How to Visit Many without lying?

[brownbeard99]

Sorry Bill...I kinda like what BB said although I agree it was too verbose...

If asked, why not just be straight.

If the following question is - 'Why are you in Ukraine?' - 'I have an opportunity to be in Ukraine and would like to meet people and explore further opportunity to possibly meet someone whom I can have a mutual interest with to pursue possible lasting relationship with.'

"Is that the only reason why you came to Ukraine"?: If the reason is such, then just respond 'yes'. If not, 'say it didn't work out with a gal I met online. It isn't a loss. We were just not compatible. This is reality.'

'Does this means you'll meet someone else besides me?'. 'That depends in how we spent the next few moments together.'

Then just look directly at her. If she fussed, end the drama. She ain't the one. Be gracious.

I know it sounds a but verbose, but... this was a refinement after a few tries. With shorter answers, there were always too many follow up questions.  This answer seemed to shut the girls up.  Also, I was using this explanation before I even got here.  This “line” is much better than the alternative.  Can you imagine telling a girl you are coming to Ukraine to see her for a week  after chatting with her for five minutes? That would make you look like a nutcase!

The funny thing is, I used to think that someday I would be some kind of guru on this forum... imparting my advice to the next generation of noobs.  Well, if things keep going the way they are, this will never happen.  I just sent my girl home in a car (second night in a row).  She’s coming over tomorrow and staying with me for the weekend.  I may end up with the first girl I ever dated in Ukraine... so much for gaining experience!

As much as I am hesitant to “buy the first pair of Ukrainian jeans I try on”, I’m tired of the game.. tired of looking for “a little better”.  This girl has everything on my checklist in spades.  If things continue in the right direction with this girl... I think she may be a keeper.

[jone]

Maybe I'm stealing thunder from your (potential) trip report.  But I'm trying to figure out if you ever met the gal who's family seemed like the mafia.   The one that was on a short vacation prior to meeting you?

[brownbeard99]

Maybe I'm stealing thunder from your (potential) trip report.  But I'm trying to figure out if you ever met the gal who's family seemed like the mafia.   The one that was on a short vacation prior to meeting you?

Lol, no...

I was set to meet her on Wednesday, but I ended up hooking up with a different girl on Tuesday night, so I sent the rich girl a very nice “thanks, but no thanks” letter. She took it well. I also cancelled a date with a girl I set something up with on Thursday.  This girl went apesh*t.. She went on a tirade, calling me a jerk and a liar... oh, well.

The funny thing is the rich girl actually lives in my same aparment building and knows where I am (she helped me set this place up).  This morning I had a knock on my door. I looked through the peephole and saw a hot blonde girl through the peephole... and it looked a lot like the rich girl.  I opened the door and the girl said something in Russian... acted like she knocked on the wrong door.  She just smiled and walked away.  Maybe it was the dutchess wanting to check me out... it all happened so quickly, so I guess I will never know...

[2tallbill]

Sorry Bill...I kinda like what BB said although I agree it was too verbose...

If asked, why not just be straight.

If the following question is - 'Why are you in Ukraine?' - 'I have an opportunity to be in Ukraine and would like to meet people and explore further opportunity to possibly meet someone whom I can have a mutual interest with to pursue possible lasting relationship with.'

Yes, I agree absolutely, it's an excellent answer when asked.

I wouldn't volunteer explaining why you are there in the initial contact. In the initial contact I would
make it all about the girl you are contacting and nothing else.

[brownbeard99]

Yes, I agree absolutely, it's an excellent answer when asked.

I wouldn't volunteer explaining why you are there in the initial contact. In the initial contact I would
make it all about the girl you are contacting and nothing else.

Every man has his own style. This worked for me. It helped weed out girls who may have an issue with this and went straight to a date with others.

I had four girls immediately respond with “Give me a call when you are in town. My number is.....”

There’s such an abundance of available women... you can make a sh*tload if mistakes (at least online) and still come out on top.  If things don’t work out with this girl, I have 10+ girls I can set something up with next month (after I come up with a good excuse... (keep an eye out for my thread “How to explain why you went to Ukraine and didn’t visit a girl you promised, without lying”)... or I can just start over.  I’ll figure that out later if things go south with this current girl.

On another note... the music video channel here plays a lot more Cardi B and Niki Minaj than they do in the US... there’s no escaping them!

[GQBlues]

Of course now you need to know you’re about to be elevated to what is known in the world of MOB as the ‘One Week Wonder’. It’s all good really. That moniker used to be a derogatory term but I would have you know there used to be a member here who named himself as such intentionally to mock his detractors. Matter of fact, the irony is many of his detractors actually flamed out of their marriages while he became one of the MOB success stories.

Enjoy the silence, man.

[brownbeard99]

Of course now you need to know you’re about to be elevated to what is known in the world of MOB as the ‘One Week Wonder’.

Too funny!

This reminds me of when I graduated from Aiborne school in the Army.

I was proud for about 2 minutes... then was reminded I was just a “Five Jump Chump”

I’m sure by the time I could possibly earn any “steet cred” around here, forums won’t even exist anymore.

[BillyB]

I was set to meet her on Wednesday, but I ended up hooking up with a different girl on Tuesday night, so I sent the rich girl a very nice “thanks, but no thanks” letter. She took it well.

Interesting turn of events. The girl that was worth travelling thousands of miles for is now a girl now worth seeing. Time will tell if the girl you're currently seeing is perfect or maybe another girl will come along and make you forget about this one.

[brownbeard99]

Interesting turn of events. The girl that was worth travelling thousands of miles for is now a girl now worth seeing. Time will tell if the girl you're currently seeing is perfect or maybe another girl will come along and make you forget about this one.

She had to go to work today, but she is coming over tonight (of course).

She just sent me a text telling me her mother and grandmother both want to meet me.  I’m guessing that is a good sign!?

[JayH]

She had to go to work today, but she is coming over tonight (of course).

She just sent me a text telling me her mother and grandmother both want to meet me.  I’m guessing that is a good sign!?

Given the beard she may be lining you up for babushka !

[BillyB]

She had to go to work today, but she is coming over tonight (of course).

She just sent me a text telling me her mother and grandmother both want to meet me.  I’m guessing that is a good sign!?

Definitely a good sign if you want to get serious with the girl. Be a gentleman and treat mom and grandma with respect and they'll love you.  Buy gifts  store showing up and offer your hand for a handshake. Use both your hands to shake their one. It's better that way.

[msmob]

Be sure to maintain eye contact when offered a handshake and do not offer to shake hands at the threshold - wait until you are in

[brownbeard99]

Given the beard she may be lining you up for babushka !

Believe it or not, the girl says she doesn’t want babushka!

[brownbeard99]

Definitely a good sign if you want to get serious with the girl. Be a gentleman and treat mom and grandma with respect and they'll love you.  Buy gifts  store showing up and offer your hand for a handshake. Use both your hands to shake their one. It's better that way.

I already had her give a box of chocolates to each of them on my behalf.  I guess that made a good impression!

[GQBlues]

Believe it or not, the girl says she doesn’t want babushka!

 

I think maybe Google led you astray. Babushka referred to means old woman/grandma. Not scarf.

[ML]

Believe it or not, the girl says she doesn’t want babushka!

Ask her if she wants a dedushka instead.

[Boethius]

She likely doesn't need another one, she found a foreign one already.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

[Boethius]

First, I’m trying to figure out if people on this forum are out of touch or were just f***ing with me on the beard thing. As a beard owner, I couldn’t help but notice beards are just as popular in Kiev as they are in the US... maybe even more popular... and a lot of these guys with beards had cute girlfriends too.  “Nuf said.

I recently returned from 2 months in Russia and Ukraine, with half that time spent in Kyiv.  I don't think you are correct on the beards.  I saw a lot of unshaven men but relatively few with beards (other than priests and monks), far less than among hipsters here.  Most of the bearded men I saw were foreigners. 


This post was composed without the aid of google.

[2tallbill]

Too funny!

This reminds me of when I graduated from Aiborne school in the Army.

I was proud for about 2 minutes... then was reminded I was just a “Five Jump Chump”

I’m sure by the time I could possibly earn any “street cred” around here, forums won’t even exist anymore.

If you find the girl on the first Trip then that's great. A one week wonder is a guy who meets
a girl in a week and then marries her. So don't do that, if you think she might be the girl
schedule another trip to go see her. Continue being cautiously optimistic and keep moving
things forward.

I visited Angel Eyes 4 times in Russia and she came to see me twice and then I married her
instead of sending her home.

Udachi!

Bill

[brownbeard99]

I recently returned from 2 months in Russia and Ukraine, with half that time spent in Kyiv.  I don't think you are correct on the beards.  I saw a lot of unshaven men but relatively few with beards (other than priests and monks), far less than among hipsters here.  Most of the bearded men I saw were foreigners.

It doesn’t matter if you are remembering back about two years in Ukraine and Russia.  I am here now... and you are conflating what is going on in Russia.  I have no clue what they are doing there.  I am specifically talking about Kyiv.  Maybe nobody has a beard in Moscow or Odessa or Lviv... I can only speak for Kyiv.

I have this little game I play when I am walking around... When I see a man with a beard, I say to myself “one” and then I count every unshaven man I see and see how high I can count until I see another man with a beard.  I have only gotten to ten twice. I have done this in neighborhoods far away from the touristy places like the City Center.  I would have to say that I pay WAAAAY more attention to this than anyone else.  I am not just making a casual observation.  I am actually counting... and I have not seen a single person I thought was a priest or monk... these are young guys with beautiful women hanging off their arms.  It is so blaringly obvious that the people on this forum are dead wrong about the beard situation, that I wanted to start taking pictures or videos of people just to post on here... but whatever... be wrong, I don’t give a crap.  If I showed you video, people would make more excuses as to why the video is wrong.  How about this... watch Ukrainian TV... look at Ukrainian ads... men have beards... I have a beard and I got the girl... and I had over a dozen backups who wanted to meet me... and they knew about the beard.

[brownbeard99]

If you find the girl on the first Trip then that's great. A one week wonder is a guy who meets
a girl in a week and then marries her. So don't do that, if you think she might be the girl
schedule another trip to go see her. Continue being cautiously optimistic and keep moving
things forward.

I visited Angel Eyes 4 times in Russia and she came to see me twice and then I married her
instead of sending her home.

Udachi!

Bill

I have no intentions of rushing anything.

I will fly to Europe in late December and we will spend a week together somewhere for New Years.  We discussed Madrid or possibly Paris.  This girl doesn’t want to feel like a mooch, so she will pay her own way.

If things go well, we will spend another two weeks togther in Kyiv in January.

Then I will be in The Netherlands for almost three months.  She said she wants to come visit me for a week or so (if we are still togther).

Then in April, I will return to Kyiv for another two weeks and spend time with her.

If all goes well, I will return to Kyiv for two months this summer.

To some, it may seem like we are getting ahead of ourselves by planning out so far.  The truth is, we both have busy schedules and recognize if we don’t plan things out now, it will never happen.  We agreed that we will still take things one day at a time and these travel plans are in pencil, but we have a solid plan going forward if we agree to continue to pursue a relationship.

We will asses everything this summer and see if we both want to start the visa paperwork.  Of course, we will have another 90 days after she gets here to make sure we want to go through with getting married.

[GQBlues]

...I have this little game I play when I am walking around... When I see a man with a beard, I say to myself “one” and then I count every unshaven man I see and see how high I can count until I see another man with a beard.  I have only gotten to ten twice. I have done this in neighborhoods far away from the touristy places like the City Center.  I would have to say that I pay WAAAAY more attention to this than anyone else.  I am not just making a casual observation.  I am actually counting... and I have not seen a single person I thought was a priest or monk... these are young guys with beautiful women hanging off their arms.  It is so blaringly obvious that the people on this forum are dead wrong about the beard situation, that I wanted to start taking pictures or videos of people just to post on here... but whatever... be wrong, I don’t give a crap.  If I showed you video, people would make more excuses as to why the video is wrong.  How about this... watch Ukrainian TV... look at Ukrainian ads... men have beards... I have a beard and I got the girl... and I had over a dozen backups who wanted to meet me... and they knew about the beard.

BB-

Doesn't really matter who is wrong, right or whatever regarding your beard. You already made the point you're sticking to it so win/lose or draw, your call. Move on from that regardless what other people say about it.

Just have fun out there...don't mind any of us on the board for a while...

[rwd123]

I would have to say that I pay WAAAAY more attention to this than anyone else.

You are familiar with the Baader–Meinhof phenomenon, yes? Though it is likely to cause you cognitive dissonance.

http://www.gravityideas.com/thinking/frequency-illusion

Good luck with your relationship but you are blinded by cognitive bias. If you type "ukraine male model" into a Google image search you'll see what is common.

I was once mistaken for a priest on a train, partly because I had a beard at the time. Sadly no donations were forthcoming.

[Boethius]

It doesn’t matter if you are remembering back about two years in Ukraine and Russia.  I am here now... and you are conflating what is going on in Russia.  I have no clue what they are doing there.  I am specifically talking about Kyiv.  Maybe nobody has a beard in Moscow or Odessa or Lviv... I can only speak for Kyiv.

No, I was in Kyiv for around five weeks, coming home not even a month ago.  My better half is a Kyianin, I studied there, and lived there.  In the time I was there, I mostly took trams and the metro - cheap and quicker than cars/taxis.  I was all over the city, not just where tourists congregate.  I was cheek to jowl with Ukrainians daily.  I would have noticed if there were a lot of men with beards, because it would have been unusual for Ukraine.  Yes, I saw a few - a couple in museums, a personal trainer giving lessons (and he was from the FSU, not Ukraine).

I have this little game I play when I am walking around... When I see a man with a beard, I say to myself “one” and then I count every unshaven man I see and see how high I can count until I see another man with a beard.  I have only gotten to ten twice. I have done this in neighborhoods far away from the touristy places like the City Center.  I would have to say that I pay WAAAAY more attention to this than anyone else.  I am not just making a casual observation.  I am actually counting... and I have not seen a single person I thought was a priest or monk... these are young guys with beautiful women hanging off their arms.  It is so blaringly obvious that the people on this forum are dead wrong about the beard situation, that I wanted to start taking pictures or videos of people just to post on here... but whatever... be wrong, I don’t give a crap.  If I showed you video, people would make more excuses as to why the video is wrong.  How about this... watch Ukrainian TV... look at Ukrainian ads... men have beards... I have a beard and I got the girl... and I had over a dozen backups who wanted to meet me... and they knew about the beard.

Yes, but most of the men you are seeing are foreigners.  There is still a bias against beards in Ukraine, even in careers.  I'm not saying I never see them, but far, far less than in the West.  Of the ten men you saw, it is likely half were foreigners.


I agree with rwd123.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

[Trenchcoat]

The guys with beards are all Russian spies

Sounds like it's not just Russians Ukraine is going to have to worry about but also your beard running amok BB

Seriously though when I asked the girl I was with last year about whether she prefered me clean shaven, stubble or beard she replied clean shaven.

Her reply was not an outright hate of beards but more a personal liking towards clen shaven. So I don't think it was a huge pet peeve of her of anything.

That said of this girl likes you a lot then she may not be bothered about it. Maybe she finds the difference intriguing. I think though that most UW probably prefer clean shaven but I don't think loads view beards as a major issue but probably more amother detail of a guy.