ConnerVT -- My first trip story

[jb]

During the time ConnerVT was doing his thing, he and I had several long phone conversations, I can assure anyone he is a well reasoned, sound of mind, individual.  Although he got crazy enough at the time to get himself banned from the RWG.

Dealing with the USCIS can do that to a man.

[RacerX]

Although he got crazy enough at the time to get himself banned from the RWG.

...if I recall, wasn't that your problem, too?  This is probably the wrong thread to get into this, but I wondered why this old thread was posted here rather than just linked to.  I bet both you guys could tell some interesting stories about your 'former' lives

[Jack]

Yea, we shouldn't mess up Conner's good report/thread.

Maybe you guys can start a new one. Sounds interesting.

[RacerX]

Jack,

If you like I could post dozens...make that hundreds like this one - I know a real good source for the "originals."  

[ConnerVT]

Some interesting comments here.  I decided to repost this here for two reasons.  The main one is to give some sort of introduction of who I am and how I got here for those who don't know me from other forums.  Married now for 8 months, my life is much too busy to write any large manuscripts for some time.  Our 6 y.o. son makes sure of that.

I could/would not link to the story from RWG, as it is not there.  Actually, all of my posts are gone from there, more than 600.  At my request.  I won't hash out what happened or why.  My Mama always said, "If you can't say anything nice..."

It has been fun reposting this dusty tome.  It must of been an honest recollection of my thoughts, for it still rings true with me today.  Today I'll send up the last of the series I wrote when I returned from my first trip which I met Natalya.

The South's Gonna Rise Up Again
(or The Mother of All Parties)

From my forum handle, you can probably guess that I'm from Vermont. Actually, I grew up in NY, in the 'burbs of Long Island, next to the Sound. I never really felt comfortable when I lived there. I discovered this when I moved north, to attend college. After college, I interviewed all up and down the East Coast, deciding to move to Vermont as it was absolutely the place it felt the best to be. Even though I hate the cold and snow.

So what is this thing I have for Southern women?

A disproportionally large number of relationships I have had in my life were with women from south of the Mason-Dixon Line. I can't say if it is the accent, the spicy attitude or the way they hide the fire within a demure sheathing. But many of the AW I've known were from Florida, Virginia, Tennessee, N. Carolina, etc. I go to Russia, and I find myself following the same trend.

When I boarded the plane for this trip, there were perhaps 12 women I planned to meet. I culled that number in half quickly, after meeting them. What was interesting is that the three women who really got my attention were all from the southern regions of the FSU. I guess this is a trait that's deeply rooted within me, my passion for southern women.

The reason I bring this up, is there is a party today. It's the day following Natalya's nephew's 7th birthday party, which was a minor get together compared to what is planned for today. For today we will celebrate Papa's 60th birthday, and everyone will be there. Including me.

So it is the morning, and I am waiting in the agency office, for Natalya is helping her mama with the preparations. I had asked her what I might get her papa for a gift, but she just shrugged her shoulders, for it is internationally universal that whoever you are shopping for "has everything."

She arrives at the office a little before noon, and Natalya, our interpreter Anya, and I head across the street to the mall, to find a present. Seems that Papa lost his umbrella a few days ago, giving us a break in our search of a gift. Of course, nothing in the mall is really suitable. For those who have shopped in a Western mall with two women, let me suggest doing it in Russia with two RW. My guess to why there aren't benches outside the stores of Russian malls? RM are just more intelligent than their Western counterparts, and don't find themselves trapped in the mall!

No umbrella is to be found in these stores, but Anya knows of another store, on the way to Natalya's house. It is fortunate that Russian taxis will wait for you, as you go from store to store. Besides getting the gift, we also needed to get some wine, as well as for me to get flowers for Mama. (I was almost caught unprepared the day before, not expecting to meet her folks. I fortunately had a small box of chocolates to give to Mama, so to not arrive empty handed). The lack of the Y chromosome is international, for these women completed the shopping gauntlet with speed and precision.

We arrived at Natalya's folk's house as they still were preparing food. Her parents' house, and her sister's house, is built adjacent to one another, within the same compound. Inside, in the living room, tables are set up, and places are set for about 35 people. This won't be nearly enough.

As Natalya helps her mum in the kitchen, I spend some time with Sergei (her brother-in-law) and Dimi (his good friend). This time, I have an interpreter, and they are certain to utilize the opportunity to ask the, oh, 20 thousand questions they always wanted to ask an American. Many are the same questions I've answered throughout the week, although they usually weren't coming from several places at once. The best way to stop answering questions is to start asking them yourself. We had a good time, though it kept Anya busy. I still think she had the easier shift.

I hadn't noticed, but while sitting there, more people had arrived. Many more. When we finally were called to the table, there were already at least 35 adults. And even more kept on arriving.

Now, let's go back to my attraction to Southern women for a moment. See, Natalya was born in Baku City, Azerbaijan Republic, as were her mum, and (I believe) most of her papa's nine siblings (I'm not sure how he missed out). Her family moved to Tver when she was a small child. This was something I found out at the celebration, as Uncle Victor (after several vodka toasts) made sure to point out everyone who was from Baku. Several times.

All I can say is -- they know how to throw a party. At one point, there were nearly 50 adults present. Both Anya, and later Arina, who was our late shift interpreter that day, commented that they had never seen that many people present for a celebration at a private home. The food was fantastic. It never stops, and many of the dishes my interpreters were unfamiliar with, being traditional to the south. Every once and awhile, you get up from the table to dance. The purpose, I believe, it to shake the food down into your hollow leg, allowing you to sit down, and eat again.

And of course, no celebration can be without toasts. Many of them. I fortunately took the advice I had been given, and did not attempt to keep up with the RM when it comes to drinking vodka. I stuck to wine, which is sound advice.

I realize that in this story, I haven't written much about Natalya. Believe me, it isn't because she was neglecting me. Anything but. She was at my side nearly the whole time, once done helping her mama with the preparations when we first arrived. My plate was never empty, my glass was never dry. She would, for lack of a better word, protect me from anyone she felt wanted to dominate my time or attention (perhaps shelter is more appropriate). If she wasn't rescuing me, it was the two of us rescuing our interpreters. After all, what vodka fueled RM wouldn't want to converse with an attractive 20-something woman? I think both Anya and Arina were worn out after that day, but we all had a great time.

I think the protective instinct of both Natalya and my interpreter went to alarm, when I agreed with Sergei that it was time for me to present a toast. This is something I would have done if I was back at home, so I saw no reason not to do so here. They both told me I didn't have to do this, but I had been sitting there for some time, thinking of what I wanted to say. This boy can be stubborn, when he's got something in his mind.

"I believe it safe for me to say, that I have traveled the farthest to attend this celebration," I started. "It is clear to me, seated at this table today, that for the past 60 years you have been blessed, surrounded by loving family and friends throughout your life. I wish that this good fortune continues for you the rest of your long life, and I thank you for allowing me to share in being part of your family for this day."

I'll always look back, and think, it was a good day.

[POSTSCRIPT]

One interesting thing about the part was that Lyuba (Natalya's sister) had borrowed a camcorder, and had videotaped the party. I had an opportunity to watch some of this tape, a few days later, when her and I went to pick up Pasha at her folks house, where Papa was watching him.

While watching the tape, we both found ourselves distracted by Natalya getting Pasha ready to head outdoors. He had been fighting a cold, and she was dressing him in the 8 inch protective head to toe insulating layer that only a mother can encase a 4 y.o. in.

Her voice was soothing and melodic, talking to Pasha, and unaware we were watching. It would have been obvious to any man who observed this, this care and love of a mother to her child. I feel for any man who can not remember moments like this from their own childhood.

When I looked over at Papa, I could see in his eyes he was seeing the same things as me - The love of a mother, and affection for this woman, his daughter. Although he understands not a word of English, I told him the thoughts on my mind, and reassured him I would be the best man I could possibly be for his daughter.

I am certain we both understood each other.

[/POSTSCRIPT]

[KenC]

Conner,

I have to let you know that I am really enjoying your trip report.  It has brought back many of my own memories.  There was a point in time, while I was in Tver that I too took the bull by the horns and did things my way.  In my case, I just got tired of being led around like a 12 year old.  LOL.  I also had the same experience with my now Father in law as you did.  It was my second trip and Lena and I were having dinner with her parents.  As the women left to hit the powder room, Lena's Dad and I had a little heart to heart talk even though neither of us could speak the same language.  LOL.  He asked if I was going to take Lena away to America and I told him yes.  He got teary eyed and shook my hand.  He also gave me the look only another Father would recognize.  The look that said "You better take good care of my little girl!"  The women never knew of our little "chat".

KenC

[ConnerVT]

My father in law is one of my favorite people.  The dynamic of my wife's family is interesting.  Mama is the front man of sorts.  Both are very friendly, outgoing people, explaining how 50+ people will show up at a birthday celebration.  But Mama is the one who puts the wheels in motion for many things.  She is the organizer, the peacemaker, the General Manager overseeing day to day activities.

Papa is a bit different.  He is more quiet, with a winning smile (decorated with gold).  During discussions, he is content to sit quietly, listening to all peoples viewpoints.  But when he weighs in with his opinion, it is usually very much on the spot.

My sister in law is much like her Mama, a good Russian daughter with a strong Russian mind set.  My wife, I believe, has always been a bit of a rebel.  Not in a defiant way, but always willing to follow her beliefs, even if they didn't follow the cultural norms.  And she certainly is daddy's daughter.