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Author Topic: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff  (Read 5788 times)

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Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #100 on: April 26, 2018, 10:14:28 AM »
The  point of FB / VK is 'lost' on me and even single folk who want to be contacted by / contact FRIENDS.. That's people one really knows / knew ?

Personally speakin,g many ladies I know on VK, Odnoklassniki, etc have friend sonly profiles, now - such is the volume of clueless w.guys who think registering a profile will get them dates ?;)

I think it depends on the mentality of the person. I only use FB for family and on that it can be occasionally handy when other forms of communication become difficult or to show members of a family something all at once. Beyond that I rarely go on there, I have no time for labour intensively constantly clicking 'like' buttons and documentating my life photo by photo. Nor do I have any interest in airing any dirty washing to those that know me or have people request friendship just to be nosy or on seeing my life take issue with it or get jealous. Believe me, you take a holiday somewhere nice, stick up a pic of you enjoying yourself and that pic thend gets interpreted different ways, some people read too much into ithe and think you are libing the high life and get jealous.

Others on the other hand love connecting with all sorts of new people on there even if they start out as complete strangers. Problem for them I think is that not all people have the same outlook like those above. Some are just interested in family, freinds and aquaintances, others like said just nosy or bored, or get jealous, or out for a laugh, etc.

On VK U tend to find some are open abut connecting with strangers and do so, others give the ? 'Do I know you' type of response - they basically are closed to connecting with strangers on there or just don't fancy you. I'm guessing some guys they will give a different response to than others depending on of they fancy a guy or why they think he is contacting them. I think VK is a not as straight forward as dating sites but potentially may drum up better leads in the longer run.

Offline krimster2

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Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #101 on: April 26, 2018, 11:05:05 AM »
Trench,
use your interests or hobbies to help you meet people!
what potential shared interest could there be that you have a lot of knowledge about?
local history?  old MG cars?  surely there’s something?
and if there isn't, then this is the first thing you should do is to get some kind of "interest"
because this will make YOU interesting to the people with this interest!
see how that works!!
start there...
where do people with this interest go?
go there, some will be women....

alright Trench, I'm pointing you "right"
you need to go out and practice...






Offline JayH

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Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #102 on: April 26, 2018, 11:45:44 AM »
The  point of FB / VK is 'lost' on me and even single folk who want to be contacted by / contact FRIENDS.. That's people one really knows / knew ?

Personally speakin,g many ladies I know on VK, Odnoklassniki, etc have friend sonly profiles, now - such is the volume of clueless w.guys who think registering a profile will get them dates ?;)

I will say this again --VK & Ordnoklassniki are NOT dating sites -just like RWD is not.
Making unwanted contact  is a no no no.
Those who keep advocating contacting girls that way are giving clueless advice .
Basically --it is intrusive --for all the same reasons a girl in a smaller city will not be parading some unknown western guy around guy town .

So please --those that have kept pushing it -please stop.
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #103 on: April 26, 2018, 12:17:58 PM »
Basically --it is intrusive --for all the same reasons a girl in a smaller city will not be parading some unknown western guy around guy town .

A girl wants to date a western guy but he is 'intruding' in her life if he wants to visit her home town?

Would sound to me like the girl is either unrealistic in what a relationship entails or she doesn't think that much of the guy.

Perhaps VK like meeting a girl in her home town some girls don't mind at all and some do. Might also depend on how she feels about the guy as much as her personality. If she feels that she may be hit on a guy who has made a request then she may be open to accepting the request than she might otherwise be is my thought on it.

Offline krimster2

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Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #104 on: April 26, 2018, 12:34:34 PM »
every hunter knows it's easier to have the prey come to you
than for you to go and track and stalk the prey
so tell me guys, what "lure" works for the ladies...
how do YOU "lure" them in

this is part one
the second part is, "where de ladies be at"?

so ya' take these two things combine em' and presto!!!

ya' still not followin' me?

let's say you're into art (obviously an interest we all share, right?)
so you dress like you're straight out of GQ and you spend saturdays at the local art museum
and you learn how to act and talk with a high degree of sophistication
you run this flag up the flag pole - and you look around and see if anyone's saluting
OK?

justa a simple hypothetical every variable can be substituted with anything

you know who taught me this - birds!

just watch what a male bird does, all he's tryin to do is to get the female's attention...
so fellas, whadda' ya think YOU gotta do to get the females attention?

and if you say" fluff up your tail feathers and walk around in a circle" you're wrong, but that's kinda what most of you are doing...

OK, dang it, since most of you REALLY aren't going to get this, and I was really hoping you'd figure out for yourselves, which would make it easier for you to accept

'ya really want to make the female birds notice 'ya
besides having some "flash"
be a "kind, sympatheic, caring person, a friend"
how hard is it for you to be that to someone?
 
now do you understand...


Offline Sting23

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Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #105 on: April 26, 2018, 04:36:58 PM »


On VK U tend to find some are open abut connecting with strangers and do so, others give the ? 'Do I know you' type of response - they basically are closed to connecting with strangers on there or just don't fancy you. I'm guessing some guys they will give a different response to than others depending on of they fancy a guy or why they think he is contacting them. I think VK is a not as straight forward as dating sites but potentially may drum up better leads in the longer run.

Says the guy who started a thread on if he should make a VK profile not too long ago... 

Offline Sting23

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Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #106 on: April 26, 2018, 04:46:07 PM »
krimster, your analogies go over his head...he can't gleam the nuggets of wisdom from it.

Offline Sting23

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Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #107 on: April 26, 2018, 04:47:24 PM »
his flag pole is probably pointing upside down if you catch my drift...

Offline Jumper

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Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #108 on: May 18, 2018, 10:44:56 PM »
The  point of FB / VK is 'lost' on me and even single folk who want to be contacted by / contact FRIENDS.. That's people one really knows / knew ?

Personally speaking, many ladies I know on VK, Odnoklassniki, etc have friends only profiles, now - such is the volume of clueless w.guys who think registering a profile will get them dates ?;)

You know I don't advocate either as dating sites,they are far surpassed by other sites more geared towards that. I'v already stated that.
But they are social media sites and just because some men or women don't want contact from anyone they do not already know personally, the whole premise would not be even remotely as popular as it is,  if the majority did not want others to see,notice,read, and indeed  interact with them.

Try posting in a  forum where noone ever replies and see how long the site lasts.

You and jay  can have your old guys opinion about it, I'm old too.
But to think millions of dates havnt sprung out of interaction on those sites,  because you know quite a few  people who don't enjoy being contacted ,hide their profiles etc , is a tad funny as well.


Intrusive?
Dear Lord.lol
What our society has become. I do so hope those people find their safe places.!

If a woman is at a singles bar and is approached ,its intrusive to some degree even if she was there to be approached. !

So what?

If she puts a profile on a world wide website designated solely to interact with ,people ,
well let's say world wide..
 its intrusive to be contacted by anyone ?
How burdensome it most be to just not reply ,or delete a message.
The crosses we all must bear!

I mean sharing with family and friends only is not so very difficult is it now? I'm quite sure they can manage.


If you truly believe social media internet sites,of all things, would function viably solely off people only   interacting  with he circle of people they already know, then I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.
Yes that's a big part of the sites anymore,  and I agree they arnt dating sites.
But they function because many people do want to interact with people they do not know yet.and not only  online interaction , people date off them daily.
I'll repeat I'm not advocating them as a great place to get a date,but plenty of single people do date from there,  despite your ,and *many womens* misgivings.

But just think if we only interacted here with people we knew in person.And while certainly  no dating site,how many people have met and  dated from here? Certainly a few.

I'd cast as wide a new as possible if I were TC.
I'd use the good dating sites, as you e recommended, and I'd use viber and Skype  to communicate and sort things out.
I'd be gasp* ! intrusive* and just  talk to strangers at the market, on the train,at the bus stop , and  yes even on social media.

No I wouldn't doggedly pursue strangers on fb or vk.. thats silly ,we agree on that point.
.But I sure would have a fb, and have interests in russian language groups, and locations, etc, etc etc.
and I sure wouldnt turn down friend requests from FSU women from such groups , or other  friends circle of contacts.
I used to get them,and .often, and no not all were scammers.very very few were.
one very beautiful and intelligent fsu woman in particular lived somewhat near me at the time,  which was cool ,back in Russia at this time, and yet still a couple guys from here have met her in person there. I met and dated several fsu women from the USA, who contacted me on fb or vk   either out of the blue ,or thru a wide circle of online aquantences. To completely ignore it just limits things.


He needs as much luck and help as he can generate,and mostly a stronger sense of empathy and more,more ,and a I repeat more interaction of almost any kind with people he doesnt already know.

Just one random opinion though,
 from someone that does wish the best of luck  for him.
.

Offline JayH

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Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #109 on: May 18, 2018, 11:06:01 PM »
AJ -- without trying to argue every point ---  if a guy is in 20's and similar age to a girl --  I  can see how that can work ( maybe !)
But is a guy is closer to twice a girls age -- reference my previous comments.

There are no hard and fast rules to any of this -- but having some sensitivity and empathy for others is a decent starting point.

The  issue is about appropriate attention in the appropriate place  -- because a girl puts a profile on a dating site does not mean it is appropriate for a guy to show up on her doorstep or at her  work ie in an inappropriate part of her life .
I would never consider doing that at home and to me - I can only see it the same anywhere.

Additionally --I have heard many horror stories from girls about unwanted attention and guys that disrupt lives. One situation where the girls family and friends were threatened by an Italian guy -- and I mean serious threats .
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline Jumper

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Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #110 on: May 18, 2018, 11:41:57 PM »
Sure, it's all about context, we agree.

.

 

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