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Author Topic: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?  (Read 1570 times)

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Online Trenchcoat

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Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« on: July 21, 2021, 01:49:54 PM »
So kind of been wondering of late if getting married/having children if you had them was how you hoped it would be or did it quite not end up what you thought it would? the marriage and/or the kids.

This can be with FSW or previous Marriages/with or without children.

I kind of been feeling of late that a lot of women maybe most are really more interested in a guy for his earning income, if he has nothing special there then a lot of women aren't really interested. Aside of course from those guys who are good looking, good physic, or great social skills. Also that in a marriage the two of you might feeling a bit hampered/stuck in it with the other and get on each others nerves a bit.

Kids I'm unsure of whether they could get a bit hard going after a while until of course when they leave. Any thoughts?
« Last Edit: July 21, 2021, 01:52:50 PM by Trenchcoat »
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Offline Goombah

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2021, 03:37:45 PM »
Hardly unique to marrying a Russian woman.  Perhaps amplified a bit by doing so.  You forgot to add "Marrying just to escape the local <economy/war region/personal relationship/bad work environment/etc.".


I'm happier now with a Russian wife than I ever was with my previous American wife.  Is life perfect?  Hell no.


ps.  Married to a Russian woman since 2005.


pps.  Never try and get between a Russian woman and her children - they will always be #1 to her and you will be #2.  At least that is my experience.
« Last Edit: July 21, 2021, 03:39:38 PM by Goombah »

Online John Gaunt

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2021, 11:13:22 PM »
So kind of been wondering of late if getting married/having children if you had them was how you hoped it would be or did it quite not end up what you thought it would? the marriage and/or the kids.

This can be with FSW or previous Marriages/with or without children.

I kind of been feeling of late that a lot of women maybe most are really more interested in a guy for his earning income, if he has nothing special there then a lot of women aren't really interested. Aside of course from those guys who are good looking, good physic, or great social skills. Also that in a marriage the two of you might feeling a bit hampered/stuck in it with the other and get on each others nerves a bit.

Kids I'm unsure of whether they could get a bit hard going after a while until of course when they leave. Any thoughts?
Trench, you’ve been saying this since the year dot.
It’s obvious you have zero trust in women and their motivations.
So the best options for you would be:
Use paid services as and when you require
Go the rainbow route
Remain the Incel bachelor.

Online Nightwish

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2021, 03:06:21 AM »
how many threads does our resident incel need about exactly the same subjects over and over again?


I kind of been feeling of late ...blah blah blah

No you have been belching the same stupid crap for 6 years now, over and over and over again
you are a waste of space..
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Offline Maxx2

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #4 on: July 22, 2021, 03:52:55 AM »
Hardly unique to marrying a Russian woman.  Perhaps amplified a bit by doing so.  You forgot to add "Marrying just to escape the local <economy/war region/personal relationship/bad work environment/etc.".


I'm happier now with a Russian wife than I ever was with my previous American wife.  Is life perfect?  Hell no.


ps.  Married to a Russian woman since 2005.


pps. Never try and get between a Russian woman and her children - they will always be #1 to her and you will be #2.  At least that is my experience.


All true of Georgian women as well. A she bear and her cub(s).


But the Woman that God gave him, every fiber of her frame
Proves her launched for one sole issue, armed and engined for the same;
And to serve that single issue, lest the generations fail,
The female of the species must be deadlier than the male.


Rudyard Kipling




Offline GQBlues

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #5 on: July 22, 2021, 08:46:34 AM »

All true of Georgian women as well. A she bear and her cub(s).

Isn't that true for the vary vast majority of mothers regardless of ethnicity or culture?

As for Russia, why then there are so many unwanted children there?
« Last Edit: July 22, 2021, 08:52:48 AM by GQBlues »
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Offline Maxx2

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #6 on: July 22, 2021, 08:59:07 AM »
Isn't that true for the vary vast majority of mothers regardless of ethnicity or culture?

As for Russia, why then there are so many unwanted children there?


True

Offline GenMish

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #7 on: July 22, 2021, 10:34:18 AM »
My kids were the best thing that ever happened to me

My FSU wife was a could partner in raising children, doubt they would have turned out so well with an American born wife. My LT GF before I met My Russian wife was not Mother material, way too self centered

It was that GF that got me off my tush and to Russia for a wife

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2021, 12:51:19 PM »
how many threads does our resident incel need about exactly the same subjects over and over again?

No you have been belching the same stupid crap for 6 years now, over and over and over again
you are a waste of space..

This is actually different to other threads I have created. I was simply asking forum members of their experience of marriage & children and how they found it.
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Offline Boethius

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2021, 01:16:17 PM »
You are asking the wrong question, Trench.  Many posters here are on second or subsequent marriages.  Presumably, that changes expectations (for subsequent marriages).


I don't think, if a person is rational, that you have "hope" of what your children will become, beyond happy, functioning individuals.  We bring them into this world and love them above everything, but when they grow up, they have their own desires and wants, their own lives to live.


As a woman, I can tell you that earning potential was never a priority for me.  But I was young, as was my husband.  I don't think, at your age, your income per se is an issue, but it tends to demonstrate who you are.  I also think this is probably less of an issue among women in your own country, and probably far more of an issue if you are pursuing an FSUW.  If she is interested in a foreign man, part of that is precisely because he can give her a lifestyle an FSUM cannot.
True love begins when nothing is looked for in return. -  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Offline Grumpy

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2021, 05:23:58 PM »
 Some days will be better than expected, other days worse. Some days you will ponder how somebody so wonderful can be so damn aggravating. They will wonder the same about you! Applies to spouse and kids both.

http://youtu.be/-EvvPZFdjyk
Good women are not cheap
Cheap women are not good
(but they can be a lot of fun)

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #11 on: July 23, 2021, 11:11:16 AM »
So kind of been wondering of late if getting married/having children if you had them was how you hoped it would be or did it quite not end up what you thought it would? the marriage and/or the kids.

This can be with FSW or previous Marriages/with or without children.

[Insterted by Bill LOOK BELOW HERE YOU REVERT TO FORM]

I kind of been feeling of late that a lot of women maybe most are really more interested in a guy for his earning income, if he has nothing special there then a lot of women aren't really interested. Aside of course from those guys who are good looking, good physic, or great social skills. Also that in a marriage the two of you might feeling a bit hampered/stuck in it with the other and get on each others nerves a bit.

Kids I'm unsure of whether they could get a bit hard going after a while until of course when they leave. Any thoughts?

You are doing the stinkin' thinkin' again. You recycle this ball of crap every month or so.

Stop it.


This is actually different to other threads I have created. I was simply asking forum members of their experience of marriage & children and how they found it.

No, it's the same ole crap with a different toilet paper.

You started out differently but went straight to your crap a couple of sentences later.

« Last Edit: July 23, 2021, 11:19:29 AM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline fathertime

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #12 on: July 23, 2021, 07:18:27 PM »
So kind of been wondering of late if getting married/having children if you had them was how you hoped it would be or did it quite not end up what you thought it would? the marriage and/or the kids.
It has turned out to be really good for me.  Very satisfied with that aspect of life. 

I kind of been feeling of late that a lot of women maybe most are really more interested in a guy for his earning income, if he has nothing special there then a lot of women aren't really interested. 
...and all of this is ok with me.  I didn't expect anybody to be charmed silly by my looks as I got older.   

Kids I'm unsure of whether they could get a bit hard going after a while until of course when they leave. Any thoughts?
Been extremely lucky that my kids are in the business with me.  Some day relatively soon they will break away and do their own thing, their own business.  I think that will be hard for me, although it is just the way it has to be. 

Fathertime! 
I just happened to be browsing about the internet....

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #13 on: July 24, 2021, 03:46:44 AM »
I think some good honest views here from Fathertime & Grumpy. Good to hear also that it's not one big long trudge through to getting kids to adulthood then you see little off them. Also that marriages don't necessarily end up as one or both parties feeling under the heel by the other.

So it seems some ups & downs along the way as thought but not the unrelenting grind I feared unless a bit unfortunate I guess.
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Online 2tallbill

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #14 on: July 24, 2021, 09:25:24 AM »
I think some good honest views here from Fathertime & Grumpy. Good to hear also that it's not one big long trudge through to getting kids to adulthood then you see little off them. Also that marriages don't necessarily end up as one or both parties feeling under the heel by the other.

So it seems some ups & downs along the way as thought but not the unrelenting grind I feared unless a bit unfortunate I guess.

There is a long trudge, there will be incredible difficulties. There will be sleepless nights.
You will have idiot school officials, you will have to deal with incredibly lazy and/or
incompetent school teachers and officials.

If you are engaged in your kids lives this can be the most rewarding thing you have
ever done in your life. You can see the excitement in their face when they figure something
out. You can watch them win a basketball/football/baseball game or lose one. If you have a
boy at some time in their lives they will consider you to be a complete and total idiot. They
will think that they know everything when clearly they know so little about anything.

There are no barriers to entry into parenthood, anybody can make a baby. They just have
to find somebody willing to let you put tab a into slot b and shake. 

Udachi!

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online BillyB

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #15 on: July 24, 2021, 10:45:29 PM »



No kids with current wife yet although she is going to want some. She graduates with an RN now and will get her BSN by next year. One nice thing about being married to a smokinhotkova is that guys leave chocolates on her windshield. I get to eat the chocolates.
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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #16 on: July 25, 2021, 02:39:59 AM »
There is a long trudge, there will be incredible difficulties. There will be sleepless nights.
You will have idiot school officials, you will have to deal with incredibly lazy and/or
incompetent school teachers and officials.

If you are engaged in your kids lives this can be the most rewarding thing you have
ever done in your life. You can see the excitement in their face when they figure something
out. You can watch them win a basketball/football/baseball game or lose one. If you have a
boy at some time in their lives they will consider you to be a complete and total idiot. They
will think that they know everything when clearly they know so little about anything.

There are no barriers to entry into parenthood, anybody can make a baby. They just have
to find somebody willing to let you put tab a into slot b and shake. 

Udachi!

Bill

Incredible difficulties? Surely it can't get that bad an ordeal?

Well my impression is the Schools over in the US sound like they can be more problematic than the Schools here but of course that depends on the School I guess. Some of the worse Schools over here can either be like concentration camps and/or have unruly kids. The later the government have tried to tackle with the concentration camp approach but might still persist. By concentration camp I mean the kids are strictly dealt with and can't do anything unless they are given permission to do so and apparently even if they have can get in sh*t for doing it then parents are brought in to face a panel of teachers to argue over the incident. This is what one parent told me of such a high School and was relieved that their last child would be leaving soon.

Odds are I can deal with a fair amount of sh*t quite easily. I'm not the sort of type to get wound up by every little thing. Some people suffer a minor issue and blow it up into something major and I think give themselves a much bigger ordeal than they need to. As long as having kids isn't one big struggle from one day to the next for years & years then it's something I probably wouldn't regret I think.

A lot of the younger girls in the UK often from social housing knock out kids young with any guy just to get free housing paid for by the state. They tend to be the sort where it's just a case of putting tab A into slot B, they don't tend to care about who the Father is, may not even want him present and don't really care about the kid a lot. So long as the baby stays alive and sometimes they are as present as they should be to ensure that often leaving the baby alone at night while they mess around with their mates.

Just have to see how it goes I guess. I know some kids are easier going than others. Some kids are naturally cheerful by their genetics while others are less easier going. My sister could get very emotional and up tight about stuff and that sort of stuff can make it hard going for the parents I guess. Far nicer to have kids that are happy and easy going in nature I would have thought.
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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #17 on: July 25, 2021, 02:47:59 AM »


No kids with current wife yet although she is going to want some. She graduates with an RN now and will get her BSN by next year. One nice thing about being married to a smokinhotkova is that guys leave chocolates on her windshield. I get to eat the chocolates.

Lol, that's sounds typical of some guys out there, will crack onto any other guys woman if she is even the least bit pretty even if they know she has a guy, married to him or even if they don't know will chance it.

How do you feel about having kids Billy? I'm early to mid forties so reckon if I do it really needs to be in the next few years as I'll be around early sixties by the time the kids have grown up. While medicine is improving I still think that anything much more than that may not be fair on the kids as while someone may due at any age obviously once someone gets towards late sixties/early seventies the odds can go up a bit. That said I could bugger on until I'm in my nineties sometimes there is no telling though I doubt I'll live anywhere near that age.
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Offline Goombah

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #18 on: July 25, 2021, 10:47:59 AM »
How do you feel about having kids Billy? I'm early to mid forties so reckon if I do it really needs to be in the next few years as I'll be around early sixties by the time the kids have grown up. While medicine is improving I still think that anything much more than that may not be fair on the kids as while someone may due at any age obviously once someone gets towards late sixties/early seventies the odds can go up a bit.


FWIW - I'm now 62 with a 13 yo son and an almost 15 yo daughter via my Russian wife of over 15 years.  She brought another with her, and I had two via my first disastrous marriage (hint:  Don't wait until the kids grow up to get a divorce - its NOT easier on them).


Part of having kids when your older is mindset.  I knew with the last set that I was NOT going to work until they were out of college.  I put some money away for them while I was still working, enough to go to a state college, but not anything beyond that.  I'm OK with that.  My parents paid for 1/2 of my first semester, I paid for all the rest working as I got my BS and later my MS (all via night school).  They can do the same.


I semi-retired at 60 and am glad I did.  Knees are weak now, which severely impacts my mobility (I can walk a 1000 feet a day, but that's about it, and struggle to get up if I have to get down on them).  I can't even imagine working a real job now, unless it was 100% office related.  Those knees were fine until about 6 months before I retired.


One little thing for USA folks:  If your kids are under 18 when you start to pull Social Security, they will get a benefit as well.  My two pull a benefit, combined, that is just a bit under what I pull (which is like $100/month under max).  I was totally surprised by this, since I started planning on my retirement when I was in my late 20s, and had never seen any reference on it.  It makes the decision to pull early retirement really easy.

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Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #19 on: July 25, 2021, 11:16:51 AM »
I semi-retired at 60 and am glad I did.  Knees are weak now, which severely impacts my
mobility (I can walk a 1000 feet a day, but that's about it, and struggle to get up if I have
to get down on them). 

I am totally off topic.  :offtopic:

Get replacement knees. My sister had to get a hip replaced, my Grandfather got new
knees in his late sixties and wore them out by his mid/late nineties. He shot an elk
in the desolation unit of the John Day River in Oregon when he was 94 and packed
it out with horses.

Mobility will greatly improve your quality of life.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline ML

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #20 on: July 25, 2021, 01:42:09 PM »

I'm now 62 . . .

. . . what I pull (which is like $100/month under max). 

Can you clarify what you are referring to regarding 'max?'
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Offline Goombah

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #21 on: July 25, 2021, 02:11:34 PM »
Can you clarify what you are referring to regarding 'max?'


"max" as in maximum monthly social security benefit.

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #22 on: July 25, 2021, 10:48:50 PM »
How do you feel about having kids Billy?



I'm alright with having more kids otherwise I wouldn't marry a woman that would want kids. Some older men want to be free and believe kids will tie them down. I don't see kids as a burden.




One little thing for USA folks:  If your kids are under 18 when you start to pull Social Security, they will get a benefit as well.  My two pull a benefit, combined, that is just a bit under what I pull (which is like $100/month under max).  I was totally surprised by this, since I started planning on my retirement when I was in my late 20s, and had never seen any reference on it.  It makes the decision to pull early retirement really easy.



Thanks for educating us. I might just have 10 more kids now knowing there's a profit that can be made off of them.





Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #23 on: July 26, 2021, 03:49:45 AM »
Incredible difficulties? Surely it can't get that bad an ordeal?

Well my impression is the Schools over in the US sound like they can be more problematic than the Schools here but of course that depends on the School I guess. Some of the worse Schools over here can either be like concentration camps and/or have unruly kids. The later the government have tried to tackle with the concentration camp approach but might still persist. By concentration camp I mean the kids are strictly dealt with and can't do anything unless they are given permission to do so and apparently even if they have can get in sh*t for doing it then parents are brought in to face a panel of teachers to argue over the incident. This is what one parent told me of such a high School and was relieved that their last child would be leaving soon.

Odds are I can deal with a fair amount of sh*t quite easily. I'm not the sort of type to get wound up by every little thing. Some people suffer a minor issue and blow it up into something major and I think give themselves a much bigger ordeal than they need to. As long as having kids isn't one big struggle from one day to the next for years & years then it's something I probably wouldn't regret I think.

A lot of the younger girls in the UK often from social housing knock out kids young with any guy just to get free housing paid for by the state. They tend to be the sort where it's just a case of putting tab A into slot B, they don't tend to care about who the Father is, may not even want him present and don't really care about the kid a lot. So long as the baby stays alive and sometimes they are as present as they should be to ensure that often leaving the baby alone at night while they mess around with their mates.

Just have to see how it goes I guess. I know some kids are easier going than others. Some kids are naturally cheerful by their genetics while others are less easier going. My sister could get very emotional and up tight about stuff and that sort of stuff can make it hard going for the parents I guess. Far nicer to have kids that are happy and easy going in nature I would have thought.
Im sure this has been said before but here goes anyway.
Having kids is an expensive business. Feeding and clothing them is just the basics and when they have growth spurts you’ll find shoes/clothes  that were bought a couple of months ago don’t fit anymore.
They’ll also want the real branded stuff, no buying knockoffs on eBay.

Did I mention they can eat like horses and your weekly shop will quadruple quite easily.
Your utility bills will do the same. ( all that extra meters water, electricity and has to pay for) 🤣

Never mind the school demands to pay for this and that, school trips, birthday parties they’ll want to go to and have, leisure activities etc etc.

The list is endless.

Still want kids?


Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Did Marriage/Kids end up all you hoped it would?
« Reply #24 on: July 26, 2021, 06:58:11 AM »
Im sure this has been said before but here goes anyway.
Having kids is an expensive business. Feeding and clothing them is just the basics and when they have growth spurts you’ll find shoes/clothes  that were bought a couple of months ago don’t fit anymore.
They’ll also want the real branded stuff, no buying knockoffs on eBay.

Did I mention they can eat like horses and your weekly shop will quadruple quite easily.
Your utility bills will do the same. ( all that extra meters water, electricity and has to pay for) 🤣

Never mind the school demands to pay for this and that, school trips, birthday parties they’ll want to go to and have, leisure activities etc etc.

The list is endless.

Still want kids?

Thanks JG that's a good run down, fortunately living in the UK I can probably get benefit to pay for most of that ;)
It's a Free Britain we have. We're never going back! :)

 

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