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Author Topic: Time for some Humor!!  (Read 473617 times)

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Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #375 on: November 17, 2007, 09:35:09 PM »
the real purpose......
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline catzenmouse

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #376 on: November 18, 2007, 11:46:15 AM »
For those of you with a taste for something different. Enter this contest. Not sure what she would do to you but a Hydraulic Wench would sure give you a run for the money. Gotta love those typos...  :D
"Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal."
-- Louis K. Anspacher

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #377 on: November 18, 2007, 02:22:54 PM »
Boys are faster scientific proof
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #378 on: November 18, 2007, 02:46:48 PM »
flag burner..........you reap what you sow.........
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #379 on: November 18, 2007, 02:48:18 PM »
top of his class...........
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #380 on: November 18, 2007, 03:20:04 PM »
New words to grow your vocabulary............
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #381 on: November 18, 2007, 09:51:58 PM »
Golf...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?"
"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture.

We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end."

"I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's bum.

Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"


"I don't remember much after that ..."
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #382 on: November 18, 2007, 10:20:31 PM »
Blonde Joke.....

The pharmacist walks into the store to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. He asks the blonde clerk "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"

The blonde clerk responds: "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

The pharmacist yells: "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a laxative!"

The blonde clerk responds, "Of course you can! Look at him, he's afraid to cough."
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #383 on: November 18, 2007, 10:42:46 PM »
Quality Inns
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #384 on: November 18, 2007, 10:53:01 PM »
Ineptitude
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline Gator

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #385 on: November 18, 2007, 11:34:15 PM »
Appropriate considering recent threads about appearances

I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who this morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.

We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to  enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic".

"Wow!" I was flabbergasted.

"I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit grayer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have."

She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge".

"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few  inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Bulldog!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.

She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

So I told her to f*uck off.

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #386 on: November 19, 2007, 03:13:18 AM »
Liquid........
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #387 on: November 20, 2007, 12:03:47 PM »
Blondes..........


Subject: IS IT BECAUSE I AM BLONDE??????
Body: A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she
yelled
"we were counting today and all the other kids could only count to 4,
but I
counted to 10. See? 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!"
"Very good," said her Mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde?" Asked the girl.
"Yes, it's because your blonde," said the Mommy.

The next day the girl came skipping home from school. " Mommy, Mommy,"
she
yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, all the other kids could
only
say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,B,C,D,E,F,G!" "Very Good," said
her
Mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes it's because your blonde", said the Mommy.

The following day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy,
Mommy,"
she yelled, "we were in Gym class today, and when we showered all the
other
girls had flat chests, but I have these!" She lifted her tank top to
reveal
a pair of 36C's.

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde,
Mommy?"
"No Honey, it's because you're 24."
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline acrzybear

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #388 on: November 20, 2007, 12:30:55 PM »
Here's some politically incorrect humor, if you're offended-oh well




Hmmmm, Think Dad might have some issues? lol





And my favorite;

« Last Edit: November 20, 2007, 10:28:21 PM by acrzybear »
Necessitas dat ingenium

Offline jb

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #389 on: November 20, 2007, 02:35:29 PM »
How to tell if you are married to a Russian woman.

Offline jb

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #390 on: November 20, 2007, 02:37:06 PM »
I think Gator's woman has finally found a dog she likes.

Offline jb

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #391 on: November 20, 2007, 02:38:39 PM »
How to tell the bad girls from the good ones.

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #392 on: November 20, 2007, 03:33:54 PM »
How to tell the bad girls from the good ones.

So she is one of the Good ones?

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline jb

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #393 on: November 20, 2007, 05:21:36 PM »
I think that would depend entirely upon one's perspective.

Offline Ste

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #394 on: November 20, 2007, 05:21:53 PM »
I'm currently debating whether to post a joke i was told that is so sick it's prolly gonna get me a ban if I do.

If I don't, I just know i'll be inundated with PM's asking for it you dirty hounds....

Offline jb

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #395 on: November 20, 2007, 06:13:29 PM »
(tapping foot) still waiting, Ste.

Offline acrzybear

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #396 on: November 20, 2007, 10:31:19 PM »
(Tapping fingers on desk)  Waiting as well Ste.  If you had any bullocks you'd post it :D
Necessitas dat ingenium

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #397 on: November 21, 2007, 01:53:31 PM »
I'm currently debating whether to post a joke i was told that is so sick it's prolly gonna get me a ban if I do.

If I don't, I just know i'll be inundated with PM's asking for it you dirty hounds....

I don't know...........Ste is pretty twisted. If he thinks it's bad I am absolutely positive that it is.
I will read it if he posts it. Hopefully it doesn't warp my simple mind.

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #398 on: November 21, 2007, 01:55:33 PM »
Thanksgiving divorce.......

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #399 on: November 21, 2007, 02:25:52 PM »
From Holly Springs , Mississippi - A seven-year old boy was
at the center of a Marshall County courtroom drama this
morning when he challenged a court ruling over who should
have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten
by his parents, and the judge initially awarded custody to
his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation
requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest
degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt
beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to
live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live
with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also
beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate
family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a
way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented
step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with
the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary
custody to Coach Ed Oregron and the Ole Miss Rebels,
whom the boy and the judge firmly believe are no longer
capable of beating anyone.
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

 

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