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Author Topic: visa for new wife and her two sons?  (Read 37938 times)

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Offline sleepycat

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #100 on: October 24, 2014, 05:54:35 PM »

Also what does the Holy Spirit say about shagging someone else's wife?


However, that act does not contravene the RWD Ten Commandments !

Offline Turboguy

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #101 on: October 25, 2014, 04:24:57 AM »


Also what does the Holy Spirit say about shagging someone else's wife?

 
I can't see that he has or is planning to shag anyone's wife.


1. Most anyone in any form of mental health will agree that kids are better off raised in 2 parent homes with both the influence of a male and female.

2.  Women with two children are not in demand in the FSU.  Her life there will be of a single mother struggling to get buy.

3.  Ukraine is not a great place to be right now and she lives in one of the most polluted places in Ukraine.

4. The kids future will be much brighter in the USA than in Ukraine.

5.  In the few hours I have spent face to face with Doug he seems like an intelligent, calm, kind, caring person who will try hard to be a good husband and step father.

6.  Having a family with a step parent can create authority problems and issues for both the children and the couple but sometimes it does work well and when it does it can be a far better environment for a stable family life.

What conclusions I draw from this.

1.  There is a very, very high probability that children will have a far better life with more of a chance of a good future should this work.

2.  There is a very high probability that Larisa will have a far better and happier life than she would have otherwise.

3.  Doug is so in love that even though he could find a pretty girl with less baggage he would not be as happy as he will be by seeing this through.   I see far less risk for Larisa and the kids than some of you seem to but I do see risk for Doug.  I however don't think Doug would ever truly be happy if he didn't follow his dream and do his best to make this work.
« Last Edit: October 25, 2014, 04:27:36 AM by Turboguy »

Offline Muzh

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #102 on: October 25, 2014, 04:50:51 AM »
 
I can't see that he has or is planning to shag anyone's wife.


1. Most anyone in any form of mental health will agree that kids are better off raised in 2 parent homes with both the influence of a male and female.

2.  Women with two children are not in demand in the FSU.  Her life there will be of a single mother struggling to get buy.

3.  Ukraine is not a great place to be right now and she lives in one of the most polluted places in Ukraine.

4. The kids future will be much brighter in the USA than in Ukraine.

5.  In the few hours I have spent face to face with Doug he seems like an intelligent, calm, kind, caring person who will try hard to be a good husband and step father.

6.  Having a family with a step parent can create authority problems and issues for both the children and the couple but sometimes it does work well and when it does it can be a far better environment for a stable family life.

What conclusions I draw from this.

1.  There is a very, very high probability that children will have a far better life with more of a chance of a good future should this work.

2.  There is a very high probability that Larisa will have a far better and happier life than she would have otherwise.

3.  Doug is so in love that even though he could find a pretty girl with less baggage he would not be as happy as he will be by seeing this through.   I see far less risk for Larisa and the kids than some of you seem to but I do see risk for Doug.  I however don't think Doug would ever truly be happy if he didn't follow his dream and do his best to make this work.


Turbo, I hope for his own sake that things turn out okay.


We knew of this couple in a similar situation. The guy is a research scientist with the Department of health and makes good money, is in great shape and rather young. She is a knockout and they seemed to fit nicely. She also had two kids in UA and regardless of her hotness, was not a marrying candidate. Once she got her residence card, she left him with the kids to have fun with her boyfriend.


Indeed, Amor Vincit Omnia.
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline pokerintherear

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #103 on: October 25, 2014, 07:49:03 AM »
Being in sound mind and full of common sense I ask you to shut the door on this relationship. Yes, relationships are work with much compromise. But they progress easy compared to your situation. All the issues and drama is not normal as much as you would like to think. This is not the type of "hard work" people refer to in dating and marriage.

Now a little information on a good possibility of what you are up against. There are cases of foreign woman coming on a K1 or other marriage visa and becoming a US citizen in about 3 years. If she stays married to the same man this is very possible. They then divorce. She resumes relationship with foreign ex husband with possible marriage. As US citizen she will find a way to have ex husband join her and children in the US.

P.S. During the 3 years of marriage she will spend as much time as allowed visiting her home country.

You can find better

« Last Edit: October 25, 2014, 07:52:27 AM by pokerintherear »

Offline calmissile

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #104 on: October 25, 2014, 08:29:47 AM »
 
I can't see that he has or is planning to shag anyone's wife.


1. Most anyone in any form of mental health will agree that kids are better off raised in 2 parent homes with both the influence of a male and female.

2.  Women with two children are not in demand in the FSU.  Her life there will be of a single mother struggling to get buy.

3.  Ukraine is not a great place to be right now and she lives in one of the most polluted places in Ukraine.

4. The kids future will be much brighter in the USA than in Ukraine.

5.  In the few hours I have spent face to face with Doug he seems like an intelligent, calm, kind, caring person who will try hard to be a good husband and step father.

6.  Having a family with a step parent can create authority problems and issues for both the children and the couple but sometimes it does work well and when it does it can be a far better environment for a stable family life.

What conclusions I draw from this.

1.  There is a very, very high probability that children will have a far better life with more of a chance of a good future should this work.

2.  There is a very high probability that Larisa will have a far better and happier life than she would have otherwise.

3.  Doug is so in love that even though he could find a pretty girl with less baggage he would not be as happy as he will be by seeing this through.   I see far less risk for Larisa and the kids than some of you seem to but I do see risk for Doug.  I however don't think Doug would ever truly be happy if he didn't follow his dream and do his best to make this work.

Very well written Turbo and very logical.   I agree 100% about the children having a much brighter future.      :clapping:
Doug (Calmissile)

Offline calmissile

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #105 on: October 25, 2014, 08:55:19 AM »
Being in sound mind and full of common sense I ask you to shut the door on this relationship. Yes, relationships are work with much compromise. But they progress easy compared to your situation. All the issues and drama is not normal as much as you would like to think. This is not the type of "hard work" people refer to in dating and marriage.

Now a little information on a good possibility of what you are up against. There are cases of foreign woman coming on a K1 or other marriage visa and becoming a US citizen in about 3 years. If she stays married to the same man this is very possible. They then divorce. She resumes relationship with foreign ex husband with possible marriage. As US citizen she will find a way to have ex husband join her and children in the US.

P.S. During the 3 years of marriage she will spend as much time as allowed visiting her home country.

You can find better

Marrying someone with children is always a greater challenge than marrying a woman with no children.  A middle aged man looking for a wife over 30 that has no children is not so easy.  Not much different in the USA.  A middle aged man seeking a teeny bopper, trophy wife in their 20's is another matter.  That does not appear what Doug desires.  Furthermore, some men actually like children and have no problem with raising step children.

Your comment about the probability of Larissa divorcing him after 3 years doesn't seem logical to me.  Her chances of finding a new husband in the USA isn't that great either, considering that she has multiple children.

Assuming that the biological father will grant permission for the children to emigrate as Doug has stated, I think his challenge will be the financial responsibilities he assumes with a new wife and two children.

The only risk I see is the idea that Larissa and her soon to be ex-husband is conspiring to take Doug to the cleaners as some have suggested.  Unless there is some evidence to support this notion, I suspect that it is no more probable than any other similar relationship.

 For Doug's sake, lets hope he fulfills his dreams and this all works out for the benefit of the new family.
Doug (Calmissile)

Offline fathertime

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #106 on: October 25, 2014, 10:02:34 AM »
Very well written Turbo and very logical.   I agree 100% about the children having a much brighter future.      :clapping:
Would you be saying the same thing about the children if the mother and prospective suitor happened to be Mexicans, or would you be bellyaching about the largess and welfare state enabling things like this to happen? 





Your comment about the probability of Larissa divorcing him after 3 years doesn't seem logical to me.  Her chances of finding a new husband in the USA isn't that great either, considering that she has multiple children.

Assuming that the biological father will grant permission for the children to emigrate as Doug has stated, I think his challenge will be the financial responsibilities he assumes with a new wife and two children.

 


1.  If this lady is attractive there will be a lot of potential suitors for her in the states, you are mistaken by saying she would not have much market value here. There will be options, some will be not very good, others might be reasonably decent considering.
   
2. If Photo Guy is unable, or unwilling down the line to take on the financial responsibilities that come with bringing a lady with two small children here, then they have a very good chance of needing governmental assistance of some sort. This means it will be the collective additional burden of all the tax payers.  You have bellyached a lot about the 'welfare state' yet when it is someone you have an affinity for that might very well create an additional burden you offer support.  Recognize this about yourself, and show a little more reasonableness when others from different ethnic groups have the same issue.   :D [size=78%]  [/size]


Fathertime!   
I just happened to be browsing about the internet....

Offline I/O

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #107 on: October 26, 2014, 05:48:58 PM »
 

 I'm doing the right thing and those who disagree are coming from a place of ignorance, often showing their own biases and their own dark imaginings, projecting their own inner issues.
PG, I contend, in this example, dissent is born of history, good sense and experience, not ignorance.
 
Remember these words, your words from 11th October 2005, approximately 9 years ago
Quote
This woman is very sweet ....or a very good actress.
I think you came close in your assessment at the time. 
 
« Last Edit: October 27, 2014, 12:02:52 AM by I/O »

Offline southernX

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #108 on: October 26, 2014, 08:32:18 PM »
wow ,

what a read of diverse well meaning posts

given my wife had a child i took responsibility for i know the issues pg will be taking on , mixed familys are not easy , but jeez they can be rewarding !!!

pg i dont know you or your history in detail with this lady , but you always strike me from your posts as a decent bloke who has his head screwed on and can think for himself

so ill assume you and your lady are in the best position to have all the facts and mitigating reasons why things went the way they did years ago and the same for how you both have come back together ,

2 kids, finances  , divorces, ex hubbys approvals , visas ill assume youve discussed , etc as well

i think only a blind fool would have reforged a relationshp with this lady without some deep thinking going on over the time you have known her , so unlike others ill give you credit that you know your life and understand yourself better than we do  ;)

all the rest of us are just stating opinions , and yes often their based on our  life experiences, cause thats all we have  ;)

so  pg given you ''know '' your relationship background better , im tending to agree with turbo on your chances , nothing in life is easy really , work hard at making it work from your side , thats about all anyone of us can do in a relationship ,

we can never control or gaurantee what life will deal out to us , just do the best you can , be the best you can !!
you seem to understand that is what you will need to do , learning as you go is what we all do during life, none of us are born experts, .. if you love them & accept this lady and her children into your life , you will be fine ime

some people with just a small learning experience will tell you dont do it , based on their experience , while some like I/O who have a bigger pool to draw on offer good thought provoking reflection for you ,

me ?/ well i sense from your posts , you have made up your mind long ago to do this , so ill just ask you to give it your 100 % effort , for all of those it involves, yourself, be good to you pg, if this lady really is the ''one '' cherish her , make it as difficult as you can for her to not love you , same for the kids, talk with your lady set boundarys ,etc, they will learn to live and love you in time , dont force it , just live it together ,
time together as a unit will create that  which you want you life to be , or it will prove you made the wrong call again , either way you cant control it , just live it and work on being the best you can

have faith not  fear, pg

best of luck

SX
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Offline Muzh

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #109 on: October 27, 2014, 01:29:23 AM »
IOW, let us know in 731 days, ok?
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline JayH

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #110 on: October 27, 2014, 01:55:34 AM »
PG-- I have been reading thread with interest. A few have commented that you are a decent guy--and that to me is the key.Do what your heart tells you( after consulting your thinking head!)
You know best here-- and tbh--even if I was privvy to much more of your life--my advice would not change!

Good luck to you all!! :D
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline Gator

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #111 on: October 27, 2014, 07:24:45 AM »
Photoguy,

What amazes me is your commitment to someone whom you have not seen in the eight years after she walked over you. 


I suggest that you not jump into this, and instead first spend some time together to build commitment, asking yourself each day:  "She did not love me then so why will she love me now?" and "Do I feel her love?"


Best case:  Some women very well may be happy marrying and living with a friend and provider.   That is the best case.  Is that enough, especially when your love is so strong?

Worst case:    You know this outcome.  Can you accept the failure consequences and go on with your life, feeling fulfilled merely in having made your best effort? 

Offline Wayne

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #112 on: October 27, 2014, 08:31:07 AM »
Tiffanie, are you asking for volunteers or are you offering to pay? Most of the men who have an excellent marriage have dropped off from this forum.
 
Doug, I would suggest that you find a way to live together for a while first before getting married. I think a Ukrainian divorce can happen quickly.
 
There is a minimum of three years living in USA for a spouse to get citizenship, but five years for children.

Offline Castingdirector

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #113 on: October 27, 2014, 09:06:58 AM »
The opportunity to tell such a story nationally can lead to many opportunities, but we do not offer compensation. Wayne, would you happen to know any of the men who happen to be in such an excellent marriage that you can pass my information to or put me in contact with?

Tiff

Offline Photo Guy

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #114 on: October 27, 2014, 11:06:02 AM »
Photoguy,

What amazes me is your commitment to someone whom you have not seen in the eight years after she walked over you. 


I suggest that you not jump into this, and instead first spend some time together to build commitment, asking yourself each day:  "She did not love me then so why will she love me now?" and "Do I feel her love?"


Best case:  Some women very well may be happy marrying and living with a friend and provider.   That is the best case.  Is that enough, especially when your love is so strong?

Worst case:    You know this outcome.  Can you accept the failure consequences and go on with your life, feeling fulfilled merely in having made your best effort?

Gator, she did not walk all over me. 
A worst case scenario would be for her to continue a status quo in Ukraine.
Her father is gone. Out of the picture. Her mom is supportive of us.
We love each other. I'd hate myself if I walked away from her and her sons.
I won't do that. Many worthwhile endeavors have dangers...
We're both committed to this and we're both tenacious. -doug

Offline pitbull

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #115 on: October 27, 2014, 11:40:28 AM »
Gator, she did not walk all over me. 
A worst case scenario would be for her to continue a status quo in Ukraine.
Her father is gone. Out of the picture. Her mom is supportive of us.
We love each other. I'd hate myself if I walked away from her and her sons.
I won't do that. Many worthwhile endeavors have dangers...
We're both committed to this and we're both tenacious. -doug
Hi Photo Guy,
 
I remember your story. Is Larisa's English any better now? I remember it was non-existent in 2006
 
Be the person that your dog thinks you are

Offline Gator

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #116 on: October 27, 2014, 01:19:44 PM »
Gator, she did not walk all over me. 

My bad!  I was not here when your story unfolded, so I based this statement on what others wrote.   Not many FSU women come here with the intent of marrying a bloke and then change their mind. 
 

Quote
A worst case scenario would be for her to continue a status quo in Ukraine.

This makes you a white knight, and based on general opinions expressed over 12 years of RW forums, white knights in general do not fare so well once the rescued damsel gets on her feet. 


Quote
Her mom is supportive of us.

Any mother with a daughter in distress wants her to be rescued.



Quote
We love each other.

Great!  How do you know?  Hopefully it is a stronger love than 9 years ago when she came, saw and returned to UA. 


Quote
I'd hate myself if I walked away from her and her sons.   I won't do that. Many worthwhile endeavors have dangers...We're both committed to this and we're both tenacious.

Splendid!  All I am suggesting is to spend time together before filing for a fiancee visa.   It has been a long time since you last saw her in person?

Offline southernX

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #117 on: October 27, 2014, 08:14:02 PM »
pg,

couple of questions , if you dont mind ?

when was the last time you and her actually spent time together as a couple ?

has your main communication been in person , or via skype/phone etc ?

have you spent any time with her children ?

can you handle it if she walks asecond time pg ?

without knowing more about your situation its difficult to understand your chance of success , even though you seem determined  on going on with this

SX
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Offline Ade

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #118 on: October 28, 2014, 05:47:33 AM »
X, I think you'll find all your questions, except the last one, answered above.

Offline Photo Guy

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #119 on: November 01, 2014, 02:14:19 AM »
This:

 
I can't see that he has or is planning to shag anyone's wife.


1. Most anyone in any form of mental health will agree that kids are better off raised in 2 parent homes with both the influence of a male and female.

2.  Women with two children are not in demand in the FSU.  Her life there will be of a single mother struggling to get buy.

3.  Ukraine is not a great place to be right now and she lives in one of the most polluted places in Ukraine.

4. The kids future will be much brighter in the USA than in Ukraine.

5.  In the few hours I have spent face to face with Doug he seems like an intelligent, calm, kind, caring person who will try hard to be a good husband and step father.

6.  Having a family with a step parent can create authority problems and issues for both the children and the couple but sometimes it does work well and when it does it can be a far better environment for a stable family life.

What conclusions I draw from this.

1.  There is a very, very high probability that children will have a far better life with more of a chance of a good future should this work.

2.  There is a very high probability that Larisa will have a far better and happier life than she would have otherwise.

3.  Doug is so in love that even though he could find a pretty girl with less baggage he would not be as happy as he will be by seeing this through.   I see far less risk for Larisa and the kids than some of you seem to but I do see risk for Doug.  I however don't think Doug would ever truly be happy if he didn't follow his dream and do his best to make this work.

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #120 on: November 07, 2014, 08:08:20 AM »
You don't need to adopt them. I've heard (don't know for sure) that if she is in Ukraine then she will need kids' father's permission (unlike how it is in Russia).


For under 16...No permission needed if no father on birth certificate. There is a specific UA form that shows no father present...




« Last Edit: November 07, 2014, 08:10:36 AM by bjstults »

Offline Photo Guy

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #121 on: February 03, 2015, 09:59:21 PM »
I/O wrote:

"Remember these words, your words from 11th October 2005, approximately 9 years ago
Quote<blockquote>'This woman is very sweet ....or a very good actress.'   "
Yes, I wrote that. If you know something about the beginning phase of any relationship...
...it always starts with an infatuation stage where each person shows their 'best face'. People can be really good actors and I wasn't just talking about this woman. That's how people are. It takes time to see who they are. You have to realize that 9 years have passed. We lived together for almost three months. She never tried to force anything. She was cautious from the beginning. That made sense to me. In dating and in marriage there are situations where one or both parties are not trustworthy. Judging the relationship from the outside is foolish. If someone tells me I shouldn't trust her, I think it's ridiculous. -Their opinion is based on very little info or insight. I think she's very sweet, spiritual, emotional, and a good match for me. She knows I'd be a good dajka for her sons...


</blockquote>

Offline Photo Guy

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #122 on: February 03, 2015, 10:02:10 PM »
K2 visa?
Is there a separate visa application for the K2? for her sons? The K1 process does ask for info about her sons...is that all we need? Very little info out there about K2's. 

Offline Ade

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #123 on: February 04, 2015, 12:27:00 AM »


I/O wrote:
 
"Remember these words, your words from 11th October 2005, approximately 9 years ago <blockquote>'This woman is very sweet ....or a very good actress.' </blockquote>  "

Yes, I wrote that. If you know something about the beginning phase of any relationship...
...it always starts with an infatuation stage where each person shows their 'best face'. People can be really good actors and I wasn't just talking about this woman. That's how people are. It takes time to see who they are. You have to realize that 9 years have passed. We lived together for almost three months. She never tried to force anything. She was cautious from the beginning. That made sense to me. In dating and in marriage there are situations where one or both parties are not trustworthy. Judging the relationship from the outside is foolish. If someone tells me I shouldn't trust her, I think it's ridiculous. -Their opinion is based on very little info or insight. I think she's very sweet, spiritual, emotional, and a good match for me. She knows I'd be a good dajka for her sons...



A bit of blind luck that this lady had her epiphany just in time to save her family from invading marauders then.  :) 


Let's hope she manages to get her husband out in time too - it can take a while for her green card to arrive after all... Oh, but there's always the DV route if things really start to heat up there I guess.


Offline Photo Guy

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Re: visa for new wife and her two sons?
« Reply #124 on: February 04, 2015, 04:32:24 AM »
Are you saying she had a sudden epiphany?
Where did you see that? We've been communicating
A lot over the last 2 and a half years. Your
..view is murky.

 

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