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Author Topic: Disconnect with lady when I left  (Read 8644 times)

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Offline JensenHealey907

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Disconnect with lady when I left
« on: December 12, 2016, 02:19:44 AM »
So I left Ukraine early morning on a Tuesday and really did not arrive home until very late Wednesday evening. I had sort of hoped for an E-mail from my lady friend in my inbox during that time asking if I got home alright however such was not the case. So once I regained some mental faculties by getting some sleep I dropped her a note on Thursday afternoon. Then I waited....  and I waited... for three more days in fact. I was really starting to become concerned by this point. Finally on Saturday morning I got a note from her. It seems that once she got back from the Lviv airport and the driver guy dropped her off at her home in Chernivtsi she was walking across some ice and snow and fell down. Some of you may recall that I said I was taking a laptop along which if things seemed to go as I hoped that I would leave the laptop with her. Well I did that but when she fell she landed ON the laptop. :(  She says the screen is cracked and she lost the battery in the snow there. So my grand plans of being able to keep up more frequent contact with her by providing her with the laptop are dashed in the snow outside her apartment.

She says she was off work for a couple of days and had to get x-rays of her arm to make sure there was no permanent damage. Fortunately she says the x-rays did not show any significant damage. SO I wrote to her to tell her to not worry about the laptop that things can be easily replaced but she cannot.

Anyway the best laid plans of mice and men often got awry.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2016, 09:00:59 AM by JensenHealey907 »

Offline pokerintherear

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2016, 08:39:08 AM »
Be prepared to cover all expenses by playing off your nice guy emotions.

Cracked screen, battery/ or new laptop, medicine, loss income from work....ect . This fall will cost you about $1000.00 or is something else at play?

Battery???

Online Hammer2722

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2016, 08:42:58 AM »
I would definitely be concerned if she starts asking you for money for medical and or pc repair costs.......
every ship can be a minesweeper at least once...

Offline pokerintherear

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2016, 08:45:45 AM »
She won't have to ask. He will volunteer to pay for all,  no questions asked.


Offline JensenHealey907

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2016, 09:02:13 AM »
She has not asked for money at all. I got all this info because she was explaining why she had not written to me for several days.

Offline BillyB

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2016, 09:23:32 AM »
Whether it's a phone or laptop, these women are good at taking care of high dollar items. I suspect accidents with high dollar items don't happen very often in the FSU. Losing the battery after falling is suspect. Probably a $30+ item and it would be search for thoroughly. How far away can that thing bounce off the laptop? Why wasn't the laptop in a bag?

I've read stories here where guys get involved with women and those women begin to have problems on a regular basis that are solved with money.

A lot of us are going to suspect she's after more money but we don't know her. YOU need to evaluate the quality of the lady you just visited. In what ways did she take care of you? Was her feelings towards you genuine?
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Offline JensenHealey907

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2016, 09:27:59 AM »
The laptop was not in a bag because I just gave it to her as I left. I also gave her $50 extra and told her to get a bag for it. She had not had a chance to do that since all of this happened on her trip home from dropping me off at the Lviv airport. So basically it's my fault it wasn't in a bag yet.

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2016, 09:29:29 AM »
The laptop could have just been left in her apartment. Why did she need a laptop? She no doubt contacted you ok before?

Accidents do happen but to me this sounds like a typical Ukrainian girl BS statement of a so-called 'accident'.

My thoughts are most probably:

1). She was not that into you but as said earlier might as well have a good time while you're there you having gone all that way n' all. As such she has no interest in talking with you frequently, the laptop does not aid in this situation for her, hence the 'accident'. She wants to let you down easy and quickly move on.

2). She is not that into you and would rather just use the laptop for her own needs or just sell the laptop and get some much needed money. This is the more likely case than it having actually broken. The situation exists of course that they laptop you gave her is 'apparently broken' so 'oh no how am I going to contact you now with ease' the answer of course is for you to send her the money or send her a new laptop.

Now, I'm thinking number 1 is the most likely situation, odds are she is not an outright scammer but left with an awkward situation which is neither of your fault - it happens two people meet but there is no chemistry - its happened to me. There is probably a liking there and you got on but that's all. See how communication goes in the next few days/weeks but be prepared to move on and have another go!
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Offline Gator

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2016, 09:43:34 AM »


SO I wrote to her to tell her to not worry about the laptop that things can be easily replaced but she cannot.



You sent her an excellent response. 

The relationships are all about your feelings for her and what you perceive are her feelings towards you.  If you feel good, keep going.  However, eyes wide open....analyze the patterns. 

The more time you spend with her, the more you get to know your woman......usually......The language barrier will constrain you. 

My question - why didn't you call her or text her?   A UM would have been more attentive. 


Sidebar:  Do you have a Jensen Healey?  My friend in college (the 60s)  had a new Austin Healey 3000.  It broke down every month.  Damn British electronics (Lucas).  Made we wonder how Brits kept their Spitfires flying against the Nazis.   

Offline BillyB

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #9 on: December 12, 2016, 09:45:12 AM »
So basically it's my fault it wasn't in a bag yet.


Any high dollar item you give to your lady should be concealed in a bag if she has to walk out in public with it. It is not your fault the laptop broke. If it were truly an accident, it is not the lady's fault the laptop broke.

This incident doesn't make her any less sincere from the time you met her. She was either a sincere or insincere person when you met her. If sincere, proceed. If insincere, move on to another woman. Marrying an insincere person will be very expensive and waste many years of your life.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline JensenHealey907

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2016, 09:49:21 AM »
You sent her an excellent response. 

The relationships are all about your feelings for her and what you perceive are her feelings towards you.  If you feel good, keep going.  However, eyes wide open....analyze the patterns. 

The more time you spend with her, the more you get to know your woman......usually......The language barrier will constrain you. 

My question - why didn't you call her or text her?   A UM would have been more attentive. 


Sidebar:  Do you have a Jensen Healey?  My friend in college (the 60s)  had a new Austin Healey 3000.  It broke down every month.  Damn British electronics (Lucas).  Made we wonder how Brits kept their Spitfires flying against the Nazis.

I did try calling her several times but could not get through.

And yes I do have several Jensen-Healey cars which are not the same as an Austin-Healey. Whenever someone asks about this I have a set line I respond with "Two different cars designed by the same independent UK car designer. An Austin-Healey was a Austin car designed by Donald Healey. A Jensen-Healey was a Jensen car also designed by Donald Healey."

Offline Boethius

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #11 on: December 12, 2016, 09:51:28 AM »
The laptop could have just been left in her apartment. Why did she need a laptop? She no doubt contacted you ok before?

Accidents do happen but to me this sounds like a typical Ukrainian girl BS statement of a so-called 'accident'.

My thoughts are most probably:

1). She was not that into you but as said earlier might as well have a good time while you're there you having gone all that way n' all. As such she has no interest in talking with you frequently, the laptop does not aid in this situation for her, hence the 'accident'. She wants to let you down easy and quickly move on.

2). She is not that into you and would rather just use the laptop for her own needs or just sell the laptop and get some much needed money. This is the more likely case than it having actually broken. The situation exists of course that they laptop you gave her is 'apparently broken' so 'oh no how am I going to contact you now with ease' the answer of course is for you to send her the money or send her a new laptop.

Now, I'm thinking number 1 is the most likely situation, odds are she is not an outright scammer but left with an awkward situation which is neither of your fault - it happens two people meet but there is no chemistry - its happened to me. There is probably a liking there and you got on but that's all. See how communication goes in the next few days/weeks but be prepared to move on and have another go!


This is why I believe you will never find a happy relationship with an FSUW.  Everything is through the prism of a scam/being taken advantage of.  It's your life, but it's a sad way to live.
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Offline JensenHealey907

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #12 on: December 12, 2016, 09:57:17 AM »
Yes, it was not my intention with this post to give any indication that my lady friend was trying to scam me. Previous to this I have had experience with other ladies in FSU who were scammers but this lady does not give off any of those vibes at all. She seems very sincere. I was just trying to pass on to the group here an "oh crap" incident.

Offline Gator

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2016, 10:07:51 AM »
Austin-Healey was a Austin car designed by Donald Healey. A Jensen-Healey was a Jensen car also designed by Donald Healey."

Years later, so I assume Donald Healey made some mechanical and electronic improvements.  I had a TR-3, wire wheels and all.  Simple engine taken from a farm tractor model. 

One of my friends collects British sports cars.  So many he has a warehouse and fulltime mechanic.  Perhaps you know about such collectors.  He resides in Tampa.  I have no idea if he participates in collector clubs. 

Offline Gator

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #14 on: December 12, 2016, 10:10:50 AM »

This is why I believe you will never find a happy relationship with an FSUW.  Everything is through the prism of a scam/being taken advantage of.  It's your life, but it's a sad way to live.

Listen to her Trenchcoat.  It is true.  Your fears will turn off  the sincere women. 

Relax and stay positive. 

Offline GQBlues

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #15 on: December 12, 2016, 10:41:49 AM »
So I left Ukraine early morning on a Tuesday and really did not arrive home until very late Wednesday evening. I had sort of hoped for an E-mail from my lady friend in my inbox during that time asking if I got home alright however such was not the case. So once I regained some mental faculties by getting some sleep I dropped her a note on Thursday afternoon. Then I waited....  and I waited... for three more days in fact. I was really starting to become concerned by this point. Finally on Saturday morning I got a note from her. It seems that once she got back from the Lviv airport and the driver guy dropped her off at her home in Chernivtsi she was walking across some ice and snow and fell down. Some of you may recall that I said I was taking a laptop along which if things seemed to go as I hoped that I would leave the laptop with her. Well I did that but when she fell she landed ON the laptop. :(  She says the screen is cracked and she lost the battery in the snow there. So my grand plans of being able to keep up more frequent contact with her by providing her with the laptop are dashed in the snow outside her apartment.

She says she was off work for a couple of days and had to get x-rays of her arm to make sure there was no permanent damage. Fortunately she says the x-rays did not show any significant damage. SO I wrote to her to tell her to not worry about the laptop that things can be easily replaced but she cannot.

Anyway the best laid plans of mice and men often got awry.

If you have at least an ounce of wits about you, and coupled with a decent dose of inter-personal relationship experience before, you should have ample resource at this point in your life to rely on your own instincts.

How that translate:

You just spent a period in an intimate fashion with someone. It is within this period that you need to be perfectly honest with yourself and not forsake what reality was showing you. Doubts are created not of actions by others, but rather by denial of your own. No one else on this board shared those moments with you and your lady. So if your instinct is telling you you have reasons to doubt, or not, believe in it.
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Offline pokerintherear

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #16 on: December 12, 2016, 10:54:21 AM »
I had sort of hoped for an E-mail from my lady friend in my inbox during that time asking if I got home alright however such was not the case. So once I regained some mental faculties by getting some sleep I dropped her a note on Thursday afternoon. Then I waited....  and I waited... for three more days in fact. I was really starting to become concerned by this point. Finally on Saturday morning I got a note from her.

Most of the men who have traveled to Ukraine/Russia will tell you if they had a good meeting and the woman was sincerely interested and thought you were a catch she would have immediately replied to your mail in concern you had a safe trip. Actually some will tell you their phone was blowing up with sms messages  before they got through passport control.

The above is why I'm skeptical about your story. Hopefully all can be taken as sincerity and you will have a future meeting to further the relationship. 3 days is the red flag. Maybe she stayed in Lviv for a few days and did not want to tell you?


Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #17 on: December 12, 2016, 01:21:57 PM »
Yeah, I got a fair number of texts from the girl I had visited first time during and after return even though  there was no affection there beyond the mandatory. We got on well but unfortunately that was all.

OP if you weren't even getting these then it's not a good sign unless there was an overriding reason she was cut off altogether.

Gator, for sure I'll make sure my natural skepticism doesn't dominate if I can, many thanks.
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Online 2tallbill

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Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #18 on: December 12, 2016, 02:53:26 PM »
The laptop was not in a bag because I just gave it to her as I left. I also gave her $50 extra and told her to get a bag for it. She had not had a chance to do that since all of this happened on her trip home from dropping me off at the Lviv airport. So basically it's my fault it wasn't in a bag yet.

Nobody knows the girl and situation better than you do. So I will give you some
general advice that every newbie can use and you can decide how much it applies
to you and your situation.

In most cases after you leave a girl who is genuinely romantically interested in
you, she will call/write/email/sms you to make sure that you have arrived at
home safely. She won't disappear unless the KGB shoots her dead and even
then she will call you while crawling and bleeding to let you know that she
misses you, she is ok and, it's just a scratch.

Note: Advice below is my opinion based on experience, but still my opinion.

If a girl makes a disappearance after a trip it's usually one of two things.

1. She is getting scared/cold feet
The sudden realization that she might be leaving her family, friends, country and
culture all became a potential reality. She may or may not have stepped over the
edge. What I mean is that it may or may not be over.

It's over 75% chance.
Not over 22.75% chance.
Something else 2.25%

It's up to you to decide if things are salvageable or if the risk/effort is worth it.
Usually, I would write her off, but I don't have the on the ground, face to face
experience with the girl that the OP does.

If you want to try to salvage things, you need to assume that she is scared.
She needs reassurance fast and furious.
A. Reassurance that she will talk to her family and friends on Skype every day
B. Reassurance that she will be happy by your side
C. Reassurance that you miss her
D. Reassurance that she will not be moving to Neptune and that she will be
traveling back and forth at least once a year to see her family and friends.
and another trip as soon as possible.
E. Reassurance that you are the real deal and that everything is going to be ok.
F. Reassurance that you will be heading back soon.

2. The girl isn't seriously interested
She might be a good girl and after thinking about it has decided that although
she likes you, that she isn't going to marry you and that the story was a just a
story to let you down easy. If this is the case then she will be coming up with
more and more excuses in the near future.

Seriously interested girls don't come up with excuses they come up with solutions.
She will figure out how to communicate with you. If the neighbors dog ate her
phone, she will get the neighbor to loan her a phone until she can replace it.
She will borrow from a friend or relative, she will learn Morse code and send
messages from a ham radio, she will get up at 4:00 am to use her coworkers
computer at work, she will find a way.

It's up to you to determine whether it's #1 or #2 and how to respond. It's usually
#2

Udachi!

Bill
« Last Edit: December 12, 2016, 03:00:26 PM by 2tallbill »
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Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline ML

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #19 on: December 12, 2016, 03:08:49 PM »
It's up to you to determine whether it's #1 or #2 and how to respond. It's usually #2


How to respond ?

You mean like to stand or sit ?

- - - - - - - - - -

I went to Primary grade at a one-room country school.

Teacher told us to hold up our hand if we needed to go to outdoor toilet.

I said:  "How will that help?"
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Offline Boethius

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #20 on: December 12, 2016, 04:00:46 PM »
I disagree with Bill.  I think a lot of that is so that the man doesn't lose interest, rather than her genuine romantic interest.


I agree with GQ.  The OP can gauge it himself, and his intuition, if he listens, won't let him down.
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Offline Brasscasing

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #21 on: December 14, 2016, 10:16:36 AM »
So I left Ukraine early morning on a Tuesday and really did not arrive home until very late Wednesday evening. I had sort of hoped for an E-mail from my lady friend in my inbox during that time asking if I got home alright however such was not the case. So once I regained some mental faculties by getting some sleep I dropped her a note on Thursday afternoon. Then I waited....  and I waited... for three more days in fact. I was really starting to become concerned by this point. Finally on Saturday morning I got a note from her. It seems that once she got back from the Lviv airport and the driver guy dropped her off at her home in Chernivtsi she was walking across some ice and snow and fell down. Some of you may recall that I said I was taking a laptop along which if things seemed to go as I hoped that I would leave the laptop with her. Well I did that but when she fell she landed ON the laptop. :(  She says the screen is cracked and she lost the battery in the snow there. So my grand plans of being able to keep up more frequent contact with her by providing her with the laptop are dashed in the snow outside her apartment.

She says she was off work for a couple of days and had to get x-rays of her arm to make sure there was no permanent damage. Fortunately she says the x-rays did not show any significant damage. SO I wrote to her to tell her to not worry about the laptop that things can be easily replaced but she cannot.

Anyway the best laid plans of mice and men often got awry.

Based on the direction (of what you're relating to us regarding) your trip to Ukraine is taking:

 Did you ever access your banking information with that laptop? and;

 If so, if it were me, as a precaution I'd change my passwords/codes.

Brass
« Last Edit: December 14, 2016, 10:18:44 AM by Brasscasing »
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Offline JensenHealey907

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #22 on: December 14, 2016, 10:22:16 AM »
No, I used a different hard drive in the laptop while I was there and then transferred in a different hard drive with a fresh install of Win7 on it just before I gave it to her.

Offline Brasscasing

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #23 on: December 14, 2016, 10:25:30 AM »
No, I used a different hard drive in the laptop while I was there and then transferred in a different hard drive with a fresh install of Win7 on it just before I gave it to her.

Prudent move.

Brass
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Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #24 on: December 14, 2016, 12:31:54 PM »
I disagree with Bill.  I think a lot of that is so that the man doesn't lose interest, rather than her genuine romantic interest.


I agree with GQ.  The OP can gauge it himself, and his intuition, if he listens, won't let him down.

I wrote a lot maybe you can elaborate more on what part(s) you disagree with.
You think she was playing hard to get for 5 days?

I had a few experiences where an FSUW goes awol. 100% of them ended badly,
but that's only anecdotal experience. Angel Eyes by comparison had always tried
to contact me before I even got home. 

Udachi!

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

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Re: Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #25 on: December 14, 2016, 12:48:07 PM »
I don't think the lack of email was a huge issue before a meaningful relationship has developed.  But, given posts in the other thread, I do not believe this woman is sincere.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Online 2tallbill

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Disconnect with lady when I left
« Reply #26 on: December 14, 2016, 01:10:51 PM »
I don't think the lack of email was a huge issue before a meaningful relationship has developed.  But, given posts in the other thread, I do not believe this woman is sincere.

I haven't been able to spend much time on the forum lately. I will have to
review JH's other threads when I get time.

I'm glad I couched my advice as general, since I don't know the full story.

Udachi!

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

 

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