Man's Guide to Women

[Gator]

Now going viral on YouTube is a video of a man explaining how to decide which woman to date and to marry.   The man uses a X-Y chart with "Hot"  vs. "Crazy" axis.   At the end he develops a similar chart to help women, using "Cute" vs. "Money."






Soon afterwards, a woman prepared a similar video to evaluate men.  She draws a chart of "Jerk"  vs. "Cute."

[Lily]

That's a funny cute and crazy matrix 
 
My understanding is that the Wife Zone would be above 8 in the Hot and between about 7 to 5 crazy. What if I am not really an 8, at least I am not really sure I am     No wife zone for me then 

[Gator]

My understanding is that the Wife Zone would be above 8 in the Hot and between about 7 to 5 crazy. What if I am not really an 8, at least I am not really sure I am     No wife zone for me then 

On the serious side, having met you I can say you are well qualified to be a fine, hot wife.   


What could be the explanation for lack of marriage?   Most of my men friends are married.  I know a few divorced men in their 40s and 50s and almost all say they will never marry again.   One says, "I tried that and it did not work.  Not only did it not work, it was hell on earth."   So maybe we need another chart with an axis labeled "Disillusioned by Past Relationships."

[Drew]

This chart could have saved us all a lot of time.
Life ruined for lack of internet years ago!

[I/O]

maybe we need another chart with an axis labeled "Disillusioned by Past Relationships."

Or a mirror....

[CaptB]

Reminds me of my first trip to Tver, Russia. My friend was using "Lifetime Partners Agency" to find a wife. We had decided to go to Moscow for a few days. Then I would visit a half dozen Russian cities while he visited his girlfriend in Tver. That was the original plan. Then I received a call from his agency about a month before our trip. They convinced me that Tver was a very interesting historical city.........a good "base" for visiting that part of Russia (the Golden Ring area....St. Pete etc. An apartment, interpreter, driver and free membership in the agency. $100 per day. I was not looking for a Russian wife....so I did not care about the "free membership". But the sales person...."Mark"....suggested I might want to use the service to procure a "date" for dinner..a movie etc. while socializing with my friend Chuck and his girlfriend. Damned if I did not start to use the service on a almost daily ( or more ) basis :-)


One day while I was waiting for my friend to show-up at the agency for our early morning breakfast across the street.......I met a Japanese American waiting for his date to show-up. He was nice looking, friendly.....about 38-42 years of age. He was an accountant. He was looking through what appeared to be a self-made book...of sorts. Ring-bound......like you would have done at Staples....or Office Max. There had to be 70.....maybe 80 pages. I could see charts....graphs.....hand-written notations. After a few days I asked him what he was reading.....and taking notes on everyday. He said it was his master guide to finding the perfect partner. I had to laugh a little. I apologised. He said it was "OK".


A few days later he asked me what "formula" did "I" use? I explained I was not here to find a wife....but to see Russia. I explained about my friend who "was" looking.......and why I was at the agency. He stated that I always looked like I was having a good-time. He said that the process for him was not so enjoyable. He asked my advice. I told him the main problem....was that he was an "accountant". I asked to see his "guide". In the front was a list (over 100 items) of the attributes he was looking for in a partner. I told him he would be lucky to fill a list of a dozen items. People just are not that perfect. I asked him for ten of the most important attributes he was looking for. He asked for his guide back. I said......"how about without the book".
He named his ten attributes. I asked him to repeat then......he did. I said....."you asked my advice". I would like to add an 11th to your list. I said there are a lot of beautiful women here. My advice is to focus "not" on how you feel about the woman.....if you like her.....and she meets most of your "attributes".........you must focus on her response......"to you". Too many men focus on "their" feelings.........and don't give equal weight to how strong her feelings are....."for you". Too often the strength of feelings are not equal......between the man and the woman. One of them feels stronger.....and fails to accept that their prospective partner's feelings are not of equal intensity.


I threw is guide in the wire waste-basket. He looked at for a moment....then reached in and picked it up. I left on my date. The next morning he was in the office....."sans".....his guide. Within a few days he looked like he was actually smiling. We had lunch one day. He told me the guide was more of a distraction.....than help. He was there for two weeks. He did not find his match.......until the last few days. A very nice girl. They looked right together. They eventually married.


Capt B

[Gator]

....He said it was his master guide to finding the perfect partner. I had to laugh a little. I apologised. He said it was "OK".... In the front was a list (over 100 items) of the attributes he was looking for in a partner. I told him he would be lucky to fill a list of a dozen items. People just are not that perfect. I asked him for ten of the most important attributes he was looking for...He named his ten attributes....I said....."you asked my advice". I would like to add an 11th to your list. I said there are a lot of beautiful women here. My advice is to focus "not" on how you feel about the woman.....you must focus on her response......"to you". Too many men focus on "their" feelings.........and don't give equal weight to how strong her feelings are....."for you". Too often the strength of feelings are not equal......between the man and the woman. One of them feels stronger.....and fails to accept that their prospective partner's feelings are not of equal intensity.

Sage advice.  Chemistry is paramount. 

[CaptB]

Gator,


I am just in a "writing" mood this evening. Wife is sleeping......its quiet......a nice glass of port. Back in 1998 until I was married in 2003.......life in the Russian dating scene.............was just a lot of fun. Fun......because I knew all the rules to the dating game. I was 48......and no longer "bowled over".....by beauty...............more or less:-) I was not looking for a gal a "million" years younger that me. By that time I had met enough women who.......by their personality, character and grace......elevated their 7 or 8 beauty (Please..... I hate the 1-10 scale of appearance reference just as much an many of the female members here)...........to "off the charts". If beauty is the highest attribute........I will be bored ....indeed. I sent out 16 letters of introduction before my first trip to Tver, Russia........using LTP. I received 15 replies.......out of 16 letters. No form letters.......they were each composed for the individual RW. 10 or 11 sent a second letter to me I only wrote the letters about 30 days before departure. The one who did not respond....was an attorney who was away for a month....in Crimea. When she came back she did request a meeting two days before I left.


The "GUIDE TO (RUSSIAN) WOMEN"............it takes research and a lot of work........"personal" work. Sorry.......its late.....too tired to argue.......too many opinions. My guide.......my opinion:


1) Forget tours. Waste of time.


2) Agencies. If you are uncomfortable going "cold" by yourself.......use one. Research the "hell" out of each one........reduce costs as much as you can.
   
3) If you want to attract serious women.....tell them you are coming in three or four months tops. If you want be a "keyboard Romeo".......write them for a few years (sarcasm).


4) Don't take them on a vacation for the first meeting. Visit them in "their" home town. Meet their family.....friends.....co-workers.....bosses. Learn how these folks "regard Her". You will never get this kind of info......on a "vacation".


5) Don't send her money. How do you think she was ever "supporting herself".......before "you"....came along......you idiot. If she wants a lung transplant for her mother......a "stent" for her father......a new computer.......so she can contact you daily.......are you really that daft. Does common sense still exist. My wife "never" asked for ANYTHING.....nor expected it. She was doing just fine.......before "I" came along.


6) Sorry, this is a lot of work. If you don't do the work......you will fail........that is the only guarantee,


Sorry for the rant. On the RWG in 1998 there were less than 400 members........with at least half.....who were "serious" about this endeavor. I now find myself only coming here to announce our current wedding anniversary .......once a year. I check a few threads........add a few posts........the get frustrated......and leave. On the RWG.....RWD.......I always kept my cool. My friend JB.....would frequently lose his......and I would berate him (in private)...........for not keeping his (cool). Every couple years or so......I get to "mentor" someone from the board. My wife likes to help out.....also. Some work.......a few don't. There are no guarantees.........no magic formulas...........just dedication.......research.......and a lot of work. Sorry for the frustration.....and the rant. Time to hit the hay.


Capt B 

[Anotherkiwi]

Capt B, all these full stops are driving me nuts!

[Faux Pas]

Capt B, all these full stops are driving me nuts!

It's the port 

[Jumper]

Hey somehow Marc types without the yuooper accent!!
(maybe relocating to the mitten has softened it?)


and he gives sound advice.


Now if he'd share a good recipe for pasties we'd be set!

[CaptB]

The accent went from "Yooper"......to "Troll". Trolls are what Yoopers call tourists.....because they live below (under).....the bridge:-)


Capt B






p.s. The Mackinac bridge

[I/O]

all these full stops are driving me nuts!

Imagine if they were 'periods'....

[Anotherkiwi]

Imagine if they were 'periods'....

Maybe if it was written by a woman................ 

[Dave13]

Capt B  Your post about Tver did bring back the memories, I first went to Russia in 2002 and did use Lifetime Partners. Had lots of fun!    But decided to just relax, if you find someone great, if not Tver is a interesting city. Returned to Russia  in 2003 and got engaged to Anna, funny thing is she worked for the agency!  We celebrated 10 years of marriage this last July, no problems with our relationship. If guys would just look as this as a journey, enjoy the sights and experiences, you never know what may happen " that's the fun part"!

Dave

[kaiserdag]

Thanks for the " hot crazy matrix " men's guide and the girls response too.  ILMAO! And wonder if their is a certified unicorn for me.

[CaptB]

Dave 13,


I remember Anna well.....I believe she was an interpreter. I was dating a blond, beautiful 38 y.o. Irina Shishova....with a young daughter. Ultimately were just not suited to each other.....and I moved on. Anna may remember the friend I came with on my first visit..Chuck Joncas. We were the two Yoopers from Michigan. Anna may have been Chuck's interpreter for a few times. We had a going away party....the day before we left. Chuck made his killer lasagna.......and I made spaghetti & garlic bread. We asked a few of the girls to make the salad:-) Of course.....everbody eats leafy "salads" in most cultures............right!..............WRONG!!!!! They brought the large bowl of "salad" to the table......Chuck and I had to run to the kitchen to laugh....so we would not hurt anyones feelings. They had taken all the lettuce (several different kinds) and sliced it....oh....about a 1/16" wide.....reducing it to heavy...wet ......"under the lawn mower scrapings consistency". There was finely diced cucumbers and tomatoes also. We sat downed to eat. As each person took a bite.....faces became crinkled with disgust.


Chuck and I quickly raced back into the kitchen. We chopped, sliced and diced as quickly as possible......added some ranch dressing (which we were afraid to add to the original "slimy" salad).....and brought it to the table. Everyone said "oh"....that looks nice. Everyone liked the "new" salad......and the rest of the food.


Wow! That seems like only a few years ago. We just had our 11th anniversary in August. Lots of good memories of Russia in those times. Now even the less than good times in this process.....all seem good......all were worth it.


Say hi....to Anna.


Capt B   "Marc"