DV GreenCards and AM/RW

[BC]

There's always two sides to the story and besides greencard motivations the same things can happen in an AM/AW marriage.

I kind of agree with a previous post I read (can't find it or would give credit to the poster) that basically said no matter how good the relationship was, when it busts things  almost always turn very nasty with dirty tricks being pulled on both sides.

DV charges are not only a RW problem. I could see advantages for an AW as well.  

Regarding using DV charges to get a greencard, the same laws exist in many countries but definitions of DV and how they are interpreted by courts/police is vastly different than in the US. Women are granted automatic protection if  reported but the man is not raked over the coals until the charges are proven in court.

Imho the 'no tolerance presumption of guilt' attitude is the problem.  What do you expect when most politicians are lawyers..  

It is sad indeed when basic rights Americans used to be so proud of are thrown out the window.

There's a prenup thread already started so don't need to cover that here but what about protecting your criminal record and reputation if a marriage starts to go sour?

[acrzybear]

Well now we are entering my area of expertise

 

 The laws vary from state to state, some states have a mandatory 72 hour "cool down" period where the two parties can not have contact with each other.  Some times this is done by incarcerating the aggresser, and other times by an energency protective order issued by a judge or magistrate (depending on the state).

Having dealt with hundreds of these types of situations I have seen self inflicted wounds that the "victim" tried to say the other party did, I've seen actual physical abuse and too many other types of behavior to go into here.  I have worked in three states and have been to training with other states and the common thread among all states that I have seen is that there has to be visible physical abuse to make an arrest .  If there is no visible signs of physical abuse and the victim complains of pain(ie internal injuries) you get a medical opinion. 

That is not to say that you might get an Officer that does his job half assed, is inexperienced or forms an opinion about the helpless "victim".  In todays world there are severe penalties (criminal and civil) if you don't handle these types of situation correctly with the information you have at the time.  These types of situations typically start off with just verbal arguing and progress from there to physical and there is usually a history of aggressive bahavior or victimizing behavior for this type of activity.  If a person were to fall victim to this type of fraudulent behavior I could only recommend having friends, coworkers vouching for the accused's character and also getting a psychologist or therapists evaluation done to show the core behavioral pattern of that individual.  These are not cheap options and not for everyone.  

The post above is is just an informal broad view  based upon 10 years of dealing with domestic abuse situations and does not reflect any specific studies or learnings (except the school of hard knocks)

 Contact an attorney in your state that specializes in these type of cases since laws do vary from state to state.

 

[BC]

acrzybear,

Good post. Nice to have someone around with real experience in this area.

When talking about evidence of abuse, would a trashed chinaware set or other damage in the home constitute 'evidence of abuse'?

Besides being really cool headed when officers arrive, would it be a good idea to take one aside and insist on a medical opinion in any case? It would be easy for the offended party to later say i.e. "my hair was pulled" or "He/She forced me to.."

On one hand documented negative medical result may be helpful, and even if the officer refused the request the refusal would certainly have to be documented on their report.  

[acrzybear]

Usually a trashed house does not constitute domestic abuse or violate criminal laws, most courts have the opinion that community property (ie dishes and such) belongs to both parties and you can't charge the owners with damaging their own property.  As far as hair being pulled unless hair is actually pulled from the persons head it's just a he said/she said situation and almost impossible to prove or prosecute.  All departments I know of have some type of reporting procedures for domestic violence.

When the Officers arrive the best thing you can do is to try and remain calm (emotions run high in these types of situations) and explain what happen and answer his questions truthfully.  Getting angry at the officers and trying to make yourself look better (human nature) will not help you. Just be honest and that will usually get you alot further, If you lie then you have no credibility with the Officer (it does not matter if you are the victim  or the aggressor) and things will be diffucult for you.   

Some free advice, take it or leave it.

ciao