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Author Topic: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.  (Read 15064 times)

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Offline Admin

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Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« on: February 20, 2008, 01:08:13 PM »
It appears he passed away in late January. Am unsure of the cause of death.

If anyone has any other information, please let us know.

R.I.P Doug.

- Dan

Offline Gator

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RE: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2008, 01:40:34 PM »
What a shame!

Is this the same California man married to the dark haired Olga?

He was mentoring her entry into the business of finding RW for men.

If the same man, he was not that old.  And physically fit - still surfing in California.

Shocking!

Offline Admin

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RE: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2008, 01:49:28 PM »
What a shame!

Is this the same California man married to the dark haired Olga?

He was mentoring her entry into the business of finding RW for men.

If the same man, he was not that old.  And physically fit - still surfing in California.

Shocking!

50 years old, and by all accounts, in good health. Yet, he died unexpectedly while on a business trip.

Yes, he leaves behind Olga and their 3-year-old daughter Lana.

I'd spoken to Doug several times on the telephone - and exchanged numerous email messages with him. He was a passionate and talented man. Most memorable was his love for his daughter.

I am really taken aback by the news.

- Dan

Offline Admin

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RE: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2008, 01:53:03 PM »
For anyone interested, donations to a college fund for Lana may be made as follows:

Checks may be made payable to:
USAA College Savings Plan/505800609-01 (on Memo line please write “for the benefit of 505800609-01″) and mail to:
USAA College Savings Plan
P.O. Box 55354
Boston, MA 02205

Offline BC

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RE: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #4 on: February 20, 2008, 02:09:17 PM »
http://barrymorris.net/bidding-farewell-to-a-friend-and-mentor

Another reminder that every day is priceless.


Offline groovlstk

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RE: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #5 on: February 20, 2008, 02:35:17 PM »
Such horrible, horrible news. I didn't know Doug outside of his posts here, but he obviously had a ferocious intelligence and deep passion for his family.

The selfish voice in me says, if someone who took such care to keep himself fit for his wife and daughter, what chance do the rest of us have? :(

Offline Makkin

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RE: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #6 on: February 20, 2008, 02:44:50 PM »


  Sad news.....

   The chance we have is to live like there is no tommorow and still show the act's of kindness as I'm sure he did as noted by the admin here.

  Makkin
FUBAR

Offline Patrick

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RE: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #7 on: February 20, 2008, 03:06:57 PM »
Oh My, This is bad news. Doug helped me out on two occasions . He was my pal and we had spoken of a visit here in DC when they came out this way.

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RE: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #8 on: February 20, 2008, 03:25:22 PM »
Such horrible, horrible news. I didn't know Doug outside of his posts here, but he obviously had a ferocious intelligence and deep passion for his family.

The selfish voice in me says, if someone who took such care to keep himself fit for his wife and daughter, what chance do the rest of us have? :(

None. We have no chance. Nobody gets out alive.

BUT - one hopes to be able to spend significant time with our children and spouse. Doug obviously loved both Olga and Lana enormously. My heart hurts for their loss.

I've been thinking about it constantly since learning the news. It keep intruding into my thoughts even when I am supposed to be focused on other matters. It is nearly a month since Doug died on January 22nd. Still, having just learned of it, the news is a bit staggering.

Doug had an incredible gift. I mentioned it to him privately, and also publicly here at RWD. His gift of written communication was remarkable. His passion for life and his chosen pursuits - and for his family - were evident from first contact with Doug.

He hasn't participated much here at RWD for some time, but I will still miss him.

- Dan
« Last Edit: February 20, 2008, 03:26:56 PM by Admin »

Offline Gator

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RE: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #9 on: February 20, 2008, 05:21:46 PM »
I Googled “Doug Salem” and at the top was “Doug Salem RIP."  Surprisingly, it was not about Doug’s early death.  No, it was an acrimonious attack on Doug, accusing him of behavior opposite of what Dan and others say about Doug based on personal knowledge.

That poster can not retract his ugly words.  Even if he could, the pain was already done.  It reminds me to withhold criticism of others unless I have stood in their shoes.

It is sad that this is all that I could find on Doug.  So I would appreciate if those who knew more about him would say something that would celebrate, however modest, his life.

I never talked with Doug and know him only from his posts.  He was an excellent writer and shared many stories, all enjoyable and insightful reads.   One was an animated account of teaching Olga how to drive.  It was horrifying as well as hilarious, featuring if I recall correctly, Olga jumping the curb at a mall and landscaping the bushes.  He gave a lot of his time to write the story, and it was done in the spirit of sharing a tense yet fervent moment most married men have faced.

Offline jinx

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RE: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #10 on: February 20, 2008, 06:32:31 PM »
 Doug was the first person from a forum to pick up a phone and call me, he wanted to talk like regular guys, and not just posts in a forum. He took time out to warn me of the pitfalls of forums like these, and how we can get caught up in them, and there is no point in arguing with certain people, they will never see your point of view, he was right about that, and many other things too.

 Doug was very opinionated as many know, and a little stubborn, but no one can deny he was a great storyteller...it was easy to get caught up in his writings, to picture the things that he has seen, his descriptions and attention to detail were incredible, you were transported to Ukraine for a trip report, or just caught up in his daily life, like his driving lessons with Olga, or conversations with his daughter, he let us into his life, he wasn't afraid to have it all out there for the whole net to see. He even used his real name when posting, how many people here do you know their last name?

 I met Doug in real life finally just 2 months ago. He lived nearby in Folsom, and commuted down to Watsonville a couple times a week...he decided to stop by my shop and say hello, and he did! We chatted for a couple of hours, he got to meet my girlfriend Nataly who is from Ukraine like his wife. He was in full storytelling mode, he talks in real life, the same as he writes...slow and deliberate, thinks about what he is saying and with great attention to detail. He was telling about some of the problems he has with his in-laws, how they care for Lana (his daughter) when they visit, and the differences in their cultural attitude toward child rearing. He had us laughing, and yet having serious discussions about the subject....Nataly was defending Olga's parents (of course) and I was trying to see both sides of the issue. It was forum dialogue brought to life, not written on a page. He liked to stir up those kinds of emotions in people and get them talking....whether you agreed with him or not, it didn't matter, Doug enjoyed those debates....as many of us do in these forums.

 I didn't know Doug well enough, but I will miss him. We were going to meet with he and Olga in San Francisco, but I got busy with the holidays, and he was busy with work too. I was wondering what happened with him, and today I found out like the rest of you...and like Dan, I can't stop thinking about it...Nataly and I keep thinking about 3 year old Lana, and his now widowed young wife, it's all too sad.

 The one thing I do know is that Doug was really happy at this time in his life, he loved his job, he had a great house, with dacha like fruits & vegetables growing out back  and he couldn't stop talking about his daughter, he was so proud of her, and loved her so much. Olga was always in his thoughts too, and he was happy that she had chosen a career that she would enjoy, and was taking steps to make it happen.

 Things were going great...and now he is gone too soon, but his memory will live on...we'll miss you Doug.  - David (formerly jinx13 here)


« Last Edit: February 20, 2008, 06:42:23 PM by jinx »

Offline jinx

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RE: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #11 on: February 20, 2008, 06:39:09 PM »
Doug's introduction, for those that didn't know him:

 Privyet

I'm new to this board. I have been on others in the past, but dormant for over a year now. Some of you probably know me.

As a minimum I can say I know DonAZ, Manchester, Maxx, Wesley Spence and BWS on this group.

I am Doug Salem; married to Olga, from Krivoy Rog, Ukraine eight years this coming February.

This is my second marriage; Olga's first.

We have a little girl named Lana. She will be three this January.

I had no children from my previous marriage; and Olga had no children either.

Little Lana is the first and only for both of us; and of course, our pride and joy.

Olga will be 30 in May of 2008; I will turn 50 in just over a week.

I will put up some recent photos if I can figure out where and how to do that.

My first marriage was to an American woman from the Deep South and lasted seven years.

I stayed single for 12 years between marriages.

I was 41 when I set out on my quest to find Olga.

We have made some important changes since I last went online.

The new me hides behind the mysterious-but-meaningful pseudonym – “Late Takeoff, which was my style as a surfer, and ended up being how my life played out.

I still work as a marketing executive in the engineering and construction and Defense industries. But I hung up my private consulting practice shortly after Lana was born.

I took a full-time position with a big corporation so I could be home for dinner and FAMILY every night.

This necessitated our moving from our beloved Southern California to Northern California.

Olga closed down her little business and Yahoo Group - "GoEastNow," and "Ask Olga and Friends," respectively.

Although we felt Ask Olga and Friends made a difference, GoEastNow was thankless, unprofitable, and demeaning.

Olga gave up on parlaying her two Ukrainian degrees into a career here in the U.S., and effort that seemed equally futile.

Instead, she has decided to fall back on her true strengths, which are people-skills, creativity, and fashion. She is studying to get her license to cut hair. I know she will be very successful at it. Make way for Salon Olga.

We are very, very happy with our little family. (We also have a black Lab, Shadow, who has been with us for six of our eight years.) We have, as they said in the hundred or so marriage agency profiles I so naively perused way back in 1998 (including Olga’s) – a COZY HOME and a STRONG FAMILY.

Yes, here we are cozy and strong, but getting here was much different than I ever imagined.

In light of changes I described, and a surprising new insight brought about by the birth of our child, my approach to, and presence on, the Internet should be much different than what you have seen in the past.

The new insight I speak of is not that schmaltzy “kids-change-the-way-you-look-at-the-world’ stuff you may be thinking it is. It’s about the huge cultural abyss that lies, and always will lie, between me and my Russian wife. How understanding and bridging that treacherous and ever-present drop-off is crucial to the happiness that eludes most in this endeavor.

My opinions and convictions about the RW-WM issue are basically the same. That may disappoint or alienate some of you. That is one thing I can not change. They are not exactly what the popular majority on these kinds of groups want to hear, and they are definitely not what a “marriage agency,” owner wants somebody like me to say.

But I think I will be able to express those opinions and convictions differently now; and that should soften things a bit and make my information more useful.

And again, there is the new information and insight, which continues to surprise and enlighten me. I think it may be time to let some of that out of my head. Perhaps that is why I joined.

 

Offline AkMike

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RE: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #12 on: February 20, 2008, 08:10:03 PM »
He'll be missed.
 A long time ago he took the time to help me with a small question. No big deal but I appreciated him for it. Olga does/did have a group chat on Yahoo. Both are good people..

Offline Son of Clyde

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RE: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #13 on: February 21, 2008, 07:50:26 AM »
Dan, I hope you will let me post this in spite of my differences with Doug.
I had spoken to Doug and Olga a dozen or more times and Olga had done some interpreting for me. We were at odds because they had reservations about my wife and some problems they thought might get in the way of her being able to obtain a visa. I did not dislike Doug, I just disagreed with him on this one issue.

I made this post on another board:

Doug and I had some fights and misunderstandings on and off the boards.
He was a bit like me and could be defensive and even explosive at times.
Even though we did not see eye to eye I am still very sorry to read about his passing. Doug helped me in the early days to find a reputable marriage agency where he met Olga and I met Iryna. You can never know what is going on personally in someone's life because there are certain things we all keep inside. There may have been more to the story (health issues) that we or even Doug may not have been aware of. Life is precious, live it to the fullest, enjoy what God has given you. Doug died way too young but he had much to be proud of. He had a marriage that survived the test of time and a child. He had what every man wishes for, a good family and dedicated friends. What I am trying to say is that Doug had a full life and was very proud of his family. I am very sorry to hear this sad news.
 

Offline Admin

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #14 on: February 21, 2008, 11:50:57 AM »
Folks, I moved this topic to the 'Married' forum, renamed it to be a permanent Tribute to Doug, and set it as a "Sticky" topic.

Please feel free to share your experiences with Doug and your feelings about his passing.

As I stated yesterday, I will miss him - though not nearly as much as his lovely wife Olga and beautiful daughter Lana.

Please keep them in your prayers.

- Dan

Offline Shadow

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #15 on: February 21, 2008, 03:10:27 PM »
I would dispute Doug's view on backup plans, altough admitted that Olga was thinking the same way which made it a good match.
His knowledge and almost always entertaining posts made him stand out from anyone in the crowd.
While I did not know him personally, his name is well known.

I wish his family will overcome this loss soon, and keep their fond memories of him.
While the body dies, the spirit lives on as long as it will be remembered.
No it is not a dog. Its really how I look.  ;)

Offline Jumper

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #16 on: February 21, 2008, 06:07:08 PM »
Only knew him thru his posts ,but they were always interesting and entertaining.


God Speed Doug,


my sincere  condolences to his family =(

AJ
« Last Edit: February 21, 2008, 07:01:29 PM by AJ »
.

Offline Bruce

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #17 on: February 21, 2008, 06:41:53 PM »
Sorry to hear the news.  What a shame.  Doug was a great poster over the years on many boards.  This should be a wakeup call to all of you to live life to the fullest.  One never knows the road ahead.
"A word is dead when it is said, some say.  I say it just begins to live that day."  Emily Dickinson

Offline Jet

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #18 on: February 21, 2008, 07:30:15 PM »
I knew of Doug from several places even before I found RWD and if anything, the man was passionate, not only about life, but about the lives of others, that he and his wife touched. I didn't always agree with him, but I was always interested in hearing his "take" on things, and some of our most spirited debates happened right here within this community of RWD. It's funny how the death of a person you've never met, and never talked to, can affect you more deeply than you thought.

I'll miss Doug

Liliya and I would also like to offer our most sincere condolences to Olga, Lana, and the rest of their families in this time of grief.
Every action in company ought to be done with some sign of respect to those that are present. ~ Geo. Washington

Offline Admin

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #19 on: February 21, 2008, 11:22:37 PM »
This is only *some* of the posts Doug made at RWD over the years - but if anyone wants to get a glimpse of his thoughts and opinions, click here -- http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=profile;u=1330;sa=showPosts

Among the posts, he refers to a Blog which he began. It was excellent. Sadly, when he and Olga decided to abandon the GoEastNow site (still referenced in his profile), he also brought down the blog.

I think Doug and Olga found there are some imbalanced and mean-spirited people who visit these sites and make life difficult on owners/admins. It ultimately resulted in their withdrawal from managing their own site.

- Dan

Offline coco

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #20 on: February 22, 2008, 02:38:18 AM »
I remember Doug posting over this years on many boards.
I always enjoyed his passionate posts.

condolences to his family

Coco and Bluebell

Offline AnastassiaAsh

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #21 on: February 22, 2008, 07:12:22 AM »
Well, i didn't know these guys and for some reason never came across his posts, but I think I heard their last name. I have read lots of threads and some of his wonderful messages, reports and articles.

Any way, i have just emailed Olga to three email addresses that I found. You all know I went through the same 'hell' 5 years ago, so I decided to reach out to her and let her know that i can help her with anything i can and that she is not alone... I am not sure if i get anything back...  :(

Offline mspanky

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #22 on: February 22, 2008, 11:34:30 AM »
 I read some of the post from he and his wife. What an amazing couple. This is too sad. Especially for the little girl who will never really get to know the father who doted on her so much.

Anna,

 I hope you can get through to her as I'm sure Olga will need  a shoulder to lean on.

Offline chivo

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #23 on: February 23, 2008, 12:37:55 AM »
I woke up yesterday morning, read this and was also taken aback. Because my Firday was so busy and I had to leave early, I was unable to respond. I couldn't help but think about this all day.

I first met Doug about 5-6 years ago. I have been on one forum or another since 2000, and as those of you who have been around for awhile, read many of his posts.

Since Doug live so close to me at the time, it only made sense to look him up and share some of our experiences.

Doug was living in Chino Hills at the time, and I was about a 15 minute drive away in West Covina. Both are suburbs in Los Angeles. I was also working in Rancho Cucamonga then and could easily pass by his house on my way home from work, and did so a few times.

I visited him and Olga on a few occasions, once even sharing a nice Russian style dinner Olga prepared for a group of RW/AM. They were of course always the perfect hosts.

Like most who knew him as mentioned, he was very opinionated and passionate about what he believed. Almost to a fault. There was very little grey area with him, and personally, I respected this about him. It matter not that we agreed or disagreed on things.

We lost touch after some time, and I moved here to Moscow in '04.

Our last correspondence was about 6-8 months ago when I wrote him a email correcting some things he posted on another forum, and updating him on my living arrangements here.

Of course he strongly urged me to get out of Russia and come back and re-establish myself in LA.

At the time I was a little angry that he had such a negative view of life here as I felt he was short on the facts, but deep down I knew he only wished the best for me.

Thats how I remember him, as someone who could cut to the bone, but truly believing that he had your best interest at heart.

No I didn't always agree with him, but with him, what you saw is what you got. Thats all I ask in anyone.

My prayers and heart go out to his lovely and caring wife.

R.I.P

chivo


Offline Vaughn

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #24 on: February 23, 2008, 09:36:50 PM »
I just moments ago learned of Doug's death on a Blog by his employee/partner/friend. I cannot believe
this - it's unthinkable, so difficult to accept.

A very few folks here know that I lost my little sister, Jeannie, early in January. Like Doug, Jeannie
was also fifty years of age. Doug's passing reminds me once again that I need to celebrate each
and every dawn I face.

My earliest recollection of Doug Salem was when I stumbled upon his site promoting a Snail Mail
Campaign as an effective way to meet and establish contact with RW/UW of sincere intention.
Of course, the campaign drew much criticism, but that sort of stuff never swayed Doug very much.
David, thanks for posting that photo of Doug and his daughter - it speaks to me so clearly.

Vaughn

Offline Wild Orchid*

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Re: RE: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #25 on: February 23, 2008, 11:44:28 PM »
I Googled “Doug Salem” and at the top was “Doug Salem RIP."  Surprisingly, it was not about Doug’s early death.  No, it was an acrimonious attack on Doug, accusing him of behavior opposite of what Dan and others say about Doug based on personal knowledge.
It is very sad news but those words were posted 4 YEARS ago....
Don't you look at the dates?


Offline Admin

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Re: RE: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #26 on: February 24, 2008, 08:38:46 AM »
It is very sad news but those words were posted 4 YEARS ago....
Don't you look at the dates?

To clarify:

* The page which Gator found was from a person who had a disagreement with Doug - yes, 4 years ago.
* When Doug (apparently) decided to withdraw from the disagreement, that person made several callous comments, including using the "R.I.P." (Rest In Peace) acronym to mock Doug's withdrawal.
* Now, with Doug's passing 4 years later, to review those callous comments that were made in the heat of a disagreement, it is very sad indeed.

I think the point Gator was making is - there is very little, if anything, in the internet space that should motivate us to write hateful and callous comments about someone else.

Just my take on things.

- Dan

Offline Gator

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #27 on: February 24, 2008, 10:49:43 AM »
Exactly (and to start anything in a tribute thread other than a tribute.....).

Offline Ronnie

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #28 on: March 11, 2008, 03:00:45 PM »
Has anyone yet learned how Doug died?  How is Olga doing?
Ronnie
Fourth year now living in Ukraine.  Speak Russian, Will Answer Questions.

Offline Markus

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #29 on: April 20, 2008, 12:01:07 PM »
It's sad to learn about Doug. I send my condolences to Olga. Doug was a person
who had a way of turning words into interesting thoughts. He had a passion to
help people with his experiences. Doug didn't seem to go overboard with his opinions.
He communicated in a diplomatic way. I think even those people who disagreed
with him would say he had a way about him that led one to like him. Even though
I'm late in learning this, I pray that God will comfort Olga and their daughter during
this time and the future.

Mark

Offline AnastassiaAsh

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #30 on: April 21, 2008, 11:25:22 AM »
I haven't heard from Olga since i sent my email to her to those three addresses. I am not sure what is happening to her and her little girl and where they are.  :-\

Offline Markus

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #31 on: April 30, 2008, 06:45:35 PM »
AnastassiaAsh,

Thanks for the update. I Hope that she has some friends who will help her through this.
I don't know her, but think about what she is going through.

I have told my wife about certain things in case I pass away, and I think it's important for
each man who has a RW wife to prepare his wife.  My wife puts a lot of trust into me to take care
of things. But, I still try to communicate to her about the finances in case something like this
happens to me. It's very important for a man to think about his wife in this situation.

I do hope that somebody is helping Olga.

Mark

Offline Ronnie

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #32 on: April 30, 2008, 08:31:45 PM »
I have a feeling she may have left the U.S..nobody seems to be able to reach her.
Ronnie
Fourth year now living in Ukraine.  Speak Russian, Will Answer Questions.

Offline Shrek

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #33 on: July 09, 2008, 09:25:10 PM »
I knew Doug well for the last 10 years of his life. I also knew Olga through Doug, first at their Chino Hills, California home shortly after they were married, again while they were traveling in Central California on a vacation before the birth of their daughter and visited my home (for me to 'baby sit' their dog, Shadow, over night while they enjoyed their nearby hotel room alone), and then shortly after they had moved to their Folsom, California, house where I also met their lovely daughter Lana, who was about one year old at the time.
My understanding is that Doug apparently suffered a heart attack alone in his hotel room while on a business trip to Tucson for his company in January. I tried to contact Olga by email shortly after learning of Doug's death but received no response.
Although I searched for an online obituary for Doug, I found none. For what it's worth, this is Douglas George Salem's obituary as I know it:
Doug was the son of a career Air Force man and his wife and spent significant time in Japan during his formative years. His family (aside from his parents, Doug also has at least one brother, although I've not met any of them) returned stateside to Southern California There Doug took up surfing as a teenager.
After graduation from high school Doug knocked around a few menial jobs, choosing not to go to college immediately, and eventually got an entry-level mailroom-type job with a missile contractor. His aptitude for the English language led to his being offered a promotion to help put proposals together for the firm. That started his proposal career which he stayed with until his untimely end.
Doug progressed in proposals and moved to Florida to pursue missile contracts with the firm. There, he met his first wife. While that marriage was happy at first Doug told me that he eventually discovered his wife was having an affair with his best friend, so they divorced. That threw Doug into an emotional tailspin where he lost his job, surfed in Florida for a while and wound up, haggard and despondent, back in Southern California close to his parents and brother. Pulling himself out of his depression, Doug started looking for proposal work again and was hired by Northrop. There, he worked on that firm's successful proposal to build the B-2 stealth bomber.
Doug left Northrop and moved to Sacramento doing proposals for Kleinfelder, a civil engineering firm, and an Inupiat-owned military services contractor, ACCI. He left those firms and briefly did freelance proposal work, including Granite Construction, a heavy civil contractor headquartered in Watsonville, until 1997 when he joined Arctic Slope World Services (ASWS), a defense contractor reconstituted by the same  Alaskan native-owned Inupiats that owned ACCI.
As proposal manager for ASWS Doug hired and formed a proposal group consisting of another proposal manager, two proposal coordinators, and a graphic artist to produce proposals for military aircraft fueling and maintenance services, as well as military base operating services contracts. I was one of the proposal coordinators Doug hired and his gift for teaching was evidence by the proposal training that he provided me. His dry wit and patient insistence for producing the best possible product was apparent.
Doug left ASWS after about a year. Two issues arose in his departure. First, in 1998 Doug went through personal emotional upheaval when a medical internist ended their two+-year relationship that resulted in his frequently missing work and becoming detached from day-to-day office concerns. Second, the firm was disappointed that it was not winning new work and, in fact, was losing contracts it thought were secure. Higher management blamed Doug for that and terminated him.
Doug moved back to Southern California, took up proposal freelance work and determined that he wanted to find someone to fall in love with and marry. Doug made an internet search and stumbled upon several sites offering meetings with eligible Russian and Ukrainian women. On one of those sites he found Olga's profile and started corresponding with her. Their relationship bloomed.
Shortly afterward, Doug was hired as a business development manager for Parsons Corp. in Pasadena. While with Parsons, Doug had the opportunity to travel to Russia on business. He combined that with vacation time to travel to the Ukraine to meet Olga, her family, and court her. He arranged for her visa to the US and they were married in a small ceremony in Las Vegas.
The couple bought a house in Chino Hills and they settled in as a couple, with Doug teaching Olga how to drive in Parsons' Pasadena parking lot and encouraging her to return to school to improve her English.
Doug left Parsons and concentrated on freelance proposal work to pay the mortgage and Olga's community college tuition. After about a year of that I contacted Doug offering him freelance proposal work with Granite Construction. Doug had referred me to Granite for a proposal job shortly after ASWS closed its office in Sacramento. I kept in touch with Doug, respected skills and found a way to repay my gratitude for his referral on the Granite job.
Doug performed the freelance work well and I offered Doug a full-time job with Granite. In deciding to accept that job Doug noted that it was time to settle into a position and concentrate on his family. They sold their Chino Hills home and bought a home in Folsom to be close to his new job for Granite in Davis.
Proposals are a very small world. Now I was in a position where I was Doug's boss. Knowing Doug and his headstrong ways, I came from Watsonville to Granite's Davis office to visit Doug shortly after he started his new job. I wanted  to make sure he had no qualms about the new situation. He repeatedly said that he was comfortable with the arrangement, wanted latitude to "do his own thing" with the Davis office and we enjoyed dinner afterwards with Olga and Lana in their Folsom home.
Things soon proved that Doug was happiest doing his own thing and our relationship deteriorated. I learned that draconian measures were taken by Doug that led to my departure from Granite within two years of his hire. It was a sad way to leave a friend. I hope Doug before he died forgave me whatever perceived ills I did to him just as I forgave him of any offense on me.
Two things summed up Doug's life - his family and proposals. The day Doug's body was discovered in his Tucson hotel room I received a call from a former fellow worker at Granite with the news. I was told that Doug was under a lot of pressure having to complete three separate proposals within a very short time and it was speculated that pressure might have led to his death. Ironically, I was working on a competitor's proposal for one of the three proposals Doug was working on when I received word of Doug's death.
The cause of Doug's passing was pure speculation. However, it's an object lesson for us all to remember to keep things that are most important at the forefront and let secondary things fall to the side if they interfere with the things we hold most dear.
Doug Salem, I'm a better man for having known you. May those left behind find comfort in your memory.

Offline Ronnie

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #34 on: July 10, 2008, 12:03:53 AM »
Thank you, Shrek. Your account of Doug's life was well done.  I didn't know him but now it seems I do.  Thanks again.

Thank you, Markus for you comment about men married to RW need to be prepared.  I have on my to do list, to write up a full checklist of what to do in the event of my sudden and unexpected demise.

Gentlemen, I think most of us don't really realize how much our wives depend on us and how initiated they are in such things that need to be done after a spouse's death. 

Here are some of things that will be on my checklist that I am now committed to do before I turn sixty later this month:

*If you don't have life insurance, buy it! Get a term policy for 10 times your annual income.

*Make arrangements for where you wish to be buried..buy a plot.  If you don't have a family plot remember, the location is not about you, it about those who want to visit your grave from time to time so make it a convenient location.  If you're a military veteran, a plot can be made available to you at any of the national cemeteries at no charge.
Decide that before hand and who will prepare the body and what container you want.  Loved ones tend to feel cheap and unloving if they don't buy the best coffin.  Make that decision yourself so as to remove the burden.

*Prepare an announcement to go out via email to family friends and business clients.  Ask someone to email the announcement when the time comes and ask your wife to contact that person right away.  Put that person's name and phone number on your checklist

*If you have any non-joint accounts, investment, IRA, Bank.  Make a list of the institutions and account numbers and phone numbers to call.

*Train your wife how to pay bills online if that's what you're doing.  Show her the passwords and have her do it to be familiar or write out step-by-step instructions.

*Write how to contact the car insurance companies as well as home and boat.  Also how to contact the mortgage company or landlord.

*Write a will or codicile to dispose of anything your wife would have no use for but might be wanted by other family members or friends.

*If someone owes you money, make a list of who and what amount and keep it updated so your wife can continue to collect it.

*Write your own obituary and write on your wife's checklist how to send it to the newpaper.

*Get familiar with you wife's survivor benefits with social security and write down who and how to contact the Social Security Administration.

*Talk to your wife about her living situation after you're gone.  Will she want to move to a smaller home..another city or state or country?

She will probably not want to talk about it, knowing their superstitious nature, but she should also under how important it is not to ignore the realities of life and, in particular, death.

Guys please add to this list anything I may have overlooked.. I just did this from the top of my head at midnight, so surely I've missed stuff.

Oh, and most important..Let her know where she can find you later on.. either  :evil: or  :angel:


 :D
Ronnie
Fourth year now living in Ukraine.  Speak Russian, Will Answer Questions.

Offline SteveInTennessee

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #35 on: July 10, 2008, 06:57:02 PM »
All,

I only found out today about Doug's death. I was stunned and saddened. I was cleaning up my email inbox and found an email from Doug from early Jan '08 talking about proposal work. Doug and I became friends in Northern VA (1992) when he was working with American Operations Corporation. He left AOC and moved to Sacramento to work for ACCI and then Klinefelder. We worked at ACCI together for a couple of years. Doug came to south Florida and stayed with me in 1998 (he even left a surf board at my place in the event he came back to south Florida). In 1999/2000 Doug and I were roommates in Santa Barbara working on the Antarctica proposal for Tetra Tech. Doug taught me how to surf (I wasn't very good, but he was) and we spent time in Arroyo Grande with his parents, and bar hopped in SLO and Pismo Beach, where he talked me out of getting a tattoo. After that, Doug went to Pasadena to work for Parson's and we would talk every few months. Doug was a very good man. He was completely dedicated to his family and had an incredible work ethic. Every email from Doug for the past 3 years talked about Olga and Lana. We hadn't spoken in 7 months (thanks to the proposal business and multiple deadlines) and for that I am very regretful. He will be missed by many people. I have many fond memories of the man, and hope that one day I am fortunate enough to share some of the tamer ones with Lana so that she will know how special her father was. To Olga, Lana, Doug's mother and brother's, and the many people who knew Doug, my deepest condolences.

Offline Rvrwind

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #36 on: July 27, 2008, 05:43:26 PM »
I learned of Dougs passing from our mutual friend Wesley Spence some time back. It was a shocker & gives one pause to consider their own mortality.
He will be missed by his family & those he befriended.
Good Journey Doug, wherever it takes you....
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Offline barry

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Re: Tribute to Doug Salem - R.I.P.
« Reply #37 on: September 23, 2008, 10:15:26 PM »
I never knew Doug and Olga well, but we met for lunch in Santa Monica with other AM/RW couples several years ago.  I sat next to Doug and I enjoyed his company and stories about his adventures, including those with Olga.  Although we never became close friends I feel a void knowing that he is with us only in spirit.

 

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