Is pursuing an FSU wife for everyone?

[2tallbill]

In my opinion and the opinion of others not everybody is suited
to pursue a woman from the former Soviet Union. In this thread
we will discuss things that make people not suited to pursuing
a Russian woman for romance, marriage and making a family.

[krimster2]

worse characteristics to have?

being poor, stupid, and horny while seeing hot pictures of Russian women on various web sites
and then thinking that you have a shot at some super model...
what could be worse than that?
I mean, the letdown they're gonna be in for!!
and the multi hundreds of dollars spent on "letters, etc".....

delusion d'amour

[Patagonie]

You are not persistant,
You don't have a strong common sense
You are not well off
You have no experience with women or almost none 
 You try to date women out of your league and I would say far out of your league
You have some problems to commit
YOu want to commit too fast
You don't know the culture
You believe that dating should be economically shared
You are undecisive when you are with a woman
You spend too much time writing
You cannot allow enough vacations to this endeavor
You are waiting positive validation of your family, and friends
You don't have mourny the previous one
You speak badly of her country 
 You say that you or your country will save her 
You forget to remove your shoes when you come in any FSU flat
You keep all photos of your ex(s) in your mobile phone
You try to whistle in the house 
You touch and grab your nose in a family lunch when you have guests 
You start to give some numerals about your assets and paychecks while you date her
You don't know shit about economy of her country
YOu want her to come first but you never met her yet 
You go in a big shopping center without any definition about the budget for the day
You are not capable to catch a spider in the house (forget women for ever).

[2tallbill]

Not everyone is cut out for FSU women. Many men get
chewed up and their bones and broken hearts will litter
the ground. Pat started an excellent list of things that will
lead to huge problems and I added a few more at the end.   

1. You are not persistent,
2. You don't have a strong common sense
3. You are not well off
4. You have no experience with women or almost none
5a. You try to date women out of your league and I would say
5b. far out of your league
6. You have some problems to commit
7. You want to commit too fast
8. You don't know the culture
9. You believe that dating should be economically shared
10. You are indecisive when you are with a woman
11. You spend too much time writing
12. You cannot allow enough vacations to this endeavor
13. You are waiting positive validation of your family, and friends
14. You haven't finished getting over your previous love
15. You speak badly of her country 
16. You say that you or your country will save her 
17. You forget to remove your shoes when you come in any FSU flat
18. You keep all photos of your ex(s) in your mobile phone
19. You try to whistle in the house 
20. You touch and grab your nose in a family lunch when you have guests 
21. You start to give some numerals about your assets and paychecks
while you date her
22. You don't know shit about economy of her country
23. You want her to visit you in your country first 
24. You go in a big shopping center without any definition
about the budget for the day
25. You are not capable to catch a spider in the house (forget women for ever).

Excellent list Pat. I put it in list form for you. I assumed what you
meant on numbers 14 and 23 and wrote them so that they were
easier to understand in English.  Let me know if I didn't get it right.

I came up with a few additions for Pats list.

26. (or 10b) If you can't decide which girl is best. There are 6 girls
each has their pluses, minuses and level of interest. If you can't
figure out which one is the best one for you, then you will suck at this.

27. You can't dump a smoking hot woman or

28. You will let a smoking hot woman walk all over you.

29. You choose a hot girl over a good girl. 

30. You ignore red flags

31. You project thoughts, feelings or characteristics onto others.

32. (or 1b) You can't dust yourself off and try again. You will
almost surely fail the first time, almost everyone does. To be
successful at this you be able to get back on the horse and
give it another go.

33a. You can't learn from the mistakes of others or
33b. From your own mistakes.

34. You will continue to pursue a woman who is not as
interested/enthusiastic about you as you are about her.

35. (should be number 1.) Don't know what the F#ck
you want. If you don't know where you are going then
any road will get you there.

36. You want to skip steps or take shortcuts

37. You don't do your due diligence

38. You don't discuss everything under the sun and decide
to just assume her values/opinions match yours. 

39. You half ass things.

40. You are gullible/naive 

41. You make excuses for others

42. You don't have patience

43. You misrepresent yourself

44. You aren't honest

45. You don't insist in honesty in your relationship 

46. You think you can buy a woman

47. You pursue desperate girls

48. You lose your perspective after you've had sex

49. You allow things in a FSU relationship that you
would never allow in a local relationship.

50. You are paranoid of getting scammed.

[ML]

Who should not pursue foreign mates:

Those with not enough money.
Those with not enough vacation time, or not retired.
Those with no understanding or desire to know about the history and culture of the foreign country.
Those who think it is wise to learn the language of the foreign country, rather than focus on gals who know language of where the two of you will live.
Those with little education, yet corresponding with higher educated gals.
Those who focus almost exclusively on looks.
Those who interact with gals desperate to leave their country.
Those who interact with gals living in very hard to reach areas which will add to the already huge problems as the dating process moves along and continue to haunt as she makes return trips after marriage.
Those who try to achieve woman far out of their league in any of several respects.
Those who seek or accept large age differences.
Note:  These last two can be overcome if you have something special.  e.g. Large money, fantastically fun to be with, a nobility title, famous as athlete, politician, actor, poet, artist, writer, etc.
Those who are beta males.
Those who are extreme alpha males.
Those who refer to the Ukraine.
Those who refer to Kiev.
Those who don't care to help someone adapt and learn . . . a lot
Those who disagree with me.

[GQBlues]

Cross-cultural relationships/marriages have so much more added challenges that goes beyond the usual ebbs in relationships/marriages.

FSU MOB exist not because of some silly preconceived ideals but simply a filler of a void.

Is this for everyone? Anyone can do whatever they want. Just be honest as to the real reason why.

[krimster2]

your Russian wife's first Christmas?
you better "make it rain down here"!!!
I mean, freakin box after box of diamonds and platinum baby
better be sittin there under that tree on Orthodox Christmas morning....

do that and next Christmas your wife will give you a present
and the year after that as well

[Patagonie]

Not everyone is cut out for FSU women. Many men get
chewed up and their bones and broken hearts will litter
the ground. Pat started an excellent list of things that will
lead to huge problems and I added a few more at the end.   

Excellent list Pat. I put it in list form for you. I assumed what you
meant on numbers 14 and 23 and wrote them so that they were
easier to understand in English.  Let me know if I didn't get it right.

I came up with a few additions for Pats list.

26. (or 10b) If you can't decide which girl is best. There are 6 girls
each has their pluses, minuses and level of interest. If you can't
figure out which one is the best one for you, then you will suck at this.

27. You can't dump a smoking hot woman or

28. You will let a smoking hot woman walk all over you.

29. You choose a hot girl over a good girl. 

30. You ignore red flags

31. You project thoughts, feelings or characteristics onto others.

32. (or 1b) You can't dust yourself off and try again. You will
almost surely fail the first time, almost everyone does. To be
successful at this you be able to get back on the horse and
give it another go.

33a. You can't learn from the mistakes of others or
33b. From your own mistakes.

34. You will continue to pursue a woman who is not as
interested/enthusiastic about you as you are about her.

35. (should be number 1.) Don't know what the F#ck
you want. If you don't know where you are going then
any road will get you there.

36. You want to skip steps or take shortcuts

37. You don't do your due diligence

38. You don't discuss everything under the sun and decide
to just assume her values/opinions match yours. 

39. You half ass things.

40. You are gullible/naive 

41. You make excuses for others

42. You don't have patience

43. You misrepresent yourself

44. You aren't honest

45. You don't insist in honesty in your relationship 

46. You think you can buy a woman

47. You pursue desperate girls

48. You lose your perspective after you've had sex

49. You allow things in a FSU relationship that you
would never allow in a local relationship.

50. You are paranoid of getting scammed.

 
Well done Bill, thank to correct my english

[Trenchcoat]

Is this for everyone? Anyone can do whatever they want. Just be honest as to the real reason why.

Exactly!

If we look at the documentary, 'Love Me' (2014) there a guy on there. In You Tube comments some called him a social retard and the FSW he found, a tranny. Yet it worked for him, he ended up having a kid with that girl and they were apparently very happy together.

Pat has some good points on his list but I would suggest having a few of those doesn't necessarily mean a guy isn't cut out for this venture. They may cause him trouble and if he learnt and found not to be like that and why his chances may be better. In its entirety  of the guy did pretty much all of those things but never learnt then it could be a problem. Again no reason for him to walk off if he's enjoying what he is doing. How many seriously old guys go on romance tours knowing the young girls they fondle at the do's are not sincere but enjoy it all the same?

Now I know some guys are going to say that the stuff on Pat's list is roughly me. I disagree, at points in my search some of those have been but that is not to say they are now. Some guys go to the FSU and their luck is in straight away, just by random chance they meet a sincere woman and they are interested in each other. There is little learning to do there and they haven't had to traverse insincere women by the grace of random chance. So they never have to traverse the pitfalls many other guys do but to say it was for them wouldn't be correct as they were successful down to random good fortune.

[msmob]

The rule about her coming to your place, first is SILLY, IMHO

Provided you visit her place, too, after, what's the issue ?

Example: I found my first wife in v.late Oct .. we agreed we should meet in Nov and the choice was Siberia or an island in the Med that would be were she would live ( if we clicked )  and it was still bikini weather ..

( To save ML posting: Even then I didn't look good in a bikini !)

[2tallbill]

The rule about her coming to your place, first is SILLY, IMHO

It's a smart rule, remember rules are general things. None of
these rules have zero exceptions. For the average newbie it's
a rule to visit her first. Also remember it's usually far easier
for men to get a visa to Russia than a Russian girl getting a
visa to visit the USA, Canada or Australia.

Also this isn't a list of rules, it's a description of guys who aren't
suited for this venture. Guy usually a half dozen of these traits
not only one.

[msmob]

It's a smart rule, remember rules are general things. None of
these rules have zero exceptions. For the average newbie it's
a rule to visit her first. Also remember it's usually far easier
for men to get a visa to Russia than a Russian girl getting a
visa to visit the USA, Canada or Australia.

Also this isn't a list of rules, it's a description of guys who aren't
suited for this venture. Guy usually a half dozen of these traits
not only one.

So what you're saying is ..

It's a 'rule', because some blokes live in nations with tougher visa regs, re FSU tourists ?

As the gal will be seeing the place where she'll live ( as long as the guy checks her life out  ..if you can).. the order is irrelevant

Ergo, a VERY silly rule.  As it make no sense, at all..

[2tallbill]

So what you're saying is ..

It's a 'rule', because some blokes live in nations with tougher visa regs, re FSU tourists ?

I didn't say that, you are twisting my words. 

What is the title of the thread?

Is pursuing an FSU wife for everyone?

Then there is a list of traits that tend to exclude the punters.
Nowhere does it say that if you exhibit one or two of those
traits that you are doomed.

It's pretty clear if you aren't trying to twist things around.

As the gal will be seeing the place where she'll live ( as long as the guy checks her life out  ..if you can).. the order is irrelevant

Ergo, a VERY silly rule.  As it make no sense, at all..

The order IS relevant and most men live in places where it isn't
easy for a woman to get a visa to. Secondly you will usually have to
send some money to a girl that you haven't met in person in order
to facilitate the trip. Thirdly you are just arguing because that's
what you do. That is your sport and while I enjoy engaging you
from time to time. I am impatient today and not motivated to do so.

Udachi!

Bill

[msmob]

I didn't say that, you are twisting my words. 

Ah, so it's not ( quoting your good self) a "list of things that will
lead to huge problems"


My 'bad' ..

[2tallbill]

Ah, so it's not ( quoting your good self) a "list of things that will
lead to huge problems"


My 'bad' ..

If you have ten of those things, YOU WILL have big problems.
If you have ONE of those things, you might have problems.


[EDIT TO ADD]

I have done/exhibited several of the things on the list although rarely
several of them at the same time. It did take me 9 years to get it right.

[msmob]

If you have ten of those things, YOU WILL have big problems.
If you have ONE of those things, you might have problems.

Beel,

I'm 'sorry', but you're missing my point ..

WHY is where you meet first ( yours or mine ) a creating a problem ?   

I realise it's something chaps in SOME nations cannot manage so easily ..but it is not a 'problem' ( a red flag')

[2tallbill]

Beel,

I'm 'sorry', but you're missing my point ..

WHY is where you meet first ( yours or mine ) a creating a problem ?   

I realise it's something chaps in SOME nations cannot manage so easily ..but it is not a 'problem' ( a red flag')

RWD Commandment NUMERO UNO
1. Never send money to someone you have never met.

I know super savvy international daters who have done this with
excellent results. Our mutual friend Don in 'peg is an example. Yet
I am going to advise newbies against it.

After a point in time in my search, I knew what I was doing. A
girl came to Portland Oregon to visit me that I had never met in
person. It didn't work out but it wasn't because she came to visit
me first. I will still advise newbies to travel to meet the girl in her
city first.   

[Boethius]

You are not capable to catch a spider in the house (forget women for ever).

This is mostly manipulation to make a man feel "manly" about himself.  Most women are perfectly capable of killing or removing insects, particularly if they grew up in rural or semi rural environments.

Personally, I draw the line at mice.  Never had one in the house, but have on our deck (killed before they make their way into the house). 

This post was composed without the aid of google.

[GenMish]

This is mostly manipulation to make a man feel "manly" about himself.  Most women are perfectly capable of killing or removing insects, particularly if they grew up in rural or semi rural environments.

Personally, I draw the line at mice.  Never had one in the house, but have on our deck (killed before they make their way into the house). 

This post was composed without the aid of google.

I have to disagree
In 23 years, my Ex did ALL the handyman work around the house. All I had to do was supply tools and materials, and she accomplished any task. She is a magnificent lady, accomplished tasks that I couldnt do. In her teens, she helped her dad build Dachas, thats how they survived the fall of the USSR. But when it came to spiders, mice and noises in the night, she called upon me

[2tallbill]

But when it came to spiders, mice and noises in the night, she called upon me

Smiley Girl was terrified of spiders. Angel Eyes not so much but
in Texas we have all sorts of crawly things including snakes, a wide
variety of lizards, fire ants, ticks, and spiders. I am definitely called
whenever a snake presents itself.

[GQBlues]

There's been so many men who relied on these 'rules' and 'lists' that went down in flames that we've all seen come through these halls. There's been so many who thought they 'made it' because they followed the '10 commandments' only to flame out within one to two years of importing their FSUW. Few lasted a few more months or years, but still reached the inevitable.

No absolution in generalities.

The worst mistake RWD, and RWG before it, is 'create' these rules for a person to follow. If any of these men are totally ignorant in how to relate and communicate with a woman to begin with, especially in search of a lifelong partner, nothing in any 'rules' or 'list' is ever going to help, or change that fact. This thread's 'rules and lists' would only give that idiot a false sense of comprehension.  Square peg, round hole syndrome.

For the very vast majority of men who had embarked, is embarking, will embark on this venture - there's an underlying reason as to why they even contemplated doing this in the first place. And it ain't 'love of FSU history and culture'. Nor is it FSUW are more feminine and WW are fat. I do not know why many of you fellas keep this silly cycle alive and keep kidding yourselves.

This site should be confined to giving travel and respective immigration details. Maybe cultural information. Beyond this, buyer beware. If guys aren't innately tooled to recognize scam sites, they shouldn't be travelling in a country halfway around the world, speaks a different language, in search of a wife.

After all these years, you guys are still practicing what should already be painfully obvious that this doesn't really work nor does it really 'help' anyone. If anything, it misleads many of these men that this is the way forward.

[krimster2]

if you fail...
who should you blame?
where does the fault lie?

I’m a middle aged geezer with a “dad’s bod"
but I have a HUGE multitude of female admirers in Russia
thanks not only to the immense size of my wife’s and  daughter’s Russian networks
but also to my Russian speaking ability on VK and Viber

among the many things I’ve done in Moscva
I’ve had an art show in a West Moscow art gallery and “elitny" Russian women were ALL over me there like sharks after red meat
just eyeing me up and down and whispering to each other before they started to hit on me

if women come up to me in Moscow and start talking to me
my daughters get jealous and will start to get into some kind of argument with the woman
this happens all the time with them
after, the first month I will start to spend less time with them and more on my own

I have a lot of very close personal friendships with young Russian women like my lawyer who is currently house sitting for me...
women who are mentally and physically exceptional and just a couple of years older than my own children, I enjoy being around them and I get a lot of warmth from them....
the most “that I let them do” is to show me themselves naked or topless
because they want my approval, so I readily give them that
then the nudity becomes less
unfortunately...
but I don't let it go past that

[msmob]

RWD Commandment NUMERO UNO
1. Never send money to someone you have never met.

I know super savvy international daters who have done this with
excellent results. Our mutual friend Don in 'peg is an example. Yet
I am going to advise newbies against it.

After a point in time in my search, I knew what I was doing. A
girl came to Portland Oregon to visit me that I had never met in
person. It didn't work out but it wasn't because she came to visit
me first. I will still advise newbies to travel to meet the girl in her
city first.

Beel, now, you're obfuscating..

Are you NOW trying to suggest 'her meeting you at your place, first, is wrong', because it involves sending her money?

I bought the flight tickets and whilst V could have sneaked past me at the airport and / or run into someone else's arms..   I knew she wouldn't and froze my n*ts off as I got off the plane in Feb, in Siberia, 2 months later..

Lot's of us have broken that 'rule' (who are more seasoned encountering FSU W)

[rwd123]

Specific to cross-cultural dating with FSUW -

• You must be a man.
• You must be street smart.
• You can think rationally when required (which is most of the time).
• You value language skills.
• You are realistic.
• You do NOT rely solely on the internet to meet women.
• You have an interest in the country/culture other than women.
• You have a long-term view - you accept an LTR could take years.
• You have a 1-3 year visa in your passport (for Russia).
• You have time.
• You have money.
• You have time.
• You have money.
• You have time.
• You have money.

Guys who are "in the game" like Pat have credible thoughts, whereas guys who have long been "out of the game" may have excellent relationship advice but not dating advice.

[msmob]

Guys who are "in the game" like Pat have credible thoughts, whereas guys who have long been "out of the game" may have excellent relationship advice but not dating advice.

I'm going to assume you include me in that, so I'll respond !

Reading Pat's dating exploits is amusing and somewhat pitiful.

You guys may be using apps rather than dating sites and you get less chance to impress - before getting swiped the wrong way, but Pat's advice is more for the sex tourist than a serious wife search