Hello guys!

[Brasscasing]

Ok let's see... many things to address.

First, she never asked me to go to Russia again.
I suggested that first, and she responded that with "If you come here you can't stay with me... is that ok with you?"
To which I replied "Sure, but you're staying with ME right"
She said "Duh of course".
Then we discussed it for a bit more and she said the same thing I'm saying here: "Is it worth it spending money to be here, when we can use the same amount of money for me to go see you?"
Also mentioning here that she got a job basically to HELP PAY for the expenses of her coming. And by the way, she told me today she got fired because she was late. Poor girl lasted one week in the new job.

Now, the parents. Dad isn't worth mentioning because he never expressed anything in favor or against her coming. But mom, when I was there, was nice to me. It was her birthday and I gave her a present, we actually had a nice time there, the three of us.
My girl says her mom was trying to mess with our thing because mom is JEALOUS. I didn't notice this while there, but I have to trust what she says.

Now, the concern for her: She has two options, really... she can stay there and accept her life, or try to get out. She obviously chose option 2, and after that, she could've picked ANY guy for that. I met her originally through one of the less honest sites, so I'm sure if she wanted, she could talk to a number of other guys who would be ready to get her out of there and maybe even with a higher success chance than I can.
But no, she talked to ME. She chose ME. Came after ME. After such a long time. In my experience of over 20 years of dating, for a girl this hot, that's a lot.

How is this not a legit thing? I do really intend on her coming to study english. She can only gain from coming, in every possible way. I won't make her do anything she doesn't want to do, and if maybe we have a falling out or something, I would never throw her out or anything. This also won't be the first time I bring a girl from far away to stay at my place a while and see what happens. I've had it work before, and I've also had it NOT work. I'm still friends with every single girl to this day. And, on the day she comes, the school will ALREADY be paid for, so there's no risk there.

Sex slave? Nah. If the idea was to ONLY have sex, it'd be a LOT easier, cheaper and more convenient for me to just go on the adult escort websites, or even a brothel. Manchester is FULL of them.
Or, I could just go to bars here, use tinder, etc. Do the normal stuff.
No, I like this girl. She likes me. We talk on camera and we're excited to do this. So we are doing it.
Her being young is another advantage for her. If it doesn't go well she's got more time to start over.

Also, I agree with what Kyn said. Nothing good ever comes without any risk. In fact the riskier stuff are what always bring the best rewards. Just ask people who invested in Bitcoin back in 2009.

;-)

Ah. I took this  ..."She asked me if I wanted to see her in Russia again. It was my idea to instead get her to come here"...

As meaning something different to what you've related above (my bolded).

Brass

 

[BillyB]

Well, it was not portrayed like that on the docudrama I watched 'Hidden Lies'. The gay element was almost no mention off. They just were portrayed as two guys that hit it off, at best any connotation was only subtlely allured to. The docudrama made it clear that she was not keeping to her end of the bargain and while they initially got on she soon saw she could get better than him. There was no mention on there of the headbanging of previous wife. So from viewing docudrama that is how it was portrayed to me, whether the relaity was much different I do not know.

The docudrama was written by who? King killed his wife. Justifiable punishment if true she was after the green card? Once a woman learns about King, an abuser, loser and possessing the mind of a murderer, they are wise to leave. This mess happened in the Seattle area near me so I had to read plenty in the local paper. Article below sums it up pretty good.




http://www.network54.com/Search/view/84302/982278130/Only+in+America+%28part+four%29+---Murder+of+a+Russian+in+Seattle---?term=warehouse&page=2084

[Trenchcoat]

Ok, I'll look it up later in he morning Billy, many thanks for the link.

Rod, which agency site was the girl from, no let me guess was it Anastasia Date?

I think it might well be the case as said before that not many men visit. So despite being hot she may lack guys at all to move to and/or guys that she got on at all with. It sounds like there is a fair old age gap between the two of you? Possibly she may be into you to at least some extent. I think the main thing though with smoking hot women is that once in the UK they WILL be hit on by every guy going. As such they are a big risk particularly when taking them to a big city. If her going of with another guy in a very shot period doesn't bother you then fine but make no mistake she will have plenty of options.

The other thing is her ability to hold down a job, I get the impression it's something she struggles with. Possibly the aency job was just another mishap for her along the way, perhaps she us still doing it writing letters at night and being too tired for her other work in the morning who knows. I think losing her job makes her situation even more dire and she was not well placed to start with. I see what you are saying makes sense in terms of getting progress in on the relationship Rod as a real domestic relationship but I think that you are a bit up stream and are not likely to get there in one move.

[msmob]

I think the main thing though with smoking hot women is that once in the UK they WILL be hit on by every guy going. As such they are a big risk particularly when taking them to a big city. If her going of with another guy in a very shot period doesn't bother you then fine but make no mistake she will have plenty of options.

This has NOTHING to do with Rod's visa question - just our Trench's insecurities...  Hot women get hit on - anywhere..  If it makes you 'jealous' then you're the problem.

The other thing is her ability to hold down a job, I get the impression it's something she struggles with. Possibly the aency job was just another mishap for her along the way, perhaps she us still doing it writing letters at night and being too tired for her other work in the morning who knows. I think losing her job makes her situation even more dire and she was not well placed to start with. I see what you are saying makes sense in terms of getting progress in on the relationship Rod as a real domestic relationship but I think that you are a bit up stream and are not likely to get there in one move.

Trench, as you've not got any experience of UK/ EU Visa applications with a FSU partner - why is it you're now posting as if you're a 'relationship expert'  ?....

[Blighty]

... and the dad lives back in Moldova, where they're originally from.

Moldova was part of Romania until Stalin annexed it in 1945. If she has grandparents or great-grandparents who were Romanian citizens then she could claim Romanian/EU citizenship by descent. A summary of the rules is given at http://www.romaniandocuments.net/romanian-citizenship-by-descent and elsewhere on the internet.

Other FSU people can sometimes claim Polish and (Volga) German citizenship by descent.

Hope this helps.

[Trenchcoat]

This has NOTHING to do with Rod's visa question - just our Trench's insecurities...  Hot women get hit on - anywhere..  If it makes you 'jealous' then you're the problem.

Trench, as you've not got any experience of UK/ EU Visa applications with a FSU partner - why is it you're now posting as if you're a 'relationship expert'  ?....

Mobe, you're Irish so not a UK guy like me Anyway, we are basically saying the same thing you just have a need to always see your take on anything as superior. Anyway, with Rod's situation deteriorating by the day with his girl now out of work it seems like an almost impossible reach to get her in the country. I understand your reasoning Rod and although you can try whenever you wish I don't see that it's likely to work at this moment in time. It's why I asked about the personal side if we did not know this then we would be widely off target in the advice we give. I recommend to Rod that he do a long weekend. This is feasible from the UK, he will see her in person again where feelingS are better than felt than the other side of a computer screen. It shouldn't detract to much from his attempt to find work or if he has work will likely be able to get a day off for a hospital appointment or similar such excuse. I think it's the best option you have a the moment Rod.

[GM_Rod]

Moldova was part of Romania until Stalin annexed it in 1945. If she has grandparents or great-grandparents who were Romanian citizens then she could claim Romanian/EU citizenship by descent. A summary of the rules is given at http://www.romaniandocuments.net/romanian-citizenship-by-descent and elsewhere on the internet.

Other FSU people can sometimes claim Polish and (Volga) German citizenship by descent.

Hope this helps.

You might be on to something here!!! This would make every problem go away!!! Will look into it.

[GM_Rod]

Trench, my friend. You’re too insecure, man! You will definitely never get a girl like that. Definitely not a hot one. Come on!!!
I don’t care if 397 guys hit on her. It’s already happening over in russia, she tells me about it.
I am a better option, because she WANTS ME.
Get it?

[Sting23]

Trench, my friend. You’re too insecure, man! You will definitely never get a girl like that. Definitely not a hot one. Come on!!!
I don’t care if 397 guys hit on her. It’s already happening over in russia, she tells me about it.
I am a better option, because she WANTS ME.
Get it?

as you can probably tell Trench doesn't have much real firsthand experience with the ladies.  He's worried about them leaving before he can even find one! 

If you've ever had a girl call or message you daily, tell you she wants to talk to you and hear your voice the last thing you are thinking about is  will she leave you for another guy.  You are thinking how do I strengthen the bond and relationship and keep it going.

[GM_Rod]

as you can probably tell Trench doesn't have much real firsthand experience with the ladies.  He's worried about them leaving before he can even find one! 

If you've ever had a girl call or message you daily, tell you she wants to talk to you and hear your voice the last thing you are thinking about is  will she leave you for another guy.  You are thinking how do I strengthen the bond and relationship and keep it going.

We musicians understand one another.

[Trenchcoat]

Trench, my friend. You’re too insecure, man! You will definitely never get a girl like that. Definitely not a hot one. Come on!!!
I don’t care if 397 guys hit on her. It’s already happening over in russia, she tells me about it.
I am a better option, because she WANTS ME.
Get it?

She's decided that after a two year period of non communication and a visit where she only wanted to spend one of the three available you had with you and in which you were not even cosy enough to have a photo of her or the two of you together. So WHY is she now into you, perhaps there is a decent reason BUT is she really into an aging Musician as her prime concern. Remember unless she is completely stupid she is going to know contacting a guy back after all that and suggesting she come to you would look suspicious so naturally she would invite you to see her so she could convince you she has the big love for you.

The job going, you have no idea if this is just to place it all on you. You have no idea if she has lost her job or has a load of money in savings - to go her own way once in the door? Who knows, maybe, maybe not. Thing is unless you go out there you ate on the dark on any of this. She might be the real deal but there is a big age gap between the two of you - the local guys don't have the money, etc that UK guys do, she knows what she's worth

[Sting23]

She's decided that after a two year period of non communication and a visit where she only wanted to spend one of the three available you had with you and in which you were not even cosy enough to have a photo of her or the two of you together. So WHY is she now into you, perhaps there is a decent reason BUT is she really into an aging Musician as her prime concern.

I believe Rod is younger than you Trench and pretty sure not an "aging musician"...I don't recall him mentioning the age of his girl either.  So you really have no idea what their age gap is, nor is that even a big concern.

Again your lack of common sense is showing.  If a girl wanted to scam someone why would she wait 2 years to bother contacting him?

Perhaps you'd be better off focusing on finding your own girl.  I sense some jealously in your tone of voice.

[Jumper]

Sting,
I think Rod has a decent grasp on it, and it's likely she's
sincerely  interested.

That said:
Just for fun let's speculate that our boy trench posted the following scenario-

1.I met a girl 2 years ago thru an infamous pay per letter/pay chat agency .
2.she seemed genuinelyinterested the week I was there,
But ultimately we only saw each other briefly and not much materialized as she said her mother was jealous and took her passport etc.
(No agency girl has ever made excuse not to really see a guy before right?)
So we lost touch and went on with life.

3.she recently contacted me, a bbit out of the blue, about meeting again.maybe I could come visit.
Says she moved out from mothers place attending university.

4. I'm unable to visit her as I'm unemployed and have job interviews, or will start work soon and limited time off.

So I want to bring her on a tourist or student visa.
She's young,hot, no ties to russia.

5.I've been scammed before,so I know what that looks like, and this isn't it, she wants ME.


The forum would clue bat trenchie to death.
 

LOL

He would be told he better get to know her a bit first at minimum.

But the general message is different deoending on who posts it.
Thats interesting!


And look I'm not saying it's scam or an agency girl who just went thru her old contacts after something else dint work out, but to pretend its not one if the many possibilities is being naive as well.


Rod,  this is just goofing around , your visa stuff is pretty much answered.

I'm.just pointing out the mob mentality, would have trench hung out to dry , while you've gotten pretty much a free pass.

[Trenchcoat]

I believe Rod is younger than you Trench and pretty sure not an "aging musician"...I don't recall him mentioning the age of his girl either.  So you really have no idea what their age gap is, nor is that even a big concern.

Again your lack of common sense is showing.  If a girl wanted to scam someone why would she wait 2 years to bother contacting him?

Perhaps you'd be better off focusing on finding your own girl.  I sense some jealously in your tone of voice.

Rod mentioned she was young (very young) hot, etc - from other clues he has given such as stating he has 20 years of dating we can deduce that even if he started dating around the age of 15 he would be about 35. Odds are he would be early thirties at the youngest but most likely knocking on to 40 which is around my age.

I don't think she is a scammer, she could just be fed up off where she is lives, her life, etc Could be any number if things. She sounds like she is a nice girl but something tells me there might be more to this than meets the eye as it all sounds a bit strange.

Yes you are right on one thing though, I will be aiming to shortly take some time out as it's coming to the time when my own search needs to be put back in motion again

[Sting23]

Sting,
I think Rod has a decent grasp on it, and it's likely she's
sincerely  interested.

That said:
Just for fun let's speculate that our boy trench posted the following scenario-

Jumper, true.  that's probably because of Trench's history and previous interactions that would lead us to a different conclusion.

I don't know Rod's history but he seems like a well adjusted guy.  He's met this girl once already.  So he has a better idea if she's really into him or just using him.

We on a forum are not privy to any of that. 

There's always a chance it could be a "scam" but I don't really see her using him.  She suggested he come back to Russia.  The UK thing wasn't even an option until he told her he was there.

The relationship dynamic can always change.  Once you deal with enough women you get better at figuring out their true intentions.

[kynrazor]

I believe Rod is younger than you Trench and pretty sure not an "aging musician"...I don't recall him mentioning the age of his girl either.  So you really have no idea what their age gap is, nor is that even a big concern.

Again your lack of common sense is showing.  If a girl wanted to scam someone why would she wait 2 years to bother contacting him?

Perhaps you'd be better off focusing on finding your own girl.  I sense some jealously in your tone of voice.

Rod mentioned she was young (very young) hot, etc - from other clues he has given such as stating he has 20 years of dating we can deduce that even if he started dating around the age of 15 he would be about 35. Odds are he would be early thirties at the youngest but most likely knocking on to 40 which is around my age.

I don't think she is a scammer, she could just be fed up off where she is lives, her life, etc Could be any number if things. She sounds like she is a nice girl but something tells me there might be more to this than meets the eye as it all sounds a bit strange.

Yes you are right on one thing though, I will be aiming to shortly take some time out as it's coming to the time when my own search needs to be put back in motion again

Finding a day job when you're 36 and you've only played music for your entire life, when you're a foreigner in a new country with NO connections, can be a bit tricky, all right?

  It's already mentioned upthread by Rod that he is 36 years old. No guesswork needed.

[GM_Rod]

Yeah. Visa questions have been answered!

Now I'm just having fun here. But, keeping it going has proven worth it: The Moldova/Romania path seems PERFECT.

If we can pull it off and she becomes a Romanian citizen, we're home free! Visa becomes a non issue, as Romania is part of the EU, mission accomplished.

THIS would be a reason for me to go to her. Meet in Moscow, then go to Moldova see her grandparents and get her citizenship. We will see.
It would be worth it because in this situation, she could even come back with me already, provided her new passport is ready quick enough.

Fingers crossed!

[GM_Rod]

Speaking of fun:

[Trenchcoat]

Yeah. Visa questions have been answered!

Now I'm just having fun here. But, keeping it going has proven worth it: The Moldova/Romania path seems PERFECT.

If we can pull it off and she becomes a Romanian citizen, we're home free! Visa becomes a non issue, as Romania is part of the EU, mission accomplished.

THIS would be a reason for me to go to her. Meet in Moscow, then go to Moldova see her grandparents and get her citizenship. We will see.
It would be worth it because in this situation, she could even come back with me already, provided her new passport is ready quick enough.

Fingers crossed!

Well looks like I've trumped old Mobers , if I had not started to ask about the personal side of it all and hence learning about the Moldova Grandparents we would all now still be listening to Moby banging on about visa issues going around in circles. Fortunately for all our sanity that is no longer the case. So good one Rod, how old is the girl anyway?

[msmob]

Mobe, you're Irish so not a UK guy like me 

Countless thousands died over this - so much for your 'joke' .. My UK passport mos defo says I'm British..   

@Rod

Blighty might have come up trumps for you..

[Blighty]

@Rod

Just be cautious about Moldova as Russians are the second largest ethnic minority there ... there is the potential problem of her grandparents actually being ethnic Russians living in the breakaway Transnistria region. This conflict started in 1992 and it is a no-go area for foreigners.

Be very diplomatic with the girl over this, as my wife felt a little insulted when I asked this question ... to her Moldova is like a primitive village when compared to Ukraine!

[alex330]

my wife felt a little insulted when I asked this question ... to her Moldova is like a primitive village when compared to Ukraine!

Moldovans and Georgians are two nationalities that enter Ukraine to work. Generally low paying jobs and labor. They are generally looked down on and there are jokes made about them. It would be like the Mexicans here in the US. Not sure what a comparable group would be in the UK.

[LAman]

Moldovans and Georgians are two nationalities that enter Ukraine to work. Generally low paying jobs and labor. They are generally looked down on and there are jokes made about them. It would be like the Mexicans here in the US. Not sure what a comparable group would be in the UK.

The trenchcoat...ians

[Boethius]

Moldovans and Georgians are two nationalities that enter Ukraine to work. Generally low paying jobs and labor. They are generally looked down on and there are jokes made about them. It would be like the Mexicans here in the US. Not sure what a comparable group would be in the UK.

Probably regional.  In Bukovyna, for example, the border is porous. 

[LAman]

@Rod

Just be cautious about Moldova as Russians are the second largest ethnic minority there ... there is the potential problem of her grandparents actually being ethnic Russians living in the breakaway Transnistria region. This conflict started in 1992 and it is a no-go area for foreigners.

Be very diplomatic with the girl over this, as my wife felt a little insulted when I asked this question ... to her Moldova is like a primitive village when compared to Ukraine!

Really tricky to prove Romanian citizenship going back over 70 years. Blighty, as far as I understand, doesn't matter if ethnic Russians or not, it is question of Romanian citizenship or if taken with Russian takeover. It could also be an ancestor moving to Moldova area sometime in 20th century.