адаптация

[lordtiberius]

1) She loves our roads but hates the way we dress.

2) You have to fight for love.

3) Getting married not only opens your eyes to new experiences but opens your eyes to new insights into your past.

4) Behind every great man is an even better woman and yet without us, they would be old maids.

5) Ukrainian women are very expensive.

6) There has to be some moral restraint on your behavior.  Our culture is increasing solipsistic, tyrannical, intolerant and unstable.  Only family and IMHO religion offer an escape to certain cultural doom.

7) Did I mention expensive?

There are hidden bonuses to a woman who always tells the truth.

9) have a sense of a humor

To the good ones who are going to look, still looking and have stopped looking, God Bless Ya!

[mendeleyev]

Given your post title, I take it that you are now hitched?

If so, congratulations and many years!

[pokerintherear]

5) Ukrainian women are very expensive.



7) Did I mention expensive?

How so?  Did she come from a wealthy family or normal Ukrainian family?

But, congratulations!

[lordtiberius]

How so?  Did she come from a wealthy family or normal Ukrainian family?

She is not from an oligarch family.  What I found out the hard way is that this adaptation is not one-sided.  Any woman who comes over from anywhere will experience culture shock and loneliness for about a year.  I know a few Ukrainian-westerners who advised me that Ukrainian women are expensive.  I don't want to make any undue generalizations based on my limited experiences, but I think it is because she is European.  They just have higher expectations than I think we do.  I wish I had a more intelligent answer.

But, congratulations!

Thank you!  Hopefully others can learn from the myriad of mistakes I made.  Wisdom!

[Shadow]

She is not from an oligarch family.  What I found out the hard way is that this adaptation is not one-sided.  Any woman who comes over from anywhere will experience culture shock and loneliness for about a year.  I know a few Ukrainian-westerners who advised me that Ukrainian women are expensive.  I don't want to make any undue generalizations based on my limited experiences, but I think it is because she is European.  They just have higher expectations than I think we do.  I wish I had a more intelligent answer.

Thank you!  Hopefully others can learn from the myriad of mistakes I made.  Wisdom!

It depends on what you call expensive. The basic idea in many parts of Europe is that a single high quality item beats many inexpensive ones. While the initial cost may be above what you are used to, the long run cost will be considerably less.

[lordtiberius]

It depends on what you call expensive.

I would absolutely agree with that statement.  My only point being a difference of perspectives.  I tend to buy cheap throw away stuff.  That can be costly in the long run.

[Jumper]

Congratulations! I wish you both the best!!!

[Jumper]

and I'd disagree with 5 and 7

[dogspot]

and I'd disagree with 5 and 7

Congratulations LT!

...echoing what Jumper said. At least Siberian women, from my experience.

[lordtiberius]

Congratulations LT!

...echoing what Jumper said. At least Siberian women, from my experience.

Ha ha ha,

You know what you men are right.

It beats the alternative.  It's cheaper to keep her.

I am 40.  So I am a bit more slower to overreact to nonsense than when I wore a younger man's clothes.  But I am less adaptable so I have to work on that.  Making her happy makes me happy.  That is new for me.  She has already improved my life.  I am 20 pounds lighter since she has come over, unfortunately I am still a pretty big boy.  She is a good woman.  My parents like her more than me, is that true for you?  Maybe it's because I am so lovable . . .

[ML]

5) Ukrainian women are very expensive.

What are the latest quoted prices; assuming standard model with the most common options.

[JayH]

Hey LT--fill us in a little more-- it is all sounding very good--but I do not want to be premature here.

[lordtiberius]

Hey LT--fill us in a little more-- it is all sounding very good--but I do not want to be premature here.

What do you want to know?

I wake up everyday with the thought that it could fall apart in an instant despite my best efforts.  Maybe that's wrong, but's me.

[Noch1]

I don't find my Ukrainian wife expensive, and she likes nice things.
I also had a talk to her about money and cost of life here.
She tends to be a good shopper and finds deals on good stuff.
She knows I would spend more, but it never happens.
But its all relative, without examples.

WHen you say expensive, what are you talking about?
wants the 120 shoes or 800 shoes?
Fur coats? New 120k car?
Again its relative if you make 50 k a year or 200k.

[southernX]

LT congratulations 

Congratulations LT!
DISAGREE WITH 5 & 7
...echoing what Jumper said. At least Siberian women, from my experience.

agree +100%
LT   my wife likes to choose well and buy good quality , things that will last for ages over time and give our family /home good value on the money spent

LT I wake up everyday with the thought that it could fall apart in an instant despite my best efforts.  Maybe that's wrong, but's me

LT , have faith not fear my man 
you are your familys anchor rock , be that man , stick to your agreed plan and stay confident , patient , understanding and loving , , dont flinch from it , dont second guess you or your wifes committment to each other no matter what ,

insecurity feeds on itself, so stop it dead if it creeps in at any time ,

the next year or two will be your hardest, understanding this fully will be your test,
together , you will grow & it will deepen between you and you will reap the reward if you stay the course,

best wishes SX

[CDW]

It is only expensive if you buy the wrong wife !!

[CDW]

H
I am 40.  So I am a bit more slower to overreact to nonsense than when I wore a younger man's clothes.

You would need an Image consultant if you need help.  Any image consultants would advise you to wear clothes at your own age!

[Jumper]

What do you want to know?

I wake up everyday with the thought that it could fall apart in an instant despite my best efforts.  Maybe that's wrong, but's me.

As long as you are both making good effort, you should get lose those fears, relax and enjoy each others company


 It seems a done deal,but you were not completely clear if you are married, or in the K1's,  90 day stage.









 

[Gator]

LT,

Congratulations.   

I wake up everyday with the thought that it could fall apart in an instant despite my best efforts.  Maybe that's wrong, but's me.

I hope this is nothing more than adjustment to each other and her adjustment to America. 


Stop worrying.   I am sure you have many fine qualities that she finds wonderful.  Instead of worrying, embrace waking up and starting a new day with someone who is the delight of your heart. 

[lordtiberius]

LT congratulations 

agree +100%
LT   my wife likes to choose well and buy good quality , things that will last for ages over time and give our family /home good value on the money spent



LT , have faith not fear my man 
you are your familys anchor rock , be that man , stick to your agreed plan and stay confident , patient , understanding and loving , , dont flinch from it , dont second guess you or your wifes committment to each other no matter what ,

insecurity feeds on itself, so stop it dead if it creeps in at any time ,

the next year or two will be your hardest, understanding this fully will be your test,
together , you will grow & it will deepen between you and you will reap the reward if you stay the course,

best wishes SX

This has been the advice I have been returning to for further digestion.  Thank you!

[Faux Pas]

She is not from an oligarch family.  What I found out the hard way is that this adaptation is not one-sided.  Any woman who comes over from anywhere will experience culture shock and loneliness for about a year.  I know a few Ukrainian-westerners who advised me that Ukrainian women are expensive.  I don't want to make any undue generalizations based on my limited experiences, but I think it is because she is European.  They just have higher expectations than I think we do.  I wish I had a more intelligent answer.

Thank you!  Hopefully others can learn from the myriad of mistakes I made.  Wisdom!

All women are expensive. It's in their DNA. You'll adjust, learn to when to turn her loose or reign her in based on your realities.

I am 40.  So I am a bit more slower to overreact to nonsense than when I wore a younger man's clothes.  But I am less adaptable so I have to work on that.  Making her happy makes me happy.  That is new for me.  She has already improved my life. 

That is an excellent statement LT and one that only most guys that feel it, would actually make it. When you feel that in most instances, you'll find that she will reciprocate those feelings. That statement alone tells me you have turned a vital corner in your relationship.

Stop worrying that it could end tomorrow because, indeed it could. Rather enjoy the day and the knowledge that you love her and she loves you. It could all be gone tomorrow, of your doing or not. Worry about the things you can affect forget about those you can't.

Congrats btw 

[Shadow]

Ha ha ha,

You know what you men are right.

It beats the alternative.  It's cheaper to keep her.

I am 40.  So I am a bit more slower to overreact to nonsense than when I wore a younger man's clothes.  But I am less adaptable so I have to work on that.  Making her happy makes me happy.  That is new for me.  She has already improved my life.  I am 20 pounds lighter since she has come over, unfortunately I am still a pretty big boy.  She is a good woman.  My parents like her more than me, is that true for you?  Maybe it's because I am so lovable . . .

Hmm... 20 pounds is about 40 USD, hardly expensive 
Congratulations on starting the hard work, and hopefully it will last a long time.

[BC]

My wife loves Luisa Spagngoli.  Once a year we'll 'splurge' for this or that at the store dropping $500 or so.  Quality stuff but after 10 years the first have landed in the clothes collection box to be turned into rags...  maybe I'll have to turn her on to ebay LOL

[southernX]

LT,
as you are now finding out the first year or two is really when the hard work begins for most relationships , having faith/trust in each other and keeping the romance alive as you both adjust to the day to day realities of living together

i found if i stayed confident , patient, understanding and loving /caring  even in sometimes trying situations , it kept all the small stuff , well small ,

allowing even a little bit of anxiety or stress to creep in and second guess things, was a killer , my wifes radar on my moods was very fine tuned and she would pick up on it , every time !! this had a chain reaction to her moods etc &our early interaction ,
it was only sometimes , but it was essential to have faith not fear until we really melded into each other over the first year or so


people often look for some agenda or motives, in others , , humans seem to need to have an answer for everything , often it is simply making someone else happy that  is making us happy and more positive people ourselves

SX

[lordtiberius]

LT,
as you are now finding out the first year or two is really when the hard work begins for most relationships , having faith/trust in each other and keeping the romance alive as you both adjust to the day to day realities of living together

i found if i stayed confident , patient, understanding and loving /caring  even in sometimes trying situations , it kept all the small stuff , well small ,

allowing even a little bit of anxiety or stress to creep in and second guess things, was a killer , my wifes radar on my moods was very fine tuned and she would pick up on it , every time !! this had a chain reaction to her moods etc &our early interaction ,
it was only sometimes , but it was essential to have faith not fear until we really melded into each other over the first year or so


people often look for some agenda or motives, in others , , humans seem to need to have an answer for everything , often it is simply making someone else happy that  is making us happy and more positive people ourselves

SX

SX,

Thank you for your heartfelt letter. Many things that you wrote are worthy of consideration.  Here are some of the points I would like to go over:

1) "as you are now finding out the first year or two is really when the hard work begins for most relationships"

Relationships don't get real IMO or IMHO unless they tend toward marriage.  It just got real like yesterday.

2) "having faith/trust in each other and keeping the romance alive as you both adjust to the day to day realities of living together"

She is a good woman and deserves my best effort.  Keeping romance alive.  Romance - eros - amour - love . . .

Conversation - it is a lost art.  Conversation is the art of giving and receiving pleasure. . . .

Give and take and negotiations, you know I spent a lot of time but really only a year and half in the middle east.  Jesus is from there.  I have to remind myself of that fact when I think of how many of my friends found their end there.

digression



where was I?

THIS IS THE GREAT CRISIS.

3) "i found if i stayed confident , patient, understanding and loving /caring  even in sometimes trying situations , it kept all the small stuff , well small ,"




"patient, understanding and loving"

4)  "allowing even a little bit of anxiety or stress to creep in and second guess things, was a killer , my wifes radar on my moods was very fine tuned and she would pick up on it , every time !! this had a chain reaction to her moods etc &our early interaction ,
it was only sometimes , but it was essential to have faith not fear until we really melded into each other over the first year or so "

see point 3

I don't know what else to say except this.  Most Ukrainian women seem to glamourize foreign men over native borns because of the dire of the rationing of political and economic situation.  I would only remind the reader that this favorable trade wind has consequences on the voyage home. 

LT,

Congratulations.   


I hope this is nothing more than adjustment to each other and her adjustment to America. 


Stop worrying.   I am sure you have many fine qualities that she finds wonderful.  Instead of worrying, embrace waking up and starting a new day with someone who is the delight of your heart.

You live like a punk.  You go out like a punk.

 

I am in South Florida.  Betsy hates gators more almost as much as our other friends

Hmm... 20 pounds is about 40 USD, hardly expensive 
Congratulations on starting the hard work, and hopefully it will last a long time.

We have something in common.  You have my admiration.  You have your ranger tab.