest it doesn't take long once you know the sort of thing you are looking for. A day of just searching will bring up a load of women, I surprised myself on that. Anyway so here I am, like I say I am holding off on contacting these women as I want to meet with them in person once there NOT get dragged into lots of messaging and Skype beforehand. It's a pretty disciplined approach but one that I think will pay off.

Money wise the Great British Pound is king ;) Every GBP that I earn enables me more clout out there. Ukraine the most of course but even in the more expensive parts if Russia it's good to have a fair old wacky of savings behind me. If & when I secure an independant source of income later this year then I should be able to stay out there a lengthy period without having to rely upon work - so a good place to be :) At the moment spending a lot of time Skyping will detract from all of that so would be counterproductive. Like it or not a good financial position usually serves a guy well out there.

I want to quickly establish if there is chemistry in person, that is something I find difficult over Skype. I think you'll find if you play around on Skype with quick calls then want another later after the girl has waited around for ages it will not go down well. Anyway, this is the strategy I have chosen for this year and one that I believe will best suit me.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline msmob

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #30 on: January 31, 2018, 06:26:00 AM »

Money wise the Great British Pound is king ;) Every GBP that I earn enables me more clout out there.

Trench can't be aware that @ 80 R/ GBP the 'strong' Pound has lost  approx 30 R and Russia has had inflation ..

Let him find out how 'king' his post Brexit vote 'our' currency is .. :wallbash:


Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #31 on: January 31, 2018, 05:30:29 PM »
:D You have stubbled upon my strategy Kiwi.

What has forgetting to shave got to do with finding a wife?  :-X  I do hope you meant "stumbled."

This is what I have been doing. I took three cities, Minsk, St. Petersburg & Sochi and made a favourite folder for each one.

Finally!  Something sensible at last.

I then looked up a whole load of women and everytime I got to one that looked like I could see her with me I added her to the list. If she had kids already she got kicked to the curb as apart from preferring without I don't want any more complications than the usual on all this which is usually enough in itself. The women were all between 29-34 years old as I felt any younger would unlikely serve me well while much older and her having kids might start becoming an issue.

Even better.  Continue like this and people might actually start to think you DO have a better than one-in-a-million chance of succeeding.

...Sochi by contrast was a tough game searched loads and the same deal, if she was hot she normally also had a kid, why this is so I guess is propably down to girls wanting to hook up with wealthy guys then them dumping them.

And then you spoil it, as usual, by posting more misogynistic twaddle!

Anyway, so St. Pete's was the way to go it seemed, Minsk I could always stop off for five days on the way and bring up the best girls but to get a visa and be confined to there seemed stupid. If I ever got fed up with St. Petersburg or it got too cold a business visa could let me travel anywhere.

It depends what sort of visa you get.  You can't LIVE in Russia using a business visa.  Ask posters such as mhr7 and deccie how they live there, and what sort of visa they have.  Mendeleyev is a different sort of case, as he has been living in Moscow for many years.

As for the number of women, did you not bother to check the respective populations?  Saint Petersburg has near enough to 5 million people, and Sochi only 360,000 - of COURSE there will be fewer in Sochi who fit your criteria.

I want to quickly establish if there is chemistry in person, that is something I find difficult over Skype.

Why?  As I posted earlier, your strategy (W0VM) should be to make short calls to your edited list, simply to find out the respective levels of interest.  If either of you has reservations, you end it immediately.

I think you'll find if you play around on Skype with quick calls then want another later after the girl has waited around for ages it will not go down well. Anyway, this is the strategy I have chosen for this year and one that I believe will best suit me.

Why should she be waiting around for ages?  :cluebat: All you need to do is set a time that you will call back, AND STICK TO IT!  She has no exclusive claim to your time, as you don't to hers, and it's highly unlikely that you will be the only WM talking to her.  Find out early if you think that she's worth pursuing - if not, move on.

But, in your case, I would set aside some time before you go simply to narrow down your field.  You don't have to be "retired" - just use some of your holiday wisely by contacting women on your shortlist before you go.

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #32 on: January 31, 2018, 06:43:48 PM »
Trench can't be aware that @ 80 R/ GBP the 'strong' Pound has lost  approx 30 R and Russia has had inflation ..

Let him find out how 'king' his post Brexit vote 'our' currency is .. :wallbash:

Still a better pound to rouble rate than 2013-14 which was before Brexit ;)
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Offline Sting23

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #33 on: January 31, 2018, 06:47:04 PM »
Anotherkiwi, sometimes failure is the only way people learn.  Trench will learn soon enough.  I have a strong feeling many of the women he contacts won't even bother meeting up with him when he goes to Russia.

Remember, they are on a dating site.  They probably have 100's of guys contacting them.  I have Russian lady friends who tell me the type of messages they get.  They get offers to meet up in a foreign city for vacation and much more.

They aren't waiting around for some dude like "Trench" to show up that's for sure.

What could he possibly offer to them.  He doesn't live in London but some small little town.  No big city girl is gonna be interested.

Let him learn.


Offline Sting23

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #34 on: January 31, 2018, 06:51:52 PM »
Still a better pound to rouble rate than 2013-14 which was before Brexit ;)

Yeah but you totally missed the boat already.  The pound was worth over 100 rubles in 2015-early 2016... you should have booked your flight then when you effectively had double the purchasing power.


Offline msmob

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #35 on: January 31, 2018, 10:30:33 PM »
Still a better pound to rouble rate than 2013-14 which was before Brexit ;)

Yup - you chose to forget double digit inflation, again ...  remind us, WHEN were you last in Russia ?

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #36 on: February 01, 2018, 01:03:05 PM »
Yeah but you totally missed the boat already.  The pound was worth over 100 rubles in 2015-early 2016... you should have booked your flight then when you effectively had double the purchasing power.

Double of the current 80 is 160 so what you say is not true, at best it's only been around the 120 mark so approximately a third more.
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Offline msmob

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #37 on: February 01, 2018, 02:40:23 PM »
at best it's only been around the 120 mark so approximately a third more.


You and BillyB went to the same school? Your arithmetic is atrocious.

As you referred to MORE....a 40 Rouble increase from 80R to 120R is 50 percent ....

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #38 on: February 01, 2018, 03:21:56 PM »

You and BillyB went to the same school? Your arithmetic is atrocious.

As you referred to MORE....a 40 Rouble increase from 80R to 120R is 50 percent ....

I never said I was talking percentages ;)
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Offline msmob

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #39 on: February 02, 2018, 01:18:53 AM »
I note you've been to the BillyB school of obfuscation, too  :D

Since when has approximately a third not been A LOT nearer thirty percent  ..?




Offline LAman

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #40 on: February 19, 2018, 01:50:51 PM »


Anyway, so St. Pete's was the way to go it seemed, Minsk I could always stop off for five days on the way and bring up the best girls but to get a visa and be confined to there seemed stupid. If I ever got fed up with St. Petersburg or it got too cold a business visa could let me travel anywhere. I did not do Moscow as already been there but from what I hear from other posters the hit rate is probably similar to St.Pete's so another possibility. To be hobest it doesn't take long once you know the sort of thing you are looking for. A day of just searching will bring up a load of women, I surprised myself on that. Anyway so here I am, like I say I am holding off on contacting these women as I want to meet with them in person once there NOT get dragged into lots of messaging and Skype beforehand. It's a pretty disciplined approach but one that I think will pay off.

 

Just saw a thread in tripadvisor, this was OP.....maybe started by our trench????

                   how to meet girls in moskow
                     Sep 12, 2017, 3:15 AM



         traveling to moskow dont how to talk to russians


what'd ya'll think???

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Offline Nightwish

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #41 on: February 19, 2018, 02:13:21 PM »
Just saw a thread in tripadvisor, this was OP.....maybe started by our trench????

                   how to meet girls in moskow
                     Sep 12, 2017, 3:15 AM



         traveling to moskow dont how to talk to russians


what'd ya'll think???

No, not Trench, to short, to much to the point, no rambling and that almost made sense as a question, so not Trench... (but the spelling and the structure of the sentence was almost like it could have been him)
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Offline msmob

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #42 on: February 20, 2018, 12:55:04 AM »
Although Trenchie has his mobile phone set to US English (?), 'we' - this side of the pond call the RU capital Mos 'Ko '...   no cattle involved ;)

But then may be Trenchie was trying to be 'hip' ?

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #43 on: March 16, 2018, 10:42:06 PM »
Well for those of you already fed up with talk on Russian spies, Stephen Hawking, etc back to me :D

I've come to the decision that the way things are working out that I would be best off going out to the FSU for a couple of weeks end of may/beginning of June and then layer in the year going out on a more extensive stay whether I've found a woman or not, to either find a woman then once found get into a domestic situation with her. Odds are it may be looking at Belarus/Ukraine combination because of the situation currently developing but we shall see.

Main thing though is I an still in a bit of a quandary as to the type of girl I should go for. Should I look for a girl that is not too bothered about fashion/material stuff or one like the last girl who was? BillyB has helped me to see that there can be advantages to such a girl such as her being more clued into people and hence getting on better with people. However I tend to find the spend level a bit worrying. I kind of see how a bit of spending on fashion can look nice for both the guy & girl. With more materialistic girls though the expectation usually goes beyond the odd dress, top, coat, bag or shoes, it seems that it is an as often as possible affair with a regular summer/winter wardrobe turnaround. Now while I quite like a bit of clothes shopping with a pretty girl :) I kind of also take reassurance and comfort in a relatively stable bank account. I can bring on a bit more money but I am not fabulously wealthy. Some of this fashion stuff does not cost a lot to be honest but a lot of it will add up. To some extent it's all about where life's priorities are, I could easily spend similar money to a fashion label, dress, shirt, etc on some updated components for my computer, a new computer, DIY  power tools, car assessories, etc - so should I really object to spending a similar amount on clothing reasonably regularly? Beyond that do I go for a girl with similar interests or one that is intelligent or one who is socially skilled or one that is fun loving but a bit of a bimbo? Aside from natural chemistry of course.
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Offline Boethius

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #44 on: March 16, 2018, 11:08:43 PM »
The fact you don’t even know what you’re looking for suggests you will fail.

Figure out what is important to you in life. Choose someone who shares your values.
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Offline msmob

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #45 on: March 17, 2018, 02:14:00 AM »


Figure out what is important to you in life. Choose someone who shares your values.

Isn't that the problem - he seeks a concubine

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #46 on: March 17, 2018, 02:28:37 AM »
Isn't that the problem - he seeks a concubine

Funny you say that Mobers, I've been thinking of just that recently, my dream of having a concubine of lots of hotties :D Realistically though apart from becoming a Mormon I don't see how this would be achieved in present day society :(
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Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #47 on: March 17, 2018, 02:48:16 AM »
The fact you don’t even know what you’re looking for suggests you will fail.

Figure out what is important to you in life. Choose someone who shares your values.

I think you're right Boethius, what you have put has made me think about what is important/suit me best. I'm thinking actually that someone that is quite well balanced in the areas I've outlined would actually suit be best. Out off the two of the girls I met for any significant time the first was too much into the performing arts/opera, orchestra and the like - I don't mind occasionally but this would get tiresome after not too long. She was into fashion but far more reasonable than the last girl, we went into a high street clothes shop (a chain store) and she bought an item or two without asking me to buy her anything, though I made sure I was not near the till at the time ;) it was at the end of the week and there had been no affection so seemed a pointless waste to spend out on a non-runner.

The last girl was too much into clothes shopping, while its great to see her in some hot gear it again gets tiresome if you do too much off it, and apart form the beach it was most of the time. I'm quite into exploring cities and stuff to do, sightseeing, the odd museum, ornate building, etc again a lot of this can get too much even for me if its done too much, day after day etc. So I'm thinking a girl that doesn't mind doing a bit of sightseeing together with the concessional fashion clothes shopping sort of direction. Intelligence wise I am not too bothered with her being uber intelligent, a bit of intelligence with a bit of fun loving would be ideal - I've often noticed that highly intelligent people can have difficulty relating to others and/or be too heavy in conversation, some more light hearted stuff can be good sometimes, but equally someone who is not devoid of intelligent thought good also. So the main question is do you think it is possible to find a woman that is only occasionally interested in fashion? i.e only a little materialistic because I sometimes wonder if its a all or nothing sort of thing when it comes to how materialistic a woman is :-\
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline alex330

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #48 on: March 17, 2018, 11:26:39 AM »
Yes.

Offline Jumper

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Re: My plans for 2018 FSU Dating
« Reply #49 on: March 17, 2018, 02:15:39 PM »
You can find any personality.

Materialism isn't completely tied to fashion  though.Those can be separate issues lol

  Anyway, my wife is more conservative with money than even trench scrouge coat possibly lol.
 She has good fashion sense but isnt all that label conscious, nor is shopping some real hobby.

Women have more interests than shopping TC.
If you havnt found one yet , then you are dating women I'd find infinanetly boring.

 I dint expect a g/f to enjoy the exact same hobbies i do, but i did look to share my life with someone who enjoyed an active lifestyle. Who when wee went on vacation woukd enjoy the same places I might,  or same excursions etc.
I'm not going to just bake on a beach for more than a day, nor am I going to do hours if shopping if I'm in some city or country I've never explored. i'd rather watch paint dry, and thats coming from a guy who loves the beach. So id want someone who would like to go snorkling,diving,  or go off sight seeing or fishing or hiking or whatever. I also like to do stuff on a whim.
If I have to take days to plan it out , then it's far less interesting.
So that's a small part of what I looked for in a partner.

You need to decide what would fit you and your personality and life.

Without that you are just chasing the shortest skirts , and possibly the worst long term compatibility  possible.
.

 

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