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Author Topic: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference  (Read 2391 times)

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Offline Anotherkiwi

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Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« on: April 24, 2018, 08:51:13 PM »
The received wisdom in life in general is that the best fit for a romance is where the couple are of a similar age (i.e. no more than about two or three years difference).  This is engrained into everyone as they grow up, and it's also common-sense, simply because you will have far more in common with someone who is experiencing the various stages of life at roughly the same time as yourself.

Although there is very sound reasoning behind this state of affairs, for some reason this all goes by the board when men are lured (for want of a better word  :D) into a possible relationship with someone from the Former Soviet Union.  Many are seduced, or hypnotised, by the flashy ads from companies such as AnastasiaDate, insisting that there are many, MANY FSU women who will happily get married to someone who is 20, 30 or more years older than themselves.  They will even show you examples of this!  (And, yes, we have instances amongst our members here where this has happened, and the couples are blissfully happy, so we know that it IS possible).  And I have personal knowledge of such couples, one pair being amongst my oldest friends.

BUT...such examples are very rare, and have pretty much nothing to do with national origin.  And it does occur in reverse, too - the obvious flag-bearers for this are France's President (age 40) and his wife (age 65).  You will find the same percentages of age gap relationships in many cultures - not just those with Western (mainly from the USA) men and FSU women.  Here's the conclusions of a thought-provoking academic study of the subject.

http://theconversation.com/mind-the-gap-does-age-difference-in-relationships-matter-94132

So, yes, age gap relationships do work - but they need a hell of a lot of work along the way.  If you can get to the stage of a relationship where you can truly say that "age is just a number," because everything else works, then you've pretty much won the battle.

Disclaimer - I'm not advocating one way or the other.  My ex-wife and I were only a few weeks apart in age, and I've had subsequent girlfriends who were the same age, 10 years younger and 20 years younger than me.  None of those latter relationships ended BECAUSE of the age gap - but I would certainly be a bit warier before getting into another relationship which had that much disparity.

Online krimster2

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2018, 09:18:29 PM »
15 yr age difference w/ my wife and I'm not French!!!
we've been married going on 19 yr
chronological age not important to some people
emotional age matters though!
and a lot of times opposites attract...
stable combinations can be more than just 2 people being the same...

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2018, 08:18:45 AM »
Age difference expressed as a percentage is probably more meaningful. I was 23 when I met a 16 y.o. whom later I married - and subsequently divorced - so she was 30+% younger than me, culturally a generation apart: she could not dance the rock'n'roll having grown up with the twist and shake :( - not the only reason why our marriage failed, though ;D.
Milan's "Duomo"

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2018, 09:02:24 AM »
Yeah, I like the % idea!  Eg  back when I  was 50 yo my girlfriend  was 25 that = 50% of my age. I used to tell her that she was closing the gap everyday and that when I reach 100yo she will be at 75% ! ! ! ! !  :devil:
« Last Edit: April 25, 2018, 10:09:18 AM by JayH »
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #4 on: April 25, 2018, 09:04:25 AM »
Age difference expressed as a percentage is probably more meaningful. I was 23 when I met a 16 y.o. whom later I married - and subsequently divorced - so she was 30+% younger than me, culturally a generation apart: she could not dance the rock'n'roll having grown up with the twist and shake :( - not the only reason why our marriage failed, though ;D.

You could have met in the middle..... shake, rattle and roll !!!!
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #5 on: April 25, 2018, 09:11:20 AM »
"I was 23 when I met a 16 y.o. "

oh my!
I have a 16 yr old daughter who is a VERY spoiled teenage girl
even though she is a beautiful tall blond/blue eyed girl
you'd have to be CRAZY to want to marry someone like her!
I have an image of your 16 yr old ex-wife as a hard working farm girl from near Naples who wanted to get away from her parents...
if I didn't have a 16 yr old daughter, I'd tell you how jealous I was, but that'd make me sound a little creepy
like I watch my daughter's friends when they come over to play in the pool...

Online krimster2

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #6 on: April 25, 2018, 09:23:34 AM »
one of the first pioneers of the FSU MOB thang was a guy named "Art" a short, balding 60+ yr old retired accountant who married a 28 yr old redhead
I met him and his wife a few times when I lived in Sevastopol...
they lived happily ever after
all things are possible...

Offline ML

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #7 on: April 25, 2018, 10:24:23 AM »
one of the first pioneers of the FSU MOB thang was a guy named "Art" a short, balding 60+ yr old retired accountant who married a 28 yr old redhead
I met him and his wife a few times when I lived in Sevastopol...
they lived happily ever after
all things are possible...

Art was not that short, and he was a retired airline pilot.
Wife produced twin daughters.
I still like Ike.

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #8 on: April 25, 2018, 11:42:28 AM »
it's what HE told people, his wife told me he was an accountant...
believe who you want, I chose to believe her...
yes, I saw his twin girls in person...
been a guest in his home...
him in mine...

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #9 on: April 25, 2018, 12:12:47 PM »
I have an image of your 16 yr old ex-wife as a hard working farm girl from near Naples who wanted to get away from her parents...
Not quite ;)
Milan's "Duomo"

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #10 on: April 25, 2018, 12:20:02 PM »
You could have met in the middle..... shake, rattle and roll !!!!


Although it sounds 2/4, it's really a 4/4 rhythm, and she could not manage the double step before the main beat 8).
Milan's "Duomo"

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #11 on: April 25, 2018, 12:28:38 PM »
she is gorgeous!!!!
and ITALIAN!!!!
and looks like she knows how to cook!!!

WOW!!!

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #12 on: April 25, 2018, 06:58:43 PM »
she is gorgeous!!!! and ITALIAN!!!! and looks like she knows how to cook!!! WOW!!!
Actually, although her parents were Northern Italians, her paternal grandfather was Sicilian - a Sinatra, distantly related to Frank. However, her household cooking was very uninspiring - I ate there on weekends for some 5 years while engaged - so I had to have her learn proper cooking from my mother, and she eventually learnt it well ;).

Her grandpa was quite a character, a former salesman of Singer sewing machines in Trento where he married a local girl, and betrayed her on their honeymoon train trip to Sicily :D. When I got to know him, he insisted in having me read his typewritten tragedies - gory, dramatic love affairs in the style of Mascagni's Cavalleria Rusticana - which he submitted regularly to our national broadcasting company in the hope of their becoming TV tragedies broadcast nationally - only to receive polite refusals ;D.
Milan's "Duomo"

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #13 on: April 25, 2018, 07:14:25 PM »
"Actually, although her parents were Northern Italians, her paternal grandfather was Sicilian"

she looks like a lot of the women i saw in Milano, more German than classic Italian looking
gorgeous, gorgeous, oh my, beautiful, young women stunningly dressed
so naturally feminine
la dolce vita

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #14 on: April 25, 2018, 07:30:09 PM »
Up to the 1960s, most Northern Italian girls were blondish-haired/bue-green eyed. Later, the immigration of Southerners to work in our booming factories - and their higher fertility ;D - changed that.

As regards stylish dressing, I found it more abundant for instance in Rome's metro than in Milan's, probably because there is Italy's movie/TV centre and that fosters more hopes of attracting the attention of producers/directors than here :D.

On the other hand, there are examples of stunning blondes in our South too, thanks to their Norman heritage.

« Last Edit: April 26, 2018, 07:37:26 AM by SANDRO43 »
Milan's "Duomo"

Offline deccie

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #15 on: April 25, 2018, 11:33:04 PM »
15 yr age difference w/ my wife and I'm not French!!!
we've been married going on 19 yr
chronological age not important to some people
emotional age matters though!
and a lot of times opposites attract...
stable combinations can be more than just 2 people being the same...
Age gaps may not be an immediate or  even a mid term issue but I always wonder how such couples with a very large gap age together. What is life going to be like for your wife when you hit 80+?

Offline I/O

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #16 on: April 26, 2018, 03:52:17 AM »
What is life going to be like for your wife when you hit 80+?
Elsewhere in a word...

Offline Boomstick77

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #17 on: April 26, 2018, 07:55:02 AM »
I think if you have your sh*t together age has no boundaries. Maturity is the real death sentence. I seen this one guy they call reviewbrah on YouTube who reviews fast food and looks like a red headed lesbian from the 1800ís and his main hook is wearing those mafia style suits from another era but when he opens his mouth I think what is so popular about this fool. He acts like heís 60 years old but most likely 18. Iím sure he realized that heís a virgin for life because with a personality like that you know heís not the life of the party and has no skills for picking up the ladies. Itís a known fact that women no matter what culture your from prefer men that already have a career and their life is on the move and the majority of men that are at that point is at age 30 to 35. What woman wants to be with a man that is just starting out and the struggle is real. Whoever said getting with your own age group is ideal then  they are wrong.

Men in their 20s are desperate and have no idea what they want. So are they going to excel with their age group..rarely. If two 20 year olds meet and fall in love and think they have their goals set. The man has no clue whatís about to unfold when they hit the 25 year old mark. Women have a new set of goals at that age that donít line up with yours. Plus by then if they both graduated university then comes the real test of poverty. Student debt, bills, cost of apartment, car, etc. this is a mans weakest years. Thatís why they say wait till your 30 to get married. But what happens to women usual at the 30 year mark. They hit the wall at light speed. Their greatest asset which is beauty isnít a bargaining chip anymore. Thatís why women are the most powerful from age 17 to 28. Thatís why all women fear the number 30. Itís all downhill from there. If they were smart and used their beauty for finding the best option at a young age then thatís success..they played their cards right. If they used their best years to attain things like materialistic things, vacations, etc and dated jerks and wonder why the best men are now taken...theyíve run out of time. Iím not saying all women get unfortunate at 30 but the majority do... I am in my home town for a bit and itís a city of maybe 10,000 people. I seen two of my ex girlfriends from high school and think..my god..what happened...they used to be the hottest things going. Now they are overweight and their face looks like senator palpatine from Star Wars...I smiled and thought..yes...I dodged a bullet. This was my age group.

My wife is 10 years younger then me and itís awesome. She hit the genetic lottery because she has a metabolism faster then a speeding bullet so shes untouchable to weight. Being an FSU womsn they take care of themselves beauty wise with all those creams and stuff but now has access to Sephora because of me. So no more garbage Knock offs from turkey or China. When I met my wife my family thought she was 17. So sheís aging incredibly well. In my 20s I had great success but it was only short term. Itís not till I hit my 30s when I started killing it.

Age for men isnít really all that important. Sure if a girl is 18 and your 50 then hey...nothing is impossible but the chances of success are low...but if you are in the FSU then you already have your life together. Especially North Americans because our trip to that side of the world donít come cheap. The most powerful years for a man is his 30s to mid 40s. Take my best friend for example..he was in love with this girl back when he was 20 and she friend zoned him. Why...well he was working at a normal 9-5 job and was going to college to become a power engineer. Fast forward to his 40th year and getting a divorce because he finally got sick of his wife cheating on him for the 10th time and said she didnít love him. Why did it take so long for him to get out of that..stupidity yes but at the same time he got scared. The first time his wife left him for another man. He went back out into the world of dating and not one woman would give him the time of day. They could smell the desperation, he had been out of the game for a while and thought he lost his touch. How did his woman control him for the next 20 years. Her beauty. He thought he would never get a girl like that ever again. It took her a while and she was one of the few women that the wall didnít get her but now..well...he canít figure out what took him so long to leave. He said heís just not attracted to her anymore. I thought hmmmm...sheís got a lousy personality, sheís a terrible person...ummmm...whatís her redeeming qualities now that she finally doesnít have the one thing that kept him around...beauty.

Like I was saying...so the girl that friend zoned him 20 years ago happened to write a comment on Facebook and he just wrote a quick hello, they got talking and what do you know. She wanted to go to dinner and catch up. She was still looking somewhat decent but hey...she did have a pretty cool personality and they got along good. Letís see..heís now a chief engineer for a huge oil company in Alberta and clears 250000 dollars a year. Heís got his life together and has aged well. After that dinner they went back to his hotel room and got it on and are now together. Success is a big deal to women like it or not. Why would FSU girls come to Europe or North America if you arenít doing that great money wise or success wise. Sure you have to have other characteristics to seal things but age isnít that big of a deal.

Back when I started international dating...the age group I had was 19 to 30. I talked to them all but the one that had a good sense of humor and consistency was what I went with. Sure they were all rockets but they didnít care if I was almost 40.

Online msmob

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #18 on: April 26, 2018, 08:02:21 AM »
Most guys aren't honest about the spirit being willing, but the body might not cope and women aren't daft... they KNOW that - and bear that in mind when choosing a partner 
Let the UK people vote on how we leave the EU - not MPs

Offline ML

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #19 on: April 26, 2018, 08:41:27 AM »
Age gaps may not be an immediate or  even a mid term issue but I always wonder how such couples with a very large gap age together. What is life going to be like for your wife when you hit 80+?

Well, Emmanuel's wife will be 105 then . . . so who knows?
I still like Ike.

Online krimster2

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #20 on: April 26, 2018, 10:40:51 AM »
ďAge gaps may not be an immediate or  even a mid term issue but I always wonder how such What is life going to be like for your wife when you hit 80+?Ē

ďElsewhere in a word...Ē




before I respond to your ďobservationsĒ about me,
please allow me to reciprocate, and provide one about you...

why are you guys so insecure?
why all these worries, concerns; what about this? what about that?
what about it?

there are no guarantees in life, for any of us, except that we die in the end...
but if we let our fears hold us back, then not only do we die, but we also never really lived.

      ----------------------------------------------------


Iíve made MANY mistakes in my past relationships, and had MANY heart breaks...
but after awhile, I decided to not let my future be dictated by mere chance
and instead decided to become the architect of my future

I am an engineer, I think quantitatively, I realized my value in the ďdating marketĒ
in Ukraine was INFINITELY higher than in the USA, in the USA I was a C+ to a B-
but I WANTED to date A+ women (Iím sorry, my bad! selfish of me, I know!)
in silicon valley because it has the highest female/male ratio in the USA, I could at best date C- women, and that was getting tiresome!!!!

so Ukraine...
my first reaction to Ukraine in 1996 was ďSweet Jesus, you must be freakiní kiddiní meĒ  it was ďopposite landĒ hereís a place where I am the one being pursued by young beautiful women!!!

it would be like you were hunting Elk in the desert without success and then you fly to a magic forest thatís just FILLED WITH ELK! and the Elk walk up to you and nuzzle your shoulder to see if you have any food and they want you to pet them!

Ukrainian women were much more physical about sex than American women, although that couldíve been age (early 20s vrs late 30s) and not nationality related, and of course Iím not even talking about the 1-4 women in silicon valley who take anti-depressants, and as a result have no interest in sex at all...

one of the things that younger Ukrainian women did that American women didnít do was what I called ďpresentingĒ after getting undressed, they will place themselves in a provocative position, usually in a kind of ďopenĒ position, while making intense eye contact, the various poses also will stress muscle delineation
this is a standard part of foreplay there
however, a woman really have to be ďeye candyĒ level to do this...
the first time I had the pleasure to witness this melted my eyeballs and I have permanent damage...

so yeah, my bad, for wanting this...
and my bad, for actually getting it...

msbmob,
if the drill is a little slow
use the sander
the job will get done, and no one will complain about it!!!




Offline Boethius

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #21 on: April 26, 2018, 12:18:52 PM »
I think if you have your sh*t together age has no boundaries. Maturity is the real death sentence. I seen this one guy they call reviewbrah on YouTube who reviews fast food and looks like a red headed lesbian from the 1800ís and his main hook is wearing those mafia style suits from another era but when he opens his mouth I think what is so popular about this fool. He acts like heís 60 years old but most likely 18. Iím sure he realized that heís a virgin for life because with a personality like that you know heís not the life of the party and has no skills for picking up the ladies. Itís a known fact that women no matter what culture your from prefer men that already have a career and their life is on the move and the majority of men that are at that point is at age 30 to 35. What woman wants to be with a man that is just starting out and the struggle is real. Whoever said getting with your own age group is ideal then  they are wrong.

Men in their 20s are desperate and have no idea what they want. So are they going to excel with their age group..rarely. If two 20 year olds meet and fall in love and think they have their goals set. The man has no clue whatís about to unfold when they hit the 25 year old mark. Women have a new set of goals at that age that donít line up with yours. Plus by then if they both graduated university then comes the real test of poverty. Student debt, bills, cost of apartment, car, etc. this is a mans weakest years. Thatís why they say wait till your 30 to get married. But what happens to women usual at the 30 year mark. They hit the wall at light speed. Their greatest asset which is beauty isnít a bargaining chip anymore. Thatís why women are the most powerful from age 17 to 28. Thatís why all women fear the number 30. Itís all downhill from there. If they were smart and used their beauty for finding the best option at a young age then thatís success..they played their cards right. If they used their best years to attain things like materialistic things, vacations, etc and dated jerks and wonder why the best men are now taken...theyíve run out of time. Iím not saying all women get unfortunate at 30 but the majority do... I am in my home town for a bit and itís a city of maybe 10,000 people. I seen two of my ex girlfriends from high school and think..my god..what happened...they used to be the hottest things going. Now they are overweight and their face looks like senator palpatine from Star Wars...I smiled and thought..yes...I dodged a bullet. This was my age group.

My wife is 10 years younger then me and itís awesome. She hit the genetic lottery because she has a metabolism faster then a speeding bullet so shes untouchable to weight. Being an FSU womsn they take care of themselves beauty wise with all those creams and stuff but now has access to Sephora because of me. So no more garbage Knock offs from turkey or China. When I met my wife my family thought she was 17. So sheís aging incredibly well. In my 20s I had great success but it was only short term. Itís not till I hit my 30s when I started killing it.

Age for men isnít really all that important. Sure if a girl is 18 and your 50 then hey...nothing is impossible but the chances of success are low...but if you are in the FSU then you already have your life together. Especially North Americans because our trip to that side of the world donít come cheap. The most powerful years for a man is his 30s to mid 40s. Take my best friend for example..he was in love with this girl back when he was 20 and she friend zoned him. Why...well he was working at a normal 9-5 job and was going to college to become a power engineer. Fast forward to his 40th year and getting a divorce because he finally got sick of his wife cheating on him for the 10th time and said she didnít love him. Why did it take so long for him to get out of that..stupidity yes but at the same time he got scared. The first time his wife left him for another man. He went back out into the world of dating and not one woman would give him the time of day. They could smell the desperation, he had been out of the game for a while and thought he lost his touch. How did his woman control him for the next 20 years. Her beauty. He thought he would never get a girl like that ever again. It took her a while and she was one of the few women that the wall didnít get her but now..well...he canít figure out what took him so long to leave. He said heís just not attracted to her anymore. I thought hmmmm...sheís got a lousy personality, sheís a terrible person...ummmm...whatís her redeeming qualities now that she finally doesnít have the one thing that kept him around...beauty.

Like I was saying...so the girl that friend zoned him 20 years ago happened to write a comment on Facebook and he just wrote a quick hello, they got talking and what do you know. She wanted to go to dinner and catch up. She was still looking somewhat decent but hey...she did have a pretty cool personality and they got along good. Letís see..heís now a chief engineer for a huge oil company in Alberta and clears 250000 dollars a year. Heís got his life together and has aged well. After that dinner they went back to his hotel room and got it on and are now together. Success is a big deal to women like it or not. Why would FSU girls come to Europe or North America if you arenít doing that great money wise or success wise. Sure you have to have other characteristics to seal things but age isnít that big of a deal.

Back when I started international dating...the age group I had was 19 to 30. I talked to them all but the one that had a good sense of humor and consistency was what I went with. Sure they were all rockets but they didnít care if I was almost 40.


I hope for your sake, your wife is as superficial as you are.

To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #22 on: April 26, 2018, 02:20:25 PM »
I was 23 when I met a 16 y.o. whom later I married


You remember the crap on the forum I went through contacting and marrying my wife who was young? Some posters here would hang a guy for getting involved with a 16 yo.
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Offline Turboguy

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #23 on: April 26, 2018, 03:09:28 PM »
Age gaps may not be an immediate or  even a mid term issue but I always wonder how such couples with a very large gap age together. What is life going to be like for your wife when you hit 80+?


Darn, I won't be too long before I can answer that from experience.  Stop back in 3 1/2 years and I will let you know.  All I can say now is that it isn't much of an issue at 76 1/2.  The best part is that I can say I am done.  When she turns 40 I do not plan to trade her in for two 20 year olds.  I really see little difference in our relationship now than I did when we got married over 10 years ago.  When I reach the point where she has to change my diapers and wipe the drool from my mouth that may change things.   

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #24 on: April 26, 2018, 06:10:06 PM »
You remember the crap on the forum I went through contacting and marrying my wife who was young? Some posters here would hang a guy for getting involved with a 16 yo.
IIRC, you were NOT a 23 y.o. - as I was -  when you did that ;D.
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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #25 on: April 26, 2018, 07:21:15 PM »

Darn, I won't be too long before I can answer that from experience.  Stop back in 3 1/2 years and I will let you know.  All I can say now is that it isn't much of an issue at 76 1/2.  The best part is that I can say I am done.  When she turns 40 I do not plan to trade her in for two 20 year olds.  I really see little difference in our relationship now than I did when we got married over 10 years ago.  When I reach the point where she has to change my diapers and wipe the drool from my mouth that may change things.

Great to hear from you Turbo!

I have a mate in his sixties married to a lass half his age - they have two young kids - he had a brain bleed - twice - one nearly killed him and met he cannot drive a car and lost his Balloon pilot's licence - his business was leisure Ballooning flights 


His wife has been a total star during his recovery period - during which time their income stream was down to her and her newly qualified nursing role , plus state benefits.

Hopefully, he will not suffer any more fits - due to the bleed and will be able to drive if he can prove he has recovered

Marriages like your and theirs demonstrate that foolish folks like me shouldn't be so quick to judge by age difference


 
Let the UK people vote on how we leave the EU - not MPs

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #26 on: April 26, 2018, 08:10:10 PM »


before I respond to your ďobservationsĒ about me,
please allow me to reciprocate, and provide one about you...

why are you guys so insecure?
why all these worries, concerns; what about this? what about that?
what about it?

there are no guarantees in life, for any of us, except that we die in the end...
but if we let our fears hold us back, then not only do we die, but we also never really lived.


 Of course their are no guarantees. But we can speak of probabilities and the larger the sample size the closer the outcomes will approach those probabilities. We already know even when the woman and man are of the same age that the probability is the woman will outlive the man by several years. The larger the age gap means that the aging process between both partners will likely be at different points. It is highly likely the woman will need to become the man's carer at some point.

So, my question remains, as you age what is that experience  going to be for your wife. You know, the woman you love?

Offline deccie

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #27 on: April 26, 2018, 08:17:55 PM »

Darn, I won't be too long before I can answer that from experience.  Stop back in 3 1/2 years and I will let you know.  All I can say now is that it isn't much of an issue at 76 1/2.  The best part is that I can say I am done.  When she turns 40 I do not plan to trade her in for two 20 year olds.  I really see little difference in our relationship now than I did when we got married over 10 years ago.  When I reach the point where she has to change my diapers and wipe the drool from my mouth that may change things.

I can only wish you both the best and continued happiness Turboguy.


Offline deccie

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #28 on: April 26, 2018, 08:24:01 PM »

Marriages like your and theirs demonstrate that foolish folks like me shouldn't be so quick to judge by age difference

There will always be exceptions. But, as I said before, the larger the sample size the closer the outcomes will approach the probabilities.

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #29 on: April 27, 2018, 02:45:46 AM »
Have we any data to support your contention,or is it a bit feeling
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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #30 on: April 27, 2018, 02:51:38 AM »
Have we any data to support your contention,or is it a bit feeling

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2255111

" 3) The cumulative divorce rate was lowest when husbands were 1 to 4 years older than wives. This tendency was quite similar in different ages and cohorts."

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #33 on: April 27, 2018, 06:00:29 AM »
"A model is developed that shows that divorce rates are lowest when" .."or when the magnitude of their age difference is extremely large"

your second link ;)

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #34 on: April 27, 2018, 09:51:23 PM »
IIRC, you were NOT a 23 y.o. - as I was -  when you did that ;D.

I was 39 when I first contacted my now wife. She was 17. We met when she was 18. Your and my age really doesn't matter. For most people, it's the girls age that matters. They have an idea what age a girl becomes a woman and can make rational decision. For most people they believe a 16 or 17 yo girl can't make rational decisions so men, who are adults, are taking advantage of them.

In my state the age of consent for sex is 16 yo as long as the other partner in sex isn't an authority figure. Sandro, you weren't an authority figure when you met your first wife? Doesn't matter, I'm sure you were a gentlemen back then as you are now.
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #35 on: April 28, 2018, 12:02:29 AM »
Of course their are no guarantees. But we can speak of probabilities and the larger the sample size the closer the outcomes will approach those probabilities. We already know even when the woman and man are of the same age that the probability is the woman will outlive the man by several years. The larger the age gap means that the aging process between both partners will likely be at different points. It is highly likely the woman will need to become the man's carer at some point.

So, my question remains, as you age what is that experience  going to be for your wife. You know, the woman you love?


It is a point that is often overlooked. What happens when your wife becomes a desirable hot cougar in her forties while you are suffering from advanced decrepitude?

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #36 on: April 28, 2018, 12:20:12 AM »
Reading the comments here -- so what !!
Look at the stats of failed marriages with 20 somethings -it is a massive percentage that fail .
The bottomline -some relationships endure -- some don't !
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline ML

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #37 on: April 28, 2018, 01:06:48 PM »
Also there is 'age genetics.'

For instance,  suppose the man has/had parents and grandparents that lived well into their 90s.
And suppose the woman has/had parents and grandparents that only made it to late 50s or early 60s.

In these cases, the 60 year old guy marrying a 40 year old gal may likely have to replace a deceased wife when he hits his 80s.  He may have to go on a tour in his wheelchair.
I still like Ike.

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #38 on: April 28, 2018, 01:09:12 PM »
Also there is 'age genetics.'

For instance,  suppose the man has/had parents and grandparents that lived well into their 90s.
And suppose the woman has/had parents and grandparents that only made it to late 50s or early 60s.

In these cases, the 60 year old guy marrying a 40 year old gal may likely have to replace a deceased wife when he hits his 80s.  He may have to go on a tour in his wheelchair.


and if he takes a tour with A-date to Ukraine the 19-23 year olds will form a line behind him ready to push it  :rolleyes2:
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #39 on: April 28, 2018, 02:23:18 PM »

and if he takes a tour with A-date to Ukraine the 19-23 year olds will form a line behind him ready to push it  :rolleyes2:

And you don't think there are girls in ANY country ready to do that?? When there is $$ to be made??
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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #40 on: April 28, 2018, 02:52:04 PM »
"So, my question remains, as you age what is that experience  going to be for your wife. You know, the woman you love? "

guess what?
if you're insecure about yourself before you get married, you'll be insecure after as well...
therefor, this subject is about YOU and not HER!!

I've been married going on 19 yr to a a woman 15 yr younger
and this is a non-issue at least for us...

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #41 on: April 28, 2018, 04:30:25 PM »
I've been married going on 19 yr to a a woman 15 yr younger
and this is a non-issue at least for us...

My wife and I don't discuss this topic either.

There have been guys that come to this forum and said numerous times they asked a much younger woman if they have a problem with the age gap between them. They never come back and report they got married.
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #42 on: April 28, 2018, 05:35:46 PM »
Coming up to 18 years of marriage and my wife is 22 years younger. Like some Russian women my wife wasn't good with long term financial planning when she came to the US.

For instance when she started working I set up retirement accounts for her. She thought pensions were the job of the US government because she had heard everyone in the US received a pension when they turned 65. Someone had told her that his would provide for her retirement. My reply was that she wouldn't be able to live and eat on her government pension.

Also set up college funds for our daughters when they were born. Along with the college funds I set up retirement funds for the girls. This is something many parents don't think of doing. Doing it when they're born means the accounts have that much more time to earn income.

Offline calmissile

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #43 on: April 28, 2018, 08:58:10 PM »
My wife and I don't discuss this topic either.

There have been guys that come to this forum and said numerous times they asked a much younger woman if they have a problem with the age gap between them. They never come back and report they got married.

We did.     ;D
Doug (Calmissile)

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Re: Yet another "age gap" story - but with a difference
« Reply #44 on: April 28, 2018, 10:10:26 PM »
man, does not live by bread alone...
so take some time to show your children what they need to live...
teach them not only how to live, how to learn, but above all, how to love...
your children really are your true legacy...
long after you are gone
and all your possessions divvied up by strangers
the stories you have told your children
will still be heard by other childrenís ears

 

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