Los Angeles

[username33]

Hi,

I'd be interested in interviewing men who've married Russian or Ukrainian women, either happily or otherwise, so that I could possibly include your story in a book of essays I'm writing about the my experiences in Ukraine (one year in Kharkov, including marriage to a Russian) and the "mail-order bride" industry in general. I've spoken with agency owners and men looking, I've got a feel for the country and the women's perspective, but I haven't gotten the perspective of the man (or woman) who is already married. It might help shape the ending of the book. (And yes, I know there are testimonials here, including one recent one from San Diego that was very interesting and real, but it's really something I can only think to include or work from if I hear it from the speaker's mouth. It's important to see the person in his own element, at home or in the community, and with his wife or others. It gives texture to a piece.)

If you're interested, send me an email: StephanClark@gmail.com. You can also check out my blog: www.everybodyiloveyou.blogspot.com, if you're curious how I've been handling the subject.

[groovlstk]

Stephan,

Writers and germalists (as Ali G would say) don't often get a warm welcome here because it's usually safe to assume they are looking to hear stories about the most sordid and sensational aspects of international relationships.

I'm glad to see you're an exception to the rule and willing to write honestly about this topic. Your blog makes for wonderful reading. I particularly like your rebuttal to the Harper's piece, "The Great Ukrainian Bride Hunt," a small portion of which I'll quote here so others might be tempted to have a peek at your work:

Beyond that, Garin's insights seemed to go no deeper than the index cards he no doubt prepared before his trip ("This, then, was globalization’s answer to the mail-order brides of the Old West") while his comments on Ukrainian women ("I had the distinct impression that many were wearing their one nice outfit for the occasion") can only be read as being as informative as his stay in the country was long (two weeks).

I had a chuckle reading Kevin's gripe about the many opportunistic guys who visit Kherson Girls posing as journalists in order to get access to women

[username33]

Thanks for reading.

[billsetnor]

Stephan,

   I've just spent the past 30 minutes or so reading over your blog entries in August, along with Mr. Garin's Harper's article, and I intend to go further back in your Archives, as I enjoy the content and style of your writing.

   May I suggest you try to host a brunch in the L.A. area, perhaps under Dan's sponsorship here at RWD, as a way to get to know some of the guys down there who have been through the process.  Then, you might be in a better position to go deeper into their experiences on an individual basis.  Under the old regime at RWGuide, we had a Local Group that met several times down there.  No need to put out any money on your own; just find a place you'd like to meet (Sunday's a good day), put out the word, and everyone buys their own.

   Be prepared, however, for the ladies to possibly be reluctant to talk in any sort of detail about their married life.  It seems to be a typically Slavic trait, contrasting with our American willingness to tell Oprah anything she wants to know about our lives.

   Welcome to RWD, and I look forward to your further contributions (academics permitting).


Bill Setnor
San Jose, CA

   

[username33]

   Be prepared, however, for the ladies to possibly be reluctant to talk in any sort of detail about their married life.  It seems to be a typically Slavic trait, contrasting with our American willingness to tell Oprah anything she wants to know about our lives.

That's the gospel's truth, right there. A woman's perspective was hard to come by even in Ukraine, and I worried about that until I realized at last that the silence I was hearing was telling, characteristic. So those scenes where I attempt to speak with women are the scenes that will have to do.

Thanks for the advice, too.

As for the meeting in LA, that sounds good. I'll toss out a date if anyone's interested the 24th of September. (I'm up north this weekend, moving; and I'll need one weekend to settle in). I'm actually in North Hollywood, but I can get anywhere within an hour's drive. I'd be glad to hear some suggestions for a restaurant, if anyone's willing. Off the top of my head, I can't think of a good place -- I'm thinking large tables, the ability to bring a few together. Canter's Deli? I don't know. I haven't lived in LA in ten years. Last time I was here, everything was still half-burnt from the riots.

[username33]

Still interested in meeting with some men married to Russian or Ukrainian women, and would now offer meeting up in late November, early December. My wife should be over from Russia at that time, and maybe she could find some native speaker-friends through the group.

It'd be very informal, I wouldn't even pull out my pen if you're afraid of that.

[calmissile]

L.A. would be good for us, but might have to meet at a later session. I don't expect to be married until Feb-Mar 2012.  Would like to be notified of your future plans for meetings.

Also, do you know of any Ukrainian/Russian groups or activities in the L.A. or Inland Empire areas?  I am in Redlands/San Bernardino/Riverside area.

[SANDRO43]

Doug, look at the date of that post: 23-09-2006 .

[calmissile]

SANDRO43
 
I saw the date but it seemed like the most likely place couples from the FSU would come to meet each other.  Do you have a better suggestion?
Thanks,

Doug

[chrise]

Doug, there has been discussion on RUA of a one time meet up of couples from both the US and Canada sometime maybe late summer or fall of 2012 at the international gardens. It is a place people from both countries can meet without visa issues.

I think it would be a great time, and the best way to meet up with those good people we all have been meeting on the forums as well as the wives to swap stories. Anyone else here thinking they may be interested? Love to hear any input.

[bryan510]

I am in the Los Angeles area and I would like to know if anyone out there would mind meeting with me and talking with me about their experience meeting a FSU or Ukranine womam and bringing her to the states. I am not a writer or journalist. Just an individual that is interested in doing the same. Thank you,

[calmissile]

Sending you a PM.  Sorry , I did not see your post earlier.