Omsk Report

[Goombah]

Hi all -

Just back from a week on Omsk.  What a difference from Kiev!

Omsk is flat.  Really flat.  Like it makes Kansas look like the Rocky Mountains.

Because its flat, water from rainfall and melting snow has nowhere to go.  So Omsk is muddy (or at least was when I was there).  The water does soak into the ground , but my girlfriend described Omsk as a marsh, and there were definetly areas that reminded me of that.

If you go, bring several pairs of shoes, and slippers - removing your shoes when you enter a house is not just polite, its a requirement.

ATMs are not as plentiful as in Kiev, but I saw at least a half dozen, so are plentiful enough.

Do NOT expect to be able to spend US Dollars or Euro's there - this is Rubble country.

Population appears normal with regards to relative beauty of the ladies as a percentage of the population, but my views may be slanted on that.  Very quickly I simply stopped noticing (good news for me!).

Of course, the best thing about Omsk is that my fiancee lives there!  

Kevin - no longer in the hunting game!

[Turboguy]

Congratulations Kevin.  I have been to Omsk.   It is flat there to be sure.  I thought it was very nice too.  Glad to hear the trip worked out for you.   Best of luck to you and your future bride.    Now we can see your posts in the visa part of the forum.  That is great.

[Goombah]

Thanks Turboguy -

Yes, I need to go find that forum and start watching it again.  Evia's mother EMSed me some paperwork that got left behind, so hopefully I'll be able to file this week.

Kevin

[Jack]

Hey Kevin, glad to see your back and hope you can share more of your knowkedge and perspective towards Omskand the region.  How long was the flight from Moscow to Omsk and what did the ticket cost? Does you fiancee speak good English or did you use an interpreter and if you used an interpreter what was the cost per hour (and please don't say $5 an hour. Sterlitz still reads the RWD and he does not want to see $5 an hour).

I'm considering a trip to Omsk and Novosibersk so if you don't mind might pick your brain.

[Goombah]

Hi Jack -

Moscow to Omsk is relatively short - about 3 hours.  Biggest hassle was the layover time from JFK -> Moscow - about 11 hours going and 9 hours coming back.

Got an unexpected tour of Moscow while traveling between SVO-2 and SVO-1:  I apparently got on the wrong bus which went downtown, then turned around and went back.  Took about 2 hours round trip.  The free shuttle is not clearly marked, or at least I didn't spot it  Grossly overpaid ($30) for a cab from SVO-1 to SVO-2 on the return trip - and I knew it, but was curious for the experience - its only a 10-15 minute cab ride around the runway.  Taxi guy wanted $50... I should have offered him $10.

Evia reads and writes English well, and understands it pretty good, but is shy when it comes to speaking it.  She can when she needs to.  Her mother speaks English better.  Although we spent several hours a day at her parents (at LEAST one meal a day), mostly her mother just translated what other family members had to say, not for Evia.

Please feel free to pick my brain, whats left of it.

Evia did have a SIM chip ready for me.  I must have asked her to do so, but do not recall doing so.  It got a little use while we were together, since we were together ALL the time (I stayed with her an her daughter in their very small home).  However, it was nice to be able to call her and her mother from Moscow, and her mother called me a time or two as well.

Kevin

[jb]

Goombah,

Glad to see your back safe and sound, with a good experience under your belt.

As you may have figured out, family acceptance is a major part of the process.  You seem to have passed that test and have been made a part of the family.  That bodes well for you.  Many men make the mistake of not cultivating the family approval and pay dearly later for having overlooked this very important part of Russian life and culture.

Well done.

[Jack]

Alright Kevin, you know I care for you and as such let me get out the ole jb clue bat. I'm a bit surprised he has not brought it out himself.

So Kevin, your fiancee does not speak English real well, mom helps to translate a bit. You think you got to know this woman whom you could communicate with at best on a so-so basis well enough in 6 days to marry her?  If you spent six days with an American woman would you think that was enough time to know if you two were compatiable enough and had the chemistry for a good marriage? Probably not. Why is it, how is it, guys can spend 6 days with a woman from an entirely different culture, where direct communications is so-so at best, and after 6 days knows she is the one? Now for guys who have met quite a few Russian women I think there comes a point when a guy knows if he has found the real thing after spending a week or two with her, but if I'm not mistaken you have met like one other Russian woman that you can say you got to know a little about and you thought you were in love with her as well, she was the one. And with a little time, you realized she was not the one. The previous lady you also made one trip to met one woman and she was going to be your wife, just as this trip. So how are you so sure this is the one?

 

 

[jb]

Ahh,,, come on, Jack....

I've made that speech so many times everyone by now knows it by heart.  Of course the problem is that everyone thinks that they are somehow the exception to the rule of normal dating.

I figure that I need to let some guys make their mistakes, then we can have a downright scare-the-bejesus-out-of-them horror story.  That ought to get their attention better than any clue bat I could swing.

[Jack]

I think your right, "everyone thinks that they are somehow the exception to the rule of normal dating"  or that they somehow, probably with great luck, and little effort, found the perfect mate so easily.

[Goombah]

Gents -

Your missing one reference point - Evia and I have exchanged over 260 e-mails, most of great substance.  The trip was to simply to confirm we had chemistry, and to meet the parents.  At an intellectual and life goal level we know we are compatible.  This wasn't a discovery trip, this was a confirmation trip.

That said, we have agreed to start the paperwork now.  Originally, that plan was based on pure time efficiency, now it is based on the beginnings of love.  We will meet in a few months for two weeks to confirm our feelings, and to spend more time together after a "cooling off" period now started.

Once that is all done, and the K-1 is processed, Evia and Nastya will come to the USA, and we will begin the 90 day period, with plans to marry around day 60-75.  This has all been openly discussed with her and her parents.  Everyone, including myself, think this is a good idea.

So... do I know her good enough after 6 days to marry her?  No, but I hope to by the time we reach day 60 of the K-1 visa.  I know that she is everything I could want in a woman, and I have not discovered any flaws of significance.  She genuinely appears to be interested in ME, not in my house (curiousity only), or my car (never asked), or my money (never asked).

Kevin

[Turboguy]

Since I am guilty of the same thing I will throw out my two cents worth.   You can fall in love in a week and do the fiancee visa thingy and it is not like you have sold your soul.    You have 90 days after she is here and you can go back and visit while the visa is being processed.

Since I took Kevins side on this, I will reverse my course and go the other way.   I made a trip and spent a week with my gal.   I left thinking I would go back for a two week visit and take the paper work with me.   I felt pretty comfortable with my thoughts.   I will also add my gal does not speak english just as Kevins and we communicate by writing notes back and forth, usually on napkins.  (I always thought those were just for late night phone numbers)   In the messages back and forth after my first trip, I just decided that if she wanted to I was willing to save the time and start the process for the visa so that is what we did with about a week of being together.

A month after we started in the visa, I made that two week trip and the gal I visited in the early part of my trip was very different than the one on the first trip.  One week into the visit I was ready to call it off and she was too.   Once we sat down and had some heart to heart talks about what the problems were she went back to her normal self.   It was really a case of her worrying that she was making a big mistake and commiting herself to something that might ruin her life.   Basically she was worried to death that she was rushing into something with someone she did not know very well.   (Now we have established that she has some brains and common sense)   After our talk she was fine.

I am trying to go and spend a week or two with her every 6-8 weeks to give us as much time to know each other as we can.   We have 90 days once she gets here.  I have told her that if she is not happy here or not happy with me once she gets her that she is coming on a round trip ticket and she is free to go back and she will have at least had the best vacation of her life.   This has eased her worries, and frankly if she comes over and it doesn't seem 100% right they do fly planes both ways.  I have been in a bad marriage once and a couple of bad relationships since as well as some good ones.   The cold hard reality is that you can be married to someone for 20 years and still not know them.  

When I interview someone to help run my business I make decsions on not much more than an hour of conversation that puts me at risk nearly as much as a marriage would although it is easier to fire someone than divorce someone.

My honest feeling are that in a week you can find out about 50% of what you will ever find out about a person as far as things that count.   Probably in the 90 days you can find another 25%.   I can understand that with the distances involved it is hard for many people to spend the time romancing someone and getting to know them that you would do with an American Woman. 

I think no matter how long you know someone once you are legally attached people often change.   I hear lots of stories about people dating for years and then getting married and the guy starts beating his wife or someone is a jealous idiot or one gains 50 pounds or what ever.   Time can help, but time is not a cure all.   People are often on good behavior while they are dating.   How many guys will let out a big fart on thier first date with a gal they really care about.   After they have been married for 20 years, it is sit in front of the tv watching football, drink beer and if the gas builds up hummm, your married anyway, she is used to you.

Hey Kevin, do we get to see any pics.

[Goombah]

Odd how fast things move.  Today I received a letter from her parents wanting to know my opinion with regards to Evia selling her home and moving in with them, since the sale would result in a higher price now in the spring then this fall, and moving in would provide her Internet access (her mother has the computer and Internet access).

For the record, Evia and I did fine communicating.  Her english is not great, but with the use of a dictionary 3-5 times a day, we did just fine.  She understands me well, with a little bit of situational analysis, I could often just ask a question or two and she would confirm her intent.

Loading pics onto my computer from my camera now, I'll post later today.

Kevin

[Turboguy]

Just a short comment on communication.   My gal and I had an interpreter the first day and I can't really say that it was comfortable or that we bonded well.   It felt more like I was talking to the interpreter and that she was talking to the interperter. 

Once we discovered with could communcate fine with notes we had a lot more warmth, humor, spontinuity, and bond between us.   Our interpeter was a guy and I have had better luck with female interpreters or what it is worth.   I am not sure that was it but I think if we can find a way to comminicate directly at least some of the time, with a dictionary or an electronic translater.  (we started out with the electronic translater and found she couldn't understand the translated version but she could understand what I was typing in which lead to the napkins which were much faster and better.

Looking forward to the pics.   I had a 150 page oversize book of Omsk I just through out a week or two ago when I had to move some stuff out of a building I sold.   I should have sent it to you in advance so you know what to expect.

Oh, one ohter thing.   I never had any luck finding the bus from SVO-1 to II either.   The information desk gave me the number to look for.   I usually just catch a cab.  If you just walk away when they quote the first price they will usually take you for $ 20.00 which is not bad to save the hastle.   I have found the bus for Domododevo which is out front and takes you for 200 rubles ( about 7.50 or so)  That is a nice savings over a cab. 

 

[Bruno]

Odd how fast things move. Today I received a letter from her parents wanting to know my opinion with regards to Evia selling her home and moving in with them, since the sale would result in a higher price now in the spring then this fall, and moving in would provide her Internet access (her mother has the computer and Internet access).

If i was in the place of your girl, i don't sell my home now... wait until some time after the marriage... maybe she can hire it to someone... so it will be some monthly income for his parents...

Now, all seem good but who know what can happend in the future... until you have not live some month together like wife and husband, i think that no one need to make a move that one can regret after...

[jb]

Evia and Nastya will come to the USA, and we will begin the 90 day period, with plans to marry around day 60-75.<snip> So... do I know her good enough after 6 days to marry her? No, but I hope to by the time we reach day 60 of the K-1 visa, etc.,,,

Once again we see someone planning to use the 90 day K-1 as a "trial marriage".  IMHO this is a bad idea, it's better to be more certain of your love and compatability before[/b] you pull that trigger. Is there some reason you are in such a hurry that you can't make a few more trips to firm up your feelings for each other?

Marriage is a very big step.

[Vaughn]

Kevin,

  Congratulations! I'm also one of those guys whose
method Jack rightfully questions. I married the first woman I met, and also wrote only to one ( after quickly eliminating five or siz others) Many times Jack's asked: "If you've dated only one, how can you possibly know she's the right one (or best one?) for you?"
(Jack, I hope that's close enough...) I thought about that even after having been married to my gal over two years, and all I could come up with is this: I don't know. The real truth is, I'll never know. I felt forced to take it a step further with, "did I care? Was my not knowing bothering me?" I have to be honest here, I've lost no sleep over it - perhaps I was lucky and met a woman with whom I'm very happy and compatible on the first visit. Never looked back. Having read (and being personally familiar with) a few horror stories, I submit that nobody really knows squat until the settling in happens, although I see Jack's and jb's advice to searching men as very valid. Admittedly, we  did
take our time - not submitting any paperwork until after my second visit, which was 6 months after the first, and was of major importance to both of us - confirming our feelings and desire to be together full-time. Also, I speak and understand Russian, not fluently, but in a practical sense, enough to carry on prolonged conversation and express thought. Evia's Mom as your interpreter? It's the first I've heard of that situation - unusual. As for deciding whether to sell the apartment, that's none of my business, but I'll offer this: you've got plenty of time to make such a decision - there'll be plenty more springs and autumns in years to come. We decided to maintain my wife's apartment in her hometown so that we'd have a nice place to stay when visiting in the future.


The heavy lifting begins when the lady arrives; hopefully you and she will continue to demostrate the resolve you show right now.

Good luck,  Vaughn

[Photo Guy]

Hey Kevin,
Welcome back and congratulations!
I think it shows again that emails prior to that first visit can be
an indication of good chemistry in a general way. When I met her in Kiev, she was so much like her emails - whimsical, intelligent, and vivacious..and cautious. My 7 days with her just confirmed that she was my type and in the right ball park. You can tell in the first day or two if she's a potential wife. If I were you, I'd make the next trial period take place in Omsk, rather than here. Just my opinion,
but you know the situation better than a newbie like myself.

Proceed with caution (mixed with all of those good vibrations)

After my 7 days with Lara, I can't imagine proposing marriage to her, although I think something like that can be feasible, just unlikely in most cases. I think the key ingredients are 'comfort' and 'excitement'. I mean just being with her felt 'right', not difficult, and a real pleasure. Even when we were both tired, she was always interesting and attractive. So after 7 days, we're eager to go back for a second closer look at each other.

I'm glad to hear your trip went well too. I wish you luck. Yes- photos? Doug

[Goombah]

Photo of Evia, Nastya (the young daughter) and I.  Nastya is completely at ease with the attention I give her mother, and seems to enjoy taking photos - she has documented our first kiss (not this photo).

[Turboguy]

Nice photo Kevin.   She is a doll and you too look great together.   You can see the chemistry in the photo.

[jb]

Jack wrote:

let me get out the ole jb clue bat

The "clue bat" doesn't belong to me, it really belongs to Boston Bubba, but he lets me borrow it from time to time when the need arises.

It has been my experience that the clue bat doesn't help a man who's already closed his mind to new ideas.  What most of these guys who post their one week wonder stories are really wanting is affirmation, not information.  All the clue bat does is piss'em off and make them plow ahead with all good advice unheeded.  I mean, they've just spent a week with a woman far more attractive and probably younger than anything they've dated at home in a long while, so they envision pie in the sky, everything is rosy, and don't you dare rain on my parade symptoms, therefore the clue bat is ineffective in most cases.

Good try though.

[BC]

Photo of Evia, Nastya (the young daughter) and I.

<--- quite confused.. who's in this photo? mother or daughter?

[BC]

Odd how fast things move.  Today I received a letter from her parents wanting to know my opinion with regards to Evia selling her home and moving in with them, since the sale would result in a higher price now in the spring then this fall, and moving in would provide her Internet access (her mother has the computer and Internet access).

Sounds more to me like the parents wanting to cut off an escape route should things turn out to be not be so rosy.

Quite honestly I would tell her to keep the place until you two are well settled. If for whatever reason she does go back a new place will cost a lot more..

just thoughts..

[Goombah]

Oops, edited in the wrong photo...  Here is the mother, daughter, and I one.

[Bruno]

Oops, edited in the wrong photo... Here is the mother, daughter, and I one.

Yep, here we can see that you have no problem with kiss :D:D

Maybe you need update your avatar... you seem more young on the photo of your trip that these of your avartar... maybe the effect of love

Ready your next trip... i am sure that you miss her... :?:cool:

 

[Son of Clyde]