Russian Women Discussion

RWD Discussion Groups => Experienced => Topic started by: Dell on April 15, 2017, 03:02:37 AM

Title: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on April 15, 2017, 03:02:37 AM
Greets all,

I just want to get some opinions here from experienced members. Do you find that when talking with FSUW you are the one who keeps initiating the conversation with her most of the time. Even after talking with her to a week or so. I find that the few woman I am talking with, will text me back but most of the time they don't start the conversation. Do you Think its because they are losing interest or do they think we should start the conversation?

A little information about me... I've been divorced for a year, I've been using the website tau2.com for six months. I have made two trips.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Patagonie on April 15, 2017, 04:14:50 AM
You site seems to be different from the others and trustworthy considering the informations
i have found out.

What you say, considering the details given means almost nothing, sorry.
Look : " Even after talking with her to a week or so. I find that the few woman I am talking with, will text me back but most of the time they don't start the conversation. Do you Think its because they are losing interest or they think we should start the conversation?"

I you have started the conversation why have they to start the conversation? It has been already done.

Why exactly are you complaining?

If you think that they loose interest, perhaps you could consider that you can raise their interest up, and work on it, no?

The most interesting from you is here : i have made two trips. May you tell us a litte more about it?
That's the most interesting to know what you have learnt from it.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Patagonie on April 15, 2017, 04:22:43 AM
Ok i read your posts, you are not a newbie and you are doing well.
I am a partisan of the write many visit many in one city.
So if you apply this strategy writing 5 weeks before you go, you would not complain too much about "how much women are interested or not".
YOu will get MORE interest when they know that you are coming, just get their phone number. They want you to be real, coming soon, and they know that all is about the meeting, the rest is a fantasy in the FSU world, except the ones who are less than 7 on the beauty scale or living in the countryside. The real women, the real beauties in the big cities have very few much time to decay on a keyboard.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Nightwish on April 15, 2017, 05:14:50 AM
Greets all,

I just want to get some opinions here from experienced members. Do you find that when talking with FSUW you are the one who keeps initiating the conversation with her most of the time. Even after talking with her to a week or so. I find that the few woman I am talking with, will text me back but most of the time they don't start the conversation. Do you Think its because they are losing interest or do they think we should start the conversation?

A little information about me... I've been divorced for a year, I've been using the website tau2.com for six months. I have made two trips.

Yes! They expect you to show them interest, they expect you to make the first move for a longer time.. all of a sudden that will change, that you will notice a dramatic change, but until then, you are the man, you should make the effort, and they enjoy the courting, "being pursued", part of the communication.

In a way you could say they test to see how serious you are.. now not all women are like this, but I found that for the part this is the way.
But when they decide you are worth their attention,oh boy you will notice that :)

The site you use.. a PPL site.. I wont go in to what most of us here think about them, but I did see they allow you to include your contact information in the letters, that's a bit unusual.

my two cents...
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on April 15, 2017, 05:35:27 AM
OK i read your posts, you are not a newbie and you are doing well.
I am a partisan of the write many visit many in one city.
So if you apply this strategy writing 5 weeks before you go, you would not complain too much about "how much women are interested or not".
You will get MORE interest when they know that you are coming, just get their phone number. They want you to be real, coming soon, and they know that all is about the meeting, the rest is a fantasy in the FSU world, except the ones who are less than 7 on the beauty scale or living in the countryside. The real women, the real beauties in the big cities have very few much time to decay on a keyboard.
Thanks for the advice. I just got back from a trip to Kiev a few days ago. I think I will not talk with any more woman except the ones I'm already engaging with. I'm going to make another trip in October. I will use this method.


Yes! They expect you to show them interest, they expect you to make the first move for a longer time.. all of a sudden that will change, that you will notice a dramatic change, but until then, you are the man, you should make the effort, and they enjoy the courting, "being pursued", part of the communication.

In a way you could say they test to see how serious you are.. now not all women are like this, but I found that for the part this is the way.
But when they decide you are worth their attention,oh boy you will notice that :)

The site you use.. a PPL site.. I wont go in to what most of us here think about them, but I did see they allow you to include your contact information in the letters, that's a bit unusual.

my two cents...
  Nightwish thanks for the reply. I guess I just need to keep pursuing them and letting them know I'm wanting to setup a meeting. After reading other peoples post around here, I'll switch to a different site.  Both woman and men on that site can send Cell, Email and Skype contact information to each other at anytime for a fee. If I like them, I try to move the conversation of the site asap. But like I mentioned in the other comment, I will switch sites.

Thanks!
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on April 15, 2017, 08:57:08 AM
If its PPL then what you are experiencing could be the tell tell signs that its just a cash generating exercise by the women you are talking to - you are literally paying them to talk to you, they have little genuine interest in what you say. They are likely replying to loads of guys a day, you are one of many and they probably don't even recollect what you last said. Go by your instincts and take your feelings by what they are trying to tell you, i.e its a red flag. You are likely losing both time & money by using that site and taking trips needlessly with little hope of meeting someone genuinely looking for a relationship. Do as you say you're going to do and find a decent pay monthly or free site. Then find a girl where you get a real sense that she is at least putting back into the conversation/relationship as you are putting in - discard any that aren't. Just hang out on these sites a while doing that and after a while a good one should come up. Best of Luck ;)
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: jone on April 15, 2017, 09:06:40 AM
Dell,

Welcome to our forum.  You'll find some excellent advice here.  But the only way to find that advice is to read.  And read.  And Read.

One repeating theme is that you will KNOW when a woman is into you.  You become her MAN and she will not only reciprocate initiating communication, but you will be subjected to a love heroin that overwhelms you.  You become the center of her world. 

I know that this post sounds kinda trite and unbelievable, but it is quite true.  These women are not like AWs.  They know how to put their whole lives on the line for their man.  When you receive such an outpouring, you will know it. 

Not having had that experience, yet, I can assure you that none of the women that you are talking to think that you're their man ..... yet.  And it may take a level of commitment on your side before they are willing to move to that level.

Do you tell them that you are contacting other women?  If so, at some point, that will need to be resolved in their minds.  Am wondering if you take small gifts with you?  And if Kyiv is the only city you have been to?  Kyiv is a big city, but many of the women there have met all sorts of Western Men.  Especially bride seekers.  My good friend Patagonie is correct (as usual).  Your first foray into Ukraine may just be a learning experience.  He was the expert at going into a lesser known (but big) Ukrainian city and meeting many women.  From this he chose one (or she chose him) and they are now married.

Very few men get this right on their first or second trip.  But we all wish you luck.  As Bill would say:  Udachi.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: jone on April 15, 2017, 09:17:19 AM
Dell,

You should know that I took a look at your site you've been using.  It is a PPL site, plain and simple.  If a woman in her 20s is looking for a guy in his sixties, you should run from any such interaction.   These women are there to get a paycheck.  Nothing more.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Patagonie on April 15, 2017, 11:36:34 AM
Dell,

Welcome to our forum.  You'll find some excellent advice here.  But the only way to find that advice is to read.  And read.  And Read.

One repeating theme is that you will KNOW when a woman is into you.  You become her MAN and she will not only reciprocate initiating communication, but you will be subjected to a love heroin that overwhelms you.  You become the center of her world. 

I know that this post sounds kinda trite and unbelievable, but it is quite true.  These women are not like AWs.  They know how to put their whole lives on the line for their man.  When you receive such an outpouring, you will know it. 

Not having had that experience, yet, I can assure you that none of the women that you are talking to think that you're their man ..... yet.  And it may take a level of commitment on your side before they are willing to move to that level.

Do you tell them that you are contacting other women?  If so, at some point, that will need to be resolved in their minds.  Am wondering if you take small gifts with you?  And if Kyiv is the only city you have been to?  Kyiv is a big city, but many of the women there have met all sorts of Western Men.  Especially bride seekers.  My good friend Patagonie is correct (as usual).  Your first foray into Ukraine may just be a learning experience.  He was the expert at going into a lesser known (but big) Ukrainian city and meeting many women.  From this he chose one (or she chose him) and they are now married.

Very few men get this right on their first or second trip.  But we all wish you luck.  As Bill would say:  Udachi.

Dear Jone,
LOL so true, when i tell to my wife i chose you, she answers every time, no I chose you.
Jone is right, when it's time to give you the special treatment you will know it, because this is how it works with FSU women, with AW it happens very rarely like that.
So for sure for the moment,  women haven't  hitted on you yet.
YOu need time for this endeavor, keep going...
I dated 50 ladies, few as GF before meeting my beloved wife.
Try to aim connecting cities around Kiev, there are not so many. You will find enough fishes i guarantee you.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: msmob on April 15, 2017, 12:32:08 PM
Dell,


As you are about to realise - there is no 'right' way - just what feels right for you and your prospective partner..

I absolutely DO NOT advise Write many visit many - based on MY experience - too many choices and I achieved more interesting experiences with writing a few and visiting one :)

Paying per letter is just throwing your money away. PLEASE listen to us .... we have wasted money and know !

You are 90 percent likely to fail to find a 'good woman' on such sites ... they are just emptying your wallet and massaging your ego ((



Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: 2tallbill on April 15, 2017, 01:52:51 PM
Thanks for the advice. I just got back from a trip to Kiev a few days ago. I think I will not talk with any more woman except the ones I'm already engaging with. I'm going to make another trip in October. I will use this method.

  Nightwish thanks for the reply. I guess I just need to keep pursuing them and letting them know I'm wanting to setup a meeting. After reading other peoples post around here, I'll switch to a different site.  Both woman and men on that site can send Cell, Email and Skype contact information to each other at anytime for a fee. If I like them, I try to move the conversation of the site asap. But like I mentioned in the other comment, I will switch sites.

Thanks!

Dell,

If the girl is genuinely interested in you, it will be easy to go around the site and talk to her
on skype or her cell phone. If the girl is employed by the site then she won't do it, she will
come up with all sorts of reasons that you need to contact her at the site only. If she won't
talk to you off site then you need to dump her and forget about her.

If there is a nominal fee that you have to pay to get her contact info then pay it. I was going
to look at the site, but if my wife catches me doing it I will be keeeeled and no use to you or
others.


The 10 commandments
1. Never send money to someone you have never met.

2. Always have a back-up plan.

3. Work to eliminate any agency from your communications.

4. Always get the lady's home address and home phone number as early as possible.

5. Verify the ladies you are writing to are real.

6. Do not fall in love with photos!!

7. Always be yourself. Show the ladies the real you. Be truthful. Use current photos.

8. Do not rush into this! Take your time and be methodical, not impulsive, about this process.

9. Treat international dating the same as dating someone from your home country. The biggest difference
is the cost (travel, phone. etc). This is an expensive process. Don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise.

10. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MAIL-ORDER BRIDE! They do not exist.


Here is a good how to get started thread
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0

Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Patagonie on April 15, 2017, 02:51:08 PM
9. Treat international dating the same as dating someone from your home country. The biggest difference
is the cost (travel, phone. etc). This is an expensive process. Don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise.

If you are living in NY and stay around you are not going to even write to a lady of Denver, LA or SF, you are going to date girls  50 miles or 100 miles around.

This is what a lot of guys don't understand with FSU, it's totally insane distances (added to your flight) and you will not know by writing to RANDOM women on the sites WHO you are going to visit. And you cannot play your cards more than twice or three times per year for the more persistant and willingness men.

As the meeting is critical for your chances, no videos, no chats is going to replace a meeting (and it works in both way, men and women). A lot of women are drived by men's smelling. If you don't smell good enough for her and you have spend 8 months to write every day, i let you digesting the big dissapointment that will smash you and all this time and money spent for nothing. Because sometimes, the conclusion is done in less than one hour (normally around 10 minutes). A lot of men finish their trip in their hotel with their right hand to reconfort themselves.

So writing to girls, yes you need to contact them (but if you use a local trusty agencies you can go blind, that's was my speciality, advantage they perfectly know that you are meeting many, that's acceptable for them), but RANDOMLY? see rule 9.

The problem is that internationnaly many men write with no strategy, targetting the most beautiful asses, with some parameters for the less foolish ones, and after there are often pissed off.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: ML on April 15, 2017, 03:24:33 PM
If a woman in her 20s is looking for a guy in his sixties, you should run from any such interaction.   

No, actually that is a pretty good situation.
She can be friends with your Granddaughter.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: msmob on April 15, 2017, 08:57:08 PM
9. Treat international dating the same as dating someone from your home country. The biggest difference
is the cost (travel, phone. etc). This is an expensive process. Don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise.

It is a huge mistake to treat this endeavour as the same as dating locally ...  the first thing to ditch should be that mentality!

 Yes, this is an expensive process - so better planning and eliminating randomness is a key factor

Skype - or similar contact aids - can eliminate much of the 'unknown' and in my opinion - getting on a plane to fly to meet someone you know v..little about  is the madness' ))




Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: wallm on April 16, 2017, 12:36:51 AM
It is a huge mistake to treat this endeavour as the same as dating locally ...  the first thing to ditch should be that mentality!

 Yes, this is an expensive process - so better planning and eliminating randomness is a key factor

Skype - or similar contact aids - can eliminate much of the 'unknown' and in my opinion - getting on a plane to fly to meet someone you know v..little about  is the madness' ))

I agree with this...mostly.

That makes my skin crawl....eew..... ;D
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: JayH on April 16, 2017, 01:47:48 AM
I agree with Pat. What I read him saying is this( he can elaborate) --  normalising a relationship is important. Now that is  distinct from it being like a vacation romance.
The novelty of a first meeting is all good -- but it is the test of time that should be heeded.
Preliminary electronic interaction is all good --but that is all it is. After meeting-- it becomes far more meaningful .

One of the issues I am always sceptical about is the guy that has marginal pre contact--is there for a week or so ( or worse --meets her away from home ,maybe in vacation type environment) and then signs on to get married. It can happen and all be good-- but the odds say it is not a sane way to go.

My other thought-- is for a guy to be there as she goes about HER everyday life -- and you have to fit in around that .That will test many- that is certain.

I know some here believe in head over heels type love -- but all too often that can be confused with the basic instincts of being new partners .

That is the sort of thing I categorise as normalising a relationship.


Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on April 16, 2017, 05:31:27 AM
Dell,

Welcome to our forum.  You'll find some excellent advice here.  But the only way to find that advice is to read.  And read.  And Read.

One repeating theme is that you will KNOW when a woman is into you.  You become her MAN and she will not only reciprocate initiating communication, but you will be subjected to a love heroin that overwhelms you.  You become the center of her world. 

I know that this post sounds kinda trite and unbelievable, but it is quite true.  These women are not like AWs.  They know how to put their whole lives on the line for their man.  When you receive such an outpouring, you will know it. 

Not having had that experience, yet, I can assure you that none of the women that you are talking to think that you're their man ..... yet.  And it may take a level of commitment on your side before they are willing to move to that level.

Do you tell them that you are contacting other women?  If so, at some point, that will need to be resolved in their minds.  Am wondering if you take small gifts with you?  And if Kyiv is the only city you have been to?  Kyiv is a big city, but many of the women there have met all sorts of Western Men.  Especially bride seekers.  My good friend Patagonie is correct (as usual).  Your first foray into Ukraine may just be a learning experience.  He was the expert at going into a lesser known (but big) Ukrainian city and meeting many women.  From this he chose one (or she chose him) and they are now married.

Very few men get this right on their first or second trip.  But we all wish you luck.  As Bill would say:  Udachi.
I Do not tell them I'm talking to other woman. I took a small gift on my first trip, but not on the second one. I've been to small a town in Belarus. In Ukraine I went to Kyiv and a town a few hours outside of Kyi to meet someone.  I have meet a total four FSUW on my trips. I'm a very seasoned traveler. Plus my ex-wife was from Russia. I have also traveled to Russia. We meet in the U.S though. I loved Ukraine! Great city and beautiful people.

I like writing a few and meeting one.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on April 16, 2017, 05:40:40 AM
If its PPL then what you are experiencing could be the tell tell signs that its just a cash generating exercise by the women you are talking to - you are literally paying them to talk to you, they have little genuine interest in what you say. They are likely replying to loads of guys a day, you are one of many and they probably don't even recollect what you last said. Go by your instincts and take your feelings by what they are trying to tell you, i.e its a red flag. You are likely losing both time & money by using that site and taking trips needlessly with little hope of meeting someone genuinely looking for a relationship. Do as you say you're going to do and find a decent pay monthly or free site. Then find a girl where you get a real sense that she is at least putting back into the conversation/relationship as you are putting in - discard any that aren't. Just hang out on these sites a while doing that and after a while a good one should come up. Best of Luck ;)

I deleted my account on that site, because I trust what you guys are telling me. I am still communicating with four woman. One I have already meet on my first trip. She was amazing. We had a great time and really clicked. she wanted to move the relationship to the next phase. But I wasn't ready. I know I'm an idiot. I guess I was shocked, I meet someone on my first trip like that, and was thinking maybe to hold out and see if something better comes along.

Also I will only talk with women that are no more than ten years younger than me. Any thing pass that, I'm not interested. If your wondering I'm in my early 40s. No kids.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: GQBlues on April 16, 2017, 09:14:46 AM
Greets all,

I just want to get some opinions here from experienced members. Do you find that when talking with FSUW you are the one who keeps initiating the conversation with her most of the time. Even after talking with her to a week or so. I find that the few woman I am talking with, will text me back but most of the time they don't start the conversation. Do you Think its because they are losing interest or do they think we should start the conversation?

A little information about me... I've been divorced for a year, I've been using the website tau2.com for six months. I have made two trips.

My experience in this is apparently different than every one else. All my conversations with the women I went through in my experience had all been fluid and entertaining. Most even went out of their way to show more than a passing interest.

Note: This was over 10 years ago. Before skype/messenger/easy text/WhatsApp, etc...

Two of the women from Moscow actually calls me here in LA just to chat. One would initiate brisk email dispatches (slow version of text messaging - with questions, summary of her day's activities, etc...). Another gal, an attorney, is prone to be so inquisive with me I was getting the feeling I was in a deposition every time I speak with her. My wife used to write down questions in English before we speak on the phone since she was at the time slightly less than a 1 in a scale of 1-5 in the language scale.  I had never once felt *I* had to go out of my way to show interest in any of them after all our respective initial intro exchanges.

This were all BEFORE I met any of them in person. It only got more intense after.

If you've met these gals in person already, and you're still getting the feeling *something's amiss*. Time to listen and trust your instinct instead of folks in the internet you do not know. Men who's dating experience and/or skills is largely *unknown* to you. Hence, their experiences being shared is undoubtedly more to do about them than the women they're portraying to you.

Either way, good luck.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on April 16, 2017, 12:14:16 PM
I deleted my account on that site, because I trust what you guys are telling me. I am still communicating with four woman. One I have already meet on my first trip. She was amazing. We had a great time and really clicked. she wanted to move the relationship to the next phase. But I wasn't ready. I know I'm an idiot. I guess I was shocked, I meet someone on my first trip like that, and was thinking maybe to hold out and see if something better comes along.

Also I will only talk with women that are no more than ten years younger than me. Any thing pass that, I'm not interested. If your wondering I'm in my early 40s. No kids.

:deadhorse: Man, if you meet someone like that then go for it! Isn't that the whole point of doing all of this. Most guys here would give their right arm to luck out on the first trip like that and you passed her over, lol. Holding out is a real mistake unless of course there is some nagging feeling that she is not the one for you. The women tend to move on if they sense any sort of holding out or seeing what else there is around. Wall on here has been in that precise situation where he wanted to look around and the woman did not appreciate it and moved on - he has since found someone else but lesson learnt I hope. I very much hope I don't make the same mistake, I think there is a real tendency to 'kid in a candy store' mentality as there are so many nice women over there, but perhaps only a few could be right ones to be with. If there is any chance you might can salvage this (often there isn't) then you might want to. Getting a girl of a PPL site is a real high gamble, I would though be cautious that she was genuine towards you and not a professional entertainer or on shop interpreter, dinner date, shopping scam.

Seriously if a girl comes along that is right for you, don't pass the opportunity up, just let the moment become right over time as you get to know her. Also, While girls in their thirties are likely to be mostly serious about a relationship even some younger girls can be serious also but personally I wouldn't go over say a 15 year age gap as even for me that could become odd.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: 2tallbill on April 16, 2017, 12:26:13 PM
If you've met these gals in person already, and you're still getting the feeling *something's amiss*. Time to listen and trust your instinct instead of folks in the internet you do not know. Men who's dating experience and/or skills is largely *unknown* to you. Hence, their experiences being shared is undoubtedly more to do about them than the women they're portraying to you.

Either way, good luck.

If you've met these girls in person and something amiss, then dump the girl and
move on. Just because she is eye candy isn't a reason to keep things going with a
girl.

NOTE: 2tallbill's theory
If you meet a girl (Betty) in person and then go date another girl (Barbi) the next
day. Then you never date Betty again. If Betty was the girl for you, then you
wouldn't have dated Barbi.  Let Betty move on with her life and you move on
with yours. 

If you date Betty again you are just wasting your time and hers. Betty is a
second place girl at best. You aren't going to marry a second place girl. Betty
doesn't want to be a second place girl either she wants to be a first place
girl. The sooner you dump Betty the sooner you can find your future
Mrs. ____________ your name here and Betty can find her soulmate.

My operating theory as it relates to the OP

If you meet a girl in Minsk, then go on to meet a girl in Ivano-Frankivsk.
If things don't work out with Ivano-F you don't go back to Miss Minsk
because she was a second place girl or you wouldn't have gone on to
meet Miss Ivano-F

Don't date the second place girls, you want  first place girl only.

That's my two kopecks

Bill
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: ML on April 16, 2017, 02:45:43 PM
If you've met these girls in person and something amiss, then dump the girl and
move on. Just because she is eye candy isn't a reason to keep things going with a
girl.

NOTE: 2tallbill's theory
If you meet a girl (Betty) in person and then go date another girl (Barbi) the next
day. Then you never date Betty again. If Betty was the girl for you, then you
wouldn't have dated Barbi.  Let Betty move on with her life and you move on
with yours. 

If you date Betty again you are just wasting your time and hers. Betty is a
second place girl at best. You aren't going to marry a second place girl. Betty
doesn't want to be a second place girl either she wants to be a first place
girl. The sooner you dump Betty the sooner you can find your future
Mrs. ____________ your name here and Betty can find her soulmate.

My operating theory as it relates to the OP

If you meet a girl in Minsk, then go on to meet a girl in Ivano-Frankivsk.
If things don't work out with Ivano-F you don't go back to Miss Minsk
because she was a second place girl or you wouldn't have gone on to
meet Miss Ivano-F

Don't date the second place girls, you want  first place girl only.

That's my two kopecks

Bill

I understand your logic Big Bill.

However, there are sometimes (maybe often) when two people just don't click the first time around.
But later, perhaps due to many reasons, they do click on a second go-around.
Sure there can be love at first sight . . . but can also be love at second (or later) sight.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: BillyB on April 16, 2017, 08:11:59 PM
Greets all,

I just want to get some opinions here from experienced members. Do you find that when talking with FSUW you are the one who keeps initiating the conversation with her most of the time. Even after talking with her to a week or so. I find that the few woman I am talking with, will text me back but most of the time they don't start the conversation. Do you Think its because they are losing interest or do they think we should start the conversation?


You are the MAN. With these women the MAN is supposed to lead. Start the conversation and end it before they do. Almost always I end the phone conversation before the ladies do. If you are talking to them and they are talking to you, that is a good thing even though they didn't initiate the conversation. When the women don't want to talk to you at all, that's when you need to worry.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: wallm on April 16, 2017, 08:42:39 PM
Wall on here has been in that precise situation where he wanted to look around and the woman did not appreciate it and moved on - he has since found someone else but lesson learnt I hope.

Why is my screwup brought up again and again? Actually I pursued this lady only, even after I met others. She could not have known I went to see others unless she had ESP....She chose not to be pursued by me and instead searched for local men. She didn't speak much English and communication difficulties may have been too much to deal with for her. And she is tall, gorgeous blonde with a killer body and smile. I am not any of that. ;D Perhaps she wanted a better deal like the OP. :D

So, my suggestion is same as 2tallbill's. When you find one, don't try to get a better deal. Stop and pursue. I am doing that with my current lady.

As for why they may not initiate conversation, they could be busy with jobs. Don't demand too much of their time they can't give you. It may turn them off. I know Ukranian ladies like to be pursued and don't want anyone to save them. Make them feel pursued. Keep initiating conversations.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Patagonie on April 17, 2017, 11:12:09 AM
Quote from: 2tallbill on Yesterday at 01:26:13 PM (http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=21859.msg460604#msg460604)<blockquote>If you've met these girls in person and something amiss, then dump the girl and
move on. Just because she is eye candy isn't a reason to keep things going with a
girl.

NOTE: 2tallbill's theory
If you meet a girl (Betty) in person and then go date another girl (Barbi) the next
day. Then you never date Betty again. If Betty was the girl for you, then you
wouldn't have dated Barbi.  Let Betty move on with her life and you move on
with yours. 

If you date Betty again you are just wasting your time and hers. Betty is a
second place girl at best. You aren't going to marry a second place girl. Betty
doesn't want to be a second place girl either she wants to be a first place
girl. The sooner you dump Betty the sooner you can find your future
Mrs. ____________ your name here and Betty can find her soulmate.

My operating theory as it relates to the OP

If you meet a girl in Minsk, then go on to meet a girl in Ivano-Frankivsk.
If things don't work out with Ivano-F you don't go back to Miss Minsk
because she was a second place girl or you wouldn't have gone on to
meet Miss Ivano-F

Don't date the second place girls, you want  first place girl only.

That's my two kopecks

Bill
</blockquote>ML
I understand your logic Big Bill.

However, there are sometimes (maybe often) when two people just don't click the first time around.
But later, perhaps due to many reasons, they do click on a second go-around.
Sure there can be love at first sight . . . but can also be love at second (or later) sight.
ML
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I understand both opinions, but i have a personal slighty understanding of this.

If there is not too much stakes in the meetings because you use an agency or a middleman or because you have
had only few mails or chats with the ladies you can meet several (say 8 in three days) and come back to the first or the second. But you have to do this in the maximum following three days. If  possible you need to keep in touch with her, or she will feell herself as being a second meat. They accept this providing that the relationship before the meeting is barely nonexistent.
(that's why writing too much to ladies is counterproductive with the meet many in one trip in the same city)


If you have been highly involved with her, by the time spent chatting or skyping, and especially if she is emotionnaly invested, you should keep up with her and only with her, or drop her purely and simply. I am with Bill for this one. Question of respect for the lady.

If you think that a woman is kind of interest and desserve further investigation you should stay focused on her and only on her, before aborting and changing of target.

You should enter in a unique relationship, without chasing other gals at a moment.
THe problem is that many guys do this too early or too late, and often they don't know if the woman has followed them on the monogamy path.
Sometimes has said ML life put you back on the track of lady you met before and it's time you to remind her (my wife). That's great if you are both serious to let it happen.



Title: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: 2tallbill on April 17, 2017, 01:44:46 PM
It is a huge mistake to treat this endeavour as the same as dating locally ...  the first thing to ditch should be that mentality!

 Yes, this is an expensive process - so better planning and eliminating randomness is a key factor

Skype - or similar contact aids - can eliminate much of the 'unknown' and in my opinion - getting on a plane to fly to meet someone you know v..little about  is the madness' ))

I think one of the points of "same as dating locally" is that if you wouldn't by a pair of boots
for a local girl after two dates then you shouldn't do it in a foreign relationship either. If you
wouldn't marry a local girl after a whirlwind 10 day romance then don't do it in an international
relationship either.

I think that commandment could have been written to include more things, like don't excuse bad
behavior as cultural differences. Don't do something radically different than you would with a local
girl etc.

Title: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: 2tallbill on April 17, 2017, 02:19:59 PM
I understand your logic Big Bill.

However, there are sometimes (maybe often) when two people just don't click the first time around.
But later, perhaps due to many reasons, they do click on a second go-around.
Sure there can be love at first sight . . . but can also be love at second (or later) sight.

ML there are certainly exceptions to every rule. Experienced guys can certainly break
various rules when they deem necessary.

Men in this pursuit tend to collect strays and waste their time on them because they are hot,
or they seem nice but aren't the girl for them and they even do it because they have a free
spot on Thursday afternoon and the girl will agree to meet with them again.

A guy has to be a relatively good judge of character and he needs to be fairly good at
making decisions to be successful. (Or he can be insanely lucky) I have seen many, many
guys make a visit many trip and date the same 3rd place girl just because they were free
on a Tuesday night. This is bad on a dozen levels, (I know you get it but I am explaining
for the newbies who read this).

If you date Debbie when she isn't the one, then you are wasting poor Debbie's time. You are
making Debbie less likely to agree to meet Steve from Baltimore an accountant who is visiting
next week, because she becomes less enamored over the sincerity of foreign men. If you date
Debbie again then you aren't beating the bushes for the elusive girl of your dreams. You are
confusing yourself and other girls.

One of the key tactics of meeting many is sifting. You have to sift through a large number
of girls in person face to face. Most men have limited time with boots on the ground and it's
important to maximize that time. Dating a girl who isn't "the" girl is a time wasting mistake
that gets made all of the time in many trips over and over.

Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: jone on April 17, 2017, 03:27:22 PM
I'm so confused.  Should I hook up with Steve, the accountant?
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: LAman on April 17, 2017, 06:22:49 PM
I'm so confused.  Should I hook up with Steve, the accountant?

I guess not if he is a '3rd place' date!! ???
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on April 17, 2017, 08:00:39 PM
First I would just like to say, all you guys are great and thank you for sharing your wealth of experience with me. It's much appreciated

I have a few updates. I'm talking with four woman from that site through, Skype, Viber and Phone. I have pretty much weeded through the other two and will now focus on the two that are left. There's one woman I am really digging. We talk everyday and now we are communicating through Skype video chat. Also we have a lot in common. She the one that made me start this thread and ask for advice. She stopped talking to me for a few days, because she was thinking I might be a keyboard romeo, that I was doing this for entertainment and was not serious. I was already going to delete my account on the site, after you guys advised me. So I told her that I will remove my account to show her that I was serious. she removed her account. Now she's talking up a storm with me again. It's great.

For me non of this is reality untill I land in there home town and we interact together for multiple days to see if the same chemistry happens in person. I am setting up a time to meet her. 

I'm not registered on any other sites. I will see how it goes with these two woman. If it doesn't workout. I will start again on Elena's Models.

I will keep everyone updated on the process.

Thanks!

2tallbill

You are Right! I need to move on and not waste mine or her time!!
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Patagonie on April 17, 2017, 11:35:00 PM
Now you need to go and meet this one to know if she is the one.

However i would check if she is active or not on other sites and agencies, so you are capable to refine your game accordingly.
She can remove her account on one site to play a tactical advantage and have others cards on her hand.

I would say it starts good  ;D
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on April 17, 2017, 11:43:35 PM
Now you need to go and meet this one to know if she is the one.

However i would check if she is active or not on other sites and agencies, so you are capable to refine your game accordingly.
She can remove her account on one site to play a tactical advantage and have others cards on her hand.

I would say it starts good  ;D


I'm planing to go see her at the end of May.  I'm filling out all the visa application forms now. Is it hard to get a three year multi-entery tourist visa? I will check other sites also thinks!
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: jone on April 17, 2017, 11:59:52 PM
First I would just like to say, all you guys are great and thank you for sharing your wealth of experience with me. It's much appreciated

I have a few updates. I'm talking with four woman from that site through, Skype, Viber and Phone. I have pretty much weeded through the other two and will now focus on the two that are left. There's one woman I am really digging. We talk everyday and now we are communicating through Skype video chat. Also we have a lot in common. She the one that made me start this thread and ask for advice. She stopped talking to me for a few days, because she was thinking I might be a keyboard romeo, that I was doing this for entertainment and was not serious. I was already going to delete my account on the site, after you guys advised me. So I told her that I will remove my account to show her that I was serious. she removed her account. Now she's talking up a storm with me again. It's great.

For me non of this is reality untill I land in there home town and we interact together for multiple days to see if the same chemistry happens in person. I am setting up a time to meet her. 

I'm not registered on any other sites. I will see how it goes with these two woman. If it doesn't workout. I will start again on Elena's Models.

I will keep everyone updated on the process.

Thanks!

2tallbill

You are Right! I need to move on and not waste mine or her time!!

Just remember.  Anywhere you go.  Always have a backup plan. 
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: HoundDaddyLee on April 18, 2017, 03:28:35 PM
I'm planing to go see her at the end of May.  I'm filling out all the visa application forms now. Is it hard to get a three year multi-entery tourist visa? I will check other sites also thinks!


If this is the gal from Belarus, there is no multi-entry visas available. Only per trip. If it is another country I wouldn't know. No visa is needed for Ukraine.


Hope this helps,
HDL
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on April 18, 2017, 09:58:23 PM

If this is the gal from Belarus, there is no multi-entry visas available. Only per trip. If it is another country I wouldn't know. No visa is needed for Ukraine.


Hope this helps,
HDL


No this lady is from Russia.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on May 05, 2017, 07:22:34 AM
I have an update to share with the group. I received my Russian three year multi-entry visa. But now I have a dilemma. I would like to get the advice of the experienced members.

After leaving the dating site, I have been communicate with three woman via. Viber, and Skype.  I am liking all three woman so far.

I have meet one in person when I was in Ukraine. But we only had coffee once and have since been chatting. I will call her Blonde. Blonde and I talk often, but not everyday. Not good with the english language.

The second woman, I will call Belarus. We talk everyday multiple times a day, through sms, and video chat. She's always wanting to communicate with me. She goes out of her way to talk with me. I really get a good feeling about here! Great family values. I have talked with Belarus for almost a month. She seem like she is already getting attached. English language is good.

The third woman , I will call Russia. We sms everyday multiple times a day. We video chat around twice a week. She has a strong character and we have already bumped heads twice. We laugh and have fun communicating, plus we have a lot in common. Great family family values. I like her.  I do like Belarus a little more. I have talked with Russia for two month. English language is great.

I know that it doesn't matter what relationships I have built up through sms and video chatting. Non of it is really until you meet and visit with each other for multiple days.

My dilemma is that Russia wants me to visit by the end of the month. Belarus wants me to come asap. I can push her back till the end June.  Would you guys visit both or pick only one? I have the means to visit both.

If either woman know I was talking with another woman, all communication would end.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: HoundDaddyLee on May 05, 2017, 07:52:09 AM
Hi Dell,


You have the Russian Visa, so easy to visit Russian girl. If she is in Moscow, then you can get a quick trip to Belarus (Minsk) in as well. You will need a separate visa for Belarus though (I believe if it is 5 days or less you will not need a Belarus Visa, but check on that). So depending upon the location of the ladies, you should be able to visit both.


Good Luck,
HDL
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: ML on May 05, 2017, 11:38:51 AM
Have the Russian gal help you get info regarding visa to Belarus.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: msmob on May 05, 2017, 11:41:51 AM
The 5 day - turn up Visa  - only works for entering BL via Moinsk airport
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: LAman on May 05, 2017, 12:22:27 PM
Hi Dell,


You have the Russian Visa, so easy to visit Russian girl. If she is in Moscow, then you can get a quick trip to Belarus (Minsk) in as well. You will need a separate visa for Belarus though (I believe if it is 5 days or less you will not need a Belarus Visa, but check on that). So depending upon the location of the ladies, you should be able to visit both.


Good Luck,
HDL

One problem with your recommendation, you cannot travel from Moscow to Belarus (Minsk) and qualify for 5 day visa, you would need to obtain regular visa.

Now an alternative is to fly through Riga or Chisinau from Moscow would qualify.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: jone on May 05, 2017, 12:43:19 PM
Have the Russian gal help you get info regarding visa to Belarus.

You do know ML is teasing you, yes?
Title: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: 2tallbill on May 05, 2017, 01:45:41 PM
My dilemma is that Russia wants me to visit by the end of the month. Belarus wants me to come asap. I can push her back till the end June.  Would you guys visit both or pick only one? I have the means to visit both.

If either woman know I was talking with another woman, all communication would end.

Dell,

That's one of the many problems of using visit one tactics with 
a visit many strategy. When you want to visit many you don't
have a long correspondence. When you want to visit one you
have a long correspondence until you narrow it down to one.

My guess is that there is a 98% chance that you will get busted
eventually if you visit both girls. FSUW are pretty good detectives
and they will suspect that you are doing this or something similar.

Pick one of the girls and go visit her. If you hit it off then dump
the other girl. If you don't hit it off then dump her and then it's
up to you to decide if you visit the other girl. My theory is don't
because she is your second choice and you only want a first
choice girl and she wants to be your first choice as well.

The odds of her figuring out that you visited the other girl
are very high. You will have evidence in your passport with
date stamps of your guilt. Plus you will have to stop communications with one while visiting the other.

The other girl will figure out what days you went AWOL.

Personally, if I spent all the time you did with correspondence,
I would determine which girl I liked the best then visit her
and dump the other making sure I had a back up plan.
You can try to be James Bond, but I can promise you that
the girl you visit second is a better detective than you are at
hiding or concealing stuff.

Udachi!

Bill


Have the Russian gal help you get info regarding visa to Belarus.

He might as well

(http://rsmg.pbsrc.com/albums/v223/misterdoe/graphix/0_rofl.gif~c200)
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: wallm on May 05, 2017, 02:08:40 PM
My guess is that there is a 98% chance that you will get busted eventually if you visit both girls.

Was there a study with empirical data to back this 98% up?  :D

Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: ML on May 05, 2017, 03:55:37 PM
Was there a study with empirical data to back this 98% up?  :D

It was a 'double blind' study using random samples for test group and control group.
Was actually 97.62, but I think Big Bill rounded up.
Common tactic with sales people to overstate their case.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on May 06, 2017, 05:10:33 AM
Dell,

That's one of the many problems of using visit one tactics with 
a visit many strategy. When you want to visit many you don't
have a long correspondence. When you want to visit one you
have a long correspondence until you narrow it down to one.

My guess is that there is a 98% chance that you will get busted
eventually if you visit both girls. FSUW are pretty good detectives
and they will suspect that you are doing this or something similar.

Pick one of the girls and go visit her. If you hit it off then dump
the other girl. If you don't hit it off then dump her and then it's
up to you to decide if you visit the other girl. My theory is don't
because she is your second choice and you only want a first
choice girl and she wants to be your first choice as well.

The odds of her figuring out that you visited the other girl
are very high. You will have evidence in your passport with
date stamps of your guilt. Plus you will have to stop communications with one while visiting the other.

The other girl will figure out what days you went AWOL.

Personally, if I spent all the time you did with correspondence,
I would determine which girl I liked the best then visit her
and dump the other making sure I had a back up plan.
You can try to be James Bond, but I can promise you that
the girl you visit second is a better detective than you are at
hiding or concealing stuff.

Udachi!

Bill


He might as well

(http://)


You guys crack me up! I'm glad you'll are finding amusement in my journey.  :popcorn: Because I know I am!!

Your Right!! My only trepidation is that after taking two trips, I'm finding out you can have great chemistry online video chatting, but once you get there and meet them a few times, I find out there not the one. 

I should also clarify I have only been talking to Russia for one month now.

I'm going to stick to my original plan and visit Russia. I will keep you guys posted... Stay tuned!!!
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Patagonie on May 06, 2017, 06:45:01 AM
I have an update to share with the group. I received my Russian three year multi-entry visa. But now I have a dilemma. I would like to get the advice of the experienced members.

After leaving the dating site, I have been communicate with three woman via. Viber, and Skype.  I am liking all three woman so far.

I have meet one in person when I was in Ukraine. But we only had coffee once and have since been chatting. I will call her Blonde. Blonde and I talk often, but not everyday. Not good with the english language.

The second woman, I will call Belarus. We talk everyday multiple times a day, through sms, and video chat. She's always wanting to communicate with me. She goes out of her way to talk with me. I really get a good feeling about here! Great family values. I have talked with Belarus for almost a month. She seem like she is already getting attached. English language is good.

The third woman , I will call Russia. We sms everyday multiple times a day. We video chat around twice a week. She has a strong character and we have already bumped heads twice. We laugh and have fun communicating, plus we have a lot in common. Great family family values. I like her.  I do like Belarus a little more. I have talked with Russia for two month. English language is great.

I know that it doesn't matter what relationships I have built up through sms and video chatting. Non of it is really until you meet and visit with each other for multiple days.

My dilemma is that Russia wants me to visit by the end of the month. Belarus wants me to come asap. I can push her back till the end June.  Would you guys visit both or pick only one? I have the means to visit both.

If either woman know I was talking with another woman, all communication would end.

So now we can see the damaging consequences of the "write few intensively before visiting one".
In less than 2 weeks you have shifted your preference from the russian to the bielorussian lady, slightly, but the preference is now noticeable.

I would go to the bielorussian one, with the russian as a backup.
I know Bill would like to kill me for this one and many members here. :P

If you like the bielorussian lady and start an affair with her forget for ever the russian one.
Prepare two weeks before the flight in Belarus  a big lie linked to any business reason you can invent whatever it is.
Do it seriously with an official document that you prepare at home. Prepare the russian girl in advance that you have such trip business.
Contact the russian girl when you are in Belarus if you don't like the local one and tell to the russian lady that you have the opportunity to jump on a plane to see her. She gets it or not.
During the time you are in Belarus or anywhere don't forget to keep in touch with the russian girl.
Wash your clothes to remove any perfume.
If you have got a personal gift from the belarus girl trash it or hide it very seriously.
Encode and secure your phone in case you have sex with the russian lady. Or remove any evidence of your communications with the Belarus girl when you are in Russia.

If you are smart it will work and you can see both girls. I would play this one.
I did it in the past and didn't loose girl A and B. But after both meetings you HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 06, 2017, 08:00:58 AM
I agree with Patagonie, the Belorus girl sounds like she should be first play. You have to decide between a girl that seems to be naturally into you and one you just get on well with - the Belorus girl sounds like she's taken to you so I would go with that. That's not to say it would work out like that when there, perhaps it would follow through and I think I would hope to bank on that. If not you've got a good couple of back ups already there so you could be sitting pretty :D saves having to find back up's when out there on the fly. All I would add to what Patagonie has said is that if you decide after a couple of days or so Belarus girl is definitely not for you contact Russian girl to tell her off meet up but (unless time is an issue) stay with Belarus girl for agreed stay then it will look less suspicious rather than a sudden announcement of an arrival. Other than that, while trips can be done at short notice a month gives you the time to really research where you are going, staying, and what stuff to do when there and means you're less rushed and better organised, that the way I do it anyway.

Girl I am due to go out and see sounds much like Belorus girl, don't worry she's not from Belarus though ;) so that's what appeals to me too. Will have to see if its borne out in reality though, will update on here whatever the case (hopefully) and work from there. 
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: BillyB on May 06, 2017, 09:05:10 AM
My dilemma is that Russia wants me to visit by the end of the month. Belarus wants me to come asap. I can push her back till the end June.  Would you guys visit both or pick only one? I have the means to visit both.

If either woman know I was talking with another woman, all communication would end.

You have to make a decision for what's best in your life. Does your schedule allow you to visit two? If you had to choose one, go for the one that got the hots for you more than the others.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Chicagoguy on May 06, 2017, 06:58:28 PM
Always consider there could be a language problem. My wife could not speak any English when we started so communicating
was VERY difficult for her.
Title: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: 2tallbill on May 06, 2017, 07:40:24 PM
I know Bill would like to kill me for this one and many members here. :P

Not at all, there is more than one way to be successful. That's why I call
it a theory. I don't spend a long time communicating before on a visit
many trip.

Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: msmob on May 06, 2017, 09:21:37 PM
So now we can see the damaging consequences of the "write few intensively before visiting one".

No .. now we see the 'damaging consequences' of confusing a visiting more than one at a time ...


If you are smart it will work and you can see both girls. I would play this one.
I did it in the past and didn't loose girl A and B. But after both meetings you HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE.

'Smart' has nothing to do with it ...  FSU ladies aren't daft...  t'other lady (#2) will see the OP's contact pattern change when visiting number 1 and number 2 will know she was the second choice.

The OP has got both ladies thinking there are 'exclusive'. Done it, myself - once - NEVER again..  They were both in the same city and both told me that they wouldn't have agreed to meet me -" if I was on a VM trip" ;)

Dell may lose them both










Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on May 07, 2017, 01:09:01 AM
So I decided to Skype with both woman last night and then decide. After which I knew that Belarus was the one for me. In my gut I knew this from the beginning, becuase it always felt more natural communicating with her. I always look forward to talking with Belarus. But for some stupid reason my mind always wants to play the devils advocate. Plus I had already received my three year multiple entry Russian visa and I think that's another reason why making my decision was harder.


That being said, I have already booked my tickets for Belarus. I canceled my plans with Russia. 

I will keep everyone updated on my trip!!! This will be my second time to Belarus. I actually like this country. :)

I'm really appreciating the support of everyone on the forum.

Thanks!!!
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Anotherkiwi on May 07, 2017, 05:42:39 PM
So I decided to Skype with both woman last night and then decide. After which I knew that Belarus was the one for me. In my gut I knew this from the beginning, becuase it always felt more natural communicating with her. I always look forward to talking with Belarus.

Good!  Making a decision (ANY decision) was always what you needed to do.

...Plus I had already received my three year multiple entry Russian visa and I think that's another reason why making my decision was harder.

Why?  Your visa doesn't become invalid just because you've decided against Ms Russia.  Visit Ms Belarus - marry her if that's how it goes - but enjoy trips to Russia WITH Ms Belarus!

I canceled my plans with Russia.

How did she take the news?
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: ML on May 07, 2017, 06:14:42 PM
Plus I had already received my three year multiple entry Russian visa and I think that's another reason why making my decision was harder.

Read a little on 'sunk costs,' using the accounting definition.

It leads to a lot of irrational decision making.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Patagonie on May 08, 2017, 03:17:29 AM
So now what happens to the Moscow lady?
She is now, at least, disappointed.

If it was her first rodeo, she will adapt, like any human on earth.
How does she can adapt?

She will, like everyone basically agree here, adopt the backup strategy. Understand this word in a general sense.
As she has no control on whom can visit her her interest will be in the future to keep all cards in her hands as long as possible.

But now who told you that the bielorusian woman is new to the international dating game?
She can perfectly had been also disappointed with the men who write many and visit one but not her, not counting all men who write a lot and visit any.

So our man, Dell, is about to visit her, but it's also possible that an other man visit her before or after.
an other man or other men.
Is the success will be related on the time spent on the number of posts and blabla  behind the screen? Is there a link between the time spent, invested, and the percentage of success to get in her pussy? You know, this idea like if you work a lot you will be rewarded by a lot of money.

The answer is no, no such thing exists, attraction has barely nothing to do with this because it happens in the reality. And that's attraction that pushes a woman in man's arms.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on May 08, 2017, 06:26:45 AM
So now what happens to the Moscow lady?
She is now, at least, disappointed.

If it was her first rodeo, she will adapt, like any human on earth.
How does she can adapt?

Russia took it very well, and understood the whole reason why I wouldn't be visiting.


 

But now who told you that the bielorusian woman is new to the international dating game?
She can perfectly had been also disappointed with the men who write many and visit one but not her, not counting all men who write a lot and visit any.

So our man, Dell, is about to visit her, but it's also possible that an other man visit her before or after.
an other man or other men.
Is the success will be related on the time spent on the number of posts and blabla  behind the screen? Is there a link between the time spent, invested, and the percentage of success to get in her pussy? You know, this idea like if you work a lot you will be rewarded by a lot of money.

The answer is no, no such thing exists, attraction has barely nothing to do with this because it happens in the reality. And that's attraction that pushes a woman in man's arms.


Wow!!! I wasn't expecting that kind of comment!!

 I don't think I mentioned at all she was new to the dating scene. She's 38 years olds, at that age I don't think your new at anything. She told me how long she was on the site and I asked if she had met anyone before. I also told her that I had made two trips before. I don't hide anything about myself when I am talking to FSUW.

I'm a pretty good judge of character. Both trips I made the woman that I meet acted like ladies with some moral fiber.

If a person is doing this to get pussy, he's an idiot!!  If I just wanted pussy, I can get that easily where I live, and it would save myself a lot of time and money.


Also there's no guarantees in life. I do the same things every other man on this forum does... He trust his gut and tries to be logical about the different situations he encounters. 

Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: jone on May 08, 2017, 09:07:57 AM
What my astute French friend was telling you (hey Patagonie, who did you vote for?  You don't have to answer that.) is that relationships are determined by Chemistry, not by how much money you have spent or will spend on a woman. You can have all of the Skype calls in the world and be perfect conversationalists, but until you look into her eyes, and she looks into yours, the jury is out and there can be no determination of falling in love with a video image you see on your computer.

We have had guys on here who poo-pooed that idea, went over the big pond and came back with their tales between their legs.  But it is the reality.  That is why international dating is not an inexpensive avocation.  And the biggest expense is your time.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on May 08, 2017, 09:44:25 AM
What my astute French friend was telling you (hey Patagonie, who did you vote for?  You don't have to answer that.) is that relationships are determined by Chemistry, not by how much money you have spent or will spend on a woman. You can have all of the Skype calls in the world and be perfect conversationalists, but until you look into her eyes, and she looks into yours, the jury is out and there can be no determination of falling in love with a video image you see on your computer.

We have had guys on here who poo-pooed that idea, went over the big pond and came back with their tales between their legs.  But it is the reality.  That is why international dating is not an inexpensive avocation.  And the biggest expense is your time.


I completely understand that you are saying. I have made two trips in the last 8 months. This will be my third. There was no chemistry on my side after meeting on my trips with a few woman.  I knew they were not the one. I have mentioned this before in my comments. No matter how much skyping or talking on the phone you do, non if it's real in till you meet.  Chemistry video chatting and chemistry in real life are two different things.



Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Patagonie on May 08, 2017, 12:57:04 PM
What my astute French friend was telling you (hey Patagonie, who did you vote for?  You don't have to answer that.) is that relationships are determined by Chemistry, not by how much money you have spent or will spend on a woman. You can have all of the Skype calls in the world and be perfect conversationalists, but until you look into her eyes, and she looks into yours, the jury is out and there can be no determination of falling in love with a video image you see on your computer.

We have had guys on here who poo-pooed that idea, went over the big pond and came back with their tales between their legs.  But it is the reality.  That is why international dating is not an inexpensive avocation.  And the biggest expense is your time.

Exactly dear Jone, you translated it perfectly.
Time and emotionnal state are the most important in this endeavor.
I stayed at home the day of the vote.
Title: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: 2tallbill on May 11, 2017, 11:18:13 AM
That is why international dating is not an inexpensive avocation.  And the biggest expense is your time.

For the Newbies reading, this adventure of finding, pursuing, romancing and
winning the heart of an FSUW is very expensive in money, time and emotional
energy.

How many times was I disappointed? It was too many to count. I could have gotten
married a half dozen times but I didn't want to settle. I would give myself a pep talk,
dust myself off and get my head back into the game. If I hadn't done exactly that, I
wouldn't have met Angel Eyes or I would have given up when things didn't work out
in Odessa, Kiev (twice), Lugansk, Dnepropetrovsk, St Petersburg, Voronezh or all the
FSU girls I met in the USA.

Udachi!

Bill
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: msmob on May 11, 2017, 11:40:52 AM
You forgot Tbilisi ! ;)

Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on June 02, 2017, 11:07:18 PM
Well I'm back from my trip to Belarus. I had a great time and meet a wonderful woman. We were able to spend 11 days together. I got to meet her family and son. We are going to continue to keep seeing each other. The weather was amazing and the town it quite nice!! I liked it there a lot.


Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on June 03, 2017, 03:30:21 AM
Well I'm back from my trip to Belarus. I had a great time and meet a wonderful woman. We were able to spend 11 days together. I got to meet her family and son. We are going to continue to keep seeing each other. The weather was amazing and the town it quite nice!! I liked it there a lot.

So you got laid? :D
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: ML on June 03, 2017, 06:27:35 AM
So you got laid? :D

That is for after marriage.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on June 03, 2017, 07:29:59 AM
So you got laid? :D

That's definitely for after marriage!😋

Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: msmob on June 03, 2017, 09:13:26 AM
So you got laid? :D

YAWN
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on June 03, 2017, 10:16:59 PM

That was a rude comment you made Trenchcoat.

 
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: JayH on June 03, 2017, 10:21:30 PM
That was a rude comment you made!

Agree . What is particularly ironic is that guy declined to say what his own situation was. In "his" thread --posters have presumed he did --but as he so often does and continues to do --he makes a comment that requires interpretation by a reader.
ie it may be correct as far as it goes --but means no more.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on June 03, 2017, 10:29:55 PM
So you got laid? :D

This comment you made was rude!

That is for after marriage.

ML sorry, I didn't mean to post your quote. That was a mistake on my part.  I meant to tag Trenchcoat's quote in my post.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on June 03, 2017, 10:38:04 PM
ML, I edited my post were I accidentally tagged your quote. 
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on June 04, 2017, 04:18:11 AM
This comment you made was rude!

ML sorry, I didn't mean to post your quote. That was a mistake on my part.  I meant to tag Trenchcoat's quote in my post.

Maybe so, but necessary ;D

Thing is I don't expect a woman to drop her knickers from the off, particularly if there is no real sign of interest from her then it is suspicious and to be honest not what I am after. I need to feel the girl is genuinely into me for me to want to get it on with her anyway. However, if she's into me and as I'm looking for a relationship that is going somewhere reasonably soon (and her also) then having sex with her can mean you've both signified your intent to a serious relationship. I don't have sex with girls I'm not wanting a serious relationship with as that is a quick road to std's and the like, plus like I say I need to feel commitment from the girl to feel it in the bedroom.

So my question though may seemingly rude was really to gauge how much of a relationship thing you have with this women. Of course not everyone has to do to serious/sexual relationship in a week but seeing as you're even more long distance from Ukraine than me not making a lot of progress up the road may not help for long term cementing of a relationship. So the less commitment from you the more likely she may be open to advances from other men - so do you wish for her to be open to other men's advances? since if there is little commitment then she'll likely think you're not bothered, doesn't want to wait around for next visit weeks or months down the line. That is what I was getting at here. See if it were me and I was seriously interested in the girl I would be happy to make all realistic commitments to her within the time frame I am with her that flowed naturally with the relationship, but not of course rushing to commitments ahead of the pace of the relationship.

I say all this because from what you put when weighing up to meet the girl, she sounded like mine that she was really into you. If this were so when you spent 11 days with her, which is almost twice the time I spent with mine then I have thought it would have been plenty of time for the relationship to move up the road so to speak. If it were me I would be a little concerned if it didn't. I don't know what other forum members would make of this, but its my thoughts anyway.   
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on June 04, 2017, 05:45:05 AM
Maybe so, but necessary ;D

Thing is I don't expect a woman to drop her knickers from the off, particularly if there is no real sign of interest from her then it is suspicious and to be honest not what I am after. I need to feel the girl is genuinely into me for me to want to get it on with her anyway. However, if she's into me and as I'm looking for a relationship that is going somewhere reasonably soon (and her also) then having sex with her can mean you've both signified your intent to a serious relationship. I don't have sex with girls I'm not wanting a serious relationship with as that is a quick road to std's and the like, plus like I say I need to feel commitment from the girl to feel it in the bedroom.

So my question though may seemingly rude was really to gauge how much of a relationship thing you have with this women. Of course not everyone has to do to serious/sexual relationship in a week but seeing as you're even more long distance from Ukraine than me not making a lot of progress up the road may not help for long term cementing of a relationship. So the less commitment from you the more likely she may be open to advances from other men - so do you wish for her to be open to other men's advances? since if there is little commitment then she'll likely think you're not bothered, doesn't want to wait around for next visit weeks or months down the line. That is what I was getting at here. See if it were me and I was seriously interested in the girl I would be happy to make all realistic commitments to her within the time frame I am with her that flowed naturally with the relationship, but not of course rushing to commitments ahead of the pace of the relationship.

I say all this because from what you put when weighing up to meet the girl, she sounded like mine that she was really into you. If this were so when you spent 11 days with her, which is almost twice the time I spent with mine then I have thought it would have been plenty of time for the relationship to move up the road so to speak. If it were me I would be a little concerned if it didn't. I don't know what other forum members would make of this, but its my thoughts anyway.   

Trenchcoat, I knew what kind of person I was dealing with pretty much before I arrived. I only needed being around her for two day to confirm my thoughts. If you can't sum up a woman after a month of talking via. phone, video chat and then after meeting in person for minimum of a couple of days you either don't have enough experience dealing with people or you're a naive person.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on June 04, 2017, 06:49:28 AM
Trenchcoat, I knew what kind of person I was dealing with pretty much before I arrived. I only needed being around her for two day to confirm my thoughts. If you can't sum up a woman after a month of talking via. phone, video chat and then after meeting in person for minimum of a couple of days you either don't have enough experience dealing with people or you're a naive person.

Of course, so did I, my above statement is no deviation from that, its just talking about relationship progression.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: HoundDaddyLee on June 04, 2017, 09:28:30 AM
Dell,


I am happy your trip to Belarus was good. I just returned from 8 days in BY with my girl. Don't let Trench bother you. Keep Skyping with your girl and return as often as possible. I am lucky in that my gal has a US visitor visa, so we can alternate trips to each other.


Good luck,
HDL
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Boethius on June 04, 2017, 01:09:18 PM
So my question though may seemingly rude was really to gauge how much of a relationship thing you have with this women. Of course not everyone has to do to serious/sexual relationship in a week but seeing as you're even more long distance from Ukraine than me not making a lot of progress up the road may not help for long term cementing of a relationship. So the less commitment from you the more likely she may be open to advances from other men - so do you wish for her to be open to other men's advances? since if there is little commitment then she'll likely think you're not bothered, doesn't want to wait around for next visit weeks or months down the line. That is what I was getting at here. See if it were me and I was seriously interested in the girl I would be happy to make all realistic commitments to her within the time frame I am with her that flowed naturally with the relationship, but not of course rushing to commitments ahead of the pace of the relationship.

I say all this because from what you put when weighing up to meet the girl, she sounded like mine that she was really into you. If this were so when you spent 11 days with her, which is almost twice the time I spent with mine then I have thought it would have been plenty of time for the relationship to move up the road so to speak. If it were me I would be a little concerned if it didn't. I don't know what other forum members would make of this, but its my thoughts anyway.


All this tells me is that you don't understand women.  At all.


The easiest way for a woman to manipulate a man is with sex.  Every teen aged girl knows this.  So, I would not look at whether or not a woman has slept with a man as some sort of gauge of sincerity, or even deep feelings.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Nightwish on June 04, 2017, 01:25:06 PM

All this tells me is that you don't understand women.  At all.


The easiest way for a woman to manipulate a man is with sex.  Every teen aged girl knows this.  So, I would not look at whether or not a woman has slept with a man as some sort of gauge of sincerity, or even deep feelings.

It took you this long to figure this out when it comes to Trench?  That he don't understand any women, and really not FSU women and this culture, this I have said for a loong loong time.. here is a man that thinks with his little head - and only the little one - all the time.
Title: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: 2tallbill on June 04, 2017, 03:23:28 PM

All this tells me is that you don't understand women.  At all.

The easiest way for a woman to manipulate a man is with sex.  Every teen aged girl knows this.  So, I would not look at whether or not a woman has slept with a man as some sort of gauge of sincerity, or even deep feelings.

If an adult man 45 years old and an adult woman 37 years old communicate via
Skype and email for 3 month on a daily basis, then the man buys tickets to visit
her exclusively for two weeks, and they DON'T have sex then that should tell
even the most gullible and clueless man that he is barking up the wrong tree.

There is no magic formula, measurement system, forum guideline or telltale
sign saying that you will achieve success, happiness and love, if X, Y or Z happens.
However, there are negative signs. If she is to meet you at the airport and she
doesn't show up or return your calls or emails for a week while you are visiting
her country, it's probably safe to assume that pursuing a different girl is in the
man's best interest.

She could have been abducted by aliens or been needed for her special rare
blood type to be sitting in a secret hospital in Siberia for that week, but in my
mind it's probably best to write that girl off and pursue another. 

The race doesn't always go to the swift nor the fight always to the strong,
but that's the way to bet.   

Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Boethius on June 04, 2017, 05:19:00 PM
Not necessarily.  She may be religious.  Or he may be religious.  They may not have achieved the requisite level of trust.  There can be lots of reasons why sex is not the first thing that drives the development of a relationship.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on June 05, 2017, 03:18:13 AM

Who said we didn't have sex. All I said was his comment was rude to ask. I also find it weird though that you guys are so interested to know if we had sex or not. If by having sex with a woman tells you if she's has a good character and her intentions are good, you don't know how to judge people and you're ignorant.

I would agree if you spend two weeks with a woman and you don't have sex, something is wrong.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: JayH on June 05, 2017, 03:24:40 AM
  There can be lots of reasons why sex is not the first thing that drives the development of a relationship.

I would say it should not be the first thing that a "gentleman" needs to tell the world--or anyone in fact.

We have seen enough immature morons who need to brag  and seek the applause of the forum .

In Dell's case ,I thought he was nicely discrete --only to have a moron reduce thread to the lowest common denominator.

The pre occupation of some about sex in a relationship tells me that a lot have little understanding of what makes a lasting relationship !
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on June 05, 2017, 03:48:57 AM
Dell,


I am happy your trip to Belarus was good. I just returned from 8 days in BY with my girl. Don't let Trench bother you. Keep Skyping with your girl and return as often as possible. I am lucky in that my gal has a US visitor visa, so we can alternate trips to each other.


Good luck,
HDL

HoundDaddyLee, Thank you! I wish my girl had a visa to where I live.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: msmob on June 05, 2017, 04:25:48 AM
Maybe so, but necessary ;D

NO.. it was puerile... and none of your / our business.   Dickhead comments like that are why so few folks post TRs



Dell, thanks for letting us know and good luck


Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on June 07, 2017, 08:17:14 AM

Dell, thanks for letting us know and good luck

Thanks!
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 22, 2017, 06:41:14 AM
Well back to square one. Time to regroup and draw up a plan of attack. Has anyone had any luck meeting woman through Mila? She contacted me. I was just thinking of signing up on Elena Models and some other websites.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: LAman on July 22, 2017, 07:02:24 AM
Well back to square one. Time to regroup and draw up a plan of attack. Has anyone had any luck meeting woman through Mila? She contacted me. I was just thinking of signing up on Elena Models and some other websites.

But...but....things changed after 6 weeks back? Was it her?

Goes to show the difficulties in finding a girl, continuing the relationship and cementing it for any length of time.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: msmob on July 22, 2017, 09:33:22 AM
Well back to square one. Time to regroup and draw up a plan of attack.

Hi Dell,

Sorry to read it didn't work out ...   Can only advise that you learn about any mistakes you might have made and do not make them, again ...

Better to find out now, rather than later.

Bearing in mind this is your business and - hopefully - the peanut gallery will have an allergic reaction to said peanuts - but when you can - if you feel like sharing your experience - it might help others in the venture...

Don't fell obligated and Trench ... do try to sit this one out - if Dell does decide to share....  :deadhorse:
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: jone on July 22, 2017, 10:03:55 AM
Could be very well that no one made any mistakes.  Simply the relationship was not meant to be. 
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: LAman on July 22, 2017, 11:15:23 AM
Could be very well that no one made any mistakes.  Simply the relationship was not meant to be.

As everyone knows, it's a honeymoon in the beginning but as more reality sets in, realization comes to the forefront
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on July 22, 2017, 12:35:48 PM
Well back to square one. Time to regroup and draw up a plan of attack. Has anyone had any luck meeting woman through Mila? She contacted me. I was just thinking of signing up on Elena Models and some other websites.

When I started looking about December 2015 there was a guy that posted a thread here. He had used Mila and wanted to confirm what we thought the situation was with the girl he had met through her. Essentially you could tell by the photo and how she was (had to dash of to hospital or something as her gran was in there) that there was nothing there. Apparently he said Mila seemed really nice but I don't think she holds the key to a sure thing with women, apparently on her website it says she can hook you up with girls that are like her 'friends' for $50 a go - not too expensive if they are straight up but of course there still needs to be chemistry.

I've done Elena's Models its a MOB site and personally I wouldn't bother with it, its newbie entry level site and full of scammers of all varieties. There are no doubt some genuine women there, I guess most likely from areas that are well off from the usual Moscow, St. Pete's, Kiev, Odessa, Nikolaev, etc scene. But its too much effort trying to sift out all muck to find a decent one - many on there will be there to find a rich guy, immigration/green card scam, divorce payout, holiday whore, etc. Even in the more far flung cities I've had women that want me to send pic of where I live, admitted that her Mother (who lived in UK use site to get a guy in UK through site as that is what she did). Your likely to come of worse using EM than your first effort even. I would just use someone like Mila than bother with EM at all if I were you.

Good to see you've got the balls to own up when things have not worked out though Dell, that's important I've found in moving forward with the search.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on July 22, 2017, 12:37:04 PM

Don't fell obligated and Trench ... do try to sit this one out - if Dell does decide to share....  :deadhorse:

Now you know that ain't going to be happening Moby ;D
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Boethius on July 22, 2017, 12:53:11 PM
There are men here who met their wives on EM.

You will find scammers Trench, because that's what you're looking for.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on July 22, 2017, 01:44:31 PM
There are men here who met their wives on EM.

You will find scammers Trench, because that's what you're looking for.

That is true Boe some men have, though I get the impression it was better more back in the day than now such as Faux Pas. Of course some men that met their wives on there didn't have it last. I would say to Dell don't be taken in by the wedding pics, its not all about finding a girl to say - 'hey you wanna get hitched' - many girls will purely if the guy is rich or green card or whatever. OP you (and I) want to find a girl that is sound. I don't really believe in the model anymore of doing this from afar its almost like blindfolding yourself. Also, the relationship needs to get to some depth and long distance fly in for a week or two just encourages one-dimensionality in the relationship. Dell you (and I) need to get down and really know what the girl is like through and through and that can only be done there and living there if only for a short while I believe.

I know Boe, yes if you get obsessed with finding scams you tend to go looking for them and get blinkered from finding true decent women.

That is why I don't really bother much with Russian Scam Awareness sites other than doing a quick search of a girl I am most keen on, but this all part of a brief check I do just to check there are no obvious signs for purposes of due diligence. I know some of the guys on these scam awareness sites just seem utterly focused on going out there to find scammers and uncover them even if it means getting scammed in the process, lol. There was a guy on here not too long ago who posted on the Scam awareness topic on this forum - he was basically getting caught on the same ppl type scams that guys fell for a decade ago - had spent long at it and wasted much time & effort. I know Elena on EM says the same that if you go looking for scammers that is what you will find and their is some truth in that but also because some exist out there and many on EM so its not difficult to find them there, so she ain't kidding, lol. I am not obsessed with scammers at all, but I am careful if you blindly accept whatever then yes you are at more risk I feel. 
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Boethius on July 22, 2017, 02:56:43 PM
EM does remove reported scammers from their site.

I think more options are just available now.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 22, 2017, 03:51:40 PM
It was my fault. There were a couple of issues that came up...

1: I had to cancel a trip becuase of work, and I wouldn't have been able to see her for over 6 months.

2: I wasn't 100% sure I want to have kids.

A couple of other things, that I won't go into. 

These issues could have been handled a lot better by me, and the relationship would have continued on with no problems.

I'm a little bummed... she was a good woman.

Live and learn.





Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: ML on July 22, 2017, 04:01:20 PM
Dell, are you the same man who married a gal named Tootsie who used to post on the old Planet Love forum?
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 22, 2017, 04:02:12 PM
Dell you (and I) need to get down and really know what the girl is like through and through and that can only be done there and living there if only for a short while I believe. 

Trench, my plan is to move to their country. I don't want to move back to the U.S. and I don't want to stay here in South East Asia. I'm lucky in the fact I can work from anywhere in the world.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 22, 2017, 04:04:25 PM
Dell, are you the same man who married a gal named Tootsie who used to post on the old Planet Love forum?

Lol... ML no I'm not him. I take it there's a funny story there?
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on July 22, 2017, 04:06:38 PM
It was my fault. There were a couple of issues that came up...

1: I had to cancel a trip becuase of work, and I wouldn't have been able to see her for over 6 months.

2: I wasn't 100% sure I want to have kids.

A couple of other things, that I won't go into. 

These issues could have been handled a lot better by me, and the relationship would have continued on with no problems.

I'm a little bummed... she was a good woman.

Live and learn.

Sorry to have to say this Dell but it seems silly to be the doer of your own misfortune. There are girls out there that will make obstacles to hurdle over if even possible or good idea, to make obstacles yourself is just making a hard task nearly impossible. I would have said a) b*llocks to work, you can always get another job and b) not be too quick to be on a downer about having children, talk about your fears with her or someone else if it does not look like she would take well to hearing about them and work from there. Have you already had kids Dell?
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on July 22, 2017, 04:09:52 PM
Trench, my plan is to move to their country. I don't want to move back to the U.S. and I don't want to stay here in South East Asia. I'm lucky in the fact I can work from anywhere in the world.

I think this is a sound plan and is what I am going to do. Some here say it will not work out for me but I would rather try than not try at all and learn from it. I just want to get past all the bs and get tot the heart of it all, live in a domestic situation so there is not all this holiday whoring, funny goings on, etc. Good decision I think Dell :D
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 22, 2017, 04:14:40 PM
Sorry to have to say this Dell but it seems silly to be the doer of your own misfortune. There are girls out there that will make obstacles to hurdle over if even possible or good idea, to make obstacles yourself is just making a hard task nearly impossible. I would have said a) b*llocks to work, you can always get another job and b) not be too quick to be on a downer about having children, talk about your fears with her or someone else if it does not look like she would take well to hearing about them and work from there. Have you already had kids Dell?

Trench my kind work you don't walk away from... I'm fortunate that my job is very unique and it's apart of my life.

I don't have kids. I 42 years old. I wouldn't mind having kids if I was a little younger.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 22, 2017, 04:19:25 PM
I think making the move will not be to difficult for me because (я говорю немного по русски). :)
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Anotherkiwi on July 22, 2017, 10:33:42 PM
I think making the move will not be to difficult for me because (я говорю немного по русски). :)

You copied that from me!  :D ... except that I had it in a different order (немного говорю)
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 23, 2017, 07:14:09 AM
You copied that from me!  :D ... except that I had it in a different order (немного говорю)

AnotherKiwi, how long have you been studying Russian? I've been studying for about 9 months.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: SANDRO43 on July 23, 2017, 07:23:20 AM
IIRC, in Russian the adverb must precede the verb it refers to:

You will pay dearly for your treachery. >:( 
Ты дорого заплатишь за свое предательство. 8)
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: BillyB on July 23, 2017, 08:42:09 AM
1: I had to cancel a trip becuase of work, and I wouldn't have been able to see her for over 6 months.


I'm sure you told her, like you told us, that you can work from anywhere in the world. The above quote makes it sound as if you lied because works ties you down to one place. Being the MAN, you need to figure out how to get with your woman. You're in SE Asia now. Surely you could've gotten her a visa to come visit you or at least a visa to a country next door even for a short weekend visit. She may also suspect you chose SE Asia to live and work because that is where a lot of "Me so horny" girls are at.

2: I wasn't 100% sure I want to have kids.


Failure to communicate. This is one of the earlier things you talk about with the ladies. Deal breaker topics need to be discussed before both parties waste months or even years of their lives trying to build a relationship. One guy here and his girl wasted over a year of his life because they both failed to discuss the issue of children. She wanted children and he was fixed and couldn't have any more children. A year past and they were headed towards marriage until the talk about children came up.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Anotherkiwi on July 23, 2017, 04:12:19 PM
AnotherKiwi, how long have you been studying Russian? I've been studying for about 9 months.

I'm not.  I took a night-school course before my first trip, and did a bit of a refresher before my second, but that's it.  I learnt enough to get by (my teacher called it "survival Russian"), and it certainly proved its worth, but I wouldn't try to properly learn the language unless I was going to live there.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Boethius on July 23, 2017, 05:40:48 PM
IIRC, in Russian the adverb must precede the verb it refers to:

You will pay dearly for your treachery. >:( 
Ты дорого заплатишь за свое предательство. 8)

No, Slavic languages are pretty free with word placement. The adverb could even be at the end of the sentence.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Boethius on July 23, 2017, 06:52:20 PM
I should add, the ordering of words is often done to emphasize a point. It's very nuanced, though of course second nature to native speakers. It conveys a slightly different understanding.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: SANDRO43 on July 23, 2017, 06:54:33 PM
No, Slavic languages are pretty free with word placement. The adverb could even be at the end of the sentence.
Well, maybe it's a grammar rule that no longer applies :-\:
Quote
placement of adverbs in a sentence (before the verb they modify),
http://masterrussian.com/adverbs/Russian_Adverbs.htm
Quote
In Russian, adverbs are usually placed before the verb they modify.
http://masterrussian.com/adverbs/introduction.htm
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 23, 2017, 11:16:33 PM
I'm sure you told her, like you told us, that you can work from anywhere in the world. The above quote makes it sound as if you lied because works ties you down to one place. Being the MAN, you need to figure out how to get with your woman. You're in SE Asia now. Surely you could've gotten her a visa to come visit you or at least a visa to a country next door even for a short weekend visit. She may also suspect you chose SE Asia to live and work because that is where a lot of "Me so horny" girls are at.

I know you don't know me at all, but I'm always completely honest with woman and don't BS them. Becuase in the end the truth always comes out.
She knew from the beginning I couldn't  move from SEA for a year and a half. Due to a contract I'm under right now. But after that I could move to her country.  I know I'm being a little vague here about what I do. If you would like to know more just pm.

Failure to communicate. This is one of the earlier things you talk about with the ladies. Deal breaker topics need to be discussed before both parties waste months or even years of their lives trying to build a relationship. One guy here and his girl wasted over a year of his life because they both failed to discuss the issue of children. She wanted children and he was fixed and couldn't have any more children. A year past and they were headed towards marriage until the talk about children came up.

This wasn't a huge issue for her. She thought a would eventually decide to have them, also I was completely opposed to not having them.

There were some other issues of course.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Jumper on July 24, 2017, 09:29:13 PM
I deleted my account on that site, because I trust what you guys are telling me. I am still communicating with four woman. One I have already meet on my first trip. She was amazing. We had a great time and really clicked. she wanted to move the relationship to the next phase. But I wasn't ready. I know I'm an idiot. I guess I was shocked, I meet someone on my first trip like that, and was thinking maybe to hold out and see if something better comes along.

Also I will only talk with women that are no more than ten years younger than me. Any thing pass that, I'm not interested. If your wondering I'm in my early 40s. No kids.

So, on her case the communication was fine?but you weren't ready for moving the relationship forward.
Kid in the candy store syndrome?
Not trying to beat you up over it, but it's quite possible that vibe is going out to more than just that girl you basically distanced yourself from.

 Their perception is pretty well polished,and the importance of sincerity ,while always pretty important if a serious woman, is heightened  with a foreigner.
  You clicked with that woman for some reason, others you havnt, some others you likely will it seems that simple to me, not cultural. 

 I never had much trouble on the communication side, if a rw likes you, it's the opposite problem, your ears may fall off.

At any rate, good luck
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: BillyB on July 24, 2017, 10:03:55 PM
I know you don't know me at all, but I'm always completely honest with woman and don't BS them. Becuase in the end the truth always comes out.
She knew from the beginning I couldn't  move from SEA for a year and a half. Due to a contract I'm under right now. But after that I could move to her country.  I know I'm being a little vague here about what I do. If you would like to know more just pm.


Nobody is 100% honest. We all lie and we even lie to ourselves about who we are. But we are all still capable of gaining trust. Trust has to be earned. You are tied down by contract for a year and a half yet your job is flexible enough for you to do it anywhere in the world. I don't need to know what you do but tied down and flexible contradicts each other no matter how you look at it.

There were some other issues of course.


Maybe you two weren't meant to be. I still think if you tried hard enough, you could make arraignments for her to come visit you in SE Asia. I have a business. I hate it when people come to me with excuses instead of a solution. RW like men with solutions.

Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 25, 2017, 12:16:51 AM
So, on her case the communication was fine?but you weren't ready for moving the relationship forward.
Kid in the candy store syndrome?

No... not even close. It's interesting how people on this forum think FSUW have this mythical six sense. I was married to a Russian for six years. Also I have a few Russian and Ukraine friends. I have spent time in Belarus, Ukraine and Russian. But that's not my perception of FSUW. They are definitely have a different mentality do to their culture, and that what attracts me to them.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 25, 2017, 12:36:18 AM
Nobody is 100% honest. We all lie and we even lie to ourselves about who we are. But we are all still capable of gaining trust. Trust has to be earned. You are tied down by contract for a year and a half yet your job is flexible enough for you to do it anywhere in the world. I don't need to know what you do but tied down and flexible contradicts each other no matter how you look at it.

Maybe you two weren't meant to be. I still think if you tried hard enough, you could make arraignments for her to come visit you in SE Asia. I have a business. I hate it when people come to me with excuses instead of a solution. RW like men with solutions.

BillyB,

Yes we all lie... but I was not talking about the stupid little white lies we tell people. She new about the contract from the beginning so that wasn't an issue. At this time no I can't move right away you're right.  I do have a profession that does allow me to conducted my job anywhere in the world. I just recently signed a contract to do a job in SEA for a little while. After that I am free to move anywhere I want an continue doing my job.
 

I had a solution... before I meet her I had a trip planned to meet my parents in Paris in October. She knew about it when we first meet. I invited her on the trip becuase I wanted her to meet them.

I thought this was a good solution. 

 



Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on July 25, 2017, 01:35:25 AM

I had a solution... before I meet her I had a trip planned to meet my parents in Paris in October. She knew about it when we first meet. I invited her on the trip becuase I wanted her to meet them.

I thought this was a good solution. 😂

Was it not? I suggested to my girl we live in Cyprus thinking she would jump at the chance, particularly after seeing how many Russians there were there and she seemed to get on well with those she met, but no it was a no go for her.

I'm thinking unless she has a real good reason it looks suspicious particularly since many FSW seem particularly taken by the idea of holidays abroad.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: msmob on July 25, 2017, 03:01:06 AM
So, Trench - you suggested living in Cyprus ?  How were you going to earn, there ?  You have already told us you couldn't live there - "your pale skin" ..   Why weren't you being honest with her ?

Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 25, 2017, 06:04:51 AM
Was it not? I suggested to my girl we live in Cyprus thinking she would jump at the chance, particularly after seeing how many Russians there were there and she seemed to get on well with those she met, but no it was a no go for her.

I'm thinking unless she has a real good reason it looks suspicious particularly since many FSW seem particularly taken by the idea of holidays abroad.

Yes & No...lol. We talked today for awhile. We'll see where it goes. 
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on July 25, 2017, 07:31:40 AM
So, Trench - you suggested living in Cyprus ?  How were you going to earn, there ?  You have already told us you couldn't live there - "your pale skin" ..   Why weren't you being honest with her ?

Oh Moby you're so pedantic. I had thought of it being a possibility for us living there before we arrived although not when I originally suggested a holiday there (she just said she would like a beach holiday but not the idea of taking it in Ukraine). It later dawned on me that it could be the perfect place for both of us (even before we got there). I read online that English and Russian languages are present. I did not realise until I got there that both are widely spoken to the point that for many seems interchangeable - kind of like English, Russian & Greek all seemingly used as the official language which apparently is just supposed to be Greek (Turkish in the North of course).

Anyway, I thought I would give her a day or so to get acclimatized. She was eager to hear how we could be together in future. At this point she had started to come into contact with several Russians though not as many as later as we had just still kind of at the beginning of the holiday. I thought she would go for the idea or it least be an option/considered but she was not at all keen - basically it was not what she wanted to hear, she wants just to come to UK it seems. At this point I knew the sun was hot and was taking shade when & where I could but I did not realise I would burn so quickly & easily - sure there are worse people around no doubt for burning - I have brown hair but those with fair or ginger hair tend to have even fairer more delicate skin than me. So to them I would not recommend Cyprus in the summer. At any rate you did say yourself Moby that its been hotter than the usual hot heat out there. So yes its a bit off putting in that way, I would still not rule it out completely, we both liked Cyprus despite her not wanting to live there, strange :-\ She particualalry like Limmasol as young girl & more happening, felloe Russian speakers, etc. I liked Limassol but preferred Paphos, more quint, fellow Brits so familiar but not the chavy English Football T-shirt kind :) so good for me.

At no point was I not being honest with her, at the time I fully wanted to move there with her. I saw that it was both English and Russian speaking so getting jobs could be possible there. I do not care what job I do so long as I have the family lifestyle and am in nice surroundings. Also, I noticed along the way that I could work it so in Cyprus I have more protection of my assets in divorce ;) Maybe she saw the same, lol After the holiday she was dead against the idea even though we both enjoyed it, she likes sunbathing, got on well with Russian speakers, nice new shopping malls there, etc.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: msmob on July 25, 2017, 08:54:58 AM
Trench .. with every post you just compound your folly....

Now you know about getting divorced in Cyprus before getting married?!


Unlike you...having married in Cyprus I *do* know about divorce there and you are full of it... How many folk do you know who have been /  are getting divorced there? Believe me...you are better off in the UK..

Now we come to you asking someone you have met once  about living in a place you hadn't seen,yet?

MADNESS... 

This lady must wonder what planet you are on...

Reason for edit: written in direct sunlight 75m from a Russian watchtower on THE border with 'Abkhazia' ( Georgia)  - couldn't see  the screen



Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Jumper on July 25, 2017, 09:22:11 AM
No... not even close. It's interesting how people on this forum think FSUW have this mythical six sense. I was married to a Russian for six years. Also I have a few Russian and Ukraine friends. I have spent time in Belarus, Ukraine and Russian. But that's not my perception of FSUW. They are definitely have a different mentality do to their culture, and that what attracts me to them.

Ok, you have plenty of experience, so im not sure why the communication issues you originally asked about.
I havnt run into that issue and have both lived over there and been around the culture or married to a rw for a couple decades.

Your own words before, stated you likely where a bit too quick to  look for others, when you had one you clicked with. No big deal, and you've found another woman of interest to you since that post it seems. Great!

For what it's worth, my wife doesn't really like fsu culture and sees it's positives, and it's many negatives.she much prefers,western culture so assimilation was much easier.
  We still see the stereotypical new immigrant hating everything here and going thru culture shock, she used to try to help but most of the time it's a negative mentality at the root, that doesn't want to evaluate the differences good and bad of either culture, so she's found its not worth tying to help most of the time,if the rw already has that mindset..just how it is.

As far as offering a trip to Paris as a compromise if opportunity to.meet, if your romantic interstate isn't interested in such I'd advise move on.
  If a woman isnt that interested, I never wasted much time, a new bus comes by every 15 minutes,no need to have any difficulties.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: BillyB on July 25, 2017, 07:54:57 PM
I had a solution... before I meet her I had a trip planned to meet my parents in Paris in October. She knew about it when we first meet. I invited her on the trip becuase I wanted her to meet them.

I thought this was a good solution.


Still doesn't make a woman feel she's the priority. You can't go and meet her alone but you have time to meet your parents.

In April you were 6 months into this endeavor and have made two trips. You planned on going to the FSU in June and you made that trip and concluded the lady is a wonderful woman....then things fell apart.

You said she knew about your work and you had to cancel a trip and won't be able to see her for over 6 months due to being tied down for work. Then you tell her you will go on a trip to see your parents in October which is 3 months away and said you can meet her there. I'm not going to accuse you of lying but you're not making sense or you're having problems with basic math. Big difference between 3 months and over 6 months.

It doesn't bother me what you said to the lady. Men have said all kinds of things to get into their pants or make excuses why they can't see them soon after having sex with them the first time. But for a lady who is thinking about living their life with you, she will look more closely at what you say and will tolerate less BS. Things that don't make sense or excuses why you two can't be together is harmful to the relationship. If you told your lady what you told us, you may have receive pushback for this and put your relationship on the fast track to destruction.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 25, 2017, 10:10:58 PM

Still doesn't make a woman feel she's the priority. You can't go and meet her alone but you have time to meet your parents.

In April you were 6 months into this endeavor and have made two trips. You planned on going to the FSU in June and you made that trip and concluded the lady is a wonderful woman....then things fell apart.

You said she knew about your work and you had to cancel a trip and won't be able to see her for over 6 months due to being tied down for work. Then you tell her you will go on a trip to see your parents in October which is 3 months away and said you can meet her there. I'm not going to accuse you of lying but you're not making sense or you're having problems with basic math. Big difference between 3 months and over 6 months.

It doesn't bother me what you said to the lady. Men have said all kinds of things to get into their pants or make excuses why they can't see them soon after having sex with them the first time. But for a lady who is thinking about living their life with you, she will look more closely at what you say and will tolerate less BS. Things that don't make sense or excuses why you two can't be together is harmful to the relationship. If you told your lady what you told us, you may have receive pushback for this and put your relationship on the fast track to destruction.

BillyB,

Your right my math was off. I got back from trip in early June. So June to October is 5 months...not six.

To clarify I told her about the trip right when we meet. Like I said this trip was preplanned. I haven't  seen my parents for two years. I wasn't going to cancel a trip to visit them. I invited her along. If she doesnt wants to move forward with our relationship so be it. There are plenty of good woman out there. I don't know about you, but family is very important to me!


Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: jone on July 25, 2017, 11:06:45 PM
BillyB,

Your right my math was off. I got back from trip in early June. So June to October is 5 months...not six.

To clarify I told her about the trip right when we meet. Like I said this trip was preplanned. I haven't  seen my parents for two years. I wasn't going to cancel a trip to visit them. I invited her along. If she doesnt wants to move forward with our relationship so be it. There are plenty of good woman out there. I don't know about you, but family is very important to me!

Atta boy, Dell. 

Any serious FSUW would jump at the chance to meet future inlaws.   Count to 100.  Another beautiful woman just walked by.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: JayH on July 25, 2017, 11:27:25 PM
I should add, the ordering of words is often done to emphasize a point. It's very nuanced, though of course second nature to native speakers. It conveys a slightly different understanding.

This should be a thread in itself .
This very point is one I have seen lead to misunderstandings of what is being said.
In the same way an English sentence can have the entire intent altered  a precise  translation can easily be misunderstood.

Understanding a few words is not speaking the language .
That is why guys( & girls) learning will take years of constant exposure to really "learn".  And why those that come here just starting to learn will never get competent enough to ever understand more than the very basics .
My strongest recommendation --learn the alphabet -- that is the basis of making life easier in the FSU today.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: BillyB on July 26, 2017, 05:49:56 AM
Your right my math was off. I got back from trip in early June. So June to October is 5 months...not six.


If October is 3 months away from July, October is 4 months away from June.

To clarify I told her about the trip right when we meet. Like I said this trip was preplanned. I haven't  seen my parents for two years. I wasn't going to cancel a trip to visit them. I invited her along. If she doesnt wants to move forward with our relationship so be it. There are plenty of good woman out there. I don't know about you, but family is very important to me!


Parents are important to you but you haven't seen them in two years and made 3 trips to different women in less than 6 months. Doesn't make sense.

You weren't going to cancel a trip to visit your parents but you cancelled a trip to this woman and claimed she knew prior you couldn't get away from work. Doesn't make sense.

My son worked for me in construction during summertime. He's in college. Sometimes he'll come late blaming car problems or the alarm didn't wake him up. In front of other employees I told him all excuses are BS. Doesn't matter if they're true or not, it's all BS. I can forgive some BS but if I get too much, they'll be out of a job. Same goes in relationships. I can't handle too much BS and drama. Careful how you handle your next woman. FSU women have a tough life. They don't have much room for BS compared to their American counterparts.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on July 26, 2017, 06:50:47 AM

My son worked for me in construction during summertime. He's in college. Sometimes he'll come late blaming car problems or the alarm didn't wake him up. In front of other employees I told him all excuses are BS. Doesn't matter if they're true or not, it's all BS. I can forgive some BS but if I get too much, they'll be out of a job. Same goes in relationships. I can't handle too much BS and drama. Careful how you handle your next woman. FSU women have a tough life. They don't have much room for BS compared to their American counterparts.

Then with that BillyB f*cks off to log back into RWD forum :D  :ROFL:
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 26, 2017, 07:20:54 AM
If October is 3 months away from July, October is 4 months away from June.

Parents are important to you but you haven't seen them in two years and made 3 trips to different women in less than 6 months. Doesn't make sense.

You weren't going to cancel a trip to visit your parents but you cancelled a trip to this woman and claimed she knew prior you couldn't get away from work. Doesn't make sense.

My son worked for me in construction during summertime. He's in college. Sometimes he'll come late blaming car problems or the alarm didn't wake him up. In front of other employees I told him all excuses are BS. Doesn't matter if they're true or not, it's all BS. I can forgive some BS but if I get too much, they'll be out of a job. Same goes in relationships. I can't handle too much BS and drama. Careful how you handle your next woman. FSU women have a tough life. They don't have much room for BS compared to their American counterparts.


BillyB,

Thank you for your little family story... so enlightening.

Lets break this down for you buddy... I came back June 5th, So we still need to get through this month right! Then we have July, August, September, and I will meet my parents near the end of October. So lets just round that up to five month.

you're statement about FSUW or people having it rough was ignorant...They don't have it that bad. Obviously you have't done much traveling outside western countries. You should really get out and experience the world instead of being a typical American, calling shots from your arm chair.

I don't know how you got that I was BS her. I wasn't being deceitful to her and if see wants to move on so be it.

Yes I made two trips... and no I didn't go see my parents on those trip. Just because they are getting old doesn't mean they sit at home all the time. They do have their own lives.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: BillyB on July 26, 2017, 06:58:21 PM
Lets break this down for you buddy... I came back June 5th, So we still need to get through this month right! Then we have July, August, September, and I will meet my parents near the end of October. So lets just round that up to five month.


You said you couldn't see her for over 6 months. The time begins when you cancelled the next planned trip to see her, not when you came home June 5th.

you're statement about FSUW or people having it rough was ignorant...They don't have it that bad. Obviously you have't done much traveling outside western countries. You should really get out and experience the world instead of being a typical American, calling shots from your arm chair.


See those words and numbers under my avatar to the left of this post? I've been to the FSU 4 times more than you have. Been to Ukraine, Russia, and Uzbekistan. Ignorant is one thing but you have access to facts and failed to read them.  Also I lived in Germany, Vietnam, and Panama. I wasn't born in America. People in the FSU are living harder lives than Americans. Experience with a hard life make people less tolerant of BS.

I don't know how you got that I was BS her. I wasn't being deceitful to her and if see wants to move on so be it.


You're failing to understand what I was saying about the excuses my son makes being late for work. It doesn't matter if he's telling the truth or a lie, it's ALL BS. I didn't call you a liar or accuse you of deceiving your woman. I'm just giving you something to think about. Even if you're telling the truth, RW will get tired of your BS.

Yes I made two trips...

I said you made three trips to the FSU because that is what you told us. Now it's two trips? Doesn't make sense and more BS. Your math and grammar is going to get you into trouble with the next woman.

I didn't go see my parents on those trip. Just because they are getting old doesn't mean they sit at home all the time. They do have their own lives.


Your lady assumed you wanted to live your whole life with her. You're supposed to value a wife more than mommy and daddy. You had two trips planned, one with her and one with your parents. You told the lady her trip gets cancelled because of work and you tell your parents their trip is still on and not affected by work. You are insulting your lady's intelligence. She left you. Earlier you said live and learn but you seem to be resisting the learning part. You're bound to screw things up again.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 27, 2017, 12:21:13 AM
You said you couldn't see her for over 6 months. The time begins when you cancelled the next planned trip to see her, not when you came home June 5th.

BillyB, here we go again. Once I got back from my trip in June, I recieved news about work. I notified her that I would need to cancel the trip and reschedule. So the time frame still holds up. Quit trying to catch me in some lies or BS...Why would I need to lie to anyone on this board, how would that benefit me? I came on this forum to read other peoples experiences and to share mine.



 

See those words and numbers under my avatar to the left of this post? I've been to the FSU 4 times more than you have. Been to Ukraine, Russia, and Uzbekistan. Ignorant is one thing but you have access to facts and failed to read them.  Also I lived in Germany, Vietnam, and Panama. I wasn't born in America. People in the FSU are living harder lives than Americans. Experience with a hard life make people less tolerant of BS.

There are a lot of countries that have it a lot worse than FSU countries. 

I said you made three trips to the FSU because that is what you told us. Now it's two trips? Doesn't make sense and more BS. Your math and grammar is going to get you into trouble with the next woman.

What BS are you talking about? Rescheduling to have her meet me in Paris with my parents is BS? You're just trying to be an ass now man.  The two trips were a typo relax!


Your lady assumed you wanted to live your whole life with her. You're supposed to value a wife more than mommy and daddy. You had two trips planned, one with her and one with your parents. You told the lady her trip gets cancelled because of work and you tell your parents their trip is still on and not affected by work. You are insulting your lady's intelligence. She left you. Earlier you said live and learn but you seem to be resisting the learning part. You're bound to screw things up again.


I will be wrapping up my work by the end of September. Therefore, there was no need to cancel my trip with the parents. Once I canceled the trip for her to visit me, I ask if she would like to come with me to Paris. I think this was a good alternative. If you think that's BS... that's your opinion.

Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: BillyB on July 27, 2017, 04:23:04 PM
There are a lot of countries that have it a lot worse than FSU countries. 


I'm not talking about other countries. I was saying people in the FSU have less tolerance for BS compared to Americans because they see it more often and don't want anymore BS in their lives.

Once I got back from my trip in June, I recieved news about work. I notified her that I would need to cancel the trip and reschedule. So the time frame still holds up.

I will be wrapping up my work by the end of September. Therefore, there was no need to cancel my trip with the parents.


Sometime after June 5th you had work commitments and told her you had to cancel a planned trip to her and couldn't see her for over 6 months when in fact you wrap up your work in September which is 3 months from June so your parents trip in October is safe from cancellation. Doesn't make sense. More BS, bad math.....and/or another typo?

Once I canceled the trip for her to visit me, I ask if she would like to come with me to Paris. I think this was a good alternative. If you think that's BS... that's your opinion.


My opinion doesn't count. Her's did and she thought your "good alternative" was BS. You lost a good woman. Once she determined she didn't have a future with you, she didn't care about meeting your parents and she passed on a free vacation to Paris. An insincere woman would've taken that vacation before dumping you.

Dell, I believe you really believe yourself to be an honest guy but c'mon, re-read what you're writing to see you're all over the place with posts that contradict previous posts. Fix the problem with your honesty or get used to losing more women.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 27, 2017, 06:35:59 PM
I'm not talking about other countries. I was saying people in the FSU have less tolerance for BS compared to Americans because they see it more often and don't want anymore BS in their lives.

Sometime after June 5th you had work commitments and told her you had to cancel a planned trip to her and couldn't see her for over 6 months when in fact you wrap up your work in September which is 3 months from June so your parents trip in October is safe from cancellation. Doesn't make sense. More BS, bad math.....and/or another typo?

My opinion doesn't count. Her's did and she thought your "good alternative" was BS. You lost a good woman. Once she determined she didn't have a future with you, she didn't care about meeting your parents and she passed on a free vacation to Paris. An insincere woman would've taken that vacation before dumping you.

Dell, I believe you really believe yourself to be an honest guy but c'mon, re-read what you're writing to see you're all over the place with posts that contradict previous posts. Fix the problem with your honesty or get used to losing more women.

Obviously, you think your opinion matters because you keep posting on my thread. I realize now that you’re just trolling this thread.

I will be wrapping my work up around the end of September. I was not going to fly her out when I would be in Europe at the end of the following month.  So, I would not be seeing her for five month.

I’m dyslexic so that’s why I screw up numbers and grammar sometimes. If it bothers you stop posting on my thread.  I’m sure you will say more BS.

Yes & No...lol. We talked today for awhile. We'll see where it goes. 

 On page five of this thread I posted that we started talking again. But I think you missed that post.  We are still talking.

To me it feels like you need justification that you’re right and I’m wrong. I make mistakes all the time and screw things up... I’m human.  I hope to learn from them and move forward.

I would like to get back to sharing our experiences on this forum. Hey, maybe my contribution to this forum is what not to do. :)
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: BillyB on July 27, 2017, 10:25:03 PM
To me it feels like you need justification that you’re right and I’m wrong.


Just pointing things out that you're not seeing. When you tell a woman you're cancelling a trip to visit her and won't be able to see her for over 6 months when in fact your work commitments end in 3 months (September), you don't see the wrong in that? If you can't see wrong in the many things you told to her and us and believe your brand of honesty is just fine, you're going to have more short term relationships in your life.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on July 27, 2017, 10:44:12 PM
Dell, in all seriousness I've never known BillyB to be into trolling the short while I have been on this forum over the last nearly 2 years. If anything there are other forum members that are far more argumentative than him. I've always round his advice to be worthy of thought and often quite helpful. I think he genuinely wants to help you and your perhaps taken what he's said the wrong way.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 28, 2017, 12:01:05 AM
Dell, in all seriousness I've never known BillyB to be into trolling the short while I have been on this forum over the last nearly 2 years. If anything there are other forum members that are far more argumentative than him. I've always round his advice to be worthy of thought and often quite helpful. I think he genuinely wants to help you and your perhaps taken what he's said the wrong way.


Can you please tell me how you get three month from the beginning of June to the end of September? Then add in October and what do you get? Am I off in my math. If so I will clearly apologize! No questions asked.




Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on July 28, 2017, 12:44:05 AM

Can you please tell me how you get three month from the beginning of June to the end of September? Then add in October and what do you get? Am I off in my math. If so I will clearly apologize! No questions asked.

I think maybe both of you got caught up in a minor detail here and arguing the toss is detracting from the actual issue at hand which is your relationship with this girl. I too am having trouble with the girl I have met in that she also seems to see things differently to me (in a different way/on a different subject to yours). If your getting things sorted out that's great as from the girl I'm with I'm struggling to make headway, I'm unsure of whether we will or if the relationship will go any further. From my point of view at least I tend to find FSW only seem to want to see something through their eyes and not want to give any ground in the dispute. I hope it works out for you Dell.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 28, 2017, 01:46:52 AM
I think maybe both of you got caught up in a minor detail here and arguing the toss is detracting from the actual issue at hand which is your relationship with this girl. I too am having trouble with the girl I have met in that she also seems to see things differently to me (in a different way/on a different subject to yours). If your getting things sorted out that's great as from the girl I'm with I'm struggling to make headway, I'm unsure of whether we will or if the relationship will go any further. From my point of view at least I tend to find FSW only seem to want to see something through their eyes and not want to give any ground in the dispute. I hope it works out for you Dell.

I think your right Trench. I let my ego get the best of me. Sometimes you need a third person to say quit being a jackass.

I hope you're able to figure out if she's the one, before you have to much invested in the relationship .

Thanks! We'll see how it goes. We have plans to skype tonight. This endeavor is not easy by any means. But I'm determined to keep trying till I get it right.

Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Dell on July 28, 2017, 02:25:35 AM
Just pointing things out that you're not seeing. When you tell a woman you're cancelling a trip to visit her and won't be able to see her for over 6 months when in fact your work commitments end in 3 months (September), you don't see the wrong in that? If you can't see wrong in the many things you told to her and us and believe your brand of honesty is just fine, you're going to have more short term relationships in your life.

Billyb,

I want to apologize, I let my ego get the best of me. I hope you will still contribute to my post and threads in the future. You were successful at this endeavor so I should listen to what you have say.

Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: BillyB on July 28, 2017, 09:50:43 PM
Billyb,

I want to apologize, I let my ego get the best of me. I hope you will still contribute to my post and threads in the future. You were successful at this endeavor so I should listen to what you have say.

Apology accepted. Although I'm married to an FSU woman, I never use that as leverage to get someone to listen to my advice. People who married an FSU woman been there, done that but it's still best to focus on the merits of their advice than what they've accomplished.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Jumper on July 29, 2017, 08:19:42 AM
If a relationship is difficult early when two people are on their best behavior,  it is very unlikely to get better with time.
  If it's difficult,  it's not cultural, it's not women are from venus, it's simple not the right  couple for each other.

It can't be love, if it's full of doubt.-
Def Leapord

Even crappy 80s pop metal knew this. Lol
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on July 31, 2017, 10:39:00 AM
I think your right Trench. I let my ego get the best of me. Sometimes you need a third person to say quit being a jackass.

I hope you're able to figure out if she's the one, before you have to much invested in the relationship .

Thanks! We'll see how it goes. We have plans to skype tonight. This endeavor is not easy by any means. But I'm determined to keep trying till I get it right.

That's ok Dell, hope you're Skype went ok. I think to be honest many a girl is going to have some problem/issue that we come across in this search. I guess the question we need to ask ourselves is whether she's hitting the mark overall. Trying to search for a girl that's a complete winner with no issues is perhaps how some guys on here search for years & years. For example the girl may want to remain in home country or may seem overly anxious to emigrate. Then there's all the stuff about visiting that we're getting.

Speaking of which I think I may have recently made progress with my girl, for a time it looked like there was no resolution to our issue over visiting. In the last day or so a ray of light has emerged on this front and a solution may be possible. I would never have thought it possible and the relationship looked doomed only a few days ago. Its still in uncertain territory but it may be possible to revive. In general though I'm still working on the long term plan of providing myself independent income for a extended stay in the FSU so which I can also use for getting together with her if all goes ok.

Other issues still need to be resolved with girl but I think recent communication breakthrough really helped understand her better after weeks of stubbornness from her. I'm thinking though if present issue really has been resolved then others issues will hopefully be possible too :) Its kind of a question of time and neither side being willing to readily to walk away I think.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: HoundDaddyLee on July 31, 2017, 03:01:53 PM
That's ok Dell, hope you're Skype went ok. I think to be honest many a girl is going to have some problem/issue that we come across in this search. I guess the question we need to ask ourselves is whether she's hitting the mark overall. Trying to search for a girl that's a complete winner with no issues is perhaps how some guys on here search for years & years. For example the girl may want to remain in home country or may seem overly anxious to emigrate. Then there's all the stuff about visiting that we're getting.

Speaking of which I think I may have recently made progress with my girl, for a time it looked like there was no resolution to our issue over visiting. In the last day or so a ray of light has emerged on this front and a solution may be possible. I would never have thought it possible and the relationship looked doomed only a few days ago. Its still in uncertain territory but it may be possible to revive. In general though I'm still working on the long term plan of providing myself independent income for a extended stay in the FSU so which I can also use for getting together with her if all goes ok.

Other issues still need to be resolved with girl but I think recent communication breakthrough really helped understand her better after weeks of stubbornness from her. I'm thinking though if present issue really has been resolved then others issues will hopefully be possible too :) Its kind of a question of time and neither side being willing to readily to walk away I think.


Or..... She realized that the money train was leaving the station and she is adjusted. Trench you need to eject this one. I know you won't listen, but...  :deadhorse: :cluebat:
HDL
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: msmob on July 31, 2017, 09:17:13 PM
Then with that BillyB f*cks off to log back into RWD forum

That would be funny - if it wasn't for the fact that - unlike you - BillyB can wear the t-shirt- and offer advice ..

Yours really IS mostly BS ...
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on August 01, 2017, 03:37:06 AM
That would be funny - if it wasn't for the fact that - unlike you - BillyB can wear the t-shirt- and offer advice ..

Yours really IS mostly BS ...

Oh Mobe you do love me  :flowers: lol
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on August 01, 2017, 03:42:20 AM

Or..... She realized that the money train was leaving the station and she is adjusted. Trench you need to eject this one. I know you won't listen, but...  :deadhorse: :cluebat:
HDL

You may be right HDL, it will probably next year now anyway, I'm only going to do journey as part of a general plan to be able to spend some time away from UK anyway so to spend time with her would fall into this. If we can sort out our differences and make a go off it then all is good if not I'll be able to move on pretty quick anyway.
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: msmob on August 01, 2017, 07:31:44 PM
Oh Mobe you do love me  :flowers: lol

Nothing to do with 'liking / disliking ' - just my opinion on the veracity of your posts ...
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: Trenchcoat on August 01, 2017, 09:49:29 PM
Nothing to do with 'liking / disliking ' - just my opinion on the veracity of your posts ...

Moby, you're like a stuffy old History Professor, lol, not your occupation by any chance is it?
Title: Re: Initiate conversation with her
Post by: msmob on August 01, 2017, 09:59:07 PM
Moby, you're like a stuffy old History Professor, lol, not your occupation by any chance is it?

Stuffy old history professor ? ... The analogy is as 'accurate' as your 'advice' ...  :D