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Author Topic: What are the odds of success?  (Read 20024 times)

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Offline TagUrIt898

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What are the odds of success?
« on: April 23, 2015, 02:42:06 PM »
So this question more so pertains to some of the people who have been there done that.  If you're new like me, what's your take on it all.  I do not post very often, but I try to read as much as I can.  It seems the like idea of pursuing an FSUW is a failing venture with horrible odds of success.  I'd like to dive into why that is. I'm sure most have the best of intentions when seeking an FSUW, so why do have so many more horror stories as opposed to happy endings? (make any kind of pun there). Rookie talking here, but I think some guys don't do enough due diligence.  They fall for the a pretty photo and just simply don't use common sense.  Skype, Viber, Whatsapp all excellent ways to communicate. I know even with all that being said it doesn't gurantee success. I say ask the hard questions, don't interrogate your potential future gf/fiancé/bride, but don't be afraid to find out what you need to know. I know for me, if I want to know something I simply ask.

Offline Larry1

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2015, 03:07:29 PM »
It seems the like idea of pursuing an FSUW is a failing venture with horrible odds of success.  I'd like to dive into why that is...

Funny coincidence that you posed this question. I've planned with another member to post a Visio chart illustrating some of the fairly common ways these relationships fail.

There are all sorts of reasons for the failure of these relationships. Some of them are caused mainly by the guy. Some are caused mainly by the girl.  Some are caused by some mix.  And some relationships fail simply because an international relationship is typically hard to sustain.

I've seen relationships fail because there was too much time between trips. Contrary to the old saying, absence rarely makes the heart grow fonder. Just the opposite.  Usually long times between trips stems from a lack of time or money. It is essential that you have an abundance of both in this search.

Sometimes a girl's friends or family can cause damage to a relationship. If my father had strong feelings about a relationship in which I was involved I would not let those feelings influence me.  That's true for most of my friends as well.  But I don't think it's true for some FSUW.

I think I'll stop here for the present time, even though I've barely scratched the surface.

Edited to add something I hesitated to write before.  Now the male membership of RWD is overwhelmingly more handsome, financially well-off, erudite, and charming than the typical guy who conducts a FSUW search.  We are like the children of Lake Wobegon in that respect (all above average). Quite a few of the more typical guys, however, are light on these qualities, consequently they have more difficulty with their searches.



« Last Edit: April 23, 2015, 03:26:12 PM by Larry1 »

Offline BillyB

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #2 on: April 23, 2015, 04:54:04 PM »
It seems the like idea of pursuing an FSUW is a failing venture with horrible odds of success.



What? With men enjoying economic success in the West, those women should be jumping all over us. Agency owners say out of all the men writing women, only 5% get on a plane. Out of those getting on a plane, most men do not end up marrying the first woman they meet. Out of multiple visits and meetings, I'd say those that stayed in this for the long haul, 40% may get married. Some men get discouraged after the first blown meeting or scam and quit. Others are financially restricted to give this one shot. I've seen videos of men going on agency tours. Out of 20 men who are introduced to 100+ women, 2-3 may end up engaged and 1-2 make it to marriage. That's pretty sorry odds considering there are tons of gold diggers at those agency tours. Many of the blown meetings are the men's fault. They misrepresent themselves or give bad vibes. Lots of FSU women, even the insincere ones, do want to marry for love and unless there is some feelings, there will be no marriage.


There is good news though. Any man can have 100% chance of success. Getting married doesn't necessarily translate to success. Being happy is and a guy can be successful as a single man or a married man. I wrote a thread years ago of my real time dating experiences. I already knew I was going to be successful from the beginning to the end. I had a healthy dating experience and ended up with a FSU woman that amazes people. Long thread but if you got time to read it, you'll either like it or you'll want to kill me.


http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=11638.0


Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Chicagoguy

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #3 on: April 23, 2015, 05:21:24 PM »
Best if you have money and time. More visits = more success.

Offline Steamer

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #4 on: April 23, 2015, 06:26:26 PM »
It seems the like idea of pursuing an FSUW is a failing venture with horrible odds of success.
I'm sure most have the best of intentions when seeking an FSUW, so why do have so many more horror stories as opposed to happy endings?
Rookie talking here, but I think some guys don't do enough due diligence.  They fall for the a pretty photo and just simply don't use common sense.


Success depends a lot on how committed BOTH parties are to making the marriage work. Understanding that there WILL be problems and arguments but not trying to force your will on the other person and stay willing to work through these situations. Neither love nor lust or self delusion will keep you together, only commitment.
Life ain't nothing but a poker game
And no two hands are quite the same
But I never saw a winner that didn't bet

Offline southernX

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #5 on: April 23, 2015, 07:22:07 PM »


Quote
What are the odds of success?

 the age old question really ,

imo , the odds are what you make them ,

COMMITMENT AND HONESTY FIRST
 is such an adventure for you ?? can you commit to do it , can you afford it ?  not enough blokes drill down on that  imo
,
do your research  on the whole process , on your self , understanding yourself is a big key in finding what you are needing/wanting in a marriage ,

then define what/who you should be looking for

also define what you are not looking for ,

once you have set a rought plan , commit to it , and stick to it , dont be sidetracked too far outside it ,

be realistic with the age gaps , be realsitic in your perceptions and understanding of fsu women and supposed differences , trust your feelings &  invest time into the process

commitment and being honest with yourself & your partner  will increase the odds with the above to success ,

there are lots of variances ,each man is his own voyager  but it is a good  general guide  of increasing your odds ime

SX
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Offline alex330

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #6 on: April 23, 2015, 07:51:20 PM »
There are a million and one ways for these relationships to fail. But if you can pull it off it will be the best thing that ever happened to you.

Offline Boethius

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #7 on: April 23, 2015, 08:08:22 PM »
Quote
it will be the best thing that ever happened to you.


I think that is the case for every successful relationship.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline TomT

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2015, 09:08:01 PM »
Tag,


A person in the industry told me that his market research indicated that the chances of making it as far as a visa are much less than 1%. Something to ponder is that those few who have the tenacity to see this process through to fruition could succeed anywhere.

Offline BillyB

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #9 on: April 23, 2015, 09:23:06 PM »
A person in the industry told me that his market research indicated that the chances of making it as far as a visa are much less than 1%.



I believe it. Those who think with their big heads and fly over there can increase their odds.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Ed S.

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #10 on: April 23, 2015, 09:32:12 PM »
Tag,


A person in the industry told me that his market research indicated that the chances of making it as far as a visa are much less than 1%. Something to ponder is that those few who have the tenacity to see this process through to fruition could succeed anywhere.

Well people say that only about 3% actually make it so far as to get on a plane and meet in person, so that's not outlandish at all.

Offline Noch1

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #11 on: April 24, 2015, 03:03:31 AM »
Success relies on many factors, first is having the time and money to
do this. Second for many guys his staying in their own league.
One needs to take a long hard look in the mirror.
You will make mistakes, how you deal with those and move forward are
also key. The attitude you have in life and this adventure has a huge impact
on your success.
Common sense, Is not so common!

Offline GregfromGa

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #12 on: April 24, 2015, 05:48:55 AM »
I would say the odds are somewhere in between slim and none. That's just my humble opinion since taking my first trip in 2001. Of course there are exceptions. I mean the lottery has a winner most weeks. I think you have to get very lucky. The guys I know that made it work were lucky but mostly very patient.

Offline HoundDaddyLee

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #13 on: April 24, 2015, 07:58:04 AM »
Hi Tag,


If you even look at how many dates you go on locally, or rather how many different women you date, before finding the one, you can see why the percentages are so low. Time, distance and money are huge factors. Of those I think distance is the biggest. Even with daily Skype calls, you are not there to comfort or provide "moral support". She is not here for the same.


Larry mentions the charting concept above. I am the other member he alluded too. We will be putting this together over the next few months. It will be fun project. There is not a one true algorithm for doing this, just like there isn't one for dating women in your own city or town. There are diamonds and duds both locally and internationally. My advice is to manage expectations and keep your head in the game (the big one :) ). Don't do anything stupid and heed any red flags. Success is possible but the chances of finding it on your first at bat are very small.


Good luck on your trip and have fun. It will be an adventure.


HDL

Offline Muzh

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #14 on: April 24, 2015, 08:20:23 AM »

What? With men enjoying economic success in the West, those women should be jumping all over us. Agency owners say out of all the men writing women, only 5% get on a plane. Out of those getting on a plane, most men do not end up marrying the first woman they meet. Out of multiple visits and meetings, I'd say those that stayed in this for the long haul, 40% may get married. Some men get discouraged after the first blown meeting or scam and quit. Others are financially restricted to give this one shot. I've seen videos of men going on agency tours. Out of 20 men who are introduced to 100+ women, 2-3 may end up engaged and 1-2 make it to marriage. That's pretty sorry odds considering there are tons of gold diggers at those agency tours. Many of the blown meetings are the men's fault. They misrepresent themselves or give bad vibes. Lots of FSU women, even the insincere ones, do want to marry for love and unless there is some feelings, there will be no marriage.


There is good news though. Any man can have 100% chance of success. Getting married doesn't necessarily translate to success. Being happy is and a guy can be successful as a single man or a married man. I wrote a thread years ago of my real time dating experiences. I already knew I was going to be successful from the beginning to the end. I had a healthy dating experience and ended up with a FSU woman that amazes people. Long thread but if you got time to read it, you'll either like it or you'll want to kill me.


http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=11638.0


Billy, in all fairness, I read all the comments before I reply to this.


Notice the bold statements.


If I heard you correctly, if you are loaded you can get any woman in the FSU. Well, duh! If you are loaded, you can get any woman anywhere. Now, if you are talking about economic disparity between western men and FSU ladies, well, that is the principle of this journey for many. Isn't it?


Tag, if you go out there thinking of this as a business transaction, then you will find a business partner. Keep in mind that businesses are subjected to hostile takeovers if you do not keep a good record.


Now, there are some comments that point to the essence of a long-term relationship, and that is commitment.


Commitment from both. There are many stories here of women who were non-committal, just biding their time to get their green card.


There are other stories where the green cad was no an issue, but still got divorced. And this was the result of no commitment to a relationship. Who's to blame? Many will tell you it was the wench's fault. But that is their side of the story. Sometimes they are right and sometimes the story is not complete. What does this have to do with you? Nothing. Just a warning to take stories with a grain of salt.


There are members who risk the odds by going with:
a) big age gap
b) big disparity in looks
c) big disparity in attitude


There could be more but these are the usual suspects. Some have made it and are around to talk about it. Others, well, they went down in flames.


From me to you, the burden is 100% in you. You will choose, you will take care of an adult totally dependent on you, and you will have to learn another culture while teaching her a different culture. Basically, it is like having an instant family.


Are you open (minded) to it?
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline ML

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #15 on: April 24, 2015, 08:24:45 AM »
I got on a plane and went 100% of the time that I said I would.

I never doubted that I would be 100% successful in finding whatever I wanted.

I could have married 50+ FSUW.

Going and getting married is not that hard at all.
However, the hap-hazzard way that most guys here go about it is the real reason for lack of success.

But finding a very good woman is always difficult anywhere, anytime.

And the same applies from the woman's standpoint.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Online Faux Pas

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #16 on: April 24, 2015, 08:46:15 AM »
Well let's look at a cold hard truth and gauge from that. A large percentage of the men in this endeavor in their own country, couldn't get laid or a date in a women's prison with a fist full of pardons. Many of those that could do not have the ability to sustain a relationship for substantial length of time. My guess and it's only a guess, that would cover about half of the men that look East. The fact that they can get a date and likely laid with a woman infinitely more beautiful than they could ever dream of at home, draws those chaps in like a moth to the flame. These men are damaged goods.

Conversely, somewhere IMHO of about half of the women that would marry a man and move abroad are damaged goods as well. When you look at all those pretty faces on the website you should give pause that at least half of them are crazier and more vicious than the craziest most vicious woman you've ever known at home. But how can that be with so many beautiful sweet women?

The problem is, no matter which half you fall into, whether it's you or the woman you've eyed, it's a crap shoot and 50/50 for you both. When you do the simple math deduction of your 50/50 and her 50/50 that's a 1-3 chance that neither of you are of the damaged goods variety. Once an initial mutual attraction has been achieved, your economic advantage and her attractiveness tends to work as a glue to keep the two of you together regardless of where either/both of you fall in the damaged goods category. If by chance you are both not damaged goods, you do fall in love, get married looking for happily ever after then, you'll fall into one of two "married" categories and those being, the 50% of those that make it or the 50% of those that don't.

There is no advantage going to the FSU but, it is one hellva ride. If you have the time and the resources chances are, you won't regret it. If you don't have the time and resources, it could very well be the best thing you've ever done or the beginning of your demise.

Come to think of it, that's about the same odds of finding a good match at home. Is going to the FSU an advantage? My answer is no


Offline cc3

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #17 on: April 24, 2015, 11:02:48 AM »

There is no advantage going to the FSU but, it is one hellva ride. If you have the time and the resources chances are, you won't regret it. If you don't have the time and resources, it could very well be the best thing you've ever done or the beginning of your demise.

Come to think of it, that's about the same odds of finding a good match at home. Is going to the FSU an advantage? My answer is no

Being early retired (by government mandate) from my airline piloting career, I had the time (more important than the resources, I believe, as long as you're at least middle class and independent economically) to search eastern Europe and the FSU for six years. Finally, on fourth WOVO, I met and became engaged to the best woman I have ever known in my entire dating (extensive) and marital (varied) experience. I now live in L'viv with her, enjoying every moment of our lives together.

Going to the FSU was definitely worthwhile for me and my fiancee (marriage to be accomplished as soon as her internally displaced refugee status is transformed into L'viv registrated status).


Offline jone

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #18 on: April 24, 2015, 12:27:14 PM »
After reading this thread, I was intrigued by some of the comments.

Like many here, I began my search because of the fancy advertising on ADate.  This is a blessing.  It is also a curse.

It is a blessing because men are now aware of the possibility of traveling to the FSU to find a woman.  It is a curse because over 80% of the women on the PPL or PPC sites are there to make a paycheck.  (There are ways to get around this, mind you.)

So for many men, the only experience that they have ever known with the FSU is being scammed out of money on some online site.

Many who have the resources and actually make the trip wind up going over and are wrung out by some pro-dater.

Reading this forum for the past three years I have gained a true appreciation for the men who have thought with their big heads and had reasonable expectations for who they might wind up with.  These men are likely to eventually find a woman in the FSU.

So, figuring in that the knowledge gained on a forum like this is assisting the man, and that he has the resources of time and money to make the trip, then I would say that the chances are 1 out of 3 that he will succeed.

Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline Noch1

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #19 on: April 24, 2015, 12:32:11 PM »
Do you need to be lucky, many think so.
But I have learned the harder I work, the luckier I am:)
Odds, yes they exist as they do with most things.
Its what you do and how to increase those odds in your favour.
You have to be good at this where you live to have any chance in the FSU.
Play inside your abilities. Do the work, learn from your mistakes.

One thing I did, every trip was a holiday, how could it be bad.
If the women didn't work out, I enjoyed the visit as I would on any holiday.
Learned a bit more for my next holiday. I made some friends along the way.
Which in the end lead me, to meeting my now wife:)
I never met her on a dating site, I was introduced to her.
Common sense, Is not so common!

Online Faux Pas

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #20 on: April 24, 2015, 01:58:33 PM »
Being early retired (by government mandate) from my airline piloting career, I had the time (more important than the resources, I believe, as long as you're at least middle class and independent economically) to search eastern Europe and the FSU for six years. Finally, on fourth WOVO, I met and became engaged to the best woman I have ever known in my entire dating (extensive) and marital (varied) experience. I now live in L'viv with her, enjoying every moment of our lives together.

Going to the FSU was definitely worthwhile for me and my fiancee (marriage to be accomplished as soon as her internally displaced refugee status is transformed into L'viv registrated status).

I was at a point in my life where I had the resources and I had 'enough' time but I still don't think I was looking for a wife. No doubt I was looking for an interesting woman. Not that I haven't known many in the past and knew some at the time. I've never been able to pinpoint "why" I even entertained the idea.

However, I am very glad I did and I have not had one regret in doing so, ever. If she cleaned me out and left me tomorrow, that feeling would not change. We truly love each other or I suppose what counts the most is, I believe it. She is/was just too wonderful of a person and a woman to pass up


Offline Boethius

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #21 on: April 24, 2015, 07:26:27 PM »
It depends on what "success" means.  Any schmo can go to the FSU and find a wife.  Building a family together, staying together for decades, and having true intimacy is my idea of success.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline Ade

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #22 on: April 24, 2015, 10:03:49 PM »
So this question more so pertains to some of the people who have been there done that.  If you're new like me, what's your take on it all.  I do not post very often, but I try to read as much as I can.  It seems the like idea of pursuing an FSUW is a failing venture with horrible odds of success.  I'd like to dive into why that is. I'm sure most have the best of intentions when seeking an FSUW, so why do have so many more horror stories as opposed to happy endings? (make any kind of pun there). Rookie talking here, but I think some guys don't do enough due diligence.  They fall for the a pretty photo and just simply don't use common sense.  Skype, Viber, Whatsapp all excellent ways to communicate. I know even with all that being said it doesn't gurantee success. I say ask the hard questions, don't interrogate your potential future gf/fiancé/bride, but don't be afraid to find out what you need to know. I know for me, if I want to know something I simply ask.


The odds are long at best. Why? Well, just think about domestic dating and marriage and all the pitfalls of those tricky little endeavors that make them fail so often. And people do fail in their own country a lot even with a shared first language, shared culture, shared frames of reference... Now, when dating abroad add to that the incredibly short dating times and quick marriages forced by circumstance ( particularly in countries like the US), lack of a shared native language and culture among other things and it's no wonder that few get past the first year.

Offline PBRstreetg

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« Reply #23 on: April 25, 2015, 01:10:08 AM »

Success depends a lot on how committed BOTH parties are to making the marriage work. Understanding that there WILL be problems and arguments but not trying to force your will on the other person and stay willing to work through these situations. Neither love nor lust or self delusion will keep you together, only commitment.

+1
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Offline Bee Farmer

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What are the odds of success?
« Reply #24 on: April 25, 2015, 01:44:50 PM »
I read an article once that suggested that of the men and women looking at international marriages, 70% of the men, and 30% of the women have some sort of mental problems or personality disorders.  That should give folks an indication of some of the risks involved.  Faux Pas was right - there are a lot of damaged goods on both sides.

Another thing to think about is that there is limited face time.  Folks can put on a good behavior for a short time, but their true colors eventually show.  It's easy to overlook warning signs because you have to invest more into an international relationship than taking a local girl out to eat.  You want it to work, so you look the other way sometimes.

And what about drug or alcohol or spousal abuse?  It's hard to see these things on Skype, but they do come out once you are living together.

I don't think a lot of guys look at the financial costs ahead of time.   My research indicated that a guy should have $20,000 available BEFORE he began looking.  (For American guys.  European costs may be much less.)  By the time he makes a few trips to the FSU, and the costs of bringing a girl here and getting her situated, it will have cost him $20K.  How many guys are prepared for the economic realities?  How understanding do you think a FSU girl will be if you put that $20K on credit cards that you have to pay back once she is here...at the same time she is expecting you to send money to help support her family back home?

Most young guys don't have the courage or finances to go looking for a FSU girl.  The guys are typically 50+.  There are a lot more young FSU girls looking for an international husband.   So this just adds to the minefield.  Even if a guy isn't really looking for a young girl, his choices may be limited if he looks for FSU women his age.

It's amazing that any of the relationships work out.

 

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