Russian Women Discussion

RWD Discussion Groups => Trip Reports => Topic started by: kynrazor on March 20, 2018, 11:16:03 PM

Title: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: kynrazor on March 20, 2018, 11:16:03 PM
As most who are active here would probably recall, my search for a woman in the FSU began when my interest in Russian novels like War & Peace by Leo Tolstoy led to my current fascination with Russian culture and its rich history which subsequently, led me to seriously consider the prospect of Russian women and consequently FSU women as future soulmates.

I'm a research student with modest means surviving on a modest stipend. Sometimes, life as a research student can be very very hectic but it hasn't stopped me from continuing my search during any of the periods of free time I could actually garner.

Throughout the past 9 months since my first and last trip to Moscow in June 2017, I have been keeping myself busy sorting, filtering suitable potential partners, chatting, video calling and even singing along with multiple women at any given week just to gauge potential compatibility, before eliminating the less suitable ones slowly and steadily. I've probably worked through 1000s of profiles at this point and with all that much work, my search so far has only turned up four prospective women, though all are really quite nice women of decent character and integrity.

__________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________
My Trip Schedule consists of four parts:

1st Part:
Stay in Kazan from 21 March till 24 March for 4 nights to meet Girl1, aged 21, who studies at a local University in Kazan. She's an aspiring plant & forestry scientist & we've discussed so many about my life situation with her and vice versa though she doesn't really connect well with me when I try to discuss matters of philosophy with her. Nevertheless, she's even conveyed to me her interest in moving with me no matter which place or country I may decide to stay in the future. She's been the 2nd most interested in me, sometimes calling me to ask how I am feeling.  :o :D

2nd Part:
Stay in Nizhny Novgorod from 25 March till 27 March for 3 nights to meet Girl2 who has worked since she was 16. Apparently as a hairdresser before becoming a real-estate agent in Nizhny Novgorod. I've found her the most childish of the four though I've been attracted to her physical appearance (especially the face) the first time I laid my eyes on her. She's currently aged 19. Has no qualms about moving away from Russia but have an uneasy feeling about whether or not she's a golddigger. She was the only one who suggested to me to live with her in her apartment for the duration of my stay in her city. An offer I humbly took up.

3rd Part:
Stay in Vladimir from 28 March till 31 March for 4 nights to meet Girl3 who I've talked about here:
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=22539
As of today, she's been the one who's expressed the most interest in me. She also told me she told her mother about me (and that was way before I have even considered travelling all the way to her small city to meet her!). She gives me voice messages every single day, even for things as trivial as greeting me good morning during the day. She's even advised me (without me asking for it) what clothes to wear, which places to stay etc etc. In short, she's the most eager of the lot, aged only 18 this year.

4th Part:
Stay in Moscow from 1st April till 7 April for 7 nights to meet Girl4 and hopefully get to know each other better. I've talked about this Muscovite lass before in the thread here:
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=22167
She's a language student, aged 22, who is about to finish University this year. I trust the thread will suffice to give a good picture of her personality. I do sense that she seems quite selective in her search for her future partner because I do have the feeling that she doesn't seem to want to give her all, to commit herself fully, yet. Perhaps past dating experiences have scarred her.
__________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________

I have made it a point to make sure no matter the circumstances, there will be no sex involved in my trip as I do not want it to cloud my judgement as I have reasons to believe sex more often than not skews the decision-making process and introduces biases that make you view the prospective woman in a more positive light. Hugs and kisses I have no issues with though.

Flight tickets have been booked (months ago), Visa approved (weeks ago), Things packed (days ago) and Souvenirs prepared (just yesterday). Now all that is left...is to simply execute my planned trip, and pray my heart will point me towards the right direction.

Can't wait to see what nasty or pleasant surprises are waiting in store for me. I have no doubt it'll certainly be a trip to remember (& write down)  :popcorn:

Today, as I sit in a cafe in Heathrow Airport, typing away my plans and reflections here whilst waiting for KLM to whisk me away to Russia, a question keeps popping up from my subconscious as to whether all the preparation, shortlisting & so forth was really worth the effort. At times, I do wonder whether my quest for finding my future partner in the FSU was really silly to begin with by making dating even more difficult than it is already with all the long distance whatnot... Then again, someone famous once said "We do things not because they are easy but because they are hard".

I certainly have no logical reasons to why I needed to throw the net so wide around the FSU in search of my elusive woman, especially when in actual fact, there are perfectly good, honest and hardworking women of various ethnic stock in my neighbourhood who have shown some interest in me once in awhile.

Perhaps I was enticed by certain pieces of literature that have ever come out of this old civilisation so much so that I immediately fell in love with Russian culture and its portrayal of amazingly strong, tough and loyal FSU women. Or perhaps I'm doing it because I'm not thinking straight, in which case, ML would be right in a sense, that only those who are crazy enough, end up travelling to such a foreign culture in their search for a future partner.  :rolleyes:

I guess the only way to ever find peace with myself, is to actually go and do it...
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Sting23 on March 21, 2018, 01:53:48 AM
Good luck Kyn!!  I like people who take action.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: msmob on March 21, 2018, 05:17:29 AM
Yes, Good luck Kyn

I'm hoping you haven't shared some of your resolutions ;)

We have friends in N.N and Moscow - if you need help !
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Hammer2722 on March 21, 2018, 07:02:07 AM
Good luck, hoping you can update this thread when you can find the time.  :clapping:
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: ML on March 21, 2018, 10:08:20 AM
I think you are pretty foolish for doing this at your age and with teenage girls.
But I hope that this trip will help dispel the romantic notions you have about it from readings of old books.

Billy was and is successful after connecting with a teenage girl, however his circumstances are much different than yours.  He is a successful business man who can provide for himself and for a wife.  And he appears to have the spare time to care for her and help her adjust.

You on the other hand are a struggling student who cannot provide for a wife, particularly a foreign wife and will not have the time to look after her.

And foregoing sex is pretty foolish, especially if it is offered.  Without it for any particular woman, you are left to some future time to discover that the two of you are completely incompatible regarding sex.

However, I do wish you the best.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on March 21, 2018, 12:19:42 PM
ML makes some good points Kyn, but I would say the experience you will gain will be invaluable. So you may not succeed this time or you may but laying the work early on to understand the FSU dating scene can be invaluable in a few years time when you are hopefully in a better financial position. You will know your way around the FSU dating scene by then and know what works better and what doesn't. I'm guessing also this trip with all the travelling will cost you a bit so may put your finances under strain. I would say have fun on this trip, don't take it too seriously or pin your hopes on finding 'the one' you well might it can happen. ML makes a good point in finding out about the equipment she is carrying :D Some girls are easier to make love to than others. If its a difficulty with a girl then it may start to be a downer on the relationship.

18 & 19 year old girls may well be decent propositions for you based on your 'potential' do well in the long term, plus you are also near their age. Just be aware that a decent amount of dosh behind you can help out a relationship a fair bit with the right girl. Also if you're potential does not later materialize then the girl may plum for someone else or if you don't follow through with a girl because of lack of finances in getting with her she is likely to look for other guys.

Gook luck on your trip, I know what its like about to board a flight before an adventure in the FSU, so much fun! :) 
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: LAman on March 21, 2018, 12:31:59 PM
Snowing in Moscow and SPb. Seems the clouds and snow will follow you your whole trip.

I think what ML says is pretty right on. Best if trip was only about experiences. Lots of traveling in a short time. I am guessing everything is by train coming back from Kazan.

Hope you have an Eskimo suit and some good snow shoes!!!

Would like if you can write some thoughts as you move about(not the girls).
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: jone on March 21, 2018, 01:26:43 PM
Your trip takes you to three cities of the Golden Ring (Nizhny Novgorod, Vladimir and Moscow).   This is an area rich in history.  Were I you, I would buy some enamels in Vladimir (they are famous for them) and make sure you make a side trip to Suzdal.  It is the greatest collection of Kremlins and churches in the country, and is only about ten miles from Vladimir.  Also,  if you have the time, Ivanovo is the home of the fabric industry in Russia.  It, as well, is close to Vladimir.  It has a textile museum, but it also has the greatest ratio of women to men in the country, thus its name of 'City of the Brides'.  (Not to be confused with Mykolaiv in Ukraine.)

Good luck and we will enjoy hearing of your travels.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: LAman on March 21, 2018, 01:50:45 PM
Your trip takes you to three cities of the Golden Ring (Nizhny Novgorod, Vladimir and Moscow).   This is an area rich in history.  Were I you, I would buy some enamels in Vladimir (they are famous for them) and make sure you make a side trip to Suzdal.  It is the greatest collection of Kremlins and churches in the country, and is only about ten miles from Vladimir.  Also,  if you have the time, Ivanovo is the home of the fabric industry in Russia.  It, as well, is close to Vladimir.  It has a textile museum, but it also has the greatest ratio of women to men in the country, thus its name of 'City of the Brides'.  (Not to be confused with Mykolaiv in Ukraine.)

Good luck and we will enjoy hearing of your travels.

Jone, I didn't realize Nizhny Novgorod is recognized as a golden ring city or Moscow being part of ring( it was 'centre' of ring). I thought it was only 8 cities northeast of Moscow.

Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: BillyB on March 21, 2018, 02:32:51 PM
there will be no sex involved in my trip as I do not want it to cloud my judgement as I have reasons to believe sex more often than not skews the decision-making process and introduces biases that make you view the prospective woman in a more positive light. Hugs and kisses I have no issues with though.



When a woman takes all her clothes off and grinds on you, it clouds your judgement. All your brains go out the big head and down to the little head. If a woman is sexually attracted to you, don't hold it against her. Beware of the women who aren't sexually attracted to you.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: jone on March 21, 2018, 03:05:59 PM
Jone, I didn't realize Nizhny Novgorod is recognized as a golden ring city or Moscow being part of ring( it was 'centre' of ring). I thought it was only 8 cities northeast of Moscow.

It is traditionally, but not in the current list.  One interesting thing about Nizhny is that there is a section of it called Limpopo.  Those of us in the US will note that Maxine Waters made it quite famous.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on March 21, 2018, 06:58:56 PM

When a woman takes all her clothes off and grinds on you, it clouds your judgement. All your brains go out the big head and down to the little head. If a woman is sexually attracted to you, don't hold it against her. Beware of the women who aren't sexually attracted to you.

I think this is true, it does but also necessary to check out how the two of you go together I think. I'm not sure if abstaining a while would help, obviously having sex usually shows there is chemistry but if the girl has character issues I think these can be clouded somewhat as you say.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on March 21, 2018, 07:14:05 PM

Billy was and is successful after connecting with a teenage girl, however his circumstances are much different than yours.  He is a successful business man who can provide for himself and for a wife.  And he appears to have the spare time to care for her and help her adjust.


I think this is an important point you highlight ML (among the others) not to say Billy used his wad as inducement but that a guy with a very good credentials puts him in the top league that women will be in awe off and know the lifestyle that comes with it. In addition to of course the guy being able to put more resources to the whole venture.

I think a poorer guy can still be successful in this venture but being a successful person in life will be a pull to women that an average joe won't regardless of the money side of things. Kyn being in his mid twenties and a student doesn't have a lot of other options but to stump for the late teen-early twenties girls. Most girls his age or later will not see him as having the provider ability yet that they need at their age. Kyn when do you finish your research student situation?
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Sting23 on March 21, 2018, 07:27:52 PM
Guys, Kyn is a 20 something dude going to a new country to have some dates and some fun.  The girls he will meet probably don't care if he can be a provider or not at this moment. They want to find out who he is first and if he's worth spending time with.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: msmob on March 21, 2018, 11:49:28 PM
Wow, I find myself agreeing with Sting23..  ;)

Kyn we all hope you are having a good time
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on April 09, 2018, 02:58:20 PM
Kyn you must be pretty much done on it all now, how did it all go?
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on April 17, 2018, 07:50:36 AM
Getting a little worried about the little fella now, should have been back a fair while now and as yet no update!
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: ML on April 17, 2018, 01:37:36 PM
Getting a little worried about the little fella now, should have been back a fair while now and as yet no update!

Fell out of a window ?
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Sting23 on April 17, 2018, 03:31:22 PM
He's probably too busy talking to his new girlfriend.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Sting23 on May 16, 2018, 08:37:10 PM
kyn, you there? how'd it go.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: kynrazor on May 20, 2018, 12:44:04 PM
:whew:
I'm back fellow RWD-ers! :D It's been more than three weeks since I have flown back from Russia, but I had to work extra hard to catch up on my research work, and a close uncle passing away in Malaysia didn't do much to help ease my burden.

In the meantime, I have been writing bits and pieces of my journey until yesterday, when I finally got around to uploading the pictures (which took me quite some time to figure out but I ended up using flickr) and compiling my story together. :) This is my contribution to RWD. Enjoy everyone! :popcorn:

Amsterdam
Picking up from where I left off, shortly after starting this thread, I departed from London Heathrow on a short KLM flight to Amsterdam where I had a layover lasting just slightly over an hour before continuing my journey onwards to Moscow on a good old 737 (Pic 001). In fact, so old that you could hear even the interior creaking along in unison down the runway, literally.

Besides the "rough" start, the Inflight meal consisted of a single tiny sandwich!  :-\ I suppose I shouldn't have expected much, considering the fact that the flights were the cheapest deal I could find when I booked months ago.

What I noticed straightaway as I departed Amsterdam, was the drastic increase in the number of Russians aboard, and I was even more impressed to see the Air Hostesses (presumably Dutch) conversing in Russian. The appetite the Russians had for alcohol was nothing short of fascinating. Most I could see kept asking repeatedly for more red wine as soon as they downed the previous one within a minute. I guess there is certainly some truth to the stereotype after all :D

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/871/41702883182_b9fc2d18b3_o.jpg)-Pic 001)

Rushing to Kazansky Station
After a leg numbing 5 hour flight, I landed in Sheremetyevo Airport. Passing immigration was no big issue, even though I haven't even learnt how to speak Russian, which was nice. Then, all my attention shifted to finding an ATM machine as I haven't brought ANY rubles with me with only ~£50 cash in my pocket. There was always a worry at the back of my mind whether my bank cards would work, even though I've been assured it would, after notifying the bank before I left.

As I was withdrawing cash in the airport, several men of mid-age appearance, approached me and started speaking in Russian. That, was where my first trouble began. I told them I could understand English but not Russian and one quickly started chatting away in English as I slowly realised, they were all taxi cabs trying to vie for a deal with me.

Naturally, I told them I was going to take the Aeroexpress to Moscow and then to Kazansky train station but the taxi cab kept arguing it'll be faster if I use the taxi. Now at this point, I was already in a rush to get to Kazansky station for my train which was going to depart for Kazan at 11pm and it was already around 8pm. Putting my faith in this cab's advice after negotiating the price down to 1600rub, I took the cab. One of the WORST decisions I've ever made, as I was in for one of the worst traffic jams I've ever experienced.

I had to say the driver certainly had some guts, zipping across so many lanes, sometimes past the red light just to cut time! Thankfully, I arrived at Kazansky station with still thirty minutes to spare. I was finally here! :) (Pic 002) I figured time was still aplenty, so I went shopping for a mobile sim, and some flowers (yes this time I didn't forget the roses, if you've noticed in Pic 004) and still had a couple minutes to spare as I stood in line to board my carriage which formed a part of the sleeper train. What was certainly interesting was how vintage or archaic the passenger carriages as well as the engine compartments looked (Pic 003). A very far cry from the trains I was used to in England that's for sure! :) And the speed wasn't anything to be in awe about either. It didn't take much for me to fall asleep in my bunk.

I am sure what I was endeavouring to do here, meets the very definition of a Write Many Visit Many (WMVM) trip. Throughout this trip, I had to make sure to give myself at least a day of "downtime" between my travels to date different girls in order to "freshen up".

When I say "freshen up", I mean having a shower, cleaning your clothes of any leftover hair, perfume, stowing away any presents, souvenirs etc and forgetting all the emotional baggage of the last girl you met. Perhaps some people can forget about their previous encounter in just an instant. I admit I can't.

I've had to compartmentalize my feelings for each lass, and I find it is most useful to have at least a day in between, so that one will be able to be on a good, positive state of mind again, ready to commit to the next potential future wife :)

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/974/26875597537_2263493028_o.jpg)-Pic 002) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/945/41702883082_8116622bb0_o.jpg)-Pic 003)

I woke up in the morning to the sounds of the train stopping as it approached a town, but speeding up again as it went further and further, with the sunrise barely noticeable in this cold snowy weather. Even as the day brightened, there wasn't much to be seen except an endless blanket of snow and pockets of forest as the "sleeper" train traversed through the countryside at a slow pace.

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/956/41702882992_c1d831e97e_o.jpg)-Pic 004) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/903/41702882882_dccefd51ee_o.jpg)-Pic 005)

Kazan
Finally, I've arrived in Kazan! (Pic 006 shows the Kazan station. Taken after disembarking). 19 year old lass, Girl1 was there to greet me, all dolled up, patiently waiting for me to get out of my carriage (she even remembered which carriage I was on  :rolleyes:). I presented her with the flowers I've hastily bought in Kazansky station in Moscow. Girl1 really liked them and hugged me :D

Girl1 wasted no time calling for a taxi to get us to my apartment where I was going to stay for four nights. As we waited for the taxi, I started up a conversation and it was from this point on, that I quickly realised that she wasn't exactly fluent in English.

I think I was partly to blame for not noticing it earlier, as I never really spoke anything more complex than simple questions about her life in general. I never once noticed it during our video calls. It was only when we actually met, that I realised, her English was only enough for basic conversations. Otherwise, I had to depend on my translator app, which was quite hit and miss at times :-\

Upon getting the keys and moving into my booked apartment, it quickly became apparent that Girl1 wasn't very pleased with it.

She started persuading me, telling me the conditions of the place was dirty and terrible which was arguably true to a certain extent. Even so, I had no other place to go even if I wanted to move from this apartment as I have always planned to just stick with it. Then came Girl1's answer:"You can stay at my grandma's place, and I'll stay with you and we'll live together, there".

 :o You can imagine how pleasantly surprised I was, and I hastily agreed! :P What a chance to have even better quality time together, or so I thought. After several phone calls, off we went to her grandma's place, where I was received with open arms by her grandma. This is the view from the balcony of grandma's place (Pic 007). It was also here that I first learned it's really a normal thing in Russia to have a double set of front doors for almost any apartment on the block, courtesy of safety concerns.

After taking off my shoes and slipping into slippers, I was quickly served a vast, overwhelming array of food at the kitchen table. There were dried fruits, a kind of black tea with lemon and dates in it, chocolates, beef, salad with their own homegrown strawberry sauce and Ocpocmaq (Өчпочмак), lots and lots of Ocpocmaq among other things. There was no way I could have finished all of them and yet they told me all the food on the table was for me?!??

In order to be polite, I just ate what they offered to me by hand, every time they did. Make no mistake, the food was great, but all the offerings were already enough to fill me up till I felt my stomach was going to burst. Suffice to say, they certainly made it a point to keep their guests well fed for sure!

As we ate at the table, we did our best to communicate across our thoughts, even though grandma didn't know a word of English and Girl1 couldn't translate much either. Even my translator apps weren't much help as it wasn't exactly reliable. With much difficulty, I learnt that grandma has really had a hard life, now a widow and living alone in the apartment at the ripe age of 84,... Sad really but perhaps, this was also her choice too, to live alone.

I also came to know Grandma is a full blooded Tatar and consequently muslim too! :) Girl1 on the other hand is of mixed ancestry and she's told me repeatedly that she isn't a believer in Islam though her father is. One wonders, how this can even be possible? Perhaps the culture (or what's left of it after the USSR) has evolved to become secular.

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/872/41702882692_ce145e3f07_o.jpg)-Pic 006) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/947/26875600247_9ea275fd67_o.jpg)-Pic 007)

After being stuffed to the brim with food, Girl1 and I decided to go out again and tour around the city centre in Kazan whilst the day was still young. At this point, I've grown accustomed to the aging infrastructure around Kazan like this bus stop (Pic 008). We went down from the 6th floor and took buses and trams to visit the Kazan Kremlin, apparently a large and beautiful museum and also the "Qulsharif" Blue-domed Mosque behind it (Pic 009, Pic 010), which was certainly a magnificent building to see!

After that was a nice romantic dinner at a restaurant with her (Pic 011) and my gift flowers which she's brought with her all over the place since morning. I finally had the chance to try Borscht myself for the very first time. It was also here, that serious discussions about our future started to be had, concerning the viability of her moving to the UK, starting a life, a family etc.

Went back to grandma's place after that, and slept in the living room on a makeshift bed from a convertible sofa. What a great first day.

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/950/26875600217_a5e61f602b_o.jpg)-Pic 008) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/830/26875600097_0976fee8a2_o.jpg)-Pic 009)
(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/867/26875599987_86d7edb27a_o.jpg)-Pic 010) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/978/41026170914_8fa1f03a6b_o.jpg)-Pic 011)

I woke up to the voice of Girl1 telling me it was time to wake up and breakfast was ready. I checked the time. 6.15am!! ::) Still, one of the things I found so enviable of Tatar women, at least grandma and Girl1 anyway, was the fact that they'll never let anyone starve. I watched, delighted as my Girl1 poured me tea, spread strawberry paste on my bread, tasted it first before giving it to me (:rolleyes:) and washed up everything after we had finished. Repeat this for lunch and dinner also, for every single day I was here and I quickly became a very happy man, I mean Guest. :D

We visited the Farmers Palace soon after (Pic 012), also the headquarters for the Ministry of Agriculture (what a grand building for that!), which was quite near the Kazanka (largely frozen over at that point) river embankment.

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/967/26875599777_5a5fda5f07_o.jpg)-Pic 012)

We also toured Victory Park where we saw monuments (Pic 013), like the eternal flame (Pic 014) symbolizing the sacrifices that were made in the Great Patriotic War. Girl1 wasn't sure I would like it though she has already known of my fascination with parks. I had the chance to see the armored personnel carriers and the infamous T34 tank up close (Pic 015) as well as a Tank Destroyer! (Pic 016). All fascinating.

As we toured the park, I held my hand over her waist, and it was here that she finally told me she didn't like it  :'( ::), giving the excuse that she came from a very "conservative family". "No Mwah Mwah!" She said.

I for one remain ever dubious. I have also noticed too, ever since yesterday, the first day we met, that she had stopped wearing makeup and it would appear to remain so, until the end of my stay in Kazan. Perhaps, that there alone, was already a first sign of dis-interest? Sigh. I have no idea if this is just part of Tatar culture but she certainly seems hard to warm up for sure.

Other than Victory Park, we visited a couple of malls and souvenir shops and that was the end of the day.

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/944/41026167154_874abd2fd0_o.jpg)-Pic 013) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/825/26875599567_a94c40f22d_o.jpg)-Pic 014)
(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/970/26875599337_fc3fee0448_o.jpg)-Pic 015)
(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/865/26875599197_2dc891023c_o.jpg)-Pic 016)

We visited Bolgar the next day, roughly 200km and three hours away by car from Kazan with Girl1's grandfather (paternal side) driving us there in his own Lada (yes, these things still run on the road!). Grandma (maternal side, a widow) and Girl1's younger sister also came along with us on this trip. Five people in a Lada. How economical :rolleyes: There wasn't much to see along the way as the vast majority of Tatarstan was still covered in snow (Pic 017) though it was opposite when we arrived.

Bolgar is certainly a place rich with history, spanning across multiple cultures with UNESCO sites and yet here I was, not even the slightest aware of its existence ever, before I visited Kazan. The co-existence of Christianity and Islam was very easily noticeable here. Very rarely do you see a Mosque and a Church right next to each other, much less the same building(Pic 018 & Pic 021)!

Also saw what appeared to be an islamic monument (Pic 022). Then came the biggest, most beautiful and most magnificent engineering marvel of all, the "White Mosque" (Pic 023, Pic 024) with its beautiful interiors (Pic 019, Pic 020, Pic 025). Pic 023 especially lets you appreciate this beauty in its full glory.

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/868/27874825498_344016142a_o.jpg)-Pic 017) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/832/26875599117_cfab4bf871_o.jpg)-Pic 018)
(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/863/26875599027_4b68deab08_o.jpg)-Pic 019) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/949/26875598957_e36a5d32c4_o.jpg)-Pic 020)
(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/829/26875598777_7962bebabe_o.jpg)-Pic 021) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/825/26875598557_b3649a5bc1_o.jpg)-Pic 022)
(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/864/26875597357_e24d694a99_o.jpg)-Pic 023) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/958/26875598477_6bf18db2d4_o.jpg)-Pic 024)

By the time we came back to Kazan, it was already well past 5pm in the evening and Grandma, Girl1 and I were dropped off straight to Grandma's apartment (Pic 025). After a long delicious dinner, Grandma pulled out her big album of photos to share with me and Girl1.

It was this last night living together under one roof, that I got to know of her family, her deceased husband, her children, her now deceased boy. It was here, that things became very emotional though Grandma did a decent job of hiding it, even as Girl1 had watery eyes. As I've never had her consent to share some of the family pictures I've seen, they'll remain off this site. All the photos (including the mono and coloured) were very aged, especially the mono, where I also learnt she's been married twice and now a widow as both husbands have died. One of her sons dead, from serving in the army. One can certainly see and empathise how life has not been kind on her throughout the years.

I tried lifting the atmosphere by focusing on the grandchildren and asking her more about them and that seemed to cheer her up abit as she went on and on about her little grandchildren. In retrospect, I learnt not only much about their family but also their cultural norms, their lifestyle and...to a certain extent what happiness means for them, just listening to Grandma. Amongst other things, Grandma asked me what I felt for her granddaughter and I told her, that I really like her and that I came all the way just to see her. Grandma then wandered off, not asking anything further.

That night, Girl1 also introduced me to her mother, who looked a typical Tatar. She also asked me the same questions as Grandma did. We had a nice meaningful discussion though it was very difficult because of the language barrier, just like Grandma.

Sometimes, it seems to me as if most FSU women I've vetted and met online, just seem to come from damaged families. Girl1 in particular never knew her true biological father as her mother married another man shortly after giving birth to her. That meant she was an unwanted child, at least to her biological father.

As we shall continue to notice as we move further down to Girl2, Girl3 and Girl4 you shall see that all came from problematic families. One certainly wonders if this is the norm for women who join dating sites. Or perhaps, it is just me who keeps attracting these kind of women. I truly hope I am simply seeing things.

Then I was off to sleep, feeling anxious towards my final day in Kazan.

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I woke up early in the morning to see so much food on the table for breakfast, so much so that I don't think I can ever get used to it! Obviously I couldn't finish everything so Grandma ended up packing the leftovers and putting it all in my backpack. That was certainly unexpected, but I was very grateful.

After that, Girl1 and I decided to visit a few theatres around Kazan as we still had a bit of time in the morning before I have to catch my train in the afternoon to leave for "Moscow".

We visited the G. Kariev Theatre (Pic 027) and the Tatar State Puppet Theatre (Pics 028, 029, 030, 031, 032). All fantastic places of cultural significance.

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We also went into a shop full of Soviet collectibles, where I had the chance to try out this wartime jacket (Pic 033). (Pic 034) Photo of another church taken from the view of a tram. Kazan is so full of places of worship.

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We went back to Grandma's place for the last time, and collected my things. Before we set out for the train station for my trip back to "Moscow", Grandma wanted both of us to sit, and so we all sat down for at least a minute, before we were allowed to leave. Apparently it is the tradition to do so, especially when the journey will be long for good luck.

Once we arrived at the train station, Girl1 took me through security and accompanied me all the way to the platform. Then she disappeared off to look at the timetables.

Then all of a sudden, her younger sister popped out from nowhere! :D Holding a jar of honey and a roll of drawing in her hands. She wanted me to have them, and so I did. She too, asked me about my thoughts on her big sister, and I simply told her that I liked her for sure but I am unsure, what she wants for the future.

I could see her face blushing up and smiling as she read the words that were shown on her phone as it translated my words. Girl1 came back, and together with her sister, sent me off. Before boarding the train, we took one last picture (Pic 035) together. I wanted to hug Girl1 but she refused, due to her Tatar upbringing as she explained to me before. She kept waving at me, even as I sat there looking back at her from the window, catching glimpses of sadness in her eyes, which seemed to already sparkle with what looked like tears, even as my train started moving away from her as she stood, stationary.

Part of me was dumbfounded. Why now?!? Why didn't she express more of her feelings when I was there, next to her the whole time??" It was a pity really. Perhaps towards the end, Girl1 wasn't brave enough to move further, at the young age of 19. I do not know if she have had bad experiences, or it was because I frightened her. She was so eager to receive me before I came, but once I was there so close with her, I was shown much less intimacy.

Ultimately, I ended things officially with Girl1 after I left. It was time to cut my losses. The "slight" language barrier and her inability to share with me her true feelings and deliberate upon her future made me decide I shouldn't waste much more time with her. I wrote to her and messaged her on the phone and thanked her and her Grandma for making my stay, much warmer.

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Nizhny Novgorod
Before I left Girl1 and boarded my train originally headed for Moscow, I have already made plans to jump off the train at Arzamas, a small city in the middle of my journey. Hence, I have bought another ticket in advance to take me from Arzamas all the way to Nizhny Novgorod.

The reason for doing this, was to make Girl1 believe that I was only seeing her and only interested in her and no one else. From reading the various trip reports here and observing the lives of successful couples, I've found that most women/girls cannot truly give their all to love and commit to a man, deeply, if she knows she is not the only woman in the man's eyes. Also, the moment you establish a good connection online, is also the moment I find best to start giving the impression you're committed before the girl commits.

It was what I did, every single time. I did not want to leave anything to chance, if I could help it.

I arrived at Arzamas when it was already ~11pm and slept in this beautiful, unfamiliar train station (Pic 036) along with a group of Russians, waiting to catch the next train in the morning for Nizhny Novgorod.

The whole journey from Arzamas to Nizhny Novgorod only lasted 2 hours, a far cry from the 14 hours I endured in my journey to Kazan from Moscow. In the final minutes before I arrived at Moscow station, I saw the vast expanse of the Volga river, still completely frozen over with a couple of brave souls, playing on the ice :o. Nizhny Novgorod when I arrived, was still completely covered in 30cm thick snow, all over (Pic 037).

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Contrary to Girl1, Girl2 did not wait at the platform to receive me. Rather, Girl2 was already outside the station entrance for me. Here, gentlemen, is where I received one of the greatest SHOCK OF MY LIFE!! :-[

She was, ahem, much more different than what I had ever expected. (Pic 038) Completely different from all her photos. Only the voice was recognisable. Even so, her english skills were basically non-existent to the extent that, we were a hopeless case without the translator app.

I readily admit I was partly to blame for this. In business lingo, I didn't do enough "due diligence". I have only made phone calls and chatted extensively with her, and looked at her photos (in hindsight, they were obviously professionally photo-shopped to oblivion).  >:(

Gentlemen, if you are still reading, I don't care whatever freaking reason you have, if you do have a lass of interest, you need to VIDEO CALL i.e SKYPE!! before making the move to visit, always!

I asked her to explain to me why her English was so smooth and fluent when I was chatting with her on the phone, to which she replied, that she always had a translator friend who she always had on the phone when she was always speaking to me to help translate my words into Russian for her to understand. Then, she replied to the translator, who texted her the English words, for her to read aloud to me, all in a matter of seconds. I have no doubt she must've paid good money for both these services. There was no noticeable delay on the phone.

All very disingenuous! However, I had to hand it to her for playing her game so well. At the very least, her strong intellect that I could sense from our phone calls together, were true!

Besides that, I always found it strange from the outset that she told me she was living alone in her own apartment, at so young an age. I have long suspected her family background was very good.

As I would later find out, she was indeed from a very well-off family. However, she never got along well with her father (she found daddy over-controlling) and so she decided to move out into another flat of her parents' in Nizhny Novgorod, at the tender age of 17 when she started studying for her degree till today, where she is now working full-time as a real estate developer and about to start her own fashion line, probably with some backing from her family.

And here I was, a broke research student, making every £ stretch as much as possible at the age of 24  :'( haha

She did make my stay very comfortable though. Even before I arrived, she had already offered me her flat to stay in, and live with her for the duration of my stay in Nizhny. It was an offer I could not refuse. Oh how lucky I thought I was going to be, spending more private time with Girl2 and getting to know each other more intimately.  :rolleyes: Not.

I found out she's a cat lady :D (Pic 039). She had two cats to be precise, one white and one black. I have heard cat ladies are stereo-typically lonely. Perhaps it applies here.

Overall it was a cozy place. However, I was much less impressed with the ad-hoc electrical wiring (Pic 040) that's been done on the mains electrical supply in this Soviet-Era apartment. It's a wonder it hasn't caught fire, touchwood! Wiring like these always make me uncomfortable and would've been a serious crime where I live.

I showered and freshened up. Then I sat down and rummaged in my backpack to produce a nice big teddy bear (it was the biggest of my supply and I had always originally intended it for her :rolleyes:).

"Oh!! You are so nice!!" said the lass, as she teared up visibly, and hugged me till I could breath no more.  ;D

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Before the day was over, we decided to kill some time and have a walk through the historical Bolshaya Street (Pic 041) and have a tour around Nizhny Novgorod Kremlin where I purchased quite a few souvenirs. Just like the Kremlin in Moscow, it is basically a fortress. Inside, I was pleasantly surprised to find an assortment of old military hardware, like this "Katyusha" rocket truck (Pic 042) here. Apparently the Katyusha truck was based off an American design :D

We headed back on foot after that and she decided to cook up a vast delicious amount of food for me. Mashed potatoes, ham, cheese, friend onions, etc. Quite simple but yum :D Repeat this for the rest of my stay and I'm a very happy man :D I know she'll make a great mother.

Then it was lights out after that, watching a film in her "theatre room" (with surround sound and a decent screen) while we cuddled up together very close as it felt quite cold inside. Hmm, I was slightly suspicious that she turned off the heater, but she told me there's poor heating in this room :-\

At this point in time, I was still trying my best to forget about our morning fiasco and trying to like and love her, as a person and truth be told, she did everything she could to be a very desirable, submissive candidate for wife. :D Imagine breakfast, lunch, dinner, and place of stay, as well as the cost of living, all taken cared of, what more can one need?

Yet, here I was, still trying my best to shake off that feeling of slight disappointment that I've been duped beyond comprehension. x.x

I won't elaborate further what she wanted to do with me in bed. She kept nuzzling on my chest... Gentlemen, lets leave it at that.

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For the next day, we decided to continue where we left off and took the tram to see the vast frozen Volga River from the embankment (Pic 043).

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We also headed down the Chkalov Stairs, a very famous architectural masterpiece (Pics 044, 045, 046). It was truly a grand scene to behold. This alone, makes travelling to Nizhny Novgorod in this dark, unpredictable pseudo-winter/spring well worth the effort!

We did nothing much for the rest of the day as it was raining really bad in this "winter/spring" which just made everything much colder.

Other than that, most of the time was spent in the shopping mall.

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Today was the third day of my stay here in Nizhny Novgorod already and I was starting to feel frustrated at the prospects of staying with her for the rest of the week. By this time, I have thought myself through, and I could see there wasn't going to be a practical nor desirable future with her. Her non-existent English skills, caked up make-up and whatnot, it was simply too much for me to bear. Everytime I went for a kiss on her makeup caked-up cheek, I was left with a less than desirable taste in my lips.

I think she sensed my frustration. After much discussion, she decided perhaps I needed some excitement. She brought me to an underground go-kart track (Pic 047) and that was AWESOME! I have yet to obtain a driver's license, so it was definitely a great experience. My enjoyment was evident in my lap times which just kept improving as I went up the learning curve (Pic 048). Every step on the gas pedal was accompanied by a rush of adrenaline for sure :D

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Girl2 was a fantastic driver too and she was always close behind my kart, the whole time. We raced around like mad for what must have been 2 hours. Then we walked, her arm curled up around mine, as we toured and went past shops, for hours and hours, till the night was upon us (Pic 049), where she told me this was her favourite bridge. Can't remember the name.

Whilst waiting as she prepped our dinner, I had the chance to try this "cucumber" flavoured drink (Pic 050). Blergh, didn't like it.

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Today, was the day I was leaving Nizhny Novgorod and leaving Girl2. Last night, I told Girl2 I had to cut my visit short, because I had other "commitments" that had suddenly come up in Moscow and I will fly back to London very soon.

Obviously, it was entirely my decision not to waste further time, as well as Girl2's. My commitment was now to Girl3, for who I have decided to bring up the schedule on. You can imagine the joy in Girl3's voice, when she learnt I was going to arrive earlier than expected and stay much much longer with her  ;D  ::) I needed to end this today.

She felt sad that I was leaving already, today. She told me:"It is so soon, but I understand". Before I had the chance to have a serious talk about where we stand, she had already decided to take me with her to visit this historical architectural masterpiece, called "Rukavishnikov's Estate" as my train was only departing in the afternoon. I thought it was a fantastic proposition too.

You simply have to be there in person, to appreciate it in its full grandeur. We arrived at the entrance (Pic 051) and learnt the ceiling (Pic 052) was painted by a great Italian painter.

Girl2 was very considerate to the fact that I couldn't understand Russian, so she unbeknownst to myself, had already arranged for an English speaking guide to show me around Rukavishnikov's Estate.

We were shown the family tree of Rukavishnikov (Pic 053). Which children didn't survive, which ones joined the revolution, and went against the Tsar. Apparently they were a very rich merchant family who owned the city's first steel plant, and who have largely prospered off trade at Nizhny Novgorod, a trading centre in the past where West met East and items like tea was traded.

At the time when this whole Estate was built, it was the most expensive home in Nizhny Novgorod. All fascinating stuff.

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Some of the furniture items were simply fillers but otherwise, the Bolshevik Revolution left the whole Estate largely intact and apparently re-purposed it as an office for awhile. Pic 054 shows an iron staircase, intended for use by the servants of the house, only. Pics 055, 056 shows the typical bedroom and dressing room of the important women of the household.

Pic 058 shows a Dining room, interconnected to the conference room (Pic 057), connected directly to a Ballroom (Pics 059, 060). All very grand! :D

The weather was already starting to turn nice today, and Girl2 and I took this one last picture (Pic 061) from the embankment in front of Rukavishnikovs Estate with the Frozen Volga river as the backdrop.

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 Then we were off to Bolshaya Street again, where I managed to have a photo with this Monument to the founder of Nizhny Novgorod (Pic 063) and this interesting copper statue shoe-polisher boy (Pic 062).

After a quick lunch, Girl2 hired a taxi to accompany me all the way to the train station and the platform. Girl2 wanted me to promise I will come again but I told her I can't promise her anything to which she replied to me that it was already a very sad day for her.

I got on the train, and off I went, to Moscow and then later on...eventually to Vladimir for Girl3 (to be continued). Once I arrived in Moscow, I checked in to a cheap shared room in a hostel to re-organise myself. From here on, this would be my base, my backup place to fall back on, in case I can't find the next place of stay.

I freshened up, stowed away everything, did some laundry, ironed my shirts and restocked myself with flowers, before the next visit beckoned :D Onwards to Vladimir! One of the Cities of the Golden Ring...

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Vladimir

I remembered clearly I left Moscow around 2pm and reached Vladimir around 5pm in the evening (Pic 064). Coincidentally, there was a train also due to arrive 10 minutes before my train from Moscow to Vladimir. So I mistakenly told Girl3 I was going to arrive in Vladimir in the earlier train ;D You can imagine the shock she must've had when the earlier train left without me in sight  :-[

She later told me when the earlier train left, she ran all around the platform searching for me, and failing that, decided to got back into the train station to speak to the station master. The station master responded by telling her that she's been duped, and that I'm surely not real. How amusing :rolleyes:

So that train left, and within 10 minutes, my train arrived and I slowly disembarked, my eyes searching for Girl3 the whole time but failing to find her. I went into the train station and lo and behold, there she was, brimming with smiles all over and waving frantically at me. I went past security and gave her a big bouquet of flowers (17 roses to be exact) which I've bought in Moscow.

She instantly pulled my hand to follow her. Talk about being assertive :D I wanted to take the taxi but she insisted on taking the bus. I don't mind taking public transport, but I could have sworn the bus stop was five flights of stairs below! O.O!!! It was an exercise for sure, dragging my stuff along in the melting snow. There was no sympathy for me either >:(

We took the bus (I told her next time, I'll be using the taxi for sure. 200 rubles? Fair exchange) to my hotel which was literally just a block away from her parents' apartment. Yes, this lass has always been living with her parents at the tender age of 18, about to go into University.

There, I've booked a single room and it had quite a nice view (Pic 065) with Girl3's apartment block directly in sight 8).
The free meals here weren't too shabby either (Pic 066).

Once we've settled in, Girl3 and I took off our jackets and laid sprawn across the hotel bed, seemingly exhausted. I caressed her soft delicate hand for the first time, and I could hear a gasp. It was the softest hands I've ever encountered so far. Ah, she liked what I was doing. :D I proceeded to give her a back massage and she moaned in approval. Then all of a sudden, a phone call.

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It was her mama, apparently. She's made dinner for me as well and wanted us to go to their apartment this instance. I will come to realise that FSU women are extremely close to their mothers. No exceptions! Usually the FSU lass will receive at least a phone call a day from mama, asking how she is doing. Seriously, this happened with Girl1, Girl2 and all the subsequent ladies I met.

I can only gather that what Mendy posted earlier is largely true in Russian society. They're so close to their mama. If you can win her mama's approval, you're pretty much set to win her hand in marriage, hands down :D

Their two-room apartment was quite comfortable, though not the biggest I've lived in. That award goes to Girl2. I took this while Girl3 wasn't watching :D (though she approved much later) (Pic 067). She told me I was very lucky to have come during this time as she was currently on holiday from school.

We had a very nice dinner together, with her parents too. We discussed many things together at the table and for once, it was so pleasant as Girl3 could instantly translate whatever was being said on the fly. I was happy to find that I had a few things in common with her dad. We were both hobbyist fishermen and it wasn't long be fore we exchanged fishing tales as he tried his best to tell me stories of his catch near the dacha (summer house).

Then Girl3 and I were left to our own devices and I was "led" to Girl3's room. Ah, such feminine hands (Pic 068). I can never stop touching them. I sat next to her as we kept talking on and on about our shared interests. Philosophy, history etc. I have no doubt she'll make a great historian, debunking historical revisionism among other things, though she dreams of being a future diplomat :(. Obviously I would rather she be a housewife. I've discussed at length with her about this, and she eventually conceded to me she'll be satisfied to be employed by a private company, as she wants to follow her husband.

She says it is normal in their culture to follow the husband, citing the wives of the aristocrats of olden days as evidence. Hmm, I remain dubious. I'm sure I've heard the same story from this forum before and I am sure, Russia has changed considerably for the past century even.

By the way, she is certainly as much of a bookworm as I once were during my high school days. (Pic 072) in particular below reminds me so much of what I used to do! Look at all those fact notes posted to her "wall" in chronological order that needs remembering! It quickly became even more apparent that we shared so so much in common. :)

And that was it for the night. Girl3 wanted me to stay and sleep with her in her room. Looking at this 18 year old lass, I gracefully declined, kissed her, and hurried back to my hotel which was merely a block away though the night was definitely freezing. It was simply too tempting and I didn't want anything to happen! No sex for my trip! ;D Especially not when parents were just living in the neighbouring room.

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I woke up the next day, to the sounds of my phone ringing. It was Girl3 demanding me to be at her home as soon as I can. I checked the time. Jesus, it was 7.30am! These Russian women sure are up and about early, even when they're on holiday!! Happened with Girl1, Girl2... at least the ones I've met anyway.

(Pic 071) was taken in front of her family's apartment block.

We visited her "vocational" school which apparently is compulsory in Russia as well as her normal high school. She had to hand in her holiday homework.

We played at a children's playground (Pic 070), like children. It was only us :D. I don't think they were "in demand" at this time of the year.

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Before we knew it, the day was already fast approaching darkness. She took me around the city (Pics 073, 074) and all the way up a famous street where aristocrats used to live. Along the way, we tried looking at the moon from this coin-operated scope (075) and sat down in front of this famous Cathedral (Pic 076). "Holy Dormition Cathedral" I think it was called.

She jumped straight on my lap! Man this lass definitely knows what she wants, without hesitation :D My kind of woman.

We went straight home after that, noticeably shaking from the chilling windy weather.

We were more intimate tonight.  :-* We had such deep kisses that lasted for what felt like it would never actually end. Ah, I think I could feel she wanted so much more from me.

She pushed me down on her bed and sat directly atop my crotch. :rolleyes: Erections followed and I think she felt it perhaps too well. :rolleyes: As if she read my mind, she told me:"My dear, we will not have sex! I am not that kind of woman, I am a virgin!"

I thought, alright that's cool and I told her I felt the same. That we shared similar values as I thought sex is something precious that should be reserved for your special beloved one ;D However, she wanted to pull down my pants still, and give me a "mouth to crotch massage" and I instantly jumped away at that point. "This was going too fast", I thought.

Truth be told, her sex drive was just off the charts! The infamous Russian Woman stereotype, TM'ed  :D. Actually, I'm sure she's always been this way! Throughout our time away from each other (when I was in the hotel room even), she would text me and describe to me how much she desired me whilst she masturbated away to orgasm. Hmm... sometimes I'm doubtful I'll be able to keep up after marriage :-\ But, our minds connected so well! Tis should be but a small issue :D

She further asked me if I would like her to take medical tests to prove that she was indeed still a virgin before we marry and I was laughing to myself in my mind at this point. Is it even possible to prove it for sure? I doubt so. I've read too much about the female biology and I'm pretty sure you can't for certain.

We talked about how many we would like to have. How we would raise our hypothetical children together. All fun.

Girl3 definitely had a traditional sense of family, that's for sure. Again, my kind of woman! :D

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/968/41026265114_010d754266_o.jpg)-Pic 073) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/828/41702960582_c64ab05fdf_o.jpg)-Pic 074)
(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/968/41702961442_ec235283ed_o.jpg)-Pic 075) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/972/39936502770_d4e5000850_o.jpg)-Pic 076)

Besides an outing with Girl3, Mama and her Brother to the same Cathedral we've visited before, nothing much happened the next day.

We took pictures together in front of many of the famous landmarks of this city (Pics 077, 078, 079, 080, 081, 082).

It was a great family outing, though I realised the children were definitely closer to mama than to papa, even though they've lived together all these years (except her brother who's moved out recently to Grandma's apartment). The reason? All blamed it on alcohol. We'll just leave it at that.

I learnt her brother is a classical pianist too, who's recently gone rogue with his music. :rolleyes:

We returned home holding hands. Mama made dinner for us, and noticed I had some "love bites" on my neck. She didn't speak of it. However, even as we ate, I could feel tonight had a very different atmosphere and rightly so. Tonight was the night when we all finally had a very serious talk with Girl3's mama together.

Mama started sharing her love story with us. O.O" About how she thought her daughter really took after her as she too fell in love with a much older man, 11 years older than her because she had matured very early on and perhaps was too smart for her age to like men of similar age. She told me she fell in love with her husband (papa) at 15, and married at the age of 17 and gave birth to a son aged 18. From the tremors in her voice, I could sense she was meant  what she said. That said, she approved of us and thought we were a good match. She thought I was a good boy. Indeed, I think I am, always! :) I have my honor to protect.

We discussed Girl3's future, somewhat, and the conversation then lightened up abit as I shared my family photos with her. They were curious, of my family, my background, everything essentially. How we lived in the UK, what the weather was like in England (dull for sure XD) etc etc. Ah good times.

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/980/41702961282_967df40334_o.jpg)-Pic 077) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/905/41026263814_63cdfab64b_o.jpg)-Pic 078)
(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/864/41702961172_e8112f32ff_o.jpg)-Pic 079) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/868/41026263604_d0ff5d33ca_o.jpg)-Pic 080)
(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/960/41702960992_929886463d_o.jpg)-Pic 081) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/966/39936501900_73ff94e11f_o.jpg)-Pic 082)

These (Pics 083, 084) were panoramic shots of a very famous street very near the Cathedral. Statues present were all made of copper and just like the statue of liberty, had pretty much turned greenish blue completely except for certain spots, like the nose which are frequently tourist touched and rubbed.

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/974/41702960382_a499e1d6b6_o.jpg)-Pic 083)
(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/829/27874908818_6d2cb52802_o.jpg)-Pic 084)

I didn't know what Girl3 had planned for me on the fourth day as we've pretty much exhausted the most famous sites to visit, but I never quite imagined she would take me around the city to go window-shopping!! Wasn't something I fancied.  :-\

She took me to the largest shopping malls, dragged me along to various clothing outlets, all the while asking me to guess what she liked in the store. That was enjoyable but the fun quickly wore off as I became more accustomed to her tastes.

Thank goodness she didn't ask me to buy them! Then I would have had suspicions she was a gold-digger! Even though our month-long correspondence had shown she should be wiser than to be afflicted by materialism. We visited a few souvenir shops where I bought a couple of beer glasses to remind me of her city.

Now I was a little bit annoyed at this point, as my hands felt like they were increasingly "burning". It was like frost-bite. No it definitely felt like frost-bite! Hence I told her I didn't see the point of us going all the way around the city, window-shopping as I would rather spend the limited time that I have left in Vladimir touring memorable places, and making our time together a very special memory before I have to leave.

I didn't realise I'll had made her cry at this point as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I don't even want to think about you leaving already!" exclaimed Girl3, flustered, angry and sad.

I felt quite sorry at this point. I wiped away her tears and told her we won't think about it, but I would rather we go somewhere special, richer in history perhaps.

So we walked again, slowly, and wandered ever closer to the embankment as we took these pictures together (Pics 085, 086, 087), trying my best to cheer her up and calm her nerves down ever so slightly, telling her this was only just, "the beginning".

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/829/39936501740_0e4fd0df24_o.jpg)-Pic 085) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/866/39936501670_9fd5cfb565_o.jpg)-Pic 086)
(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/905/41032856474_beb002f99a_o.jpg)-Pic 087)

Ah, my final day of stay in Vladimir. What an emotional roller-coaster few days it's been. I think Girl3 and I truly shared a very strong connection. I've never talked to a FSU woman who possessed such a strong command of English and one who could really understand me and to some extent, read my mind so well.

If there was ever a thing like a soulmate in this world. This would probably be it, I reckon.

This time, we left via taxi just before noon for the train station, where we hugged and kissed like mad.

As I held her in my arms, gently caressing her back, tears started rolling down her cheeks and before I knew it, she was already sobbing uncontrollably, non-stop, seemingly oblivious to the curious pedestrian onlookers. I think I've never made a girl cry this hard, ever :(. Never once, in my entire life had I ever felt so bad about leaving someone behind. Yet, we knew it had to happen. She had to fulfill her obligations, as did I.

Yet, for once in my life, I didn't know a man could feel so lost. Lost in uncertainty, lost in thought, lost in feeling...

I left her some souvenirs before I left (Pic 088). She on the other hand, gave me a locket that she said, was the most precious item that she had in her possession. She wanted me to have it so that I could bring it back to her the next time we met. Ah how ingenious! My heart was touched.

Even after I've gone, she would take pictures of herself, hugging teddy to sleep. Very cute :P

 :'( And Even days after I've departed, we never ceased our correspondence, and in fact we kept talking alot, via voice messages like this one below so much so that it was obvious that she's fallen for me, quite hard. :-[

http://drive.google.com/file/d/1BrBhzdHzJlfLne-YLErfAS2D1HX7Sgt8/view

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/906/41702960132_07dc11b6ac_o.jpg)-Pic 088)

Moscow
Ah, finally I'm back in familiar Moscow! By this time, the snow had all but melted away. I finally had some downtime now! :D Man I really needed it after such a passionate and soulful time with Girl3. It took me almost three days before I felt I was ready to date again and even so, she remained unforgettable at the back of my mind.

I originally intended to stay at the backup place that I've originally booked but the bunk bed was just too uncomfortable and I found that I couldn't possibly do anything productive at all, from my bunk. Most of my fellow bunk mates were workers from nearby cities. Many Asians like this guy from Saratov (Pic 089), working the nightshift, doing the hard labour in Moscow. Even though my experience is anecdotal, I definitely noticed lots of people of the Asian-look stereotype working the lower wage jobs in Moscow (Pic 090). Most were probably from the surrounding FSU states and I am sure to these folks, Moscow is still pretty much the place to be.

Trivia: How the hell did this overpriced piece of s*** make it here?? :o (Pic 091). Shocked I was for sure

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/970/40844678425_469f0e50b2_o.jpg)-089(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/866/40844678565_596c6c5891_o.jpg)-090(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/954/41026291844_af8bc09b15_o.jpg)-091

Straightaway the next day after I've arrived back in Moscow, I moved to a much more comfortable place to stay around Arbat. Finally, I have regained some privacy! Phew. It wasn't too shabby (Pic 092) :D. Ate at the nearby Burger King (Pic 093), where I was just completely taken aback by the fact that tomato sauce is NO LONGER dispensed FREE!!! What?? Moscow? A city of such cultural sophistication? Why?? :/

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/969/41026291694_a2ba2ceab4_o.jpg)-Pic 092) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/866/40844677245_5bcc108b3f_o.jpg)-Pic 093)

It was such a very nice area to stay. Tis Beautiful Arbat (Pics 094, 095). I wasn't too impressed with the drainage systems of the main streets though. They were quite clogged up even when the snow melted and I can't seem to understand why the drain here for example drains onto the asphalt and damages it for sure (Pic 096). The red square had better storm gutters (Pic 097).

I visited the famous G.U.M mall and had their iconic icecream.

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/909/40844678955_bec7e0f03f_o.jpg)-Pic 094) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/946/40844679065_3bd032c214_o.jpg)-Pic 095)
(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/872/41026292174_2c7bf17def_o.jpg)-Pic 096) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/909/41026292304_d0847463ff_o.jpg)-Pic 097)

The rest of my downtime days were spent wandering around the Red Square. I saw Stalin's Mausoleum (Pic 098) though I couldn't get in.

There, I had the misfortune to encounter scammers (Pic 099). Their modus operandi was this. First, they would ask where you're from. Then they'll asked whether you'll like pictures with them in their fancy costumes, To which I thought, why not?

Once pictures have been taken, THEN, they'll suddenly hit you with their fees. "You need to pay us 3000 rubles, for photos, it's standard rate"

Oh man you should've seen my face turn so sour. "No. WE NEVER AGREED TO THIS!"I bellowed, already incensed. However, these folks won't let up. So I told them:"OK! I can do WITHOUT THE PHOTOS! LET'S DELETE THEM!". And I did, except for this one (Pic 099). :D

They were sorely mistaken if they think they could play me around. What audacity! As instantly as they came with all smiles, they left and gave up without delay. Seeking their next prey, no doubt.

Moscow was definitely a very lively city with lots of things to "discover", like this heater chair on the bus that ran off the engine heat that I've discovered by chance (Pic 100). I watched this "Russian Hip Hop Championship" (Pic 101) with fellow Russians in the common room when I wasn't out and about. It seems it's quite a hit with teens :D

I had myself registered (Pic 103) at the Russian State Library (Pic 102). I've always loved libraries :D Won't miss them for anything else, especially this one with such a rich history.

To any fellow adventurers venturing into Moscow, I high recommend dropping by :D It would help to know how to read a little Russian though.

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/963/41026292434_1dea85fa99_o.jpg)-Pic 098) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/830/27885525058_f8664e4e02_o.jpg)-Pic 099)
(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/946/41743954781_34bd3266d4_o.jpg)-Pic 100) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/969/27874942758_1ba903a122_o.jpg)-Pic 101)
(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/863/40844679705_aa3a3a8e17_o.jpg)-Pic 102) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/952/27874942988_a4ef7e725f_o.jpg)-Pic 103)

Finally, today was the day I met Girl4. The last girl I've had very long correspondence with before I set out planning my trip. We met right in the afternoon, on a sunny day near her university. I handed her flowers (21 roses to be exact, fresh from the Riga Flower Market) and she was pleased. She kept telling me:"Oh it's too much!!".

She asked me where I wanted to go, so I took charge. I decided for us to go the the Red Square, where we took this nice picture (Pic 104) together in front of the Statue of General Zhukov, a character I highly admire for his strategic brilliance.

However, the date was very short-lived and it lasted only till early evening as we quickly realised we didn't share similar values.

"Forgive me for asking, but how much do you make as a student?" she asked, without shame. Hahaha. "Not much, just enough to live by" I answered wryly.

"Oh", said Girl4, lost in thought, seemingly becoming uninterested in our conversation, the longer it went on. We'll just leave it at that. I've pretty much lost my interest at this point.

As a side note, I think ultimately, this is of the utmost importance when searching for a partner to live your life with. Soulmate, Chemistry etc you may call it whatever you want. To me, it is simply herd mentality.

I do not proclaim to be a "love guru" know-it-all. However, I think I do have ideas as to how strong relationships are built and this is my theory:

We all want to feel cared for, loved. We all want to be somewhere familiar, somewhere safe. Only then, can trust develop, And only with trust, can love blossom. And for that to develop, we surely indeed, need to possess and share the same values, beliefs. I.e Belonging to the same herd. And the more values you share, the stronger the relationship will last.

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/827/40844679905_5443651256_o.jpg)-Pic 104) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/982/27874943258_1c80ea51f0_o.jpg)-Pic 105)

I had a couple of other dates with various women from different backgrounds all over Moscow but none I found shared as deep a connection as Girl3. As such, I've grown to cherish her more every passing day :)

Sometimes I think Mendy was spot on, when he explained that you were more likely wasting your time in big cities like Moscow and St. Petersburg, where womens' standards and expectations were simply too much for the commoner.

To hell with their stuck up attitude and materialism! Coincidentally, little towns/cities seem to have given me the best result. Worked for me :D

Besides dating inconsequentially on and off, I spent the rest of my days in Moscow touring. Pic 105 showed a man planted on a pillar. Pic 106 was taken with the Moscow Financial Centre as a backdrop. Pic 108 shows the famous Lomonosov University as the background.

I had the chance to witness the sunset from the hilltops near the Red Square (Pics 108, 109). The Moscow skyline is simply beautiful in its own right. A city that never sleeps.

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/979/41026293074_9e5479b2b1_o.jpg)-Pic 106) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/866/41026293224_0798d63dc2_o.jpg)-Pic 107)
(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/956/41026291264_fdfebf3a3e_o.jpg)-Pic 108) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/968/27874941228_cd51fe8338_o.jpg)-Pic 109)

Pic 110 shows my final Sunset in Russia as I journeyed back to Arbat, for the last time... before I set out tomorrow.

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/826/27874940668_e81bd25955_o.jpg)-Pic 110)

The night before I left, I also had the chance to catch this (Pic 111) mesmerising street. Beautiful for sure and reminded me of London.

I woke up the next day early in the morning, to the sounds of someone knocking my door. Ah, it's the receptionist reminding me to pack up and leave by noon. And leave I did, this time, on the Aeroexpress on my final leg to Sheremetyevo Airport! (Pic 112) -Continued Below
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: jone on May 20, 2018, 01:50:04 PM
Thank you for sharing your stories with us.  I should note that pictures 111 and 112 did not appear.  Perhaps you can share them with a follow-up post.  What is the current situation with Girl 3? 
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: BillyB on May 20, 2018, 02:01:38 PM

Kyn, I can honestly say that was the best trip report I've ever read written in ONE post.

Girl #1 - I wouldn't hold it against her that she resisted your arm being put around her waist. She's living in a Muslim conservative city and may only let her "husband" put his arm around her waist.

Girl #2 - Other men been in your shoes meeting a girl that is different than they expected. If it was the only girl they were meeting, they may have felt pressure to make it work.

Girl #3 - Sounds like she'd devoted to you and physically attracted to you. If you marry her, I hope you have a lot of stamina. Don't disappoint.

Girl #4 - Living in Moscow she probably does have higher standards. Remember me saying you being a student and not making an income to support a family is a turn off for many of these girls. If you marry girl #3, although she loves you now, if you fail to financially support the family when she comes to live with you, she will be as cold as girl #4.

Some guys twice your age can't figure out scammers and gold diggers and consequently go and visit them but you seem to have found and visited four women that doesn't meet that description. Very impressive.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: kynrazor on May 20, 2018, 02:26:32 PM
(Continuation). Sorry it didn't post. Probably exceeded the limit.

Finally, I'm off! :) I noticed tiny snow crystals were forming inside my cabin window (Pic 114), more proof this plane I was flying back on was already a very old 737.

I was surprised to see this (Pic 114) "Meditation Room" as it's called whilst in Amsterdam. I didn't imagine it'll ever be possible for people of different faiths to pray together in the same room. Wow! :D

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/906/40844677805_48510893c4_o.jpg)-Pic 111) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/958/40844677705_cb0051e7b9_o.jpg)-Pic 112)
(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/905/40844677575_c393178dc2_o.jpg)-Pic 113) (http://farm1.staticflickr.com/957/40844677345_8cea1be12f_o.jpg)-Pic 114)

Frankly, I was so so tired when I came back to London, and then to Oxford to continue my work where I left off. Still, Girl3 and I kept up our communication and one day, she decided with her mama that I must start learning the RUSSIAN language! :o :D

I told her I'll try my best, and she was very pleased. I could see how committed she was, writing all those notes (Pic 115) for me to learn from :'( Ah, at times, I do not know whether to feel lucky or unfortunate.

At the very least, if my relationship with Girl3 doesn't endure and last, I can take solace in that I would've at least learnt Russian abit, and hopefully grown the wiser :)

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/832/26875799987_c8cc1fcbca_o.jpg)-Pic 115)

I did not know what to expect, When I first set out on this trip. Heck, I did not even know or understand Russian. Rather than being afraid to fail, I've always been more afraid of not trying hard enough. Otherwise, there will always be a sense of melancholy in my mind. "Did I try hard enough"? "Did I miss anything?". As such, I have absolutely no regrets whatsoever.

I did not set out to prove anything. Perhaps, if I wanted to, I would think I've proved that it is true that an FSU trip can be done, even if one is on a shoestring budget like myself.

Not all shall find their one and only, especially the first time. However, I sincerely believe if you look hard and deep enough, there will still be excellent FSU women to be had, ones who will share a strong connection. To all fellow RWD-ers who may still be searching in the FSU, don't give up easily...

Fellow RWD-ers, its been a privilege to be a part of this forum. Without the combined wealth of experience of members here, I couldn't have imagined how I would have managed and for that, I'm ever grateful. In hindsight, all the experiences I've read have truly taught me to avoid at least several potholes along the way, in my search for my woman in the FSU. Hence, this is my contribution to this fascinating RWD databank of knowledge.

Although I'm now committed, I'm under no illusions that our relationship as a young couple might still end up a failure. At the very least, if that were to happen, I'll know what to do; from talking to girls again all the way to jumping on a plane again and producing another trip report! :)

(http://farm1.staticflickr.com/828/26882278867_c3df8f1e45_o.jpg)-Pic116)

Taken whilst flying high above the clouds back to London, looking on as the sun sets, pondering. One is optimistic of the future, but one certainly wonders...what this new beginning will hold, for both Girl3 and I...

Until then Ladies and Gents  :couple:
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Sting23 on May 20, 2018, 08:56:49 PM
hey kyn, awesome trip!!  so glad you made a connection with that girl and hope it will continue.  Got your message.  Can't reply as they disabled my private messaging here so send me your e-mail or FB etc. by message and I'll connect with you there.

Start with the easy words in Russian!  Good morning, good day, how are you? I want this... The grammar is a pain but you see patterns. If she wants you to learn Russian it sounds like she is thinking towards the future!

Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 21, 2018, 02:17:31 AM
That's a great experience you had Kyn, especially girl No. 3 looks like your luck came home there. She definitely seems real into you as she wouldn't bother with wanting you to learn Russian otherwise and her affection towards you whilst there is the main thing. Do you feel the same way for her? Do you feel chemistry for her?

Anyway, good to hear you made your way around fine as it was looking like you had completely disappeared of the radar, lol.

I think you handled the process in an intelligent way stacking up a series of meet ones and moving on early from obvious no-goers and adding that time to an earlier meet up with the next prospect. Which meant if the next one turned out good as it did you had more time with her which is where you want to be.

The second girl I met was not quite as good as her photos made out so I know how the camera can lie (she had lots of small pimples on her face which could not be seen in the phood as she was stood a bit away - not real ugly but not quite as I was expecting). Anyway again I made the mistake of not Skyping beforehand, placing too much faith in photos, big mistake.

I think your journey shows that going out on single visit ones can be a pitfall as 3 of the 4 were no good. Hence why I move more towards going out there and seeing many for quick dates (well hopefully). Your experience in dating in Moscow is interesting I think and you make a good point in noting the smaller cities & towns as turning up girls with more relaxed attitudes.

Well done! :)
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Hammer2722 on May 21, 2018, 09:20:15 AM
Just read your trip report Kyn, I must say, one of the best I have read in quite a long time. Nicely done and I think you behaved like quite the gentleman. I agree with BillyB about girl 1. Don't judge her too harshly as like he said. The custom and culture there is quite different than you may be used to.

I definitely think Girl 3 is def into you and you should continue to pursue her. Now, you need to visit her as often as you can to show her you feel the same about her. Good luck and thanks for an excellent and successful TR. With lots of pics no less  :clapping:
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 21, 2018, 03:54:14 PM
I actually also think you made a smart move by not having sex with her, never thought I would hear myself say that, lol. Given that she is off to Uni soon if she really is a virgin (and I don't see any reason to doubt) if you had sex now you would sexually awake her and as she's due to go to uni she might start getting it on with the guys there due to your absence. This happens with a lot of girls and invariably leads to break ups. As it is you may have helped keep that one under control & hence more loyal to you, just buy her a chasisty belt for her to wear at all times to make sure ;D

The guys in costume in Moscow I recall seeing last year. I never gave them much attention as being a near 40 year old guy at the time it wasn't my sort of scene. Though must say the Lenin & Stalin lookalikes looked most realistic. Think I overheard someone astounded at the price of it but didn't really take much notice. Like yourself I did the trip after meeting the girl I thought was right for me so was in a great mood. I never searched/dated at all while there though as felt a bit insincere but that's just me. I kind of even felt a bit bad going after meeting my last girl but had originally booked it as a follow on in case nothing happen on my visit one in Kiev. It was great to do the touristy thing though, kremlin etc lie yourself, I much enjoyed Gorky Park but this was around May time.

I know other times guys on here sag when you have found 'the' girl stop and don't carry on searching/dating like she would somehow know and it would ruin it all. I think though it's not bad to have a range of experience as you gained out there  to learn the scope of what may be found where.

The first girl I meg was a bit orthodox religous and to be honest religious types can be a real pain. It can be difficult to tell where you stand as there morals get in the way. I think you did the right thing moving on from there. The second girl was not pretty and duped you big time so couldn't have been easy I guess your journey was not looking good before you got to girl three. I do think though the main thing to take away from girl three is that if you had not met her then the whole journey would have been a series of flops and a whole different take would have been made in it. I think it goes to show how it can be a bit touch and go and quite a lot of luck involved in who you meet. Anyway, good luck with the girl and let us know how it goes :) 
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Boethius on May 21, 2018, 04:03:53 PM
I actually also think you made a smart move by not having sex with her, never thought I would hear myself say that, lol. Given that she is off to Uni soon if she really is a virgin (and I don't see any reason to doubt) if you had sex now you would sexually awake her and as she's due to go to uni she might start getting it on with the guys there due to your absence. This happens with a lot of girls and invariably leads to break ups. As it is you may have helped keep that one under control & hence more loyal to you, just buy her a chasisty belt for her to wear at all times to make sure


Proof yet again you know NOTHING about women. 



Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: BdHvA on May 21, 2018, 04:36:50 PM
The first girl I meg was a bit orthodox religous and to be honest religious types can be a real pain. It can be difficult to tell where you stand as there morals get in the way.

I assume English is a bit of a challenge and you wanted to write, met.

Bur really if you do not understand Orthodox belief is part of a woman's DNA from the former Soviet Union than even heaven will not help the helpless.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: msmob on May 21, 2018, 06:49:13 PM
Hi Kyn

Had a long day, today and have only read part of your TR ( Kazan ) so far

Really glad you are OK and thanks for posting.  I do not know the 'end', yet ..but I said you were smart :)


Looking fwd to reading the rest with wide awake eyes

 
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Anotherkiwi on May 21, 2018, 07:26:34 PM
Wow!  Awesome doesn't even begin to cover it.  :clapping:

I love Kazan, but luckily I was there in September, rather than the middle of winter.  I also took a couple of photos of the church in your Pic 34, but I was luckier with the light than you.  8)

Both of you are very young, but I hope that you're able to get back to Girl3 very soon to continue what seems like a great start to your adventure.

Keep us posted.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 22, 2018, 12:35:31 AM
I assume English is a bit of a challenge and you wanted to write, met.

Bur really if you do not understand Orthodox belief is part of a woman's DNA from the former Soviet Union than even heaven will not help the helpless.

Some are more orthodox than others the only indicator I've found is if they wear a headscarf around their neck when they go out. Many wear crosses but are not necessarily that religious. It doesn't bother me but I think the more religious types are more likely to stand offish with affection.

I very much agree with Kyn on this, if she is not showing any clear sign then stuff her and move on. Much time can be wasted otherwise while she messes you about. Sure if it's down to her religion maybe understandable but I can't be bothered with all the trying to find out unless I'm obsessive about the girl.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Boethius on May 22, 2018, 12:38:34 AM
Wearing a scarf around your neck has zero to do with Orthodoxy.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: JayH on May 22, 2018, 12:44:30 AM
Wearing a scarf around your neck has zero to do with Orthodoxy.
It never ends !  :) 
The sheer and utter stupidity across every thread he expresses is painful. :deadhorse:
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: msmob on May 22, 2018, 02:45:28 AM
Some are more orthodox than others the only indicator I've found is if they wear a headscarf around their neck when they go out. Many wear crosses but are not necessarily that religious. It doesn't bother me but I think the more religious types are more likely to stand offish with affection.

I very much agree with Kyn on this, if she is not showing any clear sign then stuff her and move on. Much time can be wasted otherwise while she messes you about. Sure if it's down to her religion maybe understandable but I can't be bothered with all the trying to find out unless I'm obsessive about the girl.

Your cluelessness as to women in general - their behaviour - knows no limits..

1/ One of THE most passionate FSU women I ever dated was sl.religious - just took her time... another 2 I had wondered about proved v.passionate when circumstances were right

2/ As Boethius points out the scarf 'thung' is another Trench observation that is nonsense

I have now read Kyn's TR and it proves to me that WMVM would do my head in ...  ;)

Kyn - the gentlemanly way to 'finish a relationship' is face to face. 

YES, there are a lot of dysfunctional families - I think all but one of my relationships were with ladies who parents were not together

Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 22, 2018, 03:58:04 AM

just took her time...


Exactly :D


I have now read Kyn's TR and it proves to me that WMVM would do my head in ...  ;)

Kyn - the gentlemanly way to 'finish a relationship' is face to face. 


I think it WMVM would get a bit heavy going having to deal with all of those that were unsuitable, the weird and the wacky. It could no doubt get you down a bit after a string of them or even the odd one or two I think. I guess there is the upside of some interesting stuff happening, tourism opportunities and learning about the culture and getting more experience.

I thought that to LOL, it was like 'hey I like her' to Sis, etc, train departs, emotional farewell from her, then mobile phone 'bib beep,' a few seconds later, 'oh btw you're dumped!' and  ':'( :'( :'( :'(' from the girl. Kyn you're a harsh guy ;D and after her babushka packed you some food n'all, lol.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 22, 2018, 04:21:17 AM

Finally, today was the day I met Girl4. The last girl I've had very long correspondence with before I set out planning my trip. We met right in the afternoon, on a sunny day near her university. I handed her flowers (21 roses to be exact, fresh from the Riga Flower Market) and she was pleased. She kept telling me:"Oh it's too much!!".

"Forgive me for asking, but how much do you make as a student?" she asked, without shame. Hahaha. "Not much, just enough to live by" I answered wryly.

"Oh", said Girl4, lost in thought, seemingly becoming uninterested in our conversation, the longer it went on. We'll just leave it at that. I've pretty much lost my interest at this point.

I had a couple of other dates with various women from different backgrounds all over Moscow but none I found shared as deep a connection as Girl3. As such, I've grown to cherish her more every passing day :)

Sometimes I think Mendy was spot on, when he explained that you were more likely wasting your time in big cities like Moscow and St. Petersburg, where womens' standards and expectations were simply too much for the commoner.

To hell with their stuck up attitude and materialism! Coincidentally, little towns/cities seem to have given me the best result. Worked for me :D


I agree, and this is a great learning opportunity for me and no doubt some lurkers you have shown us here Kyn. These Moscow city career girls seem pretty close to the career girls we have across the UK here. It helps to show the difficulty faced when cracking that egg, if one so wishes to crack it. Myself like you show its is probably easiest to avoid it all together. I would imagine it is similar to finding a girl in an industrial dumpsk, you have to find one that is into you in as well as wanting out. In this case finding one where while you have money, etc to attract her you also need to find one that is into you. I similar to you do not have nearly the sort of money these girls would be satisfied with, the woman at home aren't and to be honest I find it a turn off. They no doubt find it extremely hard to meet guys matching their exacting criteria even before you get to chemistry.

Out of curiosity though, why did you buy girl 4, 21 roses when you only bought girl 3, 17 roses? If it were me I would have just bought a cheap small bunch if I already thought I had landed the girl I wanted, or perhaps even none at all, that's if I chose to carry on with the meet ups.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: kynrazor on May 22, 2018, 07:01:00 AM
When a woman takes all her clothes off and grinds on you, it clouds your judgement. All your brains go out the big head and down to the little head. If a woman is sexually attracted to you, don't hold it against her. Beware of the women who aren't sexually attracted to you.

Haha, duly noted Billy. I won't say it was easy but I successfully abstained from sex the whole trip as planned and left Girl3 dripping with frustration I'm sure. :-X Girl3 told me she was wet everytime I was close or when I was pinning her to her bed :rolleyes:

Kyn, I can honestly say that was the best trip report I've ever read written in ONE post.

Girl #1 - I wouldn't hold it against her that she resisted your arm being put around her waist. She's living in a Muslim conservative city and may only let her "husband" put his arm around her waist.

Girl #2 - Other men been in your shoes meeting a girl that is different than they expected. If it was the only girl they were meeting, they may have felt pressure to make it work.

Girl #3 - Sounds like she'd devoted to you and physically attracted to you. If you marry her, I hope you have a lot of stamina. Don't disappoint.

Girl #4 - Living in Moscow she probably does have higher standards. Remember me saying you being a student and not making an income to support a family is a turn off for many of these girls. If you marry girl #3, although she loves you now, if you fail to financially support the family when she comes to live with you, she will be as cold as girl #4.

Some guys twice your age can't figure out scammers and gold diggers and consequently go and visit them but you seem to have found and visited four women that doesn't meet that description. Very impressive.

Thanks for the compliments. I sorted out hundreds of profiles till I was left with these. Didn't want to waste too much time on women who didn't meet my needs, values etc in my search for my future partner if I could help it.

I wasn't too sure where Girl1 and I stood and I didn't know what to make of her slight change in attitude (i.e not wearing make-up after Day 1). Indeed, she's from a conservative family with conservative values but I doubt I was demanding too much. I simply wanted to observe clues that she's at least as serious as I was.

I am also under no illusions that one needs a decent income to support a viable future for future spouse and family. If I do end up with Girl3, I'll have to wait 2 years at most to get married and 4 years at least to have children (after she finishes her Bachelor's degree which her mother and herself are so insistent she should finish first).

Taking it from a positive perspective, that would give me a bit of time to prepare and make comfortable my nest in the lead up before our family life begins :D
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: kynrazor on May 22, 2018, 07:24:32 AM
Thank you for sharing your stories with us.  I should note that pictures 111 and 112 did not appear.  Perhaps you can share them with a follow-up post.  What is the current situation with Girl 3?

My apologies, all are now continued on a post just below yours. I probably exceeded the limits in one post.

Girl3 and I have had many serious discussions about our future life together and also with Girl3's mama. At this point in time, the plan is to get married within the next two years once I'm finished with my research work and hopefully settle down together at least 4 years from today when Girl3 finishes her degree in Moscow eventually. Then we shall start a family, and hopefully with much luck, live happily ever after. :rolleyes:

As most have noted, Girl3 is from a conservative orthodox family though her father is a non-believer but her mama prays now and then. She's told me after we get married, she'll have to go to Church at least four times per year and she thinks I should join her.

I'm not sure if religion may become a big issue. She's tried to get me to like her religion and Girl3 holds a firm belief that to love is to believe in god. Heck, she even took me to Church when I was there with her. Once inside, she proceeded to introduce me to Mary, Jesus's mother, Jesus himself, and other portraits in Church  :-[ amongst other things she did whilst inside :)

I've told her many times that I've never felt the presence of god and indeed, this was the truth. I also believed that one does not need to believe in the existence of god to be able to love but for her:"You see my darling, love IS GOD".

Then I asked her a question:"IF, I cannot feel god, but I am able to love you and I will at least try to find god, will you accept me the way I am?"

"Yes! I will guide you my darling! I know you will, one day, no matter how long it takes. Ten, Twenty Years...etc " said the lass

 :-\ Ah well, I'm not sure whether this means I and future children shall be haunted by religious texts for the rest of my life

 :ROFL: :truce:

Just read your trip report Kyn, I must say, one of the best I have read in quite a long time. Nicely done and I think you behaved like quite the gentleman. I agree with BillyB about girl 1. Don't judge her too harshly as like he said. The custom and culture there is quite different than you may be used to.

I definitely think Girl 3 is def into you and you should continue to pursue her. Now, you need to visit her as often as you can to show her you feel the same about her. Good luck and thanks for an excellent and successful TR. With lots of pics no less  :clapping:

Thanks Hammer for your kind words. Yes I've always tried to be a gentleman. 8) I did the best I could, given the circumstances so I have no regrets. A shame about Girl1 really. Perhaps I was taking things too fast.

I'm still learning. I still have ways to go as I'm not married, yet. :D Best wishes to you and spouse. I hope to see anniversary pictures soon ;D

I love Kazan, but luckily I was there in September, rather than the middle of winter.  I also took a couple of photos of the church in your Pic 34, but I was luckier with the light than you.  8)

Both of you are very young, but I hope that you're able to get back to Girl3 very soon to continue what seems like a great start to your adventure.

Keep us posted.

Thanks Kiwi. All were taken by my trusty five-year-old iPhone.  :) I'll have to concur the weather was quite harsh, ten degrees below freezing especially when I was I Kazan.

Yes indeed, we're a very young couple. I'm cautiously optimistic and hopeful for our future.  :popcorn:
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: kynrazor on May 22, 2018, 08:08:51 AM
That's a great experience you had Kyn, especially girl No. 3 looks like your luck came home there. She definitely seems real into you as she wouldn't bother with wanting you to learn Russian otherwise and her affection towards you whilst there is the main thing. Do you feel the same way for her? Do you feel chemistry for her?

Anyway, good to hear you made your way around fine as it was looking like you had completely disappeared of the radar, lol.

I think your journey shows that going out on single visit ones can be a pitfall as 3 of the 4 were no good. Hence why I move more towards going out there and seeing many for quick dates (well hopefully). Your experience in dating in Moscow is interesting I think and you make a good point in noting the smaller cities & towns as turning up girls with more relaxed attitudes.

Well done! :)

Yes it's great to be back on RWD Trenchy. How's your future plans going so far?

Yes chemistry-wise, mentality-wise, values-wise etc, I think we fit really well together so suffice to say we felt the same way.

Yes indeed, I agree. I think it's also the general consensus here. You pretty much can't go wrong with Skype and it'll be better to at least video call once before you visit.

That said, her emotions were probably much stronger than mine, as is normal for women I guess.

Ah well, I just think people who go on "Visit Ones" must have been very sure of themselves from the get go, more than I was, for sure. ;) Just remember not to mess up things between each girl, including things you've told her that you haven't told the other lass.

Might I suggest bringing along a flash-card to go through the girl's profile again before you both meet for safer measure ;D (No I'm not serious :P)

I actually also think you made a smart move by not having sex with her, never thought I would hear myself say that, lol.

It was simply my personal policy. I made it a point to keep things civil as much as possible throughout my trip. I didn't want to complicate matters especially when I was going to visit multiple women. It was the least I could do to show some respect. That at least, none were emotionally damaged beyond repair. Haha, about chastity belts, perhaps I'll talk to her and see what she thinks. :rolleyes:

I never searched/dated at all while there though as felt a bit insincere but that's just me. I kind of even felt a bit bad going after meeting my last girl but had originally booked it as a follow on in case nothing happen on my visit one in Kiev. It was great to do the touristy thing though, kremlin etc like yourself, I much enjoyed Gorky Park but this was around May time.

True. It's never easy to visit many. It's the truth. One has had to compartmentalize feelings for each girl. One has to keep track of at least some of the chatter that's gone on for each girl. One has to remember each girl's personality and quirks. One has to remember to buy presents and flowers for each girl. And for me at least, one had to go to different places for each girl, most of the time.

In hindsight, Quite a logistical operation.

The first girl I meg was a bit orthodox religous and to be honest religious types can be a real pain. It can be difficult to tell where you stand as there morals get in the way. I think you did the right thing moving on from there. The second girl was not pretty and duped you big time so couldn't have been easy I guess your journey was not looking good before you got to girl three. I do think though the main thing to take away from girl three is that if you had not met her then the whole journey would have been a series of flops and a whole different take would have been made in it. I think it goes to show how it can be a bit touch and go and quite a lot of luck involved in who you meet. Anyway, good luck with the girl and let us know how it goes :)

In regards to the issue of religion, as I've noted above, I'm not very sure how this might play out. I'm cautiously optimistic as of now. And I'm feeling lucky :P I hope we'll work something out and she won't turn our future children into devout obsessive Christians. I think we shared many of the same values "be it Christianity or not" and I hope it would suffice. Like her, I believe in marriage and a strong family.

I concur and I think there's always quite an element of luck involved. Well, just have to keep going through the dates till you find one who shares similar values and eventually a strong connection I guess :)

I think it WMVM would get a bit heavy going having to deal with all of those that were unsuitable, the weird and the wacky. It could no doubt get you down a bit after a string of them or even the odd one or two I think.

I thought that to LOL, it was like 'hey I like her' to Sis, etc, train departs, emotional farewell from her, then mobile phone 'bib beep,' a few seconds later, 'oh btw you're dumped!' and  ':'( :'( :'( :'(' from the girl. Kyn you're a harsh guy ;D and after her babushka packed you some food n'all, lol.

Nah, I doubt I was overly harsh. ;D It was my second time in Russia in unfamiliar lands with unfamiliar people without the knowledge of the Russian language. One doesn't want to wonder what might happen if I get abandoned by girl after knowing it's over.

If this was in the UK, it would have been very different for sure :D

Out of curiosity though, why did you buy girl 4, 21 roses when you only bought girl 3, 17 roses? If it were me I would have just bought a cheap small bunch if I already thought I had landed the girl I wanted, or perhaps even none at all, that's if I chose to carry on with the meet ups.

21 roses because Girl4 was already 22. 17 roses because Girl3 was already 18 this year. Heard it wouldn't be nice to give even numbers. :rolleyes:

I didn't save any expense on the roses as I thought it best to give all women a happy enjoyable time, as much as I could :D
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: kynrazor on May 22, 2018, 08:42:57 AM
Hi Kyn

Had a long day, today and have only read part of your TR ( Kazan ) so far

Really glad you are OK and thanks for posting.  I do not know the 'end', yet ..but I said you were smart :)

Looking fwd to reading the rest with wide awake eyes
Thanks msmob. Appreciate your kind words. :) It's good to be back and about on RWD.

1/ One of THE most passionate FSU women I ever dated was sl.religious - just took her time... another 2 I had wondered about proved v.passionate when circumstances were right
Haha, shy in public but liberally passionate in bed ;D I think it holds true for most Russian women and is the common stereotype for Russian women for good reason :rolleyes: I certainly hope I'll be able to keep up in the future.

And perhaps more so, for religious women as they've been saving their sexual energy for their one and only, :D :-[

YES, there are a lot of dysfunctional families - I think all but one of my relationships were with ladies who parents were not together
Indeed, I really wonder why. I've heard such family dis-integration was already happening even before the collapse of the Soviet Union.

I have now read Kyn's TR and it proves to me that WMVM would do my head in ...  ;)

Kyn - the gentlemanly way to 'finish a relationship' is face to face. 
I think it's true msmob and I agree it's not easy to go on a WMVM.

I had to compartmentalize feelings for each lass.

I had to remember each girl's personality quirks and the notable conversations that we've had amongst one another.

I had to remember to buy presents and flowers for each girl.

I had to go to different places for each girl.

And most of all, I had to make sure not to be found out :-X or it'll be utter disaster! :trainwreck: :rolleyes: In hindsight, it was quite a logistical nightmare, which took much careful deliberation.

Ah msmob, I've always tried my best to be a gentleman, as much as I can :), given the circumstances. I was in Russia in unfamiliar lands, with unfamiliar people, without any ability to converse in Russian. I don't want to imagine what might happen if I get abandoned by girl made spiteful after knowing it's over. I did not want leave it to chance, at least for this trip :-[

That said, I learnt a great deal from this one trip alone and I'm happy I went for it :luv:
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Nightwish on May 22, 2018, 09:28:42 AM
Really a great TR Kyn, and a lot of interesting sidenotes to it all, and best of all you show this is all possible with the right mindset.

I am impressed with all the logistics of it all, and to do this in a country that lacks so much ability to communicate in English, only that is quite the accomplishment.

I really cheer for you and this no:3, a real cute one. When are the plans to go back to just meet her?
I remember my own travels, they always ended with me starting the plan to go back  - on the plane back home  :D

I agree with what a few said here about the first girl, that was the result of a cultural and religious difference more then anything judging by your description.

I experienced something similar on one of my first trips where I met a girl in Sumy, while I was there she was quite distant, very closed of, but very sweet and nice over all, everything stopped with a kiss on the cheeks for 4 days.
So when I got home and more or less discarded her because I didn't feel she was in to me, then she showed all her feelings, and she missed me so much, how she wanted to spend her life with me. I was completely stumped and when I asked her and sort of confronted her about what I had felt while being there, she just said, this was how she was taught to behave, how a lady (good girl) behaves. She didn't want to lead me on without seeing I was really serious. It was mostly cultural with her, so I can imagine that your girls surrounding religious upbringing also have a big impact.
I chalked that down in my - mistakes book - and learned from it. And it seems, so have you :)

All in all I applaud your report, refreshing and interesting  :applause:
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 22, 2018, 10:45:27 AM
Yes it's great to be back on RWD Trenchy. How's your future plans going so far?

Yes chemistry-wise, mentality-wise, values-wise etc, I think we fit really well together so suffice to say we felt the same way.

Ah well, I just think people who go on "Visit Ones" must have been very sure of themselves from the get go, more than I was, for sure. ;) Just remember not to mess up things between each girl, including things you've told her that you haven't told the other lass.

True. It's never easy to visit many. It's the truth. One has had to compartmentalize feelings for each girl. One has to keep track of at least some of the chatter that's gone on for each girl. One has to remember each girl's personality and quirks. One has to remember to buy presents and flowers for each girl. And for me at least, one had to go to different places for each girl, most of the time.

In hindsight, Quite a logistical operation.

In regards to the issue of religion, as I've noted above, I'm not very sure how this might play out. I'm cautiously optimistic as of now. And I'm feeling lucky :P I hope we'll work something out and she won't turn our future children into devout obsessive Christians. I think we shared many of the same values "be it Christianity or not" and I hope it would suffice. Like her, I believe in marriage and a strong family.

I concur and I think there's always quite an element of luck involved. Well, just have to keep going through the dates till you find one who shares similar values and eventually a strong connection I guess :)

Nah, I doubt I was overly harsh. ;D It was my second time in Russia in unfamiliar lands with unfamiliar people without the knowledge of the Russian language. One doesn't want to wonder what might happen if I get abandoned by girl after knowing it's over.

If this was in the UK, it would have been very different for sure :D

21 roses because Girl4 was already 22. 17 roses because Girl3 was already 18 this year. Heard it wouldn't be nice to give even numbers. :rolleyes:

I didn't save any expense on the roses as I thought it best to give all women a happy enjoyable time, as much as I could :D

Lol, so you did it like that to avoid her abandoning you to find your on way on your journey :ROFL:

Yeah, I probably wouldn't have told her there in person either as I think it would just cause bad feeling and she probably would have abandoned you. Even I would not be socially unskilled enough to break it to her there & then having spent a few days together. To my mind in person is more for people who have been in a LTR or just a one day/hour date. If its a few days and they've shared their life wife you its a bit awkward unless there is no other way I think. I myself would probably give it a bit of time, a few messages, a bit of time to slide then do it. If it was just a meet up or meet one but you wanted to end it on the first day then that's fine I think, but that's just me.

I think it actually worked well for you doing different cities as at least then it kept you from bumping into the other girl, her family or fear off so it gave you more space to relax with each girl in, and of course means you won't bump into the others when you revisit girl 3. The logistics though I know can be a pain with multiple locations as although stuff like the internet make it easier it still takes quite a lot of time to plan and co-ordinate to make sure no goof ups are made.

The religion thing with girl 3, well when you said her father in not religious and her mother just a little it sounded like they were not too religious overall, then you said about the girl and it looks like she is more so than both, lol. I'm guessing this may be a result of the greater attraction to religion among the young compared with Soviet times. To me its usually strange that a child is more so religious than her parents as here as you know in the UK it is normally the same or less religious though no doubt exceptions apply. I myself am not at all religious and I think I would just tell a woman that 'Ok for you to go ahead and do it, I will go to church with you whenever you wish (hopefully not too often) and be there for you, but I have no interest in taking up religion myself' For me that would be the most honest way about it as I would not wish her to think I have any notion of taking it up. With a bit of lucky though hopefully she will relax about the difference and not tense up. I often find if someone mentions it like she did its normally a big deal for them as their world revolves around it and the fear is she may become difficult to ease up on it.

The idea with the roses relating them to the girls age is a good touch you made ;D and I think no doubt played well. I kind of find though whatever the rose(s) its still whether the girl is into you that counts at the end of the day. Anyway, well done with girl 3 :)



Ah, well yes for me its Lviv in early June so just over a couple of weeks away, I am flying by the seat of my pants on this one (well hopefully not literally ;D ) While I agree that Skype is essential for visit ones, here I am just doing meet many, well hopefully many and not the few! I am going to maintain strict discipline and not message any women till I am there. I will have about 10 full days to meet them in so I will meet up in a nice local cafe and see if there is any chemistry with those who I meet. Lviv seems to be a nice place so if this strategy falls flat then at least I'll have a nice place to enjoy over there. I've booked a nice apartment in town quite cosy looking so should help avoid feeling too drab at all with a bit of luck. So will see how it goes, if it does not go well then I will reassess the strategy and try something else, I am quite hopeful though that something might come of it, will trip report soon :) 
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: jone on May 22, 2018, 12:44:07 PM
I wouldn't worry too much about Moby telling you that you need to terminate a relationship face-to-face.  By your own account you behaved as a gentleman.  And, forgoing intimate relations, your 'relationship' consists of one visit.  Not only is it not required that you present yourself to tell the woman, who you haven't been intimate with, that you have only seen once and for a brief visit, to tell her you that you do not wish to continue.  It is also impractical.

The best thing to do, in such circumstances, is not to make a big thing about it and to let the woman know promptly.  That is exactly what you did. 

Moby thinks he is god's gift to women.  But his history belies that thought.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Boethius on May 22, 2018, 02:04:19 PM
I agree with moby, and it's not because of his views on women.  You slept in her family's apartment for four days.  She ensured you were well cared for - fed, saw the sites.  She introduced you to her family.  I think that warrants at least a skype call, or something more personal than a text message.  Plus, that should have been sent not immediately, but after a few days or even weeks later.  It would have spared her feelings.  I view the way you approached this as rather selfish and self serving.  You didn't think of her feelings.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: BillyB on May 22, 2018, 03:25:18 PM
You didn't think of her feelings.

Many FSU women drop men like a hot potato. Men come here and complain those women are inconsiderate. Actually those women do care about the men's feelings and are doing them a favor. The faster Kyn drops the girls he visited, the faster and easier they will be able to move on to another guy. If he gets on Skype and she begs him for a second chance or tries to get him to maintain contact just as a friend, she'll be on the hook longer thinking she's got a chance with him.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: kynrazor on May 22, 2018, 03:53:46 PM
I agree with moby, and it's not because of his views on women.  You slept in her family's apartment for four days.  She ensured you were well cared for - fed, saw the sites.  She introduced you to her family.  I think that warrants at least a skype call, or something more personal than a text message.  Plus, that should have been sent not immediately, but after a few days or even weeks later.  It would have spared her feelings.  I view the way you approached this as rather selfish and self serving.  You didn't think of her feelings.

Ah cut me some slack Boe, perhaps with hindsight I could've done more. I thanked her and Grandma and gifted them with souvenirs from home.

Hmm, do you think Girl1 and I stood any chance at all? :-\ She couldn't or didn't want to give answers and I was left hanging there, not knowing where this was all going. If she had feelings, I needed her to have told me :-[
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Boethius on May 22, 2018, 04:02:47 PM
I'm just saying you handled it poorly.  Had you not been in her grandmother's home, had they not taken care of you and opened their home, and their family history to you, then your actions would have been acceptable.   

I think four days is a bit soon to expect a young girl to give you indications of her feelings.  She probably didn't know what her feelings were.  I just think what you did was very unfeeling.  In your shoes, I would send her an apology about how you told her.  There is nothing wrong in deciding she's not the one for you, for whatever reason.  But you could have done it in a far more sensitive manner.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: jone on May 22, 2018, 04:38:45 PM
Ahh, you traveled 1500 miles for a blind date with a woman.  For whatever reason, cultural mores or lack of interest, she was not receptive, according to our OP (woman one).  To kill the relationship does not mean that you remain friends.  If you wish, you can add very nice things in telling her that she is not the one for you.  You do it as gently as possible.  But you do it.  You don't leave her hanging, expecting a call or whatever.   That is not self-serving.  You don't leave someone on the hook, tailing it off.  That is self-serving. 

We, as men, are traveling around the world to date women in the FSU.  It is more than a few meals and a roof over our heads, we are putting into these trips our financial resources and our time.  The outlay is much greater than that of the women who only have to present themselves. 

Dating in the present world is difficult at best.  Dating around the world and trying to ascertain the heart of a woman you just met is even more difficult.  Skype.  Viber.  Any of these communication devices are only facsimiles of time spent together.  And a man and a woman know the chemistry, almost immediately, upon meeting. 

I think our OP did the best he could do in his circumstances.  But, I will say, that no matter who I stayed with when I traveled, I would always send a thank-you note or gift, recognizing their efforts.

Now, I need to say something to the OP about #3.  She has a lot of temptation in front of her.  She's only 18 and is a pretty gal.  When she goes away to college she will not have her parents to answer to.  Keep the relationship alive, to be the best of your ability, but don't be surprised if she takes a fork in the road. Neither you, nor she, are ready to be married yet.  If she remains steadfast, then you have a good woman.  But at 18, I know few women who went to college that were ready to be in a relationship that would last a lifetime.  (And here I should say especially a gal who is as sexually charged as she seems to be.)

I have to agree with Nightwish.  While you didn't get the vibe you were looking for from #1, I believe that she was probably the most ready to start a life with a man.  Just sayin.



Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Anotherkiwi on May 22, 2018, 06:19:20 PM
Yeah, I probably wouldn't have told her there in person either as I think it would just cause bad feeling and she probably would have abandoned you. Even I would not be socially unskilled enough to break it to her there & then having spent a few days together. To my mind in person is more for people who have been in a LTR or just a one day/hour date. If its a few days and they've shared their life wife you its a bit awkward unless there is no other way I think. I myself would probably give it a bit of time, a few messages, a bit of time to slide then do it. If it was just a meet up or meet one but you wanted to end it on the first day then that's fine I think, but that's just me.

Yep, that's just you!  Everyone does things their own way - some may appear better than others but it's THEIR choice.  I dumped the woman I went to see on my second trip after just a few days of what we had both prepared to be a month together, because there were just too many incompatibilities (NOT red flags).  I think that she was actually relieved, to be fair, because I was getting plenty of indications that she wasn't the happiest bunny in the hutch, either.  However, I did it gently, and she didn't attack me (or break into floods of tears) so I think I got it about right.

When I got home I sent her a long email explaining how much I had enjoyed her company, and how much I had learnt by being with her (all true), but that it was very clear that we didn't have enough in common to commit to a life together.  I would never, EVER end a relationship, even one that short, by anything other than a personal meeting - but maybe that's just me and the way I was brought up.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 22, 2018, 06:35:52 PM
Yeah girl 3 did look a bit of the randy type :D

Muslimy type girls can come acroas as a bit more of the mundane type but I think they are perhaps more directly family adjusted, in general.

I wouldn't leave a girl hanging tailing it off but sending her a message every so often over the following hours or days before cooling it off is probably what I would have done. It might have even been prudent to try to keep girl open to a reopen of communication BillyB has suggested in the past with FSW. You could just say to her that you feel it's a relationship that either will or won't materialise over time or something of that nature. That may appeal to her more conservative nature and keeps her as an option in future. One thing I am learning along the way is that time input on the ground is something to capitalise on. Later on for example you may feel different about a girl or realise that you missed something that indicated a girl could he been a good match. Just my thoughts  on it though.

I think though  take the situation with girl 3 as the very good news it appears to be at the moment and run with that :)
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: msmob on May 22, 2018, 07:34:08 PM
I wouldn't worry too much about Moby telling you that you need to terminate a relationship face-to-face. 


Proof, once more, of your questionable moral compass.

By your own account you behaved as a gentleman.  And, forgoing intimate relations, your 'relationship' consists of one visit.  Not only is it not required that you present yourself to tell the woman, who you haven't been intimate with, that you have only seen once and for a brief visit, to tell her you that you do not wish to continue.  It is also impractical.

Kyn, could easily have told the lass - before he left. Quite practical.

The best thing to do, in such circumstances, is not to make a big thing about it and to let the woman know promptly.  That is exactly what you did. 

Cowards's way

Moby thinks he is god's gift to women.  But his history belies that thought.

Indeed, I have done some daft things. Hence my advice how to behave better. 
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: BillyB on May 22, 2018, 09:50:47 PM
I am also under no illusions that one needs a decent income to support a viable future for future spouse and family. If I do end up with Girl3, I'll have to wait 2 years at most to get married and 4 years at least to have children (after she finishes her Bachelor's degree which her mother and herself are so insistent she should finish first).


Keep being honest with girl3 about your life's game plan and how she'll fit in. The wait to bring her over there is going to test you both. Time and distance can push people apart. visit her as much as you can. She probably won't ask you for anything but if you can spare $50 or $100 a month, send her some so she can buy some nice things for herself. Sending her some lets you know you care about her and that you value her. The little that you'd send is still cheaper than taking a girl out on 4 dates a month at home.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 22, 2018, 10:59:36 PM
She probably won't ask you for anything but if you can spare $50 or $100 a month, send her some so she can buy some nice things for herself. Sending her some lets you know you care about her and that you value her. The little that you'd send is still cheaper than taking a girl out on 4 dates a month at home.

This I actually disagree with I don't see the point if giving money to her if he is not actually with her day to day as a monthly stipend - For what? Him having the honour of dating her for a few days. I know others have said if girl managed fine before she will manage fine without guy sending money. I think it could set up the danger of Kyn being seen as easy to play or become a bit of a joke. It could influence her in a bad way.

The last girl I met told me about her friend getting £200 from her English guy she was with. No way was I going to follow suit, last girl had gotten more than enough of me as it was. She never asked me specifically for a monthly payment but by stating such about her friend the inference was there. She showed me photo of her friend and apparent UK guy, the story probably true, but if I'm not there enjoying a relationship with a girl I see no reason to afford a way of life for her of my back is the way I see it.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: msmob on May 23, 2018, 12:32:06 AM
This I actually disagree with I don't see the point if giving money to her if he is not actually with her day to day as a monthly stipend - For what? Him having the honour of dating her for a few days. ..... I'm not there enjoying a relationship with a girl I see no reason to afford a way of life for her of my back is the way I see it.

Poor Trench,

showing his colours, again

Kyn is a student and hardly a big earner, yet..  Lot's of steady relationships during Uni  years break up and even re-start after a time.

Billy's advice is more applicable to a guy with a regular income. Sending some money to an intended life partner is hardly daft...

Proof - once again - as to why you will not succeed in this endeavour 



Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 23, 2018, 05:45:17 AM
Billy's advice is more applicable to a guy with a regular income. Sending some money to an intended life partner is hardly daft...

Proof - once again - as to why you will not succeed in this endeavour

I thought they were all wealthy enough to not to need money sent, lol.

So girl is going to break up with me or Kyn on the basis that no money was sent even if not asked for! If she's into guy surely that will not be a factor. Fine to send money to a girl as a sporadic one off here or there and say buy yourself a nice dress perhaps but I've heard regularly sending a girl money can backfire over time. Cases have cropped up here where girl actually ends up resentful of guy and/or ends up with bad ways, expecting it then more rather than cherishing it as a gift it was intended to be.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: msmob on May 23, 2018, 10:06:18 AM


So girl is going to break up with me or Kyn on the basis that no money was sent even if not asked for!

Are you are being 'witty (sic) or just plain obtuse?

BillyB and I refer to a lady  to which you wish to commit.

You haven't got to that stage..You wouldn't understand.



Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 23, 2018, 10:40:19 AM
Are you are being 'witty (sic) or just plain obtuse?

BillyB and I refer to a lady  to which you wish to commit.

You haven't got to that stage..You wouldn't understand.

I understand he may wish to support her to some extent in terms of getting a mutual reciprocal relationship and feeling of supporting each other. I am just saying many guys get to that point, some it no doubt works out for, others it may actually do great harm to the relationship where a women instead of feeling a mutual relationship just feels the guy is easily had, weak & naive - it happens unfortunately.

I was pretty much at that stage with the girl I was with but a series of issues undermined any possibility of me considering sending her a monthly allowance.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Anotherkiwi on May 23, 2018, 06:17:03 PM
I feel the influence of Henry II getting stronger every day ...  :cluebat:
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 24, 2018, 07:46:59 AM

Girl3 and I have had many serious discussions about our future life together and also with Girl3's mama. At this point in time, the plan is to get married within the next two years once I'm finished with my research work and hopefully settle down together at least 4 years from today when Girl3 finishes her degree in Moscow eventually. Then we shall start a family, and hopefully with much luck, live happily ever after. :rolleyes:

I've told her many times that I've never felt the presence of god and indeed, this was the truth. I also believed that one does not need to believe in the existence of god to be able to love but for her:"You see my darling, love IS GOD".


Well Kyn, not meaning to pick apart matters, I think it seems like most women in the FSU dating scene seem to come with at least one caveat, pitfall, call it what you will. Here there is the time issue, as opposed to a woman the other side/towards the end of Uni that would be all ready to go. Admittedly its probably best not to get married overnight and a bit of time to build the relationship is not bad I guess to see how you both feel over time. Caveat here of course is that it will have to go the distance on a long distance relationship, which if it goes south a fair amount of time will be lost. Though at least you've got time on your side at the moment to play with. Sounds like you're going to have to get all in with this one for a while though and see how you both feel.

Th other one of course is that she seems heavily religious, if its a case that you can exist in relationship without feeling this too oppressive and over the top then it fine, otherwise it may take its toll after a while is my thoughts. Either way I guess you've got plenty of time to find out at least :) 
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 24, 2018, 08:15:18 AM

As I was withdrawing cash in the airport, several men of mid-age appearance, approached me and started speaking in Russian. That, was where my first trouble began. I told them I could understand English but not Russian and one quickly started chatting away in English as I slowly realised, they were all taxi cabs trying to vie for a deal with me.



The reason for doing this, was to make Girl1 believe that I was only seeing her and only interested in her and no one else. From reading the various trip reports here and observing the lives of successful couples, I've found that most women/girls cannot truly give their all to love and commit to a man, deeply, if she knows she is not the only woman in the man's eyes. Also, the moment you establish a good connection online, is also the moment I find best to start giving the impression you're committed before the girl commits.

It was what I did, every single time. I did not want to leave anything to chance, if I could help it.


All very disingenuous! However, I had to hand it to her for playing her game so well. At the very least, her strong intellect that I could sense from our phone calls together, were true!

Yet, here I was, still trying my best to shake off that feeling of slight disappointment that I've been duped beyond comprehension.


I always find the taxi guys in an airport a real pain, the 'unofficial taxi' ones more so. I usually ignore them and wave them away and either find alternatives or if I have none negotiate when I'm ready. When in Moscow last year for the first time I went Aeroexpress both ways, 500 roubles each way if I recall correct. Ended up getting a taxi to my apartment (had an 24/7 reception to this one) which was about half a mile walk from Red Square as I was not familiar with how the Metro system operated or where anything was. Least to say the taxi was a bit on the high side even after negotiating down one of the 'unofficial taxi drivers', the price the official taxi drivers were quoting and would not budge from was even worse. In Odessa also I've had the official taxi drivers try it on with ridiculously high prices they would not budge from. Kiev was different there it was the unofficial taxi drivers trying it on with over the top prices.


Think the comparison of who is being disingenuous funny here, lol ;D

Nah, I think girl 2 was not much of a looker also, sounds like a pretty bad predicament to end up in :( even though you manage to shorten it, I feel for you here.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: myrddin on May 24, 2018, 08:18:35 AM

As most have noted, Girl3 is from a conservative orthodox family though her father is a non-believer but her mama prays now and then. She's told me after we get married, she'll have to go to Church at least four times per year and she thinks I should join her.

I'm not sure if religion may become a big issue. She's tried to get me to like her religion and Girl3 holds a firm belief that to love is to believe in god. Heck, she even took me to Church when I was there with her. Once inside, she proceeded to introduce me to Mary, Jesus's mother, Jesus himself, and other portraits in Church  amongst other things she did whilst inside

I've told her many times that I've never felt the presence of god and indeed, this was the truth. I also believed that one does not need to believe in the existence of god to be able to love but for her:"You see my darling, love IS GOD".

Then I asked her a question:"IF, I cannot feel god, but I am able to love you and I will at least try to find god, will you accept me the way I am?"

"Yes! I will guide you my darling! I know you will, one day, no matter how long it takes. Ten, Twenty Years...etc " said the lass

 Ah well, I'm not sure whether this means I and future children shall be haunted by religious texts for the rest of my life




I'm still learning. I still have ways to go as I'm not married, yet.
Yes indeed, we're a very young couple. I'm cautiously optimistic and hopeful for our future.

Hey, kynrazor

Thanks for the TR!  You strike me as a reflective type of guy, so there's a kind of kynship, so to speak  :P.  You also sound like a serious guy capable of both taking advice and being honest with yourself, which is great. Prerequsiite, even.

I do have to say that I think many people, especially in the West, try to downplay religious issues in relationships.  I think that's a mistake because there are fundamental values in question. 

It sounds like she is a much more serious believer than you, if you are at all.  This will be something you need to deal with.  How you do so is between you and your lady, just don't let it sit on a back burner until something dramatic happens.  Even Marge Simpson said "Don't make me choose between my man and my god!"


My wife and I are not religious, but certain Orthodox traditions (other than actually going to church  ;) ) are a part of her history and her culture, and now a part of our family.

Best of luck!
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: ML on May 24, 2018, 09:13:42 AM
Still, Girl3 and I kept up our communication and one day, she decided with her mama that I must start learning the RUSSIAN language! :o :D

I told her I'll try my best, and she was very pleased.


This would be a very foolish thing to do.

Your priorities should be:

1) Finish PhD
2) Get beginning job as Assistant Professor (or whatever the title in different countries).
3) Research, and Publish, publish, publish to get tenured and promotion to Associate Professor.
4) Research, and Publish, publish, publish to get promotion to Full Professor.
5) This will take you 12-15 years down the road.
6) Then, if you want to forego all merit raises for the rest of your career and only receive cost of living raises (if any), you can cut back on your research and publication efforts and spend time learning a foreign language.

Even if you are not pursuing a PhD and a teaching career, the same advice holds; just change the duties and promotion path around to correspond with the job category.

The above assumes you and your gal will be living in an English speaking country.

Of course if you plan to live full time forever in another country; then yes, learn the language of that country.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: msmob on May 24, 2018, 09:22:03 AM
This would be a very foolish thing to do.

Your priorities should be:

1) Finish PhD ....

Our Kyn is a clever chap .... I'm sure he can fit it in and it might be useful on his CV
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: ML on May 24, 2018, 09:25:23 AM
I actually also think you made a smart move by not having sex with her, never thought I would hear myself say that, lol. Given that she is off to Uni soon if she really is a virgin (and I don't see any reason to doubt) if you had sex now you would sexually awake her and as she's due to go to uni she might start getting it on with the guys there due to your absence. This happens with a lot of girls and invariably leads to break ups. As it is you may have helped keep that one under control & hence more loyal to you.

I think you missed the part where this gal regularly gives herself orgasms at age 18.
She is fully awake sexually and is actually probably in the top 10-20% of women with regard to interest in sex.
Even today, many girls and women do not give themselves orgasms and many have never even had one such.
Many teenage girls simply have not felt the urge to provide themselves with an orgasm, even as they have romantic thoughts of princes on white horses, etc.

I am not quite sure regarding the concept of what providing orgasms to ones self does for women with respect to lessening the desire to have sex with someone or increasing the desire to have sex with someone.  I suspect the latter.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: BillyB on May 24, 2018, 09:30:17 AM

Agree with ML, education and establishing financial security to support a family should come before learning a new language. A guy can only do so many things at a time. Certain things should be accomplish before others.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Nightwish on May 24, 2018, 09:34:00 AM
This would be a very foolish thing to do.

Your priorities should be:

1) Finish PhD
2) Get beginning job as Assistant Professor (or whatever the title in different countries).
3) Research, and Publish, publish, publish to get tenured and promotion to Associate Professor.
4) Research, and Publish, publish, publish to get promotion to Full Professor.
5) This will take you 12-15 years down the road.
6) Then, if you want to forego all merit raises for the rest of your career and only receive cost of living raises (if any), you can cut back on your research and publication efforts and spend time learning a foreign language.

Even if you are not pursuing a PhD and a teaching career, the same advice holds; just change the duties and promotion path around to correspond with the job category.

The above assumes you and your gal will be living in an English speaking country.

Of course if you plan to live full time forever in another country; then yes, learn the language of that country.

Everything above is nonsense. Pure and utter nonsense.

Just because you, ML, can't learn a second language doesn't mean everyone else is incapable.

It is also both a good way to keep the brain on it's toes and a very nice gesture to the woman in question that you value and honor her culture/language.

It's been proven in many studies that learning a language becomes harder the older you become, that is our brain wiring that is very susceptible to learning the younger you are, especially languages. Of course it would be even more easy before adolescent but you "still have it" as you grow older, it just becomes that much harder with the years go by.

I find it extremely hard to learn Russian, have no idea why, but I try, for my lady.. even though she speaks "perfect" English doesn't mean all her friends and family do the same. And I would value being able to communicate with them as well on equal terms.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: ML on May 24, 2018, 09:38:27 AM
Our Kyn is a clever chap .... I'm sure he can fit it in an it might be useful on your CV

It has nothing to do with being a clever chap.

If an academician spends takes ANY time away from research and publication, he/she will achieve much less in terms of promotions, MONEY, and jobs at prestigious positions/universities than if they stick to the research and publications.

So yes, any of us (clever or less clever) can spend time learning something which has nothing to do with our career path . . . if we understand and are willing to accept the lower achievement of our career.

Now of course, it is certainly true that learning a foreign language (or several) can be useful to those who NEED such in their career path.

To belabor the point:

Two persons apply for academic position or research grant not requiring any foreign language skills:

First person has lengthy list of top publications.
Second person has half the list of top publications, but has one or more foreign language skills.

First person will get the job or research grant every time.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: ML on May 24, 2018, 09:44:16 AM
Everything above is nonsense. Pure and utter nonsense.

Just because you, ML, can't learn a second language doesn't mean everyone else is incapable.


I am conversant in 3 non-English foreign languages.
I did 'brighten up' and realize I had wasted time on those 3 languages, so that by the time I started to travel to FSU I didn't waste more time.

The time I wasted on the 3 foreign languages could have been used to further enhance my earnings and advancement of my actual career.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: BillyB on May 24, 2018, 09:46:59 AM
I find it extremely hard to learn Russian, have no idea why, but I try, for my lady..

You have a job and financial security. Kyn doesn't have that yet. First he needs to establish financial security to bring his woman over. Learning a new language now isn't going to help speed that process up.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Sting23 on May 24, 2018, 11:08:39 AM

I find it extremely hard to learn Russian, have no idea why, but I try, for my lady.. even though she speaks "perfect" English doesn't mean all her friends and family do the same. And I would value being able to communicate with them as well on equal terms.

hey Nightwish, Swedish is your first language right?  I noticed the Scandinavians learn English the best out of the Europeans.  Met some Norwegians, Finnish people traveling and they were pretty much fully fluent.  You write very well as does another Swede on here.


I started learning Russian just a few years ago from zero.  The grammar is hard but once you crack the alphabet and sounds you can get by. 

Is it the speaking or grammar that's hard for you?

I'd say I am basic conversant now.  Can talk about simple things and live in a Russian only environment.  But most of my Russian friends speak English better than I do Russian.

Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: DaveNY on May 24, 2018, 11:17:10 AM
It has nothing to do with being a clever chap.

If an academician spends takes ANY time away from research and publication, he/she will achieve much less in terms of promotions, MONEY, and jobs at prestigious positions/universities than if they stick to the research and publications.

So yes, any of us (clever or less clever) can spend time learning something which has nothing to do with our career path . . . if we understand and are willing to accept the lower achievement of our career.

Now of course, it is certainly true that learning a foreign language (or several) can be useful to those who NEED such in their career path.

To belabor the point:

Two persons apply for academic position or research grant not requiring any foreign language skills:

First person has lengthy list of top publications.
Second person has half the list of top publications, but has one or more foreign language skills.

First person will get the job or research grant every time.

ML you're way off. When I was in grad school, MSC (Physics) back when dinosaurs still walked the Earth we were required to have reading proficiency in at least one foreign language. Some universities required two. Don't know if this applies in the UK.

Additionally, even today many grad students will learn a foreign language on their own, some take a semester or more off and go and live in another country to do this. There are actually scholarships, grants, bursaries, etc to do this. Some grad students who have some degree of knowledge of another language will go abroad and take courses in that language to improve their knowledge of the language. Again this is American grad schools don't know if applicable to the UK.

Does knowledge of a second language have anything to do with career potential? Yes for instance learning Mandarin Chinese is popular in some grad schools simply because of the varied areas of research coming out of China and because China is the most likely country to challenge the US. If the OP is in any of the STEMs learning Russian or Chinese would certainly be desirable. 

As for taking time away from research it happens all the time as a student. I took courses in grad school out of curiosity that had nothing to do with my area of study. My undergrad is a double honors in math and physics, a popular combination at the time for entry into grad school. By the time I graduated I had at 8 courses more than needed to graduated. They were taken out of curiosity and personal interest.

Today this is encouraged because many grad students burn out because of the mantra of "Publish or Perish". The push to publish as many articles as possible is real and is not sustainable over many years. Grad students are encouraged to have interests other than research and publishing papers.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Sting23 on May 24, 2018, 11:27:35 AM
Language learning is a tricky thing.  The most important thing is self motivation.  I had to learn French in school but forget everything now.  Simply no need to use it and nobody to talk with here.

In the USA, Spanish is by far the 2nd most used language due to the Hispanic influence.  But Spanish isn't as widespread as English.  Basically if you live in a non-English speaking country you will be learning English as a 2nd language due to its global use.

I taught kids in Russia and elsewhere.  Kids don't want to learn a 2nd language because they don't see a need for it.  When you are young you just want to play and have fun. 

Kyn's girl speaks English fluently enough that it would be pointless for him to study Russian to her level.  They will probably converse in English 99% of the time anyways.

It's good to be able to talk to the parents and friends but as others have said it's a trade off.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 24, 2018, 11:33:25 AM
ML you're way off. When I was in grad school, MSC (Physics) back when dinosaurs still walked the Earth we were required to have reading proficiency in at least one foreign language. Some universities required two. Don't know if this applies in the UK.

There's not a great deal of emphasis on language skills in UK universities. If there is any in Kyn's or his subject/level of education it will likely be the exception than the rule. Kyn what is your subject btw?

For most courses the idea will be that the person specializes in what ever they qualify in this country, to concentrate on their subject. I think the branching out into other disciplines/areas during studies is more an American thing, major/minor, choose after first year, have electives, etc, etc. We tend to have a much more rigid system here, at best you will be able to elect from a choice of modules a module from a similar field but these are mostly listed which ones you can do, if its not on the list then its a no-go.

So it would kind of be pot luck if you studied a language hard then a job came up that wanted it AND your specialism. Odds are a job would come up with someone wanting another language, lol. Most jobs though in the UK just ask for the specialism.

I think Kyn could learn a few words of Russian and see if he can pick it up along the way as something to do in the odd few moments here and there rather than spend good quality time on it. I use 'Before You Know It' - a free internet program that also has a handy app so you can learn it with earphones in on mobile phone. Good enough for a few basic words, though I don't think learning the whole language is likely from it. I've always been wanting to get to proper in class language learning classes but the nearest ones are miles away from me and never on the times/days that fit in with my schedule, a real pain.

I think generally though ML & BillyB are right here.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: ML on May 24, 2018, 11:33:36 AM
ML you're way off. When I was in grad school, MSC (Physics) back when dinosaurs still walked the Earth we were required to have reading proficiency in at least one foreign language. Some universities required two. Don't know if this applies in the UK.

Does knowledge of a second language have anything to do with career potential? Yes for instance learning Mandarin Chinese is popular in some grad schools simply because of the varied areas of research coming out of China and because China is the most likely country to challenge the US. If the OP is in any of the STEMs learning Russian or Chinese would certainly be desirable. 

Dave, I know that most here cannot read clearly.

But I was surprised coming from you, given your profession and the need to read details clearly.

I wrote:  "Now of course, it is certainly true that learning a foreign language (or several) can be useful to those who NEED such in their career path."
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Boethius on May 24, 2018, 11:35:58 AM
For a PhD, one should learn a language that will be most useful for the area of study - i.e., a language in which a significant amount of useful research is done.


Also, in most PhD programmes, one need only learn to read a second, or third language.  There is no requirement to speak it.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 24, 2018, 11:44:10 AM
I think you missed the part where this gal regularly gives herself orgasms at age 18.
She is fully awake sexually and is actually probably in the top 10-20% of women with regard to interest in sex.
Even today, many girls and women do not give themselves orgasms and many have never even had one such.
Many teenage girls simply have not felt the urge to provide themselves with an orgasm, even as they have romantic thoughts of princes on white horses, etc.

I am not quite sure regarding the concept of what providing orgasms to ones self does for women with respect to lessening the desire to have sex with someone or increasing the desire to have sex with someone.  I suspect the latter.

When I was with my last girl on the first week together in Kiev the first night or two I could hear her kicking with her leg on the mattress and she started moving across the mattress towards my side. Think it was on the second night she pulled me around and stuck her tongue in my mouth and gave me a long deep snog (she kept to the 3 night sex rule though). It's only later it occurred to me that she was almost certainly masturbating :D She followed up one of those times by having the kiss with me and I think later on sex also. So I think its could well be the latter also that it increases the desire to have sex with someone.   
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: DaveNY on May 24, 2018, 11:45:15 AM
Dave, I know that most here cannot read clearly.

But I was surprised coming from you, given your profession and the need to read details clearly.

I wrote:  "Now of course, it is certainly true that learning a foreign language (or several) can be useful to those who NEED such in their career path."

ML that's just it the OP is still in university he's far from chosen his career path. When I went to university I took math and physics and I literally had planned on being an astronaut or working on the moon or Mars. Seriously these were valid career options for me at the time. I've been a lawyer for 40 years. Things change especially in grad school when you learn more about your career options and grad school burnout. 
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: ML on May 24, 2018, 12:31:33 PM
ML that's just it the OP is still in university he's far from chosen his career path. When I went to university I took math and physics and I literally had planned on being an astronaut or working on the moon or Mars. Seriously these were valid career options for me at the time. I've been a lawyer for 40 years. Things change especially in grad school when you learn more about your career options and grad school burnout.

I assume he is well into his path since he is doing research.  So, if he needed a FL for his degree, he would already know about it and probably be done with it.

I too was going to major in physics so, even as undergrad, I took German as I knew it would be required for grad school.
But I switched majors, twice . . .
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: DaveNY on May 24, 2018, 01:05:52 PM
I assume he is well into his path since he is doing research.  So, if he needed a FL for his degree, he would already know about it and probably be done with it.

I too was going to major in physics so, even as undergrad, I took German as I knew it would be required for grad school.
But I switched majors, twice . . .

German and French for me. German because of the science and grad school and my hero was and still is Albert Einstein. French because of a g/f who was studying French.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: SANDRO43 on May 24, 2018, 04:25:08 PM
I think I stated already that I believe that the aptitude for foreign languages, almost regardless of age while of course easier when young, depends on personal brain structure - like the aptitude in other areas like mathematics, arts, athletics, etc. etc.

I speak 4 languages rather well and can manage to form some sentences in other half a dozen 'weird' others, from Greek to Arabic to Japanese, studied in my advanced 60s. The first thing I acquire speedily is their sounds, probably due to a certain musical ear of mine - again another brain ability.

Becoming fluent is another matter, it requires regular exposure and practice.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: msmob on May 24, 2018, 10:46:16 PM
It has nothing to do with being a clever chap.

Au contraire - it has EVERYTHING ... I not only meatn that Kyn is bright - he is wise for his age

Life is about learning through practicalities as well as academia. If learning another language is a diversionary  pleasure - so be it .

Somebody telling another it is a 'waste of time' is plain insane - to each their own, surely ?
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: myrddin on May 25, 2018, 06:45:22 AM
I think I stated already that I believe that the aptitude for foreign languages, almost regardless of age while of course easier when young, depends on personal brain structure - like the aptitude in other areas like mathematics, arts, athletics, etc. etc.

I speak 4 languages rather well and can manage to form some sentences in other half a dozen 'weird' others, from Greek to Arabic to Japanese, studied in my advanced 60s. The first thing I acquire speedily is their sounds, probably due to a certain musical ear of mine - again another brain ability.

Becoming fluent is another matter, it requires regular exposure and practice.

I've seen this, too, and there is growing evidence that neuroplasticity doesn't fade as quickly as once thought.

I know someone (from Sandro's part of the world, actually) who spoke a few languages beforehand and when he met his russian lady he went from zero to native Tolstoy in a few months. A musical type, too, without much of an accent (at least in English).

I would say it's worth trying to learn as much of the language as you possibly can.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Sting23 on May 25, 2018, 07:47:13 AM
I've seen this, too, and there is growing evidence that neuroplasticity doesn't fade as quickly as once thought.

I know someone (from Sandro's part of the world, actually) who spoke a few languages beforehand and when he met his russian lady he went from zero to native Tolstoy in a few months. A musical type, too, without much of an accent (at least in English).

I would say it's worth trying to learn as much of the language as you possibly can.

Native Tolstoy probably not! but conversationally fluent perhaps.  Even if you heard the language 24/7 a few months is too short a time to be fluent.  That has been proven by polyglots.

Europeans like the Swiss, Dutch and Scandinavians seem to pick up English very well as a 2nd or 3rd language.  Russians not so much.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 25, 2018, 08:48:40 AM
Well we're really talking about the other way around here Sting, i.e she & her Mum have asked Kyn to learn Russian. She is Russian and apparently knows English pretty fluent. On that basis I think it's even more of a luxury to learn Russian well - if she had trouble learning English as some Russians do then I might see why. Personally   my thought is maybe she could mix in the odd word of Russian in an otherwise English sentence when she talks to or messages with Kyn to help him learn Russian & make it more fun learning. He can guess or she can explain what the word is. Then gradually over time up the number of Russian words used.

Kyn is Singaporean by decent apparently so I'm not sure if that will make it easier or harder for him to learn a language, I'll guess easier. If he was an English guy by descent then I would say most English guys find learning a foreign language particularly hard, I'm certainly no exception. English girls and probably women I general I think pick up languages more easily, not all but many. I think this is probably down to the difference in how the female brain works, which side they think with some researchers have said.

I would love to learn Russian but so far fluency in other languages have alluded me when I learnt them years ago. I've tried learning Russian with all sorts of self learn materials but it's a tough task and one I've only got so much time for. So I'm down to the few badly pronounced words if I so wish to torture a Russian recipient with them :) Learning a bit more Russian would no doubt make me feel more comfortable when abroad though and be less of an outsider.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: msmob on May 27, 2018, 01:27:52 AM
Our Trench just doesn't GET it ..

Wishing Kyn to learn some Russian is a mark of respect and interest in  - in particular, the elder family members want to understand him.

IF you try to converse in their language it is so pleasing to them and rewarding for you

IF such learning is burdensome and unpleasurable  - this is possibly another clue as to as to Trench's suitability for this venture

So many guys expect their wives to come to another country - learn the lingo nd customs and NEVER go back to their home country - during visits home - rather sad

Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: SANDRO43 on May 27, 2018, 06:18:17 AM
Europeans like the Swiss, Dutch and Scandinavians seem to pick up English very well as a 2nd or 3rd language.
The Swiss are taught 3 languages at school (German, French, Italian) corresponding to the 3 cultures in their country.

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/08/Switzerland_Linguistic_EN.png/1024px-Switzerland_Linguistic_EN.png)

The native languages of the Netherlands, Denmark, Norway and Sweden belong to the Germanic family like English, which mostly explains their citizens' ease in acquiring the latter ;).
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: BdHvA on May 27, 2018, 06:33:39 AM
When I was with my last girl on the first week together in Kiev the first night or two I could hear her kicking with her leg on the mattress and she started moving across the mattress towards my side. Think it was on the second night she pulled me around and stuck her tongue in my mouth and gave me a long deep snog (she kept to the 3 night sex rule though). It's only later it occurred to me that she was almost certainly masturbating :D She followed up one of those times by having the kiss with me and I think later on sex also. So I think its could well be the latter also that it increases the desire to have sex with someone.

Excuse me. No male with common sense, a member (dinkle docker, Peter, wicked willy. . .) or intuition could possibly be so clueless.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Trenchcoat on May 27, 2018, 11:46:32 AM
The Swiss are taught 3 languages at school (German, French, Italian) corresponding to the 3 cultures in their country.

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/08/Switzerland_Linguistic_EN.png/1024px-Switzerland_Linguistic_EN.png)

The native languages of the Netherlands, Denmark, Norway and Sweden belong to the Germanic family like English, which mostly explains their citizens' ease in acquiring the latter ;).

I must say I found German more natural to learn & easier to pick up than French. I think if I had put a but of time into furthering my knowledge of German post GCSE & spent a bit of time out there, I could probably obtain a decent conversational grasp of it without a lot of trouble/huge effort. That said I really had no need for it though. Fun to learn at the time but I find particularly the more foreign languages not an easy task for me. Probaby not the way my mind is geared towards languages like some, stuff like music I found even more baffling to understand.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: SANDRO43 on May 27, 2018, 04:25:02 PM
I must say I found German more natural to learn & easier to pick up than French.
Are you surprised :o? French is a Latin-derived language, you Dumbkopf :(.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: kynrazor on May 31, 2018, 08:46:55 AM
It was mostly cultural with her, so I can imagine that your girls surrounding religious upbringing also have a big impact.
I chalked that down in my - mistakes book - and learned from it. And it seems, so have you :)

Perhaps this was what happened with Girl1. It was hard for me to decide for sure, but I couldn't be bothered to be left hanging, especially when I still needed to consider other prospects. Maybe I misjudged but well, in hindsight, one can always think of what might've or could've been.

I think four days is a bit soon to expect a young girl to give you indications of her feelings.  She probably didn't know what her feelings were.  I just think what you did was very unfeeling.  In your shoes, I would send her an apology about how you told her.  There is nothing wrong in deciding she's not the one for you, for whatever reason.  But you could have done it in a far more sensitive manner.

Perhaps I was going too fast. Or perhaps, she wanted someone different. I think it is always hard to make the decision, given the limited information I had garnered over Girl1. Be it sensitive or not, I think it was only right for her to know the truth, fully. At the very least, we can move on and not shed more tears in the process if it was prolonged and dragged out. Should I have spoken to her in person about it? I probably would've, if it were not my first time in an unfamiliar city, faced with unfamiliar societal norms and language barriers. I do hope though, that we shall retain a decent friendship.

Now, I need to say something to the OP about #3.  She has a lot of temptation in front of her.  She's only 18 and is a pretty gal.  When she goes away to college she will not have her parents to answer to.  Keep the relationship alive, to be the best of your ability, but don't be surprised if she takes a fork in the road. Neither you, nor she, are ready to be married yet.  If she remains steadfast, then you have a good woman.  But at 18, I know few women who went to college that were ready to be in a relationship that would last a lifetime.  (And here I should say especially a gal who is as sexually charged as she seems to be.)

I have to agree with Nightwish.  While you didn't get the vibe you were looking for from #1, I believe that she was probably the most ready to start a life with a man.  Just sayin.

Not sure about Girl1 man. I think in hindsight, she really took care of me very well and went out of her way to make sure I was comfortable and safe. The slight language barrier and the frequent misunderstandings didn't do much to help though.

I agree about Girl3. Anyway, if she leaves me, I can at least take solace in the fact that I may still be in my late twenties, ready to start afresh again, hopefully the wiser. The hope is that indeed, she shall remain steadfast, and the young relationship shall last. A baptism of fire is what it shall be, for sure.

When I got home I sent her a long email explaining how much I had enjoyed her company, and how much I had learnt by being with her (all true), but that it was very clear that we didn't have enough in common to commit to a life together.  I would never, EVER end a relationship, even one that short, by anything other than a personal meeting - but maybe that's just me and the way I was brought up.

I think it's what I've found to be true in this trip alone. Sharing common values, beliefs, activities, morals etc these are the very foundations without which a long-term relationship would be almost next to impossible to have. Hindsight is perhaps easier to see but I thought that was the best decision during my trip, to have closure in the least painful way. The girl would think I wouldn't have been worthy to be her man at all and her self-esteem would be intact.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: kynrazor on May 31, 2018, 09:21:42 AM
Yeah girl 3 did look a bit of the randy type :D

I think though  take the situation with girl 3 as the very good news it appears to be at the moment and run with that :)

Haha, fingers crossed mate. I hope I'll be able to keep up with her needs in the near future :D Anyway, I'm happy we share the same values and I hope that alone will suffice :)

Kyn, could easily have told the lass - before he left. Quite practical.

Very true. I'm hopeful, that bravery increases with age so that I'll be brave enough, if there ever is a next time.

I've never had these issues on home turf though.

Keep being honest with girl3 about your life's game plan and how she'll fit in. The wait to bring her over there is going to test you both. Time and distance can push people apart. visit her as much as you can. She probably won't ask you for anything but if you can spare $50 or $100 a month, send her some so she can buy some nice things for herself. Sending her some lets you know you care about her and that you value her. The little that you'd send is still cheaper than taking a girl out on 4 dates a month at home.

Yes indeed. It'll be a baptism of fire. I've had this thought in my mind that, if our relationship actually survive such challenging times so far away from each other, we'll be able to overcome anything.

She has never really asked me for anything :'( other than more time to be spent with me old self. And more time, is what I struggle to find for now, at least till I graduate in the next year for sure.

Kyn is a student and hardly a big earner, yet..  Lot's of steady relationships during Uni  years break up and even re-start after a time.

Billy's advice is more applicable to a guy with a regular income. Sending some money to an intended life partner is hardly daft...

I think it is quite true but I am not sure as to the reasons for break-ups for Uni relationships. I'm of the firm belief that Girl3 and I are of strong enough conviction to tide over this, but who knows.

She has never asked for material things or money for that matter though who knows things might change when she starts University. Her mother has been supporting her for a long time and will probably continue to do so for her University too.

Well Kyn, not meaning to pick apart matters, I think it seems like most women in the FSU dating scene seem to come with at least one caveat, pitfall, call it what you will. Here there is the time issue, as opposed to a woman the other side/towards the end of Uni that would be all ready to go. Admittedly its probably best not to get married overnight and a bit of time to build the relationship is not bad I guess to see how you both feel over time. Caveat here of course is that it will have to go the distance on a long distance relationship, which if it goes south a fair amount of time will be lost. Though at least you've got time on your side at the moment to play with. Sounds like you're going to have to get all in with this one for a while though and see how you both feel.

Th other one of course is that she seems heavily religious, if its a case that you can exist in relationship without feeling this too oppressive and over the top then it fine, otherwise it may take its toll after a while is my thoughts. Either way I guess you've got plenty of time to find out at least :)

I think it's fair to say it'll be a baptism of fire, for sure.

Regarding caveats/pitfalls, I think it is inevitable. Given enough time, I am sure one will almost always be able to find flaws in your close person. As the search goes on and on, it probably reaches a point where one must ask oneself:"Does she share a strong-enough connection? Am I satisfied? Why can't I settle? Is she not good enough for me?"

I think the trick is loving the person, despite his/her flaws though paradoxically, mutual love can only happen if there are shared common values.

I knew I would be facing the difficulties of a long distance relationship, long before I embarked on my long journey to find my FSU woman. And sure enough, these challenges are constantly reminded to us everytime we sleep next to an empty bed, unable to feel the presence of the significant other save for our own lucid imaginations.

I can only try to do my best and what will be, will be. If it ends up unsuccessful, I'll chalk it up to experience.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: kynrazor on May 31, 2018, 10:33:53 AM
Hey, kynrazor

Thanks for the TR!  You strike me as a reflective type of guy, so there's a kind of kynship, so to speak  :P.  You also sound like a serious guy capable of both taking advice and being honest with yourself, which is great. Prerequsiite, even.

I do have to say that I think many people, especially in the West, try to downplay religious issues in relationships.  I think that's a mistake because there are fundamental values in question. 

It sounds like she is a much more serious believer than you, if you are at all.  This will be something you need to deal with.  How you do so is between you and your lady, just don't let it sit on a back burner until something dramatic happens.  Even Marge Simpson said "Don't make me choose between my man and my god!"


My wife and I are not religious, but certain Orthodox traditions (other than actually going to church  ;) ) are a part of her history and her culture, and now a part of our family.

Best of luck!

Hi myrddin! Thank you for your kind words :)

I've actually gotten around to reading your TR and indeed, I feel that we share many things in common, both being such expressive and reflective writers. I've found writing is one of the best ways I can share my thoughts, trials and tribulations best in its entirety. At times, it feels like therapy even XD

Also, I agree. I think that religion can be a big issue, especially if the significant other chooses for it to be so. However, she has accepted my stance as an agnostic at present and I have no qualms about carrying out or joining in certain orthodox traditions if she so chooses to do them. Though one does not know our eventual future, one is optimistically hopeful at present.

Seeing as you've been having a great time, enjoying life together with the wife, family and all, it truly gives us rookies much reason to be hopeful :) It may or may not be a success yet, depending on the yardstick but I firmly believe your story is already an achievement in its own right, that deserves to be celebrated.

This would be a very foolish thing to do.

Your priorities should be:

1) Finish PhD
2) Get beginning job as Assistant Professor (or whatever the title in different countries).
3) Research, and Publish, publish, publish to get tenured and promotion to Associate Professor.
4) Research, and Publish, publish, publish to get promotion to Full Professor.
5) This will take you 12-15 years down the road.
6) Then, if you want to forego all merit raises for the rest of your career and only receive cost of living raises (if any), you can cut back on your research and publication efforts and spend time learning a foreign language.

Even if you are not pursuing a PhD and a teaching career, the same advice holds; just change the duties and promotion path around to correspond with the job category.

The above assumes you and your gal will be living in an English speaking country.

Of course if you plan to live full time forever in another country; then yes, learn the language of that country.

Indeed, Girl3 and I do plan to live in an English-speaking country for the fore-seeable future. However unproductive it may seem, the mama still insists on her daughter finishing her university in Moscow. As such, I agree it would be seemingly useless to learn Russian for me, especially from a career perspective. It is largely on Girl3's encouragement, that I am willing to at least give it a try. I have reasons to believe this might lead to a better understanding and appreciation of her culture.

In regards to my academic career, I am sitting on the fence at the moment. Part of me wants to go into industry right after I finish my Masters but part of me likes the process of applying the scientific method and applying oneself to research as well. If I can fulfill both, that would be the dream.

She is fully awake sexually and is actually probably in the top 10-20% of women with regard to interest in sex.
Even today, many girls and women do not give themselves orgasms and many have never even had one such.
Many teenage girls simply have not felt the urge to provide themselves with an orgasm, even as they have romantic thoughts of princes on white horses, etc.

I am not quite sure regarding the concept of what providing orgasms to ones self does for women with respect to lessening the desire to have sex with someone or increasing the desire to have sex with someone.  I suspect the latter.

Well, she still possess quite conservative values, still. I hope that will suffice for her to control herself and make herself available to be loved, only by one man.

She has certainly been quite jealous and possessive when I was there with her. I remembered every single time my phone beeped up with a message, she will ask who it is from. You can just imagine her eyes wide awake when she found out one was from a former classmate who wanted to meet up.

"I do not want you to see her. Promise me you won't ever see her without me" said the lass. :rolleyes:

If an academician spends takes ANY time away from research and publication, he/she will achieve much less in terms of promotions, MONEY, and jobs at prestigious positions/universities than if they stick to the research and publications.

So yes, any of us (clever or less clever) can spend time learning something which has nothing to do with our career path . . . if we understand and are willing to accept the lower achievement of our career.

Now of course, it is certainly true that learning a foreign language (or several) can be useful to those who NEED such in their career path.

The time I wasted on the 3 foreign languages could have been used to further enhance my earnings and advancement of my actual career.

If you're talking about needs, then it is very true that it is not necessary, ML. I will agree with that. Learning Russian has NOT been and NEVER could be a professional endeavour thus far. I've been trying to learn it with however much free time I have left, though I can readily admit not much progress has been made relative to the 4 weeks since I started receiving free lessons.

This is besides the point but it used to be the case that learning German could be helpful and useful for the average research chemist, since the Germans were the only ones who kept a great catalogue/record of all the scientific chemical research that has ever been carried out before. Today, everything has been translated and is available online, and it no longer becomes a necessity.

ML you're way off. When I was in grad school, MSC (Physics) back when dinosaurs still walked the Earth we were required to have reading proficiency in at least one foreign language. Some universities required two. Don't know if this applies in the UK.

Additionally, even today many grad students will learn a foreign language on their own, some take a semester or more off and go and live in another country to do this. There are actually scholarships, grants, bursaries, etc to do this. Some grad students who have some degree of knowledge of another language will go abroad and take courses in that language to improve their knowledge of the language. Again this is American grad schools don't know if applicable to the UK.

Does knowledge of a second language have anything to do with career potential? Yes for instance learning Mandarin Chinese is popular in some grad schools simply because of the varied areas of research coming out of China and because China is the most likely country to challenge the US. If the OP is in any of the STEMs learning Russian or Chinese would certainly be desirable. 

As for taking time away from research it happens all the time as a student. I took courses in grad school out of curiosity that had nothing to do with my area of study. My undergrad is a double honors in math and physics, a popular combination at the time for entry into grad school. By the time I graduated I had at 8 courses more than needed to graduated. They were taken out of curiosity and personal interest.

Today this is encouraged because many grad students burn out because of the mantra of "Publish or Perish". The push to publish as many articles as possible is real and is not sustainable over many years. Grad students are encouraged to have interests other than research and publishing papers.

Hmm, much food for thought. Wow, you certainly seemed to have had lots of interests Dave. :D I think it isn't directly evident though, that learning Russian would contribute to and help with scientific research for sure, unlike German, Japanese, Chinese or French etc. Quite unfortunate

Kyn what is your subject btw?

I research into Bio-Inorganic Chemistry. Specifically looking into (investigating) the mechanistic pathways of the molecules of interest in different strains of a particular enzyme to figure out how it all works. Isolating chemical intermediates helps in this process.

For most courses the idea will be that the person specializes in what ever they qualify in this country, to concentrate on their subject. I think the branching out into other disciplines/areas during studies is more an American thing, major/minor, choose after first year, have electives, etc, etc. We tend to have a much more rigid system here, at best you will be able to elect from a choice of modules a module from a similar field but these are mostly listed which ones you can do, if its not on the list then its a no-go.

Most jobs though in the UK just ask for the specialism.

I think Kyn could learn a few words of Russian and see if he can pick it up along the way as something to do in the odd few moments here and there rather than spend good quality time on it. I use 'Before You Know It' - a free internet program that also has a handy app so you can learn it with earphones in on mobile phone. Good enough for a few basic words, though I don't think learning the whole language is likely from it. I've always been wanting to get to proper in class language learning classes but the nearest ones are miles away from me and never on the times/days that fit in with my schedule, a real pain.

Whilst I would agree with you that we do tend to specialise quite early on at the undergrad level (in a UK vs US comparison), you would find most cutting-edge research increasingly multi-disciplinary and the lines between various scientific disciplines getting increasingly blurry even.

For the time being, I'm just taking things slower at a more comfy pace, learning Russian from my girl. I do not have any expectations. It is not my priority at the moment though I am sure Girl3 will want to see some hint of progress at least.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: kynrazor on May 31, 2018, 10:59:19 AM
I think I stated already that I believe that the aptitude for foreign languages, almost regardless of age while of course easier when young, depends on personal brain structure - like the aptitude in other areas like mathematics, arts, athletics, etc. etc.

I speak 4 languages rather well and can manage to form some sentences in other half a dozen 'weird' others, from Greek to Arabic to Japanese, studied in my advanced 60s. The first thing I acquire speedily is their sounds, probably due to a certain musical ear of mine - again another brain ability.

Becoming fluent is another matter, it requires regular exposure and practice.

You're a legend Sandros. My respect! :clapping:

Like music, practice makes perfect. And in actuality, like learning the piano makes it easier for you to pick up the saxophone, I find that learning a language seems to get a little easier the more languages you know.

I have oftentimes pondered over the connection between language and music. For instance, is music a subset of language or is it the other way around? :D

Native Tolstoy probably not! but conversationally fluent perhaps.  Even if you heard the language 24/7 a few months is too short a time to be fluent.  That has been proven by polyglots.

Europeans like the Swiss, Dutch and Scandinavians seem to pick up English very well as a 2nd or 3rd language.  Russians not so much.

I think it's generally true for most folks. Don't think I have seen anyone who can go from zero to fluent within a couple of months anyway.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: BillyB on May 31, 2018, 11:22:41 AM
Yes indeed. It'll be a baptism of fire. I've had this thought in my mind that, if our relationship actually survive such challenging times so far away from each other, we'll be able to overcome anything.

She has never really asked me for anything :'( other than more time to be spent with me old self. And more time, is what I struggle to find for now, at least till I graduate in the next year for sure.



Helping her out with a little allowance will show you're investing in her and you're willing to take care of her. During the courtship phase, you have to prove you're marriage/husband material. Girl3 thinks the world of you now but if you don't act like the man she envisions you to be, she will have doubts and your relationship will deteriorate.


I agree it would be seemingly useless to learn Russian for me, especially from a career perspective. It is largely on Girl3's encouragement, that I am willing to at least give it a try. I have reasons to believe this might lead to a better understanding and appreciation of her culture.



Girl3 is young and her advice may not be wise. You have only some much capability to learn. Near 100% of your ability to learn should be focused at the university. Get solid grades and get a great job. The learning of a new language can come later after you obtain financial security which will allows you to build a life together with Girl3.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: ML on June 03, 2018, 12:29:06 PM
Haha, fingers crossed mate. I hope I'll be able to keep up with her needs in the near future :D
Note to the less experienced:

No man can ever keep up with females who are highly interested in frequent sex and repeated sex during the same sessions.
That is . . . if keeping up means erections and orgasms.

Women, unlike men, do not undergo a 'refractory period' and thus can experience an unlimited number of orgasms with no loss of sexual arousal.

But if you are willing . . . and the woman is satisfied with . . . then you can use other of your body parts to give her the virtually unlimited number of orgasms she is capable of.

The vast majority of men are not willing to do this . . . after (and even before) they have had their one and only.
And many women will first state that they don't wish to partake if the man can not 'finish' again also . . . but once they give it a try . . . they will never decline again.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: kynrazor on June 19, 2018, 08:31:38 AM
Note to the less experienced:

No man can ever keep up with females who are highly interested in frequent sex and repeated sex during the same sessions.
That is . . . if keeping up means erections and orgasms.

Women, unlike men, do not undergo a 'refractory period' and thus can experience an unlimited number of orgasms with no loss of sexual arousal.

But if you are willing . . . and the woman is satisfied with . . . then you can use other of your body parts to give her the virtually unlimited number of orgasms she is capable of.

The vast majority of men are not willing to do this . . . after (and even before) they have had their one and only.
And many women will first state that they don't wish to partake if the man can not 'finish' again also . . . but once they give it a try . . . they will never decline again.

 :shock:
I readily admit I'm not very experienced in this department ML. Then again, she has told me her past ex-boyfriend could never satisfy her emotional needs, though physical-wise (kissing, etc) it was fine.

I will see how far this relationship can go. I'm feeling lucky.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: kynrazor on June 19, 2018, 08:35:44 AM
Helping her out with a little allowance will show you're investing in her and you're willing to take care of her. During the courtship phase, you have to prove you're marriage/husband material. Girl3 thinks the world of you now but if you don't act like the man she envisions you to be, she will have doubts and your relationship will deteriorate.

Sometimes, I've asked whether she needed anything, but all she would usually say is her parents can support her and it was all good, though she has given me her body measurements on the off chance that I might buy lingerie for her to dress in order to "satisfy" her man. :-[ What a lass :popcorn:

Girl3 is young and her advice may not be wise. You have only some much capability to learn. Near 100% of your ability to learn should be focused at the university. Get solid grades and get a great job. The learning of a new language can come later after you obtain financial security which will allows you to build a life together with Girl3.

Very true. It is what I thought too. Hence my less than satisfactory progress in my efforts to learn Russian in the girl's opinion.  :rolleyes: I think I'm doing alright though.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: BillyB on June 19, 2018, 08:47:56 AM
Sometimes, I've asked whether she needed anything, but all she would usually say is her parents can support her and it was all good,


That's what a good girl says. They won't ask for money but they do expect their man to be responsible enough to take care of the family. In your case it's a potential future family. If you can send her $50 or $100 a month, do it. Tell her its waiting for her at Western Union. It's enough to let her know you want to take care of her but not too much as if you're trying to buy her love. But make sure you are able to save up for another trip.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: msmob on June 19, 2018, 11:45:09 AM
For those with RU partners / g/fs in Russia

IF you are going to send money after 1 July it is likely to be taxed and your loved one must claim it back !!!
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: rwd123 on June 19, 2018, 06:49:21 PM
msmob -do you have details on this? I have a bank account in Russia and sometimes make deposits.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: msmob on June 20, 2018, 12:09:50 AM
I've asked one person who's told me to find me a link and will post

If true will be USing a bank card from another nation
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: BdHvA on June 20, 2018, 04:11:47 AM
I've asked one person who's told me to find me a link and will post

If true will be suing a bank card from another nation

Moby, did you mean to write using? I would be interested in seeing the link.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: msmob on June 20, 2018, 05:17:31 AM
Yes, I did and noticed my howler, before reading your post...but thank you!)

My friend is a noctural creature when hot in Sochi...I am sure he will wake up, soon ...to allow me to post said link
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: SANDRO43 on June 20, 2018, 05:46:06 AM
I have oftentimes pondered over the connection between language and music. For instance, is music a subset of language or is it the other way around? :D
No, IMO the two are totally separate. Their only connection lies in sound, which when received is initially processed by the same brain area(s).

After that, the sound signal goes to the left brain hemisphere (language) or the right brain hemisphere (music) for further processing. 
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: BdHvA on June 20, 2018, 05:52:09 AM
No, IMO the two are totally separate. Their only connection lies in sound, which when received is initially processed by the same brain area(s).

After that, the sound signal goes to the left brain hemisphere (language) or the right brain hemisphere (music) for further processing.

Where does an opera aria go?  :D
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: BdHvA on June 20, 2018, 06:13:17 AM
No, IMO the two are totally separate. Their only connection lies in sound, which when received is initially processed by the same brain area(s).

After that, the sound signal goes to the left brain hemisphere (language) or the right brain hemisphere (music) for further processing.

While I prefer glass walls between forums, I can not resist,

I've finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain. On the left side there is nothing right and on the right side there is nothing left.

It's a good play of English usage.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: SANDRO43 on June 20, 2018, 06:35:48 AM
Where does an opera aria go? :D
I was about to modify my post to mention song ;D.

Probably an aria is processed simultaneously by both hemispheres (or mainly by one, depending on personal inclination), while a recitativo only by the left one. An opera alternates emotional expressions (arias, when time stands still) with 'factual' expressions (recitativos) that carry its theatrical action forward in time.
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: SANDRO43 on June 20, 2018, 06:39:23 AM
I've finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain.
On the left side there is nothing right and on the right side there is nothing left.
  :ROFL: :clapping:

I would tweak it shorter, to say:

"I've finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain.
On the left side nothing is right, on the right nothing is left." ;)
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: msmob on June 20, 2018, 06:51:07 AM
Well now, seems my friend and I are the victims of fake news re taxing money as it is paid into the bank

http://journal.tinkoff.ru/fake-news/nalogi-i-banki/ (http://journal.tinkoff.ru/fake-news/nalogi-i-banki/)
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: LAman on June 20, 2018, 03:09:08 PM
Well now, seems my friend and I are the victims of fake news re taxing money as it is paid into the bank

http://journal.tinkoff.ru/fake-news/nalogi-i-banki/ (http://journal.tinkoff.ru/fake-news/nalogi-i-banki/)

I thought so, I was waiting to hear about 'new tax' law. Does this mean you will delete post so no one will be confused?
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: Anotherkiwi on June 20, 2018, 05:49:52 PM
Where does an opera aria go?  :D

You actually listen to those?  ;D
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: msmob on June 20, 2018, 10:35:26 PM
I thought so, I was waiting to hear about 'new tax' law. Does this mean you will delete post so no one will be confused?

Lamam

IF you 'thought so', I missed your post.

The mods are welcome to delete the post or keep it as testiment to the danger of passing on rumour.

Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: LAman on June 20, 2018, 11:43:02 PM
Lamam

IF you 'thought so', I missed your post.

The mods are welcome to delete the post or keep it as testiment to the danger of passing on rumour.



If you need an explanation. 'thought so' was my thinking it wasn't true because I would have heard something. As I stated, I was waiting to read your link to the story.
Besides, from what I know, why would they put any restrictions on money coming in? Did the US put a tax on money coming from Russia?
Title: Re: Enroute to Russia, the Search Continues...
Post by: msmob on June 21, 2018, 12:01:28 AM


If you need an explanation. 'thought so' was my thinking it wasn't true because I would have heard something. As I stated, I was waiting to read your link to the story.
Besides, from what I know, why would they put any restrictions on money coming in? Did the US put a tax on money coming from Russia?

Thank you for your explanation - so WHY the need to 'delete' ?


This rumour had NOTHING to do with 'sanctions' or even money from abroad - just credits received in general