It appears you have not registered with our community. To register please click here ...

!!

Welcome to Russian Women Discussion - the most informative site for all things related to serious long-term relationships and marriage to a partner from the Former Soviet Union countries!

Please register (it's free!) to gain full access to the many features and benefits of the site. Welcome!

+-

Author Topic: Being a gentleman or a chump?  (Read 61109 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline brownbeard99

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 220
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: Resident
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #225 on: April 20, 2019, 08:58:33 PM »
There is another category of girl we haven’t discussed in this thread, and that’s the ones who ask for money before you even meet.  I have had a several, usually from Donetsk, who ask for me to send money within the first 10 messages.  I usually block them and move on.

I met a girl who I believe has a better long term  strategy...  I have been chatting with her for a few months, including video and phone calls.  She has sent me several pictures from around the world, including several pictures taken in the US.  She claims to have visited over 50 countries  because she has a relative who works for a major airline and she can get free tickets.

Instead of me coming to see her, she said she would come fly to see me. She said she had enough frequent flyer miles accrued to come to Chicago for free.  She never talked about specific dates until today. She previously had a tourist visa to the US, but it expired. She said she needs to apply for a new visa, but needs $300 to apply for the new visa.

For some reason, I feel like if I send her $300, I will never see her (or my money) again.  It’s a real bummer because I was reallly staring to like her...

Offline BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16105
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #226 on: April 20, 2019, 11:33:45 PM »
I have had a several, usually from Donetsk, who ask for me to send money within the first 10 messages. 


The quick scam

I met a girl who I believe has a better long term  strategy...  I have been chatting with her for a few months,...………….. She said she needs to apply for a new visa, but needs $300 to apply for the new visa.


The long scam or she may arrive if she's a pro dater. Photos of her travelling the world may be legit since she's open to flying anywhere with anybody.

She said she needs to apply for a new visa, but needs $300 to apply for the new visa.


Costs her $160 to apply for a tourist visa to America. She can't scam smart men. Easy to verify things with Google.

http://www.ustraveldocs.com/no/no-niv-visafeeinfo.asp
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline sunandsail

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 70
  • Gender: Male
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #227 on: April 22, 2019, 01:30:36 AM »
So this chump asks a group of chumps how to deal with scammers.
What could go wrong?

Offline AnonMod

  • Moderator
  • *
  • Posts: 538
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: None (yet)
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #228 on: April 22, 2019, 12:55:05 PM »
Off topic posts have been split to this thread -

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=22008.0
This account does NOT accept PM's. If you need to contact the RWD Staff, please use the 'Report to moderator' link.

Offline Gator

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16987
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #229 on: April 22, 2019, 01:24:08 PM »
Off topic posts have been split to this thread -

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=22008.0

Trench has prompted 103 pages of off-topic posts!  OMG!   

OK, whisk me words away. 

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5805
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #230 on: April 22, 2019, 01:48:13 PM »
if you took away Trench, this web site would be a couple of old white men talkin trash 'bout liberals and the best way to yell at people to get off their lawn
thrilling topics
I think Trench was sent by God to make RWD Great Again!!!
« Last Edit: April 22, 2019, 02:08:48 PM by krimster2 »

Offline Gator

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16987
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #231 on: April 22, 2019, 04:33:12 PM »
if you took away Trench, this web site would be a couple of old white men talkin trash 'bout liberals and the best way to yell at people to get off their lawn
thrilling topics
I think Trench was sent by God to make RWD Great Again!!!

You have a manner that somehow makes me smile. 

Sometimes I even laugh. 

And this time I  :ROFL:

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5805
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #232 on: April 22, 2019, 04:46:02 PM »
well the LORD works in mysterious ways
VERY mysterious


Offline Jamesukjames

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 736
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #233 on: April 22, 2019, 09:39:11 PM »
Read the first page not the rest will do later.  So matcho man you spout on here how much you earn and you date a girl who could be a Victoria secret model in Ukraine and jibe at a few dollars on fuel and cat food when you could have paid a lot more for a meal out with a big usa mama.  She s trying to see if you are worth dating and could be a provider for her and her kids.  These women have a feminine out look.  Your choice be a man and date a woman or go 50 50 with a femi Nazi.

Offline Jamesukjames

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 736
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #234 on: April 22, 2019, 09:49:43 PM »
As to your wheel chair scenario that's a man's brain thinking the way I used to think before divorce.  Transactional  is how a woman's brain works.  You have even proven that in your first marriage as have I.  Women are hardwired this way from evolution.  Only way to have the relationship you seek is go gay or marry your mother  that's the only way your wife will look after you in a wheel chair.

Offline Jamesukjames

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 736
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #235 on: April 22, 2019, 10:00:18 PM »
When it comes to Ukrainian women head east or north or south .  Western ukranains are less feminine and less genetically mixed.

Offline Boethius

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3072
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #236 on: April 23, 2019, 09:45:14 AM »

Transactional  is how a woman's brain works.

It may be the way the women you seek think.  It isn't how most women think.

Signed,

A woman.
When it comes to Ukrainian women head east or north or south .  Western ukranains are less feminine and less genetically mixed.

Ukrainians nationwide share about 89% of the same haplogroups, and most of that genetic material is also shared with Russians.

This post was composed without the aid of google.
« Last Edit: April 23, 2019, 12:40:03 PM by Boethius »
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8302
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • 🇺🇦
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #237 on: April 23, 2019, 01:51:08 PM »
Read the first page not the rest will do later.  So matcho man you spout on here how much you earn and you date a girl who could be a Victoria secret model in Ukraine and jibe at a few dollars on fuel and cat food when you could have paid a lot more for a meal out with a big usa mama.  She s trying to see if you are worth dating and could be a provider for her and her kids.  These women have a feminine out look.  Your choice be a man and date a woman or go 50 50 with a femi Nazi.

Good to see you back James :)

Well the first part I agree with, you get wealthy guys on hear not realise that there wealth is doing a lot for them. Hot girls hang out with them who normally wouldn't give them the time of day. I agree with you I think the cat food girl is transactional in mindset. Maybe in that way she doesn't introduce BB to family or friends because it's a business transaction and not a real personal relationship. Maybe that is seen as allowable under good girl rules as it's a transaction and not a scam even if she did not explain it directly. At the moment though BB is just enjoying her company (I assume) rather than sex with her.

I get the impression that UW will push for the for the biggest transaction they can get away with over time. They won't judge what is fair, just what is the likelihood of them getting it. They will leave it to the man to counter, it's up to him to negotiate a fair deal for himself. If they girl can get a lot and give a guy little in a lopsided deal to her benefit she will do, but at the same time depending on the guy some guys she'll find it more palletable to offer some stuff too than others.

The second point I have heard rejected in many quarters that it's not really a case of a guy proving he has the financial muscle, that is already assumed by his being there, being a WM and not showing anything to the contrary. Showing a girl you can afford this or that by buying her stuff is normally a road to disaster, she will just ask for more & more, quicker and quicker, more expensive stuff etc.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Boethius

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3072
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #238 on: April 23, 2019, 02:53:42 PM »
Exhibit A in the immediately preceding post evidencing why Trench gets "bullied" on this forum.


This post was composed without the aid of google.




After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5805
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #239 on: April 23, 2019, 03:07:28 PM »
oh I see, blame the victim!!!
why you see ladies and gentleman of the jury if she hadn't worn provocative clothing she wouldn't have been attacked...


Offline Boethius

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3072
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #240 on: April 23, 2019, 03:11:10 PM »
Quote
I get the impression that UW will push for the for the biggest transaction they can get away with over time. They won't judge what is fair, just what is the likelihood of them getting it.


Yes, all UW view all relationships as "transactional", which is why the vast majority of UW marry UM.  So WM who travel to Ukraine to get the "biggest bang for their buck" are poor, poor victims, needing protection from these avaracious women.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5805
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #241 on: April 23, 2019, 03:54:00 PM »
BO, I have met in Ukraine and even in the USA women who fit this description perfectly.
someone naïve will be quickly consumed by the many sharks that roam the seas
knowledge of sharks is not something we are born with
but must acquire after losing a few fingers, as I have done

I think a problem Trench has is his communication style he says “All” instead of “some” or “many” - his generalizations are too general

I have met ALL KINDS of people in Ukraine
but in general it’s a much more “dog eat dog” world than in the west
not a country for “naifs” which describes Trench pretty well, even me to when I was younger

Offline SteveInBoston

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 467
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #242 on: April 23, 2019, 06:53:35 PM »
So,

Back to the topic - being a gentleman or a chump.

I communicated with a beautiful woman from Odessa, who, after several messages back and forth, suggested we meet.  I said I was planning to visit there the next month.  She said she was bored of Odessa and suggested Geneva.  I quickly realized I was put in the Chump category. 

After deciding to meet T, we started making plans for what cities to visit and where to stay.  She picked a modest priced hotel in Kyiv, I picked an Airbnb apartment in Lviv, and she picked an expensive Hotel on the beach in Odessa.  I suggested a more reasonably priced place, but she really wanted to stay at M1 Club hotel.  The thought of her taking advantage crossed my mind, but I decided to be a gentleman and go with her wishes.

Everything went well, more than I hoped.  But one day, while in Odessa, she wanted me to take her shopping for shoes.  She got a pair of diesel sandals and made me get a couple pairs of stylish sneakers (she thought the ones I had were for dedushkas).  Of course I paid for everything, but the doubt crossed my mind.

A few days later we had a long talk, about past relationships and about how we felt about each other.  She said that she was still single and looking because the last two relationships failed because her boyfriends were from different lifestyles than hers.  One was a soldier who could afford basic things but not much else.  Her income was 4 times his and she felt awkward.  I realized the hotel and shopping was sort of a test from her, to see if I was who I said I was and could keep up with her. 

Odd thing, after our talk and we decided tomorrow be a couple, she turned out to be somewhat of a spendthrift.  When I mention we should dine at a nice restaurant she wants to go home and have a home cooked meal instead. Mostly, that is.  A few times she agreed to dine out if the restaurant I suggested had good reviews or were recommended by her friends.  And she doesn't have a large wardrobe.  She spends on pricy clothing for quality and doesn't go for quantity.


Gentleman or Chump.  Each situation is different.  Some are obvious, but some may need clarification by discussing the issue with the woman.  The cat food girl (what a nickname) - she could be leading BB on, or she could have been evaluating BB for his ability to provide.  A modest woman would not have asked for those things and would have waited for them to be offered, but maybe she wanted to be more direct and not waste either of their time.


Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5805
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #243 on: April 23, 2019, 07:28:52 PM »
In that situation, as long as you're getting some "Quo" for your "Quid" then this interaction is pretty much the norm IMHO
one way of avoiding the feeling you're being used is to make the choices yourself, and don't do cheap ones
before I'd make a big investment in travel and presents, I recommend conducting your own testing to make sure that your "trip" is not just you being taken for a ride


« Last Edit: April 23, 2019, 07:36:19 PM by krimster2 »

Offline Gator

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16987
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #244 on: April 23, 2019, 08:18:34 PM »


Back to the topic - being a gentleman or a chump.

She picked a modest priced hotel in Kyiv, I picked an Airbnb apartment in Lviv, and she picked an expensive Hotel on the beach in Odessa. ....She got a pair of diesel sandals and made me get a couple pairs of stylish sneakers......I realized the hotel and shopping was sort of a test from her, to see if I was who I said I was and could keep up with her......she turned out to be somewhat of a spendthrift.  When I mention we should dine at a nice restaurant she wants to go home and have a home cooked meal instead.

I vote you are a "champ" not a "chump."  I anticipate that if and when you marry (not necessarily to this woman) you would be comfortable with providing such a life together.

Offline Jamesukjames

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 736
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #245 on: April 23, 2019, 09:38:20 PM »
Obviously not statistical but my Latvian male friends when in Slavic  countries take a girl out on a first date if they like her give her 100 dollars and tell her to spend it on make up and clothes and come back for more when it's gone.  So it's a 2 way test .  He shows he's a provider she shows how fast she gets through money and what she spends it on.  It's a completely different mind set.  So you can understand how u w are confused by w m.  I know a few more Slavic men than just my former co workers and this seems to be how they roll.

Offline Jamesukjames

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 736
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #246 on: April 23, 2019, 09:41:05 PM »
And certainly I've been in Steve's position.  The women go extravagant at the beginning you explain the spending is not sustainable and they fall in line and start to run to a budget.

Offline rwd123

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 477
  • Country: ua
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: > 10
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #247 on: April 23, 2019, 10:21:16 PM »
I've said it before and I'll say it again - good women ask for NOTHING because they have pride (dignity).

When seeking a serious relationship, all women everywhere will shit test their guy. How they do that differs from woman to woman. Not all FSUW will test a guy's wallet. The odds are you are better off dumping a woman and moving on if she does - especially in Ukraine (yes there are exceptions but so are blue moons).

Offline JayH

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5685
  • Country: au
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Looking > 5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #248 on: April 23, 2019, 11:19:08 PM »
I've said it before and I'll say it again - good women ask for NOTHING because they have pride (dignity).

When seeking a serious relationship, all women everywhere will shit test their guy. How they do that differs from woman to woman. Not all FSUW will test a guy's wallet. The odds are you are better off dumping a woman and moving on if she does - especially in Ukraine (yes there are exceptions but so are blue moons).

You actually contradict yourself in the post.
My comment was going to  be one that applies to many comments earlier in the thread --
ie     Not one size fits all.
Every circumstance can be quite different  -- and all the generalisations are most likely not to be in a guys best interests.

eg  the TC got his knickers in a knot over spending about $300 on a girl --  and has spent the next 3 years writing & complaining  about it !  Basically -- he thinks spending zero is appropriate --even to the point of expecting a girl he meets to pay for her own coffee !
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5805
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #249 on: April 23, 2019, 11:31:54 PM »
non habetis argentum, nec mel
veni venit



 

+-RWD Stats

Members
Total Members: 8883
Latest: Leroy14
New This Month: 1
New This Week: 0
New Today: 0
Stats
Total Posts: 540892
Total Topics: 20846
Most Online Today: 1958
Most Online Ever: 12701
(January 14, 2020, 07:04:55 AM)
Users Online
Members: 9
Guests: 1386
Total: 1395

+-Recent Posts

Re: PreNups, Trusts, Offshore Accounts & Protecting yourself by Trenchcoat
Today at 05:43:43 PM

Re: PreNups, Trusts, Offshore Accounts & Protecting yourself by krimster2
Today at 09:57:47 AM

Re: PreNups, Trusts, Offshore Accounts & Protecting yourself by Bee Farmer
Today at 09:40:43 AM

Re: PreNups, Trusts, Offshore Accounts & Protecting yourself by Trenchcoat
Yesterday at 09:22:38 PM

Re: What to do by Trenchcoat
Yesterday at 07:03:55 PM

Bizarre activities, most of which took place in Florida by 2tallbill
Yesterday at 04:35:54 PM

Re: PreNups, Trusts, Offshore Accounts & Protecting yourself by krimster2
Yesterday at 03:02:23 PM

Re: PreNups, Trusts, Offshore Accounts & Protecting yourself by Bee Farmer
Yesterday at 02:03:09 PM

Re: PreNups, Trusts, Offshore Accounts & Protecting yourself by Trenchcoat
Yesterday at 01:16:05 PM

Re: PreNups, Trusts, Offshore Accounts & Protecting yourself by krimster2
Yesterday at 01:08:21 PM

Powered by EzPortal